Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Hornet Totem

Past week hornet signs showing up everywhere - today it came to my mind. Was doing some online shopping and tried to remind myself once again to look up hornet totem info and almost completely forgot for a few seconds until I scrolled down amazon page and there was a book on adscroll 'The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest' and then that was it - looked it up. The hornet is a wasp so it would seem whatever applies to wasp also applies to hornets.

Looking up hornets I realized that what I've actually been seeing are yellowjackets.

Saturday, 28 August 2010


Last night got Salvia ready, while it was soaking at about 2:10am relaxed and didn't really feel like chewing the leaves. I almost fell asleep when suddenly spontaneously exhaled for very long which as always startled me. Tried to relax again to let the exhale take place without disrupting the flow, instead there were slight spontaneous movements.

Got started on the chewing - this time felt like just getting it out the way, felt like a chore. Towards final quid I bit my tongue which worried me coz it felt really intense.

This time things shifted as usual but so much more energetic, my left eye kept closing I couldn't keep it open. There was a sense of an energy coming in it was so familiar to me. I figured it was like some kind of team (the energy) - it had an air of royalty about it, like it was supreme, there were other energy beings beside it but they would move aside to let this royal team in. Then when the energy was right in my face it began to communicate non-verbally and the recognition came instantly. I was so humbled in its presence and simply listened to every unspoken word. It said 'Be nice to him, treat him well and care for him'. It was referring to my 5 year old nephew Ray who belongs to this magnificent energy pattern and that is what I recognized it to be. I could see the energy almost as a giant face peering at me - hard to describe.

In physical reality my eldest sis and her kids came for holiday to London and I have not really been getting along with my sister (a lot of conflict). Ray agitated me a little y'day and out of irritation I told him to go away but soon cheered him up after that.

I asked the energy being if Ray's older bro and sis belonged to this same energy pattern but did not get an answer though it's like deep down I knew they are not of that pattern neither is the mother.

Of course when I was told by that energy being to be nice to Ray it wasn't a demand specifically for me but for those who are around him and unfortunately there's a lot of sibling rivalry taking place between his elder siblings which I can see is having a bad effect on him.

I can't recall how I responded but I acknowledged what was said and amazingly in that state I retained a lot of 'me', the physical identity. When I woke up this morning and recalled last nights incidents there was that immediate sense of something feeling different - I just wanted to go around telling everyone to treat Ray as though he were extra special.

He is a very sweet, adorable and intelligent kid, however he is also super hyper at times and has the ability to talk 24/7 - his mum has told me that at home the only way she could stop him from talking so much is by plugging her ears.

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Exhalation and Excess Sweating

Last night as I went off to sleep my right arm surged with electricity, there were tingling sparks. Suddenly I was alarmed awake and spontaneously exhaled with hushed tones. This happened a few times.

Woke up this morning dripping in sweat but no signs of fever or any illness. This is obviously body detoxing due to Kundalini energy.

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Salvia By The Light of The Moon

Last night at about 1am got some Salvia ready on a whim, not quite planned out. As I was in the process of getting it ready I noticed the full moon which was coming round to the other side and I thought about how the moon can send information. My focus would be on the moon and hopefully I would be in time and the moon wouldn't disappear to the other side. This thought of the moon just popped in my head.

I let Salvia soak for 25 mins and then decided to roll the leaves in the dark beside bedroom window since moonlight was seeping in. 8 quids, started chewing slowly, masticating it thoroughly. Somewhere towards my 5th quid the effects were super fast and intense and put my bowl down. Heard a background sound which made me get up and chew the remaining quids.

As I finally rest my head on pillow the moon got to an angle where the light shone on my face, amazing how seamless this seemed to flow. I had not planned it out at all, it seemed that though I had decided to get the Salvia ready by impulse it was definitely intended - just that I'm not the one who was deciding. There was a flow that I was in sync with which seems to carry on to some degree in ordinary waking consciousness.

The surrounding is stirring from its slumber but this time my complete attention is on the moon - I'm waiting for the moon to stir awake or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I'm waiting to wake up to the moon so that we could communicate. Physically I could feel my eyes rolling around awkwardly whilst my gaze was fixed on the moon.

I remember at some point my mind seemed to wander off and then I came back and saw the window part was completely bulged out and this time because I caught another glimpse of the moon I forgot about reshaping it.

In this experience I could feel a retained memory of myself to a sufficient degree, I didn't forget my physical identity. I thought about all the important things in my life right now, my hopes and dreams. Returning to ordinary consciousness was very slow. I became aware of being under the duvet but it seemed to weigh a tonne. The duvet, the surrounding it all felt like a part of me. When I was moving I felt like I was moving a part of me.

I think I have a good analogy to describe what it feels like to be a part of everything. Imagine there is a field - the field could be composed of anything, mud, clay or even play dough. I'll stick with clay. Imagine the field as flat, then you see a bump somewhere, it gets bigger and bigger until it forms into a shape - and there are a vast number of shapes forming. The shapes are pasted with details and colours, soon they are alive and moving. The shapes have more dimension. Now there are so many shapes, so different looking to each other and unique but essentially they are all the same, it is all really just clay in many forms.
This is how under the effects of Salvia I visually see everything - literally seeing everything as it is.

Okay, so then I just relaxed closed eyes by which time the moon light dissipated as it moved along. Brain pulsing waves present. Then I felt energy going up the spine but I was still under the effects of Salvia which made me feel differently and I felt that had I not used Salvia I don't think I would've been able to handle that energy completely physically focused. In comparison to that other state the physcial state is like an exageration hence why Kundalini feels so intense when physically aware. In that other state the K feels like such a simple process you're not entirely sure if it's even real - perhaps it is a part of the illusion.

There were also moments where I would breathe out automatically with a sense of anxiety - no panic or sense of danger just some really anxious exhalations.

I fell asleep and dreamt about Salvia - recall is hazy but I think I dreamt about someone telling me to drink it with something or to take it in liquid form.

Friday, 20 August 2010

Ausome Water and Ormus

I am currently researching Ausome water and Ormus. I will be ordering the A Water soon, intuitively feel this is the next step and just feel so guided to head in this direction. As yet my expectations are very low but the signal to get this is so strong, with the ormus not so much but still feel guided to do more research.

I have read the testimonials and from that I've gathered it is safe - after all it is pure water energetically charged.

I'm not sure why I even want to take the Ausome water, but it is like I am being drawn to these pockets of information about this and that and then something is sparked and the urges seem to play out by themselves. It has been the same way with Salvia - I obsessed several days about the legal issues of certain natural plants such as cannabis and eventually researching this area I found out about Salvia which led me to explore an area I was very cautious about in the past.

Since the beginning of this year a lot of stuff has played out like this such as my adaptation to a vegan diet and so much more. This year everything has been synchronistically falling into place so smoothly, so subtle though I would not have been able to notice it all if I weren't so aware.

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Lucid Touch

It starts off outside a building that is very familiar to me - I am outside the primary school I attended and say out loud how everything still looks the same. I then look to the left and there is a slope which I don't ever recall being there. I go through a door into the corridor up the familiar staircase.

I am scanning a massive room, walk towards wall and I touch everything and surprised it is so solid as I expected my hands to just go through. I keep feeling my way around the place so utterly astounded with the solidity.

Can't recall anything further at this time.

Monday, 16 August 2010

The Trap

This is one of those very weird dreams

I'm with a friend, we see a man by some rocks and in a crater filled with water we could see some kind of melon sliced in chunks. The man is eating this and then offers to us. We silently eat. Suddenly we're at this man's house. The friend accidently scratches a bit of his flooring leaving him utterly anxious, paranoid and angry all at the same time. He tells me that his father is on the floor above and how we must be quite - I have the impression that his father is an old disabled man and also very controlling.

There is something creepy about this man and his father who we have yet to meet. I look around for my friend but cannot find him. The man is talking from a distance and saying that he wants to get taste of me at which point I'm panicking looking for an exit.

Soon my friend appears and I repeat to him what I heard the man say and look for an exit until we both realize we have been trapped.

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Deliberately Challenged

Chewed 6 large salvia quids at 6 am. Immediate shift - I acknowledged that everything in my life, every obstacle has been placed in my path deliberately in order to challenge me. Nothing ever happens by accident - all of it is planned.

When writing down notes of this experience I missed a lot of the events that took place and I wrote how I can never really share this stuff - the things that I am learning intimately.

There was again that sense of asking - an open opportunity to request which is available at all times and not necessarily under the effects of Salvia. I demanded for certain changes, again this came out automatically, as if finally scracthing an itch that I had unknowingly made every effort to avoid all my life.

There was movement all over my surroundings, furnitures rattled in some parts responding to me in some ways. To the other side of the room some clothes that originally hung on a rail had turned into large moving mouths. Other fabrics with a lot of patterns were like living entities I knew when I returned to physical I could still communicate with everything around me. An anology to help describe this would be to take a watch or clock, see how it functions from the outside. Then take it apart and see the inner mechanism - the parts that make it work on the outside. This is kind of like what it was seeing those things (entities) breathe, they were like the inner parts that made the outer part function. Speaking of breath - I could sense no breathing coming from the physical body.

I tried to restrain the effects of Salvia, holding onto my self retaining memory. I wanted to show to this power that even I am powerful and that I have control over the effects. A quick glance at the mirror reflected back to me a rubbery appearance - I was so astounded that my body was so toy like, moulded play dough.

Lay back down with effects wearing off slowly, closed eyes to sleep.

I slept in the most unusual way - no dreams were present and the next 3 hours or so my body was asleep but my mind was ever aware and awake.

Friday, 13 August 2010

Salvia, Kundalini and the Genie

Last night without really planning it out, on a whim decided to chew on some Salvia for unknown purpose but with the intention to keep my eyes closed in physical. Although it has been a week since I last made a trip to the world of Salvia it feels so much longer. I had a light lunch and a large feast for dinner. Brushed teeth and rinsed mouth with listerine mouthwash.

Soaked leaves very late and by that time was getting really sleepy. By 2am started chewing on 6 large quids. I had some doubts about it working while chewing third quid and had all these irrational thoughts that somehow this new batch is probably not as strong as the others that I have already masticated in past few weeks. I don't know why this doubt is always present, the lack of faith in Salvia despite having had many experiences previously.

As usual the more I chewed the more there was a shift. Some external noise were present causing interruption. As I lay my head on the pillow my hair roots felt intense like a slight movement of my head felt like my hair was being pulled from the roots. A simple touch felt like a burning sensation.

To the end of chewing went so much deeper that background noise did not exist. No sense of body. Opened eyes and a thousand entities creeped out of the physical matter. Closed eyes and then felt some other kind of shift I can't describe. A huge chunk of what took place cannot be recalled. Maybe being too sleepy and tired at that time made it difficult to recall. I do recall however that when whatever was taking place I even thought that there's no way I'm gonna be able to describe this when I get back to the physical.

Some awareness of internal body parts creeped in towards the end, I felt energy funneling from the tailbone to the back of my neck and then finally there was an intense sensation inside the head. My brain felt like it was curling, turning inside out - a sensation I cannot describe. I thought it may be Kundalini but not really so intense in that intolerable way. In the physical I've had brain surges and all kinds of K sensations but they were so intense I could not tolerate it. Here with Salvia I feel because my body was numbed and there was no completely solid feel of my physical body the K sensations were tolerable. It was like I was feeling it from outside of my body and the other times when I had brain surges I was too inside the physical body.

Just before I came back almost completely to physical there was this sudden moment of clarity. I knew that moment was open for me to make a request, for what and to whom I did not know. The moment was simply open for me to make a request, only there was one problem - I didn't know who I was. It was like without knowing who I was it would be impossible to make a request and whoever I was at that moment of amnesia was a clean slate - it had nothing that it desired.

A sudden moment of amnesia and then with some effort I recalled my name and made a request for the first thing that came to my mind which I won't share here until I get some answer for it. Though the request was really something that came out automatically without much thought.

It was like the Genie in Aladdin asking me to make a wish and the wish would be granted.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

Lucid Hold

Dreamt that I was doing some kind of show. There is a man who looks familiar, there seems to be some kind of connection. All us actors are naked and we are given weaved luxurious gowns. We are signalled to partner up. I wrap myself with a gold shawl looking piece and feel deeply attracted to the man that had caught my attention. I see a woman with a sparkling multi-colored gown - for reasons unknown I feel this man is meant to be her partner though I am really sad about this. I move away letting them get together but all the while feeling his eyes on me. Waking up from this dream there was some sexual tension.

Back to sleep Ryan Stiles is flirting with me, in a very touchy feeling kind of way. I was really enjoying myself with all the flirting and laughing though in reality I would not have been attracted to Stiles but there was something sparked in the dream.

I walk away then see him near my staircase from a distance. I see he looks apprehensive though smiling, I know inside he's not sure whether I like him. I walk up to him pretending that I hardly notice him there, not making eye contact. As I get to first step I grab his hand suddenly and hold tightly giving him the impression that I really like him. Amazingly the hand holding was the most vivid part of the dream, very solid feel and real - at that moment I was incredibly lucid but awakened abrubptly.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Three Totems

Animal totems definitely represent some important message in this game called life.

I am just learning to understand these messages and incorporating whatever I learn.

This morning as I woke up a Magpie was on the roof, a wasp got through the window and then I went to the kitchen and a squirrel in the garden caught my eyes.

Fingers Surging

Last night I suddenly had a crushing headache, all throughout in my left hand index finger there was a surge of energy, it is still there.

When I relaxed dozing off to sleep, other sensations were present and that energy seemed to surge all over my hands.

Dreams of You and Me

I dreamt about requesting help from an african woman, she looks at me smiling says "I am you and you are me". That statement rippled through my consciousness and I completely understood her.

Later dreamt about a plant pot where several different types of weird looking plants were growing. Some large roots were on the surface, some looked mutated. I look at several large stone like seeds and wonder whether I should pull one off and germinate.

Had another very vivid dream, where it is like some kind of game. I am placing right foot above a bulb glowing switch and two doors slide open, and then I am in another room, soon the dream turns into a movie and I see one of the actor, a child who plays one of the main role. His mother is present and she looks a lot like Julia Roberts.

Thursday, 5 August 2010

Salvia Brain Waves

Last night had no particular intention when taking Salvia. Chewed 7 quid at about 1:45am. Chewed somewhat fast this time. My recall for this experience is not very good as I was so sleepy and tired, I am also certain that a lot more took place but this is all I could relay.

I lay down and the shift begins. I kept saying my name to remember or hold on to myself, so that when I get there I don't forget that perspective. I always feel like this - if this identity is forgotten how will the experience be recalled?

At the beginning stage every sensation was intense biting felt hard and mouth slipped when chewing remaining bits and I remember trying to move some of my hair that was near the forehead and that felt so intense. Moving hair was too intense, I remember panicking coz I had thought I pulled my hair out and no doubt left a bald patch.

Shifted, everywhere around me are entities. I think somewhere in the left side a white spark passed by - try to see if anything is there. Nothing.

No actual image of entities - only perception.

Eventually got to a point where after looking about me, and I think my eyes always remain open physically and I do actually see the sudden shift but it's like my eyes, the lens themselves change. I close my eyes and feeling like the effects are wearing off fast this time. So I just close them, but still feeling to be in that other state. There was no body only awareness of a sensation of what felt like the physical brain. It pulses and there are sensational waves erupting, going deeper and deeper. An immense energy just kneading the brain. It was somewhat pleasant and tolerable despite the intensity. I open physical eyes, PR is put back together.

I have never experienced anything as intense as these brain waves. It was like electrode pads attached to the brain sending a high frequency but very gradually. I feel if the speed of that high frequency was increased my brain would have exploded.

I don't think I returned fully, just dozed off to sleep. Dreamt about a swarm of moths in my surrounding.

Next time I am closing my eyes from the very beginning and will relax into it.

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Fear Through Mouth

Woke up at 4am and dozed off half an hour later. Eyes closed still awake but relaxed. Suddenly jolted up and breathed out for long. With this breath there was an intense fear - it was coming out with the breath. The fear pouring out of my mouth was quite shocking. The feeling subsided a few minutes later and I went back to sleep.

I am pondering what it is, starting to get a grasp of what Kundalini is doing. This is obviously that energy - the one I think of as a Being behind this. Kundalini is the force through which that Being comes through.

I have also considered the possibility of more changes taking place - things that I might not be ready for but I remain open and willing for the change to take place however painful it may be. Letting go of all resistance.

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

Salvia Insights

Following is a list of the many insights I gathered from recent Salvia experiences:
  • Physical Reality (PR) is not real - more like a game
  • There is definitely something behind it all
  • PR was created by this Great something
  • There is no punishment when we exit
  • Hell, heaven it's all made up, part of PR
  • We're not real, we are like characters in a movie
  • There is a Being that wears us, our identity for that is a garment
  • The garment (PR Identity) is a bit small sometimes and does not fit the Being. So the Being is weaving it, making it slightly bigger so the Being can fit in and when that happens the game is more fun? That was a poor analogy and somewhat speculative but perhaps the reader will get the gist of what I'm trying to portray here.
  • When garment fits perfectly that's when the Being shines through and outwardly they appear as Buddha's, Christ's and people who are awakened in a sense.
But what is the point of this game? - it's not all bad but sometimes it can be a bit miserable. So what is the point of it? Why? Something tells me that there is no reason behind it, that we're not even trying to score for some brownie points. There is actually no point to it, nothing to attain. Of course I can't be absolutely certain of that, there is still very little that I know.

However observing the current state of the Earth I feel deeply that the PR needs improving in the physical sense but while I think from that other perspective it is like the Being in that perspective has nothing that it needs or wants because it is already perfect and really sees all things as it is.

Salvia Experiences with Light Beings

Y'day watched a clip of someone using Salvia. Very intriguing stuff and correlates with a lot of what others have experienced and some of the insights that I've gathered.

Click here to watch clip 1.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Afterthoughts on Blended Being

When I look at things now I know that there is something behind it holding it into place. Whether it is a tree or a building everything has a degree of consciousness.

You can communicate with everything because it comes from that One energy - amazing to actually see that. To truly know that.

I was thinking next time I journey with Salvia I want to make sure my intentions are clearer than the most recent experience. My intention was not very clear but despite this I got more than I could have intended for. So perhaps going without intentions is better.

I don't want to ask anything for myself, meaning my worldly endeavours. I want to know what that Being wants - what does it want? As I was blended I felt no desires from it - it seemed to be something without thought, without desire.

Is this what the Soul is? What do I do - give it permission to come in fully. Is the physical body a temple for that. Does it have a will of its own or am I the will?

What relationship does Kundalini have with all of this? Is Kundalini an awakening of that or is it simply a restructuring via detoxification of mind and body to allow an embodiment of that Being? Or is it a test to see just how much can squeeze through without causing shock?

As for that Being that I blended with I sensed no malice from it. It seemed to be something really that I cannot understand though I would have to say more than anything there was a sense of friendliness to it.

So while I do want to have clearer intentions for next Salvia journey I think for now I should go without intentions, to just let it unfold see what happens when my thoughts are not present - to listen with absolute silence.

It is definitely hard to listen with all the background noise, but even more difficult when the background noise is you.

Sunday, 1 August 2010

Blended Being

It is so hard to organise how to start these posts on my experiences with Salvia as there's this other sense of being that is hard to capture. I wrote quite a bit on my notebook but here as I relay it there will be a lot of editing for clarity.

7 quid balls chewed, there was some background noise but wasn't as bothered by it as last time. After initial stage, with merging to my right there is a row of composed energy. Like without that energy my bedside table would not be formed - it is like the energy holds everything in place. There must've been an infinite number of entities playing all the parts - chair, lamp, ceiling etc.

The ceiling, walls, everything was breathing, coming to life as if waking up from a slumber. An indentation of a face bulges out from ceiling, the lighting has formed into the mouth of this face and it appears to be moving. There's non-verbal communication but I'm not listening or I don't understand.

I am so different here, there is an addition of something or am I an addition to it? I am still Jasmine but with something more. Realizations come to me in sudden bursts of insights. I know when I am blended with that other Being with it I can mould and shape reality into the form that I envision. I also understood, actually knew that the physical body is an instrument.

I lift up my arm and to all that living surrounding I speak of my terrible relationships. I am not emotional at all just sharp with my tongue - thoughts just pouring out. I could tell physically my mouth is moving to the words but they are coming out as soft hushed whispers. I say how I would like certain relationships to change, especially of one particular person who was highly critical and a few others being very judgemental (I had no idea how deeply I felt about this until I was in that state). Then I realize I need to be very specific of the direction of relationships and I talk about spiritual, friendly, caring people. People who are filled with vitality, strong and joyful.

My head moved to the right to look more directly at that forming shifting face. Eyes felt awkward, one must have rolled inward slightly - there was some tension present.

I raise my right arm as I speak, my hand gestures very powerful conveying something. When the arms were looked at it was as if I was not looking at it but that other Being was observing. To that Being it was like the physical body was something to wear.

I thought about the power that was behind what we deem physical reality. Thought about how lotus flowers appeared with each of Buddha's footsteps, how Jesus walked on water and revealed many a miracle. Pondering this while in the witnessing of how the world is structured seeing the infinite power behind it all I laughed.

All the yogic powers in the world are illusory compared to the power that creates worlds.

In that blended state I felt a power beyond words - this power is what weaves the physical form and in an instant can and does perhaps change it.

Bursts of insights came to me. I had a realization that Salvia, the actual plant was designed for the purpose of waking the sleeping human to that Being that is in all things. No doubt not the only plant.

Another realization about this sacred plant is that it can be used to jump in the pool of creativity and with good intentions create.