Autumn Winter Deep Spiritual Sojourn

 I am preparing now for winter period and being in a northern climate now is perfect time for deep dreaming and explorations.

I will be focusing on the following during this time:

Vivid dreaming - Jungian dream analysis 

Lucid dreaming 

Astral projection / OBEs

Remote viewing 

Karmic healing 

Biohacking 

Astrohacking

I'm always biohacking, no matter what season this I'll always practice.

Hello 2024 - biohacks, astro knowledge, third eye opening and more

So I started this New Year with a bit of a bump on the road. There was an incident. A virus escaped. A lot of people died. The trouble was, they didn't stay dead. Okay just kidding guys lol. The flu wasn't that bad but almost did wipe me out. Doing a lot better now, trying to be good and kind to my body, eating as healthy as I can.

I put my biohacks on pause from winter period simply because just wanted to have a break from pill popping and tried my utmost best on incorporating more healing foods. 

This year my intention is to adapt to a diet that is about 90% healthy as right now it's in the range of 60-70%. I think the focus should not be simply on foods but how a person eats too. Taking into consideration times to eat, what to eat and how to eat. Example chop food up and chew until it turns into a smoothie in your mouth. 

I think there should also be an emphasis on various healing practices like yoga, pranayama breathing techniques etc. So I'll be doing more of this.

I'm going to be using hemisync too. I always seem lose track when doing the program. Need to find ways to make sure I utilize these practices. It's difficult when you have so little time. 

My dreams past two days are on another level, feel like I am waking up in other peoples lives or different realities, too real to not be real. Often I wake up sensing the importance of the dream.

Example of a dream: There is an incident everyone was running looking up at the sky announcing that the sun is going to fall, later some mythical elephant and shark like creatures are frozen in ice. It would seem many eons later those same creatures were defrosting and coming back to life. The elephant was pulled up by some invisible force, not much recall after that but I woke up feeling like this acutally happened in some past existence. It's the feelings that come with the dreams that are more profound than the events.

Another dream which occured in this mornings second sleep phase was incredibly vivid. I was surrounded by a group of ethiopian women standing. I was lying down on a bed. I try to convince them of their special abilities with a focus on their third eyes. I tell them that the artwork based on them depicting big eye on middle of forehead is no creative endeavour, it is literally telling them about their powers. However it doesn't work and they slowly creep up closer to me, I close my eyes knowing there's not more I can do and then feel the sensation of the knife against left side of my head. 

These do not feel like ordinary dreams, or maybe they are and because of the lucidity and vivid experience it feels almost the same as reality. Some days I cannot recall anything but will be keeping tranck. 

Whilst I had the flu I slept around 20 hours yet barely had any dream recall. The sleep at this time was definitely healing. 

I'll try to keep this blog updated.

Hearing Voices and Mind Scare Tactics

Relaxed 6ish am, passing airplane, right ear drum vibrating, blackboard scratching sensation making me hold onto myself tightly. Calmer. Hearing voices, mostly male and foreign languages. I remember Slavic languages, Russian, Chinese and other unfamiliar. Did not understand any of it. No English.

Few times was aware of room, chair with jacket and observed it looked more up in the air seemed like it could morph into body but trying to remember my room features stopped me from being afraid. Sleep Paralysis type of fear incidences could be pure imagination, our fear gives the power to channel imagination in fearful direction. I remember staring at chair with jacket hanging could have morphed into grim reaper or some other scary form. Why the fear? Possibly being in a space of unknowns and body goes into fight or flight mode.

The voices were a lot clearer than my past experiences, that blackboard scratching effect was incredibly strong but managed to overcome it. I have noticed this seems to be linked with the airplane sound.

Some might view this as a clairaudient experience. I think it could be linked with past memories and if we do have past lives something picked up from there. I have been thinking about memory and how this plays a role in our everyday living.

I did also think what I usually think when this happens, that the brain is an antenna and I simply tuned into a radio station which could be the people on the airplane speaking in foreign languages.

"Scientists, in recent years, are finding that the Earth's magnetic fields are far more significant than they previously thought. They now know that the human brain contains millions of tiny magnetic particles. These particles connect us to the Earths magnetic field in a powerful way as a human antenna. We are both transmitters and receivers of subtle energy, or consciousness; a timeless interconnectedness that somehow encompasses the very foundation of our life."

- http://www.carliniinstitute.com/

An Update of Current State of Affairs

I think an update is due since I've hardly posted anything recently although I've been saving drafts of dream events that I did not feel like publishing.

I have been writing for many years on this blog which began when I decided to migrate away from certain interests which included astral projection / obe and delve deeper into more meaningful things like 'who am I', 'what am I doing here', 'what is this world', 'who created it' and so on.

Did I mention that I had an encounter with God? I'm sure it's somewhere in one of my older posts. The several encounters I've had always pops up, deeply ingrained in my memory incidents that I will never forget.

I've never really believed in God although the idea was always appealing especially in times of crisis because the alternative is I am completely alone and helpless.

Just to debrief, my encounters with God occurred during taking stimulants and in altered states of awareness (usually at some point sleeping mode). The most profound encounter was when I had mj and another when I had red wine, both experiences were very similar. I've also read about euphoric experiences after taking such stimulants but nothing quite so similar. I recall plugging the ears and having some songs playing. It happened suddenly when a feeling so foreign yet so desirable started to slowly creep up on me. As the song began to play my body was part possessed, the movements were incredibly delicate, really soft and gentle, absolutely loving and delightful - not at all romantic.

With each song the feelings were amplifying. I had listened to these songs for a long time and only in that moment I understood where the inspiration came from and what it all meant. Each song was a communication to me, to all and it was all about love. Not romantic love, not even the kind of love one has friends or family but actual, real, true love. I felt something like this during a liver flush incident which Salvia played a part with (way back when I was trying to detox, liver flushing produced a very euphoric high which felt like a deep abiding love all over), but that was love that I was feeling externally and it was just as powerful.

This was inner love, and I'm sure I could have exploded if it were not for the other presence. I simply call it God because that is how I identified it as, the one that created me, the earth and all others.

My eyes were scanning the room at some point and God, Master, Lord, Universal Intelligence or whatever you want to call it was observing my room having no particular opinion about it just taking in everything. It's glance was soft and my entire experience was akin to devotion. This was actual devotional worshiping.

But here's the really unusual part, I wasn't being devotional or worshiping this presence, instead I was being worshiped and the other was devoting itself to me carrying all the messages of love. Love is big, huge it's no wonder why it's impregnated in almost all songs. I never really got a chance to express even an iota of the love expressed towards me because I had become complete putty in the presence of this other. The encounters were like a reunion.

At some point however, I felt some of the words were exactly what I would have wanted to say in return. Almost like reversing roles. In many religious text especially Guru Granth Sahib there is the role of the disciple and master or servant and the lord. This was very much like that.

This must have taken place several months ago and since then it has not faded from my mind and it has not happened again at least not with that intensity - I now generally just get a buzz or slightly tipsy from wine but that's about it.

Started reading Anastasia Ringing Cedars Series again, the books touches upon life, God and everything about a persons existence. I absolutely love these books and do believe most everything written in these books.

A very tiny part of me seems to be skeptical about the experience but a bigger part of me is convinced about my encounters and though they don't seem like enough and I should get more proof before I decide that I have not lost my sanity. I won't deny that there are other explanations other than that I had an encounter with the Creator of life.

One thing I cannot deny is the feeling that came about during the encounter. There is nothing like it with which I can compare it to nor do I recall ever feeling this way except during the liver flush. This feeling which I can only call love is central to peace, harmony and joy. This is absolutely what is lacking in everyone, it is this quality alone that could end all wars.

You can probably hallucinate gods, demons, angels and monsters but not love. I have been pondering for a while and this suspicion has been with me since my liver flush, that what blocks this feeling is a poisoned body. We currently live in a very poisoned world, pollution, climate change, deforestation and so much crap in our food. We're so busy carrying out so many meaningless task that we don't have time to question how and why we're here instead we are constantly trying to just survive.

So what I am currently focused on is healing of the body and mind and trying to put my theory to the test. I'm hoping to do another detox soon and I'll be playing around with nutrition.

There's also a phenomena I want to learn more about where I could come out of a dream vision and be back in my room (happens during dream like state) and see that the dream vision is simply morphing back into my current reality. Only way I can explore this is by being more aware in my sleep state during dreaming and just as I am coming out of these dreams.

Life is but a dream

Last night angry once again looking for closure from a relationship. Drank two glasses of wine to calm down. Slept late but awoke around 2am back asleep again at 4ish am. There was a half moon (filling from left side). Recently I have been blacking out room but decided to let moonlight slip in since this was natural light and not yet completely visible to me rather moonlight falling on other side of room. Mind too occupied I began taking deep breaths and felt intense sensations in middle of forehead  (third eye). I saw geometric spiraling and vibrating patterns and other shadow movements. At some point it seemed like lights were flashing as though flashing a torch right next to me.

Relaxed and soon I was in a dream scene with similar people and relationships. In one scene I'm at home awake in bed grab phone beside me and I start to play something. Phone slips out of my hand. I feel like I'm slowly losing consciousness but can't recall what I had. I felt so alert awake and like myself even though losing consciousness. I am on a sofa feeling like I am paralysed. Mum walks in, she looks like mum in reality but slightly different. She tells me how certain furniture was moved and mentioning her brothers name. I repeat the name which is same one in reality. I say I need to tell her something, how I can't see properly can't move losing consciousness and it could be I took some drugs. Then I get a glimpse of hands covering my mouth. Mother trying to smother me to death! Struggle a little, soon as hand raises up it looks like my right arm. The suffocating stops and I see a man to my right running towards me seems like he's about to attack me. I go in to fight or flight mode. In this moment I realize life is like a dream and I start to sing "life is but a dream". I emerge out of my slumber no longer caged in one dream scene. There are more scenes. I am free. I roam and enter into each scene with no directions. I am greeting all characters in each scene. I feel a deep sense of joy with this dream. In one scene looks like a kids play area. I see their toys. These toys have come to life some of them could be like Alice in Wonderland. I greet everyone and communicate. The characters are cheering me on and gravitating towards me. Like a large family. And the whole time its like I'm me there but I'm just more there than I am here. I'm more acclimated to the scene and characters there. Almost like this reality here is just another scene but only a lot more vivid here right now as I write this. Those dream scenes became the foreground and this reality was some where in the background.

This was an amazing experience, felt like it was more than just a dream or even astral projection.

Unrecallable Trips

After 3ish am attempted sleeping. I ate pretty late, had beef kebabs - beef are loaded with many B vitamins so I thought maybe it will induce more dreaming as it has done so when I'd eaten lamb chops during one evening.

I relaxed as much as I could and suddenly many things began taking place rapidly, so much that I can't recall most of it right now. I was definitely in another place and was able to change my surroundings at will. It was a really intense experience and I mostly remember wanting to be able to recall it.

There was a moment where it was almost like nothing was around me and I was nowhere, that's the only way I could describe it.

UPDATE: Some parts recalled, there were songs being sung in the hindi language, love songs. I recall feeling it with my entire being and feeling cheerful and in awe with how the songs words were being chuned out from within my own knowledge of language. Almost like the feeling of love being interpreted by words that I know. Can anyone think of words that they don't know and make these words make sense.

Shadow beings behind closed eyelids after taking 5-htp

After taking some 5-htp (200mg) I had Salvia like trip, where I witnessed shadow beings. When I use the term shadow beings I'm not quiet referring to shadow beings witnessed in the room like at the edge of the bed (which I've witnessed before) or coming through the door and the shadow beings that wear hats.

These beings are literally inside my eyelids as if they are a part of it yet at the same time they appear as if outside, separate from my eyelids.

There were pineal gland sensations, a horrible headache often reported with the use of 5-htp. It's interesting that I'm having similar experience as  I had with salvia taking a supplement.

I felt something was exploding in my brain. Just relaxed and dosed off to sleep with all the movements. Their movements were inducing the sensations. I felt like this vision of seeing shadows is almost like being color blind, I could see them in different dark shades but hardly ever color.

Just recalling an old salvia experience where at first I had witnessed the shadows, then some sensations occurred in the brain and other things. After that suddenly the shadows were in full color.

Contact with Actual Person in Real Dream Like State

Ok so these experiences are so absolutely crazy and freaky. Lots of panicking going on because of these types of experiences but still intriguing.

I awoke around 1:40am and for next few hours just focused on washing some dishes left behind and various other cleaning till I felt sleepy. It was much later around 5 am when I decided to just relax but just before getting into bed I had taken a concoction. Niacin, b complex, inositol and l-theanine powders mixed in water (the dosage varied for each).

It was easy enough to let go and let sleep kick in. I suddenly opened my eyes, vision was blurry at first just like when you wake up from a long sleep. I'm trying to make sense of my surrounding because I do have a very drowsy feeling still. When there was some clarity with my vision, I noticed that I was with someone I'm only seeing briefly. I don't really see him properly but sense he is on the other side of the room and I cannot turn my head to look at him, can't recall if this was due to paralysis. Then it seemed he left for a moment but there was a young man just at the edge of the bed and when I looked at him he looked back and slowly started approaching me. I get this unusual sense that he has some kind of sexual malicious intent because the other person I knew had left the room. Naturally I panic and with all my force try to snap out of it.

Back in bed (reality). I calm down thinking it was just one those crazy realistic dreams or sleep paralysis nightmare. I close my eyes again and this time I keep my body slightly turned to the left and now I see the person I am acquainted with and am shocked he is there in such vividness as if he were really there and I was there with all my current mental faculties in absolute shock. I kept wondering in my mind how he was able to be there.

He seems different, more confident, stronger yet dark and controlling. He begins talking to me and I hear his words clearly. After this the experience turns very sexual and soon enough I awaken. I kept thinking either it was actually him, in his spirit form or something and then I thought it could be those wild beings I encountered taking on the forms of people I know. And of course then there's that theory that it was actually just a dream, a very intensely vivid dream.

Morning Full Song In My Head

This morning I awakened around 4am, unusual things going on yesterday possibly due to extreme heatwave. I feel I'm being challenged in some ways. People that I've been trying to erase and move out of my life popping back in. So much influence and control need to be really strong so I'm not sucked back in. I do believe that some people have the ability to drain your energy.

The reason why I mention this is because I think the song in my head was a song being listened to by one of the person contacting me yesterday. At first the song seemed to be in his language but it took on a different style and accent that I was sure I was listening to something different. I also had the feeling that he was listening to it at the time and then there was that feeling of the body being used by a higher power tuning into different frequencies.

This is the same higher power I am communicating with, when I asked if song was coming from it my head nodded in the affirmative.

You know when you're sleeping it takes over and very rarely you get to catch it in action using the body in so many amazing ways.

Recent deep meditations making me want to write an explanation of the Bhagavad Gita (The Song of the Lord) but a remix version by writing it in a way that can be understood by the 21st Century modern day lay person. Because the time when the Bhagavad Gita came out was way different then todays day and age. In each age these teachings need to be explained and communicated in a different way so as to get through to current day people. I've discovered some very important things whilst reading Bhagavad Gita and going into deep meditation such as the evenness of the breath and how food and thoughts shape the personality and characteristic qualities of a person which the Bhagavad Gita refers to as a person's nature.

I don't see it as my responsibility to help people discover the things I am discovering in my own journey, however I feel very much inclined to do this. At the same time I'm noticing the distractions of ordinary living and this is the challenge. Already people trying to divert my attention.

Questions and Answers with My Head

My head moves on it's own, my body very floppy lately - it almost feels like something else wearing me but not being able to control movements 100%. I should be alarmed as I know there are a few physical conditions with body moving like this as a symptom except when I ask it questions there's a response from the movements and it's all so very intelligent, they are not like spasms or sudden jolts. Sometimes it's very dance like swaying which I've read is common with Kundalini Awakenings.

Recently I got advice from it. The details I got are very interesting and they are about life, about where I'm headed and where I should go. Whether or not I should do something. When I go out now whenever I can do it without anyone looking at me I ask it before I take a particular direction.

I jotted it all down to see if it does all come true or I'm just insane...

Brain Activity In Sleep

Last night as I tried to sleep neighbors hallway light seeping through window. Adjusted blind so room was almost pitch black. I relaxed with movements present, most were sensual. Sexual energy was definitely high but I was completely nonreactive to it. There were a few moments of being startled with head jerking in several directions. I get this sense that as I relax there is some activity going on in the brain but it feels like there are others inducing it, almost can feel like being possessed.

This time relaxing rather than sleep I kept myself alert to any changes, however sleep was beckoning and I almost gave in only to be alerted to a sound produced inside the brain like a tv channel white noise type of sound. It was much like this:

It reminded me of a particular experience and another experience that helped form some of my thoughts and impressions regarding it.

I will attempt to observe this each time I try to relax for sleep, making sure that the room is pitch black and also retiring to bed a bit earlier.

Ordinary Sounds Converting to Musicals

I woke up early again today around 4:30 which seems to be something that will be happening throughout the winter period.

By 6 I closed eyes and tried my best to relax. Dosing off I can hear a sound coming from across the street. Heard a machinery type sound so I'm guess something was operating, it felt strangely loud this time maybe because I was more relaxed. The sound seemed to be coming from something that was taking place outside. Slowly the more I relaxed it changed, sounded like a kind of calling in a very singing choir like tone.

This reminded me of a visual experience I had of certain beings where upon coming back I noticed how a part of the table beside the bed could have very likely distorted in order to form what I was viewing. This morning incident seemed to be happening with sounds.

Some thoughts are just clicking in my head and now I have to ramble.

If what I'm seeing or hearing is a conversion of something, then what is the original thing that it is converted from. In other words if the visuals and auditory hallucinations I get are just a conversion of what is consensus reality, then what is consensus reality? If what plays off consensus reality is hallucinatory in nature, I feel the same applies for consensus reality. It makes perfect sense to me.

If memory serves me correctly Advaita Vedanta explains that reality is neither real nor unreal. I think this simply means that on one hand whilst everything appears real and does take place it is also not real. All of reality is subject to change, there is evidently the outward constant change. I am referring to the constant change that happens every moment.

I recall reading something by Krishnamurti, it went something along the lines of 'there's nothing, but that nothing is everything'.

The Silent Watcher

Last night slept late exhausted conked out instantly. I have been sweating a lot past few days in sleep may be as a result of the weather change, exchanged duvet for something lighter - no sweating which may have helped me have a really relaxed sleep.

Before I write about last nights experience there was another experience on Sat 1st April. Early morning I had the perception someone was sitting to my right side on bed, communicating with me. Their form was changing. In the midst of this there was something magnetic swooshing about from out of the physical body which I was aware of, felt like another light yet solid body coming out of this physical body.

Eventually the form that was sitting beside me changed to the form of my sister and for a moment I thought it was my form. Sis was on holiday and due to arrive that afternoon, realizing this the form slowly disappeared but I was amazed and startled how solid and vivid the form looked. Perception dimmed and snapped out of the trance.

Last night or perhaps early morning  not sure what time, but it was still dark out at that time. In a scene a woman or a genderless looking person was kissing me innocently. The feel of it was very solid, suddenly the kiss became sensual and it was a little too real, again like in other experience I was startled. Then a face started to appear, almost looked drawn out. I had an experience similar to this in the past which is in a journal entry on this blog, can't find it right now. In the experience there were two faces of young men looking down at me whilst moving about and calling an elder over urgently. I was seeing them through closed eyelids, it was like they were on the ceiling looking down at me but at the same time they were a part of the closed eyelids coming through the flesh, very close.

This mornings face wasn't a familiar face, his eyes deep and penetrating. He remained absolutely still. I simply stared back not really trying to make sense from it just curious.

Can't recall what happened beyond this.

Another experience I had recently, felt like my body was having sexual intercourse and I was certain there was a couple somewhere and somehow my body had become an antenna where it picks up these motions and sensory perception. I am not entirely convinced but it seems to make sense since I have had experiences where I had found my awareness embedded in areas of other bodies.

Forehead pulsing something being done here.

Levitation

Woke at 3:15am. From yesterday I have been having digestive issues, some cramps present, sharp pains in what I think may be the kidneys, the cramping tightening were present when I awoke. Did a bit of studying since it was hard to fall asleep - eventually when I did doze off I could still feel the cramps. Still awake and alert I felt I was rising got a clear look around and realized that I was probably about 3 to 4 feet above my bed. Closed eyes wanting to remain there but I could still feel cramping and what felt like my bowels opening. Opened eyes again still wondering if I was in some astral from or actually physically levitating - I was more certain of the latter. I felt very solid. There was some sexual urges present. Mother nature was calling - had to empty bowel or something would explode. Slowly the body was settling back down on the bed. When I opened eyes fully some kind of wave was pulsing in my head. I was disappointed not being able to explore this state further, it was unlike an astral projection experience but I can't be certain that it was definitely physical body that was levitating.

Sweet Song explains Misery

Last night I was quite miserable, feeling lonely on a planet filled with 7 billion people. The feelings just came suddenly without pondering how alone I really was. And now even though I see faces everywhere and I know that this entire universe is made of combination of all kinds of living entities I feel even lonelier.

I pretty much cried to sleep unable to even recall the incident.

Woke at 3ish am completing a few chores, back to bed falling asleep I at some stage heard a light snore perhaps heavy breathing. Then I knew body was asleep but felt very much awake with new body. I was located in my room or a room somehwere and then heard the song 'Ishq Bina' and was excited. It was incredible because I was humming to the same song only 3 days ago I don't think I even selected the song it just came to my mind all of a sudden. Then hearing it this morning and then trying to remember all the words and translating them it seems that the message arrived with excellent timing.

General Update

Extraordinary phenomenas are becoming extra ordinary, so much that I barely take note of these incidents.

As I wrote in my previous post I do not get interrupted in the middle of sleep anymore which really is a good thing but only downside being that I don't get that many opportunities to project and broken sleep had helped in the past, then again I really haven't been bothered - too preoccupied.

However upon waking up in the mornings there is that same energy all around vibrating, pulsating and moving and it is at these moments or when I am relaxing that the energy is intense. This energy vibe goes on 24 hours and is right now fluttering in peripheral vision and if I stay still for a while it amplifies.

Haven't meditated for like ever. It feels impossible I don't know if it is because I just have too much going on right now but I hope to start adding in some time for meditation.

Haven't dared touch Salvia for some time and the thought of doing a session had crossed my mind 2 or 3 times, the timing did not feel right.

Lately I have needed to seriously loosen the physical body and have been dancing a lot - got to a point where if I didn't dance I would become so miserable, and the thought of dancing lifted up my mood as well as some chocolate. Sometimes in the middle of dancing I would pause and remain still where I allow some of the involuntary movements - the body would move as if still dancing but not under my control - something else is definitely controlling these movements, the parts of the body? souls/spirits? energies? honestly I am clueless in this regard however I don't mind it at all - in fact I know I have to do this 'allow 'it' to move the body' as often as I can almost like I have to let it run it's course.

The "High-Light" of Life

After my previous Salvia session I was extremely hungry - my mind was rampant with everything I could possibly eat, but I ended up sleeping on it.

Woke up 4am and I ate a vege soup with some rice - I never ever eat at this time but I think I was feeling metaphorically empty and translated that as hunger.

Back in bed tried to relax several times until at some point I witnessed a red light in the screen of my closed eye lids. I thought maybe I left the salt lamp on which has a red ambient glow but it was turned off. I looked to my right and it seemed wherever my gaze fell this red light was there and I saw faces of several beings. Closed my eyes not paying much attention. Some movement briefly took place in the ear canals and I started to hear an inner voice making some kind of sound - pronouncing words in an unspoken language yet there was an echo.

I continued to relax fell into a dream that was similar to circumstances that took place yesterday. Had to clean cat poop from my garden which I was pissed off about. In the dream I see poop on one side of the garden my reaction is a little different - I solved this same problem on the other side and now I just need to implement same solution here. I go in the house, brothers cat runs out and I stamp my feet expressing some agitation cursing the cat. She pisses on the side of the tiles avoiding the plants - I feel bad and at the same time amazed that she listened to me.

I continue playing out other scenarios related to this physical existence. Then I realize that there is a voice narrating a story - I was all this time living the story as it was being told. The voice in unspoken words carried on - telling me about the many lives it had lived until it eventually got to a point where through some process it ended everything - meaning all it's worries and all of that pertaining to earthly existence. It told me that a being emerged - as this happened there was a faint glowing light getting brighter right before me. Like a blossoming flower it was unfolding and there were showers of light, I was heavily transfixed on each droplet. It was so beautiful I almost burst into tears but held it back intrigued with this story. But there was only so much I could hold back, I turned away and opened my physical eyes and then finally allowing the tears to flow out. Never have I witnessed anything so beautiful....

There were several sparks of brain orgasms as I opened eyes. The voice was faintly there and finally I recognised the narrator of this story. It was some version of my Self, the light being was a version of my Self and I am a version of this same Self.

Self-enquiry

Have been reading a lot of material on Ramana Maharishi - though I had read about the method of self-enquiry I never quite understood it - it all seemed so trivial to me. However, I focused on simply observing any thoughts that came but this did not last long. Only recently I have been so drawn to his teachings that when I read thoroughly how to go about self-enquiry I couldn't believe how something that is now so simple was once so trivial. The method could be summed up in one sentence. Follow the 'I' thought back to its source simply by asking 'who am I?' each time a thought arises. According to Maharishi the 'I' thought is the root of all thoughts - past few days from personal observation on thoughts I have found that the 'I' is indeed the root of all thoughts.

Past few days enquiring has been so easy that the question has started to arise naturally with the majority of thoughts that pop up so much that I wake up from sleep questioning 'who am I?'

Another thing that has occured is that dreams have become more vivid yet they are completely irrelevant to the quest for Self. Last night as I fell asleep something appeared pierced in the field of vision - a black hole and I was able to see a familiar face, carried on with self-enquiry focusing on the feeling of 'I'. Entered a normal dream state and from there became steadily lucid and asking the questions in the intervals.

Faith and Commands

I have been just pondering now, faith and how it applies to everything.

So what is faith? Faith is when there's no doubt. We have great faith when moving the body. There is a command to move the arm and instantly according to what speed you require arm moves. I want to raise my arm and there is no doubt that I can move it.

Have you noticed when moving your body the commands are so fast you're not even aware just when you thought to move it or the specifics of that thought (meaning direction and speed of movement). And if you stop for a while to recall the thought which really was the command to move an arm or anything else it would be hard to capture it fully.

Perhaps the only reason why we cannot move mountains is simply because we don't have as much faith in the possibility of that as we do in the movement of our bodies. We have absolute faith in body movement and that same absolute faith is necessary for other external changes.

There are the other commands, the commands which result in spontaneous movement. In my case since exploring with Salvia spontaneous movements have increased to a greater degree. If I let go, the movements occur and the more relaxed I am the more stronger I can feel them. Recently there have been hip movements and turning around almost being directed to go in circles. I wonder whose commands are these, higher self? God?

I know it is possible to do things that would be considered a miracle here - but in that other place that is seen with that other perception there is nothing to it.

I want to try a few experiments on this but cannot until I've grasped exactly the commands that I'm using now. Like right now I'm using all sorts of commands, firstly the brain was programmed a long time ago with touch typing skill, so I'm using that skill. There are the secondary mind audible thoughts (voice in head) thinking each word to be written. Very complex stuff going on just writing this down.

Lots of Updates

I have been writing down a lot of my experiences in a notebook as it's easier than waiting till later and relaying everything here - the time lapse between experience and relaying is very important and yet even later upon recall I realize a few essentials get missed out.

The previous experiences that I have not written about took place between 5th March and 13th April. I'll be posting a few at a time in the next few days - there's over 10 new posts.