Yesterday I have been feeling out of sorts. Completely disconnected, severely seeking something. Something calling.
Someone helped me roll a Salvia joint - this is my first time using it rolled up. It fortunately did not burn my throat, very smooth. The preliminary effects were instant with the first two pull.
Another tried it and felt something minor. The world around me was fluttering, lots of this going on around the eyes almost like the eyes were fluttering.
This was not enough, needed something else and an opportunity arose where I was able to get hold of Mary Jane as if it was purposely arranged by some other force. Only ever had this in the past where it left me paranoid.
----------------------------------------------
The Experience
No harsh burning in the throat, in fact the taste wasn't even as bad as was described by others. The buzz was immediate with the first two pull.
When I got back in the house the effects started to get even more pronounced, the motions of the body were changing. Everything vibrating intensely. I eventually got in my room, body changing, taking on the rubbery appearance I get with Salvia, only this was intense as though it were filling in some gaps that I missed out on Salvia.
As I a child in my old home I would play with my toys, giving each toy thing a character, a personality and directing the play. One time I had looked out the window up at the clear sky, questioning and pondering the world around me. Is the world like my doll house? Were the people in the world like my toy characters? I had the eerie sense that perhaps a God was playing with us in the same manner I was playing with my toys. Later on in life as I got older the same questions arose in a different format, but it was the same and again about God.
Here I was in my room, current day what appears in the story as many years later, completely and fully aware of the self and the surroundings. Everything around me was real but it had taken on a toy like appearance and I could clearly perceive what was actually taking place.
Whilst there was perception of the body, there was a complete detachment to the sensations like it did not have any hold what so over in that state. The body could have been sliced and diced and it did not effect that awareness being completely detached from it. There was a clicking sound coming from the computer monitor which was turned off, this has also occurred with Salvia.
I quickly got in bed, something that was just lingering now fully taken over. As a result a complete understanding came about, about reality and with clarity the nature of my Self, the real true Self. This can only take place by direct perception. In that moment through this perception I am the God that was pondered in the childhood scene, I am the very force that was pulling the strings.Something was happening to the brain, waves and extreme electrical charges.
Everything around me shutting down, awareness came of the story. Pure awareness was having a direct contact with it. The little scenes, the dramas came up but completely insignificant.
Going deeper and deeper, retiring, completely withdrawn into my real true Self the world started to shut down - it was ending and there was a void, not just darkness but simply nothing - in there was pure and absolute Silence.
Holding on to the story now, the physical eyes willed open staring back at the mastery of creation. A few times the other characters started talking to me, my phone rang I took the call in that state - it was purely story based.
Closed my eyes to withdraw again, something else was taking place. Deeper and deeper something was occuring in the sexual organs. I was perceiving the body and it's processes. There was sharp pains but being detached to the body there was no reaction but the pain was the worst pain, nothing as brutal as this was felt in the story.
There was awareness of sexual activity, a similar thing occured with Salvia. This time incredibly intense.
At first it was pleasure, like the entire of mankind was having an orgasm at the same time in this one body. Then it was severe sharp tearing pain and I could no longer tell the difference between the two being in a complete detached state. It ends somewhere completely withdrawing. Later awakened at 3am with no sense of having slept.
Other things were done to the body, but again the only thing I have understood is their insignificance. As I began to type this post on the computer, it suddenly went off. I checked this out, the electricity in my room was the only place to be affected.
I've had the sense of being God before, only this is God experiencing God in live stream within the dream and unlike a lucid dream you not only become aware of the dream and the dreamer but the actual essential essence of the dream. That thing underlying it all.
This morning I felt like that great Self wanted to play with the little version of itself. Somehow that everything unfolding within the story was for the purpose of discovering Self in its own creations.
Wednesday 30 October 2013
Monday 28 October 2013
A Holistic Observation with Krishnamurti
There is a storm unfolding here in the UK. It was incredibly windy this morning.
Around after 8am I started the masticating process of Salvia. Just before the second spoonful, my head was rotating more to the magnetic force - they're behind it.
I tried to leave behind thoughts of the 'signal' and anything earthly to leave it behind and go deep in with this in meditation.
My real self and the reality that was here and there was present. All things crystal clear, only I am confused now and do not even know how to carry on with this post. I am attempting something, to elucidate something and it has completely baffled me.
In that state I was totally aware, of my actual state of being, there were others - I felt pains sensations in the body and became aware of what they really are. I can see everything it was this world and that and through this world we see it but we don't. It is in our face, we are looking at it not knowing that we are. What has been done is that its appearance has changed.
Immediately I knew what clouded it was the seriousness with which we lived, and they begin with desires and thoughts. This was important, things incredibly important were being revealed and yet they have been said countless of times by many. I wanted to take it back in that state as broken as it was - something major was being revealed and I wanted to be able to bring it back in my fractured state to help all those fractured others, to let them in on the great secret.
Its a good thing that I don't live in that complete full awareness and my state remains fractured in a condition of confusion, I have to go through it just to break through it so that I can speak a little about it but my doing anything to help others is just that, to help others. But everyone has to see of their own accord - no one person who wishes to help alleviate the condition which mankind suffers from is able to do this. The only thing I can say is that we need a unitary conscious awareness for something new, the unspeakable and unknowable.
As I went deeper I decided to grab my mp3 player which also has a recorder function. I wanted to record everything as I saw it. I told them that I won't reveal anything, how can I? At that stage it was like the body was being inflicted with more pain.
I turn on the mp3 player, the sound of Krishnamurti's voice vibrated through the speaker. I had last listened to this track and now it was continuing. I was quickly fiddling through while still completely aware, with the one goal that I needed to record everything in detail, everything that was taking place.
My fingers stopped moving as I listened to Krishnamurti, what felt like for the first time.
As this played I looked at the ceiling, everything around me, to what was really occurring. The parts of what I had considered the ceiling light, the play of the light and shadows in the room clearly observing all around me at the same time listening to the crucial moment in the track titled 'holistic observation' like it was all planned out a set up organised specifically for this experience.
I have been listening to Krishnamurti's talks and reading his material for the past 2 years on and off and for the first time I realised he was describing completely this awareness. He was not merely just discussing mans problems and issues and what was required from each of us - he was talking from the awareness that is our natural state.
Every spoken word luminously described what I was seeing and yet to bring those words to what is now considered the ordinary state of mind is like reading a language without knowing it's definition. I have done that, I have learnt Arabic, how to read it but not knowing the definitions of the words I was reading. You can learn a new language, how to read and write it, how to connect vowels with consonants to make up a word but not knowing the definition of these words.
I guess you can say when I was reading Krishnamurti's words I was reading - the definition I found in the direct perception of this awareness.
Here I was with a holistic observation, everything was vibrating to the sound coming out of the player. In a moment I'm going to transcribe the section of the audio that I was listening to.
Krishnamurti transcription (from, transcript, video):
"Until we understand that and go into it very deeply and discover total order, we shall always have disorder in the world. So a serious person is not easily dissuaded from the pursuit of understanding, the pursuit of delving deeply into himself, into his consciousness, not easily persuaded by amusement and entertainment which is perhaps sometimes necessary pursuing consistently every day into the nature of man, that is, into himself, observing what is actually going on within himself. From that observation, action takes place. It is not: what shall I do as a separate human being but an action which comes out of total holistic observation of life. Holistic observation is a healthy, sane, rational, logical, perception that is whole, which is holy. Is it possible for a human being, like any one of us who are laymen, not specialists, laymen, is it possible for him to look at the contradictory, confusing consciousness as a whole; or must he look at each part of it separately?"
I had too deeply listen to this track - in that state it was profound.
I was so completely in that state, I think Krishnamurti lived in this state without ever becoming fractured, all his talks were directed from this state of awareness.
I started to once again fiddle with the recorder wishing to accurately describe everything that was occurring - more importantly my understandings, the insights.
As I speak in the recorder the weather has calmed down and throughout it feels as all that happens because of that state, the sky cleared up and appeared blue and luminous, the light that poured in only added to the life brimming all around me.
Audio track lasts 30 mins:
you don't want this recorded...
....a break whilst I try to gather whether to record it or not....this took near around 8 minutes until finally I spoke...
It's somewhere around us, the thing that we're seeking. Something is different and I...see around me as real, what I really am...Krishnamurti was right.................the awareness is here...........I can tell you what it's like, not allowed to share...........only what they say and they are not saying anything..........I'm not allowed to share this.
Why? Why can't I share this with the other parts?
I have to stop pretending to be real, stop acting stop liking and enjoying things. not supposed to like things or enjoy (I think they're referring to my recent highs). But why?
It is not that you're not supposed to like things, desire things it is just that this is what makes you hold on to that state of mind that makes things appear real...it covers up, the desire, thoughts and wants a...
have to stop- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh they're doing something to the body. Feet has an unpleasant sensation.
Pain..............just trying to handle it.
I whisper I'm not sharing anything anyways...
The most beautiful thing was the way it played out so beautifully, cinema worthy - so brilliantly put together - it is this mastery that needs to be captured in the movie.
It's amazing, how am I to put something like that in a movie.
I never got to see it by the way, the main thing, (the great secret Salvianauts mention) - it was hiding by the appearances before me. It was just about peering over me as if to look at me from.. hidden by all these things... thing that I'm looking for.. didn't look down...they were masking it.
Oh my god, if the others hear me they'll think I'm crazy...I see it now.
Everything that happens, everything around us the change of light...It's not some other world, like some distant place...you think you're going somewhere travelling onto the other place, right here it's always been here, there's no transporting no vehicle to get on to see what's already here.
The ceiling the play of the sun light - its really dramatic, almost.. almost feels like when someone watches a movie for the first time on a cinema screen...this is wow...being in the movie...seeing for yourself how amazing, in the movie as a character suddenly ..I don't know get taken over by the role then you just wake up to the setting the thing that made the light, the thing that made the wind appear as that..
....garbled mumblings... Krishnamurti track, how it just came out, that was just so........., coming back slowly...
...they can do things to the body , and the body isn't what we think it is but being back here in the body they can actually....ohaha uh! put me in pain ..they can cause the body to have some kind of pain uggh! I'm not allowed to divulge any kind of secret but I have just outlined something that..
What I've just outlined here I'm not going to share so fully........because I can't. How can I share this, I can't share this - I only hope someone experiences it.
Okay...so it is not real...our little drama. Like Krishnamurti has said...we're not looking with that consciousness...Oh my god! how it came about that understanding how everything was just so seamless I can't say anything more..
I promised them I won't tell and even if I were to tell what would anybody understand anyways. Krishnamurti did it, he described everything. He was describing it, oh my god he described it! He did it, he was using ordinary words, he sat there talking, talking on and on about it and nobody sees it. He described it.
They've pinched my nose I don't care
My nose is so stuffed they're changing something, I'm not even telling anyone about the secret, catching my breath.....what are you doing? sniff....sniff....sniffles ok oh my god they've stuffed up my nose they stuffed up my breathing and it's not just the breathing they've just changed the way the body operates wow wow wow.....I can feel sensations in the legs I can feel movement...
What I got earlier on from the very start of this experience:
don't take things for real, don't take experiences for real the things we do, don't take them for real it's desires and thoughts it not like its something bad that these things stop us from spiritual growth/experience and understanding.
It's these desires, these thoughts shroud you in blindness everything that makes you blind is just dirt it's just things and I'm watching it in live stream.
The cloud dissipating, the sky is blue now the suns out I'm not getting up I'm not opening my blinds I'm just looking at the light coming through.
I guess you could say...I'm not going to try look at what it is...that I didn't get to see what was hidden by them, it was not that it was hidden by them and there was one thing, that it was hidden...
There's a good reason for the hiding keeping it secret, why people can't see it. Is there a reason? is there a reason to hide something that is right in our face anyways, its just there all along?
I never ... I didn't just see it, I just saw with that consciousness, oh my god... Krishnamurti described it all, he says the description isn't the described, the described isn't the description something like that something isn't something.
Just what he was saying that it was so seamless with what I was experiencing all was unfolding... Oh my... this mp3 player has Krishnamurti stored in it and his words as it vibrated out of the player and how it was just seamlessly stitched into this part of the garment, I can see the pattern unfolding.
I can't describe this I'm not even sharing the way it is meant to be shared.
The movie...oh please... the movie has to be that this movie at least uncovers that part, the seamlessness, this uncovering is important.
It's amazing, amazing to see what he spoke of whilst it was unfolding right before my eyes as the track was playing, he was spot on, every little detail, every little bit.
The peception is closing now, but the sensations are there the physical body sensations, the light flickering, the sky, the light, the way the lighting was percieved how the sky clouds, how it moved.
Have to recall this need to not take things seriously, see the drama don't get caught up in the role. This was the most crucial understanding. The dreams the desires the thoughts, do not get absorbed...
In the playing field recently things that have happened my highs the things that have excited me being caught up...
I was supposed to close my eyes, relax, not grab my recorder not record anything they can end the process.
It is up to this other state, this other state determines what happens here physically, what happens there is what is taking place here. It's there but here, it's here in the physical surrounding there's a way to see it all...
We need to have this awareness, but it's not a matter of getting it or attaining it , we're not trying to get something, it's already here but because we are all so taken over by everything dreams, thoughts, desires and how it all just creates this strong grip tying us down.
I hope this is recording, looking down on the player 29 minutes... it so happens that they can make this not record..they would make sure it doesn't leak out there is something though and it didn't come, it didn't look - it wasn't making an appearance.. it's here, it's with us they can't even hide it.
The secret isn't even hidden...that's the secret...it's not even hiding...
End of audio.
When I get time I will put up a transcription of Krishnamurti's talks, the section that unfolded with this experience.
Around after 8am I started the masticating process of Salvia. Just before the second spoonful, my head was rotating more to the magnetic force - they're behind it.
I tried to leave behind thoughts of the 'signal' and anything earthly to leave it behind and go deep in with this in meditation.
My real self and the reality that was here and there was present. All things crystal clear, only I am confused now and do not even know how to carry on with this post. I am attempting something, to elucidate something and it has completely baffled me.
In that state I was totally aware, of my actual state of being, there were others - I felt pains sensations in the body and became aware of what they really are. I can see everything it was this world and that and through this world we see it but we don't. It is in our face, we are looking at it not knowing that we are. What has been done is that its appearance has changed.
Immediately I knew what clouded it was the seriousness with which we lived, and they begin with desires and thoughts. This was important, things incredibly important were being revealed and yet they have been said countless of times by many. I wanted to take it back in that state as broken as it was - something major was being revealed and I wanted to be able to bring it back in my fractured state to help all those fractured others, to let them in on the great secret.
Its a good thing that I don't live in that complete full awareness and my state remains fractured in a condition of confusion, I have to go through it just to break through it so that I can speak a little about it but my doing anything to help others is just that, to help others. But everyone has to see of their own accord - no one person who wishes to help alleviate the condition which mankind suffers from is able to do this. The only thing I can say is that we need a unitary conscious awareness for something new, the unspeakable and unknowable.
As I went deeper I decided to grab my mp3 player which also has a recorder function. I wanted to record everything as I saw it. I told them that I won't reveal anything, how can I? At that stage it was like the body was being inflicted with more pain.
I turn on the mp3 player, the sound of Krishnamurti's voice vibrated through the speaker. I had last listened to this track and now it was continuing. I was quickly fiddling through while still completely aware, with the one goal that I needed to record everything in detail, everything that was taking place.
My fingers stopped moving as I listened to Krishnamurti, what felt like for the first time.
As this played I looked at the ceiling, everything around me, to what was really occurring. The parts of what I had considered the ceiling light, the play of the light and shadows in the room clearly observing all around me at the same time listening to the crucial moment in the track titled 'holistic observation' like it was all planned out a set up organised specifically for this experience.
I have been listening to Krishnamurti's talks and reading his material for the past 2 years on and off and for the first time I realised he was describing completely this awareness. He was not merely just discussing mans problems and issues and what was required from each of us - he was talking from the awareness that is our natural state.
Every spoken word luminously described what I was seeing and yet to bring those words to what is now considered the ordinary state of mind is like reading a language without knowing it's definition. I have done that, I have learnt Arabic, how to read it but not knowing the definitions of the words I was reading. You can learn a new language, how to read and write it, how to connect vowels with consonants to make up a word but not knowing the definition of these words.
I guess you can say when I was reading Krishnamurti's words I was reading - the definition I found in the direct perception of this awareness.
Here I was with a holistic observation, everything was vibrating to the sound coming out of the player. In a moment I'm going to transcribe the section of the audio that I was listening to.
Krishnamurti transcription (from, transcript, video):
"Until we understand that and go into it very deeply and discover total order, we shall always have disorder in the world. So a serious person is not easily dissuaded from the pursuit of understanding, the pursuit of delving deeply into himself, into his consciousness, not easily persuaded by amusement and entertainment which is perhaps sometimes necessary pursuing consistently every day into the nature of man, that is, into himself, observing what is actually going on within himself. From that observation, action takes place. It is not: what shall I do as a separate human being but an action which comes out of total holistic observation of life. Holistic observation is a healthy, sane, rational, logical, perception that is whole, which is holy. Is it possible for a human being, like any one of us who are laymen, not specialists, laymen, is it possible for him to look at the contradictory, confusing consciousness as a whole; or must he look at each part of it separately?"
I had too deeply listen to this track - in that state it was profound.
I was so completely in that state, I think Krishnamurti lived in this state without ever becoming fractured, all his talks were directed from this state of awareness.
I started to once again fiddle with the recorder wishing to accurately describe everything that was occurring - more importantly my understandings, the insights.
As I speak in the recorder the weather has calmed down and throughout it feels as all that happens because of that state, the sky cleared up and appeared blue and luminous, the light that poured in only added to the life brimming all around me.
Audio track lasts 30 mins:
you don't want this recorded...
....a break whilst I try to gather whether to record it or not....this took near around 8 minutes until finally I spoke...
It's somewhere around us, the thing that we're seeking. Something is different and I...see around me as real, what I really am...Krishnamurti was right.................the awareness is here...........I can tell you what it's like, not allowed to share...........only what they say and they are not saying anything..........I'm not allowed to share this.
Why? Why can't I share this with the other parts?
I have to stop pretending to be real, stop acting stop liking and enjoying things. not supposed to like things or enjoy (I think they're referring to my recent highs). But why?
It is not that you're not supposed to like things, desire things it is just that this is what makes you hold on to that state of mind that makes things appear real...it covers up, the desire, thoughts and wants a...
have to stop- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh they're doing something to the body. Feet has an unpleasant sensation.
Pain..............just trying to handle it.
I whisper I'm not sharing anything anyways...
The most beautiful thing was the way it played out so beautifully, cinema worthy - so brilliantly put together - it is this mastery that needs to be captured in the movie.
It's amazing, how am I to put something like that in a movie.
I never got to see it by the way, the main thing, (the great secret Salvianauts mention) - it was hiding by the appearances before me. It was just about peering over me as if to look at me from.. hidden by all these things... thing that I'm looking for.. didn't look down...they were masking it.
Oh my god, if the others hear me they'll think I'm crazy...I see it now.
Everything that happens, everything around us the change of light...It's not some other world, like some distant place...you think you're going somewhere travelling onto the other place, right here it's always been here, there's no transporting no vehicle to get on to see what's already here.
The ceiling the play of the sun light - its really dramatic, almost.. almost feels like when someone watches a movie for the first time on a cinema screen...this is wow...being in the movie...seeing for yourself how amazing, in the movie as a character suddenly ..I don't know get taken over by the role then you just wake up to the setting the thing that made the light, the thing that made the wind appear as that..
....garbled mumblings... Krishnamurti track, how it just came out, that was just so........., coming back slowly...
...they can do things to the body , and the body isn't what we think it is but being back here in the body they can actually....ohaha uh! put me in pain ..they can cause the body to have some kind of pain uggh! I'm not allowed to divulge any kind of secret but I have just outlined something that..
What I've just outlined here I'm not going to share so fully........because I can't. How can I share this, I can't share this - I only hope someone experiences it.
Okay...so it is not real...our little drama. Like Krishnamurti has said...we're not looking with that consciousness...Oh my god! how it came about that understanding how everything was just so seamless I can't say anything more..
I promised them I won't tell and even if I were to tell what would anybody understand anyways. Krishnamurti did it, he described everything. He was describing it, oh my god he described it! He did it, he was using ordinary words, he sat there talking, talking on and on about it and nobody sees it. He described it.
They've pinched my nose I don't care
My nose is so stuffed they're changing something, I'm not even telling anyone about the secret, catching my breath.....what are you doing? sniff....sniff....sniffles ok oh my god they've stuffed up my nose they stuffed up my breathing and it's not just the breathing they've just changed the way the body operates wow wow wow.....I can feel sensations in the legs I can feel movement...
What I got earlier on from the very start of this experience:
don't take things for real, don't take experiences for real the things we do, don't take them for real it's desires and thoughts it not like its something bad that these things stop us from spiritual growth/experience and understanding.
It's these desires, these thoughts shroud you in blindness everything that makes you blind is just dirt it's just things and I'm watching it in live stream.
The cloud dissipating, the sky is blue now the suns out I'm not getting up I'm not opening my blinds I'm just looking at the light coming through.
I guess you could say...I'm not going to try look at what it is...that I didn't get to see what was hidden by them, it was not that it was hidden by them and there was one thing, that it was hidden...
There's a good reason for the hiding keeping it secret, why people can't see it. Is there a reason? is there a reason to hide something that is right in our face anyways, its just there all along?
I never ... I didn't just see it, I just saw with that consciousness, oh my god... Krishnamurti described it all, he says the description isn't the described, the described isn't the description something like that something isn't something.
Just what he was saying that it was so seamless with what I was experiencing all was unfolding... Oh my... this mp3 player has Krishnamurti stored in it and his words as it vibrated out of the player and how it was just seamlessly stitched into this part of the garment, I can see the pattern unfolding.
I can't describe this I'm not even sharing the way it is meant to be shared.
The movie...oh please... the movie has to be that this movie at least uncovers that part, the seamlessness, this uncovering is important.
It's amazing, amazing to see what he spoke of whilst it was unfolding right before my eyes as the track was playing, he was spot on, every little detail, every little bit.
The peception is closing now, but the sensations are there the physical body sensations, the light flickering, the sky, the light, the way the lighting was percieved how the sky clouds, how it moved.
Have to recall this need to not take things seriously, see the drama don't get caught up in the role. This was the most crucial understanding. The dreams the desires the thoughts, do not get absorbed...
In the playing field recently things that have happened my highs the things that have excited me being caught up...
I was supposed to close my eyes, relax, not grab my recorder not record anything they can end the process.
It is up to this other state, this other state determines what happens here physically, what happens there is what is taking place here. It's there but here, it's here in the physical surrounding there's a way to see it all...
We need to have this awareness, but it's not a matter of getting it or attaining it , we're not trying to get something, it's already here but because we are all so taken over by everything dreams, thoughts, desires and how it all just creates this strong grip tying us down.
I hope this is recording, looking down on the player 29 minutes... it so happens that they can make this not record..they would make sure it doesn't leak out there is something though and it didn't come, it didn't look - it wasn't making an appearance.. it's here, it's with us they can't even hide it.
The secret isn't even hidden...that's the secret...it's not even hiding...
End of audio.
When I get time I will put up a transcription of Krishnamurti's talks, the section that unfolded with this experience.
Sunday 27 October 2013
The Signal
This has been picking on my mind. I had an experience with Salvia some time ago that has returned to the surface which I recall vividly, will provide link when I find it.
Basically in the experience I perceived to be as usual my real self, but I had connected with all the self of what seemed like the entire of mankind. Every living being at that time was uniting as one singular awareness. As this occurred there was a signal, can't recall how the signal came about whether I heard it or felt it - there was definitely another sense - perhaps it was all senses operating at the same time.
All I knew was the signal was important, and it doesn't occur just in that state even in our ordinary physical consciousness something is emitting this signal - only problem is nobody is actually tuning in let alone listening. I think something like this was shown in the movie Contact.
The important part is that everyone united in this way hears it at the same time, it seems this is essential. I believe this signal may be the same signal Robert Monroe was referring to in his later books. Will provide an excerpt later. I think there's also The Ringing Cedars series where Anastasia makes a reference to this signal.
You might consider that because I read books and watched a movie referring to this signal my mind is playing tricks and bringing that to the surface. But consider this, the clues are left in the things we see in everyday life as if someone deliberately left them there.
I intend to explore with Salvia again when the time feels right. One thing I have noticed is that each time I'm there they always ask what I wish for, somehow they want me to produce thoughts that is requesting something of them. It is as though they can't do anything until I ask a question or make some kind of statement. I am left confused when this happen especially when the ego is lurking there like a shadow - the phantom in the room and naturally from here I make unusual requests things that baffle them they cannot compute when the request is made from my limited ego sense. A fluctuation between real self and ego.
When I am fully my actual self no questions arise, nothing arises it is almost as if everything is perfect and there is a sense of all things being hopeless here in our physical world drama.
I need to play around with this. One thing that I have to do when taking Salvia is let my mind be completely still, the silence itself is like an invisibility cloak so I'm hoping the entities will not be paying much attention - have to go beyond them.
The difficult part is not letting the ego suddenly take over, but it has its place. I don't think the ego is a menace to get rid of, but it needs to lose its sense of importance and governance over the realm of thoughts.
I have to come back with the ineffability of the experience and the ego which is simply a thought process needs to rearrange itself according to that so that when the transference occurs words are not lost in symbols.
Basically in the experience I perceived to be as usual my real self, but I had connected with all the self of what seemed like the entire of mankind. Every living being at that time was uniting as one singular awareness. As this occurred there was a signal, can't recall how the signal came about whether I heard it or felt it - there was definitely another sense - perhaps it was all senses operating at the same time.
All I knew was the signal was important, and it doesn't occur just in that state even in our ordinary physical consciousness something is emitting this signal - only problem is nobody is actually tuning in let alone listening. I think something like this was shown in the movie Contact.
The important part is that everyone united in this way hears it at the same time, it seems this is essential. I believe this signal may be the same signal Robert Monroe was referring to in his later books. Will provide an excerpt later. I think there's also The Ringing Cedars series where Anastasia makes a reference to this signal.
You might consider that because I read books and watched a movie referring to this signal my mind is playing tricks and bringing that to the surface. But consider this, the clues are left in the things we see in everyday life as if someone deliberately left them there.
I intend to explore with Salvia again when the time feels right. One thing I have noticed is that each time I'm there they always ask what I wish for, somehow they want me to produce thoughts that is requesting something of them. It is as though they can't do anything until I ask a question or make some kind of statement. I am left confused when this happen especially when the ego is lurking there like a shadow - the phantom in the room and naturally from here I make unusual requests things that baffle them they cannot compute when the request is made from my limited ego sense. A fluctuation between real self and ego.
When I am fully my actual self no questions arise, nothing arises it is almost as if everything is perfect and there is a sense of all things being hopeless here in our physical world drama.
I need to play around with this. One thing that I have to do when taking Salvia is let my mind be completely still, the silence itself is like an invisibility cloak so I'm hoping the entities will not be paying much attention - have to go beyond them.
The difficult part is not letting the ego suddenly take over, but it has its place. I don't think the ego is a menace to get rid of, but it needs to lose its sense of importance and governance over the realm of thoughts.
I have to come back with the ineffability of the experience and the ego which is simply a thought process needs to rearrange itself according to that so that when the transference occurs words are not lost in symbols.
Saturday 26 October 2013
Powerful Intentions for the Dream
I wish I could record the thoughts that come spontaneously in live stream.
This morning I got into a discussion with my sister regarding a dream me and my other sisters have. It is a family project, they don't realize it but I'm actually using it as an experiment.
The discussion made me realize something as we etched out the plans, we were deliberately each adding to the dream. Talking about it each step of the way and it is something that we all see as solid, and I'm surprised how positive they have been. The positive energy is charging it in a way we each see it as something that is done, already exists as a potential that only needs to manifest.
So we were doing a lot of talking but at the same time something else was going on in the mind. Another layer screening through, there I thought about dreams and how they manifest. Our dream (me and the sisters) started off with a thought and it spread out, and as it takes shape I see the ripple effects and I see that the dream itself is some kind of effect from another dream.
The seed is planted and the roots have established yet from here I see not only the trunk but the branches, twigs leaves and even the fruits of that tree. but for both of us it wasn't that it was an outcome to take place in some future time, it exists now.
I see how the story of the past actively contributed to the outcome as if interwoven within the dream. We both saw how each of our skill sets were meant to be, that what we were involved with in the past has contributed to what we are now doing. How everyone involved right now had to go through a particular phase in order for this probability to manifest, to make its appearance. That is what the little dream is, a probabilitiy out of the pool of inifinite probabilities.
All the things unfolding was like a jigsaw puzzles - the pieces are connecting creating the bigger picture.
It's really like seeing the process of karma face to face or another adequate description would be seeing the domino effect, or the ripple effect.
Our conversation was the general mundane stuff most people discuss but I was learning something very significant from it.
It got deeper when I mentioned how its so important that what we do, contributes somehow to mankind. We don't want to establish ourselves only to live a lavish lifestyle, it must mean something more than that. She responded immediately with the idea of setting up a charity, her and another sister have already decided on this. Their aim being to help those stuck in poverty, to help the sick and especially to do something about the corruption in third world countries in order to alleviate the suffering of these poor people. She mentioned that her desire was to set a school up in a particular third world country to give opportunity to these poor souls a chance to get educated. My honest opinion is, wow! don't we already have thousands if not a million of these and how have they helped?
I couldn't understand it, it was almost as if I was seriously being tested. Here was a do gooder, and I think this quality is naturally built in with all beings, to help alleviate the suffering of the world. It is a worthy cause the charities spoken of but only if you look at the surface. I wasn't looking at the surface, going deeper into it I saw that these actions no matter how well meaning they appear only actively contributed to the problem. Outwardly you will see some significant improvement - someone somewhere just might not starve for at least one night, someone might get educated and so on. But deep down it was contributing to the problem at large. And the problem at large is this, that humans do not even know what the problem or condition is, they do not even know what they are suffering from.
The human suffering is this - not knowing who we are and pretending to be something we are not. This is the only suffering and all else a delusion created by our false characters, the roles we play.
So how do I myself help others now understanding my own condition, having seen what the condition is and knowing who I really am - how do I help others see it, and help them break through their own suffering.
I only get glimpses of this, it does not remain. My condition somehow takes over again, think of it as a cancer relapse.
Yet when the veil lifts for even just a second, I am cured of everything - nothing can perturb the mind. This is the original state, our natural state and there is no denying it.
This is just a mini dream version of the big dream.
You know the big dream in which we are all characters, this dream has many layers of other dreams each dream having some kind of ripple effect.There is something calling now, it seems to be coming from the big dream to emit something through the little dream and focusing on the probabilities I saw a potential, a probability that if manifested can awaken mankind.
I read another blog about Salvia experiences and randomly going through the post there was mention of a movie, the desire for Hollywood movie depicting the Salvia state.
I had a similar desire, an urge to have the effects of Salvia somehow portrayed in a movie at that time nothing solid was thought of it, it was a bubble of thought not yet pulsating with life. Now my absolute desire is this, to make a movie that will not be about awakening it most likely will not even be about Salvia but the effect of watching it will be equivalent of a Salvia trip, the equivalent to waking up.
Honestly, I see this now that my current intentions, the dream with which I'm starting is headed in this direction. The metaphorical fruit that I see on the tree is this movie.
This morning I got into a discussion with my sister regarding a dream me and my other sisters have. It is a family project, they don't realize it but I'm actually using it as an experiment.
The discussion made me realize something as we etched out the plans, we were deliberately each adding to the dream. Talking about it each step of the way and it is something that we all see as solid, and I'm surprised how positive they have been. The positive energy is charging it in a way we each see it as something that is done, already exists as a potential that only needs to manifest.
So we were doing a lot of talking but at the same time something else was going on in the mind. Another layer screening through, there I thought about dreams and how they manifest. Our dream (me and the sisters) started off with a thought and it spread out, and as it takes shape I see the ripple effects and I see that the dream itself is some kind of effect from another dream.
The seed is planted and the roots have established yet from here I see not only the trunk but the branches, twigs leaves and even the fruits of that tree. but for both of us it wasn't that it was an outcome to take place in some future time, it exists now.
I see how the story of the past actively contributed to the outcome as if interwoven within the dream. We both saw how each of our skill sets were meant to be, that what we were involved with in the past has contributed to what we are now doing. How everyone involved right now had to go through a particular phase in order for this probability to manifest, to make its appearance. That is what the little dream is, a probabilitiy out of the pool of inifinite probabilities.
All the things unfolding was like a jigsaw puzzles - the pieces are connecting creating the bigger picture.
It's really like seeing the process of karma face to face or another adequate description would be seeing the domino effect, or the ripple effect.
Our conversation was the general mundane stuff most people discuss but I was learning something very significant from it.
It got deeper when I mentioned how its so important that what we do, contributes somehow to mankind. We don't want to establish ourselves only to live a lavish lifestyle, it must mean something more than that. She responded immediately with the idea of setting up a charity, her and another sister have already decided on this. Their aim being to help those stuck in poverty, to help the sick and especially to do something about the corruption in third world countries in order to alleviate the suffering of these poor people. She mentioned that her desire was to set a school up in a particular third world country to give opportunity to these poor souls a chance to get educated. My honest opinion is, wow! don't we already have thousands if not a million of these and how have they helped?
I couldn't understand it, it was almost as if I was seriously being tested. Here was a do gooder, and I think this quality is naturally built in with all beings, to help alleviate the suffering of the world. It is a worthy cause the charities spoken of but only if you look at the surface. I wasn't looking at the surface, going deeper into it I saw that these actions no matter how well meaning they appear only actively contributed to the problem. Outwardly you will see some significant improvement - someone somewhere just might not starve for at least one night, someone might get educated and so on. But deep down it was contributing to the problem at large. And the problem at large is this, that humans do not even know what the problem or condition is, they do not even know what they are suffering from.
The human suffering is this - not knowing who we are and pretending to be something we are not. This is the only suffering and all else a delusion created by our false characters, the roles we play.
So how do I myself help others now understanding my own condition, having seen what the condition is and knowing who I really am - how do I help others see it, and help them break through their own suffering.
I only get glimpses of this, it does not remain. My condition somehow takes over again, think of it as a cancer relapse.
Yet when the veil lifts for even just a second, I am cured of everything - nothing can perturb the mind. This is the original state, our natural state and there is no denying it.
This is just a mini dream version of the big dream.
You know the big dream in which we are all characters, this dream has many layers of other dreams each dream having some kind of ripple effect.There is something calling now, it seems to be coming from the big dream to emit something through the little dream and focusing on the probabilities I saw a potential, a probability that if manifested can awaken mankind.
I read another blog about Salvia experiences and randomly going through the post there was mention of a movie, the desire for Hollywood movie depicting the Salvia state.
I had a similar desire, an urge to have the effects of Salvia somehow portrayed in a movie at that time nothing solid was thought of it, it was a bubble of thought not yet pulsating with life. Now my absolute desire is this, to make a movie that will not be about awakening it most likely will not even be about Salvia but the effect of watching it will be equivalent of a Salvia trip, the equivalent to waking up.
Honestly, I see this now that my current intentions, the dream with which I'm starting is headed in this direction. The metaphorical fruit that I see on the tree is this movie.
Friday 25 October 2013
Intruder Alert!
I was wondering whether to write about this.
I read up on a few Salvia trips, one person claiming that there are a few individuals who observe people online, maybe see how much they know, these same individuals can also observe you in your actual physical space perhaps even directly through your physical body.
I feel such an individual may have shown up.
First there is a discussion going on in another blog - about the reality that we see being a fictional story with fictional characters. Now suppose each fictional character is played by an actor - and this actor is the real person behind the character. When in the drama we forget that it is all an act and then it so happens that a few individuals raise their awareness and wake up to who they really are, to such a degree that they know a few tricks and they teach their characters certain skills - in a sense they master their role.
I have had an experience before, where I encountered a woman from the consensus reality. She stared at me with an expression of extreme shock. I later learned that in a salvia excursion she had thought I was a disincarnate spirit. It was only later that I once again encountered her in a salvia trip which cleared a lot of confusion for the both of us. I've known that I can bump into others like this, but I expected these to be almost accidental.
I never imagined that I would encounter anyone who observed me physically, my guess online and actually this individual may have deliberately arranged to hijack my space. Lets just say I met the actor, I sensed it was a male, who is able to go back to his role as the character he is playing in the dream or drama and register all the details he got of the character I have assumed - not only that I am sure he knows how to come back in my space.
A Salvianaut or astralnaut or whatever, I don't care - next time you knock before you enter! Maybe I should take these words back considering I have done quite a bit of intruding my self but these have made me feel quite uncomfortable at times.
Here are the details of what occurred.
By 10:40 am I had chewed two teaspoon of rehydrated crumbled Salvia. I had awareness of my real true identity but there was also a blending of the character here - so I am wearing the mask and a bit of this character I portray here remains there. I relaxed deeper this time. Past two days eating very little and managed to fast for 13 hours, the body works have been a little stronger and vigorous.
As I relaxed those beings were present, mostly familiar but this time I was trying to understand whether they are peoploids or what as I'm not quite familiar with the salvia terms used. Then a being entered much like these forms - they are gigantic and they do not just appear through closed eyelids but open eyes as well - I think maybe they are in my eyes so that whether I close or open them I see them. With open eyes it feels like they are bleeding through the material world.
They appear huddled together, all observe me but in general there is a knowing that occurs. They look like humans but there is not that solid kind of appearance and color is usually different shades of one, they look very much 2d and fluid movements. This part is important I perceive them more than I actually visually see them, another way of seeing.
It feels to me these are the same ones that can also form into moving shadows and other forms. I will observe them in more detail next time.
Suddenly I feel another form storming in, urgently as if to capture something before it's gone. I sense this individual is male in the earth plane. He is very curious looking all around and I immediately have this sense that he has been observing me online. This individual here has made a deliberate attempt to visit and I had this undeniable knowing that he has indeed been watching.
I've understood a few things, he has been doing this for some time, is able to consciously do this maybe without the use of Salvia. My head went a little crazy last night, the movements a lot more stronger shaking almost violently and breathing has been quite shallow - feeling breathless and full lungs at the same time. My lungs can't hold this much oxygen.
I read up on a few Salvia trips, one person claiming that there are a few individuals who observe people online, maybe see how much they know, these same individuals can also observe you in your actual physical space perhaps even directly through your physical body.
I feel such an individual may have shown up.
First there is a discussion going on in another blog - about the reality that we see being a fictional story with fictional characters. Now suppose each fictional character is played by an actor - and this actor is the real person behind the character. When in the drama we forget that it is all an act and then it so happens that a few individuals raise their awareness and wake up to who they really are, to such a degree that they know a few tricks and they teach their characters certain skills - in a sense they master their role.
I have had an experience before, where I encountered a woman from the consensus reality. She stared at me with an expression of extreme shock. I later learned that in a salvia excursion she had thought I was a disincarnate spirit. It was only later that I once again encountered her in a salvia trip which cleared a lot of confusion for the both of us. I've known that I can bump into others like this, but I expected these to be almost accidental.
I never imagined that I would encounter anyone who observed me physically, my guess online and actually this individual may have deliberately arranged to hijack my space. Lets just say I met the actor, I sensed it was a male, who is able to go back to his role as the character he is playing in the dream or drama and register all the details he got of the character I have assumed - not only that I am sure he knows how to come back in my space.
A Salvianaut or astralnaut or whatever, I don't care - next time you knock before you enter! Maybe I should take these words back considering I have done quite a bit of intruding my self but these have made me feel quite uncomfortable at times.
Here are the details of what occurred.
By 10:40 am I had chewed two teaspoon of rehydrated crumbled Salvia. I had awareness of my real true identity but there was also a blending of the character here - so I am wearing the mask and a bit of this character I portray here remains there. I relaxed deeper this time. Past two days eating very little and managed to fast for 13 hours, the body works have been a little stronger and vigorous.
As I relaxed those beings were present, mostly familiar but this time I was trying to understand whether they are peoploids or what as I'm not quite familiar with the salvia terms used. Then a being entered much like these forms - they are gigantic and they do not just appear through closed eyelids but open eyes as well - I think maybe they are in my eyes so that whether I close or open them I see them. With open eyes it feels like they are bleeding through the material world.
They appear huddled together, all observe me but in general there is a knowing that occurs. They look like humans but there is not that solid kind of appearance and color is usually different shades of one, they look very much 2d and fluid movements. This part is important I perceive them more than I actually visually see them, another way of seeing.
It feels to me these are the same ones that can also form into moving shadows and other forms. I will observe them in more detail next time.
Suddenly I feel another form storming in, urgently as if to capture something before it's gone. I sense this individual is male in the earth plane. He is very curious looking all around and I immediately have this sense that he has been observing me online. This individual here has made a deliberate attempt to visit and I had this undeniable knowing that he has indeed been watching.
I've understood a few things, he has been doing this for some time, is able to consciously do this maybe without the use of Salvia. My head went a little crazy last night, the movements a lot more stronger shaking almost violently and breathing has been quite shallow - feeling breathless and full lungs at the same time. My lungs can't hold this much oxygen.
Tuesday 22 October 2013
Winter Fasting and Body Works
I intend to fast during winter time, but not for long durations. Initially will try a few days at a time. Just drink water. During this time I need to consume easily digestable foods, stay away from sugar entirely which includes fruits. Meditate and simply relax.
I absolutely must make time for the Body Works. This is the most important part of the process. I have been going through a whole lot of changes these past few years which involved transforming diet but the Body Works allows the body to take care of itself without the aid of consuming food.
I absolutely must make time for the Body Works. This is the most important part of the process. I have been going through a whole lot of changes these past few years which involved transforming diet but the Body Works allows the body to take care of itself without the aid of consuming food.
Clarity of the Senses
The Head Process
I think right now a lot of the work is taking place directly around the head region. Head is constantly bouncing and bopping. Last night, went to bed early and let the energy do its thing. Head rotations and sudden jolt like shifting left and right as if shaking something off. Soon drifted off and then an hour later I awakened to hear external music.
The sounds outside were producing a melody and I was absorbed in the clarity of this reception. The surrounding was crystal clear, HD quality.
Again this morning gave some time to just be aware of the motions. I relaxed and the same head movements, going a little deeper this time felt some intense sensations on the left side of face. A deep kind of tingling almost orgasmic. The sole of my left foot felt like it was being pierced with sharp pains, some of it in the knee cap and tailbone thumping and rocking. I guess the left side is being worked on.
Pressures building up and some minor shakes this morning. I felt like I lost awareness of what was taking place and when I opened eyes it was just a few minutes.
I really need to make some time for this, everyday maybe even dedicate a whole day. The many distractions of life just get in the way and I quickly forget that this body is going through a process and needs some genuine alone time where there is no doing and complete surrender.
I think right now a lot of the work is taking place directly around the head region. Head is constantly bouncing and bopping. Last night, went to bed early and let the energy do its thing. Head rotations and sudden jolt like shifting left and right as if shaking something off. Soon drifted off and then an hour later I awakened to hear external music.
The sounds outside were producing a melody and I was absorbed in the clarity of this reception. The surrounding was crystal clear, HD quality.
Again this morning gave some time to just be aware of the motions. I relaxed and the same head movements, going a little deeper this time felt some intense sensations on the left side of face. A deep kind of tingling almost orgasmic. The sole of my left foot felt like it was being pierced with sharp pains, some of it in the knee cap and tailbone thumping and rocking. I guess the left side is being worked on.
Pressures building up and some minor shakes this morning. I felt like I lost awareness of what was taking place and when I opened eyes it was just a few minutes.
I really need to make some time for this, everyday maybe even dedicate a whole day. The many distractions of life just get in the way and I quickly forget that this body is going through a process and needs some genuine alone time where there is no doing and complete surrender.
Monday 21 October 2013
Morning Salvia Fasting Insights
This morning I soaked a small amount and accidentally transferred
some Salvia in a mug which I had thought was empty, it had water sitting
in there for a few days.
So the dose was reduced a bit more but I'm thinking this was no accident. The dose was a significant amount. Things like this are occuring more and more or I am noticing their significance. Everything that occurs feels to be the Self's mysterious work.
As I chew faces are more visible around me - there is a plastic bag just hanging out from behind a drawer and on it are extreme amount of detailed faces, vivid alive and moving.
I am connecting with others who make up the fabric of reality. The immediate surroundings which includes the physical body is brimming with life force.
Deep understandings come to me. Energy systems of what we know as cancer and other diseases are present. I feel the body heating up and trying to understand the energy near me. There is no fear on my part. My feet is especially hot, this can be likened to a detox. There were also sharp pains of things shifting. They were looking at me, waiting for me to open my eyes. I did so and at some point noticed that I controlled their movement - it was all me.
Eventually let the pains play out, smiled at them showing them that I was fine and can handle it. I might have been a little concerned, what if they needed to know when I felt pain so they don't overdo it? I honestly am unaware about the body's capacity to handle an instant transformation like this. One point I just showed them I was in a little pain and then smiled again. They must think I am weird.
I understood something about the current lifestyle choices I was making, one being on a high raw food diet. I had the realization that I could skip the process entirely and simply request the same energy or energy systems that people were using via incorporating a healthy diet.
It isn't that the raw food diet was healing me these past few years but rather changing the general makeup of how I subconsciously related with food and how this effected the body. It was changing those disruptive patterns of thinking that eventually led to unhealthy eating patterns. In a sense I was working it in reverse. It all boils down to thought. But thought has it's place and is simply a tool that shapes material reality.
The cells of the body are transforming. There is something pumped in the intestines, my abdominal organs begins to inflate. I am aware that I have to fast for the changes to occur smoothly. The body can be manipulated - not in terms of just movement but actual shape shifting. The colors of my eyes, even the shape of my head was able to instantly just transform.
I also received insights about connecting with others, and this is not the first time however I am being reminded on how to do this - once again so easy yet I keep forgetting.
Regarding fasting, this may be a little tough as this year I have picked up on quite a few addictions and then there's several projects that need my attention. I may explore on calling forth, it's more like greeting actually, the energies required for this rather than constantly thinking I need to eat a little more to have enough energy to carry out my tasks.
Sleep, rest, drink and fast. And play with these energies.
So the dose was reduced a bit more but I'm thinking this was no accident. The dose was a significant amount. Things like this are occuring more and more or I am noticing their significance. Everything that occurs feels to be the Self's mysterious work.
As I chew faces are more visible around me - there is a plastic bag just hanging out from behind a drawer and on it are extreme amount of detailed faces, vivid alive and moving.
I am connecting with others who make up the fabric of reality. The immediate surroundings which includes the physical body is brimming with life force.
Deep understandings come to me. Energy systems of what we know as cancer and other diseases are present. I feel the body heating up and trying to understand the energy near me. There is no fear on my part. My feet is especially hot, this can be likened to a detox. There were also sharp pains of things shifting. They were looking at me, waiting for me to open my eyes. I did so and at some point noticed that I controlled their movement - it was all me.
Eventually let the pains play out, smiled at them showing them that I was fine and can handle it. I might have been a little concerned, what if they needed to know when I felt pain so they don't overdo it? I honestly am unaware about the body's capacity to handle an instant transformation like this. One point I just showed them I was in a little pain and then smiled again. They must think I am weird.
I understood something about the current lifestyle choices I was making, one being on a high raw food diet. I had the realization that I could skip the process entirely and simply request the same energy or energy systems that people were using via incorporating a healthy diet.
It isn't that the raw food diet was healing me these past few years but rather changing the general makeup of how I subconsciously related with food and how this effected the body. It was changing those disruptive patterns of thinking that eventually led to unhealthy eating patterns. In a sense I was working it in reverse. It all boils down to thought. But thought has it's place and is simply a tool that shapes material reality.
The cells of the body are transforming. There is something pumped in the intestines, my abdominal organs begins to inflate. I am aware that I have to fast for the changes to occur smoothly. The body can be manipulated - not in terms of just movement but actual shape shifting. The colors of my eyes, even the shape of my head was able to instantly just transform.
I also received insights about connecting with others, and this is not the first time however I am being reminded on how to do this - once again so easy yet I keep forgetting.
Regarding fasting, this may be a little tough as this year I have picked up on quite a few addictions and then there's several projects that need my attention. I may explore on calling forth, it's more like greeting actually, the energies required for this rather than constantly thinking I need to eat a little more to have enough energy to carry out my tasks.
Sleep, rest, drink and fast. And play with these energies.
Sunday 20 October 2013
Salvia Divinorum Experience Pt 2.
Several hours later, maybe around 4pm I chew the remaining dose of Salvia Divinorum leaf.
This time quietly resting on my back I relax and immediately the shift takes place. I go deep.
They come through the blood, the veins and arteries all bulging and they're moving. Beings of the blood.
Thoughts that outflow from me are powerful they are instructions must be clear and cautious with the thoughts not only in that state but also in the ordinary state, it is just in that state manifestation can be instantaneous - so you have to be very careful, think of someone's head to fall off and it would happen.
My brain was heating up, the sounds getting intense. I felt the inner world movement and how it correlated with the outer movement. The sounds got intense to a point where as I got lost in them something inside the stomach inflated and it was producing a sound.
That magnificent presence was there, I think it is always there it is simply a matter of being aware. It was extraordinary, having penetrated my entire surrounding I felt it was telling me to request something, to ask for anything my heart desired or wished and it would be. Everything around me had taken up a different quality.
I thought deeply, I was sort of rushing because this perception does not last long. I thought for a moment about how I would like to be free from a few responsibilities and how I thought only money could give me access to that possibility. So I asked for a big windfall of money to come my way.
Then I felt how daft it was to ask for such a small thing, even the beings around me were perplexed. Here I am in the midst of the Highest, most absolute Divine presence and all I can ask from it are some bank notes! It was like mining for jewels only to take away rubble. I changed my request to the wish for super powers. How very common of me, money and power. I think we all seek it, and it has its attractions portraying itself as freedom. Yet freedom is right beneath our feet.
Confused not sure at all what I wanted I remained humble and silent. Looking up at the ceiling now, this vast magnificent glorious luminous presence was too big to be concentrated in the form of just one being. It engulfed the entire space around me, its presence was deep inside everything.
I could feel it, perception almost closing down. I cried out begging it, to please stop me from going blind again. Asking it to not let this perception shut down.
I asked for it to help me see with this eye permanently and once again if I should fall asleep in a slumber, to awaken me.
Why is it that it disappears, not the presence but the awareness? Is it that this physical world has this much power over the mind that it subdues our true sight? Or the mind holds sway over the world that we don't see the real for real?
This time quietly resting on my back I relax and immediately the shift takes place. I go deep.
They come through the blood, the veins and arteries all bulging and they're moving. Beings of the blood.
Thoughts that outflow from me are powerful they are instructions must be clear and cautious with the thoughts not only in that state but also in the ordinary state, it is just in that state manifestation can be instantaneous - so you have to be very careful, think of someone's head to fall off and it would happen.
My brain was heating up, the sounds getting intense. I felt the inner world movement and how it correlated with the outer movement. The sounds got intense to a point where as I got lost in them something inside the stomach inflated and it was producing a sound.
That magnificent presence was there, I think it is always there it is simply a matter of being aware. It was extraordinary, having penetrated my entire surrounding I felt it was telling me to request something, to ask for anything my heart desired or wished and it would be. Everything around me had taken up a different quality.
I thought deeply, I was sort of rushing because this perception does not last long. I thought for a moment about how I would like to be free from a few responsibilities and how I thought only money could give me access to that possibility. So I asked for a big windfall of money to come my way.
Then I felt how daft it was to ask for such a small thing, even the beings around me were perplexed. Here I am in the midst of the Highest, most absolute Divine presence and all I can ask from it are some bank notes! It was like mining for jewels only to take away rubble. I changed my request to the wish for super powers. How very common of me, money and power. I think we all seek it, and it has its attractions portraying itself as freedom. Yet freedom is right beneath our feet.
Confused not sure at all what I wanted I remained humble and silent. Looking up at the ceiling now, this vast magnificent glorious luminous presence was too big to be concentrated in the form of just one being. It engulfed the entire space around me, its presence was deep inside everything.
I could feel it, perception almost closing down. I cried out begging it, to please stop me from going blind again. Asking it to not let this perception shut down.
I asked for it to help me see with this eye permanently and once again if I should fall asleep in a slumber, to awaken me.
Why is it that it disappears, not the presence but the awareness? Is it that this physical world has this much power over the mind that it subdues our true sight? Or the mind holds sway over the world that we don't see the real for real?
Saturday 19 October 2013
Salvia Divinorum Experience Pt 1.
I haven't used Salvia in ages now, can't remember my last experience or perhaps I just buried it somewhere deep.
The leaves that arrived in the post were disappointing - all crumbled up finely. I managed to rehydrate it and strain. The dose was twice what I actually needed.
As I chewed, the feelings had changed. Transitioning to that other state, breathing body elasticity external changing. Becoming deeply aware of the inner world. Movements of beings in my surrounding being watched through my eyelids through that other sight which some might call Third Eye or Eye of Truth.
I can hear my siblings in the other room, their voices louder entering the ears. I could sense baby nephew was in the room. Like all babies he is special and has the ability to see with this eye of truth which with the roughening and the conditioning of todays society gets diminished.
He was making a sound and somehow because I could hear it these Beings followed the movement, and I felt that everything around me was extending from deep within me and they were traveling in these extensions. They were observing me at the same time awareness arising from within him my nephew. They were peering down at the baby but I was aware of them through him.
I was listening more clearly to my siblings and had this strange feeling they were talking about me. I got up slightly agitated I looked up at them almost stumbling over, doing a bit of power play now.
I get in the room, clearly I had interrupted something. My nephew is on the bed and approaching him I observe them around the room. He is at the stage where he is learning to crawl. With great urgency he tries on several occasions to lift himself up. Eventually I help him up. After a short while I carry him. Behaving very much normally and then I speak to him quietly and there is a moment where he is silent and gazes into my eyes.
Several times he peers over behind me as if playing with invisible friends, I know he sees them clearly and perhaps understands something with the same clarity.
I am still under the effects as I walk around with him but did not pay much attention to the others, in fact forgot about them.
Later I tried it once again - continued in my next post.
The leaves that arrived in the post were disappointing - all crumbled up finely. I managed to rehydrate it and strain. The dose was twice what I actually needed.
As I chewed, the feelings had changed. Transitioning to that other state, breathing body elasticity external changing. Becoming deeply aware of the inner world. Movements of beings in my surrounding being watched through my eyelids through that other sight which some might call Third Eye or Eye of Truth.
I can hear my siblings in the other room, their voices louder entering the ears. I could sense baby nephew was in the room. Like all babies he is special and has the ability to see with this eye of truth which with the roughening and the conditioning of todays society gets diminished.
He was making a sound and somehow because I could hear it these Beings followed the movement, and I felt that everything around me was extending from deep within me and they were traveling in these extensions. They were observing me at the same time awareness arising from within him my nephew. They were peering down at the baby but I was aware of them through him.
I was listening more clearly to my siblings and had this strange feeling they were talking about me. I got up slightly agitated I looked up at them almost stumbling over, doing a bit of power play now.
I get in the room, clearly I had interrupted something. My nephew is on the bed and approaching him I observe them around the room. He is at the stage where he is learning to crawl. With great urgency he tries on several occasions to lift himself up. Eventually I help him up. After a short while I carry him. Behaving very much normally and then I speak to him quietly and there is a moment where he is silent and gazes into my eyes.
Several times he peers over behind me as if playing with invisible friends, I know he sees them clearly and perhaps understands something with the same clarity.
I am still under the effects as I walk around with him but did not pay much attention to the others, in fact forgot about them.
Later I tried it once again - continued in my next post.
Saturday 12 October 2013
11:11 Phenomena 2
I have been seeing the 11:11 a lot once again as well as other similar numbers like 04:44 and 02:22. It is always like this and has increased in frequency. I have been on the computer more and other devices so it could be a coincidence, but then I never have coincidences. I feel definitely this is some kind of messaging.
Actually this is the Universe IMing me. Without going too much into it I feel the Universe is saying to get ready because some kind of change is about to occur. I have been feeling a little drained lately, my energy focused on certain projects.
Last night went to bed early feeling so drained. Closed eyes lightness appeared, opened eyes to see that there was no physical external source. Closed eyes again, this occurred several times. Allowed the head to move as I went to sleep.
I am feeling the urge to take Salvia Divinorum once again, next week maybe.
Actually this is the Universe IMing me. Without going too much into it I feel the Universe is saying to get ready because some kind of change is about to occur. I have been feeling a little drained lately, my energy focused on certain projects.
Last night went to bed early feeling so drained. Closed eyes lightness appeared, opened eyes to see that there was no physical external source. Closed eyes again, this occurred several times. Allowed the head to move as I went to sleep.
I am feeling the urge to take Salvia Divinorum once again, next week maybe.
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