Saturday, 30 August 2014

An Explanation of the Extraordinary Phenomena

Was feeling strangely emotional, empty before this trip. Started reading Krishnamurti Fire in the Mind there is an amazing discussion.

Started on a part raw paleo diet, most of the seafood has not been appetizing (except for shellfish). The raw chicken livers were ok at first but then they made me almost regurgitate my own guts. I've been pretty frantic about my health. The sudden onset of major fatigue is very likely due to vitamin or mineral deficiency which is making me look for all kinds of solution for optimum health. This above detail here is only partially relevant to today's salvia experience which took place around 1:30pm.

I was note taking during Salvia state but it's barely intelligible. But here goes (won't write exact, on paper it looks like I was a maniac brainstorming).

------------------------------  SALVIA EXPERIENCE -----------------------------------------------

I chew the two quids that was soaking whilst reading through JK material, something I do when the world around me doesn't make sense. This time chewed and held in mouth a little longer. I sit back with eyes open throughout the entire experience.

At first going in deep seeing what is actually taking place, feels like being behind the scenes. I thought of a recent idea for a story. Grabbed a pen and paper with much difficulty. Just before I place pen to paper I tell the others not to get alarmed, I'm not spilling secrets it's just some ideas for a great movie. Scribbled 'He holds onto your mind, uses it somehow. There are others who control the reality, it's like they hold on the material giving it its solid like quality. (It can control everything, every event and incident that takes place)'. I look in the mirror with my face changing, veins pumping plastic dummy looking body and consider slipping this part into the story somehow.

At some point going deeper I felt how one would feel ordinarily embarrassed about doing something that just makes you look foolish. The copious worrying about health, the act of ingesting raw chicken livers all in front of them seeing as how they think I am supposed to behave like some kind of demi god.

How do I keep forgetting this actual soveriegn state? Because coming back in this ordinary common state I certainly feel like I forget quickly. The pressures and cranial movements seems to be related to their movements, everything seems to be related to what I percieve there. Here and there is playing off each other within one space.

They tell me something about patterns of thought, that the world around us is the result of a pattern of thought although it was not brought about by thought itself, just moulded into shape. I asked questions: Why are some people sick? as well as even asking why some are extremely healthy but the answer would obviously be the same for both. I was mostly referring to the endless physical conditions that seem to bequeath mankind, but even psychological disorders count. The answer I got back again had to do with the pattern of thinking. There was a great understanding from the impression of a spider, drawing out its web creating according to its pattern and then draws it back inside itself and then goes on recreating.

I got a bit more specific, about how certain vitamins work and actually heal. I was asking this because according to what I experienced in this Salvia state is that these so called vitamins and minerals and all these other health stuff nutritionists discuss had nothing whatsoever to do with my health. That even my concern over physical health appeared very strange to those I encountered.

I asked them if everything is according to pattern of thoughts, then why do some vitamins work? How is it that a certain kind of medicine heals many people and not just someone who thinks it might work? Something can work for someone who thinks it will not work, surely there are countless examples. I for one always take Salvia thinking it's not going to be effective or perhaps it will be less effective than the last time only to get opposite results. Again the answer is through pattern of thought. It goes much deeper though, there is intereference from them somehow, just don't know how to go about explaining this.

I asked them about evil people and saintly people, they obviously must get what they give out. I mean Hitler and Saddam are burning in hell right? I thought briefly but did not mean it in the sense that I wished it upon them. In that plugged in state there was no sense of reward let alone punishment. No one is favored over another. There was an interesting part in JK book about how society breeds on reward and punishment and continues to live within that pattern, but goes onto speak about something beyond this which is not the result of reward or punishment. You cannot get it or get there by following the same pattern we do for reward.

The world is created by millions of years of conditioning, society is a result of that. The result is limited human beings or at least human beings who behave as if they are limited. Humans hold onto thought patterns and live in sync with that. Unable to let go of emotions and breeding attachment mankind lives according to that. Whatever is, is according to the pattern of unitary consciousness all thinking pretty much the same thing. What effects one individual effects the entire world.

Strangely I thought about American Indian tribes and how they used to call out to spirit with their unusual songs and perhaps rituals. They had this interesting relationship with the unseen. I thought carefully about the sounds they must have used and how spirit recieved those sounds, I wondered if what I was percieving is the same thing they percieved and called spirit. I use the word 'spirit' very lightly knowing it can conjure up all kinds of images regarding the others I encounter. It is nothing airy fairy, nothing at all like how one might feel when encountering archangels, or even the great wizard of oz himself. There isn't that spiritual feel to it, my encounters have broken away with what personal ideas I had about encounters with spirits. The seeing is also very different.

I ran out of space on the two pages to write in something very important. It is the essential part of the entire experience and as the understanding came to me I started to write quickly whilst it was all still very fresh. You don't see it... this startled me because the understanding I recieved was so very clear to me I was convinced that what I was writing should be able to clearly depict what I had in mind. There's no talking about it... At this stage I laughed, so much for this great clarity! Then I finished off completely convinced that this should do it... NO WAY TO EXPLAIN THE PHENOMENA THAT IS YOU!

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Hemi-sync Sensitivity - Seeing Shadow Being

Yesterday evening around 7pm I listened to hemi-ync audio and eventually ended up falling asleep. Awakened after midnight and unable to sleep until 4am. I was dreading sleeping at this time, having a strange feeling that something very unexpected and horrible was going to take place.

I eventually just gave in. In a deep relaxed state I was aware of some part of the bed, there was that familiar rotation. Rotated outward but not quite moving out. It was like I was rotating only to end up in the same spot.

My head became some kind of radio, I was picking up signals for actual things taking place. Maybe someone watching tv or listening to a radio channel. I got this sense two of my sisters were in the corner of the room.

Still in this state I was aware of other scenes taking place, in one which I recall there was an arm being lifted up. This person was in their bed, I felt he or she was an actual living person.

Then awareness moved back into my darkened room, where quite suddenly I see a shadow form of what seemed to be a man running across my room in my direction. This startled me, so much that I started to shake myself out of the state but soon enough felt daring enough just to get a peep to see what this being was up to.

Still very much in that state there was an intense pressure in the lower abdomen region. At this point I was adamant to get up and managed to break the trance.

It is possible that some strange stuff has been going on, especially with the body during the times I go to sleep. It's also possible that the hemi-sync audio is making me more sensitive and aware of other energies around me. One thing I've noticed is my energy level has taken a massive dip. I have these moments of complete lethargy where I feel I need to sleep forever despite getting enough hours of sleep.

I will be experimenting with this by staying awake for a while and simply repeating the process.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Hemi-Sync - The Gateway Experience Wave I, Orientation

I've started listening to hemi-sync once again. Have had a really difficult week and at the same time noticed sometimes when shit happens it's for the best. Now I'm changing my priorities and I think one of these priorities has to be advancing with hemi-sync.

I have lost count with the amount of times I've started these sessions only to suddenly end it. Hopefully this time round I can commit to finishing the entire program.

Started a session from last night. I listened to the first track Orientation late at night, as I relaxed deeply my head jolted left and right. Several times I was shocked by this movement and how aggressive it has become. Towards the end of the track when I opened my eyes I realized that I clicked out from the last head jolting movement and unable to recall what happened during that click out.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Salvia Remedy

Past two days I was in a very terrible state, I thought it was just a very bad reaction from a supplement I have been taking past few weeks but turns out there's a virus going around. Early in the morning today I had the worst cramps in upper abdomen, horrible pains in the chest.

I soaked Salvia with the intention to see the underlying cause for this. While it was soaking I tried to do so many things to handle the pain, ended up lying in fetal position and slept for a good 45 minutes. Once awake I was so incredibly refreshed, I felt like a newborn. No cramps, nothing.

At this stage I didn't feel like chewing Salvia, wished I hadn't soaked it. Chewed anyways, but really fast not masticating thoroughly. With the last quid I lie back, the beings of the organs are more apparent.

Now all of a sudden they are reproducing the sensations I felt earlier, the major pains on left side were a lot more intense. They are indicating in some form of non-verbal communication that this pain is surgical. In this state I didn't feel as bad as I did without it, the pain was still there just as intense but it didn't effect me. Had the sense the beings can be arranged, orchestrated in a way to change my form.

There was this magnetic field around the body, it was tugging and pulling.I remember at some point I had this sense that the sensations were an indication of some kind of surgical procedure being performed on the body.

Saturday, 9 August 2014

Salvia State Bleeding Through

Salvia 10x, small pinch. Transition is extra smooth, during the shift to that state I realized that what has been occuring in the consensus reality for me is actually this state trying to take over. Salvia state is overriding my 'ordinary' state of consciousness. Today my head did a really strange thing where it felt like the head region suddenly vibrating. Currently right now I am in that mild state. As I feel it I can tell that it's going to get stronger and the states are going to occur involuntarily.

Have been also physically getting unbalanced feeling today the same as I do in Salvia. Smoking the extract just now my intention was to focus on NASA satellite images of Hurricane Bertha after hearing in the news about it, going in knowing that I probably would not be able to post any significant findings. I was signaled to relax (body moving involuntarily as though controlled by another) closed eyes I can feel the body. The veins, arteries were vibrating with energies (beings). The structure of the body is somehow relevant to the experience, not Salvia experience but what we experience as our lives. Read some random parts of the Upanishad earlier today, one part has to do with the different organs of the body, another to do with veins will need to look into this part.

I've experienced the beings in the blood before. This has suddenly become more intense seeing that it is getting stronger in my ordinary so called waking consciousness.

I think the Salvia state, which I call the Salvia state simply because I take Salvia to reveal that state, is not in fact  a designated state to which one only arrives through the use of Salvia, this is a state that does occur without the use of Salvia.

I feel going through the kundalini process and having read all the experiences that others have gone through I've been willing to prepare for it. Changes and sudden shifting states of mind was something I've been wholly expecting. 

I was drawn to Salvia at a time when a major phase of the kundalini symptoms died down. Left with an usual urge to look into psychedelics I was led to Salvia. It was not really my first choice, but seeing as how my first choice was not exactly legal I was left with Salvia.

Salvia was the key to end the sudden deadening silence on the Kundalini process, I liked to believe that being led to Salvia was a part of the Kundalini process. Really somehow what I've been doing is secretly preparing myself because deep down I was very aware of what the Kundalini process had in store. Salvia has been my salvation in some ways, it has bought me comfort that there was a state of mind that I could switch on but then just as easily it would switch off.

I do feel now that throughout these past few years, not thinking much on the Kundalini process that the same switch that gets turned on by Salvia is the same switch Kundalini is attempting to turn on.
Only with Kundalini it's not a controlled situation, and unlike Salvia it doesn't end after a few minutes or an hour but then there is no way to predict what will happen.

White lights have been flashing near right side of open eye.

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

The Resistance

Smoked 10x extract yesterday evening. As I put the pipe down the effects were taking place immediately. Moving about I felt quite lucky that I was able to move freely in that state, got a sense that not everyone has this ability. I do however sit down as the body takes on a very dummy toy like quality. I could feel that I should close eyes but resist and observe and wonder how it is I keep falling back into this spellbound world. How my previous and all other actions would suggest that I've fallen for a trick.There I am in that state, but that state is not very different to this state. I'm still in the physical consensus reality yet what has changed is my perception.

The only way to describe the state is there is this complete fearlessness, with that comes great power  with a sense of anything being possible yet there is nothing that is desired in that state. Again I started to hold onto the illusory self, Jasmine. There was also a focus on recent desires born from this character, it was powerful and today I see some of the manifestations taking place, very subtle. Ordinarily it would have been barely noticeable, but when observant you can see how whatever takes place in any given moment was somehow carefully orchestrated.

The body sensations were stronger. A pulsating magnetic pulling sensations all over the body. Peripheral vision vibrating around the eyes. I haven't timed how long this trip lasted but it's definitely not as long as quidding.

I've been resisting closing eyes in latest trips, but the urgency to keep them closed has become stronger.

One question that remains is, how is it I go into these deep states breaking through illusions only to return deluding myself even more? What is it that causes it?

The answer is desire causes us to be deluded, I know it sounds like something I've taken out of the Upanishads. Desire keeps us bound to the world of illusions.