Thursday, 29 December 2016

Experience with NAC and things that halt dream recall

My recent ingestion of NAC induced a very vivid experience of what seemed like body coming apart but recall is not great at the moment. Only remember some things like the sensation of feeling light and some heightened sexual energy at play.

I am definitely dreaming a lot more, most importantly sleeping so well which has been tough. I think the main problem what effects dream recall is being very busy and having a busy lifestyle. It requires a lot of discipline and committment. You literaturely have to be focused on dream and everything dream related.

I am very keen on using dreams as psychotherapy. I am thinking of a routine to make it work. At the moment my current thoughts are asking myself what I want to dream about maybe get some feedback from dreams. I have had some amazing dreams during this past month experimenting with supplements, and some are so creative giving me ideas on work related things. In one particular dream I asked for a dream to help me acknowledge that energy which I've witnessed in my Salvia state and other herb induced and non-induced states to make itself present in dreaming state - the result was very creative ideas.

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Lucid Dream and Dream Recall Supplements

I am taking a new supplement called NAC (N-ACETYL CYSTEINE). This supplement has many health benefits, including restful sleep. I'm not sure if I have sleep apnea but so far on first use of this supplement I slept pretty well. 

I'm not having any success recalling my dreams but hoping with other supplements this will change. I am looking to supplement with extra vitamin b6 as in current vitamin b complex powder I am taking there is only about 25mg of vitamin b6 which may not be sufficient.

My aim with these supplements is not only to induce vivid dreams but mostly for the health benefits. 

I am researching as much as I am able to on amino acids and other supplements that can help normalize nuerotransmitters. My main issue right now is anxiety levels and other stress related conditions.

Monday, 19 December 2016

Unrecallable Trips

After 3ish am attempted sleeping. I ate pretty late, had beef kebabs - beef are loaded with many B vitamins so I thought maybe it will induce more dreaming as it has done so when I'd eaten lamb chops during one evening.

I relaxed as much as I could and suddenly many things began taking place rapidly, so much that I can't recall most of it right now. I was definitely in another place and was able to change my surroundings at will. It was a really intense experience and I mostly remember wanting to be able to recall it.

There was a moment where it was almost like nothing was around me and I was nowhere, that's the only way I could describe it.

UPDATE: Some parts recalled, there were songs being sung in the hindi language, love songs. I recall feeling it with my entire being and feeling cheerful and in awe with how the songs words were being chuned out from within my own knowledge of language. Almost like the feeling of love being interpreted by words that I know. Can anyone think of words that they don't know and make these words make sense.

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Shadow beings behind closed eyelids after taking 5-htp

After taking some 5-htp (200mg) I had Salvia like trip, where I witnessed shadow beings. When I use the term shadow beings I'm not quiet referring to shadow beings witnessed in the room like at the edge of the bed (which I've witnessed before) or coming through the door and the shadow beings that wear hats.

These beings are literally inside my eyelids as if they are a part of it yet at the same time they appear as if outside, separate from my eyelids.

There were pineal gland sensations, a horrible headache often reported with the use of 5-htp. It's interesting that I'm having similar experience as  I had with salvia taking a supplement.

I felt something was exploding in my brain. Just relaxed and dosed off to sleep with all the movements. Their movements were inducing the sensations. I felt like this vision of seeing shadows is almost like being color blind, I could see them in different dark shades but hardly ever color.

Just recalling an old salvia experience where at first I had witnessed the shadows, then some sensations occurred in the brain and other things. After that suddenly the shadows were in full color.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Tryptophan and inducing levels of melatonin

Last night I knew sleeping was going to be tough, so I've been researching about tryptophan and how to use it.

Tryptophan is found in some poultry such as turkey and chicken, however the amounts are very minimal. To produce immediate effects a supplement may be required.

Tryptophan needs to be converted into 5-htp and then into serotonin. The body needs enough serotonin in order to convert into melatonin at night and other factors are important for melatonin to be produced such as eliminating all light sources.

I realized I had some 5-htp 100mg. I had two capsules with water on empty stomach which is apparently not a good idea.

I slept ok - did wake up several times but this is because of needing to empty bladder. I woke up at one point and took my niacin, vitamin b and l-theanine concoction to further aid sleep. It helped me to relax but again needed to empty bladder - I'm going to experiment by drinking only until 4pm to resolve this issue.

When going back to bed I did have an experience which I will write about in next post.

Experimenting with Nootropics

Nootropics (pronunciation: /noʊ.əˈtrɒpᵻks/ noh-ə-TROP-iks)—also called smart drugs or cognitive enhancers—are drugs, supplements, or other substances that improve cognitive function, particularly executive functions, memory, creativity, or motivation, in healthy individuals.

I am experimenting more with various types of Nootropics and have been doing so for about a year now. These seem important if you want to facilitate deeper states of mind. L-theanine seems excellent to induce Alpha brain waves and so far is working for me just need to be consistent at times.

Information on Nootropics are going to fall under category Divine Nutrition.

Monday, 5 December 2016

Dreaming of killing a person - hidden dream meaning interpretation

I dreamed of being in a house with familiar people around me but none I actually recognize from reality. I have a pen knife tool and suddenly a woman I am related to warns that there's an intruder.

Someone has broken in, I take a look at him and know that he is about to attack this other woman who looks to me for protection. Bringing my pen knife out I retaliate and stab the man several times. I can't recall what happened after this because I woke up - feeling rather stressed from this nightmare.

Doing a search on dream interpretation for this I can interpret the dream meaning and how it relates to me.

Recently ended a difficult relationship, the fact that in my dream this man appeared as an intruder represents how the person actually came back into my life, metaphorically speaking. It could also be a warning of another potential intrusion.

The other woman represents a part of my subconscious mind or an aspect of my consciousness needing protection. The act of killing or murdering someone in a dream is a sign of releasing rage and resentment often against a person who has caused the anger. In my case it seems it was an act of self defense.

I've restarted the iodine and this could be what caused me to have this dream or heightened awareness of dreaming. I also dreamed of my cousins whom I have never seen for the longest time - they usually represent a type of change.

I'm using dream journaling as much as I can and see how it relates to my life. Although I do not regularly recall dreams I will try my best with the dream journaling.

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Astral OBE spinning into new surroundings

Woke up late last night trying my best to fall asleep a few hours later. Relaxing I noticed the movements of shadows. Going deeper I have that white geometric rippling effect appear once again. At some point was spinning and entering different places. There was no actual body movement, I still had the feeling of laying on my back only the surrounding around me was changing. I had viewed so many places, kept wondering where I was.

In one scene it's like a shopping mall, but not exactly. There were large pillars with some kind of ad printed on them. I was trying to memorize the logo to look it up upon return to normal waking consciousness.

 I have no idea what to call these experiences anymore, OBE and astral all seems the same although spinning is a classic OBE symptom. I can't recall getting out of the body.

The clarity of this experience is different and much clearer than past experiences.

At one point I remember I was in my bed only in some other place and I looked out to my right where there was an open door, several people passed by and one person I knew from here. She rolled her eyes with her usual rude attitude and closed the door. The others as they passed by seemed curious as to whether I'm awake and I think I was pretending to be unconscious or sleeping.

Friday, 18 November 2016

Bat Attack in Altered State

 Yesterday evening I had drank some red wine which is something I've never done and am only drinking dry red wine for it's digestive health benefits. When I went to bed and closed my eyes I saw the beings in shadow form moving around. The reason why I say I saw them in shadow form is because I feel these same beings can be seen in color and in other ways. Perhaps the shadowness has something to do with the clarity of this vision.

Because I have hardly ever drank any kind of alcoholic beverage I researched it and have noted that some people have experienced hallucinations after drinking a certain amount. I have probably drank around 2 or 3 units.

Last night after 3 am had a long duration of becoming aware of the sleep state. I saw my arms but I'm thinking they are very unlikely to be my physical arms, or maybe they are my physical arms and in that state it's more lighter, who knows? Could be total figment of my imagination which is difficult to conclude considering how realistic they appear. And if these are just my deep unconscious imagination at work then my conclusion would also have to be that reality is also imagined and I do feel this is the case.

There were so many episodes but can only report what I can recollect. The arms were once again light, floating and doing lots of circular movements and raising up etc.

At some point also felt an energy on top of me, body tingled. When the tingling got intense there was also the sense of something being present with me.

I recall rising up and spinning, felt a bit of vertigo. I also ended up finding my body rotated and I was looking at furniture from that angle.

Eventually after all the random incidents I somehow came back to physical awareness and still very relaxed closed eyes and went back in. This time I was looking through my closed eyelids and I can see my room but there were what I would call energies for lack of a better more descriptive term. Everything visible moving and fluctuating but no large shadow looking beings moving around. Suddenly gained more clarity and a bat flew in from the window heading in my direction right into my face with what seemed like the intention to attack me. I got scared, panicked and quickly opened eyes but strangely I can still feel the bat trying to attack me. Knowing that it must still be there I closed eyes and saw the bat was still there.

I grabbed the bat with those other arms and just yanked it to make it stop from attacking me. Suddenly the bat split into silhouette beings. One looked like it had angel wings, a bit like cupid. There were also other things like some kind of mythological creatures. It was a cluster of various beings. This wave of dark beings continued with full force reaching my head until I began feeling movement inside the brain.

All I could think was some kind of dark beings have taken over my brain completely enclosing it, and I couldn't help thinking this was some kind of negative thing going on but at the same time I just simply don't know.

The sensations were incredibly real and I felt what I can only describe as a brain orgasm. When I opened my eyes the sensations were still present for a while. Just before opening my eyes the white vibrating geometric patterns in a black background appeared. These started to have a ripple effect just like in recent experience from the other day Eyes Open and Closed OBE Trip.

I read up about the Bat totem and found that a bat signifies change that might be difficult, a death, ego death, rebirth and some other things.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Eyes Open and Closed OBE Trip

Same thing as the other night, seems to be a repeat pattern of sleeping early and then trying my best to go back to sleep. This time I had a mix of the b vitamins (niacin and b complex) and also some L-theanine.

I relaxed around 2ish am. As I relaxed my visualizations were very clear, seeing vivid random images in my minds eye (eyes closed).

Suddenly I became alert and aware of my room around me as though I had somehow kept my eyes open during sleep and was only conscious of it at that moment. I continued to relax, breathing changed until I was no longer breathing. I felt something very close to me, it would seem it had occupied my body. It was breathing in a sort of ruffling kind of manner which was quite intimidating only I decided to not fear it so much and just observe.

My head moved to the left and mouth opened and then closed. Then head back in original position. I'm laying on my back the entire time this is happening. Then I feel my legs raise up, light as a feather. The legs go back down. I felt like this procedure was being carried out to see how aware I was, maybe but not entirely sure. I did get the sense that this other presence, whatever, or whoever it was assumed I was not aware. It could be that maybe I am aware of these incidents but upon waking from sleep lose all memory of it, so these types of experiences could actually be happening every night.

Then I had the classic OBE symptoms take place. I started to glide to the right side of the room. Then spinning around and gliding to the other side. It was like the space around me had expanded or I had shrunk that the amount of time to move around seemed unreasonably long. I felt an adrenaline rush as I moved across because of the speed. Also was excited wondering where I'd end up as I haven't had an OBE / astral experience in a long time. My level of conscious awareness was impressive.

As my body reached more towards the window my body was still taking a long time. I felt I needed to do something or I would lose this awareness. My vision was fading so I decided to close my eyes and white vibrating geometric patterns in a black background appeared. After a moment of these ripples I opened my eyes and my awareness was the same level as it was during this short but rather long trip.

It was odd as the movement of the body was rapid meaning I was gliding and moving at what seemed like a rapid speed in what was actually a short distance but simultaneously seemed to take a very long time.

I'm curious about these states of mind and I haven't dabbled in OBEs / Astral Travels in a long time. The supplements I'm taking seem to be a key to these types of experiences.

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Moonlight Wake Up Call and Body Possession

Exhausted and slept early yesterday. Just after 9:20 am I awakened with the moonlight glaring at me, very bright almost like a torch light shining directly in my eyes.

After this sleep was impossible and spent most of the night researching. Then by 3 am I attempted to go to sleep.

Soon enough I was waking up again, only this time my arms were moving on their own. I was looking around the room not sure about the arrangement. Soon enough my body was rising up and a few times sinking, I felt like I was being placed upright at one point. There was also some sexual arousal present.

It was like something else had taken possession and complete control over my body, if it was even my body. I thought at one point what if this is another person, another room similar to mine. I recall Robert Monroe having experiences similar to this, waking up in another life.

The arms had this unusual way of floating, elegantly and softly curling upwards and extremely lightweight.

A few times I was only able to control my arm movement slightly, towards the end I felt stuck in that state and tried to move out of it. Regaining control was difficult and took long until I snapped out.

This seems like a classic OBE.

Thursday, 27 October 2016

Eye colour changing dream and dream interpretation

This morning had a series of some very vivid dreams. In this dream I am in front of a mirror and look very normal, I turn away and see that a lump has formed on left eyelid and start to break out in a rash (lumps of raised skin).

I get so fixated on these issues and can't believe the rate at which these abnormalities are appearing. Suddenly I notice my eyes are getting much lighter and turning hazel. I'm shocked by the sudden change. The left eye starts to close in a way that is fitting for a horror movie. I keep trying to force it open to see the changed eye colour and soon enough both eyes are closing.

After this I'm back in bed but not quite there's that phenomena of room shape shifting. I look to my right where a man is sitting at the opposite part of the room watching me as though he was there the whole time. He's communicating with me and I distinctly hear him calling me by my name during the time I start to panic and do that thing where I try to break free (out of the dream or other states that feel threatening).

When I broke free, back in the room take a moment to ponder this and just easily fall back asleep with more dreams commencing.

I then have another dream about sister panicking about a friend who is having a hard time and she is telling me it's so bad that her roof collapsed and that everything is falling apart.


The rash could indicate healing or detoxing issues.

Seeing eyes closing can mean a refusal to see or accept something or learn to trust that you can do something with eyes closed. It could also be an indication of needing more sleep. I think I probably fall under all these categories.

The sudden change in eye colour can indicate some kind of transformation or a difference in perspective.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Deep Astral Memory Loss

I kind of did the WBTB method last night, not intentionally just something that happens when I suffer from a bout of insomnia. Insomnia is something that hasn't happened a lot lately, in fact I have been sleeping so well hardly any interrupted sleep throughout the night.

Yesterday however I went to bed earlier and awoke just after midnight (I think it's actually having to empty bladder that has disrupted sleep in the past and one thing I'm doing is not drinking before bed).

Around 1am I had some iodine in water. About an hour later I had a concoction of vitamin b complex and vitamin b3 powders in a glass of water. To this I added some inositol and l-theanine. The niacin flushing kicked in around 20 minutes later when I began itching like a lunatic. I've read that the itchiness is due to blood vessels opening and because of this toxins and other things are carrying around more effectively causing a flushing.

Despite taking this concoction I was not able to go back to sleep mostly because I had a lot on my mind and as soon as I felt I was forcing myself to sleep decided to force myself to stay awake which strangely had the opposite effect of making my eyes droopy - so now I know how to trick myself to go back to sleep; by forcing myself to stay awake.

I suppose other insomniac sufferers can give this a try, stare at the ceiling and say "Do not fall asleep, keep your eyes open". Repeat this over and over again even when you feel like your eyes are closing, soon enough you won't be able to keep them open and give in to sweet sleep. In my case I entered a really deep state of mind. I definitely recall the floating up and other things started to take place which I have now completely forgotten. I also remember I kept telling myself that I will remember what is happening, almost embedding the memory so that it is unforgettable. However I can't recall it, maybe I should have told myself to forget the experience for a positive reverse effect. Or I need something that helps dream recall.

I haven't taken iodine for a long time, only reason I took it last night is because I know there's a virus going around, possibly the dreaded norovirus / stomach bug. I have been trying to consistently take this type of concoction but think that I will reserve it for these types of nights where sleep is a little difficult.

Monday, 19 September 2016

Contact with Actual Person in Real Dream Like State

Ok so these experiences are so absolutely crazy and freaky. Lots of panicking going on because of these types of experiences but still intriguing.

I awoke around 1:40am and for next few hours just focused on washing some dishes left behind and various other cleaning till I felt sleepy. It was much later around 5 am when I decided to just relax but just before getting into bed I had taken a concoction. Niacin, b complex, inositol and l-theanine powders mixed in water (the dosage varied for each).

It was easy enough to let go and let sleep kick in. I suddenly opened my eyes, vision was blurry at first just like when you wake up from a long sleep. I'm trying to make sense of my surrounding because I do have a very drowsy feeling still. When there was some clarity with my vision, I noticed that I was with someone I'm only seeing briefly. I don't really see him properly but sense he is on the other side of the room and I cannot turn my head to look at him, can't recall if this was due to paralysis. Then it seemed he left for a moment but there was a young man just at the edge of the bed and when I looked at him he looked back and slowly started approaching me. I get this unusual sense that he has some kind of sexual malicious intent because the other person I knew had left the room. Naturally I panic and with all my force try to snap out of it.

Back in bed (reality). I calm down thinking it was just one those crazy realistic dreams or sleep paralysis nightmare. I close my eyes again and this time I keep my body slightly turned to the left and now I see the person I am acquainted with and am shocked he is there in such vividness as if he were really there and I was there with all my current mental faculties in absolute shock. I kept wondering in my mind how he was able to be there.

He seems different, more confident, stronger yet dark and controlling. He begins talking to me and I hear his words clearly. After this the experience turns very sexual and soon enough I awaken. I kept thinking either it was actually him, in his spirit form or something and then I thought it could be those wild beings I encountered taking on the forms of people I know. And of course then there's that theory that it was actually just a dream, a very intensely vivid dream.

Monday, 5 September 2016

Auto Breathing Awareness

Last night I slept very late after 3am. After I laid my head on the pillow and closing my eyes within a minute my breathing went into auto mode. This is a very interesting thing that has happened often when I experienced the kundalini energy. When I think about it breathing is on auto whether we are aware of it or not. So maybe it was my level of awareness was heightened particularly in the sleep state because that is a state we are hardly aware of anything. The exhalations were lengthy, and each time I felt it I snapped out. The more it happened there was a feeling of lightness, almost similar to the sensation of coming out of the body and I'm sure I could have had an OBE / astral projection of some kind. It felt like my body was being taken into control by something else when the auto breathing started.

I did take L-theanine during the night, this time drinking it with sparkling water as well as the b complex vitamins.

Friday, 2 September 2016

Caterpillar in My Ear Dream

This was one of those dreams that left residue sensations upon awakening. I dreamt that something was in my ears and it was being pulled out with a tweezer. Was not sure if I was pulling it out or someone else. In the dream as it was coming out I felt a vibrating sensation in right ear, probably tinnitus. It was a yellow hairy freakish looking caterpillar.

Again dream recall has not been all that great and I know it's mostly because of being so busy.

I'm not sure if it is the l-theanine but when this takes effect I get the same fluttering sensation in my peripheral vision. I don't think the l-theanine is enough to help with dreaming, better suited for relaxation. However will still be experimenting with it.

Monday, 29 August 2016

Some more dream updates

So I haven't been taking everything that I needed for the dreaming but am consistently taking the b vitamins and l-theanine, sometimes 5-HTP. I am definitely having more dreams or becoming more aware just recall is bad and I think that's because I have so many preoccupations I instantly forget the dreams. Another issue is I'm just not sleeping early enough.

L-theanine is doing wonders for stress and anxiety. I don't think I could be without it anymore. I listened to hemi-sync last night and that puts me to sleep.

Saturday, 20 August 2016

L-theanine detox dreams and Salvia thoughts

Had the l-theanine supplement, possibly around 300mg and the b-complex last night as well as 5-htp. Had a few very vivid dreams but I think what is important is that I had better recall than usual.

I recalled a dream related to cousin and her family as well as sister. I always attribute any dreams related to cousin to do with some kind of major change. This is a cousin that I haven't seen in forever yet they do not live too far. In the dream I dreamt of sending her a letter, in another dream my sister was trying to get rid of me from her house. Only her house in reality belongs to cousin.

I need to take the supplement much earler around 6ish pm so I fall asleep earlier since lately I have been going to bed after 11pm.

A thought crossed my mind today about L-theanine and it's use with Salvia Divinorum. I think because of the relaxing effects of L-theanine in conjuction with Salvia this can produce some interesting results.

Here's a quote about brain waves:

"Theta waves (3 to 8 Hz) occur during sleep but have also been observed in the deepest states of Zen meditation. Alpha waves (8 to 12 Hz) are present when your brain is in an idling default-state typically created when you're daydreaming or consciously practicing mindfulness or meditation."

L-theanine produces Alpha waves in the brain. I should be very excited about this, but I think I took way too much of the L-theanine last night.

Friday, 19 August 2016

Dream Supplement L-theanine Update

So it is day two now since I started taking L-theanine, I am dreaming more but recall is still not so great however this supplement is doing wonders for my stress and anxiety levels. Felt an amazing mental clarity, I don't think I ever felt so much clarity like this before. It has stopped racing thoughts and also resolving insomnia issues - I think this is perfect for trying astral projecting, just need to work out the correct dose and what works best for me. Today I woke around 4am and took it straight away while relaxing I should have focused on my intention to astral project, so I haven't been putting the intention through.

One dream I recalled this morning was about dogs. There was a variety of dogs and I was avoiding each one. I ended up somewhere towards the end of a lane with a duvet where I thought there were legs of a dog but it was an imprint.

From the top of my head dog symbolizes protection and loyalty, as a totem this is probably what it represents.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Dream Supplement Experiment with L-theanine

I have just got started on the L-theanine from yesterday but need to get a digital scale to make sure I am measuring it properly so not sure how much I'm even taking at the moment.

One of the main reason why I'm taking this is because of extreme levels of anxiety and stress, so hope this calms the nerves. I also have some remaining 5-HTP which I plan to start taking only every other day.

I have done only some research but have discovered that L-theanine can cause vivid or lucid dreams. I absolutely love dreaming especially the adventurous cinematic dreams so I'm hoping this has some effect. I plan to take at night time before going to bed since it helps with sleep.

I'm curious what kind of effect this would have with an entheogen such as Salvia as in past use of this helped increase effects of whatever I was consuming.

Before going to bed I'm going to set some dream intentions. I plan to take the L-theanine in conjuction with the WBTB method as I tend to wake up a lot in the middle of sleeping usually after 3am which will be the time to take it as well as before bed time. I am aiming for a dosage of 200mg before bed and 200mg if I wake up any time after 3am.

Saturday, 13 August 2016

Dream Supplements

The following is a list of a few dream supplements, herbs and other stuff I am taking or planning to include which I will continue to update:

Vitamin B Complex - includes Choline
Iodine - (seems to cause detox dreams)
Raw Potato Starch

I am not taking these things all together and some are part of my detoxing routine. I am also doing other things, focusing on healing in general. What I'm noticing now is that physical healing helps us tap in to energy centers we are unable to when unwell. My health is very standard but has improved a lot. In my experience it seems dreaming is very much related to physical health and well-being and I have experienced quite a bit of detox dreams.

For a certain period since the time I have become extremely occupied with many activities the dreaming sort of halted. It could be because I lost interest in this area due to being so occupied (work, life, stress). Some of the supplements I am now taking are also to help relieve stress and anxiety which seems to be an ordinary common side effect for modern day living.

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Dream Speed Thinking

Last night I had Vitamin B complex in water then went to bed surprisingly slept well in heatwave without any fan. I awoke around 3am then back to sleep. I became aware of being in a gliding vehicle in a tunnel type of path, there is a driver in this vehicle and I am accompanying him - there are people all around watching, they seem to be an audience but not viewing a stage, a kind of awareness each one has.

These scenes felt like being inside a computer game.

The vehicle is moving so fast the audience can't even witness the driver (I've had a dream similar to this will look for it later). The entire is like a rush to me, the passenger. Everyone is perplexed wondering how it is done, moving and being on that path without being witnessed.

In another scene instead of this vehicle there is a large hand moving up a mountain. It is dark but there are glowing almost artificial lights present. I am also another large hand and witnessing myself (inside the large hand?) falling. The other hand that is ahead of me drops down to my level and pulls me up to safety and we're both continuing to move.

After the dream I awoke and pondered what the dream meant. As I thought about it I started to think about creation and wondered about the breakthrough I made with what has been called God Realization or Self Realization. How does God know what will happen before everything happens?

The One who made this world and all creations is fast in thinking, at such a speed that nobody will be able to witness such thoughts except as manifestations in the world or dream or in the forms of miracles. So if God made the world and as is mentioned in the Bible that God made man in his image, then why do humans seem completely Godless, completely unlike a God?

Because human beings are not thinking at the same speed. Why aren't human beings thinking at the same speed? If you look at the society we as human beings partake in you will see the obstacles of everyday living and how this effects thinking. The mind is bombarded with conflicts and the many reactions from worldly affairs. Just think for a moment what kind of thought went into nature, take for example a tree. The roots and how it draws in water and nutrients to the growth of leaves and then fruits which contains a seed that will then recreate another tree. Science can break down the function and processes of a tree but it will take much more than analysis to figure out or understand the very nature of such a creation. It requires faster speed of thinking and human beings waste thought on a lot of unnecessary concerns with their thinking trapped in time.

When we can match that speed only then a human being can understand creation. This human being is free of internal conflict, completely free of fear has no concern about what to eat, what to wear and how to live. This human being is simply God working through a human vessel. The irony is that by these God like qualities we are what we are whether we are in conflict or living peacefully.

There are so many spiritual scriptures that state to quiet the mind, allow thoughts to dissolve I think it is only in this inner silence one understands their true nature.

The Bhagavad Gita, Holy Bible, Quran, Guru Granth Sahib, Sufi teachings, Buddhism and no doubt more share teachings on how to form habits so that others may fall into their true state. 

Monday, 30 May 2016

Lucid Dreams and Vitamin B Complex

Since my God Infused experiences (have yet to publish these) I am dreaming more vividly. Have been taking the B Complex for a while with high dose niacin which took some time to get to that level. Taking a high dose niacin without slowly getting the body used to small doses is a recipe for disaster.

I have been taking for a while but never had the dreams become so clear. It's also helping with insomnia issues in fact the best time for me to take it is when I awaken after 2am and struggle to fall back to sleep. The Niacin helps with relaxation.

This morning around 4am I had a lot of bubbly thoughts praising the One that I became aware of recently and slowly suddenly in the darkness of my closed eyelids and deeply relaxed I became aware of forming faces. There was a group of young men and women. Scanning all over I see one particular woman, her features seem similar to mine only she was a black woman. I got this sense that I'm her in some other lifetime. This individual seems really mad in the dream, she is staring opposite her at a man who has another woman beside him. She is really pissed off, the guy may have left her or something had gone wrong in the relationship.

I didn't take in too much of the story line as my awareness was completely focused on how real it all seemed. I'm dreaming a lot more and these dreams are getting even more clearer. Had a dream recently about a horse which I brought into the house, it was tamed but so tamed that it was behaving like a human. It would walk with front legs up.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Lucid Vivid Dream Concoctions

I have been taking iodine as a supplement for over a year now, and taking breaks from it now and then. Have found a way to have very vivid dreams and experiencing a higher degree of awareness of the sleep state.

Did this last night and had a lot of vivid dreaming going on and a moment where I was very much awake in a different state just can't recall it much.

The trick is 10 or 15 drops of lugols iodine in a glass of water drinking this slowly. Then 500g niacin (flushing type), B complex and vitamin b2, 1/2 teaspoon inositol in powder form diluted in water and then drink. I constantly wake up around 1am or some time after that. At least once every night I wake up after which sleeping is so difficult, this is the only thing helping me to get back to sleep faster as well as having a good night sleep and the added bonus seems to be these vivid dreams which is likely due to a combination of the iodine (this keeps a person alert which is why it is recommended to take earlier during the day) and the B vitamins giving vivid dreaming.

I'm hoping to get in tune with the dreaming and what I dream about. Hopefully will make notes upon waking up from the dreams.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Body Beings Breaking Through

Last night after waking up around 10pm (long nap) then around after midnight I had some iodine since I felt like had a bit of food poisoning issue. After this had vitamin b complex with niacin plus extra inositol.

Then within few minutes went to sleep. Straight away I was aware entering into that sleep state. Felt something on top of me. Sexual sensations and movement, something had pressed its head against my head and I got sudden glance of it staring at me. Sexual energy was high.

The entire episode was of a very sexual nature. I kept entering different scenes, like astral projection but more clearer than ever before. I recall seeing a window with curtains and tried to recall where my own window had been and I remembered in that state that I also had blinds and not curtains. My memory of this life here right now from the vantage point I am writing from seemed like a distant hazy dream. And even the new surrounding was unfamiliar. I felt like I was suffering from amnesia. I was constantly aware of other beings moving around, some to my left. They were aware of me. I felt something moving around the left side and watched it run in a flash. Focused my gaze and trying to eliminate it with my mind thinking it was not friendly.

A few times emerged back into my bedroom feeling pounding all around the body, felt like all those beings of the body that I usually encounter in deep meditation with Salvia were having sexual intercourse.

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Beings of the Wall

I awakened around 1:30am and back to sleeping after 2am. At some point aware of the sensation of the third eye. Very magnetic then between interval of dreams I experienced something that felt so very real, where there was awareness of the left side of my wall and beings emerging out of them made out of the structure of the wall. It was like they were pretending to be the wall and in that state that I became aware of they moved about freely no longer representing or forming the wall.

A few times I was flung back and forth almost like I was a part of their group. They seemed young, childlike and absolutely free as well as playful. When I woke up I almost completely forgot this incident until I remembered it suddenly. I also remember there was quite a bit of communication going on, some kind of plot forming between the beings but cannot recall full details.

It seems more and more important to see nocturnal activity - if only I didn't have so many distractions I would focus on practicing. I'm going to try to constantly increase the magnetic sensation of the third eye during ordinary waking consciousness.

Morning Full Song In My Head

This morning I awakened around 4am, unusual things going on yesterday possibly due to extreme heatwave. I feel I'm being challenged in some ways. People that I've been trying to erase and move out of my life popping back in. So much influence and control need to be really strong so I'm not sucked back in. I do believe that some people have the ability to drain your energy.

The reason why I mention this is because I think the song in my head was a song being listened to by one of the person contacting me yesterday. At first the song seemed to be in his language but it took on a different style and accent that I was sure I was listening to something different. I also had the feeling that he was listening to it at the time and then there was that feeling of the body being used by a higher power tuning into different frequencies.

This is the same higher power I am communicating with, when I asked if song was coming from it my head nodded in the affirmative.

You know when you're sleeping it takes over and very rarely you get to catch it in action using the body in so many amazing ways.

Recent deep meditations making me want to write an explanation of the Bhagavad Gita (The Song of the Lord) but a remix version by writing it in a way that can be understood by the 21st Century modern day lay person. Because the time when the Bhagavad Gita came out was way different then todays day and age. In each age these teachings need to be explained and communicated in a different way so as to get through to current day people. I've discovered some very important things whilst reading Bhagavad Gita and going into deep meditation such as the evenness of the breath and how food and thoughts shape the personality and characteristic qualities of a person which the Bhagavad Gita refers to as a person's nature.

I don't see it as my responsibility to help people discover the things I am discovering in my own journey, however I feel very much inclined to do this. At the same time I'm noticing the distractions of ordinary living and this is the challenge. Already people trying to divert my attention.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Phantom Arm and Stab Attack

At my sisters for a few days. The pieces of fire wood have the faces, one being very detailed. Having some nightmares whilst there.

The other day went into her basement and started thinking that the only reason basements have a creepy vibe is because of all those horror movies.

Some of the dreams have been a bit sexual. This morning the nightmare was so realistic I heard myself shriek as I awakened. Before the nightmare I was in that sleep paralysis state, except my right arm felt like it was moving on it's own. I looked to see it only my arm was not there - just the sensation of arm moving. This phantom arm has been present in many other experiences. Sensations felt stronger this time and I was more alert, more awake.

I woke up, attempted to sleep again and then had the nightmare. The doorbell rang. I sensed someone next to me. Looked to the left to see a figure wearing white, then someone in front of me with knife slashing down into my abdomen. This is when I screamed and awakened and as I did looking all about me I saw the figure was converting into duvet and the knife was transforming back into the window screen above on the wall in front of me.

Is reality, dreams and nightmares based on transmorphism? Another word to describe it is transmogrify.

transmorphism: The evolution of one thing from another; the transformation of one thing into another.

transmogrify: To change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform. 

My feelings and energy has been pretty negative lately maybe this is reason for nightmares recently.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Questions and Answers with My Head

My head moves on it's own, my body very floppy lately - it almost feels like something else wearing me but not being able to control movements 100%. I should be alarmed as I know there are a few physical conditions with body moving like this as a symptom except when I ask it questions there's a response from the movements and it's all so very intelligent, they are not like spasms or sudden jolts. Sometimes it's very dance like swaying which I've read is common with Kundalini Awakenings.

Recently I got advice from it. The details I got are very interesting and they are about life, about where I'm headed and where I should go. Whether or not I should do something. When I go out now whenever I can do it without anyone looking at me I ask it before I take a particular direction.

I jotted it all down to see if it does all come true or I'm just insane...

Sunday, 24 April 2016

The Ghost on my Drawer

I had some very interesting dreams, vivid and relating to things going on in life. The theme of the dream was about negative vibes and in the dream I had a sister present and I am showing her how to send out positive vibes and making her aware that she is harboring negative vibes.

In one scene I have a bow with some unusual type of arrow and shoot out an arrow telling my sister to think of sending out positive vibes by this act. A lot of other things began to happen, turning almost nightmarish, with the energy and atmosphere changing really fast.

Suddenly it changes so much to the point I see a ghostly form that has a white face with upper black clothing visible. It felt like a sleep paralysis state and I began trying to snap out being slightly uncomfortable with this ghostly form. As I snapped out I kept a close eye on it and watched the white of its face transform into the white bag on a clay bowl on top of my drawer, the dark body form was just the bowl with parts of the drawer. It's interesting to watch these transitions.

Are hallucinations just simply a distortion of everyday objects? I've had an experience like this before with witnessing the figure of an alien and seeing it transition into a part of my table and more and more I feel I am understanding something difficult to express.

Last night as I tried to sleep I placed my right arm over my eyes and randomly just felt the feeling of my arm, the sense and awareness of being and the external noise were like ideas. That the very feeling of my arm in that moment was make believe, completely imaginary. I became so aware of the feelings which I felt with the idea of the body listening carefully to all the registered output of the sensory projections.

Saturday, 23 April 2016

Lights Colors and Rising Command

I awakened last night around 2am back to sleep suddenly aware of colored lights flashing, sparks and feeling of something else around me controlling my movements like a puppeteer. Also at the time of it happening  I kept feeling like it was a seizure. There was non verbal communication yet also felt like I could clearly hear the words, telling me to rise. I felt this sense it telling me to be free by rising.  Just before this happened had lots of tingling feelings in arms like pins and needles felt that I might have slept on my arm causing it to feel numb and stopping blood from circulating properly.

It was a really tough night, lots of discomfort.

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Meditation Uncontrolled Breathing

Yesterday evening 9pm tried to start with my very simple meditation but ended up listening to meditation audio by hemi sync "Opening the Heart". Had some white noise in background from distiller.

 About 10 minutes after the audio sometime after the breathing exercise I lost control of the breathing and became aware of an uncontrolled breathing. First there was no breathing with a weightless feeling and suddenly this would be followed by long exhales, but no actual breathing in or at least was not aware of any inhalations.

At the time of it happening I felt very aware that either there was something else that was controlling the breathing (meaning someone else occupying body) or the body capable of doing this on its own.

Obviously we breathe naturally whether awake or not and it seems the body just regulates it. In this case where I am meditating the pattern of breathing is very elaborate, there seemed to be some kind of purpose behind this type of breathing. Maybe just releasing toxins.

After this meditation fell asleep and awakened at around 2:30 am, lots of vivid dreaming right now cannot recall.

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Meditation Practice

So once again I am going to be fully dedicating myself to practicing meditation, this time I want to go much deeper and I mean at least as deep as I go with Salvia.

Diaphragmatic breathing and allowing thoughts to naturally dissipate. The key is to simply watch the thoughts pass by. I will also be practicing third eye meditation.

In the past third eye meditation I have had extraordinary experiences such as seeing through the eyelids and watching shapes and forms being drawn with closed eyelids.

I'm also going to be simplifying my life to make time for it.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

States of Mind in Meditation

Yesterday I listened to a few old chakra meditaitons that were collecting dust. Listened to three and my injured arm would suddenly jolt, there were a few jolts of the entire body. It was very relaxing.

I might be trying out the whole astral projection thing I used to be able to do. Early morning I had an opportunity but for some reason these times I'm super alert and awake ready to start my day rather than relax deeply which is what helps me to project.

I'll continue to listen to the occasional meditation audio but need to go back to deep diaphragmatic breathing and focusing on third eye meditation.

The Truth About Psychic Abilities

I had this thought a while back but haven't really come down to writing about it. Long time ago, just before I dabbled in occult, metaphysical matters and started getting into astral projecting I was curious about psychic abilities, ghosts spirits etc. It was fascinating though I never quite believed in these things.

I don't want to say that my opinions have changed regarding the subject when in fact thoughts regarding it has evolved and I never really had much of an opinion. Understandings come to me in flashes now, I just have to think about a subject and I just know and understand things without having to so much as google it. Almost like the mind has a built in search engine. The understandings are more like knowings and they come naturally as part and parcel of whatever my thoughts are dwelling on.

The thoughts came to me when my sister expressed her interests in reading energy and psychic abilities. She had an experience where she knew her colleague was going to leave, soon enough this came to be. I questioned if she believed that we create our reality or reality just happens to us. It was something for me to think about because I have dabbled in the Law of Attraction and have manifested things. The answer in short is: it's both. We create and have the ability to predict because infinite possibilities exist and deep down all knowing exists about everything.

I was thinking about mediums who were able to communicate with dead people. Based on my salvia experiences if people are not real then the dead people seen are like the ghosts of well imaginary beings that were like ghosts anyways.

In some sense mediums are actually not communicating with the spirits of dead people instead they are picking up vibrations from other people.

Example: Sally's mother has passed away, Allison is a medium who picks up on Sally's vibrations and connects with Sally's mother but she is actually picking up on thought patterns, vibrations that are being emitted by Sally. You see Sally's mother is a part of Sally's vibration and thought patterns. And all these vibrations and thought patterns are like residues in the great big mind loaded with ever expanding content (data, information). And you are here on this page, reading this post as a result of that.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Post Head Injury Brain Charge and Kundalini Activity

I had a head injury last weekend (was attacked in an unbelievably horrendous manner). I have survived the incident and am in recovery mode. Experienced some minor memory loss.

Lots of blood loss, I think the blood loss happened for some kind of reason. This is going to sound unusual but I've been detoxing for a while and it's possible that a lot of toxins have been floating around in my system. While in hospital I considered what if the incident (as well as a severe blood loss incident last December) was planned (by the One who dreams up this entire reality) in order for blood loss to remove floating toxins. God works in mysterious ways.

After the incident, first two days falling off to sleep I'd catch myself smiling, a very happy smile and feeling at peace whilst drifting off.

This morning when it was still dark I felt a presence behind me. The encounter was very sexual though no lust present. Presence reminded me of someone I'm currently seeing.

Had the mula bhanda experience, tailbone rattled and then there was a charge in the brain, pulsing electrical sensations.

Saturday, 20 February 2016

The Flaming Aircrafts Apocalyptic Dream

Had another apocalyptic dream. Again same sister present. I'm looking out the window the stars are moving too fast but they look too orange to be stars.

Then it's like the screen of the sky is lowered or my eyes zoom in a little. I see clearly that it is aircrafts on fire.

Then it seems I have a false awakening. I look up in the sky tell sister about what I saw and have imminent feeling to group  everyone together. Some kind of war was about to take place, war is what was going to cause the apocalypse.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

The black tornado dream

In the dream looking out of window, in the middle of town black smoke, then turns into a black tornado. An apocalyptic feeling. Tell sis R bout this to quickly alert her, show her but it disappears and she does not see it. Then I look again see it turning into a more ferocious tornado, growing bigger.

Other dreams also vivid but this is the only one I recall. Upon waking up felt things moving around my body. Kundalini text reveal this as snake movements around the body. However, I kept thinking what if it was parasites because I have been focusing on detox and stuff so I would think that.

Dream symbology black tornado probably means the end of something or could even be interpreted as the beginning of something have to see my current life circumstances to interpret this.

Yesterday I repeated  sat naam

Monday, 15 February 2016

Another Morning Sexual Incident

Last night read some SGGS (Sri Guru Granth Sahib) and some after awakening around 4 am. By 5 am I attempt to relax and get some sleep. I'm instantly awakened with some sexual arousal that is hard to contain. I am sleeping on my right side. I can feel something holding me in this position. There are amorous feelings coming from it. The closeness is too real. I can feel pressure applied to the side of the neck. I look and see my right arm raising up.

There wasn't that sense of violation, I felt too close to this unknown presence. Tingling and other sensations present, intoxicated trying my best to control myself. When I open eyes I feel right arm underneath resting seeming to have been lifted. It was definitely not right physical arm that moved but a copy or version of it.

No tired feelings, but not too energetic although today got more done than usual.

I feel though what if it is the combination of the others that I see giving me the feeling of being close to something and inducing sexual feelings. I mean after all this human form is what I perceive to be a combination of exactly that at least in those deep Salvia induced meditative states.

Friday, 12 February 2016

Entity sexual experience

Last night I must have fell asleep around 2 or 3 am after being awake for quite long. Also I was pondering the nature of Self, the great mind, that one that alone exists. I thought about all the people, all the things imagined. I focused on mantra I am. My entire night also went about communicating with my surrounding, pondering each particle as Self, I am. Connecting with it all.

I went to bed relaxed but no sleep. All I recall is naturally focusing on nothing, but then felt a cessation of sound and breathing, as though breathing had left or transformed into something un-sensable.

There was silence complete quiet and then a feeling of something coming next to the body. A light bubbly floating kind of weight. On top, felt it all around the legs, and then what followed was like sexual intercourse. My left cheek had a very intense sensation like something touching it there.

There were deep sensations in the forehead area I'm assuming something being done to the third eye. There was also that feeling I get on Salvia where beings that compose the body were moving away, as if retiring from the act of being the body parts. I could sense them. With eyes closed there were also the shadowy silhouettes but was a little faint.

I wasn't quite aroused sexually but stayed silent and still. A few times moved about. Then I just tried my best to sleep but when I went deeper my head jerked with a jolt and I was startled. After a while tried to sleep it off. I woke up feeling not having slept well, missed out on a lot of sleep.

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

If nobody is real then who am I?

Nobody was at home the others arranged so that house is empty for what was about to take place.
I read online about the words I am, is used as a mantra. I soaked leaves walking around chanting I am and looking at the beings embedded in the surrounding making them aware of my attempt. In times long gone language was different word I am wasn't used but it's the name the word it's the feeling that those words no matter in what language evoke. Without even taking salvia as I looked around me I got the same kind of sense and visual I get on Salvia.  I got started with the chewing. Going deep so many realizations came at once one was about bible as I saw the beings unravel I realized they were not about human beings like current day human beings they were about these beings. Our nature was different more holistic. I kept focus on I am entering whole state of mind as usual breath leaving, dead state but then throat keeps swallowing salvia. Like throat or some other part of body trying to indicate that I'm not quite dead. Then something extraordinary happens, the realization that no body really exists is present, they're all part of mind, like imagination but this has happened before why is it so extraordinary now because the reality of it hit me so hard I would liken it to trauma. I had tears dropping and that sensation was phenomenal. I was able to shout out though I didn't need to.

I demanded if those around me are not real and part of the mind then who am I. I asked loudly strongly clearly and the answer came to me in a knowing sense. I could feel a wave of beings rushing and felt something was about to happen. The light ceiling came to life everything was alive and dancing and moving. The answer is there, in the very atmosphere, in the surroundings. A part of the mind does not want to accept it, accept the fact that I am God. I am the God in the bible, I am what Jesus meant by "the father and I are one", I am the human God of the Egyptian times I am the servant that becomes one with the Lord in the Guru granth sahib. I am the very God in every creation. The Self of the Self. I am. Meditate mantra I am, the feeling it arouses is important. This is what Krishnamurti meant when he said Is not the observer the observed?

Friday, 5 February 2016

The Unicorns

Yesterday as I went to bed I simply asked in my mind why a particular person had shown up in my reality, the purpose and reason behind it and why I suddenly craved for this companionship.

Went to bed and closed eyes I dozed off within a few minutes. I felt gargling sensations coming from the stomach and knew I did not eat right also very dehydrated. My mind fully awake but body went into an instant coma and external sounds as well as all senses became intense. Forced the right side of body out of the paralysis and quickly drank just a few sips from water bottle.

Back to bed I had the most amazing cinematic type dreams.

A Bollywood Dream Production
First I recall dreaming about several bollywood actors and a new movie production. In the dream I am making comparison between Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan in terms of attraction. SK had even features and SRK not so even but one thing both had in common was they both had hair transplant and SRK is describing procedure to me. Suddenly they are debating about religion between Hinduism and Islam and I think there was some mention of Christianity. In reality both actors follow Islam.

Suddenly the scene changes to a bollywood movie production only I am viewing it in proper 3D as if alive with the characters. First scene Madhuri Dixit is in between certain trees with black scarf on her head, her face very natural and pretty. SRK is telling her something about keeping something and I get impression the conversation is regarding a child. Next scene involves Deepika Padunoke where she sings about being in love with SRK but she wants to transform that love into Gods Love. Somehow this entire movie becomes religious in some sense.

The Missing Boy
I then went on to dream about a missing boy, where me and others were searching for him for many years. Finally we get to an island where there are men who all would be around the same age as the missing boy but all of them looked similar to the boy. Because of this we had to observe the characteristics of each of the men to figure out which one was the missing boy. I remember speaking to one of the men and had a deep feeling that he was the one.

The Unicorns 
This dream is set in the woodlands, a beautiful fairy tale like forest but at the same time very much like any woodlands you would find now but still very ancient. There's a woman with a horn, the spiraling type a woman who is a Unicorn. She is accompanied by an ordinary looking short plump man and another woman who moves away from the scene. It then turns very sexual as the man induces sexual feelings in the human unicorn. The sensations are all very intense but strangely the act of stimulation here is so different to how sex is perceived today. It seems as if he was powering her up, there was no sense of lust. She has a few apples in her hands and begins to eat them.
They move along and somewhere in the distance there is a male unicorn observing and following them. His horn is bigger and has a smooth texture, no spiral. It's also long whereas  the female horn is shorter. He approaches the short man if he can join them, that he will protect the female unicorn. The short man walks off without saying anything as if he knew this plan all along.
Soon the male unicorn joined the female unicorn on an odyssey. At some point he reveals a structure that he designed and built for her. She seemed uninterested, completely uncaring but it seemed it was actually just her nature to be care free. One would think she was playing hard to get whilst he was chasing her endlessly hoping for some kind of acknowledgement. She sits down occasionally glancing at the structures. The structures are large round encircled whole lot of nothing, inside them are small round clay bowls. He tells her that they're not yet complete. Grabbing a shovel he dumps some earth into the structures, they begin to expand revealing more of his creations, then some more earth and it spins and things pop up from underground. The entire scene is rather magical yet his companion seems only mildly interested.

I wake up at this point. These dreams are amazingly vivid and cinematic I wish I could dream like this every night.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

A Dance We Go

I fell asleep after a while and then awakened at 5ish am. Last night I thought I would wake up with back pain as I decided to sleep on hard base of bed with makeshift mattress especially since I felt pain under ribs was from sleeping on bad mattress. However when I woke up had the best night sleep ever and I've heard sleeping on the floor, obviously on something soft, has helped people align spine hips etc

I attempted to relax simply letting go. Suddenly there was an awareness of a body. The arms were raised and it felt as if it was my arms but not arms from this reality. The arms began to move in a very eloquent way, each movement carefully thought out and both arms in sync. It was like my other experiences where I felt I had no possession over the body, something else was controlling it. As it moves I hear a male voice speaking "I am here. I am always with you." The arms begin to stroke the breasts of this body and raising sexual energy only it was not lustful but very sexually potent. I remember at some point because of the energy the right leg raising up, body entirely naked. I am a part of this Other, it's a blending. I feel like I am It and It is me but different, I didn't feel like I was the body or that I could even say it was mine, it was more like I was seated inside of it like a passenger in a car. So many other events taking place. In front of me I am viewing a screen of ancient Indian (Asian) dancers, focused on the woman in the middle a story unfolds.She is some kind of a spiritual woman, a shaman of sorts. The arms of what I perceived to be mine but controlled by It began to move as if to dance and the women in the screen all began to move in sync with this motion as if the arm motion was some kind of signal but simultaneously a part of that motion. Everything was connected, I felt in that motion I was the dance. Something about this was sacred.

I felt this is the deepest I have gone seeing that body in that state, it is getting more vivid.

Salvia Divinorum UK Ban

Before this session I read numerous articles about salvia being banned in the UK under new legislation which probably will go into effect May 2016. Click here for more about the ban

Around 9pm got the session started.
Deep meditative state concerned about the ban on Salvia they are aware of this and in a joking manner tell me that the pretend government and the pretend legislation cannot take away this meditative state nor my absorption into my true self. Pain on left side ribs aware of it as an energy. These pains are conceptual and not actual. Jk thoughts about his awakening, when his brother died this feeling of loss compelled him to ask questions to dive deep within himself. Sound constructs a way to delve deep into meditation had distiller running.

I've also felt for some time that I have to stop depending on Salvia to enter this state, it has become like a crutch.

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

A natural transition

Yesterday evening around 7pm I chewed small amount of Salvia, mostly crumbled remains.

Prior to chewing I set an intention and even spoke to the energies all around. Mostly all the beings that help to put the physical matter together creating this great illusion. I asked them to help me connect with the Creator, to unite with it and help me uncover the name of The One that is mentioned in several religious texts.

I knew I had to stop the body from moving, even a slight movement can break from going deep. There was an awareness of all the energies that composed the body, moving away and I was there joined with them. There was a dry sensation in my throat which I felt as some of the other beings inducing it, meaning making me feel as if  I need to cough and I gave in and coughed and they became even more aware of the 'me' physically focused.

I turned on led light on phone. Closed eyes and tried to continue with the meditation but had to remove the chewed leaves that were left in my mouth. 

Transitioning to that state felt completely natural that it was always this easy. I am always able to go to that state naturally and I felt that I did, all of it was so familiar it is our actual nature to be in that state.

I grabbed the phone and viewed an image of a person, it felt strangely alive what I mean by that is the image of this person was not just an image but an actual person moving. It was like the energies all around were controlling this image. There was a movement coming from the person in the image almost as if to turn around and look at me directly from their side view pose. I started to see the control of everything around. I am aware in some religions and cultures it is forbidden to make images and sculptors of people and suddenly understand why they did this.

Around me are the larger beings, they are encircling the bed and observing. I close eyes to go deeper, my feet and hands start to heat up, they felt like they were on fire. The sensation in the soles of the feet would cause a severe amount of pain had I not been in that state although a few times I was thinking of telling them to stop as it felt dangerous for the body.

Having had this happen before I knew I had to stay still to allow them to continue. This heat and incident was very much like another experience I had, New Clothes Psychic Surgery.

As I relaxed several sexual images popped up in my head as if to entice me to release the energy. I swatted all the images like annoying flies.

A more scientific perspective of why the hands and feet heated up like that could probably be that I had about 500mg of niacin, cayenne chilli pepper in soup and with the vasodilating effect of both niacin and salvia probably concentrated the heat in veins around hands and feet. However I felt the heat energy had some kind of healing effect.

Monday, 1 February 2016

Giving Thanks Before You Experience Eating

Salvia chewed just a small amount. Here are some notes from phone again will update with more details on each point later:

01/02/2016 around 3am could not sleep meditated with salvia
Master act of dying they're onto me
Fasting purpose is so that body is like the dead
Empty content bowels etc
Read book of dead
They're in the food
They're everywhere
That's why I'm so cautious of the germs from certain person
Sleep = playing dead
Now I understand why Jesus said eat at others whatever given can't hurt you
They are the food itself they are beings
Feeling of hunger
It's false
Put on by them I can feel they have combined their self to make me feel like a person a human
Smells sounds everything like this
They've induced hunger urge so much
Never felt this hungy
That's why certain food can be bad for some
But this is how Plato was able to survive cyanide
Could have survived anything want to feel food taste
Hunger of a pig
Now I know why pig prohibited
Could take characteristic of anything
Any animals
Any food has power to heal
Speak to it
Befriend them say command
Say move to a mountain
It will
I took on the consciousness of a pig LOL
After eating bacon
They prohibited because we take on the qualities of a pig
If I was permanently in that state there would be no hunger
Now I understand breatharianism
I'm living off ideas
As I typed on phone I felt the trillions of living beings that went into creating the illusion of my phone
That's an idea

Morning woke up feeling very feverish, body temperature almost 37 but not quite. I added iodine to some bacon after having the thought that it would increase body temp and has been working though I did have some cramps.

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Half Human Half God

I took the following notes whilst under the effects of Salvia on my phone device using app where I entered new lines so I'm adding the lines exactly as they appeared seems more clearer. Will do updates with notes when I have more time.

31/01/2016 around 7ish pm meditated with salvia
Have to lose my sense of being here now
My now and here stops me
It's our sense of me and now stops us
When we have no sense of ourselves he sees and knows we're  ready
Comes for us
Let go of it all
He is behind it
Has given us the power
He can end me now
I'm deep in that state
Where I'm aware of it
He's gonna forgive us all
But he knows all our wrong and right
Can't lie to them
They know all
The other humans are a part of the drama
Somehow they're in on it
I understand so much from the gospel
Will just read that
Now I know why he and his type get persecuted
Am I cheating with the leaf?
Actually is easy to be in this state
Let go of your sense of self, it's pretense
People I thought are just a part of a plot
Jesus was persecuted
I could see the people like this being labelled loony
When I am in that state I feel sorry for those trying to make it big
Get big and successful in the end you give up. No one takes it from you, you will literally give it up
Our attachment makes us forget
The entire world and people in misery why He not help them
He can but they need to recognize their actual true state
That's what will save them
Ones true state of being is the salvation

As I typed salvation on phone keypad suggestion for word Pharaoh kept popping up, was annoyed but then felt it was suggesting to me through the phone so I searched Pharaoh on google

"A Pharaoh was the most important and powerful person in the kingdom. He was the head of the government and high priest of every temple.The people of Egypt considered the pharaoh to be a half-man, half-god. The Pharaoh owned all of Egypt. Interesting fact. The ancient Egyptians did not refer to their Kings as Pharaohs."

That's exactly how I would describe the state I am in when in these meditations  half-human, half-god.

Saturday, 30 January 2016

It's Here

I was reading some hidden gospels after reading a news article. In particular the Gospel of Thomas struck a chord and correlated with some of my salvia experiences.

"113. They asked him: When is the kingdom coming? He replied, It is not coming in an easily observable manner. People will not be saying, "Look, it's over here" or "Look, it's over there." Rather, the kingdom of the father is already spread out on the earth and people aren't aware of it."

From The Gospel of Thomas

 In this verse you'll see that the disciples at that time had the thought that the "Kingdom" was some other place, you know heaven being in some other place etc.

I'll also add that even all the other so called worlds that people experience happen on this one plane.

I will soon add some references to some salvia experiences that relates to this.

"111. Jesus said: The earth and sky will roll up right in front of you. Anyone living from the living will not die. Doesn't Jesus say that the world is not worthy of one who finds himself?"

I've read of a few Salvia trips where reality rolls up.

 Here's an interesting verse from The Gospel of Philip ;
From the Gospel of Philip

"One single name is not uttered in the world, the name which the Father gave to the Son; it is the name above all things: the name of the Father. For the Son would not become Father unless he wore the name of the Father. Those who have this name know it, but they do not speak it. But those who do not have it do not know it."

The Sri Guru Granth Sahib is majorly focused on the name of the Lord, the naam. Interesting to see this correlation here.

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Understanding Pyramids with Salvia

Yesterday evening after watching first episode from documentary The Pyramid Code I chewed some salvia for some insight. I was also looking up Zoroastrianism a religion that existed 3500 years ago, this religion focuses on one creator much like many other religions however perhaps there is some similarity to Sikhism in particular writings from the sri guru granth sahib.
Salvia chewed but was momentarily interrupted continued chewing going deeper. I've managed to catch a cold from a virus going around. Going deep I couldn't remain still. Realised that I wasn't quite breathing needed to bring the breath back to clear throat and had to make a movement.
The others witnessed this and I felt some vein or something snapping. I realized I can command these others to cause certain changes. They were like many little beings composing the body but I view them in a microscopic close up form. Yet they can still be sensed also external from the body.
I remembered how after taking salvia I was able to eat certain foods that would normally cause a bad reaction. Salvia suppresses these bad reactions. Feeling and sensation of body was numb-like so much that you wouldn't feel aches and pains not even cold or hot temperatures, I could feel it but there was no effect from them meaning a cold wouldn't make the body shiver etc.
I got the sense that if I chewed next to someone or with them going into that deep state I could communicate with the beings that composed their body for a possible healing.

I awakened around 3am back to sleep by 5am. Arms and legs raising. Floating out of body feeling. Sexual arousal induced by presence nearby. Then at some point felt focused in the body. Feeling of hands touching arms. Then hand on head giving off electrical charge on top of head making the brain feel mushy. Felt like three beings around me. The touch of hand near head on occasions rested on my shoulders as if to comfort me.

Saturday, 16 January 2016


Chewed 1 ball of salvia leaves. It's important to chew it slowly and keep it in the mouth for the entire duration whereas before I was taking it out. Lights were off and quiet house. Less distractions. Darkness is also helping so I don't get distracted by movement in surroundings. When I went deep into meditation I had to write down notes on what was taking place. It was difficult, I used my tablet and it was misbehaving. The following is what I wrote unedited:

it's all up to them about health sups and advice all that it's determined by them need to let go of my relationship and connection with others they're not real like I'm pretend person character so are they all part of the play characters not allowed to tell this part to you. We're all in characte m who are we then really that is the question. Keyboard messing up a lot

Hand an shaky unbalanced they don't want me to write this. This is why they can kill me off and I know they've tried. Before. If these words make it I'm still alive otherwise...

Not allowed to wake the others they have to earn all those things written it is testing us.
They cause anxiety the kind where the pen slips out of your hand clumsily. They just stopped me from writing something important. I feel for those who get put in institutions for this.
They one it before me delete my posts.

In that state so difficult to attain. They give orders and commands everything up to them. Don't get emotionally attached to things and even people you have to give them over there in original state these things do not belong to us the people who wrote the sri guru granth sahib were writing about this state. I am in that state.

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Living as the Truth

At around 7pm I got chewing with the intention of meditating deeply. I have been feeling a little uneasy past few days though there is a lot more peace and quiet in house for me to meditate and in the coming weeks I intend to use salvia to meditate. Lights were off and room completely dark. Into that deep space I enter deeper and I feel energies around me. The chewed up salvia is still in my mouth but I remain still with eyes closed. My body has changed I can feel the energy around me has become stronger. Everything I've been pondering recently has become clearer as though it was all prepaved and in that moment I understood everything. The Truth is clear to me in this state, this state, this way of being is the Truth. So how is it we don't experience that? Why are we not in our True state, our actual way of being which is peaceful and wholesome? In that state I didn't need to ask this question, the insight was immediate. Our bodies are poisoned, this poisoning has caused an imbalance so much that it's malfunctioned. Because our bodies have become numb and malfunctioned we can't feel what is true, we live in falsehood. The infection started in our mind and has spread throughout the body. We have to free the body of pollution. I felt it, Truth was coursing through my veins.

I got the feeling that an elite group of some kind caused this. The idea was to pollute the mind and then the body in order to render it useless and I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories. I even got the feeling JFK was going to expose this to the masses or even sort it out hence why he was assassinated.

I've been watching a documentary on ancient civilizations. From the Mayans to Anasakis series is called Secret Worlds. These civilizations prospered for a period of time until something happens rather suddenly causing their downfall. I wondered why and made a connection. Each civilization would prosper well at least appear to prosper. However they soon would erect temples and buildings specifically for religious purposes often for worship. This would lead to deforestation, for the sake of these temples. Also it was a time when agriculture became popular and the way to farm. Temples would be built by stones which would have needed to be mined. This exposed people to a lot of heavy metals thereby changing people's behavior. Added to this the constant deforestation eventually led to the degradation of mankind because of the lack of oxygen.

Now if you fast forward to current day civilization where deforestation is occurring at an even more alarmingly rapid rate, water supplies heavily contaminated, as well as food supply and pollution from all kinds of sources you can see just how we have evolved as human beings. The world is spiralling into insanity, there is madness spread throughout the world already.

Going on a healing journey myself with iodine supplementation and health protocols has made it more apparent that the current human condition is a direct result of poisoning.

In that state something had a grip on the heart and I got the feeling one wrong move and the body will come to its end. At the same time I felt this danger there was also a feeling of being protected.

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Ancient Civilizations Vs Current Civilization

This is an entry from my iodine journal which I don't publish. I wanted to add it here because it feels like important information.

History and Geography were my most weakest subjects back in school, however I'm suddenly finding it all very interesting.

Yesterday new years day in evening had a severe niacin flush. Interestingly I was watching documentaries on ancient civilizations. They used to make temples or something to do with rocks, for a while the people would prosper but then something would go wrong wars would break out etc plus there was issue of deforestation for the sake of food in particular grain crops. For example the Mayans suddenly began to turn against each other becoming overly competitive. I have a feeling, a hunch that these people from ancient civilizations were toxic with heavy metals possibly from all the mining etc in order to build their temples. They were also lacking oxygen because of all the deforestation. This is why they couldn't think rationally which resulted in wars and people started to turn against their own tribes.

Now in today's day and age where there is hardly a tree in sight, grains being added heavily in the diet and buildings covering the entire face of earth and plenty more environmental damages than in the past what hope do we have for the future?

Back to the niacin flush, must have had around 300 or 400 mg niacin.  I went temporarily insane after documentaries, had stomach cramp feeling sick. I had to sit on floor near door where I was thrashing my head in the air. OMG I thought my head was exploding. I felt faint dizzy. I picked my head up and tried to remember how I ended up on the floor, lights were off. I felt like I lost memory of not only of my surroundings but I forgot who I was. Eventually mustered the energy to empty bowels caused by the flush. Got back in bed my face neck felt hot I started sweating drank some water and dosed off. Had the best night sleep ever, I want to flush again.

Today I felt energetic more cheerful. I've only taken smaller doses prior to this up to 175mg.

Friday, 1 January 2016

A Trick of the Mind

This morning I had a series of very vivid dreams that felt incredibly real packed with emotions. They did not feel like dreams because they took place in my bedroom setting and are very much like false awakenings. They were related to ghosts but not quite. Can't be sure if it was entities etc or what. Reminds me of my alien visitation experience.

I can't clearly recall all the dreams now but generally what happened was I would encounter a moving staring entity in my room or near my bed. Each time I would be afraid. Next to the bed I have a chair with some clothes hanging on it. In the dream it was replaced with an entity form staring at me and as I awakened it would convert to the chair and only then was I able to make the correlation.

As an ordinary person of this world reading this you would assume that the chair was the real actual thing and the entity was a figment of my imagination, a thing of a dream.

My experiences are making me question whether the chair is the actual real thing and if so what makes it more real than anything else.

Happy New Year xx