Questions and Answers with My Head

My head moves on it's own, my body very floppy lately - it almost feels like something else wearing me but not being able to control movements 100%. I should be alarmed as I know there are a few physical conditions with body moving like this as a symptom except when I ask it questions there's a response from the movements and it's all so very intelligent, they are not like spasms or sudden jolts. Sometimes it's very dance like swaying which I've read is common with Kundalini Awakenings.

Recently I got advice from it. The details I got are very interesting and they are about life, about where I'm headed and where I should go. Whether or not I should do something. When I go out now whenever I can do it without anyone looking at me I ask it before I take a particular direction.

I jotted it all down to see if it does all come true or I'm just insane...

The Ghost on my Drawer

I had some very interesting dreams, vivid and relating to things going on in life. The theme of the dream was about negative vibes and in the dream I had a sister present and I am showing her how to send out positive vibes and making her aware that she is harboring negative vibes.

In one scene I have a bow with some unusual type of arrow and shoot out an arrow telling my sister to think of sending out positive vibes by this act. A lot of other things began to happen, turning almost nightmarish, with the energy and atmosphere changing really fast.

Suddenly it changes so much to the point I see a ghostly form that has a white face with upper black clothing visible. It felt like a sleep paralysis state and I began trying to snap out being slightly uncomfortable with this ghostly form. As I snapped out I kept a close eye on it and watched the white of its face transform into the white bag on a clay bowl on top of my drawer, the dark body form was just the bowl with parts of the drawer. It's interesting to watch these transitions.

Are hallucinations just simply a distortion of everyday objects? I've had an experience like this before with witnessing the figure of an alien and seeing it transition into a part of my table and more and more I feel I am understanding something difficult to express.

Last night as I tried to sleep I placed my right arm over my eyes and randomly just felt the feeling of my arm, the sense and awareness of being and the external noise were like ideas. That the very feeling of my arm in that moment was make believe, completely imaginary. I became so aware of the feelings which I felt with the idea of the body listening carefully to all the registered output of the sensory projections.

Lights Colors and Rising Command

I awakened last night around 2am back to sleep suddenly aware of colored lights flashing, sparks and feeling of something else around me controlling my movements like a puppeteer. Also at the time of it happening  I kept feeling like it was a seizure. There was non verbal communication yet also felt like I could clearly hear the words, telling me to rise. I felt this sense it telling me to be free by rising.  Just before this happened had lots of tingling feelings in arms like pins and needles felt that I might have slept on my arm causing it to feel numb and stopping blood from circulating properly.

It was a really tough night, lots of discomfort.

Meditation Uncontrolled Breathing

Yesterday evening 9pm tried to start with my very simple meditation but ended up listening to meditation audio by hemi sync "Opening the Heart". Had some white noise in background from distiller.

 About 10 minutes after the audio sometime after the breathing exercise I lost control of the breathing and became aware of an uncontrolled breathing. First there was no breathing with a weightless feeling and suddenly this would be followed by long exhales, but no actual breathing in or at least was not aware of any inhalations.

At the time of it happening I felt very aware that either there was something else that was controlling the breathing (meaning someone else occupying body) or the body capable of doing this on its own.

Obviously we breathe naturally whether awake or not and it seems the body just regulates it. In this case where I am meditating the pattern of breathing is very elaborate, there seemed to be some kind of purpose behind this type of breathing. Maybe just releasing toxins.

After this meditation fell asleep and awakened at around 2:30 am, lots of vivid dreaming right now cannot recall.

Meditation Practice

So once again I am going to be fully dedicating myself to practicing meditation, this time I want to go much deeper and I mean at least as deep as I go with Salvia.

Diaphragmatic breathing and allowing thoughts to naturally dissipate. The key is to simply watch the thoughts pass by. I will also be practicing third eye meditation.

In the past third eye meditation I have had extraordinary experiences such as seeing through the eyelids and watching shapes and forms being drawn with closed eyelids.

I'm also going to be simplifying my life to make time for it.