Thursday, 14 December 2017

Vivid Dream Fried My Brain

I have been doing lots of dreaming, pretty much every morning waking up very aware of my dreams. In a recent dream, I dreamed of a normal ordinary scenario with some resemblance to reality. I am drawing on a piece of paper of a man with a moustache, he seems familiar (someone I have seen in a salvia experience before).

I am focusing on the moustache when suddenly the speed at which I am drawing is incredibly rapid and my head is literally moving left right in a very robotic manner as though I were processing too fast. Woke up feeling odd sensation in the middle of the forehead. Had a headache, felt like my brain had just fried.

I kept attributing it to the fact of the recent work I had to do where I was using mathematical formulas to work out calculations of probabilities such as the chi square test. Working with a lot of numbers in recent times means more of the left hemisphere of the brain operating, somehow this has been blending with the use of the right hemisphere which is to do with creativity such as drawing.

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Propelling body and through the tunnel astral experiences

I have recently experienced two astral trips. In one I became so alarmed because my legs suddenly went upwards, as though someone grabbed them and was propelling my entire body out of bed.
I was then viewing various scenes through what seemed like a hole, like a binoculars or something.

Another night / early morning similar, only as I relaxed eyes closed, in the darkness in front of me I felt a motion like I was going through a tunnel until I was even able to make out the movement visually and then witnessed various other scenes. The scenes themselves are vague to me now but I'm sure there was no significance to them.

Monday, 20 November 2017

Dream of A Clinical Life

I slept a good 6 hours trying to match my circadian rhythm according to the sun rise and sun set. I woke up after 1 am and messed up my routine by exposing myself to light and phone light. Need to work on my late night browsing habits (something that has only worsened from work).

At 4am I attempted to fall asleep and after some difficulty I managed to dose off. I became hyper aware of my sleeping body, I could literally feel it shutting down. I enter several scenes and end up in a scene where I am in some kind of clinic.

I am out of control of my behavior in this scene but take charge soon enough almost as if I am trying to take this persona in that state.

When I achieve this control I look around me. It looks like a hospital, not at all modern. There are people walking about and in one room there are standard beds with patients sleeping. I see a man who seems to be my father (in this vision). As I observe my life here I wonder if it has some parallel significance to my current life and career path I have chosen (holistic healing, health and nutrition). I'm sure there was more activity after this, right now my recall is bad.

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Extra Sleep For Dream Activity and The Magician

Lately I have been exploring on methods to improve my sleep. For a few days I had improved this greatly mostly eating turkey to use tryptophan from food source rather than supplement. I have been taking some honey with it which is what I believe helped me sleep like a baby.

Keeping room dark and getting into bed shortly after sunset without blasting my eyes with a phone or tablet screen is helping immensely. Now also using ear phones as an ear plug and this is making me sleep a lot longer.

I have had very interesting dreams, some bizarre and some very much related to daily life. Last slept the longest for 11 hours. I think I slept that long because my happy streak had been messed up day before when I achieved only 3 hours so I seemed to have made up for lost sleep.

I became alert at one point during sleep mode when I knew I was in my room, body asleep and then suddenly arms floating up. Moving on their own I let them do what they will. Suddenly the hands gestured to objects in front of me showing me things. It feels like another presence moving my arms. This has been happening for so long it just seems so ordinary now. I started to feel really bored, I recall just thinking This is getting so boring. Then my right arm raised up and like a magician it swiped the arm and voila in front of me the wall had changed so that rather than a magnolia wall I was staring at vintage design wallpaper. I was now excited because I felt like I was transported into a different place.

After this I cannot recall what happened just some dreams with my parents and other family members.

Friday, 3 November 2017

Salvia Reveals Our True Powers and Plays with My Organs

I have only chewed salvia leaves on and off recently. Sometimes I'm astounded how made up our reality is. Meaning; In the grand scheme of things none of us really exist, not even the things we perceive. This happens often and each time when I experience the insight in my salvia excursions it feels so new because coming out of salvia state I am back to reality and the conditioning of my mind makes me behave as if all this is real; ie holding onto possessions, ideals and beliefs etc.

Yesterday with all my days anxiety I decided to take a break and listen to some music and instantly I recalled my experience with a being, a God like being. A presence that warms me up always without fail.

I didn't simply receive an insight, it was more of an instant awareness that this presence is always with me in all my experiences. It is this presence that facilitates the entire functions of this body, this world. Without effort as I listened to the music the lyrics pulsate with meaning, in our ordinary state this absorption is impossible. This presence controls veins, arteries every function in our body. I became further absorbed with some retrospective thinking which is the great thing about chewing leaves is that a large part of my ordinary daily awareness ego consciousness (call it what you will) is present so that I can vividly recall vividly my experiences. With the extract it can take time to assimilate new insights.

Listening to a song and thinking at the same time, suddenly my internal parts in the upper torso are pulsating. The rhythm of my heart beat is the same as the beat of the music I am listening to almost as if by magic my organs have an intelligence of their own and can change the rhythm of my heart beat. But wait this isn't magic, doesn't our amazing organs function without any mental effort on our part already? My veins and every internal part was following the same symphony of the tones in my ears. It really indeed seem magical.

I begin to feel inspired about a movie based on this experience and my mind is immersed thinking up a plot line to convey just how I felt in that moment. An experience I would sum up as God-realization.

God-realization, according to Meher Baba, is the highest state of consciousness and the goal and ultimate destiny of all souls in Creation. A soul that realizes God experiences God's infinite power, knowledge, and bliss continuously.

The following are things I myself have been trying to understand in this other state.
God within each individual severs the connection of mans awareness of God. Why? For the play of this world can only happen when man has lost all memory of his origins. Should he know his origins then he would be like a God. But here's the paradox, that even in mans state of amnesia, he continues to create. With his expanding imagination, storage of memories in the brain cell but it seems he is equivalent to that of a Robot and possibly has a pre-programmed destiny. The Buddha has also said it: We are a result of what we think but this implies that we can then change our destiny.

If you observe your own thoughts and see if those types of thoughts correlate with your current existence the connection will be there.

So why all the Chaos? Is life a sick joke and is God then a sadist because as beautiful as this world is there is darkness? No, because we are clearly creating according to our own imaginations. I'm still trying to work out the part why innocent children suffer then.

In this salvia state I am trying to understand the relevance of humans to God. I couldn't help but think that God did not need us, nor even want us even though there is this sense of longing in the songs I listen to and these are inspired by God. For anyone of any religious denomination I imagine this may sound a little upsetting, but I'm afraid God is just too happy and jolly to care how your daily life effects you. Why? Because you have been given the True Power to resolve your life yourself, what more can a God deny if he gave you everything from the very beginning. After this experience I feel even more prompted to go back to using Law of Attraction to fix some things currently going wrong in my life at least as a new experiment. 

Another thought came flashing in, if we are the sum of what we think how can we know that which is unknown. It is seems we can't know the unknown, to know the unknown we must ourselves become unknown. Lose one's identity, central ego self. Who then comes back to express the unknown? So in the salvia state as I lose my identity, and the brain empties of all memories how can I come back to communicate what I perceive when we live in a world dictated by the 5 senses which are wholly dependent on thought. Or it could it be that the 5 senses themselves go through some kind of transformation but again the 5 senses are dependant on thought. You wake up in the morning and even though in your mind you don't think about how your eyes see, ears hear and the feeling of the duvet against your skin in that moment there is the underlying thought of "I". "I" wake up and this "I" is assigned a body. I was speculating all this in the Salvia state.

This is the lyrics to one of the songs I was listening to:

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Out of Body Meeting My Children

I woke up 2am unable to sleep (my fault since I was researching for work). Insomnia probably induced by various factors such as staying late night on the phone and recently quitting the nictotine.

By 5am I attempted to sleep and managed to relax instantly. I began to feel my arms floating and can see my hands. High sexual energy at play. Soon I'm spinning, a familiar sign that I'm about to do some astral traveling / out of body traveling. I can still feel my physical eyes and I know that just thinking to open them will snap me out of this spell. I end up near my window and begin to sink another familiar sign.

I see the garden and buildings that seem so different to me and suddenly once again I'm back in bed, arms floating and high sexual energy.

Once again, round and round I go. Out the window sinking. I am standing near my window awe struck with how realistic it all seems. I open the window where there is a white plastic like frame. As I lift it open this starts to feel floppy like it has moved out of place and then I realize just how different this window is to my actual window. I look outside, the structure of this area is similar to how it is in reality but something very different. There is a clothing hanging line in a narrow pathway of the garden but it is strangely high up. On this line I see 4 similar traditional (asian indian) ethnic outfits (familiar). 3 in dark blue color with gold patterns and one that is black with gold patterns. They look outdated.

I look in the mirror and see an image of myself, I think there was some major difference. Really brown hair but I cannot recall whether I felt it was me. 

I do wonder what year it is and if I am indeed in the same place as my house from reality. I turn to look at the room. Most of my furniture are not there but same carpet. It looks like it is night time with the lights on. Going to the door there is a lock that looks like something that would be used in a bathroom. I open the thinking that this will end because I just can't believe how real it all seems now. I walk out the door into the hallway (feels familiar looks close enough to my cousins home). I see the same carpet I have at home on a flight of stairs going up to a third floor (no third floor in reality). Part of the carpet is missing, seems home is being renovated.

I walk down to another landing and see an area that has wooden elements, I pass this area into a large room. On the floor there are two girls sitting beside a woman. She seems like a private teacher. The girls perhaps aged 3 and 4 look at me. They are distracted with my presence. I have a slight feeling that these girls are my children whoever I happen to be in this scene. I have this feeling that I know they need to study so I turn away and mostly because I am excited to see the rest of the house and investigate further.

Running down the stairs to the ground floor I see a toddler moving about, a boy I think. I walk inside a room where I see another girl aged 5 or 6. I realize this explains the outfits I saw hanging on clothing line. The girls all looked Turkish but something interesting about their hair, it looked like they had streaks of highlights. This girl seems to instantly recognize me "Mum, come here..Mum come, come here..." She repeatedly asks me to come closer gesturing with her hands wanting me to see something. At this point I'm a little perplexed and a million thoughts rush into my mind. I can't be your mum, I planned to never have kids. Is this the future? Where am I? Who am I? Maybe I should just go and check out the rest of the building, oh yeah and the garden. Maybe I have a partner, I should go check...

And just as I turn around I am back in my body, open my eyes and feel an odd sensation rushing upwards in the brain. Like hot warm air and I am left wondering the significance of this experience and how very different it was in comparison to past OBEs / Astral Travels.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Nicotine Detox Dreams and Twin Flame Meeting

Nicotine has definitely improved recall of dreams and since I stopped it (almost a week now) I'm still having pretty good dream recall. I've dreamed so much that I should really post these individually at least for future reference should I wish to try nicotine again. In this dream I had written about a stranger singing to me after and this dream I kept having strange feelings about missing this person and feeling like this person is very significant and potentially very real.

I wasn't sure what it was about this guy that left a massive impression on my daily life afterwards. I have only briefly read about twin flames a long time ago and brushed it off as something purely based on people hopelessly in love. I started reading about twin flames and in most places on the net it is mentioned that twin flames can enter dreams.

I then researched how to know you've met your twin flame. Usually one of the key signs is eye contact and both parties are usually glued to each other with the feeling of familiarity. It is supposed to be very intense, in my case I was sort of dazed not sure parts of my brain were even operating. I was mostly just absorbing the experience. Another sign is the kiss, and in this instance I would have to say it was definitely the kiss or more importantly the feeling that the kiss induced. Something I cannot even begin to compare with. It was actually magical, and just like how I felt in the dream it was like coming alive.

Was this my twin flame? Well, a  part of me for a good number of days since that dream has been utterly convinced that there's something about my dream man and I have been pondering it but then another part of me (the serious and analytical part) is thinking this could be a result of a number of bad relationships in the past and I'm just feeling really hopeful. On the night after the dream I asked for my twin flame to show up in dreamscape, instead what I got was one of the bad relationships showing up being very angry with me.

I didn't think much of it, the third night I asked once again for twin flame to show up but again I dreamed about the bad relationship being more angry with me than previously. This is when I really seriously tried to interpret all these dreams. My current interpretation is that maybe my twin flame is trying to break through but my connection with bad relationship needs to be disconnected as I am still in communication with this person. I wonder perhaps we are all psychically connected which isn't too far fetched considering I'm convinced I met God.

Dreams have continued, no bad relationship or twin flame showing up. I had one dream about the future. There is a chip that you can implant and it can program you to stop smoking - LOL
I also had one of those realistic real aware type dreams where I'm in bed and my limbs are floating lifting rising. I cannot see my limbs but I feel them.

Currently detoxing and experiencing some of the most horrendous withdrawal symptoms. I used exactly 24 lozenges (each at 2mg) and 7mg from a patch in a period of approx 28 days.

Nicotine has helped me when I first started it especially for razor sharp focus to work on an online store, but at the same time I was taking it under a lot of stress so was eating very poorly and I have been experiencing some of the withdrawals symptoms in the last week of use.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Nicotine Dream Of Man Singing Tragic Love Song

This dream is very familiar, similar to the dream I had about an old man singing a narrative song. I'll share link of that dream soon (when I find it). Last night I had half a nicotine lozenge (1mg). I also managed to get a few minor scrapes around my arms and hands moving boxes about and ended up using iodine to treat these. Iodine in the past has induced vivid dreams via painting on skin and ingesting.

In this dream I am an actress performing some act and having conversations with actresses I am familiar with. The scene changes where I'm watching a woman in a short white dress on a gloomy day with rain showers, dancing and singing but can't recall the words.

Soon enough my perspective changes where I am blending into her and entering a different scene. There is a man standing in front of me introducing himself by singing. The narrative is very interesting and as he sings it to me I seem to be re-living the scenes. Through the song I visualize him in love with his black car, to him it was a beauty. He adored and admired it because it was his own work of art. I see him literally stroking his car lol. Then he tells me about his friend who had tampered with his car because of his love for me or the character I had assumed. She had been jealous for a really long time which he did not realize. I begin to picture the scene he is singing about until we are both actually there, in the car, both of us inside. Car swerves and crashes.

There was regret in his voice revealing that he wished things did not turn out that way. At the same time he was trying to convince me of something. I am jogging through my memory (dream memories?) where I recall not receiving the kind of attention I am in that present moment. He comes closer to me and begins to kiss the base of my neck, instantly I feel a strip of my body coming to life, it was illuminated. It was almost as if that entire time I was actually invisible and only beginning to form a body with the kiss. Another kiss and another strip of the body illuminating. There were romantic feelings involved and soon enough I woke up, immediately registering entire dream sequence.

The nicotine is causing some insomnia, I've been on the phone browsing before falling asleep, also I'm not using the blindfold which helped previously. For the nicotine only some nights I plan to use the patches with iodine painting.

At this point in my life I'm going through some changes but nothing major or tumultuous, keeping an eye out on my dreaming to see what they reveal.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Nicotine Patch Experiment for Dreams

I am going to use lozenges only during night time as during the day I seem to be developing a dependency.

Last night I used the nicotine patch. It's the highest dose 21mg and may not have been right for me, not sure yet as I am only using for the first phase of sleep as opposed to throughout the day. I have definitely been dreaming more. I don't think nicotine increases dreams rather it helps to store the dreams in the memory bank for a longer duration so that upon waking recall is easier. In fact my wake up is almost like a quick transition between dream and reality. Whereas prior to nicotine use this rarely happened. I would really have to think through to recall dream events.

Unfortunately the dreams are pretty boring, they represent daily ordinary life in different settings. I only once dreamed of people I don't know since using nicotine.

I used the nicotine patch and listened to opening the heart track (hemisync) which usually helps me to sleep.
The dreams after using the nicotine patch were very clear and vivid, very life like and I was around people I know. Dreamed about harvesting in garden, lots of veg especially eggplants hanging off vines (I think egg plants don't grow on vines). Interestingly eggplants contain nicotine which I already knew when doing my research into nicotine.

I woke up around 3:30am and took the patch off. The nicotine was on my arm for a total of 5 hours, I'm sure any longer and I would have thrown up. High amounts are toxic especially for someone who does not smoke. It was still dark I should have nodded off but insomnia was difficult to deal with. It was only at 6am I decided to have 1mg of nicotine and relaxed. Then some more vivid dreaming, this time I think I accessed some childhood memory or my mind was recreating a scene that I may identify as my childhood.

I am going to write up the dreams some other time which are pretty boring but may have some significance to me if I can decipher them.

For now all I can report is there is definitely a difference in the ability to recall dreams using nicotine. For me this works if I use the nicotine before bed. Patches do not make me feel as sleepy as the lozenges possibly because patches are slowly released over time and require up to 24 hours to effectively release the 21mg.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Nicotine dreams update

I am still taking the nicotine lozenges, sometimes I've had around 1mg during day at moments when I feel I need something to relieve anxiety, seems to work.

I've been taking 1mg before sleeping and then once I wake up in the middle of the night another 1mg. Dreams are very vivid. This morning I woke up from a really upsetting (made me cry in dream and sad once awake). Again related to real life. In the dream my sister was suffering some kind of trauma, I tried to calm her and then myself trying to figure out what happened to her. This was kind of like a nightmare, a very emotional one.

Other dreams seem to be about Sil, someone I have a hard time getting along with in reality. In the dream we seem to be getting along. I am dreaming about Sil nearly everyday. Maybe I should use this as my dream cue.

I've also dreamed about my cat who died years ago. 

The dreams are very consistent and they make sense. Nothing strange and unfortunately nothing entertaining.

So far I don't believe I have been lucid, just good dream recall. I'm using small dose and amazed at the progress and recall ability, will be trying the nicotine patches soon.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Nicotine Dreams

I haven't smoked a cigarette in so many years but had the habit as a teenager and young adult. I needed at least one a day. Eventually stopped in my 20s when it was just no longer worth the coughing that would follow.

Just recently I've been observing during hot weather people smoking heavily, it is quite odd. Out in the streets it's like being inside a chimney. The smell of smoke is not exactly pleasant and I try to not get annoyed with smokers. I can usually smell tobacco from my neighbours garden or if family use in the garden and immediately close the window because I now try to be as kind to my lungs as possible. Second hand smoking is a real annoyance especially after years of successfully quitting.

After doing some research into tobacco I have found that the nicotine in tobacco can be helpful especially for enhancing cognitive function and improving memory. I went to my local shop for some lozenges or gums to start an experiment with nicotine.

As I scanned the shelf another woman stood next to me. She began to scan the shelf and quickly grabbed more than 10 boxes. She was kind enough to heed to my request of leaving two for me. My first use of the lozenge was not at all pleasant. Immediately I felt a slight tightening in the throat, too much nicotine in one go, 2mg to be exact.

I did feel different once at least 1 mg dissolved but nothing quite like a true smoke. So the past week I have been taking about 2mg per day splitting each lozenge in two and taking each piece morning and evening.

I noticed that I prefer the effect of nicotine in the evening, really paves the way for a relaxed mind for deeper sleep. The dreams however have been anything but relaxing. They are vivid and have a lot more details or I am recalling them more accurately. Some dreams have a very prophetic insightfulness to them. They are not too bad or nightmarish and are related to current life and people. Upon waking up I clearly remember all the details however I cannot recall them during the day. Another thing that I have noticed I am able to wake early and once again return to sleep if I wanted to.

Unfortunately the lozenges contain other ingredients that I would like to avoid ingesting. Next time I'll try nicotine patches to avoid the additives and cut it up to reduce the dose to avoid nausea.

Here's two interesting article about nicotine and it's effect on dreams

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Salvia Insights of Bird planes, Memory loss and mutated DNA

I went to the park without planning my intentions. I actually needed to get away from home, from family gathering, pretty hectic time.

I just randomly thought I'll take some soaked salvia. When I got to one hill, where I once used the salvia I just sat there for the longest time. Snacked a little not feeling yet I was ready to take the salvia. This part there's lots of people walking and running so I would not get the privacy I needed.
It was really windy. There were clusters of dense clouds, at times when the cloud would move away from the sun I would look at the hill, the light starts at one point and slides up the hill like an opening curtain.

The birds started to gather on the bottom of the hill. Ravens or crows.

Watching the birds flying, they seemed to enjoy the high winds. I watched and observed one only lightly flapping its wing and then allowing the wind to glide it. Almost like a kite (I did later on also watch a kite in the air).

I was eating some bread and gave some to the birds and then thought about just getting some more from the shops for the birds and hopefully by the time I was back it would be less windy.

It was less windy. I found that the hill was occupied so I went to another spot. Much better and more privacy, at least I hoped nobody would bother me. It's not easy going to the park without getting some kind of unwanted attention. I think it is for this reason my paranoia seems to increase when taking salvia in the park.

Finally when I knew the weather was warming up and the winds had calmed down I swooshed mouth with some vodka and then chewed about 1 1/2 tablespoons of salvia (it was crumbled and soaked).

About 5 minutes and I felt that nothing was happening, maybe because the salvia was soaked for several hours. I observed everything around me, the birds were croaking and I fell into a kind of reverie. I watched the birds and a helicopter pass by. A long time ago maybe when the dinosaurs were around or a time before that. There were large birds able to carry people on board, but as the scientific mind began to evolve all these birds were taken apart until they became extinct. Such a long time ago that we would not even hear it about it in this day and age because for one; even if bones were found it cannot be known that their main function was to carry humans.

Helicopters and planes are a replication of these creatures. I'm not making this up, this information came to me under the influence of salvia. It would seem that a lot of technology is a replication of technology that already exists and as humans we are simply replacing these technologies with artificial and inefficient versions.

In one moment I glanced across and the thought came into my head about Jesus. I remember reading somewhere (can't remember if it was the bible), Jesus said to his disciples to bring various herbs and place it near his body. God used the functions of these herbs to restore the body of Jesus. Who else would know other than the One who made the earth and the sky by what mechanism the human body can be restored.

I glanced at the lake where there ducks, swans and geese swimming. Just beyond the lake people were doing a barbecue and I thought about that word and where it came from. bar - be - cue back in the days it must be that sentences were short. 'bar' like a counter in a pub where people wait, 'be' meaning to be present, 'cue' doesn't mean to queue up but represents this word. I don't know but my mind was working on a different mode.

The smoke from the barbecue seemed like it was choking the trees. I followed the smoke and saw a face made up with the leaves of the trees watching me. Everything all around in that moment knew I was present and the creator of everything was with me. I kept asking how we have forgotten everything about the past, how the stories about history are actually incomplete. We know in previous times people use to recite hymns, parables and teachings and this information would be passed on. But there in that moment nobody passed these information on to me other than the one who created the space all around. I do recall reading in Anastasia Ringing Cedars Series about a creature in our past that almost flew but something happened where it did not come to pass.

It would seem that the One that created us would instill in us appropriate ways to deal with the world around us. So many animals already becoming extinct and exploitation is more rife than ever before. But some people do realise this and try to protect what precious we have left because they understand that we, or at least our bodies are dependent on the world around us. Humans were created this way. To live in nature and comply with the laws of nature. We have environmentalist and activists all currently exposing themselves to great danger but for the love of this world they are willing to take those risks.

It all seemed so natural, that this was the way it was always meant to be. To be aware of our creator and the one who gave us life. But why have people forgotten all this that is so fresh in my mind? and I know that everyone has access to this awareness. This powerful awareness and presence all around me at that moment. The answer was immediate, in the earlier days when people had this awareness they began digging away at the earth and making stuff from it. There was exposure to all kinds of substances. Fast forward millions and millions of years and today we know nearly all the developed countries are running on capitalism. We've changed the natural world so much that our DNA has mutated and as a result memories are not accessible. People of various religious denominations resort to their teachings not knowing that there is a scripture locked inside their own DNA waiting to be unlocked.

People are sort of confused and in a daze, so much that some conspiracy theorists who are saying that this is done by an elite group to keep the masses under their control seems plausible.

Aluminium is a mineral people are heavily exposed to. It has been linked to Alzheimer's and is a massive problem in this day and age because it is literally everywhere. I have known about aluminium for a while. I have been eating food and drinking apple cider vinegar in water high in malic acid to remove the excess aluminium as well as avoiding aluminium (cookware, deodorants etc). Excess aluminium will get stored in the brain and cause all kinds of memory problems both short term and long term. Even current scientists are figuring out ways to eradicate certain memories that make people unhappy. It was only a few weeks ago that I decided to get on board with the malic acid. I am also doing other heavy metal detox.

So even though I feel I can access this awareness simply using Salvia and it is all I have to do to access information about our history and learn from the One that gave us existence - it is a very short term experience most of which becomes a distant memory.

UPDATE: In one instance when I felt the sun heating up I realized and understood what hell is. Hell is when there are no clouds, the sun intensifies and all that is on earth will be set on fire. I was able to perceive in that moment that for some reason such a thing could come to pass. A long time ago people called this hell, today it is referred to as global warming.

Global warming will be like hell on earth. Even in my everyday life I have been aware the changes in behavior in certain people when the weather has intensified. Especially the latest terrorists attacks happening during this summer season. Some people seem incredibly moody, many smoke tobacco or drink a lot more in this kind of weather. The tobacco tends to calm people. There's also a high amount of aluminium in tobacco.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Naturally Increasing Melatonin for Dream Activity

Sleeping with an eye mask will increase dream activity. For me I've had to use a piece of fabric for comfort and it has been working. It's interesting because I didn't intend to do this for increasing dreams, it is something that became like an urge after I found the Better Sight Without Glasses book. I am still trying to make a habit of practising the exercises found in the book. 

About melatonin
"Melatonin is a hormone made by the pineal gland , a small gland in the brain. Melatonin helps control your sleep and wake cycles. ... Melatonin supplements are sometimes used to treat jet lag or sleep problems (insomnia)."

Although I don't have problems with insomnia, covering eyes and even making the room pitch black is really making a difference with the quality of sleep as well as increasing dream activity. This is amazing and all without taking supplements. Another thing I have doing is staying away from artificial light after dark. I'm not sure if it is just this however as I have taken one other thing during past few weeks but will exclude this to see if there is a change.

I'm still getting the dreams, I think in the past few days they would have been more entertaining had my mind not been so preoccupied with other things and going through a little bit of stress.

Another new thing I am doing is staying away from aluminium exposure. Too much aluminium in the body can be stored in the brain causing memory problems which is why it is even linked to Alzheimer's. Having a good memory makes it possible for better recall of dreams. 

I probably will not take melatonin supplement as too much of it can pose a risk. For now I am happy producing it naturally.

I am reading about cases of people who have photographic memory as this is exactly what I would like to now achieve for dream recall.  I will be restarting some of the dream inducing supplements soon to see what happens in combination with this technique.

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

The Living Trees

This dream was one of those vivid breathtaking adventurous cinematic dreams. I'm thinking it was induced by taking extra measures to block out light. Thoroughly entertaining dream. I'm looking out somewhere in the dark seems like a forest or a jungle. Suddenly a tree begins to move and I watch it walk, run and fly in mid air propelling itself forward from.

I am in awe of what I'm witnessing not knowing that I'm in a dream. I am in a different area of the forest where I witness another tree in the middle of some kind of fight, at first I wasn't sure if it was a play fight. There are other trees around this particular tree. Branches emerge out of the trees like arms and are almost punching the head of the tree in the center. The branches go through the head of this tree and a liquid kind of substance gushes out.

I'm a little startled of what I'm witnessing. Soon enough one tree becomes aware of my presence and they all freeze as if to hide their secret; that they are able to move around and navigate reality like humans. The entire atmosphere had the same feel of Pan's Labyrinth.

I'm standing there asking the trees why they are still, telling them that I saw them play just a moment ago. Then one tree starts to open it's eyes, something I didn't notice earlier. And then it spoke. "Sorry but we didn't know that you spoke to our father" said the tree. Startled by this I woke up.

Light blocking dream activity

Lately I have been using an opaque fabric covered over the eyes. Not exactly eye masks I've tried before. This is a lot more comfortable, no pressure around the head.

I'm also blocking out as much light pollution from neighbors building so that room is now pitch black. This has improved with dream activity immensely. Also have not been using the phone so avoiding all light emitted from electrical devices.

Past few days that I have been doing this it has increased dream activity as well as lucidity. I also had a very nightmarish type of dream which was disturbing (demon possessed dream of a sexual nature). On a more positive note I am sleeping a lot better.

Other dreams are very normal dreams related to reality and life situations may seem boring but the dreams seem to be predicting a future outcome.

In another dream there was a sequence of scenes with the main theme where I was losing consciousness or fainting.

I have also not taken any B vitamins or supplements for a while for inducing these dreams.

Saturday, 29 July 2017

Zero Point Energy Synchronicity

The other day I was watching a youtube video about energy and there was mention of zero point energy, I did not understand much about the zero point energy and forwarded that part of the video thinking I'll watch it next time to understand what it is.

Just yesterday I decided to watch a TV show Shut Eye recommended to me by my sister. I have not been interested in TV shows for a long time and only recently have been watching random shows. So far only Westworld and now Shut Eye are now shows I wouldn't mind watching.

Shut Eye is very interesting. The show is about a man who suffers a head injury only to start having hallucinations and hallucinations is a big interest right now. I had no idea that Shut Eye was about hallucinations and only wanted to just check it out only to end up watching all 10 episodes of the first season. In one episode one of the characters is explaining Zero Point Energy.

Dr White: "It's like Zero Point Energy."
Linda: "I don't know what that means."
Dr White: "It's a quantum mechanics concept. It suggests that thoughts can become matter. It also can explain intuition like the doors of perception that you were talking about."

There I was, pausing the video for a brief moment to understand what was happening. I was flabbergasted even though I've had bouts of extremely cool synchronicities in the past, this one was different.

I realized that I don't need google or even read any informational text. That reality itself is like one big massive search engine ready to bring into your experience whatever information you seek. Although I was not intentionally seeking more information on Zero Point Energy the youtube video seemed to have left some impression on my mind so as to bring it about in the outer reality.

I am intrigued by this and wonder what would happen if I ask intentionally for information and have the information come to me through reality.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Sensory Deprivation

After reading latest book find "Better Sight Without Glasses" by Harry Benjamin and experimenting with the palming I have come up with an idea to create a device that simply helps deprive sight.

I really liked practicing the palming exercise which was relaxing and can probably help with relieving stress as well as its intended effect which is to improve vision. The device I'll be making is similar to an eye mask only not exactly an eye mask. Eye masks tend to have a pressure around the eyes. My intention is to make something lightweight where it does not apply pressure on the eyes or even around the head. It has to almost feel as if there is nothing there.

Using palms to cover eyes is very comfortable as it is warm and gentle so the idea is something similar to that. Latex material to create this would be a more appropriate material (non toxic and closest feel to human hands) but that would be long. For now I'm creating a mock up version. I experimented this morning by placing palms around the eyes like two cups completely covering eyes. The effect was darkness behind closed eyelids but still some sense of light, then I put sheets to cover palms over eyes and this was darker. The material has to be both lightweight and opaque enough that no light seems to penetrate through it.

A talk by Oliver Sacks reveals that people with impaired vision or complete blindness have a higher tendency for hallucinations

The idea of meditation is to deprive the senses and throughout history it is mentioned in many spiritual texts and teachings. In some books about Jiddu Krishnamurti there is mention of how he would experiment with blindfolds around his eyes which I found interesting and never really considered doing so myself nor was it revealed what purpose he was trying to achieve by practicing this.

After reading a part of a chapter from the Better Eye Sight Without Glasses explaining how vision works I had my lightbulb moment that I needed to deprive my sight from all light. Why would I need to do this? In a recent salvia experience which I have not published (there are many I have not published until I get time to write it all out from my notes) something has been happening to my eyes during the Salvia trips and even after. I could simply do this at night time but the whole point is to practice it during day time to retain ordinary waking consciousness and keep all the mental faculties processing.

Throughout the day I have been getting sharp pains in right eye. Since then this book came to me maybe by some good fortune and I know that I have to be careful in my next trip not to open eyes. The cup around the eyes will keep them closed for a much deeper meditation, it's time that I actually stopped opened eye salvia trips. There's also the unknown element in that I don't know why but there's some reason why I have to do this but the fear of messing up my vision somehow by all the hallucinations is more than sufficient.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Synchronicity Day

"Synchronicity (German: Synchronizität) is a concept, first introduced by analytical psychologist Carl Jung, which holds that events are "meaningful coincidences" if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related."
I have not been all that aware of synchronicities for quite some time now except for today which was quite hard to miss. First only the other day I was reading through a newspaper and ended up in the astrology section where the following was applied to my star sign:

"Interaction and involvement with key others could enrich your life over coming weeks. The deepening of an association could be the beginning of a creative collaboration that proves very fruitful."

I very rarely read my horoscope but keeping an eye out for this.

I picked up a second hand book on Better Sight Without Glasses by Harry Benjamin. When I first picked up the book which was in a fair condition I thought I would only pay 50 pence for it. The book had caught my attention because it was about health, a topic I am interested in as much as I am in altered states of mind. The man working the stall asked for a pound. I pondered if I should buy it and asked the energy where my head nodded in the affirmative. I was almost ready to pay when approached by another gentleman striking a conversation with me.

For the longest time we were talking about stem cell and other health related topics. I'm not well versed in stem cell but my understanding now is that the idea is to inject cells which replaced damaged cells and causes a healing. There was also mention of Jesus and how he was able to heal people and all of what he was able to do may suggest all or most diseases have psychosomatic factors. He truly believed that all illnesses could be healed psychologically. 

But it is important to understand the actual causes of these diseased states and personally I feel there is more environmental causes than any other cause contributing to these illnesses. Our food is not of the highest quality (pesticide, gmo, agriculture damaging soil etc), our brains do not get enough oxygen due to urban living (think of all the deforestation), the majority of people live incredibly stressful lifestyles.

Synchronicity 1: He told me about his daughter a practicing doctor now wishing to get into Nueroscience a branch of science that has piqued my interest recently.

Synchronicity 2: Something has happened to my right eye since recent Salvia experiences, for this reason the book on eye sight has come at a convenient time. Maybe I really should practice the techniques in the book. I have already tried the palming and it was very relaxing, felt like I could meditate like this.

Synchronicity 3: He tells me about the history of transgenders something that I believe is occurring due to some kind of biological mutation and is increasing and will continue to do so at a rapid rate. We parted ways and I knew then he was a devout Christian when he said "God bless". When I was ready to purchase the second hand book another worker at the stall decided to charge me 50p. I got home and eventually began scanning through the book. 

I'm not sure how I knew this but deep down before I started reading I was sure that somehow this book was connected to the conversation I had with the man I met earlier even though it seemed unrelated. I didn't think much of this and eventually I decided to try one of the exercise from the book known as palming but the picture to illustrate the method was missing. 

I turned to google and did a search on Harry Benjamin, the author of the book "Better Sight Without Glasses". Google brought up results on a different Harry Benjamin. I clicked on wiki link on this other Harry Benjamin. This other Harry Benjamin just happens to be a German-American endocrinologist and sexologist, widely known for his clinical work with transsexualism. The connection that I was trying to make between the book and my earlier conversation was found without me intentionally looking for it.

I think reality consists of these synchronicities but we may not be aware or make the connection, however I'm sure connections can be made on a daily moment by moment basis.

Friday, 21 July 2017

Your brain hallucinates your conscious reality

 Right now, billions of neurons in your brain are working together to generate a conscious experience -- and not just any conscious experience, your experience of the world around you and of yourself within it. How does this happen? According to neuroscientist Anil Seth, we're all hallucinating all the time; when we agree about our hallucinations, we call it "reality." Join Seth for a delightfully disorienting talk that may leave you questioning the very nature of your existence.

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Faith in God

I've had my fair share of encounters with God (with and without Salvia). I've never been convinced by my religious upbringing about the existence of God. I remember always saying I'll believe it when I see it, I cannot blindly accept anything. 

Even though my encounters with God on Salvia are compelling they eventually faded in the background due to so many distractions. However the experiences as they occure were so compelling that I just couldn't believe how everyone was giving God very little attention. This was the case in the duration of the experiences and thereafter. More importantly I wanted to understand why people were unable to perceive it. Why was I unable to perceive it unless taking certain stimulants and entheogen. Entheogen means "that which generates God/the divine in a person" so it seems indeed it will generate encounters with God.

For a long time, since Kundalini awakening my body has been doing a lot of the involuntary movements without my effort. These are usually light and can be controlled by me, however when I relax they can take over, not so much by force but a surrender of my will over these movements. The interesting thing is I can ask questions and get a yes or no answer. Recently these movements have transformed and seem to be the movement of another form of intelligence within my body, almost like something else is asserting it's will. I have had different types of encounters with God which I have categorized below.

The Big Friendly Giant

This was in my early salvia  experiences where I encountered God like being only did not call it God.
Salvia Illusions
Salvia Kundalini and the Genie

God of Love

This was a merging with God and I recall being at the brink of completely merging where I would lose all sense of my identity, I was being cradled with pure positive love energy that the experience could be compared with a mother lovingly cradling her baby. Pure rapture and joy, however thoughts of worldly existence had me back in my original state.

The All Encompassing God

This is when I perceived God everywhere. With a completely different perception I was looking at God directly. I had an instant knowing that this was God, master of existence and there was no doubt about this. My reaction was one of complete shame because of the current state of affairs around the world, war, destruction and the petty somewhat miserable monotonous lives people were living. Instantly I needed to put my intention forward, I like I was apologizing on behalf of the entire world. Asking for forgiveness that we were all caught up in our miserable lifestyles and I vowed to bring happy people, that all people will face God in joy. Again this is another Salvia experience.

God as Self

This is the type of God experience where one experiences God as ones own Self, meaning a complete merging. There are many people such as Sri Ramana Maharshi and Jiddu Krishnamurti that have spoken about this. Krishnamurti was careful actually not to discuss it and has even said that people create God, he made that very firm in one discussion. However in one of his poem he makes it clear that God is his own self and that he had lived countless of lives to arrive at that conclusion however this could be his beliefs prior to abandoning the society he was a part of. Krishnamurti also speaks of the mind, not the mind of an individual but a greater mind too vast to comprehend. It could be that this vast mind is how some would interpret as God.

Awareness of God in the Body

In my case this experience is very much like being possessed by an entity. This has been my most recent experience since last year. I experienced this type of God awakening with mj and red wine and music. The experiences themselves are convincing for the person that experiences it. However after it is over it makes a person question their own sanity. I've often found myself pondering if maybe I'm possessed by some kind of demon trying to conquer my mind and body. But if I have faith in that then why should my faith in God be any less. Now generally you might think if it is God, then God should be able to perform miracles through this body. Let's take Moses and Jesus as examples, they were able to perform miracles and so a great number of people followed them and because of these 2 individuals we now have one of the major religion that to this current day is still in existence.

However for me just being alive to bear witness to such a joyous being was a miracle. You become so humble in its presence that there is no denying you are in the midst of an extraordinary being. I believe that it was Rumi that had this type of experience, for him it was not a matter of the manifestation taking place in his body but that of Shamz.

The euphoria is what makes it convincing, and if you taste a little drop of it that alone is more than sufficient to last a lifetime. The euphoric aspect of the entire experience could be tied to the music and songs I listen to. However in those states I've listened to singing in foreign languages which also seemed to induce the feelings of euphoria. In fact the euphoria is also there when I don't listen to music. Only difference without the music is there is a sense of peace and calm euphoria whereas the music is more hyperactive euphoria. On the physical observation my eyes had transformed, my face had delicate expressions all uncontrolled by me, I believe that this was because of being relaxed as this is when it can assert more control over my bodily movements.

So after all these experiences of God what is my stance on the existence of God? Is God real or simply a figment of my imagination? Did God create us or is God simply a man made idea? My very sincere answer to that is "I really don't know".

Could this simply mean a lack of faith in God? I know only one thing of this, when I have those types of encounters and I feel that energy using my sense perceptions to observe my surrounding and join me in my experience there is no doubt that I am with God.

Saturday, 27 May 2017

Memory Enhancement for Unrecallable Memories

Awoke last night after 2am by 4 or 5 am back to bed. I relaxed and a few times was staring at my room with closed eyelids - very visible and clear. I did not move my head, still relaxed.

As I relaxed deeper I began hearing sexual moans from a woman, at first I was worried that the sounds were coming from me because I could also feel bodily sexual sensations. After this I entered different very vivid life like scenes and kept trying to memorise everything occurring.

When I woke up around 7:15am I had forgotten most of it.

I am playing around with memory, trying to enhance it with amino acids and other natural ways to improve memory such as trying to eliminate as much aluminium from my diet and life because this is one major heavy metal toxicity people suffer from. Aluminium toxicity is also linked with alzheimer's and possibly dementia, in short it seems to destroy memory receptors possibly if the heavy metal is stored in the brain.

Another thing that I have been looking into is a Faraday Cage around my bed for meditation and good sleep. Faraday cages are apparently able to block frequencies and emf so will need to give this a try to see if it can help. Most Faraday Cages are made of aluminium so will need to research the best way to build one.

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Hearing Voices and Mind Scare Tactics

Relaxed 6ish am, passing airplane, right ear drum vibrating, blackboard scratching sensation making me hold onto myself tightly. Calmer. Hearing voices, mostly male and foreign languages. I remember Slavic languages, Russian, Chinese and other unfamiliar. Did not understand any of it. No English.

Few times was aware of room, chair with jacket and observed it looked more up in the air seemed like it could morph into body but trying to remember my room features stopped me from being afraid. Sleep Paralysis type of fear incidences could be pure imagination, our fear gives the power to channel imagination in fearful direction. I remember staring at chair with jacket hanging could have morphed into grim reaper or some other scary form. Why the fear? Possibly being in a space of unknowns and body goes into fight or flight mode.

The voices were a lot clearer than my past experiences, that blackboard scratching effect was incredibly strong but managed to overcome it. I have noticed this seems to be linked with the airplane sound.

Some might view this as a clairaudient experience. I think it could be linked with past memories and if we do have past lives something picked up from there. I have been thinking about memory and how this plays a role in our everyday living.

I did also think what I usually think when this happens, that the brain is an antenna and I simply tuned into a radio station which could be the people on the airplane speaking in foreign languages.

"Scientists, in recent years, are finding that the Earth's magnetic fields are far more significant than they previously thought. They now know that the human brain contains millions of tiny magnetic particles. These particles connect us to the Earths magnetic field in a powerful way as a human antenna. We are both transmitters and receivers of subtle energy, or consciousness; a timeless interconnectedness that somehow encompasses the very foundation of our life."


Saturday, 13 May 2017

Dreaming of a distant planet

This morning woke up from a very other world like dream. Prior to the dream had two dreams of a sexual nature. There are three characters. First character on the floor. A woman moves away talking. "You need to have more confidence. Move without fear" she goes onto show how it's done. She moves to the third character. Not quite a body but bone like form. The form is worried and asks "are you sending me to another planet?" There's a sense of panic in his voice. "No"  she picks him up without touching him and then says "I'm going to turn you into another planet" and propels him into the air.

As his body disintegrates and slowly turns into a planet moving away in the distance but still visible I am amazed and excited with how vivid the entire scene is. She then begins to narrate "in June 3045, around a hundred years ago" as if directly to me, then she mentions something about London. I tried to absorb her every word but unfortunately woke up.

Had my vitamin b complex, b6, NAC, plus l-theanine last night prior to bed, more l-theanine than usual and it is something that I took a break from for a while. I've also recently started taking Boron supplement which helps with calcification and remove flouride from the body and doing the iodine painting on skin. Also I do think it's possible that ovulation is connected to these types of dreams. The year might have been 1345, so recall is a little hazy there. I recall as I got excited with how vivid the experience was it I started to shift out of it and even knew that it was going to end because my excitement.

I wish to have these dreams everyday, extremely entertaining for someone like me who has a very short attention span in front of the telly.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

An Update of Current State of Affairs

I think an update is due since I've hardly posted anything recently although I've been saving drafts of dream events that I did not feel like publishing.

I have been writing for many years on this blog which began when I decided to migrate away from certain interests which included astral projection / obe and delve deeper into more meaningful things like 'who am I', 'what am I doing here', 'what is this world', 'who created it' and so on.

Did I mention that I had an encounter with God? I'm sure it's somewhere in one of my older posts. The several encounters I've had always pops up, deeply ingrained in my memory incidents that I will never forget.

I've never really believed in God although the idea was always appealing especially in times of crisis because the alternative is I am completely alone and helpless.

Just to debrief, my encounters with God occurred during taking stimulants and in altered states of awareness (usually at some point sleeping mode). The most profound encounter was when I had mj and another when I had red wine, both experiences were very similar. I've also read about euphoric experiences after taking such stimulants but nothing quite so similar. I recall plugging the ears and having some songs playing. It happened suddenly when a feeling so foreign yet so desirable started to slowly creep up on me. As the song began to play my body was part possessed, the movements were incredibly delicate, really soft and gentle, absolutely loving and delightful - not at all romantic.

With each song the feelings were amplifying. I had listened to these songs for a long time and only in that moment I understood where the inspiration came from and what it all meant. Each song was a communication to me, to all and it was all about love. Not romantic love, not even the kind of love one has friends or family but actual, real, true love. I felt something like this during a liver flush incident which Salvia played a part with (way back when I was trying to detox, liver flushing produced a very euphoric high which felt like a deep abiding love all over), but that was love that I was feeling externally and it was just as powerful.

This was inner love, and I'm sure I could have exploded if it were not for the other presence. I simply call it God because that is how I identified it as, the one that created me, the earth and all others.

My eyes were scanning the room at some point and God, Master, Lord, Universal Intelligence or whatever you want to call it was observing my room having no particular opinion about it just taking in everything. It's glance was soft and my entire experience was akin to devotion. This was actual devotional worshiping.

But here's the really unusual part, I wasn't being devotional or worshiping this presence, instead I was being worshiped and the other was devoting itself to me carrying all the messages of love. Love is big, huge it's no wonder why it's impregnated in almost all songs. I never really got a chance to express even an iota of the love expressed towards me because I had become complete putty in the presence of this other. The encounters were like a reunion.

At some point however, I felt some of the words were exactly what I would have wanted to say in return. Almost like reversing roles. In many religious text especially Guru Granth Sahib there is the role of the disciple and master or servant and the lord. This was very much like that.

This must have taken place several months ago and since then it has not faded from my mind and it has not happened again at least not with that intensity - I now generally just get a buzz or slightly tipsy from wine but that's about it.

Started reading Anastasia Ringing Cedars Series again, the books touches upon life, God and everything about a persons existence. I absolutely love these books and do believe most everything written in these books.

A very tiny part of me seems to be skeptical about the experience but a bigger part of me is convinced about my encounters and though they don't seem like enough and I should get more proof before I decide that I have not lost my sanity. I won't deny that there are other explanations other than that I had an encounter with the Creator of life.

One thing I cannot deny is the feeling that came about during the encounter. There is nothing like it with which I can compare it to nor do I recall ever feeling this way except during the liver flush. This feeling which I can only call love is central to peace, harmony and joy. This is absolutely what is lacking in everyone, it is this quality alone that could end all wars.

You can probably hallucinate gods, demons, angels and monsters but not love. I have been pondering for a while and this suspicion has been with me since my liver flush, that what blocks this feeling is a poisoned body. We currently live in a very poisoned world, pollution, climate change, deforestation and so much crap in our food. We're so busy carrying out so many meaningless task that we don't have time to question how and why we're here instead we are constantly trying to just survive.

So what I am currently focused on is healing of the body and mind and trying to put my theory to the test. I'm hoping to do another detox soon and I'll be playing around with nutrition.

There's also a phenomena I want to learn more about where I could come out of a dream vision and be back in my room (happens during dream like state) and see that the dream vision is simply morphing back into my current reality. Only way I can explore this is by being more aware in my sleep state during dreaming and just as I am coming out of these dreams.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

The Bay Window Beings

Having many vivid dreams lately except the following dream was beyond what I am used to, it was too real. The most important thing is how comfortable I felt in this vivid vision. I have been incredibly relaxed lately, taking some time off and free from anxiety and consistently taking the vitamin b complex with extra b6.

After waking up at 1am then back to sleep by 4 or 5am. Scene changes vivid dreaming. I'm relaxing and above me Rs bay window and ceiling is pulsing with life. Faces emerge, with black string like drawn hair. They look like cherub babies. Laughing giggling without much sound. I am so happy to be in the presence of these creatures. I feel as though I know them. They seem like friends and I do not feel threatened. At one point how they morphed was disappearing and then they emerged again.

This time gestured with left hand for them to come closer to me. Suddenly I thought what if I get scared with them so close to me. I hear little steps running close behind me and think niece who is a toddler got up from sleep. I try to open mouth but I'm paralyzed. She mumbles. I feel like she's afraid especially if she sees me in this paralyzed state though I know it's just sp. I say her name and she says yes. She sniffles. I'm really worried and move hands shortly snapping out. Awake I see that my niece is not actually in the room. I look at the curtain, black borders and cream part and it's a bay window. It was all this that morphed into that scene. I think reality is just as morphed but something makes it real to us that we think this all is the real. This experience was also unlike any lucid dreams or astral experiences, this time the experience was too vivid it almost mimicked reality.

So now that these are scenes morphing from one to another is there an original and if so what is it? Is it all just in the mind, a conjuring of images animated? If it is in the mind. Then what is the mind? Are the eyes simply a projector for images? All I know is that was a very beautiful encounter where I felt naturally happy as though these cherub-like beings raised my vibration. I wish to be in their presence again.

At times I have been taking the vitamin c powder mixed in food and other times in juice taking breaks some days. Have been consistently taking NAC.

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

The Illusionist

I have started the Vitamin B6 a few days ago, taking a scoop of this which probably works out to about 100mg but will need to accurately measure. Last night hardly sleeping. I listened to a hemisync open the heart audio and woke up around 11ish pm. After that awake the entire night. I am not sure if this is what has been causing the drastic insomnia or something else going on. Around 5am still awake I relaxed my mind as much as I could. Suddenly aware of being asleep, visuals of my leg raising up, floating sensation. I just quietly focused, no thoughts in my mind. The legs went back into original position.

Then my legs raised up from the left side, and swirled to the right forming a half circle. At this point I was really giddy, giggling and finding it sort of funny. It was almost like being tickled. Then body started to spin. The rest were just sensations and very little recall of some incidents.

Once again when legs raised up they looked transparent, ghost like. The thought came to me during this transparent view. That all these episodes of seeing body, just simply seeing things was like an illusion, a virtual reality of some kind where everything is images but they appear real and depending on how vivid awareness is which is what determines how real the experience feels.

The question I'm asking is what makes this reality so real? and we think dreams are simply dreams. Some dreams are just as vivid as reality. I couldn't help but think reality is also just as dreamlike but we don't see it as such because of our level of awareness.

I think thoughts of this reality make it solid and strong. Most people, myself including have our minds dominated by thoughts of this world. It would seem the world is based on our thoughts.

I want to compare some things between "reality" and "dreams" and try other experiments. I also feel ancient scriptures and texts can offer some insights, and there are some things I've read already read that give some clue.

Friday, 27 January 2017

Entering Different Vivid Dream Scenes with Complete Awareness

Woke up late night then sleep again by 5am. Dreams at first were of a sexual nature, which soon transformed into full vivid awareness of changing scenes. I remember at some point simply floating. Then spinning fast into new surroundings.

I have been extremely busy and stressed lately and have often skipped the vitamin b complex. Yesterday I took the B complex plus NAC which may have helped with this vivid awareness after some dreaming. Also I should probably note that I have had some alcohol in my system, thinking that as NAC which is a liver detoxifier, is processing alcohol in the blood maybe this detoxification process is causing dream scenes of a sexual nature and also the vividness and intensity of the dream.

I have been meaning to do the dream programming but mind is preoccupied with other things at the moment.

Thursday, 19 January 2017

Life is but a dream

Last night angry once again looking for closure from a relationship. Drank two glasses of wine to calm down. Slept late but awoke around 2am back asleep again at 4ish am. There was a half moon (filling from left side). Recently I have been blacking out room but decided to let moonlight slip in since this was natural light and not yet completely visible to me rather moonlight falling on other side of room. Mind too occupied I began taking deep breaths and felt intense sensations in middle of forehead  (third eye). I saw geometric spiraling and vibrating patterns and other shadow movements. At some point it seemed like lights were flashing as though flashing a torch right next to me.

Relaxed and soon I was in a dream scene with similar people and relationships. In one scene I'm at home awake in bed grab phone beside me and I start to play something. Phone slips out of my hand. I feel like I'm slowly losing consciousness but can't recall what I had. I felt so alert awake and like myself even though losing consciousness. I am on a sofa feeling like I am paralysed. Mum walks in, she looks like mum in reality but slightly different. She tells me how certain furniture was moved and mentioning her brothers name. I repeat the name which is same one in reality. I say I need to tell her something, how I can't see properly can't move losing consciousness and it could be I took some drugs. Then I get a glimpse of hands covering my mouth. Mother trying to smother me to death! Struggle a little, soon as hand raises up it looks like my right arm. The suffocating stops and I see a man to my right running towards me seems like he's about to attack me. I go in to fight or flight mode. In this moment I realize life is like a dream and I start to sing "life is but a dream". I emerge out of my slumber no longer caged in one dream scene. There are more scenes. I am free. I roam and enter into each scene with no directions. I am greeting all characters in each scene. I feel a deep sense of joy with this dream. In one scene looks like a kids play area. I see their toys. These toys have come to life some of them could be like Alice in Wonderland. I greet everyone and communicate. The characters are cheering me on and gravitating towards me. Like a large family. And the whole time its like I'm me there but I'm just more there than I am here. I'm more acclimated to the scene and characters there. Almost like this reality here is just another scene but only a lot more vivid here right now as I write this. Those dream scenes became the foreground and this reality was some where in the background.

This was an amazing experience, felt like it was more than just a dream or even astral projection.

Friday, 13 January 2017

Programming your dreams

I want to be able to control my dreaming and what I dream about, will be figuring out ways of programming dreams. For now I have noticed that most dreams I have are correlated with something from my everyday reality. A method I will try just before falling asleep is to think about certain things, paint impressions in my mind and dream about them but maybe also do it throughout the day.

While I do believe that dreaming helps release toxin build up in the psyche I think it's possible to navigate through the dream world with intention and achieving lucidity to control what you dream thereby effecting something in the brain. 

I will continue playing around with supplements for enhancing dreams since lack of dreaming is caused by certain deficiencies and possibly even toxicity. 

I'm going to keep external journal for the time being and post my experiences and what I've learned periodically.

Dream Interpretation - Banished and Demon Possession Exorcism

Last night before falling asleep I communicated with another part of my consciousness to give me dreams. I should have been specific about what I wanted to dream about because I ended up having a really weird cryptic and extremely unpleasant dream.

I am babysitting a child, sister present and her child different from the one in reality. She is vacuuming and I am giving some item(s) I cannot recall now. After perhaps a series of dreams I cannot recall dream skips to Gu who is staying at my house. She's been either kicked out or voluntarily left partner. In dream her partner is Shn. He comes to my house and sees me and family watching things on laptop can't recall what but he seems humiliated and angry. He tries to divert our attention by watching something that seems important to him. Starts off viewing on screen movie of kids with their parents on a train then it is as though I enter the scene and become a part of it.- In reality there is a situation with Gu who has been told to leave only not by her partner and she is not married to Shn. Shn looked more like how he looked during his very dark days. I am wondering more and more how dreams are weaved, why do we dream of certain people and how are they created? Going to research into more what parts of the brain effects dreams and study some Carl Jung books.

Something has gone terribly wrong and I need to protect this family from a young man but it turns out he's part of the family maybe a protective big brother. Each family is being taken around a certain time only to return possessed. I'm still not sure how possessed as I have yet to witness the worst. I tell him to pour them alcoholic drinks and they sleep well, except as I observe them from a distance  one of the children is pulled out of their bed and taken underground where child gets possessed. Big brother is not around so I attempt to depossess child. Have a holy book in hand not sure what religion but I end up reciting verses. Child is getting vicious as I am performing the exorcism, child trying to take book and destroy it, suddenly seemed important to memorise the book verses. I woke up with the words very vivid in my mind and it became clear that some part of my consciousness was creating the words as I verbalized them. Like for a few seconds I was able to view the creative thinking that goes into the dream as if I myself was scripting it and playing the part. - I think this definitely is trying to address something within family, where I have noticed two kids acting very hyperactive and at times it's almost like they're possessed. The alcohol is something I drink maybe 1 or two times a month (red wine) to put me to sleep, doesn't always work but keeps my mind balanced. This was clearly a very disturbing nightmare evoked by current reality nightmare situations. I feel the NAC which is known for it's liver detoxification is helping to release certain feelings.

Woke up 4am back to sleep after 5am after having my second concoction to help with sleep. This time added 1.5ml measured dose of inositol with all the vitamin b complex and niacin.

Before falling asleep relaxed and had a braingasm. Intense pulsating energy on top of head and deep inside brain which seemed to start between brows. Had dream about sister telling me how she's benefiting keeping company with solicitors. Either money or some other benefits. It seems suspicious and unlike her. She tells me her superior said it's fine (a law firm). Somehow the main boss says using that room is forbidden. Sister looks defeated and I tell her it's for the best and some things that happen are just for our good.

Then I'm at home going in a room invisible sexual energy is coursing through my body. Eventually awaken - I think this is one of those dreams where an anomaly should have made me lucid but then all these dreams have something completely out of place but whilst dreaming it's like these fragments of the dream are accurate just as we awake into what we call reality and think that everything is as it should be. The braingasm part was not dream induced but more to do with relaxing and I simply let go of the sensation and went with the flow.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Dream Interpretation -Dreaming about Brothers and Short Distance to Clockworks

Today's dreams involved all of my brothers.
In one dream I'm in some kind of gallery where items are like memories of different people's realities and I am browsing the pieces, some are like frames with pictures.

Next I'm looking at a map, looks like a screen showing a large scale distance and the destination which has two layers of these large clocks sliding and colliding against each other but not breaking, instead there is a light emitting as large clock pieces meet. Very cinematic something that could be recreated using CGI. There is a crowd in awe of this.
I'm telling eldest brother how it took me short amount of time to get to this place. - What I'm taking from this dream is something happening in a short amount of time, possibly something spectacular or I am expecting something to happen just like this. Dreaming about all of my brothers could also represent the relationship I have with them and have read online that it could represent the brotherhood of humankind.

Unable to recall the other dreams about other brothers as waking up from those dreams I had to get my day started quickly.

Dream recall is getting a lot better since I'm dreaming more and being able to write them down where as for some time this had stopped. I think it's the NAC supplement that is helping. I'm also sleeping a lot better. The list of health benefits from NAC is amazing and is working out for now. I'm looking forward to adding the vitamin b6 soon.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Dream Interpretation - Career Dream and Reality Connections

Career Dream
Giving out cv on tube escalator and Y was there. So many people underground packed. He's giving his cv out with such ease and confidence. I am hesitant and holding back, lacking confidence.- Dream suggestion perhaps to be confident about a career change or opportunity.

Reality Connections
Shannon Doherty is a lawyer in this office.
A young man puts in slice of ginger in window post. Unusual but she picks it up and out of kindness shows him she appreciates it by eating it. He tells her that he eats a lot of ginger. In office there's some stress. Shannon is going through a massive document. Get the sense she's was adopted and now taking on a case to prove her biological fathers innocence. Manager / boss approaches young man who is now sitting down. Boss says that Shannon first joined the office as a young Bulgarian student. He remembers first time she called office how enthusiastic and determined she was to get the job. I am viewing this dream from the perspective of young man. - Shannon Doherty played Pru in TV Series Charmed, my favorite character and one of her ability was to astral project. I have been eating lots of ginger lately to stave off a cold and so far something I'm doing is helping. There was a lot of stress in the dream but not sure how the biological father story line and how to interpret this.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Dream Interpretation - Sexual energy on the head

Woke up from a very highly sexual dream this morning. People having an orgy on the bus, they are all disturbingly horny and their animalistic behaviour did not make me feel aroused, instead there was a pulsating lump on top of my head.

As the sexual acts are increasing the energy on the top of my head is also amplifying. I have felt these sensations in the head before in the brain where it feels incredibly unbearable. At one point I recall touching the head to feel this lump which made the dream even more lucid and sensations even more unbearable. As the the sexual interaction took place the sensation of the lump on head intensified. It was like a brain orgasm but not quite. More like an excessive amount of energy being supplied in head which was just too small to contain.

- I started to understand something and I was thinking it at the time dream took place. Sex and why people are lusty is because people are after some kind of energy. Spiritual gurus have mentioned a state known as nirvana or a state of bliss. It seems somehow that sex is like a channel towards this state but is abused for sensual and lusty pleasures.

Sunday, 8 January 2017

Dream Interpretation - Birth of Many Babies and Shouting

Birth of Many Babies
A came to tell me his wife just had 6 babies. I am in their room - it's different. There's so many babies and count 6, SP is holding one. All normal natural birth. She could not tell she was carrying 6 but could now feel that there are more to come out. I take one baby to care for, other family pitch in to take a baby to look after. In one scene baby I got seems really advanced  moving around as though it was already developed. Baby vomited at some point. - Not sure how I would go about interpreting this dream, perhaps it related to advancing before one is ready or commonly thought to be advanced.

Dream moves onto relatives visiting. Cousin Lo is sitting with my sibling and her dad. My dad is calling me and I am constantly answering back but he's not hearing me. Lo thinks I am being rude when I start to shout out loud back because I'm not being heard. I open the door to show her my dad is standing right outside door. - I relate dreams of these particular cousins as detox sign. The shouting may have something to do with being not heard and it causing me frustration.

Saturday, 7 January 2017

Real life dream interpretaiton

Dream interpretation can be complex, here's a few for dreams I was able to recall this morning.

Close and affectionate to child A whom in reality I'm not at all close to - it seems this dream is working out some issue

In SPs room eating her chocolate - she has two types one milk chocolate and other dark. I'm folding her clothes and wondering if I am doing it right. She walks in on me and I quickly shut chocolate drawer and  tell her I just had a few of her chocolate - SP is someone I don't get along with due to her negative and destructive attitude, the chocolate is representing chocolate binge issue I went through recently and there is a chemical in chocolate that induces the feelings of love

Walking down my street which looks slightly different I look at a door where letters have fallen. Woman from across Street picked it up. It has information about a deceased person. She closes eyes expressing sorrow and grief but keeping it together so nobody notices as if hiding something. Another woman at home answers the door to this woman. This other woman brings out a document that says duplicate. Some kind of certificate, possibly marriage. She hands it to the woman at the door - seems to be some kind of a feud between them. The document is a fake.- I wish I could interpret this dream but seems complex, a lot of it seems related to mistrust, but there's also the element of sorrow, grief and even regret.

At first this dream is about breast enhancement then suddenly some of Sho's friends and my three sisters emerge into the scene. I am pulling a luggage but trying to do it smoothly. At first using 4 wheels but then tilt to drag at which point I speed up at opposite end next to two sisters also Ro catches up telling me she is going with Sho, gonna meet her at station. Soon I am walking on a street where birds are not afraid of people. They land on them, some of them too close. At one point I am trying to shake them off. Suddenly see a big bird flesh half eaten, in shock I wake up. - This could be interpreted using bird symbology, the fear that emitted from half eaten bird flesh could be the fear of death, and the close contact of flying birds which made me agitated could also mean something but honestly have no idea what.

I did the interpretations a few days after dream, I think it is ideal to do them on the morning of recall so that message of dream is clear.

Friday, 6 January 2017

Astral tripping inside other bodies, bedroom scenes awakenings.

Last night I practiced the third eye meditation this time pointing finger right into the middle between eyebrows, once eyes were locked in closed eyes and then focused. Fell asleep until 1am and had some of the vitamin b concoction which now sometimes includes nac and around 3am I went to wash the dishes. Then back in bed after 4am, I relaxed and tried to sleep. Suddenly moving upwards this time felt more ready. It's dark still feels like night time in this other house with floral maroon wall paper. Keep thinking I'm at my sisters place and I know only my brother in law would be at home. I couldn't help but think I was there because something is wrong here, maybe BIL is having some kind of emergency. There's a lot of spinning motion as I emerge in each new surrounding. The theme seems to be night time. Soon enough I am aware of my sense of awareness/consciousness being inside different bodies and awareness waking in each of these bodies.

Thursday, 5 January 2017

The Grandpa Song

Series of dreams connected to each other.

Powerful Powerless Chainsaw
Dream of a handheld chainsaw blade which was operating without any power unit, it was just a blade. I recall trying to think how it could be improved.

Then dreamt that I was high up on a building looking down. This moves me into another dream.

The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit (The Grandpa Song)
I am aware of a man in his middle age. He says something to his son who responds by saying he will go get something. There is another man who has been there the whole time in this particular dream. He looks like a homeless man, age looks 60s and bad teeth. When the boy leaves he breaks into a song. It starts off by him thanking the middle aged man for feeding and providing him shelter, at least for have given him something in the their  time together. Then it's all very movie, like a very well choreographed music video. Scene zooms into the middle aged man, the song now mentions how he wanted a grandson and suddenly middle aged man is now elderly. White hair and beard, he opens his eyes suddenly to see the image of his grandson in front of him. The song is brilliant, way too catchy and extraordinary. To me I felt like it could be a super hit. Interestingly the homeless guy looked directly at me as if wanting to tell me this story through a song. At the moment I woke up from the vividness of the vision I felt a little fear because it seemed this character had some kind of access to me. Unfortunately upon waking up I quickly forgot the lyrics and melody.

I wish I could have more of this type of dream, very creative and just amazing. It's not so much the vividness but the content of the dream that is fascinating and I guess it takes a whole lot of awareness to notice it.