Monday, 21 July 2014

Dream Reality

Just a few leaves rolled, one quid. The body is controlled, the force has come through I can feel it inside. A gripping sensation in the middle of the chest. It is through this force that everything is happening. I see them in the surrounding, they're inside the blood. Inside the whole system called the body. I need to keep reminding myself I'm not the body, in Salvia state it's clearly so but there's this feeling of being possessed. I was alarmed that I'm having this kind of effect with just one quid.

I look at the mirror at my eyes, they are closing. I look scary and wondered why I look like that until I realized the body is shutting down as if it was dying. The forces come through.

How to explain how I see them, I ponder this. It's like they're hiding all around, but they're not hiding, basically we just cannot see them. It's been set up like that and I don't know why. My guess is to experience what we are experiencing, something we are suppose to learn but even that does not sound quite right.

Had a discussion with sister about religion and stuff and I thought of her, there's something I wanted to say to her, I wished somehow I could show this and I kept repeating to myself that I'll help her to see this.

I told the others around me that I'm going to a movie event soon this week and for them to support me. It seemed like something I didn't need to ask for like whatever I wanted it was so,  even felt odd to ask. I am still in that state as I write this. Typing very fast, they don't want me to write anymore. I feel possessed at some stage my head wanted to go down forward on my fingers typing on the keyboard and it seemed to want to kiss my hands, in fact my head moved down and rested on the hands.

They can turn the body off at any time, it is this energy that makes everything so. I could see shadows and light taking on a new depth, and it's almost like they're seeping through and composed of matter all around, or is matter composed of these beings. I imagine telling someone about this and how what I'm seeing is so clearly visible and how anyone can see it, I might be told that it's all my imagination, that it is my mind creating these images and that I'm hallucinating because of the effects of  this herb but that is exactly my point. I find myself wanting to proclaim the same exact statement to everyone when it comes to the consensus reality. I need to be careful with how much I reveal, especially with them very active within this body.

The world that you see before you is a hallucination, it's like a dream and when you wake up from the dream you don't wake somewhere else but only within the dream and the dream is the reality. Reality is a dream! That doesn't mean that reality is an illusion, reality is very very real.

It's interesting while this type of Salvia experience is not new, I have gone through this many times but each time the quality is changing. It's like with each Salvia trip there's a new clarity that did not exist before.

----The discussion I had with my sister was about religion, how it is all bogus. She was adamant about things that seemed to be facts to her. I recall telling her that really we do not know what the facts are and I started to see that those who were against certain religions were just as blinded by it just as those who have great faith in religions. We are so filled with opinions. I recall wanting to express something about this to get through to her although we were not having any kind of debate.

After this Salvia session I had a little more to chew but had to spit it out quickly. At this point I was having sudden knowns presented in my mind which was related to my earlier discussion with sister. The thought was that Jesus and Mohammed as well as all other prophets were not messengers of God, instead they were actually Gods in disguise. I had this feeling that because of the times in which they existed they did not come out in the open, at least not 100%, or perhaps they did and all that is written in religious scriptures are anecdotes most of which are fabricated.

Friday, 18 July 2014

Practicing Natural Magic

Last night I soaked enough leaves to roll up two quids. Yesterday was a very hot day, my concern with Salvia was dehydration. Even though I was drinking plenty of water Salvia acts very fast on the kidneys. Some of the latest stuff that have been occuring with Salvia is sensations in the eyes and even what I feel like are the kidneys.

It's Ramadan and I have been fasting, only past few days have been unable to fast.

I got started on the quids as usual not sure what to expect, it's been a while since I've used the quidding method.  After processing second quid, I lie down on the bed with door open. Lying down eyes closed, I let go. I'm aware of everything all around me both external and internal in one space. In particular the body seems to be composed of beings, the entire body is like parts of different factories with different types of workers. Then there are the elements all around the space that feels and appears to be the same as the external.

As usual there are other beings wandering in this space, almost as if they've come to observe. Eyes are still closed and I can see (visually, but also a kind of mental perception that is hard to describe) that the beings are curious about others around me. I sense they're watching one of my sisters. I sense her walking past my door, also that she wants to come in but something prevents her, some thought perhaps. After a moment of her distraction she opened the door. My eyes still closed, I assume she thinks I'm sleeping. I go deeper and deeper feeling the ending process. There were bodily sensations present, one particular one was the migraine and intense pressure I was feeling earlier. I felt the beings behind it.

The physical life and everything being wiped out. I understand this better now, it is not that the external world is ending but the entire mental imagery that gives birth to it disappears meaning memories are being wiped out. It was all disappearing, the impact this was having on the brain and the sensations were intense.

The beings do something to alarm me which I can't seem to recall, but it makes me open my eyes especially as I try to recall my life. I see them clearly with eyes open as if they've been very much visible in that space the whole time. Again I get that inspiration for the movie, a perfect scene which I know would be impossible to recreate. My eyes want to keep closing. I see my sister seated in the opposite side of the room looking down at her phone. It was odd.

The functions of the brain feel like they are ceasing to be. It all felt so wrong. I got up a few times trying to compose, fortunately sister was out of the room by this time. 

Again I felt that raw sense of power. Recently I have been watching a show about witches, but I wasn't thinking about it until the beings bought it up. My curiosity sparked and I knew how and what made magic work. It turns out magic is not really all that magical. I tried to make commands, placed my hands over the salt lamp beside me and clicked my finger signalling for them to turn it on. I'm definitely doing something wrong but in my free time this is something I could play with. I think the key is to be in that state. We only need to use switches because we think we need to, it's part of our conditioning.

Magic is not really what my main focus is. I need to be able to go deeper on Salvia but there is this major discomfort that occurs mostly in the head region. After yesterday's trip I couldn't sleep, fidgeting and trying to shake off whatever was happening to the brain. Also I can't seem to describe what was happening to the brain.

I need to chew the quids slowly next time, have found a guide that explains this thoroughly.

Salvia Guide