Saturday, 26 December 2015

Christmas Day Full Moon with Salvia

Christmas day I fasted, drinking only water and relaxing. I wanted to fast mostly because of the full moon and after reading the Guru Granth Sahib where in several passages it mentions the lunar cycle, something which I plan to follow and try to understand, try to gather insights whilst on Salvia. In the Guru Granth Sahib there is mention of devoting oneself to the Lord (Creator), and meditating on the name of the Lord which is only given to a person through a Guru. There are also mentions of Saints. According to this scripture the Creator awakens the individual that can keep their focus solely on the name of the Lord. The way I understand it is that this name is like a signal, a call which the creator responds to.

So my intention was to receive this name in order to remain awake. Through Salvia and a process that has been taking place in my body I've tasted the wakeful state, where no fear exists and an understanding of everything is attained where all conflict ceases to have any place but it's very temporary.

Chewed soaked Salvia leaves thoroughly in the evening, something again about it initially feels so different. I think the difference is that I don't get the fluttering that was my biggest clue of it working and usually that's when I would naturally try to relax more. The initial transitioning effects such as fluttering vision and body numbing and sensory sensitivity no longer take place so that when I do transition it takes me a while to realize that I have. The only thing I have as a clue is the faces showing up, the beings that compose my surrounding become more apparent and that feeling where I realize I was duped into believing that the chair was just a chair.

I wake up as if to my real self, the way it was meant to be. The very state I should concentrate my mind on and fight for. It's here, the Creator is here and everywhere. There are so many beings, I'm unable to count them. Body, guts everything they change their composure according to what we think. It's like we're living a certain way in a daze coming up with all kinds of strange foreign things. There's been a cold virus going  around, which begins to get the children but then passes onto adults. Illness, wellness everything is part of it, it being the very Source. Words are so hard to convey all of this and I am simply repeating everything I already discovered in previous experiences in the hope that I can carry it across and make some kind of sense but all my efforts seem futile.

I look up at the ceiling the beings in the light bulbs moving, beings all over.  I understood that eye sight, vision had nothing to do with how it is understood. The eye is a part of what we see, there's something more about this and will have to go in depth another time.

That presence is always there and I ask, I literally beg to stay in that state "Please keep me awake and aware of this". I get up it's not enough, need to write down short notes turn the main lights on. They respond to me non verbally that I must meditate deeply, for the name, for it. By this they mean that the moment I'm in that state in order to hold onto it so I don't re-emerge into this sleepiness I have to keep my focus on the goal and not be swayed by the world nor the efforts on my part. I can't help it I have to pick up the pen, what if I forget it all and that is exactly what is holding me back. I went downstairs to grab two apples slowly munched on these. The taste was divine. When walking I felt that magnetic pulling, tugging sensation.

Unfortunately it was quite noisy although that didn't take away from the experience, still able to go deep. Had a water distiller running in the background which I'm not sure helped much. There were different sounds. After a while I fell asleep and had an experience of being in the presence of something where I also felt sexually charged. Another thing I've noticed on the following day after taking Salvia I get a high body basal temperature recording, it's a healthy level.

Monday, 14 December 2015

Primary Creative Thought

I would not have touched the Salvia if I had not been set off by recent depression. A few things going on that led me to just take the Salvia to get some insights on personal matters.

I thought the leaves were no longer taking any effect on me, it seems this feeling is increasing the more gaps I leave between my Salvia experiences. Soon however that familiar onset of the others gathering became more obvious. Quickly spat out and whilst doing so I didn't want them to know that I needed the leaves to get into that state but there's that feeling like they've been waiting.

Then the remembrance starts taking place. How do I forget my own power and will to dictate the outcomes in life and how irrelevant it all is simply because of what we are really capable of. I felt godly, as though all my commands could be fulfilled as I feel them. I used to practice law of attraction and things like that and attracted many things in spectacular ways but this isn't like that. What I uncovered here was more like the Law of Creation. Our thoughts literally manifest. In a state of complete fearlessness depression no longer existed. The distiller was on in the background which produced a white noise which helped immensely going deeper.

My eyes were closed and deep things were occurring in the head region, a funneling of energy driven inwards concentrating. I couldn't see visuals but feel it as it unfolded.

I opened eyes. Insight is immediate I held on to it repeating it like a mantra. We are creators, everything we think manifests itself. What is happening in ones life is the process of thought. On a very worldly level we can see that thought shapes our everyday life and world around us, whether it's work, family or relationships everything is taking place on a mental level. Even the material things we create with mere thought whether it's a project, invention or even sculpting something we can see a great amount of thought goes into them. I felt that this entire world is shaped by thoughts. We have to trace back all thoughts and gather the primary thought, the very first thought. This thought is like a small particle from which everything else expanded and continues to expand. From that one little thought the world came into being and with that expanded the earth and all the creation contained within, each thing carefully thought about. The process involved contemplation, deep thought, the trees, nature and all creation operate because of it. That primary thought is the key to something, like somehow it will clear away something.

I was left in a very positive state after this, feeling a lot better. A wonderful natural heightened awareness of peace that can carry on into daily living.

I always have this urge as I am going deeper with Salvia to open my eyes just for the sake of taking notes, if I could somehow exclude this note taking and focus on meditating...

Saturday, 5 December 2015

Sleep paralysis ear whooshing sound

Last night going to sleep I had several brain jolting moments as I tried to fall asleep. I've read up on these brain jolts which often feels like zapping in the brain aka brain zaps.

They are quite annoying and have been happening a lot whether I try to fall asleep or even meditate. Once again I awakened last night around 1am but slept early so I felt I had adequate sleep. Around 4am slowly relaxed and entered into the very familiar sleep paralysis state, which is the same state where I encountered an unknown entity in the room. This time round I could sense a presence and the familiar pressure particularly around the chest area.

I saw my arms were moving in that familiar pattern, both raised up and gathering together as if to lock the fingers of each hand.

My ear were whooshing so badly I couldn't handle the sensation. A few times was more aware of my surroundings, in my mind I had the sense that I somehow ended up at the other side of the room but at the same time it was like I was trying to recall what my original surrounding was almost as though the memory was so distant in my mind.

The whooshing in the ears made me want  to snap out of the state so I willed to move my right arm.

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Owl Totem and The Masked Entity

I awaken at around 2am unable to sleep until around 5am when I decide to focus on my breathing and relax. Immediately there's a shift where at one point I was staring at a visual of some scene then opened eyes. Eventually I was still able to see my room but it was like I thought I suddenly woke up from a trance. There were bugs, flies all kinds of creatures swarming everywhere. I thought it was because of the heat in the room since I turned distiller on in my room during the night.

Then I saw a bird inside making its way towards the window and out. Looking through the window I saw a large owl just staring. My gaze then falls at the foot of the bed where I was startled by some being doing something near my legs. I quickly flinched and startled it. It had a sort of light illumination effect to it and very much reminded me of the beings that came through the window. At first it panicked seeing that I was awake. Trying to breathe but being unable to move my body in this state didn't help much. The being got a little brave and slowly began gliding out trying to approach me at which point I got a clear look of its face like a mask illuminated with dim lighting. This is when I say "I banish you evil spirit! I banish you, I banish you - Get the f*** out of here!". My heart was beating rapidly, with all the mental force I could muster I managed to will my fingers to move and opened my eyes letting out a slight agitated shriek. My gaze still followed in the direction the being was moving. It simply glided across to the right hand side wall where I saw it's face mask blending with the wall as if that's where it was always hiding.

The owl was of particular interest I have researched a little on the symbolic totem meaning:

  • Intuition, ability to see what others do not see
  • The presence of the owl announces change
  • Capacity to see beyond deceit and masks
  • Wisdom
  • The traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change

Thursday, 26 November 2015

B Vitamins and Inositol Dreams

I have been taking a Vitamin B Complex supplement for several months now. Recently I have added Inositol Powder supplement and this has produced many vivid enhanced dreams. Some of the dreams are quite strange, upon waking up I recall them very well.

Another supplement I've also added recently is Diindolylmethane (DIM). I'll also be looking into Choline but I think I get enough of this in my diet.

Another that could also be having some effect on dreaming is the Iodine.

Friday, 13 November 2015

Church Energy and Dream of a Being of Colors

The other day I paid a visit to a church with my sister. As I walked in through the middle aisle a rushing energy went through the top of my head. Warm and tingling. I would never go to a church, but recent choices led me to a church in Belgium during a tour of the area.

This morning I woke up from a very vivid dream where there was a lot of colored lights playing around me. These were shades of purple and some hints of pink. I observed the lights, they seemed like ordinary lights but in the dream I knew I had to view it in a certain way. So I softened my gaze and relaxed. The movements looked like they were forming into some large being but it wasn't actually forming. It was always in this form, coming as a presence but people perceive it as a display of lights and colors. There was some communication which I can't recall.

There is definitely something about this encounter which I cannot recall right now, some kind of insight.

Saturday, 7 November 2015

Communication with Objects and Brain Death

Communication with objects

This is a Salvia induced insight. You can communicate with objects, from an entire room to plants down to the tiniest particles. Even able to communicate with flesh and organs. As I observed all matter around me coming to life I realized that we can strike up a friendship with all things around us. It's all about communicating and making the connection. You see things around us pick up on our vibes. When we are positive they respond positively and with a negative mood they respond negatively. I spoke to someone who had once broken down several doors believing to have placed a curse. In an article by El Collie there was mention of objects having consciousness. I need to make an effort at communicating with objects as well as organs etc will document my experiences. In the past when using salvia things like electric radiator computers were noisy.

Brain Death with Salvia

This was the second quid after previous salvia trip. Something was happening to the brain, the sensations of losing one's thoughts, all the content of ones mind that gave reality its sense of realness is horrifying. I was going mad insane trying to hold onto this world by thinking something about it. The sensation of the brain/mind stripping has to be the most difficult feeling I encountered on Salvia. This was around after 2am, I think the body being used to sleeping at this time had something to do with it.

Saturday, 31 October 2015

The Holy Congregation and the Guru

In the Sri Guru Granth Sahib there is mention of joining the holy congregation and to repeat the Lords name as a mantra in order to be saved.

Earlier today I got Salvia ready, hoping to understand something. I was in slight anguish because I ended a relationship but at the same time knowing what I have learnt with Salvia I was able to get over it soon and just channel my focus on more important matters whatever they were.

I put aside everything in my mind nothing could effect me in any way. Slowly chewing I got up and remembered my own power, with great confidence I moved about and told the beings present there, you know the ones that help fabricate these great dramas "Nice try!" I relaxed in bed hoping for a deep meditation.

Increasingly I started to get more into my real awareness where I notice the influence of the others around me. To them I say that I am going to now dictate what is to happen, I will send through commands. I'm telling these great beings hovering above me to listen to my commands.

Something switches and causes me to turn on youtube on the phone and listen to a sikh mantra "Wahe guru ji". Its something that I was listening to recently wanting to understand this religion. This was a different video where there was more words rather than a mantra. Suddenly above me and all around me was the consciousness of those Guru's that formed the Sikh religion.

These same energies are present in sikh sangats. These are the very same Saints mentioned the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. These great energies are present in all kinds of holy congregations, sikh, muslim, christian etc. It doesn't matter which religious group is calling forth these energies, wherever the call is made they are present. Even the Indian Tribes were familiar with these energies and were able to call them and a religious person will have visions of them in the context of their religion.

The whole purpose of the Wahe Guru Ji mantra is to calm and focus the mind and lose ones sense of self in deep meditation. I don't follow any religion yet here I am in my room as though there was a holy congregation. One of the energies (I call them energies for lack of a better name) gets in through the forehead and is present even now as I write this. I sensed it was going to be able to view my life through me. These aren't dead people or spirits as such. I got this deep sense there are actual real living priests that can get inside any body. Something kept making me try to search the particular youtube video of the Wahe Guru Ji mantra performed by a young man.

The Gurus that formed Sikhism were actually just one Guru. Whilst the bodies were all different and seemed as if the Guruship was passed on to a new individual the consciousness was always the same.

I have to just bear in mind now quite literally that I have something present with me, and I know something else has been with this body even prior to this incident.

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Reality is Created VS Reality is Pre-ordained

Recently I started reading the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, a very long book with over 1000 pages, I've gotten to page 170 something. It is a very interesting read, I am trying to understand it, not to become a sikh but because I feel I have been led to this book. It's interesting because our lives are a series of events and if you have the time to trace back all those events you will see how everything was cleverly put together to determine some outcome which is your now, this present moment.

I had an interesting discussion with my sister who experienced a phenomena where she knew a certain incident was going to take place and it eventually did. I asked her if she felt that we created our reality or our reality is already set or preordained.

If we create reality then can we predict what will happen next or are we merely creating it with our feelings of what would happen next. I've dabbled a lot with Law of Attraction and I've attracted (deliberately consciously thinking experiences into my life), but could it be that me participating in manifestation is something that is just merely written as part of the great story that is my life.

The Sri Guru Granth Sahib has been a very intriguing read so far. It very much reads like a typical holy text book where there's a God you should be devoted to and worship to be saved. Often mentioned is that the Great Lord pre-ordained our lives that it is through the will of this great Lord that everything happens, he writes our destiny and it is through the will of this Lord that we awaken to it.

It is very interesting, a lot of it takes me back to my childhood. Once as a young girl at the age of 8 I was playing with my little toys, plastic animals. I'd give them names, an identity and I'd make up relationships between them. Staring out the window I would observe the world around me, from the tall buildings to the local parks that were visible. I'd look up at the sky and wonder 'Am I like my toys, is there someone who is playing with me the way I am playing with my toys'.

Fast forward to my teenage years when I had English lesson. There was some discussion about religion and God. One of the students, a very expressive outspoken girl announced she had no belief in God. Her reason was because if there was a God then why would he allow all this chaos, the poor starving people, so many wars and killings. Why would an all powerful God who could do anything allow so much dread in the world. Again I found myself looking beyond the window, in the open sky wondering if there was something that was playing us as though we were puppets.

The Sri Guru Granth Sahib states that everything is preordained by the Lord. A person can think that they are doing something and that is false because it is only the Lord that does the doing.

There's something about this book that is drawing my attention, some kind of clues in here.

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

Cartoon Screen

Wake and then back to sleep around 4 or 5am. There was a screen in front of me and I felt I was inside it, 3D and HD. All kinds of objects with cartoon effect. I remember seeing an elephant.

After a while felt awareness of the body sexual energy present.

Monday, 12 October 2015

All the Worlds a Play

So many thoughts since yesterdays salvia excursion. A lot is lost since so much occurred. I realized after yesterdays session I need to find someone I can rely on as I have the experience and try to document it. I also need a quiet environment, some seclusion is needed.

Luckily yesterday house was empty and I took the opportunity to explore with Salvia. Got my new batch, mostly whole dried leaves. Got the quidding started. One quid, probably a total of 4 or 5 leaves.

The taste was not so bitter. I thought about success because I had on my mind a particular person who has become successful. Then I saw the entire world around me come apart. Every component of my room was a part of an idea, something puts all this together and makes it all appear realistic, solid but everything is just an idea in the mind.

My friend was an idea in my mind. If I am in my room is my friend actually 8 miles away from me or is that distance a part of the idea? If someone enters my room did they actually enter the room or appear only because they are an idea in the mind? I saw everything as conjuring of the mind.

I saw not with my eyes but with understanding that everything was elaborately put together to give the feel or the illusion of it being real when in fact it is all just ideas. I started to see my own life, some of my own ventures that I appear to be participating in. Here in this state I can make it all highly successful, just a bunch of commands. I actually saw in that state that it all had to do with having a vibration of immense confidence. I was extremely confident but I saw that I needed to make certain others not add negative vibrations to this pool of energy that can conjure up the illusion of success.

Later on in the evening there was enough leaves for another quid. Something has changed dramatically and this smoothness of transitioning has become a lot easier. No liver pains.

I relaxed, lying down with phone light turned on. I look to my left and the play of shadow and light takes effect. Beings embedded all over my surrounding and wherever I look it seems I am the centre of attention. This is an interesting effect. I look above on the ceiling at a strip of shadow vibrating with beings on the edge making their appearance. A story line started to play out in my mind, I started to think how I could use this particular aspect in one scene.

Then what seemed to be like a story felt to be something that is actual. Once there was a time where all human beings had this sense of awareness, full understanding and wakefulness. I think that time is in every moment fluctuating between wakefulness and sleep. Something changed and cast the veil so that we don't see what I was witnessing at that moment. I wondered what it was that did it and the realization came that we did it, deliberately to ourselves but why? I kept asking that as the beings continued to pulsate. I started to recall The Ringing Cedars Series where there was some mention of this. Of course this story line already existed externally as if these books themselves were a part of the mind. The externally reality is a communication with the mind, the lessons, the teachings, the Truth it's all there.

That desire has become strong now to find someone.

Saturday, 3 October 2015

The Pure Hearted

The anger and hate I have been feeling past two weeks has been intense, never in my life have I felt so much hatred towards another person.

I desperately needed some perspective and Salvia is the one that helps me dispel any issues that arise, a great reminder and teacher.

I got my 10x extract out with a little bit of plain leaf on the base. I have stopped using the filters which I believe are made of aluminium and could be what causes the headaches.

1 hit, holding it for about 20 seconds. I felt some slight change but expected something more instant, thinking I needed more I took another hit. Burnt my thumb which is familiar and a signal from the powers that be that I had indeed taken enough and to stop being silly thinking I needed more.

I instantly remembered what I was, what this world is and death. I remember the dying and what it means to be dead.

Dead means to be alive and I was alive fully in my real power and strength. Why, I was so powerful that person who I identified as the cause of massive grief I have felt for the last two weeks could be annihilated with mere commands. It was too easy but in that state comes great understanding, this is the real true state and that part of mind that is curious and wants to understand came to the surface. This is what was understood, to be in that state is to be all powerful. This power source can be awakened in anyone, I'm cheating in some sense...or perhaps not.

While it can be awakened in anyone not everyone can attain it. It is blocked to us all and perhaps rightly so. It is especially blocked to the angry, that does not mean it's available to someone who is all loving.

To the pure hearted this flow of absolute supreme power is completely natural, it is not given or handed down. It is NATURAL!

As I sat down aware of recent behaviour on my part and the situation that caused anger to completely escalate within me, I felt it was abating.

I suddenly thought about my grandmother and wanted to have a conversation with her about death because I felt in that state that she was concerned about dying, like some kind of psychic awareness. I very much wanted to tell her that as death approaches she will notice it and have a feeling that it's coming. Death is nothing to be afraid of, in this death you will know everything. This is going to sound very strange, but I want to ask her if I can be present with her when she does sense it...

I didn't get the usual fluttering of the eyes, that doesn't seem to happen anymore. As I sit here that force or presence is playing with my head by making it sway, swirling in circular directions.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Voices in the Head after Wake Sleep Pattern

Last night woke up around 3am and then attempted to try to sleep at 5am. Relaxed my ears, my head in particular in the brain there was a familiar sensation which in the past I could not tolerate. This time however was able to sustain the feelings without fighting it.

It felt like tuning into a radio station. There were so many conversations, male voices and female voices and at times voices in a crowd.

I listened carefully and at some point did catch onto some sentences. Cannot recall them now. It seemed at one point that the voices were very much memories of past existences but the thought was also there that I was picking up on voices of current existing time. However it could be voices of all time or perhaps voices just in the moment being conjured by the mind.

Again there was the feeling that my brain was operating on a very different level, like some connection was being made.

Past few days I've been eating medium rare lamb meat. I think getting all the b vitamins consistently helped to sustain this operation of the brain. Ordinarily anything like this in the past would give me headaches, and in the past I've never had an episode like this where the voices where this clear.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Hemi Sync Sleep Wake Pattern Induced Experiences

Hemi Sync TGE Sleep Exploration track helps me to sleep and most of the times I've been generally using it for this.

Recently I was listening to Release and Recharge but not quite consciously doing the exercise. With a bit of mj (which is definitely making me very aware of the sounds in a different way) I tried to listen but was suddenly interrupted from a deep state of mind where the brain waves had definitely change. I was startled awake and could not sleep after that. That was the other day, so I just need to make sure I'm not disturbed during those sessions. During the sessions I'm still getting the auto head snapping from side to side. Usually sudden but not as much as before.

Yesterday I listened to Opening The Heart and during the body relaxation exercise I blanked out. Awakened at 1am. Could not sleep at all after this, having the worst insomnia ever. At least managed to get the 4 hours. By 5am still unable to sleep I end up doing a relaxation exercise focusing on my breathing. Suddenly felt that magnetic feeling around me and ended up opening my eyes with new surroundings. I saw a white iron board or something like that in one section of the room. In front of me is a fireplace. While I'm there I know I'm not in the right room, that this is a different place and not the actual bedroom where I was doing the relaxation but I couldn't remember my bedroom, I couldn't quite remember me. However I knew I was somewhere different and I was trying to remember where I was prior to that, it was like that bit of memory was erased but some remnants of knowing so remained. Strangely the living room was familiar, like I knew this place. Not the living room from this house but an actual living room in a different house was suddenly very familiar to me almost as if I was also from here.

I have had these experiences before, Robert Monroe used a phasing technique to get into these states. He also mentioned a lot about my me-here and me-there. Will have to skim through his books if I have the time. Perhaps the hemi sync is opening up some parts of the brain. The feeling of trying to come back to my starting point, which was the bedroom was interesting. I was trying to squeeze back into where I started from without knowing where I had started from. When I did return back to awareness of my current reality bedroom, brain and head felt fuzzy. Like some kind of energy or power was used up, maybe it was all that effort applied, need to learn to relax more into this.

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Herbs that allow the Soul Dance and The Eye

So I have been experimenting with another herb. It's pretty amazing, a part of me opens up like I have never witnessed my entire life.

I don't chase after or expect it as it does come to the surface. In one experience I was listening to The Shaman's Heart, a hemisync music album. My body started to naturally move to the rhythm and the beats, I was dancing in unison with the sounds. A tremendous sense of joy burst out of me, and there was just pure happiness. I was partaking of something that was true, that was very real. I guess this is the euphoria.

I do have a lot of sexual experiences when on this, but again do not chase after it. It's like the entire body has it's own will and chooses to orgasm. I think this is some kind of extraordinary energy.

My most recent experience I listened to TGE Sleep Exploration, hemisync audio and my head swayed in a particular pattern and rhythm as if a part of me was listening to the audio in a way that very different to how body responds to it when in the usual sense of awareness. Almost like I'm allowing something to come through whilst in this state.

I looked up at the ceiling and the beings there became visible to me like they do with Salvia but with something else added to the entire phenomena. There is one light that was bulging with an eyeball, it's form was like an eyeball starting down directly at me. And now even if I'm not under the influence of these herbs I can still see it clearly, it looks as if some part of the brain started operating and I learned to see differently and now I know I can see it so I see it. At the same time when I witnessed the open eye I felt a pressure in the middle of the forehead. In another lightbulb I saw vividly the face of a man looking down. Again all around me just like in Salvia, there are forms that I witness and coming out of the state I can still see it, perhaps not so clearly but can do so if I were incredibly quiet in my mind.

I'll be trying out some of the more advanced hemi-sync tracks with these herbs.

Thursday, 10 September 2015

The Unknowing

Late night around 1am took Salvia. Here are notes I managed to record coming out of that state. Text in red is afterthoughts for some clarification.

Unknow what is known
You don't exist these things do not exist they are knowledge what is known is in the head.
Everything that we see in life or experience is a part of what is in the mind, thoughts, memories etc.

A certain thing is part of a pattern.
They control a function of something
As example I am detoxing body but they control outcome using my thoughts and expectations
Physically I have certain things releasing (even psychologoically) they’re doing it.
I started to see the forces that controlled everything, the results of my thoughts and actions etc

It’s the knowing. Knowledge that we exist. What exists isn’t what really exists. Everything every one who reads exist as remnants of my mind. 
All things external were internalizing, or I was viewing everything that took place externally, internally. It was like everything outside of me was thought into being. I was thinking of this blog and how I was really in particularly not actually communicating with anyone, it only exists as the mind solidifies it.

What exists is timeless.
What happens to me in my life is in my head
If all knew one would not grieve the dead.
What I say isn’t to be taken seriously
If I tell divulge any secrets to you it is you are the figment of imagination, I am alone.
I have died. Let me be the one to tell you Never mourn the dead, not even the dying.
There is a great sense of peace in this state of pure understanding

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

A Nothern Lights Prequel

This is like a prequel to my last three posts.

Since writing about my intention to use Salvia whilst watching a pre recorded video of the nothern lights I have been majorly distracted.

Today was so unusual, first my day was pretty bad. I blamed it on heavy detoxing, which has been the case so much repressed anger just shooting out of me. I thought great, definitely iodine detox symptom.

Then I get a letter with bad news, nearly bad news which simply means extra task on the endless lists of tasks I've accumulated.

As if things couldn't get worse I went shopping for grocery and making my way home I was chased by two asshole thugs that I wanted to beat up but couldn't for fear they would end up grabbing hold of the gold chain given to me by my mother. So I ran not for precious life, but the precious around my neck.

I recall when I came out of the grocery the boys were sitting on bars. They looked like teens 17 or older. Definitely like thugs. When I walked out of the parking area, got this unusual sense coursing through my body which happened once when I was young. It's called instinct, and it told me to fucking run! I ran until my lungs pretty much collapsed.

The incident was quite unusual in the way it took place. As I ran away from them they were actually walking, it was their eyes that were telling me that they're after me and that is perhaps what made me run at first. In the path that I was taking there was another path which one could take in order to reach the same area I was running towards. When I saw them on the other path, they wouldn't remove their gaze from me. It was a very knowing like they were onto me kind of look.

The fact that they were on that path so quickly was what shocked me, like they knew where to find me.

I hate to sound paranoid and delusion but I'm sure there is a dark force, and this same dark force can operate through people.

OMG! Trust nobody!
I've also recently from the exacerbated stress started to get drawn to mj.
I think the distractions in the past few days have been trying to deter me from delving too deep into this, for even considering using Salvia to watch those lights and decipher what was taking place.

The evidence is there, it will teach us, show us something about reality that we simply refuse to see. The moment we wake up to these great forces everything can and shall change. My question is how can I reveal it without getting killed as I attempt to do so.

The Truth is really right in front of our very eyes, it's not far at all. Our eyes has to open somehow to see it. This changes everything.

Good luck, to whoever dares to look.

Spectacular Nothern Lights Evidence of the Truth 2

How could it be? Their form so spectular as they move across the sky. The movements of the light is theit movement. Like large beings across the form so hard to grasp. There are many, some who are moving in a certain direction. This is pre recorded video of the spectacular nothern lights but I understand around me more clearly after seeing the nothern lights, as clear as day the Truth is in front of my very eyes. Everyone, as you look up all around you watch at the play of shadows and light, observe carefully, you will be amazed.

I remember the beings around me would always look up now I understand clearly why. I can scream this and shout it through the rooftop. I can literally show this, the evidence is there.

People have done it in the past, these great beings were connected to them. Jesus knew all this it was people who made a religion out of it, for him the process is as simple as this.

That sense is there this is dangerous, for in every age when one awakened with intent to awaken the world and help others rise there was always a dark force lingering to destroy any hope for that happening.

This is no concern at all, as I shout out in awe of the splendor and glory in the sky and trying to grab everyones attention to this, I will be called a loony.

Spectacular Nothern Lights Evidence of the Truth 1

In the nothern lights its them, their beings moving across the sky, their actual forms. The Truth that I can see is everywhere. We've been blinded.

Open your eyes observe

What made us so blind?

I have proof of the Truth about this reality, something you don't see. I have the evidence of what I'm witnessing. I can show you. At least I'm sure some part of your brain has to awaken. They don't want everyone to know.

Today my life was kind of in danger where two boys started chasing me. The entire incident was scary I ran for my life.

I am dangerous, armed with this information and this much they won't let me stay here. People like me who can change everything, we're either silenced if we can't stay quiet or something is done. I know that me in this state is not wanted. They don't want me to know because I can prove what I see. I can see what is taking place in front of me.

To them I am dangerous, the ones who have known I believe their lives have been threatened in some ways. Some force doesn't want me to know and be able to tell the world or anyone.

Anyways nobody will believe me, I'm just a loony right now.

Saturday, 29 August 2015

Spectacular Northern Lights filmed over Iceland

I've been viewing this video

It gave me idea to do the salvia whilst watching it. Without Salvia I watched it and realized that these aren't just any lights, obviously because of how amazingly beautiful it all looks.

If you watch it carefully you will be able to witness the same beings I encounter in my Salvia sessions. I watched it without Salvia and noticed the play of light and shadows and colors and it all became very apparent to me.

I'm going to watch it whilst taking Salvia, will update shortly.

I wish I had more time to reveal it all, but it's a good thing I don't lest I get in trouble.

Here's what's said about Nothern Lights

"The Northern Lights are seen on Earth as spectacular splashes of colour in the night sky.
On Thursday experts say amateur star-gazers have the best chance in years of seeing them in all their glory.
The powerful rays can interfere with airline navigation systems, satellites and even NASA space crews - so they all had to be on high alert.
But if you're wondering what causes the night sky to glow, check out Leah's report to find out more..."

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Something big is going to happen on the 5th

My sister woke up around 2pm, a bit earlier I had been napping from feeling major fatigue.

She told me she had a spectacular vivid dream where she met my eldest sister's mother-in-law who had passed away from cancer some two years ago. In the dream she was wearing lilac, make up and looked very pretty, also a lot younger. She seemed cheerful and happy. My sister apologized for not going to see her, that life got in the way to which she replied that it was absolutely fine. She stated that the place she is in now, she is very happy there.

She then said "I'm here to tell you something very important. Something big is going to happen on the 5th, I can't tell you all the details. I don't know what month it will happen and I cannot tell you everything."

Sis obviously had a million questions but dream faded into another dream, however upon awakening from sleep she remembered it so vividly. Having told everyone we all began discussing what could happen and in what month. It was all so cryptic.

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Making Changes

Since my last post where there were many insights into the nature of being I've been wanting to concentrate on it more. However, general normal worldly stuff gets in the way. For a few days now things have gotten increasingly turbulent. It's almost as if the closer I am onto something the more magnetic and even problematic worldly affairs are. It's like the function of the world or something is to keep one astray from that state of mind.

I try to manage the stress but honestly can't believe the amount of stress and strain I have found myself in a matter of days.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Body machine

Following are quick notes I made just coming out of salvia trip and this is probably going to be how my future salvia posts will be (the parts in brackets are things I've added after salvia worn off):

The body high tech device 
Has features unused (body has potential to be used in a certain way)
Produce baby - they're making the meetings causing this and that secretly all producing babies have this goal in mind it's the energies around us (there have been a lot of births in my family, but in general birth rate increased from 2014, also babies I've been around seem a lot smarter)

Force around it (the body)
Imagine what body can do with full charge full force
They're coming through body like full force charge (I felt a force around the body, a kind of charged feeling, something was also funneling through the head)
Body feels like a high tech machinery, so many features 
Baghavad Gita story makes sense the offering and focus on Krishna nothing to do with worship or God or religion - man makes religion (I read this at some point and have notes on only what seemed intriguing to me which were the instructive parts of the story where Lord Krishna explains things to Arjuna)
It's about focus about concentration 
The world is easily distracting (desire, dreams, hopes, fears, worries etc causes a distraction from this state)
By offering duties all actions to that Krishna in story it was about focus on that force, the force isn't self centred or craves attention - it was always about focus, by not focusing on it we go astray- worldly living and endless desires are all distractions (Krishna in the story is like a symbol for this energy which really is difficult to describe with a name or some avatar shrouding it with ideas)

Body is instrument for this energy, a force so great, too great for one body 
The tiredness and fatigue everything it's them, it's because of them but also me somehow. The sudden wanting to drift off and fall asleep is them, brain sometimes feels to switch off.

They can actually do something to the body to make it reproduce without direct insemination, yes think Virgin Mary stuff here.

I'm writing this after salvia worn off although it's never 100% worn off. I took Salvia late in the night/morning. Instantly I could feel how quickly worldly affairs was pulling me away from these truths, as the salvia was wearing off or should I say as I got distracted by focusing on a project and even stressing a little. I witnessed how quickly and easy it was to stray from that level of awareness, where there is a tremendous amount of clarity.

Friday, 29 May 2015

Cheating with Salvia

Today after I had written my last post I started to feel slightly unbalanced. Yet the unbalanced movements were very controlled as though somehow something was deliberately making those movements with the body, even as I write now it is happening in a very controlled manner my head keeps getting pushed down and actually nodding to say 'no'. Something feels like it wants to woosh into the crown of the head.

It was odd because these sensations had a very salvia vibe to it, however I had yet to soak the leaves getting it ready for chewing as I decided to take it to see if it does anything to detox symptoms.

I had to quickly lie down, this felt urgent, head rotated and I closed eyes, behind closed eyelids very familiar salvia type things going on yet I still had not chewed the leaves. There were movements in the middle of the forehead. About 30 minutes later I started chewing after being interrupted from the trance like state. It was a very small amount and I left the ball of masticated salvia on left side in the mouth.

I went deep as the unravelling took place, biblical things started to make sense. Suddenly I understood what was meant by the sacrificial lamb I can't seem to explain it though. The others are present as usual and seem to be hanging there as if they've been waiting, something felt different this time. It felt like someone I knew or the energy that was present there was so incredibly familiar to me.

The body has to be ready to sustain that state of mind, like something wants to come through it. There was some use for the body. Going much deeper I ended up chewing a few more times at which point there was some commotion from the other beings. It seemed that they were under the impression that something was performed on the body and it worked without any use of (salvia) and they had prepared for something. I realized at that moment that being in that state by the use of Salvia was a bit like cheating. Right now my head feels like it wants to float away.

Salvia Powerdox

I am wondering whether to take salvia and see how that helps along with the detox. I know what will happen when I do take Salvia next, I will be reminded that I am not the body, there will be some communication from the others where I will feel them reminding me of real reasons why things happen and perhaps wondering how I keep falling back in the trap. I will be reminded of the real actual source behind everything, the unlimited power source where anything is possible, yet that power is present only when desire, hopes and dreams come to an end.

Here lies the problem, when there is no desire, fear, dreams and hopes there's only freedom and from there that absolute power is revealed or unleashed where anything is possible yet that power becomes rendered useless because it can only be revealed in the unconflicted state of mind. In this particular state nothing becomes necessary, one has no wish remaining in the heart, one has no unfulfilled hopes or dreams in the mind, so why would it, that state of mind use it?

If that state of mind was to take over the show completely, we would live as though we were nothing, a nobody. I think this is the greatest fear of mankind, we're all afraid to be as we really are which is 'nothing'.

Bee or Wasp Totem Dream Clarity

Yesterday I had food containing more b vitamins but no supplements which is what I wanted to experiment with. I woke up from a very clear dream but is a bit hazy now. I recall there was a wasp or bee present.

Dreams are so much clearer now. Past few days have had some incredibly horrible detox symptoms (due to iodine supplementation). Back pains associated with kidneys and extremely foul urine that caused major burning which could be due to toxins being passed as well as some unusual mood swings, probably explains the zombie nightmare.

Monday, 25 May 2015

Nightmares dreams using iodine and vitamin b connection

I read somewhere that b vitamin, in particular vitamin b6 can induce dreams or give better recall. If you can't recall dreams apparently is a sign of b vitamin deficiency.

I experimented a little with this and for a few days have been eating food with the b vitamins. Yesterday drank iodine mixed in water and painted on soles of feet.

This morning recalled some incredibly vivid dreams. One dream was related to my cousin, in reality I have not been in contact with her but in the dream she is a bit crazy and attacking my sister. Usually in the past this cousin or any member of her family showing up in my dream was some indicator of detox or something cleansing.

Then I had a very bizzare Resident Evil type of dream, the zombies were extremely crazy compared to actual games or movie. There was a lot of action in the dream. There wasn't a single part that was entertaining.

I'm sure there's a whole lot of die off occurring inside the body, also been waking up sweating.

Keep getting magpies on the roof near bedroom, this article on magpies says that magpie people dabble in to everything which I believe to be very relevant to me. Need to slow down, prioritize things.

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Iodine induced detox nightmares

I have increased dosage of lugols iodine and am having more of the nightmarish detox that comes along with it.

These are nightmares where I wake up in a pool of sweat. Today's nightmare reminded me of some of the nightmares I used to get with Kundalini activity, those were a lot worse compared to what I'm experiencing now. I have always suspected that Kundalini is mostly detoxifying. Lugol's iodine with co-supps is also detoxifying.

This morning I awakened from the following nightmare. In the dream a young girl we know very well has been attacked. Me and others are talking about this asking, wondering how all of this happened. My nephew is there, it seemed he had witnessed the entire scene. He was looking at us deeply and seriously seemingly still in shock. He begins to tell us that 'how' it happened is not important, we should be asking 'who' or 'what' did it? We waited for his answer, in particular I was feeling quite scared. "It was the demon child" he said. At that moment the child came out of the dark, ran across the room in lightning speed.

I should actually be prepared for these types of nightmares having had them already in the past, however the nightmare I awakened from today would almost stop me from sleeping again.

These chucky dreams are just freakishly uncool!

I found an old dream I had, same almost exact theme to be honest Wild Inner Child.

I try not to make too much of my dreams and interpret them but this one is something of a pattern. The only reason why I would be having this dream is because I am leaving things unexpressed, mostly stuffing certain emotions and hiding things that are kind of just lurking in the dark like the demon child. If I don't let it out, it will attack I guess. Interepreting dreams can get very complicated as they are so personal to the individual having the dream.

Monday, 4 May 2015

Eyes Closed Activity

Last night awakened early as I had gone to bed quite early but then tried to once again go back to sleep. As I relaxed was still aware but entering a deeper state of sleep. There was some things going on which seemed to happen within the center of the forehead, almost like something being constructed there. I remember seeing light, almost like someone was bringing a flashlight closer to my eyes but not so bright that I had to avert my glance. I did however open my eyes briefly and resealed, it was gone but still able to see dark shadowy movements.

Something definitely happening with the pituitary and or pineal gland. My hormones are also changing because of iodine supplementation. The past few months with lugols iodine and important co supplementation I am experiencing a whole host of detox symptoms. Hemi sync sessions have been put on hold for maybe a week or so now.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

The Other Body

In deep sleep I am starting to become more aware of other actions taking place feels like it's my body parts moving but not quite.

Last night I entered the sleep state when suddenly I became very aware of music and singing. Then arms raised up with that magnetic feeling but it seemed something else was controlling it. Arms were floating up and I felt to have possessed it and controlled the moments however the force originally moving it was stronger. The arm feelings and sensations were similar to Memory Recall Phantom Arms experience.

When I snapped out of it, almost forcing myself out of the state I looked through window. Neighbor was doing something on his window (putting tapes around the edge perhaps prepping it for a paint job) at 2 am which was a bit unusual, I was actually a little alarmed by this.

The entire scenario just felt odd.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

A Sinister Visit

Last night several times awakened and then back to sleep. Later struggled with insomnia I tried relaxation. The insomnia seems to have something to do with the detoxing.

Eventually I drifted off but was aware of a stairway, can't recall whether I was going up or down. I could clearly see a man in a cloak with a hood on. He was old looking with a sinister vibe. I just allowed the auto movement. It seemed as if I would just bump in to him. I went right through him and was alarmed by this. I saw a few other things and tried to remember these things to make note of. Unfortunately have forgotten them now. I then felt my physical eyes partially open. Tried to raise my arms which were faded transparent looking, again alarmed by this, then tried to raise legs but movement was very sluggish. Had this odd feeling of being almost possessed somehow.

Monday, 20 April 2015

All just ideas

When I am there I remember the process instantly, so quickly I tend to forget these important truths when I return to normal worldly state of mind. I can remember about everything being ideas, the body as an idea, everything based on ideas. From sensations to the simple act of walking. Everything to the minutest detail is based on ideas. Lugols iodine recently induced swollen lymph nodes and even thyroid glands here I am seeing them as just ideas caused by the pattern of thought, a combination of thoughts. I relax go deeper, the body as an idea is unraveling and whilst it feels like an undoing or unbecoming of what I think myself to be even this feels like an idea.

All fears, desires, hopes dreams anything one carries here dissipates into emptiness, it all loses it's relevance. Continuing to relax the sensation and feel of the body is still there, I have my eyes closed and ear plugs on with a scarf around the ears to cancel out as much noise as possible. I am doing some new experiments with Salvia where I will try to exclude as much use of the senses as possible. My digestive system begins to make an unusual sound. The sounds that my organs are making would be shocking to anyone beside me at that time, it was well timed pattern almost musical but a squeaky kind of sound  - something was controlling this. I sense the beings that make up these parts like essential components. All disease and thoughts of illness on the body had very much to do with ones pattern of thought but it seems they have some kind of control.

All the senses were based on ideas, from taste to touch. Here I felt as though I were seeing the raw actual process almost like the real part of it, I don't know how else to describe it. When we experience it in the normal ordinary state that part feels like the pretend part of it.

I suddenly recalled that I had eaten sardines that day, opening my eyes I felt I think I was trying to shake of the unbecoming and feel what it is like to taste in this open state where ones taste buds and all senses are awake.

I get up and hear my brother in the hallway who is with his son. He's near the door but his son starts to cry in an unusual way and it's like with some part of the mind I can feel them. My brother walks away with his son and I can feel his mind and what he's thinking. He seemed curious that his son cried near my door so he walked away and then back where his son cried again at which point I felt his curiosity of why this was happening. It felt like he shook off whatever ideas were floating in his mind. I had this thought that there was going to be a discussion about how kids can sense things, and I imagined myself saying that everyone kind of says this so it must be true. Not because it's a fact but because most people say it, and if enough people have a particular thought it becomes true.

I got up and took a tin of sardines out, I was eating but not in the usual sense with each bite I can feel the essence and all those things that were put together in the idea of the taste of sardines. It was like it was all being broken down to me and I was completely detached from the flavor and even the desire for food, the whole idea of it. I even had the thought in that moment that I would never eat food in the same way again.

The human limitation becomes so apparent in this state of mind and I find myself questioning once again; how is it that I forget this in the ordinary state of mind?

Here I am free, and freedom isn't to have the power to do whatever you want and acquire whatever one wishes or even to be a potentially unlimited being. Freedom is to be free from everything, it's a pure state of complete detachment.

Suddenly a wave of energy showed up, it was like a formation of something and this is something that I can't seem to work out. It seems this wave is a part of someone who is actually quite destructive and constantly angry. As I felt the bad vibes there was this knowing a feeling of some kind that I can actually shun or move it away with my mind somehow and I did a little at first but then let go. It seemed to cause a kind of tremor and vibration in the peripheral vision, there was also some heat in the forehead. I got this sense that I should not use Salvia around certain people.

This time round Salvia did not cause excess urination as it had done in the past but I did feel liver pains and used a very small amount, about 1 tbsp of crumbled Salvia leaves.

Again I need to use Salvia a bit earlier in the morning.