Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Star Drop UFO

I woke up at 6:30am vividly recalling a UFO experience. The thing is I can't recall what time it occured coz I went to bed at 11:30pm woke up again at 2:45am and fell asleep once again at 3:10am but I can't seem to pinpoint the time.

I was in bed just waiting for sleep to kick in. I look out the window and something feels very different. The stars look unusually bright and there is a particular star that I always see in a particular spot. Something dropped from this star and the star dimmed, there was a cylinder case - this is what I thought of it, a case and not a spacecraft but regardless it gently landed on my neighbours roof. I did not panic. I remained absolutely still excited but knew not to get up lest this visitor flee from my curious nature.

I breathed in deeply, stunned and in awe I really had no idea what to expect. A part of the cylinder opened like a door and a bright light swooshed in my room through the window at lightning speed.

It was like a small light that had no particular size or shape, in fact it was constantly morphing. There is a warm radiation emitting from this spectalur light, its glow felt like it was wrapping its arms around me. I've never felt so happy in my life. I felt the light was a guardian, perhaps an angelic force as it had that warm angelic feel to it. At some point the light tried to get inside my left eye.

Unfortunately the light also had a sedative effect, my eyelids kept shutting by themselves. My body just wanted to shut down but I kept prying open my eyes to get a good look at the light, to observe and try to comprehend what was taking place. Eventually I passed out.

Monday, 27 September 2010

Dream Guidance

In the past few days I feel like I have been guided in my dreams. Guidance with how or what to eat and other stuff. I get this big chunk of knowledge that I'm supposed to bring back. However, it is hard to recall it in detail but the lessons are embedded within the database in my head.

I wake up feeling that some lesson was taught and once learned on some level I bring it back but I can't even articulate it.

Obviously this is no accident since after reading the Essene Gospel of Peace a few days ago I decided to request help from Angels to teach me what I need to know something that I have done many times before only this time I seem more open and allowing.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

Where is God?

Last night even though I'm still ill, coughing out phlegm endlessly - actually it's getting a little better but taking quite some time. I think old stuff is coming out.

At midnight I soaked the Salvia leaves, relaxed and started to think about my intention which was to meet the Creator, giver of all life. Checking the time I still had 10 minutes, closed my eyes and continued to relax. 10 minutes became three hours and I was awake at 3:30am at which time I rolled the leaves and got started on the chewing process.

Suddenly towards my third quid the neighbours started to get loud - as usual this irritated me. I wonder if they're vampires, awake at night and nowhere to be seen during the day. My irritation amplified - I got up and started banging the window to shut them up. I finished chewing and tried to relax until I realized what I had just done thinking my neighbours might not like me very much now not that I ever see them. The thought of getting on their bad side just made me paranoid and I was hoping they didn't hear the bang on the window.

Finally gave up the paranoia and let my head rest on the pillow - it was still hard to relax after getting so revved up.

Suddenly I'm expanding, stretching out across the vast face of the Earth and to every living entity that I pass by I ask 'Where is God?'
I ask this not as if I'm meeting God for the first time - but I ask simply because I know God. In the same way I may be looking for someone that I know in the physical reality I was looking for God. I knew where he was but I just couldn't remember. Somehow my memory as that being is fractured it doesn't take long to realize that it is this physical identity that generates this fracture. As I shrink back to the physical body I am still endlessly asking for the whereabouts of God.

My surrounding the walls and window are pointing somewhere outside. In the physical body I wobble to the window, look through the slats up into the sky and ask the living energies around me 'Where? I don't see Him'. Intuitively I know they are pointing at the moon which is all the way on the other side and cannot be seen through my window, but I know that God is not the moon, there is something beyond that they're trying to get me to see.

Once again back in bed another shift takes place, I feel a complete emptiness, so empty even loneliness and sorrow did not fill this vessel - I was in a complete void of nothingness.

Then with closed eyes I felt the spinning sensation, there is some kind of birth taking place, there is a need for celebration - I am waiting for the Earth to sing a song of beauty and grace to greet this event. For some reason the sounds have to come from the Earth, the Earth is like a divine instrument. Then I hear the loud voice which belongs to my neighbour and behind that the police sirens somewhere in the distance. There's a slight confusion until I'm almost fully the Physical 'me' again and after that last horrific unmelodious tune with some sarcasm I think 'Great, like music to my ears'.

Effortless Meditation

After a long absence from meditation y'day I managed to meditate without really planning it.

After some contemplation I relaxed and went into a state of meditation - initially there was some mental chatter, some imagery and then silence. When I ended it I felt quite refreshed and amazed that I didn't get shocked out of it.

I think I may be able to meditate more often but I don't want to plan it out or dedicate a certain time of the day to it - I will allow it to happen when it happens. It's more easier that way and almost no effort is required.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Fire Escape Dream

I'm in a relative's house - there are other relatives around me and people I've never met. My host is telling me to help myself to some of the food he cooked. I see my ex and start to feel a mix of emotions, awkward and happy at the same time. He approaches me and tells me that I should try the sweet and savoury pudding as I will enjoy it more. It seems he knows that I've stopped eating animal products. I want to say something to him but the presence of my mum and other relatives are making the situation even more awkward.

I help myself to some food as my ex walks away. Old emotions are resurfacing and resulting in feeling regret and guilt. There are some kids playing around in a bedroom - I find a shelf and grab some music albums realizing they belong to my ex. I can't help but smile as I rummage through his things but slyly put them back before he catches me. I know he's somewhere in the house keeping his distance.

Mum and eldest sister are calling out to me telling me to get my nephew R since we're leaving. I see R amongst the kids, holding his hand together we're walking down a long corridor. There is a girl about 8 years old walking beside us seeing us off. We walk inside another kitchen set on fire. The flames are blue. There's an exit door but it would be difficult to get through there - a hundred thoughts are running through my head in that one instant which is why I am so confused about what to do. We're back in the corridor, I'm shouting out that there's a fire in the house but nobody hears me. Panic sets in as the fire rages.

I look at my nephew - he is priority if there is anything I do I must take him out safe to his mother. I tell the girl that she has to go and tell everyone else that there's a fire and for them to try and escape. I'm sad that I couldn't just take her with me or let her take my nephew to safety.

I hold his hand and make him run with me through another doorway until we are outside. I'm looking for his mum until I catch a glimpse of some relatives and tell them to call the fire brigade while I go back to help the rest. They inform me that there are fires starting like this in other places.

As I run back to the house the dream starts to fade.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Great Grandfather in the Light

I've been feeling unwell since Friday with excess phlegm and aching horrible flu symptoms so I wasn't sure about using Salvia last night. On second thoughts realized it might help heal me.

My intention was to allow divine forces to come through and do the necesary work required on all levels - I do feel that my absence from the physical body temporary allows deeper work to be done that would otherwise cause a lot of drama should I fully remain in physical body. Did not use mouthwash this time just simply brushed teeth and inner cheeks. Also I was not bothered with rolling the the leaves.

I think secretly deep down I wanted to revisit what was revealed to me in my last trip with Salvia. Chewed away, eventually as the effects kicked in I found it hard to organize the leaves so that I don't get too much in my mouth also for some reason it just made it harder to chew. I got really angry because of not having rolled the leaves and to make things worse neighbours suddenly switched on their light - very bright it was beaming through my window and blinds do not help - okay I'll stop my whining here.

Once I got the necessary dose my environment began to shift - everything around me alive and communicating. I was still chewing feeling that I'm not 100% there. Chewing feels so pretend, don't know how to describe it but my teeth and the process of mastication had a very different quality. I had to leave a wad of the Salvia behind in the bowl unchewed because I could no longer balance myself, but then another part of me felt like I should just finish it and when I chewed the remaining bits all my surrounding seemed confused as to why I'm still pretending.

After this I simply lay down but did not close my eyes - I don't know why I keep forgetting to do this. I feel that for a more inner experience the eyes need to be closed. As usual the entities rattled in the surrounding. I was looking around for the being I encountered in my last trip, the one who revealed to me a most astounding well guarded secret. This is all I seemed to care about. I kept thinking how dull this experience seems right now in comparison to my previous experience. Where is that beautiful glimmering light? I'm looking in particular for any tear any cracks to break through, but there is nothing except dullness.

I look up to the ceiling because my lighting is rattling like crazy and then I begin to feel a Being coming through. I felt it was masculine and ancient and then as feelings got stronger there was this undeniable recognition and I said telepathically 'Great Grandfather'. This GG was not a physical relative but a relative of that Being that I find myself converted to.

As I watch the energy rattling inside the light fitting I begin to communicate 'Seriously!? All this time you've been in the ceiling light.' Maybe that Being was not in the light fitting all of physical earth time but in that moment since it is the closest thing to me the GG Being is coming through that. I recall at this stage when Salvia effects were wearing off that if I tried this in different environments - say on the roof staring at the stars, I will most likely have a completely different experience. Even in nature I will no doubt have a completely different experience.

So much more took place I remember having several visions, one of a man but unfortunately this is all I've been able to retain. As for the healing I did feel a little better in the morning though the phlegm has not cleared up.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Scorpion Totem Dream

In this dream my parents and I are in a room, my mum tells me she is looking for a really dangerous insect at which point I'm scared because my feet are bare and I know if it crawls my way it's gonna bite.

We're scanning the room until I see something in the distance - I point at it hoping mum would catch it. Holding a dustpan and brush, she chases after the little bugger. I see it more clearly - it's a scorpion and it's crawling closer to me. Surprisingly I don't faint - dream starts to fade here.

The scorpion like the snake is also related to transformation.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Killer Beings

Chewed 8 quids at 11:10pm. This time the batch of leaves I recieved were a very dark shade and soaked for 30 minutes. Most of the stem parts were left on and chewing was tough. Again yesterday I was feeling so depressed which remained in the background but externally I was binge eating - compensating for those feelings.

I was however excited about Salvia - when I got around to it my intention was very clear, I asked for all divine forces to come forth. I did not make clear exactly what for - thought I'd just leave it up to them.

The usual happened - only the beings rattled through external surrounding appeared much larger. I was almost a 100% saturated with that other being and now I'm writing from that perspective:

Looking up to my left I perceived several beings lurring me in, there is recognition there but not sure about my relationship to these beings (energy patterns). These beings they're not what they're cut out to be. They let me in some unkown place and then a most spectacular thing happened I was so excited and revved with joy and my initial feeling was I must share this with others - I kept saying how when I go back I have to tell everyone about this, that is the first thing I will do. The being present there said 'No', I kept saying 'Yes' and it was a long battle until the being clearly said 'Fine we'll just have to kill you' which in basic translation meant that they will kill off 'J' in order to keep this a secret. The decision was not meant to be hurtful or intentionally cruel, it was something they calculated as the consequence of my action in the earthly realm. Basically 'J' would have to be aborted.

The being at this stage had a little of 'J' added to the mix and what was sensed was that the being was not alarmed or fearful about such a prospect. 'J' it seemed was replaceable, there was no protest from this Being.

I lifted my arms up tried to recall what happened, remembered it partially. There was something open in the middle of the ceiling and with my hands I was moving the energy, it was like I could open it up some more, then I understood. It was the fabric of reality that tvsuat described in his vids. I could open up that hole (a patch of glimmering swarming light) in the ceiling and tear open fully this fabric of reality. I played around with it, took another look at my arms around which I could see a haze of light and knew that this was a layer of aura. I merged the aura from one arm to the other charging it.

Coming more fully back I could sense the being that I seem to be a part of announcing to the other beings that it won't tell others what it witnessed and neither would 'J' have any memory of it. It was a sure thing that nothing would be recalled but I have a feeling it has something to do with 'the fabric of reality'. I do wonder what was witnessed, what is this thing that must be kept a secret? at the same time I know that knowledge of this treasured secret comes with a price.

This came to an end just after midnight at which time I fell asleep. Awakened at 2am with an internal humming whizzing sound. There were orgasmic bubbly sensations around my body. Under the soles of my feet was a curvy vibration, my feet were buzzing. My bed also felt like it was vibrating - I had to empty bladder. As I got up the sensations lessened.

Had some unrecallable dreams about salvia.

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

The Great Fall and The Great Depression

The Great Fall - Vivid Dream
I am on the balcony of a building - I try to get out looking for the staircase or even an elevator but neither are to be found. Then I look down from the balcony and feel nauesous being too high up. I see there is a really long ladder going down and ponder for a while how dangerous it is but I have no other option (aside from jumping). I get ready but the ladder starts to collapse, relieved that I didn't get down on it. I walk to the left noticing a kind of platform hung near one side of the building and feel I've found my way out. Once on this platform I think it's going down on auto until I notice that there is actually nothing attached to the platform and that it is falling down ready to impact on the ground along with me. I try to grab on the side, not really panicking but realizing that there's nothing else that can be done other than to surrender to my impending departure. I spread my arms out and let go with the platform no longer beneath me I am free falling.

The Great Depression - False Awakening
I am slowly waking up in bed still groggy, I see my sister is sitting on the chair - she is telling me something about depression. I begin to speak still very sleepy I tell her about what I have been feeling like since y'day afternoon. From y'day I have been feeling so utterly depressed and nothing physically really triggered it. It is a seriously overwhelming sadness for which I can't find a reason. I remember her asking me why I feel depressed but just fell asleep. Now, in PR I would never really open up about my feeling depressed so I don't know if it was an FA or actual. As for the depression, it is still present but not so overwhelming.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Chakra Work Reflections

I have wondered why it seems I have lost the ability to AP, at least the one's that use to happen without much effort never occur. I never get my previous astral exit signs (spinning, vibration, high pitch sound etc).

I thought maybe my desire to AP has diminished which could explain why I rarely have these experiences.

In terms of chakra and in relation to the Kundalini awakening what is occuring now is lower chakra work - one sign of this is my recent obsession with health and things very much earthly.
As a result of this all my energy is being channeled in these areas and the other areas such as AP etc which are related to upper chakras are working in a very different way now. I think the upper area is working deeply on expanding intuition which since this year has been going through a lot of fine tuning.

The Invisible Book

I fell asleep around 5am (was awake since 1am). Before falling asleep I was wondering whether I'd be able to AP but then I didn't really care much for it which explains the absence of these experiences.

In a dream I'm looking all over the house for my journal and realize I left it on the bed - I hold this book, it is so solid in my hands and now I'm really awake in this dream scene. I turn the book over in my hands but it becomes translucent - I can feel it in my hands but it is almost completely invisible, there's just a slight glimmer of the edging. I want to read through it, at least the title but nothing is there.

In this state I could feel a signal from my physical body and know that I need to empty my bladder - can feel a slight pain from fluids held back. I try to get up physically but feel like I'm in a struggling state of SP, for a few minutes I'm forcing to regain physical movement but can sense that there is something else keeping me locked in that state and I'm fighting it for the sake of emptying bladder. After much struggle I regain control and head straight for the toilet in a groggy state.

Monday, 6 September 2010

Raw Food and Macrobiotic Combo

While I have looked into Raw Foods and implementing it (very slowly) into my diet I know I'm not ready to eat like that 100% so I will be looking into Macrobiotic diet.

So far macrobiotic seems ideal - in the warmer seasons I will be eating more raw, less cooked and in the cooler seasons more cooked and less raw.

Sole and Blackstrap Molasses

My main goal when it comes to nutrition is to eat only foods that increases one's health and vitality - so far it has been quite a mission. I am eating mostly vegan foods and on occasions vegetarian meals where I allow some dairy products. While I don't like to be strict when it comes to food I have had some unpleasant side effects from eating dairy after some period of exclusion which is motivating me to get off it completely.

A lot of people have noticed how neurotic I've become about ommitting certain foods that are actually toxic. I tend to ramble on about it. I could sense from them that they find it annoying but I can't help myself because these same people are also breaking out with some very unpleasant conditions which is motivating me even more to change my eating habits.

I have already excluded quite a bit out of my diet, but now focusing mainly on including foods constantly seeking out ways to increase nutrition.

I am now taking sole daily in the mornings and at night I have 1tbsp of BS molasses with a warm glass of water. These two are like my daily supplement. Right after consumption of these two my fingers fizz with energy, I can feel the same fizzing energy circulating in my legs. One of the major change I've noticed lately is an increase in energy throughout the day although I have now reverted back to my usual sleep pattern (7 to 8 hours sleep).

I have done so much research on healthy foods that I feel like I know too much to just carry on eating the way I have been doing so for a long time - it is making me more aware of my addictions.

Thursday, 2 September 2010


Had several interesting dreams this morning.

Cannibis Presciption
I think I'm watching TV but I'm inside it. A man is talking about a couple who have to get prescription for cannabis for their child who is suffering from some cryptic illness. I keep thinking that the cannbis is not necesarry and that it is more likely to be a deficiency and something that eating healthy could cure. I get the sense that it's the 1960's and start wondering how many channels were broadcasted back then.

Sexual Dream
These dreams occur on a daily basis, the scene is always different but always erotic in nature. In these dreams carnal desires play out. This particular dream there was none of the physical action instead it was headed in that direction but woke up aroused.

There's a third dream I wanted to write about but there's a complete blank right now.

Squint and Grimace

Last night as I fell asleep my eyes started to squint and slowly face would contort with puckered lips which made me laugh. I thought about how the Kundalini is detoxifying but wondered what the whole facial distortion was about.

I understand that the the inner tingles and buzz I've been feeling internally are to do with changes to the nerves. Perhaps overall every sensation is actually related to the changes in the brain meaning that every sensation is a response to the internal changes in the brain.

There was also some gasping breathing going on.