Detachment

Chewed 1 ball of salvia leaves. It's important to chew it slowly and keep it in the mouth for the entire duration whereas before I was taking it out. Lights were off and quiet house. Less distractions. Darkness is also helping so I don't get distracted by movement in surroundings. When I went deep into meditation I had to write down notes on what was taking place. It was difficult, I used my tablet and it was misbehaving. The following is what I wrote unedited:

it's all up to them about health sups and advice all that it's determined by them need to let go of my relationship and connection with others they're not real like I'm pretend person character so are they all part of the play characters not allowed to tell this part to you. We're all in characte m who are we then really that is the question. Keyboard messing up a lot

Hand an shaky unbalanced they don't want me to write this. This is why they can kill me off and I know they've tried. Before. If these words make it I'm still alive otherwise...

Not allowed to wake the others they have to earn all those things written it is testing us.
They cause anxiety the kind where the pen slips out of your hand clumsily. They just stopped me from writing something important. I feel for those who get put in institutions for this.
They one it before me delete my posts.

In that state so difficult to attain. They give orders and commands everything up to them. Don't get emotionally attached to things and even people you have to give them over there in original state these things do not belong to us the people who wrote the sri guru granth sahib were writing about this state. I am in that state.