Friday, 29 April 2011

Astral Projection - Signs of Progress

Woke 5am - dozed off - woke again around 6am - too alert and too much energy - by 6:45am closed eyes drift off.

Suddenly in moving vehicle looking outside - looks local. Don't remember getting on bus. No body awareness - consciousness near or housed on bus looking out.

Things get very clear and the more awake I'm there the more scene dims out. Scene blacks out and I'm back in bed.

Slip in again - flung upwards in the sky. Near a tall dense building - at the top on forehead of building there is the word 'Just' - may be incomplete. Dim again and slip back in once more.

Now I am in water somewhere near a creek. Water flowing, pulsing and waving. Wonder if I think of seeing something would it appear - try it out but nothing. Back in bed.

This is a good start.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Astral Intentions Dream Alarm

I have put the intention through and trying to sleep earlier - did so the other day but yesterday retired late.

So far past two days sleep has been interrupted and I know it has to do with latest intention to AP - sort of like an internal alarm set up.

The other day woke up from a dream where I was near several rail tracks intertwined with a baby in my arms. I'm panicking because I could hear train in the distance and do not know which way to turn. Woke up but could not relax. Need to relax more - I feel my energy level has been too high which actually is a good thing especially helping out with several projects. I did slip into sleep dreamed lightly but woke up feeling aroused.

This morning dreamt about seeing my ex's uncle who was behaving unlike himself - cheerful, singing and playing with a baby in his arms. I am startled by the transformation in him and told him how he has changed. Go downstairs and through one open door seated around a table I spot my ex and quickly walk away before he sees me. An unfamiliar woman and girl walk up to me telling me about a note they've found - on the note 'I love you' is written 17 times (number possibly significant?). They tell me to open the folded part and inside I see my name written. I get very aware at this point but wake up too much until I'm back in bed. It was 5ish am - the perfect time to project. In the dark I could see the energy waving or pulsing. Needed to stay awake for at least 30 minutes but couldn't eyes just slipped close - open eyes and it's 6:15am - incredibly sexual arousal. Could not relax after this.

In order to project I need to sleep extra early, but I have been so busy lately that somehow I end up going to bed after midnight.

Hopefully by Saturday I'm sleeping earlier - my aim is to wake up by 4am maybe doing some physical activity if I am too awake by this time and then relaxing by 5am. Need to really get started on the handstands - there is some significance to this. Need to give more time to the kriyas as well as learning to let go to the movements.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Astral Projection

After a few journeying with Salvia, I'm understanding a little clearer what astral projecting is just not sure how to explain it or whether I've really understood it. So exploring with AP - need to sleep earlier - wake up earlier and project.

Why the Blindfold

I have been wondering why the 'others' have blindfolded me or why it is that I can't see with that clear perception anymore. The answer just came to me - in the other incidents there were several of these other entities (feels awkward calling them entities) that I managed to stretch away from my mind and I think it is since these experiences that the perception started closing (getting less vivid and more difficult to decipher). Each time I had done this, using mind stretch, there was this feeling of getting out of control - somehow what I was doing could be harmful at least not desirable for these 'others'. It was moments like these where I would quickly stop as I did not want them to know that I was deliberately doing it to explore further especially after I accidently discovered that I was able to do this.

Today I decided to give in to the movements that are present without taking Salvia - (this happens constantly, daily, every second most likely even when I'm sleeping). I followed the movements - the body wants to do a handstand. Not at all comfortable, but tried to do it against the wall and almost injured myself. Sat down on edge of bed and torso bending down from seating position out almost falling off, legs stretching out but stable so that I'm supported. Trusting and letting go - head upside down and I could hear and feel clicks near nasal and head. Something going on there - not sure what. Head swayed slowly building up tempo and there was this weight pulling head down.

Other experiences include hearing voices - not actual voices but that soft voice that at the same time is louder than all the sounds around me simply because it is the closest sound. So far twice when relaxed have heard my name being called, voice unfamiliar.

I have decided no more Salvia for a really long time with the exception of chewing experiment one last time to see if indeed I am still left in the dark. I have recently felt inspired to astral project - from today I'll be focusing on APing.

Friday, 22 April 2011

The Tornado Reenactment and Blindfolded

Yesterday at the funfair I had an urge to go on the tornado - I vowed not to get on any scary looking rides but the kiddie rides were getting boring.

Once I got off I never looked back - it was really surprisingly scary - I have been to bigger theme parks and thought the tornado is just a mini version of other bigger scary rides I've been on - I was clearly mistaken.

On the ride my head did some really weird somersaults - a lot of clicking and definitely something else going on in there.

Last night I wanted to smoke Salvia - but I wanted someone to be present. Youngest sister was there to babysit although I thought it was very unlikely that I was going to be moving about in a hallucination.

Half 10X extract leaf and half unaltered on pipe, did my best to pull but the burning sensation is unpleasant. Felt that fluttering - occured on the first pull. Closed my eyes but my sisters presence was not helping. They're there and I wondered if they moved in my flesh would my sister be able to see them - but there's no knowing where they're going to show up. One slightly moved in feet and I told my sister to keep an eye on my feet - but I guess she thought I was hallucinating and took no notice. Called it quits but after 5 mins I took the Salvia myself and relaxed - choked a few times.

Eyes keep watering when I smoke, breathing is mellowed - almost like it had completely stopped. The eye fluttering increasing rapidly. Went to sleep feeling tired.

Smoked this morning, eyes welled up and then the perception of them emerging. It looks as though they're gone up and round and whilst they're coming down it appears they are screaming (no actual sound - just visual). I know what they're doing - reenacting me on the tornado. I sure don't want to re-live that memory.

I smoked some more but eyes watering heavily - vision was getting very clear I could see them all in HD, so vivid and colored - not just perception - but actual images. Then a shadow slowly began to cloud my vision and I could feel someone deliberately blindfolding me. Vision impaired? Who? And why?

I started to feel both upset and angry. I think maybe smoking is definitely not for me. Maybe try one more time with chewed leaves to see if they really did blindfold me and find out why.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

When Sleeping

In the morning got Salvia ready - these were crumbled leaves and there's no way I'm smoking it so soaked them and scooped up with spoon - about 2-3 tablespoons. Crumbled leaves help better with chewing and very little was used.

Relaxed - awareness of them inside. So many of them hard to tell who's who - it's like a blend of everyone on this planet but these morning times are great because there's not as much commotion since people are most likely sleeping and so their energies too preoccupied with their activities especially of those in the house. Going deep - they're up to something I don't know what but they're waiting. I started to feel really sleepy, breathing pattern changed. Mouth closed and some other kind of airway was opened up. I know body has to be straight and keep arms by my side. I kept thinking how sleepy I was but at the same time felt their activity increase. They're definitely up to something. I go with the feeling of sleepiness and I can feel as they start to look over me confirming to each other that I am falling asleep so I play along. I know I can't stop myself from thinking so I occupy all thoughts on how sleepy I'm getting. I can't keep it up though - just couldn't help myself and with my mind stretch one of them away.

I quickly stop mind action - need to make them think I'm sleeping. I know when I go deeper into sleep they're preparing something but the body or me or whatever I am has to shut down or organized in a way so no damage is caused??

I am acting and behaving like someone else - some other thoughts unrelated occurring in the mind and then my thoughts - the thoughts of who my this personality / character is blending with that. I knew I shouldn't, I know I have to be quiet (this is how others hear foreign voices and start to think they're going crazy). I was basically a voice in someones head and I tried so hard to shut up. The others 'they' are there as well and I'm not sure how they're reacting but there is some commotion.

Now I know when sleeping this is what they and I get up to. The whole dreaming making sense. Dreams of others and sometimes just watching various scenes - all taking place or have taken place. It's common to dream that you are someone else or another version of yourself and then sometimes exactly you but in the most unlikely of circumstances.

At some point I recall going locally, in fact heading over sensing my neighbours builder (I think this work won't be over until next year). The builders energy pattern is very intrigued and observing. At this point I'm thinking what or where is my energy pattern - I am observing all those others in groups but what about me? I am not sensing it strongly unless I am a part of all the groups, maybe I just don't know it yet. The contact I'm feeling with this energy is very sexual, and I feel the urge for a fusion but it is so distracting. Later on in the day whilst gardening this same builder apologised for the noise pollution and I knew at that moment that it was his energy that visited in this Salvia session.

Visual dimmed and now hazy. Chew remaining Salvia and relax - look at hands to see if I can see the little people. None moving quite as much as the last time but there is a very intense pressure moving sensation in feet. Look at left feet by side where I feel most of the pressure - a face of a man moving in my flesh looking at me squeezing about and showing its ability to control and stretch my flesh. Now I understand all the fluttering, the spasms. I am seeing the whole Kundalini process in an entirely new dimension. Every single K symptom making sense and fits in this phenemona of the beings / entities in the flesh.

Monday, 18 April 2011

Killer Game and The Birds

Killer Game - Vivid dream
At first I heard this loud sound of someone breaking in, a man and loud footsteps but found myself in another place. I became aware of a man and woman at an unpopulated department store and they have no idea how they got there. Veiwing from a distance the store was like a maze. They both had guns with them and appeared frightened. Their keeping an eye out - whilst aware of this I think the woman should look out at one end and the man at another end so they are covering for each other. Somehow I feel the person they are frightened of will come out of the least expected place.

I hear a bang but don't know who got shot as my consciousness is moving out, now peering at a screen in a room full of others. They are watching the people with the guns and the other person a kind of professional hit man was trained by them (the observers) - they are in computer game animation and instead of looking human they now have the appearance of alien creatures. The entire scene is uploaded on the internet so that other people can watch only the game is live with actual people whose lives are at stake. The person they are hiding from is a trained professional and at one time he was like the other frightened people but he lived because he killed another professional - this time I think he got hit and the story will continue. Told a sister about this dream who informed me there's a movie with this storyline with some differences.

Awakened and whoa -sexual arousal. Opened eyes and there were glimmers or impressions of them - the others. This impression of them is very strong when waking up from sleep, only when I'm fully awake visuals of them are diminished. Fell asleep by relaxing.

The Birds - Very real False Awakening type of Dream
I'm in bed, thinking I have woken up. I feel the bed is higher up - hear flapping wings. Look towards window, top part wide open. Big hen or rooster like bird flying through window and landing on floor. I am alarmed but stay calm. It flies back out only needs to squeeze through window. Then lots of other birds flying in, particularly robins and these small type birds. In the garden there has been a lot of robins so I'm thinking maybe that had stimulated this dream.

Read about the robin totem and it's main message is about new growth - and that relates very clearly with the new growth I'm currently going through and there's another part of the message. Here's the full message of robin totem:

A Robin totem will stimulate new growth in all areas of your life.
Believe in yourself as you move forward.
Obstacles will fall by the wayside if you do and confrontations will be for show only.
This totem gives you the ability to will new growth into your life.
Meditate on Robin and the correct path will be revealed to you."

~ linsdomain

As far as the obstacles falling by the wayside goes - well no, not really - in fact they are blowing up directly in my face. I am at a stage in my life where I feel like the entire world is somehow against me.

Haven't been paying much attention to dreams lately but I know there are many dreams just too occupied to record dreams, even the one's that seem significant - already doing so much writing.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Scratch and Burn

Yesterday evening lots of family over for the easter holidays which means lots of noise but decided to retire early for a Salvia journey. It was impulsive but at the same time I wanted to understand energy systems and what better way then to do it with people I know around me. Just a short while before soaking leaves whilst chatting to sis my right arm had some deep vein pain.

10 mins left for soak time and I was starting to feel really sleepy - regretted soaking. Don't want to waste.

Lay down, eyes closed amazing how the noise starts exactly at the moment the leaves were ready for chewing - it all feels arranged. I remember to just forget the noise allow it as it happens.

Went deep. Knees bent and I could see them chomp at it so straighten it. I could feel them and see them with that other perception. Energies and understanding flooded from the garden. Have been occupied with gardening lately and also started reading The Old Testament out of interest. I understood by what power the prophets were able to do what they did - particularly the part about a certain prophet who was successful in the growing of crops. I will have to reread this part. Has to do with communion with certain Energies.

Everything was now dead quiet - background noise completely diminished - it all ended once again like a time before. No relatives, almost no thing animate and inanimate left but I still remembered them. Then something creeped in - a sound, no it was a scream remembered how I need to ignore it. I know that this is one of those deliberate distractions pulling me back to consensus reality, holding me like a prisoner. That scream occurred several times and managed to pull me back need to make sure all is okay - hope nobody is arguing or fighting which tends to occur here once in a while or someone just dropped dead. Actually it was more like the world that I know was ending and that scream was a sign. Seeing that all was okay I was agitated that I just had to react.

Lamp is on I look at arm and those that compose the physical body are moving - I look at duvet and see a crawling bug. With spring, bugs are starting to appear around my room - this bug looked different. Though I can see faces moving on my duvet I kept my eye on the bug - it stretched and lifted up and it was alive so I asked what it wanted and requested it leaves my room - to go out. Upon closer observation realized it was a bit of the leaves and they or it was moving and was used as an eye for them to look at me. My left arm under duvet was stroked and pinched and I thought there has to be some bugs there - after looking I knew it was the beings in the hand and arm and that creepy crawly feeling that is common for those undergoing Kundalini process was due to them - the little people of the body.

Chewed one more and closed eyes, some other energy has come forth and my perception is a little hazy now. I'm going deeper, body and mostly arms in a lot of pain - that previous pain intensifying.

Before I mention what happened next yesterday before Salvia in the afternoon my rectum and vagina was burning like crazy, the same kind of sensation you get on tongue after eating chili.

I am going deeper into the experience and being taken somewhere but it is so hazy I have no idea what is really going on. Then I feel that I'm being cut within and suddenly there is this sharp unbearable pain in vagina like dangerous blades cutting in, scratching and scraping. It's almost as though they are testing my tolerance for pain. I don't care if I fail and demand they stop. It takes some getting through to them but I think they only did stop because I switched on the lamp and forced myself out of that state.

After a while I wanted to understand what they were doing and was certain that there would be a change of scene but again that sharpness plunging inside. Again forcing myself out I had a few ideas either it is the remnants of previous burning chili hot sensation or it was something else. The latter proved to be more likely as I walked up the stairs after peeing and bumped in to my niece (teenager with severe attitude issues). It clicked, my niece has a particular health issue (mostly due to fizzy toxic drinks and the worst diet imaginable) where she has this unbearable female troubles - hot burning sensation and a pain that she can barely describe and I think I felt her health issue.

Questions arise. Why make me feel this pain? Who made me feel it - her energy group or something else? maybe something I'm not understanding. Even if it were pleasure the same question would be asked and I have experienced that in Collecting Sexual Energy. Niece did tell me the pain was slowly starting again when she arrived here and I think there's a possibility that when going in that state and at the same time aware of your physical body others pain blends in the flesh. Maybe it is also possible for emotions to be picked up in this state.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Lots of Updates

I have been writing down a lot of my experiences in a notebook as it's easier than waiting till later and relaying everything here - the time lapse between experience and relaying is very important and yet even later upon recall I realize a few essentials get missed out.

The previous experiences that I have not written about took place between 5th March and 13th April. I'll be posting a few at a time in the next few days - there's over 10 new posts.

Friday, 8 April 2011

The Movements

Last night after an exhausting day retired to bed late and hands started to jolt several times and then I fell into deep sleep. In the middle of sleep awakened by body reactions - coughing deeply and a feeling of suffocating possibly sleep apnea and doing something I can't quite recall, the entire procedure was like being possessed.

That energy wave sensation is still there and if I remain still it moves the physical body without any input on my part but I still have control so if it tries to make me fall I can balance myself.

I haven't stopped completely exploring with Salvia but I think the time is near where that has to come to an end. I don't get that urge, the pull to ingest this as much as before. Despite this I have been exploring - a few times ingested simply because I was frustrated and wanted some kind of understanding and reached out for Salvia - now I just want to finish off the remaining leaves so I can be done with it.

From the 29th April 2011 to 7th May 2011 I will be exploring with Salvia as during this time there is going to be a peaceful atmosphere in the house. After this period I think that will be the end of it.