I have been meaning to do an update, but life had taken an unexpected turn. My mum was quite unwell from last year. Her health was declining and I did my best to help and support her.
In many ways I had become her mother, trying to nurture her and be there whenever she needed me. The older me would've said I sacrificed a lot but the newer me the more understanding mature version now says what I gave up pales in comparison to what she gave me.
It took her death to make me realise how deep and unconditional her love was for me. My heart was fully open and receptive. Even now I can feel her with me. Though her body had grown weak and had lost the will to hang on, her spirit lingers still.
Since her death some interesting things have happened. One event involved lights flickering and going out and another is she's communicating with my sister through dreams. But another of my sister is having pretty dark dreams.
Along with my mums death there's some new events and incidents that have coming and her passing is kind of a catalyst for that change.
Whilst I did grieve and feel empty without her, the physical shell I was used to, a deep sense of appreciation awakened within. I felt deep heartfelt gratitude for having her in my life for as long as I have.
I tried to connect with the other side journeying with Salvinorin A but have put it aside for now. The thought came to me that I should use the candle flame where in the past I was able to see beings forming. That is irrelevant though especially with the way I am already communicating with her.
