I am a Walk-In Soul

I was about 20 years old at the time. Pitch blackness, eyelids closed. Suddenly I can see some light peering through but it was blurry although I could make out the figure of a person looking down at me. Then a woman saying my name and I think she asked if I could hear her, I started very lightly nodding my head.

It was only yesterday I began to think about this, thoughts came so randomly. One minute I'm enjoying a really tasty moin moin and the next these thoughts pop up out of nowhere. 

I cannot recall anything except waking up at the hospital. Not much of an NDE in that sense except that I was either out of consciousness or clinically dead, something I never thought to enquire. 

I wondered about this blankness, complete darkness and then coming back into consciousness. Did I have an NDE and my brain has completely blocked me from it? I started to think about every aspect of my life after this, realized the sudden dramatic changes that seemed to have occured in me. Things I've never thought about before. 

I started gradually getting interested in the afterlife, ghosts, spirits, astral projection, out of body experiences, dreams and lucid dreams. Then I became keenly interested in law of attraction, focusing on self development. I really shapeshifted in a sense, no longer my former self. A self I couldn't recognise. It was after all the first 20 years of my life and I suppose that is when you start to build particular interests and move in a certain direction so at the time since the incident occured I didn't think much about it. In fact, at first I didn't think much at all. I was somewhat numb to thoughts and emotions. 

Previous to this NDE I didn't think much about God, may have pondered a few times growing up but I didn't have faith like anyone following a religion. However after the incident I became drawn to the idea that God is wathching me and will guide me. I recall one day silently sitting down and automatically praying feeling a presence telling me that everything was going to be alright. I remember being in a car heading to one of my sisters house where I was staying for several months after the incident, looking out the window not a bird in sight and I said to God to send me a sign that he is with me, I asked him to send a bird in the sky. In that moment a flock of birds flew by, then more birds followed. This made me feel joyful and very much at peace.

I remember after getting deep into metaphysical topics I encountered the topic of walk-ins. As I read more into it I had a feeling it happened to me but soon went straight into denial and stopped looking into it altogether. 

Yesterday when I thought about that incident and reviewing my past since that point it became so undeniably obvious to me that I ended up feeling all the pented up emotions . I did some major releasing. Letting it all out, some part of me was grieving. But what part and why? I've hid this from my own self for almost two decades now. It's amazing what the brain can block out. There was clearly something that held me back from accepting that the walk-in happened. What about the NDE if I did have one? Now I need to figure out if I had even died or simply lost consciousness. I don't know how long I was at the hospital, all sense of time had warped. 

The knowing is very undeniable to me, when you know something you just know it. I have looked up some of the symtpoms of a walk-in and can relate to almost all of it except the negative aspects. I would say since that incident I have grown into a much stronger person which I know most would think happens with age. I have found it very easy to grasp spirituality and spiritual concepts, as it comes very naturally. 

Also I don't think this body has had one walk-in, I think there have been a few others after this which may have occured during an excursion with salvia. 

I'm going to do some time travelling soon, not in the sense you might think. I have to travel back into the time of the incident that led me to the ICU at the hospital. Retrieve the memory and gain some understanding from that point. I will be activating acetylcholine and GABA neurotransmitters for this purpose and be very clear with my intentions.

An Experiment with Spoons

This is a sort of law of attraction type experience, I say this because my views on law of attraction have changed somewhat over the years.

I was searching for ceramic spoons for soups. Finding overpriced things online I decided to check out local stores.

I checked enough stores a few times not finding any ceramic spoons whatsoever since metal spoons are more popular.

One day shopping I was in an unusually good mood and for no particular reason. I decided to send out this positive energy towards the people I passed by, the trees and to all things surrounding me. Sending positive thoughts to others around you makes for good therapy.

Before I entered any shops I decided that today I was going to find those ceramic spoons, it was settled in my mind that today it was definitely going to appear. I ended up in one shop where there wasn't any and I've looked here before. Then made an entrance to another shop where again there was no visible ceramic spoons. I turned around ready to exit this shop but got this sense to go back and look again. Standing in one spot contemplating nothing just staring at this spot. A woman accidentally hit me on my left foot and started to distract me with her constant apologies. I assured her that I was fine.

After a moment of this I put my hands in at the back of one shelf where you really can't see anything. I'm not sure what possessed me to put my hands inside this space but I started to feel something and pulled it out. It was wrapped up in paper but there was that knowing feeling what I was about to unwrap. I grabbed a few more, nice ceramic spoons in many different colors.

Seeing that there was no specific price tag I asked the manager for the price. He told me these spoons come with mugs but they seem to be missing so offered 5 of the spoons in my hands for 50pence.

As he walked away I started to observe around me, there was an employee stacking the bottom of one shelf . Customers walking by. In particular as I watched the manager walk away I felt how the entire incident seemed to be set up, this was all scripted. It's an awareness that is hard to describe, that knowing feeling was there. I've had an incident like this before with the same awareness present and that knowing feeling of what it was all about.

I know that I can command greater things than spoons, but the more interesting aspect is figuring out how it all really works.

Good Day Bad Day

One day I put forth some intentions and being positive throughout the day, charging up good feelings and the next day took a huge dip. I have noticed this happening often. Another thing to note is when I make specific plans for anything it could be a project or what I want to do for that day things do not go accordingly and when I just go with the flow I can get more done. So no more planning, just go with the flow.

Powerful Intentions - Retake

I have been thinking I need to start creating consciously in my life, time to revisit the Law of Attraction materials dusting away on my shelf. However, I recall I put it off because a lot of my desires were materialistic and there was  no lasting fulfillment from them. Then eventually I got to a stage where I did not have the need nor desire for anything except eating healthy, focusing on my well being etc. Now I have become very simple, I still don't want much from life. Rather than focusing on what I can get out of life, my focus is on what I can give back. Community, neighbors, environment and the well being of all people from all walks of life has become a lot more important.

This is one of the reason why I've started a project for an eco village which is still in the planning phase, right now I haven't formed a group - just starting it alone hoping eventually the group will form as is the case with many eco villages. I sit here and I wonder how can I use LOA to help me out with this and it dawns on me that I'm already using it - it's just one of those laws that just is and I can't help but use it. Synchronicities continue to occur on a daily basis although I don't always notice it, they've become the norm and have even lost their 'wow' factor.

I still want to put some conscious thoughts into it the way I initially did when I first started playing around with it - those times were incredible fun. I hope to journal future manifestations that are to occur. For now, I'm sticking with the eco-village plan and using all intentions towards this.

Creating Consciously

Last year I put my intentions on hold especially with a lot of inner work being done I just couldn't focus on any particular intentions. I have to admit my materialstic even non-materialistic manifestations were not pleasing me, it was like nothing bought with it any kind of satisfaction. In fact it was like I was searching for something that was unreachable and each search was a dead end bringing with it a sense of uncertainty. I think feeling like that was important because it drew me more towards trying to understand who I am. Then the Kundalini began to take over, a time that was very detoxiyfing and now I feel I've been born again with a sense of renewed purpose and so I hope to journal as much as I can about these new intentions, my dreams and purpose.

Here's some of the areas that I need to be more intentional with:

Relationships - I don't mean just a life partner and my relationship with other people but also the relationship that I have with myself because it is this relationship that determines every other relationship.

Business - Since last year I have become less and less business oriented but I want to be more productive in this area so that I can get my business to a good sellable level and do what I really want to do.

My more long-term goal is a lifestyle transition and those who have read the ringing cedars know what I'm talking about. To be brief I want to return to the elements of nature and live life as it was originally intended. I realize that something like that won't happen over night so I am making as much good use of my time as possible right now.

History of Conscious Manifestations and Synchronicity

A list of things that I've successfuly manifested:

FRUITS - lots of fruits were my first ever successful conscious manifestations.

BOOKS - early on when researching about Law of Attraction I stumbled upon 'The Secret' where I first heard of Abraham and the Hicks. Tbh at first I didn't want to spend any money on Abraham material because of the whole channeling thing (even though I was APing). I felt like it was a trap but I also had this feeling that there was something about this Abraham and so I decided to manifest the book and so about 2 weeks after watching 'The Secret' I got a copy of 'Ask and It Is Given' for free. Some time after this success I decided to manifest 'The Secret' book and the following month got 2 books for free.

£50 M&S Voucher - I got ripped off £25 once and decided that I will be compensated double that amount one night before falling asleep, the following day I recieved an opportunity to get £50 M&S voucher

Neighbours Scaffold removal - this was the most quickest conscious manifestation ever, it took a few minutes. My neighbours had their scaffold attached to their house for almost 2 years, a few seconds I thought about how ugly it looked then decided to change my thoughts and some minutes later I hear bob the builder and his crew taking off the scaffold.

Bits and Bobs - these are the more little things, like razors, bedside lamp etc

An entire modern workstation - a glass desk, LCD monitor, computer, laptop and other bits and bobs

Astral projections, Lucid dreams - this was during a certain period where I thought I'd try to apply LOA to the more non-material areas.

There's more but will need to go through old journals to get them here, for the most part my experimentation with Intentions and manifestations actually go a long way back, long before I even knew anything about Law of Attraction. Some of my more profound experiences are what are known as synchronicity and as an example I'll share one such experience.

I was re-reading an Agatha Christie book and at that time I decided to keep a dictionary handy to find out meanings of certain unfamiliar words. There was one word 'hydrangea' that just seemed like a really interesting word. Looked it up in the dictionary and found that it was a flower, then I wondered what it looked like. At that point I closed the book, flicked through TV channels and stopped at a show that I've only seen one episode of and thought it was utterly boring - it was Gossip Girl. Despite how much I disliked this show I left it on the channel (can't recall why). Within a few minutes one of the character is entering a mansion, here she finds flowers in a vase. She tells her friend how nice they look and her friend tells her that they're hydrangeas which left me stunned even though at that point I was getting used to these synchro's. I was watching the entire show knowing that those flowers would reappear and they did at the end of the show.

I have noticed more synchros - there are just too many to record and they occur almost on a daily basis.

Dreams of Nature

I am having a lot of nature dreams, however upon waking up in the morning I have this profound sense that I dreamt something once again about nature - it is a deep inner impression. It's like the powerful emotions are being downloaded as I wake up however there's nothing visual that I can make sense of. Very cryptic. This morning it was about trees but there was more to it than that and yesterday morning I dreamt something about seeds but my feelings tell me there was more to it than that. My brain just cannot register all the details so that I can write about it.

This has been happening to a greater degree since having the intention, since the birth of the desire to go back to my roots (truly). I'm taking all this as a sign, I have had intentions in the past few years and have had impressions of these intentions reflected in subtler ways but nothing as alive as my current desire to reconnect with nature.

Intention Manifestation - Land Reflections

One of my recent intention has been to acquire a piece of land and I've never in my life been so inspired or moved in the way I am at this time. I'm realizing more (ever since asking for a clearing of any blockages concerning guidance) that things are unfolding more clearly for me. Though I haven't thought through all the details I have a clearer picture of what I really want.

First I knew it intuitively that certain changes at this moment are not only desirable but necessary especially if I want to improve the quality of my life right now.

Since I've had the intention I've been getting a lot of external reflections of my inner process. A huge part of this intention has been reflected in dreams, in the physical reality I'd hear people in mid conversation about land and people who've dreamed of cottage in the countryside. The biggest reflection was in a conversation I had with my brother. I did not bring up anything about land, in fact I was just listening to him ramble on. Suddenly out of the blue he tells me about how my mum bought several parcels of land for peanuts outside of England, something I learned for the very first time and now after 2 or so decades the profit is just unbeilavable. This news came shortly after I couldn't quite decide where I'd like to move to since I'm not sure about remaining in England.

So far I'm taking all these as a sign that I'm on the right track.

I made a list of the different countries where I intend to get this land but I'm still rather picky - very uncertain about the location. In the mean time I'm drawing up other plans until I can come to a decision.

Land Acquisition for a Space of Love

Ever since I read 'The Ringing Cedars Series' books I've been imagining what my own Space of Love would look like. A Space of Love is at least a hectare of land where you build your home, grow your own food, plants and trees - basically a homemade paradise for you and your family. It's simply the difference between living an artificial life which many of us do and a natural life.

So right now I'm focusing my thoughts on manifesting this piece of Land. My thoughts are already reflecting in my dreams. In one dream there was a large frame with a field of grass - it was part of a cliff adorned with trees and flowers with vibrant colours - and the waterfall was just stunning. I observed remembering my intention to create a paradise for me and my family. I get the feeling I need to use my dreamscape as a way to design my landscape.

So how am I going about taking steps to make this happen? I've been searching lands, right now price is not really an issue even though I don't have the amount needed I know I'll have this manifested in no time so long as I am fully aligned with my desire. The issue however is location, not sure if I want to remain in the UK or move to another location. If I do move out I am thinking either move to Spain or France.