Resident Evil Snake
I'm in the RE game, I have a handgun and surrounded by a number of snakes. Shoot them but no ammo. Get out shotgun and before me is an expanding, growing snake looks as if it will swallow me whole. I aim and shoot, it's loaded but the snake is indestructible. Not sure what to do - can't recall what happened after this - I think dream telling me to give up the fight.
Face In Pics Discussion
I'm viewing forum discussions - there is a lot of talk about pareidolia - seeing faces in objects, pictures, clouds, trees etc
There are many pictures posted and some kind of importance to this is discussed - it seems to be getting a lot of attention.
Sunday 30 January 2011
Oneness
Went to bed at 8pm last night - tired, sleepy - I can feel urgent signal to get in bed.
Energies play inside - inner trembling - everything resembling K symptoms - also had major rapid heart palpitations.
As I relaxed deeply into sleep my consciousness expanded throughout the field of this material world and beyond. It is indescribable. I expanded - grown to a size where the entire Universe fits me like a glove - I am wearing it - and I found myself in everything. The worries and misery of this life dissolved in this expansion - it was lost in that vast field. Then I re-emerge, contracting shrinking consciousness fitting inside the physical body - my pillow is wet, aware of physical body, been drooling heavily and then again suddenly that same expansion, only a little larger and more vivid and then back to the body where my feet is burning and my body is lit with fever. I managed to fall asleep a few hours after the extreme heat.
Sleep interrupted every 2 hours and had many vivid dreams.
Energies play inside - inner trembling - everything resembling K symptoms - also had major rapid heart palpitations.
As I relaxed deeply into sleep my consciousness expanded throughout the field of this material world and beyond. It is indescribable. I expanded - grown to a size where the entire Universe fits me like a glove - I am wearing it - and I found myself in everything. The worries and misery of this life dissolved in this expansion - it was lost in that vast field. Then I re-emerge, contracting shrinking consciousness fitting inside the physical body - my pillow is wet, aware of physical body, been drooling heavily and then again suddenly that same expansion, only a little larger and more vivid and then back to the body where my feet is burning and my body is lit with fever. I managed to fall asleep a few hours after the extreme heat.
Sleep interrupted every 2 hours and had many vivid dreams.
Saturday 29 January 2011
The Guests and The Thieves
Last night whilst Salvia was soaked I viewed the carpet in bedroom - this time more younger looking forms pasted over - people who look like teenagers and kids with a few adults. Previously it was mostly older faces with beards and mostly men.
The lot of them we're smiling and I was certain that the Salvia experience will be extremely positive. 9:20pm chewed leaves and then expected to project but what occured was something I was completely unprepared for.
Everything alive and awake in the usual sense - the faces in the carpet emerge. There is a row of children - teenagers that become clearer in this state and an older man at one end of this line. They are a family. There's something familiar about them, like I know them from somewhere. They want me to get ready to be taken somewhere - heading west, maybe this orientation because my bed is facing west? Sure I'll go, why not?
I lay down light switched off - awareness of inner perception grown. There I sense with eyes closed a row of women and girls. They are asking me for permission if they could come in. After some thought I figured there would be no harm letting them in.
They all started to slip inside me - like I was a house and inside me is a couch where they were seated. I was a little hesitant to let any more in. The place inside me is overcrowded and I'm worried I don't even know what I just let in. They're fusing with my body and the physical surrounding and I felt there was going to be some kind of entity possesion going on. I tried to stop the rest from coming in but a majority already slipped inside.
Now I see a row of young girls - teenagers maybe. An entire row of them but it's dark. They're observing me and then remove their attention and apply it to some other presence. Once again a presence greater than all of us. The girls start to prostrate before that presence. I realize this is some kind of worship. I feel I need to do the same, but I'm still in bed percieveing two worlds - the world where my bed is and the world where there's a worship going on. It might be rude to remain in bed - I could feel the presence approaching me and get on the floor with knees bent. It's getting closer to my turn where the presence will come to greet me. I feel aprehensive and decide to get back in bed and relax - the presence looks a little startled and all the girls look a little perplexed at my behaviour. Then I say 'I worship no one'. They start to feel or begin to whisper to each other.
Switch on light thinking I will simply come out of that state and it will just end - and it literally does end in the most unexpected way. The side of my window - there's a masculine energy coming through. A young boy and others are wearing my house - the boy wearing the side of window looks at me and tells me he's in charge now. He tells me that everything that I've known - the rest of the house - the other parts of my life - people I know have ended now. And I felt it - everything stopped I couldn't hear my family members in the house and that whining sound was really loud like the world really had ended and I regret having decided to make this trip. So much I'm regretting now - my duvet starts to move and I know it's the entities I gave permision to enter my house without any consideration. My room feels like it is shaking - it's moving because the boy is running away with it.
Instead of an AP I am having the reversal, inverse of an AP - this is an in-the-body experience. I feel the deep fear of ending - how could it just all end? There's a sadness but I know there's not much left to do. Suddenly the boy places his attention on somewhere outside in this other place - not on earth because that has ended the only part that remains is the bedroom, myself these entities and a sense of being elsewhere.
There is someone there, giving orders to the boy to stop - some kind of official. I could tell he is being forced to get out of the house - to literally stop wearing it like a garment. As he is being pulled away looks at me angrily telling me that he's not done with me - wow what a bully!
I could feel it, everything is being put back together, get out of room check downstairs everything and everyone is as it should be. Relieved.
Return to room there I still sense them all. I can hear them humming a lullaby as if to soothe me. Feeling extremely cold get in bed - I can feel movement inside. It's the entities I let in - they are feeling me inside. They feel like balls of energy up my legs. I feel a massaging near buttock area going up in my lower back. It spreads throughout the spine. Instead of going straight to the response of fear I ask K energy to do what it has to do. I think K is making them work, it seems that K's agenda overrides their agenda whatever that may be.
I fell asleep and would wake up 2 hours later which occured several times. They're doing something to the body. An infusion with Kundalini energy?
Each time I know I have to go back to sleep - no need to be awake for what they're doing - it might be intensely painful. Waking up each time I was exhausted feeling some deep tissue pain. This interrupted sleep or whatever it was occured 3 times. When it occured for the last time I was told 'just one more time' - I knew I had to relax, try to fall asleep again and then I did a lot of vivid dreaming.
In one dream I'm in my garden - different looking. I bid a large man farewell and as I turn around I see mosquitos and other flies carrying faeces to some dumping ground - they're cleaning up? Then I stand near the door and witness the sun shining brighter and get the message - get some sunlight.
When the thief comes to rob you - not your valuables or possessions but to literally steal you after having robbed you of everything - I don't think there's anything in this world that can prepare you for it, no scripture and no teacher. Even working through your fears will probably do very little in terms of comfort in such a situation.
The lot of them we're smiling and I was certain that the Salvia experience will be extremely positive. 9:20pm chewed leaves and then expected to project but what occured was something I was completely unprepared for.
Everything alive and awake in the usual sense - the faces in the carpet emerge. There is a row of children - teenagers that become clearer in this state and an older man at one end of this line. They are a family. There's something familiar about them, like I know them from somewhere. They want me to get ready to be taken somewhere - heading west, maybe this orientation because my bed is facing west? Sure I'll go, why not?
I lay down light switched off - awareness of inner perception grown. There I sense with eyes closed a row of women and girls. They are asking me for permission if they could come in. After some thought I figured there would be no harm letting them in.
They all started to slip inside me - like I was a house and inside me is a couch where they were seated. I was a little hesitant to let any more in. The place inside me is overcrowded and I'm worried I don't even know what I just let in. They're fusing with my body and the physical surrounding and I felt there was going to be some kind of entity possesion going on. I tried to stop the rest from coming in but a majority already slipped inside.
Now I see a row of young girls - teenagers maybe. An entire row of them but it's dark. They're observing me and then remove their attention and apply it to some other presence. Once again a presence greater than all of us. The girls start to prostrate before that presence. I realize this is some kind of worship. I feel I need to do the same, but I'm still in bed percieveing two worlds - the world where my bed is and the world where there's a worship going on. It might be rude to remain in bed - I could feel the presence approaching me and get on the floor with knees bent. It's getting closer to my turn where the presence will come to greet me. I feel aprehensive and decide to get back in bed and relax - the presence looks a little startled and all the girls look a little perplexed at my behaviour. Then I say 'I worship no one'. They start to feel or begin to whisper to each other.
Switch on light thinking I will simply come out of that state and it will just end - and it literally does end in the most unexpected way. The side of my window - there's a masculine energy coming through. A young boy and others are wearing my house - the boy wearing the side of window looks at me and tells me he's in charge now. He tells me that everything that I've known - the rest of the house - the other parts of my life - people I know have ended now. And I felt it - everything stopped I couldn't hear my family members in the house and that whining sound was really loud like the world really had ended and I regret having decided to make this trip. So much I'm regretting now - my duvet starts to move and I know it's the entities I gave permision to enter my house without any consideration. My room feels like it is shaking - it's moving because the boy is running away with it.
Instead of an AP I am having the reversal, inverse of an AP - this is an in-the-body experience. I feel the deep fear of ending - how could it just all end? There's a sadness but I know there's not much left to do. Suddenly the boy places his attention on somewhere outside in this other place - not on earth because that has ended the only part that remains is the bedroom, myself these entities and a sense of being elsewhere.
There is someone there, giving orders to the boy to stop - some kind of official. I could tell he is being forced to get out of the house - to literally stop wearing it like a garment. As he is being pulled away looks at me angrily telling me that he's not done with me - wow what a bully!
I could feel it, everything is being put back together, get out of room check downstairs everything and everyone is as it should be. Relieved.
Return to room there I still sense them all. I can hear them humming a lullaby as if to soothe me. Feeling extremely cold get in bed - I can feel movement inside. It's the entities I let in - they are feeling me inside. They feel like balls of energy up my legs. I feel a massaging near buttock area going up in my lower back. It spreads throughout the spine. Instead of going straight to the response of fear I ask K energy to do what it has to do. I think K is making them work, it seems that K's agenda overrides their agenda whatever that may be.
I fell asleep and would wake up 2 hours later which occured several times. They're doing something to the body. An infusion with Kundalini energy?
Each time I know I have to go back to sleep - no need to be awake for what they're doing - it might be intensely painful. Waking up each time I was exhausted feeling some deep tissue pain. This interrupted sleep or whatever it was occured 3 times. When it occured for the last time I was told 'just one more time' - I knew I had to relax, try to fall asleep again and then I did a lot of vivid dreaming.
In one dream I'm in my garden - different looking. I bid a large man farewell and as I turn around I see mosquitos and other flies carrying faeces to some dumping ground - they're cleaning up? Then I stand near the door and witness the sun shining brighter and get the message - get some sunlight.
When the thief comes to rob you - not your valuables or possessions but to literally steal you after having robbed you of everything - I don't think there's anything in this world that can prepare you for it, no scripture and no teacher. Even working through your fears will probably do very little in terms of comfort in such a situation.
Friday 28 January 2011
Whining Sound
I hear this whining whizzing sound coming from the sky. The birds are louder - quality of sound has become crisp. The whining sound is like an end of the world kind of alarming sound - not loud enough that it is disrupting.
It has occured since latest Salvia experiences.
It has occured since latest Salvia experiences.
Parental Attention
There was enough Salvia leaves for 2 quids, but knowing and understanding the association I have with it I simply seperated it into 3 parts - because 3 convinces me that it's working to a greater degree.
Eyes closed this time carried like on a conveyor belt and then parked in some kind of factory - I'm getting this all through eyes closed perception. There were little beings - they're moving so rapidly working on me piecing me together - changing parts etc getting me prepared for something.
Then with eyes opened the room stretched - it was wider. Room expanding rather than contracting in previous experience. The others are being summoned. Once again we're going somewhere. The one summoning, a parent? or driver of this ride? The others start to point at me - I am thinking of what it is I want to do - that same dream - paradise on earth - but it's a ride.
Start to investigate this desire. I don't want to be here, life to be like this - I have a vision like many others. Then I am struck at the depth of this thought - I'm okay where I am - it's not so bad - I don't dislike my environment I just hate the terrible relationships I have and that is what I am trying to escape. And I realize for the first time - my desire for paradise is simply the desire to escape. I want to escape - to run away from here. I ask for healing to those around me for my own selfish purpose - if they're better than it is better for me.
The room is slowly being put back together as if to suggest that I got from this experience what I needed. When the room starts to shrink back to the usual size I tried once again to put in another input. I tell them to stop at some point where the room is still larger than it really is or was in PR. I suggest to them that my room was actually that big before I took Salvia and should they shrink it any further it would go against what is stored in the memory bank that forms the room. Once again there's no fooling this system. I think it's the brain that needs fooling and not the essence that shapes the form.
I also start to remind them that I recall being a little taller - and start to get concerned about the possibility of shrinking.
I take this moment to send my thanks to Anastasia who shared her wisdom in the Ringing Cedars Books and really sparked my desire to create a paradise here on earth. Though I realized that one can be inspired to do something and use it as a form of escape from something else, one can also be completely inspired.
Eyes closed this time carried like on a conveyor belt and then parked in some kind of factory - I'm getting this all through eyes closed perception. There were little beings - they're moving so rapidly working on me piecing me together - changing parts etc getting me prepared for something.
Then with eyes opened the room stretched - it was wider. Room expanding rather than contracting in previous experience. The others are being summoned. Once again we're going somewhere. The one summoning, a parent? or driver of this ride? The others start to point at me - I am thinking of what it is I want to do - that same dream - paradise on earth - but it's a ride.
Start to investigate this desire. I don't want to be here, life to be like this - I have a vision like many others. Then I am struck at the depth of this thought - I'm okay where I am - it's not so bad - I don't dislike my environment I just hate the terrible relationships I have and that is what I am trying to escape. And I realize for the first time - my desire for paradise is simply the desire to escape. I want to escape - to run away from here. I ask for healing to those around me for my own selfish purpose - if they're better than it is better for me.
The room is slowly being put back together as if to suggest that I got from this experience what I needed. When the room starts to shrink back to the usual size I tried once again to put in another input. I tell them to stop at some point where the room is still larger than it really is or was in PR. I suggest to them that my room was actually that big before I took Salvia and should they shrink it any further it would go against what is stored in the memory bank that forms the room. Once again there's no fooling this system. I think it's the brain that needs fooling and not the essence that shapes the form.
I also start to remind them that I recall being a little taller - and start to get concerned about the possibility of shrinking.
I take this moment to send my thanks to Anastasia who shared her wisdom in the Ringing Cedars Books and really sparked my desire to create a paradise here on earth. Though I realized that one can be inspired to do something and use it as a form of escape from something else, one can also be completely inspired.
The Funfair Ride
Morning at 8:20 am. On second Salvia quid there was an immediate shift but felt like 3 would convince me of its effects - something to do with beliefs I hold and comfort zone. I know I don't need to take Salvia for these experiences but I have made an association with it that will take some time wearing off.
I lay down waiting to AP.
The beings that put together material reality or maybe they are just wearing it - move and reveal themselves - these are like actual people.
There is this other perception, I feel I am being carried somewhere and being rearranged, wherever I'm going this needs to be done, need to stay silent, no thoughts.
At some point look at carpet - the room is squeezing and collapsing on itself. It's like two parts of room compressing into each other.
I start to feel like I'm on a train - no, more like a rollercoaster ride. In the front of the carriage there I sense two others seated looking at me trying to gain consciousness. I am being told we're on a ride. I think I am feeling it more than being told this. I remember only it's hazy, I want to remember the exact moment I got on - it feels so familiar. Now I know - others who come in (to PR) are in a queue waiting to get on this ride.
There's a tall pipe going up in PR on top of neighbours roof I can see out of window there's a shape at tip that always looked like an eye to me. It started to move - a being housed in it with its eye now moving. It was looking around scanning the outside like a watchman.
They're telling me not to worry - we'll be getting off soon - when? 2012 - I want the exact Earth time. I feel dissatisfied of the life I created - it's inadequate. I get this feeling to want to do something in order to impress them. Is this just my ego overriding? My story has to be better than what it is, it has to be amazing and spectacular - but it doesn't matter it's just a ride and we'll be off soon (there's this we presence here). They tell me there's no need to impress them - it's just a game. Fine, I tell them to at least give me some super powers to make life a little more interesting and easier.
The beings are re-melting - entities of surrounding atmosphere forming back into bedroom surrounding - I can see people jittering, they're faces melting into the wall - in our ordinary (which is not really ordinary - it's dull ) state of mind it would look painful. As they reform one part of wall outside I can feel my brain is being used - whatever is stored in there is shaping the building. It uses my memory of what I'm used to to remake the building. I try a little trick - in my mind I play with the idea that one pipe on the building has the shape of an elephants trunk and that it was pink - but there's no fooling this reality - old memories are firm and fixed. There are times when I have been away from home for months at a time and when I'd return things always felt a little different like mind/brain needed to once again acclimate to surrounding.
Suddenly I just understand things I never understood until that point and I saw my life story and how it was leading to this moment, everything I went through to get to this point.
Still one last question that I must ask. If we are not the people we think we are, then who are we really. Who am I? It seems most questions are answered except for this one.
These are all the questions I wrote down wanting answers to:
Who am I?
Why am I here on this ride?
When in Earth time will we be leaving?
What will happen in the time that we leave?
Later at 10am decided to finish remaining Salvia leaves in bowl to get some answers.
I lay down waiting to AP.
The beings that put together material reality or maybe they are just wearing it - move and reveal themselves - these are like actual people.
There is this other perception, I feel I am being carried somewhere and being rearranged, wherever I'm going this needs to be done, need to stay silent, no thoughts.
At some point look at carpet - the room is squeezing and collapsing on itself. It's like two parts of room compressing into each other.
I start to feel like I'm on a train - no, more like a rollercoaster ride. In the front of the carriage there I sense two others seated looking at me trying to gain consciousness. I am being told we're on a ride. I think I am feeling it more than being told this. I remember only it's hazy, I want to remember the exact moment I got on - it feels so familiar. Now I know - others who come in (to PR) are in a queue waiting to get on this ride.
There's a tall pipe going up in PR on top of neighbours roof I can see out of window there's a shape at tip that always looked like an eye to me. It started to move - a being housed in it with its eye now moving. It was looking around scanning the outside like a watchman.
They're telling me not to worry - we'll be getting off soon - when? 2012 - I want the exact Earth time. I feel dissatisfied of the life I created - it's inadequate. I get this feeling to want to do something in order to impress them. Is this just my ego overriding? My story has to be better than what it is, it has to be amazing and spectacular - but it doesn't matter it's just a ride and we'll be off soon (there's this we presence here). They tell me there's no need to impress them - it's just a game. Fine, I tell them to at least give me some super powers to make life a little more interesting and easier.
The beings are re-melting - entities of surrounding atmosphere forming back into bedroom surrounding - I can see people jittering, they're faces melting into the wall - in our ordinary (which is not really ordinary - it's dull ) state of mind it would look painful. As they reform one part of wall outside I can feel my brain is being used - whatever is stored in there is shaping the building. It uses my memory of what I'm used to to remake the building. I try a little trick - in my mind I play with the idea that one pipe on the building has the shape of an elephants trunk and that it was pink - but there's no fooling this reality - old memories are firm and fixed. There are times when I have been away from home for months at a time and when I'd return things always felt a little different like mind/brain needed to once again acclimate to surrounding.
Suddenly I just understand things I never understood until that point and I saw my life story and how it was leading to this moment, everything I went through to get to this point.
Still one last question that I must ask. If we are not the people we think we are, then who are we really. Who am I? It seems most questions are answered except for this one.
These are all the questions I wrote down wanting answers to:
Who am I?
Why am I here on this ride?
When in Earth time will we be leaving?
What will happen in the time that we leave?
Later at 10am decided to finish remaining Salvia leaves in bowl to get some answers.
Dreams of Things to Come?
These dreams have reference to my life and felt so prophetic like warning signs. In one dream my cousin's husband who in reality has a very substantially large income bracket is suddenly made redundant - she is depressed and tells me how suddenly it feels like all hell has broken loose.
In another dream - there is a woman on the floor she is paralysed possibly having a heart attack I seek help and then the feeling that one of my brother is going to pass away soon washes over me and hear my eldest sister's cries.
Then there are other snippets of dreams about my favourite tv show 'Medium' where the characters are acting out various scenes - in the dream Joe Dubois starts to have visions and precognitive dreams about his family members.
Waking up I felt the dreams giving me a message of future points and I feel completely indifferent about it - especially after what has been revealed in my recent adventure with Salvia.
In another dream - there is a woman on the floor she is paralysed possibly having a heart attack I seek help and then the feeling that one of my brother is going to pass away soon washes over me and hear my eldest sister's cries.
Then there are other snippets of dreams about my favourite tv show 'Medium' where the characters are acting out various scenes - in the dream Joe Dubois starts to have visions and precognitive dreams about his family members.
Waking up I felt the dreams giving me a message of future points and I feel completely indifferent about it - especially after what has been revealed in my recent adventure with Salvia.
Thursday 27 January 2011
Against Rules
Yesterday evening at about 9 I was on the second quid and already feeling major shift, so natural feeling I couldn't tell it had even occured.
There's a face of a young boy on carpet - I hear - feel his thought. He's ready waiting to move - through this I am certain there is no real power in psychedelics and these herbs we've deemed to have certain mind altering qualities. It is simply association with what we believe in the mind and because we believe it the effects are programmed within psychedelics and herbs. Or it could be something that was initially programmed for a purpose - no doubt all around us there are herbs and plants that have a certain function - we know many herbs are healing but how so? maybe because these plants are assigned a set purpose.
Designed as a permission slip - I feel by the chewing process I am giving permission for a lifting of the veil.
They started moving faster - in this state the brain is operating quicker - everything feels to be on speed.
I look at remaining leaves and now the idea of chewing more to increase depthness of this experience seems ridiculous. I put it to one side - the beings of the surrounding atmosphere look like they're proud of my brave move.
Again like before they want me to go somewhere - I remember once feeling like I was on some horse carriage in another experience - this time I'm not so compliant. I want to know who they are. I continue to observe.
I think at some point I should've memorized the faces I saw on carpet originally before Salvia to later observe any noticeable changes. They transmit to me that if that were so then even when I return to the ordinary waking state I would simply think maybe I had missed the changed faces and they were there the whole time. In another words they're telling me there's no point in over analyzing.
They look as though they live under the carpet but it is really they're forms coming through matter.
Where do they want to take me? I wish they could be clear on this. I get an answer and they're telling me that I need to die. Why? I protest. Can't I go there while alive? I realize suddenly that they want me to astral project - project out of the physical body. Now that makes more sense. I ask them if it is just like astral projection and I hear a loud resounding telepathic 'YES!'
I get ready, lay back down, lights off, eyes closed. I feel like I'm being folded.
Ready. Then there's silence - somethings wrong. I can feel it. Everyone is looking about trying to understand the situation. Maybe I'm just tense - can't relax - there is some resistance on my part. I tell them maybe I should chew the remaining Salvia - they're confused with my idea knowing I have already learnt my lesson about association with herbs and the fact that I'm already under the effects of this association with Salvia.
They decide to play along and start acting as though they are being put back into original starting frozen position - I know they're acting but regardless pick up bowl and chew away on remaining Salvia. Eyes closed light off once again ready to go on this trip. We're each me and other beings on some kind of carriage - ready to go. I'm thinking something and thought process has changed -the thoughts come out garbled - this is alarming.
Then I feel it - a larger being - a presence bigger than us - asking if we're ready. We're all like children cheering saying yes with great excitement, although I seem to be the odd one out because I don't even know what I am saying yes to. Suddenly there is a pause - the great presence that seems to be in charge has noticed something. The others are quiet now - I think they don't want to be caught out as whatever they have done was not allowed.
I started to feel some kind of warmth, some feeling coming close to me. I was warming and wrapped in this beautiful presence - I felt more ready than ever to leave with this presence. Suddenly a thought entered my mind about my mum in physical reality - and I was relieved that I was leaving behind that horrible relationship that with age seemed to be turning sour. Then something totally unexpected happens - the warmth folds me and tells me maybe you need to go back - something to do with this relationship. I am frantic and I beg for that presence to give me another order - "send me back for any other reason - I don't mind returning just please don't tell me to go back for that relationship". The others are trying to soothe me and agree with the presence that I should go back. I know I don't have a very good relationship with my mum but I never knew it was that bad.
I switch the lamp on - they're still in the room but being quiet. That presence - overwhelming me is still in the room - watching me to see if I give a slight hint that I'm still aware of it. I can feel the other entities trying to convince the presence that I've returned completely without awareness of them. When I hear this I start pretending I can't hear, see or feel them. I am putting on an act. I think I have to quickly do something earthly. Grab the bowl and think about cleaning it all the while the presence coming closer right next to me. I think it knows I am aware of it, it keeps trying to challenge me with this overwhelming feeling.
I stop and stand in middle of the room, I give up the act and talk to the entities telling them that I'm gonna start making some changes. I think about some of my hearts desires and I tell them about my dream of a paradise here on Earth and that they're invited.
When I start to walk about my movement is very awkward - it's like I'm in a movie being fast forwarded.
Recieved many insights that I'm a little hesitant to share at this time.
I wonder what was that presence - my general feeling of it is that it had this paternal essence - there was also something very dangerous about it.
There's a face of a young boy on carpet - I hear - feel his thought. He's ready waiting to move - through this I am certain there is no real power in psychedelics and these herbs we've deemed to have certain mind altering qualities. It is simply association with what we believe in the mind and because we believe it the effects are programmed within psychedelics and herbs. Or it could be something that was initially programmed for a purpose - no doubt all around us there are herbs and plants that have a certain function - we know many herbs are healing but how so? maybe because these plants are assigned a set purpose.
Designed as a permission slip - I feel by the chewing process I am giving permission for a lifting of the veil.
They started moving faster - in this state the brain is operating quicker - everything feels to be on speed.
I look at remaining leaves and now the idea of chewing more to increase depthness of this experience seems ridiculous. I put it to one side - the beings of the surrounding atmosphere look like they're proud of my brave move.
Again like before they want me to go somewhere - I remember once feeling like I was on some horse carriage in another experience - this time I'm not so compliant. I want to know who they are. I continue to observe.
I think at some point I should've memorized the faces I saw on carpet originally before Salvia to later observe any noticeable changes. They transmit to me that if that were so then even when I return to the ordinary waking state I would simply think maybe I had missed the changed faces and they were there the whole time. In another words they're telling me there's no point in over analyzing.
They look as though they live under the carpet but it is really they're forms coming through matter.
Where do they want to take me? I wish they could be clear on this. I get an answer and they're telling me that I need to die. Why? I protest. Can't I go there while alive? I realize suddenly that they want me to astral project - project out of the physical body. Now that makes more sense. I ask them if it is just like astral projection and I hear a loud resounding telepathic 'YES!'
I get ready, lay back down, lights off, eyes closed. I feel like I'm being folded.
Ready. Then there's silence - somethings wrong. I can feel it. Everyone is looking about trying to understand the situation. Maybe I'm just tense - can't relax - there is some resistance on my part. I tell them maybe I should chew the remaining Salvia - they're confused with my idea knowing I have already learnt my lesson about association with herbs and the fact that I'm already under the effects of this association with Salvia.
They decide to play along and start acting as though they are being put back into original starting frozen position - I know they're acting but regardless pick up bowl and chew away on remaining Salvia. Eyes closed light off once again ready to go on this trip. We're each me and other beings on some kind of carriage - ready to go. I'm thinking something and thought process has changed -the thoughts come out garbled - this is alarming.
Then I feel it - a larger being - a presence bigger than us - asking if we're ready. We're all like children cheering saying yes with great excitement, although I seem to be the odd one out because I don't even know what I am saying yes to. Suddenly there is a pause - the great presence that seems to be in charge has noticed something. The others are quiet now - I think they don't want to be caught out as whatever they have done was not allowed.
I started to feel some kind of warmth, some feeling coming close to me. I was warming and wrapped in this beautiful presence - I felt more ready than ever to leave with this presence. Suddenly a thought entered my mind about my mum in physical reality - and I was relieved that I was leaving behind that horrible relationship that with age seemed to be turning sour. Then something totally unexpected happens - the warmth folds me and tells me maybe you need to go back - something to do with this relationship. I am frantic and I beg for that presence to give me another order - "send me back for any other reason - I don't mind returning just please don't tell me to go back for that relationship". The others are trying to soothe me and agree with the presence that I should go back. I know I don't have a very good relationship with my mum but I never knew it was that bad.
I switch the lamp on - they're still in the room but being quiet. That presence - overwhelming me is still in the room - watching me to see if I give a slight hint that I'm still aware of it. I can feel the other entities trying to convince the presence that I've returned completely without awareness of them. When I hear this I start pretending I can't hear, see or feel them. I am putting on an act. I think I have to quickly do something earthly. Grab the bowl and think about cleaning it all the while the presence coming closer right next to me. I think it knows I am aware of it, it keeps trying to challenge me with this overwhelming feeling.
I stop and stand in middle of the room, I give up the act and talk to the entities telling them that I'm gonna start making some changes. I think about some of my hearts desires and I tell them about my dream of a paradise here on Earth and that they're invited.
When I start to walk about my movement is very awkward - it's like I'm in a movie being fast forwarded.
Recieved many insights that I'm a little hesitant to share at this time.
I wonder what was that presence - my general feeling of it is that it had this paternal essence - there was also something very dangerous about it.
Wednesday 26 January 2011
Hair Raising Energy and Carpet Entities
Last night before sleep relaxed with immediate energy sensation pulling upwards from sole of feet. This energy seemed to remain mostly in the legs, it became so intense the energy made the hairs on my leg raise. Some kind of fusion where the energy wants to bleed through excess hair. It seemed to be all about the legs.
In the middle of sleep I was awoken - cannot really be sure if I was dreaming it - but the entities from the carpet moulded through their forms - I could see them without getting out of bed or lifting my head - another way of seeing? I think they want my attention on something, I feel they're trying to tell me how I can see them in motion instead of frozen but it requires something. I remember yesterday I made a statement asking how I could constantly see the changing motions of the energies that put this reality together.
I have been feeling so sleepy lately, don't know if it's simply physical exhaustion - haven't really been doing anything strenuous. Maybe a lack of nutrition, not sure but now I kind of miss the insomnia and that extra energy I had. I've read that these fluctuations of energy levels are common with Kundalini so it is more than likely to be related to the new changes.
In the middle of sleep I was awoken - cannot really be sure if I was dreaming it - but the entities from the carpet moulded through their forms - I could see them without getting out of bed or lifting my head - another way of seeing? I think they want my attention on something, I feel they're trying to tell me how I can see them in motion instead of frozen but it requires something. I remember yesterday I made a statement asking how I could constantly see the changing motions of the energies that put this reality together.
I have been feeling so sleepy lately, don't know if it's simply physical exhaustion - haven't really been doing anything strenuous. Maybe a lack of nutrition, not sure but now I kind of miss the insomnia and that extra energy I had. I've read that these fluctuations of energy levels are common with Kundalini so it is more than likely to be related to the new changes.
Tuesday 25 January 2011
More Fear Dreams
This was one long fear dream with different flowing scenes.
1st Scene - Tentacle Strikes
I'm in some tin made hut - there are two creatures in the same room - part human but part of face looking like some very scary creature. Suddenly a tentacle breaks through the roof grabs one creature - then another breaks through door and grabs the other only this one has a mouth and chomps down creature - swallowing whole. Reminds me of Resident Evil game. I wonder if it's coming for me and have a thought - that the tentacle is some kind of immune system fighting off the bad bacteria of wherever I was. Maybe I'm the good bacteria? at least I hoped so.
2nd Scene - Without Consent
Walk into another room - the beds are all taken over and I have only a small space left on the floor to sleep on next to a man who appears to be in a deep sleep. I get under the covers when another man who looks a bit like the other creatures tries to grab me. I kick him and scream. Wake up man next to me so that he can tell the beast that I'm sleeping here - he wards off the creature. Try to get some sleep but the man next to me has become extremely touchy. I elbow him in his chest and kick him but he pays no heed so one last time I elbow him and move away. Irritated I walk down the stairs.
3rd Scene - The Spirit Friends
I've headed for the kitchen - this is supposed to be my home but it is completely different. On the kitchen window I see a spirit becoming more visible. Some big looking child - it is an image of a child but enlarged version. I walk to it and begin to speak. My mum is calling me - I panic hoping the spirit would leave as I'm afraid she'll see me with this spirit and interpret it to mean that I am in commune with Satan or possessed (my mum is highly religious). I hear a scream coming from the other room.
4th Scene - Dance with the Snake
I walk in to the living room - there I find my youngest sister frightened half to death staring at a very long black snake. I walk to the snake and tell her not to be afraid that the snake is my friend. The snake is curled up in the corner and looks more afraid of her. Out of the blue I say 'watch this' and start to dance. I hop on the left foot and then with the right leg raised I twirl my right feet singing the chorus from salam-e-ishq song and just dancing freely. Immediately the snake is under my right leg twirling - with this leg I twirl in all kinds of ways and the snake each time copies my move. At some point I recall the snake's head is either missing or invisible. After my dance ends the snake moves towards my sister seated on the sofa who still appears to be in shock. I tell her it's okay - this snake won't bite and tell her to just play with it. She makes an excuse that she's busy with something which I could tell by the tone of her voice that's a blatant lie masked with tremendous fear.
Light Body
Woke up from the fourth scene then back to sleep - presence of entities is getting stronger. I find myself in a completely unfamiliar state not sure if I'm awake or sleeping. I sense my arms are raised and to the left, the window part a being has emerged - basically it is not a window - the window is a mask underneath that mask is some kind of being or entity (not sure about the difference). Look at my left arm it's glowing - not physical or solid - formed by light. Look at right arm - it's the physical arm but there's another layer, another arm trying to separate, this other arm is also made of light but hasn't fully been removed from the physical. With effort I try to get out with the possibility of projecting - it was requiring major force or maybe I was just trying too hard. Could not get full control and the episode ended.
Have been feeling really sleepy lately - insomnia is no longer a problem. I can go to bed without having to wait for hours to fall asleep now only even when I'm sleeping I'm not really sleeping. There still is some activity and it is very likely that is making me feel exhausted in morning - unable to get out of bed, and needing more sleep.
1st Scene - Tentacle Strikes
I'm in some tin made hut - there are two creatures in the same room - part human but part of face looking like some very scary creature. Suddenly a tentacle breaks through the roof grabs one creature - then another breaks through door and grabs the other only this one has a mouth and chomps down creature - swallowing whole. Reminds me of Resident Evil game. I wonder if it's coming for me and have a thought - that the tentacle is some kind of immune system fighting off the bad bacteria of wherever I was. Maybe I'm the good bacteria? at least I hoped so.
2nd Scene - Without Consent
Walk into another room - the beds are all taken over and I have only a small space left on the floor to sleep on next to a man who appears to be in a deep sleep. I get under the covers when another man who looks a bit like the other creatures tries to grab me. I kick him and scream. Wake up man next to me so that he can tell the beast that I'm sleeping here - he wards off the creature. Try to get some sleep but the man next to me has become extremely touchy. I elbow him in his chest and kick him but he pays no heed so one last time I elbow him and move away. Irritated I walk down the stairs.
3rd Scene - The Spirit Friends
I've headed for the kitchen - this is supposed to be my home but it is completely different. On the kitchen window I see a spirit becoming more visible. Some big looking child - it is an image of a child but enlarged version. I walk to it and begin to speak. My mum is calling me - I panic hoping the spirit would leave as I'm afraid she'll see me with this spirit and interpret it to mean that I am in commune with Satan or possessed (my mum is highly religious). I hear a scream coming from the other room.
4th Scene - Dance with the Snake
I walk in to the living room - there I find my youngest sister frightened half to death staring at a very long black snake. I walk to the snake and tell her not to be afraid that the snake is my friend. The snake is curled up in the corner and looks more afraid of her. Out of the blue I say 'watch this' and start to dance. I hop on the left foot and then with the right leg raised I twirl my right feet singing the chorus from salam-e-ishq song and just dancing freely. Immediately the snake is under my right leg twirling - with this leg I twirl in all kinds of ways and the snake each time copies my move. At some point I recall the snake's head is either missing or invisible. After my dance ends the snake moves towards my sister seated on the sofa who still appears to be in shock. I tell her it's okay - this snake won't bite and tell her to just play with it. She makes an excuse that she's busy with something which I could tell by the tone of her voice that's a blatant lie masked with tremendous fear.
Light Body
Woke up from the fourth scene then back to sleep - presence of entities is getting stronger. I find myself in a completely unfamiliar state not sure if I'm awake or sleeping. I sense my arms are raised and to the left, the window part a being has emerged - basically it is not a window - the window is a mask underneath that mask is some kind of being or entity (not sure about the difference). Look at my left arm it's glowing - not physical or solid - formed by light. Look at right arm - it's the physical arm but there's another layer, another arm trying to separate, this other arm is also made of light but hasn't fully been removed from the physical. With effort I try to get out with the possibility of projecting - it was requiring major force or maybe I was just trying too hard. Could not get full control and the episode ended.
Have been feeling really sleepy lately - insomnia is no longer a problem. I can go to bed without having to wait for hours to fall asleep now only even when I'm sleeping I'm not really sleeping. There still is some activity and it is very likely that is making me feel exhausted in morning - unable to get out of bed, and needing more sleep.
Monday 24 January 2011
The Power of Salvia
Yesterday evening I was watching the wall and viewed more faces than before in one spot. None moving - I still wonder why they don't move - I have given permission but I feel it has more to do with something else.
I know this does not occur just by taking Salvia - after all there are people who are labelled as schizophrenic who have not taking any kind of mind altering herbs.
Salvia is an aid - the real power isn't so much in the plant but in the human. How much reality reveals is dependent on how open the human channel is - that is why there are soft heads and hard heads. I don't feel that a person needs to smoke a strengthened version of Salvia for its effects to take place - it would be more appropriate to have the unaltered herb in its natural form - let it work gradually, reveal what it has to reveal slowly. This progression has a balancing power - whereas if you smoke a strengthened version it is like running without first warming up - you end up putting a lot of strain on the human system - plus you're likely to miss out on many details, many which are so cool. I guess what I am trying to say is that a slower process allows the mind to digest more efficiently.
One thing that I know for sure is why these parts of the brain that allow this other perception of seeing the world in a magical way is inactive is simply because we have blocked ourselves from it through the use of fear. These parts of the brain can naturally begin to function without the use of Salvia or any other mind altering herbs but it means working on the many layers of fears, sometimes they are the unconscious fears and even take some effort to figure out, sometimes they are more obvious and fears we all have. So simply put fear is the major blocker.
For myself I feel I have been drawn to salvia because of the levels of fears that I hold - most have been worked through but there's so much more. For eg. I have this major fear of seeing entities and ghosts suddenly appearing out of thin air. I recall when I first developed an interest in metaphysics I was intrigued by ghosts though I was highly sceptic there was something wonderful about the possibility of their existence - plus my eldest sister shared her ghost story which wanted me to investigate further. So a long time ago as a teenager I made a ouija board and tried to invoke spirits. In the middle of the process I thought what if a ghost makes itself known - I imagined what that would be like and in the scene I was more afraid of ghosts than I was of anything. So scared I ended the session never to attempt ever again.
Astral projection was easier and even there I had been thrust in some unconscious fears.
Now through the use of Salvia knowing without a doubt that this entire reality is weaved with an infinite number of entities - I don't think I would ever be afraid of seeing ghosts / spirits ever again. Had this experience occured during my teenage years I think I would have been admitted to a psychiatric unit labelled as a schizophrenic I imagine I would've lost my mind.
With the Salvia there is an acceptance of something unknown, out of the ordinary to take place and fear itself is diminished through this acceptance. So I can see the entities now, but why don't they move in the same manner as when I was under Salvia effects. I think it is mostly because in that state I couldn't be normal in the way normal is percieved in society - they would be moving about - I would be walking all over them - maybe even walking a bit funny - maybe sometimes accidently talking to them while others watching me going mad - I mean my change in behaviour in that state would be drastic.
It's probably safer for everything to take place slowly, one other sense I still feel is that I am suppose to harmonize with my environment before I could see them in movement. It could also be that their movement is dependent also on the consciousness of others around me meaning when I'm alone there will be movement but around others who have still yet to wake up they are limited - that does not explain how some people see these entities with other people who do not see them.
For the time being I am inspired to start drawing again, will start using these faces as reference - haven't done this in ages will need to brush up on this skill.
I know this does not occur just by taking Salvia - after all there are people who are labelled as schizophrenic who have not taking any kind of mind altering herbs.
Salvia is an aid - the real power isn't so much in the plant but in the human. How much reality reveals is dependent on how open the human channel is - that is why there are soft heads and hard heads. I don't feel that a person needs to smoke a strengthened version of Salvia for its effects to take place - it would be more appropriate to have the unaltered herb in its natural form - let it work gradually, reveal what it has to reveal slowly. This progression has a balancing power - whereas if you smoke a strengthened version it is like running without first warming up - you end up putting a lot of strain on the human system - plus you're likely to miss out on many details, many which are so cool. I guess what I am trying to say is that a slower process allows the mind to digest more efficiently.
One thing that I know for sure is why these parts of the brain that allow this other perception of seeing the world in a magical way is inactive is simply because we have blocked ourselves from it through the use of fear. These parts of the brain can naturally begin to function without the use of Salvia or any other mind altering herbs but it means working on the many layers of fears, sometimes they are the unconscious fears and even take some effort to figure out, sometimes they are more obvious and fears we all have. So simply put fear is the major blocker.
For myself I feel I have been drawn to salvia because of the levels of fears that I hold - most have been worked through but there's so much more. For eg. I have this major fear of seeing entities and ghosts suddenly appearing out of thin air. I recall when I first developed an interest in metaphysics I was intrigued by ghosts though I was highly sceptic there was something wonderful about the possibility of their existence - plus my eldest sister shared her ghost story which wanted me to investigate further. So a long time ago as a teenager I made a ouija board and tried to invoke spirits. In the middle of the process I thought what if a ghost makes itself known - I imagined what that would be like and in the scene I was more afraid of ghosts than I was of anything. So scared I ended the session never to attempt ever again.
Astral projection was easier and even there I had been thrust in some unconscious fears.
Now through the use of Salvia knowing without a doubt that this entire reality is weaved with an infinite number of entities - I don't think I would ever be afraid of seeing ghosts / spirits ever again. Had this experience occured during my teenage years I think I would have been admitted to a psychiatric unit labelled as a schizophrenic I imagine I would've lost my mind.
With the Salvia there is an acceptance of something unknown, out of the ordinary to take place and fear itself is diminished through this acceptance. So I can see the entities now, but why don't they move in the same manner as when I was under Salvia effects. I think it is mostly because in that state I couldn't be normal in the way normal is percieved in society - they would be moving about - I would be walking all over them - maybe even walking a bit funny - maybe sometimes accidently talking to them while others watching me going mad - I mean my change in behaviour in that state would be drastic.
It's probably safer for everything to take place slowly, one other sense I still feel is that I am suppose to harmonize with my environment before I could see them in movement. It could also be that their movement is dependent also on the consciousness of others around me meaning when I'm alone there will be movement but around others who have still yet to wake up they are limited - that does not explain how some people see these entities with other people who do not see them.
For the time being I am inspired to start drawing again, will start using these faces as reference - haven't done this in ages will need to brush up on this skill.
Fear Test
Last night before I fell asleep I asked realizing that maybe I hold some fears, and in the long run my awakening can be aided by the harmonizing of these fears I asked that my sleep process works on this.
I thought about some fears that I might still hold - and one of them I admitted more to myself than to the beings around me is the fear of loss. I chose the fear of financial loss - this is one fear I'm comfortable to work on at this point until I can identify the other fears.
The dream starts off with me in a street - I'm in a telephone booth sorting out cash in a plastic pouch - there's a lot, maybe over £1K. Someone is staring at me - he's across the street looking out from the window of a store. I read his body language - he is discussing with his friend the intention to mug me. I walk out fast increasing my pace until I am running as fast as I can. They're chasing me now. Intentions have changed - it seems another agenda they hold is rape at which point I'm sprinting for dear life.
Somehow I've gotten into a car - parked outside the house. Relieved I get in the house only moments later watching outside the window I see parking attendants (ugh! I hate parking attendants). There's two of them which makes the scene even more ugly. The parking attendants have spotted the loot - no doubt it looks much better than what they could fine me for. The worst part is I've left my purse and money bag of £1k right on the seat - and even worse is that I forgot to lock the door. I panic more coz the cash isn't even mine - my brother gave it to hold on for a while. I fear he's gonna lose his mind - this will depress the crap out of him. I can't simply stand here watching doing nothing with all these frantic scenes in my mind. Jump out window land on feet - suddenly I've become wonder woman and run after the parking attendants - I snatch the cash and purse, but still I'm not done. I need to kick some ass.
I've always known I had this major girl power in me - it was fun. I woke up relieved it was just a dream but knew that I also miserably failed the test.
The only thing this dream revealed to me was my attachment over the fear of loss. The fight symbolizes attachment - resistance to change. It revealed how I still hold on to the sense of security that money provides - and that this same security is held on to tightly by many others. In order to pass I had to let go what I was losing - the sense of security.
I have no idea what the 'rape' intention coming from the DC meant nor how it fits in with this test. Maybe revealing another fear.
I thought about some fears that I might still hold - and one of them I admitted more to myself than to the beings around me is the fear of loss. I chose the fear of financial loss - this is one fear I'm comfortable to work on at this point until I can identify the other fears.
The dream starts off with me in a street - I'm in a telephone booth sorting out cash in a plastic pouch - there's a lot, maybe over £1K. Someone is staring at me - he's across the street looking out from the window of a store. I read his body language - he is discussing with his friend the intention to mug me. I walk out fast increasing my pace until I am running as fast as I can. They're chasing me now. Intentions have changed - it seems another agenda they hold is rape at which point I'm sprinting for dear life.
Somehow I've gotten into a car - parked outside the house. Relieved I get in the house only moments later watching outside the window I see parking attendants (ugh! I hate parking attendants). There's two of them which makes the scene even more ugly. The parking attendants have spotted the loot - no doubt it looks much better than what they could fine me for. The worst part is I've left my purse and money bag of £1k right on the seat - and even worse is that I forgot to lock the door. I panic more coz the cash isn't even mine - my brother gave it to hold on for a while. I fear he's gonna lose his mind - this will depress the crap out of him. I can't simply stand here watching doing nothing with all these frantic scenes in my mind. Jump out window land on feet - suddenly I've become wonder woman and run after the parking attendants - I snatch the cash and purse, but still I'm not done. I need to kick some ass.
I've always known I had this major girl power in me - it was fun. I woke up relieved it was just a dream but knew that I also miserably failed the test.
The only thing this dream revealed to me was my attachment over the fear of loss. The fight symbolizes attachment - resistance to change. It revealed how I still hold on to the sense of security that money provides - and that this same security is held on to tightly by many others. In order to pass I had to let go what I was losing - the sense of security.
I have no idea what the 'rape' intention coming from the DC meant nor how it fits in with this test. Maybe revealing another fear.
A Lesson In Creation
Since my last two experiences I can see how these entities have always been around - and to think that I'm a very private person when there is no such thing as privacy. We are never alone.
This entire fabric of reality is weaved with living life essence contained within every detail - excluding nothing. We the human are like the embroidered parts - our pattern is more complex and created after nature. Even before the Earth there were other patterns - the humans arrived a bit later no doubt after much thought. Everything animate - inanimate is a vehicle - a cubicle for each entity.
These entities are everywhere that I cannot even sleep without feeling their presence - even in my dreams I'm aware of them.
I also had an interesting dream this morning where some fear that I still hold is challenged - will write this up in next post.
This morning after I woke up from fear dream - I was being taught in my sleep state (where I also felt awake within this reality - could be some kind of simulation) how to mould and reconstruct reality - which simply means a destruction of some old structures. They are helping me to direct my thoughts into thinking of the creative result and then applying myself energetically through thoughts and restructuring which is in a sense replacing something. Now I know exactly what Krishnamurti meant to die to everything and how creation is destruction - creation destroys everything in its wake. But we humans understand destruction as an end to life, an end that is a loss. A destruction that is creation itself.
This entire fabric of reality is weaved with living life essence contained within every detail - excluding nothing. We the human are like the embroidered parts - our pattern is more complex and created after nature. Even before the Earth there were other patterns - the humans arrived a bit later no doubt after much thought. Everything animate - inanimate is a vehicle - a cubicle for each entity.
These entities are everywhere that I cannot even sleep without feeling their presence - even in my dreams I'm aware of them.
I also had an interesting dream this morning where some fear that I still hold is challenged - will write this up in next post.
This morning after I woke up from fear dream - I was being taught in my sleep state (where I also felt awake within this reality - could be some kind of simulation) how to mould and reconstruct reality - which simply means a destruction of some old structures. They are helping me to direct my thoughts into thinking of the creative result and then applying myself energetically through thoughts and restructuring which is in a sense replacing something. Now I know exactly what Krishnamurti meant to die to everything and how creation is destruction - creation destroys everything in its wake. But we humans understand destruction as an end to life, an end that is a loss. A destruction that is creation itself.
Saturday 22 January 2011
A Fairy Tale
This post is a follow up from previous post.
Chewed remaining quids and watched the entities painting the carpet with images of their presence.
They move immediately, little people are moving as though I am watching them from a long distance. They are moving to one side of room on the carpet, they seem to be looking up - I look to where they are looking. On the top of my drawer - what could possibly be there, just a few toiletries - nothing out of the ordinary. I think maybe they want me to look out the window - still there's nothing unusual even the clouds just look like clouds - can't be bothered seeking out images of faces there.
I look back down and they are insisting I understand them. Okay, I look and see that I've left a carrier bag on one side and the other a carboard box. I understand now - they want me to move these - there's something on these part of the carpet. After clearing the floor I watch them continue to move. A little person, looks like a child not sure about gender it could be either girl or boy. The child is cherub like and absolutely adorable. This child is running to someone who is not clear to me, a man - old, young - it is hard to make this other person. All I could see is his one arm put around the child's waist. I don't know but there is a mixture of complex feelings watching this.
To the left is a man's face - his eyes are searching deep into mine. He looks too curious and I get this feeling that maybe he doesn't trust me. I don't like the way he is looking at me. I put my box over his face - lol. Soon feel bad about it - maybe I completely misread him. Took box off and now his eyes are wide open and he looks so untterly shocked - I feel even more guilty and apologise.
Back to the child - she is looking up at something. At what - I need to know, there's something more to this scene. Airplanes are passing by in the Physical Reality and I think are these beings curious about that sound - is the child merely looking out the window amazed by the aircrafts.
I look a little while longer at the scene on the carpet - above the child I can now clearly see a fairy who has a wand over the child's right shoulder - dust seems to be moving heading for the child's face.
I stare at the fairy - with all these faces there is a type of optical illusion. Depending on which way you look without even having to move your position there are layers upon layers of different faces. Meaning there can be one big face - but that one face has contained within it many other faces. The fairy at one time looked like a kind of witch like creature, in another angle and old man, in another angle the dust coming out of her arms looked like a smaller child.
A part of the carpet started retexturing in a deliberate way, very slowly the shade was changing - I kept encouraging it to move and assuring it there was no fear on my part for any further weirdness to take place - I am getting accustomed to this.
To the side where I moved the carrier bag - I can see the shadow of this bag moving very slowly and as I stare it slows down - it must be thinking wondering how much to move without frightening me. I encourage it to move and simply tell me or better yet show me exactly what they want me to know.
A few jittering movement and the shadow does not move. All the faces, the sketches on the carpet remain - no more movement. They're giving me time to think about what they just revealed to make sense of it. As I rest ready to give in to sleep I think about it - and this is my first impression.
We are not of this world - the fairy tale is simply one version of the story of who we really are. The image painted a child which symbolizes innocence and purity. I am still confused about the man, but felt maybe he is the father. We need to understand what we are living right now is the charm of fairy dust - this fairy cast a magical spell and put us in a sort of trance and this trance is what we percieve as the consensus reality. I think the motive here is to break out of this trance or perhaps the entities are trying to cast another spell?
My interpretation could be wrong and I am open to the possibility that I misunderstood this fairy tale but it is the first thing that came to mind.
I have felt inspired to pick up a book I've had for a while William Bloom 'Working with angels, fairies and nature spirits' - a lot of the material has made more sense than when I first read it.
Chewed remaining quids and watched the entities painting the carpet with images of their presence.
They move immediately, little people are moving as though I am watching them from a long distance. They are moving to one side of room on the carpet, they seem to be looking up - I look to where they are looking. On the top of my drawer - what could possibly be there, just a few toiletries - nothing out of the ordinary. I think maybe they want me to look out the window - still there's nothing unusual even the clouds just look like clouds - can't be bothered seeking out images of faces there.
I look back down and they are insisting I understand them. Okay, I look and see that I've left a carrier bag on one side and the other a carboard box. I understand now - they want me to move these - there's something on these part of the carpet. After clearing the floor I watch them continue to move. A little person, looks like a child not sure about gender it could be either girl or boy. The child is cherub like and absolutely adorable. This child is running to someone who is not clear to me, a man - old, young - it is hard to make this other person. All I could see is his one arm put around the child's waist. I don't know but there is a mixture of complex feelings watching this.
To the left is a man's face - his eyes are searching deep into mine. He looks too curious and I get this feeling that maybe he doesn't trust me. I don't like the way he is looking at me. I put my box over his face - lol. Soon feel bad about it - maybe I completely misread him. Took box off and now his eyes are wide open and he looks so untterly shocked - I feel even more guilty and apologise.
Back to the child - she is looking up at something. At what - I need to know, there's something more to this scene. Airplanes are passing by in the Physical Reality and I think are these beings curious about that sound - is the child merely looking out the window amazed by the aircrafts.
I look a little while longer at the scene on the carpet - above the child I can now clearly see a fairy who has a wand over the child's right shoulder - dust seems to be moving heading for the child's face.
I stare at the fairy - with all these faces there is a type of optical illusion. Depending on which way you look without even having to move your position there are layers upon layers of different faces. Meaning there can be one big face - but that one face has contained within it many other faces. The fairy at one time looked like a kind of witch like creature, in another angle and old man, in another angle the dust coming out of her arms looked like a smaller child.
A part of the carpet started retexturing in a deliberate way, very slowly the shade was changing - I kept encouraging it to move and assuring it there was no fear on my part for any further weirdness to take place - I am getting accustomed to this.
To the side where I moved the carrier bag - I can see the shadow of this bag moving very slowly and as I stare it slows down - it must be thinking wondering how much to move without frightening me. I encourage it to move and simply tell me or better yet show me exactly what they want me to know.
A few jittering movement and the shadow does not move. All the faces, the sketches on the carpet remain - no more movement. They're giving me time to think about what they just revealed to make sense of it. As I rest ready to give in to sleep I think about it - and this is my first impression.
We are not of this world - the fairy tale is simply one version of the story of who we really are. The image painted a child which symbolizes innocence and purity. I am still confused about the man, but felt maybe he is the father. We need to understand what we are living right now is the charm of fairy dust - this fairy cast a magical spell and put us in a sort of trance and this trance is what we percieve as the consensus reality. I think the motive here is to break out of this trance or perhaps the entities are trying to cast another spell?
My interpretation could be wrong and I am open to the possibility that I misunderstood this fairy tale but it is the first thing that came to mind.
I have felt inspired to pick up a book I've had for a while William Bloom 'Working with angels, fairies and nature spirits' - a lot of the material has made more sense than when I first read it.
The Living Carpet
Chewed quids late at about 11:30pm. I was on third quid and felt the shift - different from the usual. It was more smooth that I couldn't even tell things had changed. Switched lamp off while on 4th quid and without immediately realizing it I was communication with my environment - there be enitities everywhere. I have 3 more quids left in bowl. In the dark I can feel looking in my direction - want to put bowl down on floor. Switched the lamp on - can't recall why I wanted to do this.
My gaze falls at the floor - there is movement in the carpet. I have thick burgundy carpet that leaves brush marks and creates two shades. These shades start to move - many faces emerge. I have no fear. Suddenly I feel as though I'm on a horse which seems to be the edge of my bed - they want to take me somewhere. I hold on to the horse ready for the long journey ahead. There's background noise - other's in the house their voices loud. I tell them to hold on - we can't go just yet to wherever they wanted to take me.
Something feels odd - I look at the carpet. These living entities are stretching out of carpet, moulding into human forms. It actually looks like something out of a horror movie only I'm not at all afraid - amazed is more like it. We are communicating through non-verbal communication (NVC). This language is simple yet there is something very complex about it - it is mostly movement and feelings but that is a language itself.
Though there is some sense of recognition I don't know exactly who they are - and I keep asking them to reveal their identities.
I could feel that they are happy I can see them like this - that to a greater degree I am aware of them. I keep whispering - not used to just thinking and feeling thoughts. Need to speak, I say that I will not tell anyone about them, that I won't even write about them on the blog. Their secrets are safe with me - trying to build some trust. At this point the entities look at each other slowing down their motion looking rather confused by my statement - then they start moving again. They are all moving towards the door and calling me to move in this direction again their forms moulding out of the floor. They want me to reveal them to everyone - meaning at least start by telling some of my family members already in the house. Now, I'm confused - I really was not expecting that.
I feel cold - wear cardigan and start walking to the door. I could feel there's a magnetic force all around me, especially under my feet. With each step there is the magnetic force connecting me to the magnetic force around these beings. I do feel wobbly in this state - though more coherent than usual. I get out of my room with the intention to tell my sisters I can hear them laughing as I stand in the hallway. Rehearsing what I intend to say their laughter puts me off - get back in room and tell them (entities in the carpet) that these people are too crazy to even believe me and I could imagine how insane they would think I am. Yes, everyone would think I'm crazy when really they're the ones who are actually insane. I tell them there's a name for this state I'm in - it's called schizophrenia. I wonder about the ways I can tell others about this part of reality that we don't ordinarily see - simply because we have seperated our lives from theirs and now live in a fragmented way.
I tell them I will find a way - to tell others, help them to see. Somehow it can be done - just not right now. Though I trust them there was this doubt, that if I were to reveal them to others they would abandon me, there would be no motion on their part and their motive just might be to trick me into making a fool of myself.
I went downstairs - need to walk for a while. I didn't need to ground myself - I was too grounded that I had reached the deepest part of what it means to be grounded. The faces peered out of the stairs with each step. Downstairs in the hallway on the hardwood floor - the grains formed many faces. Went back to the room, the forms were slow in motion now - they were resting? Why did they suddenly freeze? I don't recall playing musical statues - when exactly did the music stop? what music?
I figured they were doing me a huge favour by remaining still - especially after the talk about shcizo and insanity. They haven't exactly left - impressions of their faces are left all over the carpet, in the creases, in the walls, ceilings, in nature and in places where you would least expect them.
Eventually around 1am fell asleep for two hours and when I woke up decided to chew the remaining 3 quids - had another very interesting experience where the mind stretched a little more.
My gaze falls at the floor - there is movement in the carpet. I have thick burgundy carpet that leaves brush marks and creates two shades. These shades start to move - many faces emerge. I have no fear. Suddenly I feel as though I'm on a horse which seems to be the edge of my bed - they want to take me somewhere. I hold on to the horse ready for the long journey ahead. There's background noise - other's in the house their voices loud. I tell them to hold on - we can't go just yet to wherever they wanted to take me.
Something feels odd - I look at the carpet. These living entities are stretching out of carpet, moulding into human forms. It actually looks like something out of a horror movie only I'm not at all afraid - amazed is more like it. We are communicating through non-verbal communication (NVC). This language is simple yet there is something very complex about it - it is mostly movement and feelings but that is a language itself.
Though there is some sense of recognition I don't know exactly who they are - and I keep asking them to reveal their identities.
I could feel that they are happy I can see them like this - that to a greater degree I am aware of them. I keep whispering - not used to just thinking and feeling thoughts. Need to speak, I say that I will not tell anyone about them, that I won't even write about them on the blog. Their secrets are safe with me - trying to build some trust. At this point the entities look at each other slowing down their motion looking rather confused by my statement - then they start moving again. They are all moving towards the door and calling me to move in this direction again their forms moulding out of the floor. They want me to reveal them to everyone - meaning at least start by telling some of my family members already in the house. Now, I'm confused - I really was not expecting that.
I feel cold - wear cardigan and start walking to the door. I could feel there's a magnetic force all around me, especially under my feet. With each step there is the magnetic force connecting me to the magnetic force around these beings. I do feel wobbly in this state - though more coherent than usual. I get out of my room with the intention to tell my sisters I can hear them laughing as I stand in the hallway. Rehearsing what I intend to say their laughter puts me off - get back in room and tell them (entities in the carpet) that these people are too crazy to even believe me and I could imagine how insane they would think I am. Yes, everyone would think I'm crazy when really they're the ones who are actually insane. I tell them there's a name for this state I'm in - it's called schizophrenia. I wonder about the ways I can tell others about this part of reality that we don't ordinarily see - simply because we have seperated our lives from theirs and now live in a fragmented way.
I tell them I will find a way - to tell others, help them to see. Somehow it can be done - just not right now. Though I trust them there was this doubt, that if I were to reveal them to others they would abandon me, there would be no motion on their part and their motive just might be to trick me into making a fool of myself.
I went downstairs - need to walk for a while. I didn't need to ground myself - I was too grounded that I had reached the deepest part of what it means to be grounded. The faces peered out of the stairs with each step. Downstairs in the hallway on the hardwood floor - the grains formed many faces. Went back to the room, the forms were slow in motion now - they were resting? Why did they suddenly freeze? I don't recall playing musical statues - when exactly did the music stop? what music?
I figured they were doing me a huge favour by remaining still - especially after the talk about shcizo and insanity. They haven't exactly left - impressions of their faces are left all over the carpet, in the creases, in the walls, ceilings, in nature and in places where you would least expect them.
Eventually around 1am fell asleep for two hours and when I woke up decided to chew the remaining 3 quids - had another very interesting experience where the mind stretched a little more.
Thursday 20 January 2011
The One Family
The time is 8:25am and I'm on 2nd quid. Surprisingly the Salvia has kicked in - on third quid there's full on shift - I chew the 4th - leaving behind just one more in bowl.
I want to meet those I met in 'Meet the Family'. I knew who they were at the time - there was this strong connection. Just could not identify them.
In front of me the wall - 2 people emerge - composed of the wall countoured by the play of shadow and light. Are they the beings I met the other day? Who were they really? I feel it - they're neighbours - not sure which neighbours but I get the impression they live near me - I feel a little exposed but its okay.
I am meeting most people who are living around me maybe - coming through window. It's like they're coming to greet me and introduce themselves. As I look at all these people forms coming across like there's some sort of parade - 1 being pauses and hesitates to reveal his or her self - eventually musters the courage and comes through - I'm certain it's is someone I know.
I realize that some of the people that I have not been getting along with might be here - and I felt hate, anger, animosity were so ridiculous - when the truth is there is a natural balance of peace and harmony between us.
One important detail that I sensed in the presence of my entire neighbourhood was that we are all family - there is no individual family.
All I could feel was that we are One - so beautifully connected with each other - I could never feel any hate towards another ever again for any reason. There was this wonderful sense of community - we're supposed to work together as a team.
They have to get back in position - or I think the brain is being deactivated that part that allows one to see with this perception.
It looks like they're skimming across the wall flying out the window.
These beings are present in everything. I remember thinking -when we take building or anything apart what are we actually taking apart - these beings? that compose the external visible reality?
If we could see what Salvia reveals - life would be marvelously different - there be a complete transformation of the relationship we have with everything.
I see a woman near the light ceiling - the woman who I previously thought was little girl - observing maybe wanting to incarnate as a human being and realized she actually was having a human experience - then what is she doing near the ceiling light unless she is part of the weaved reality and not inhabiting a physical body.
A lot of what I read in Ringing Cedars Series started to make a lot more sense.
For eg. Why we need the entire human consciousness to wake up from their deep sleep and transform the Earth we live on back to its Pristine Origins. The world we live in is shaped by the consciousness of every human being.
I also felt my very strong desires of wanting to gain this or attain that is so worthless - there was this urgency this need that all who had made themselves known joined me - whatever I did it had to include everyone. I felt this indescribable wholeness and what it meant to be a part of it.
As everyone started to get back into position I was looking away to make the process quicker - wanted them to leave faster - I am trying my best to forget them. Why? I was too awake and did not want to go back to PR where the majority were still sleeping, at least if I could just forget. A most astounding hunger strikes - like I might have been starved for decades. Grab peanut butter jar and spoon - big gallops at a time. In this state the PB tastes so divine I simply cannot put the spoon down - it is sooooooooooooooo good. Salvia enhancing flavours? but then again I have acquired this PB addiction recently.
I could feel the butter going down my gut - it hurt, felt like a blocked pipe. I put the spoon down. Looked at wall only to remember those beings that I tried to forget and I almost did forget the experience I had. There's still some movement but slowly the surrounding is almost as it was before I took the Salvia - the only thing that remained completely changed was me.
I want to meet those I met in 'Meet the Family'. I knew who they were at the time - there was this strong connection. Just could not identify them.
In front of me the wall - 2 people emerge - composed of the wall countoured by the play of shadow and light. Are they the beings I met the other day? Who were they really? I feel it - they're neighbours - not sure which neighbours but I get the impression they live near me - I feel a little exposed but its okay.
I am meeting most people who are living around me maybe - coming through window. It's like they're coming to greet me and introduce themselves. As I look at all these people forms coming across like there's some sort of parade - 1 being pauses and hesitates to reveal his or her self - eventually musters the courage and comes through - I'm certain it's is someone I know.
I realize that some of the people that I have not been getting along with might be here - and I felt hate, anger, animosity were so ridiculous - when the truth is there is a natural balance of peace and harmony between us.
One important detail that I sensed in the presence of my entire neighbourhood was that we are all family - there is no individual family.
All I could feel was that we are One - so beautifully connected with each other - I could never feel any hate towards another ever again for any reason. There was this wonderful sense of community - we're supposed to work together as a team.
They have to get back in position - or I think the brain is being deactivated that part that allows one to see with this perception.
It looks like they're skimming across the wall flying out the window.
These beings are present in everything. I remember thinking -when we take building or anything apart what are we actually taking apart - these beings? that compose the external visible reality?
If we could see what Salvia reveals - life would be marvelously different - there be a complete transformation of the relationship we have with everything.
I see a woman near the light ceiling - the woman who I previously thought was little girl - observing maybe wanting to incarnate as a human being and realized she actually was having a human experience - then what is she doing near the ceiling light unless she is part of the weaved reality and not inhabiting a physical body.
A lot of what I read in Ringing Cedars Series started to make a lot more sense.
For eg. Why we need the entire human consciousness to wake up from their deep sleep and transform the Earth we live on back to its Pristine Origins. The world we live in is shaped by the consciousness of every human being.
I also felt my very strong desires of wanting to gain this or attain that is so worthless - there was this urgency this need that all who had made themselves known joined me - whatever I did it had to include everyone. I felt this indescribable wholeness and what it meant to be a part of it.
As everyone started to get back into position I was looking away to make the process quicker - wanted them to leave faster - I am trying my best to forget them. Why? I was too awake and did not want to go back to PR where the majority were still sleeping, at least if I could just forget. A most astounding hunger strikes - like I might have been starved for decades. Grab peanut butter jar and spoon - big gallops at a time. In this state the PB tastes so divine I simply cannot put the spoon down - it is sooooooooooooooo good. Salvia enhancing flavours? but then again I have acquired this PB addiction recently.
I could feel the butter going down my gut - it hurt, felt like a blocked pipe. I put the spoon down. Looked at wall only to remember those beings that I tried to forget and I almost did forget the experience I had. There's still some movement but slowly the surrounding is almost as it was before I took the Salvia - the only thing that remained completely changed was me.
Wednesday 19 January 2011
Signal For Major Change
Dreams and recent experiences have been about something being taken away - the burglary incident in recent post 'Seduction' was one of the first sign I got after that some dreams have been about some part of my life where something will be in a sense robbed from me depending on whether I put up a fight - in the dreams and even latest projection I have been putting up a fight.
I can feel it - deep feelings, it probably sounds like paranoia but I just know there's gonna be a major event that will either leave me traumatised or something that will give me strength.
I know what it likely is but I'm so afraid to write it - thinking about it is hard enough. I've practiced enough LOA techniques to know that what you think about you attract to you, but this isn't even me thinking - this thought seems to be thinking by itself.
I can feel it - deep feelings, it probably sounds like paranoia but I just know there's gonna be a major event that will either leave me traumatised or something that will give me strength.
I know what it likely is but I'm so afraid to write it - thinking about it is hard enough. I've practiced enough LOA techniques to know that what you think about you attract to you, but this isn't even me thinking - this thought seems to be thinking by itself.
Tuesday 18 January 2011
Cartoon Projection and Light Faces
At 6am relaxed, looked to the right near door, there was a face emerging. At first felt like the room was spinning, could not sense that it was astral body. Then I realized it was the 360° vision - projected into a cartoon scene aimlessly flying around viewing everything. Flowers, plants, trees - a natural scenery in cartoon. Wondering why a cartoon, just play along. I am sinking down at the same time thinking I really hate it when this occurs. Look down as I free fall - things get blurry I shout out clarity and it becomes clear. Bart Simpson is just below me, I am perplexed with his presence. I get ready in superman posture and fly up with control - just passing by this wonderful 3D canvas brimming with colour - very interesting cartoon imagery.
Suddenly I hear this loud mechanical roaring sound - like something getting scraped. I sense it's coming from physical bedroom. Something's going on there and need to get back asap. This thought brings me back - I take a deep breath and as I open my eyes to the right side there's a luminous purple light filled with beings (faces and all) with eyes staring at me - they are formed by this light. I am a little startled - just got used to seeing beings in every day objects, nature and formed by shadow and light as flat images . This was a completely different level of seeing, not just full colour but emerging out in 3D form. Took in another deep breath and looked away - I was not prepared. The light eventually faded leaving behind imprints of faces which I was more comfortable with. I could see how these visuals could make a person feel like they are crazy, especially in a society where it is accepted as a sign of mental illness. I don't believe these are simply hallucinations - there's certainly a lot more to them.
Closed eyes fell asleep with several SP episodes - in one SP I recall feeling permanently immobilized in an awkward position. There was panic, lots of anxiety over the thought that I was going to be found in this position.
Suddenly I hear this loud mechanical roaring sound - like something getting scraped. I sense it's coming from physical bedroom. Something's going on there and need to get back asap. This thought brings me back - I take a deep breath and as I open my eyes to the right side there's a luminous purple light filled with beings (faces and all) with eyes staring at me - they are formed by this light. I am a little startled - just got used to seeing beings in every day objects, nature and formed by shadow and light as flat images . This was a completely different level of seeing, not just full colour but emerging out in 3D form. Took in another deep breath and looked away - I was not prepared. The light eventually faded leaving behind imprints of faces which I was more comfortable with. I could see how these visuals could make a person feel like they are crazy, especially in a society where it is accepted as a sign of mental illness. I don't believe these are simply hallucinations - there's certainly a lot more to them.
Closed eyes fell asleep with several SP episodes - in one SP I recall feeling permanently immobilized in an awkward position. There was panic, lots of anxiety over the thought that I was going to be found in this position.
Monday 17 January 2011
Meet The Family
By 8:20am 4 Salvia quids chewed, perception has been altered - I'm wondering why the surrounding atmosphere hasn't rattled or stirred into activity yet- usually there's a commotion. This time everyone is silent. One part outside the window that I make out to be a face - a part of the structure. This face is deliberately ignoring me. I feel crushed but deep down know why I am being given the silent treatment.
I know I did something that I shouldn't have done and I have inside me a plan formulating to reveal more - the great hidden secrets. I don't see what all the fuss is about, nobody will believe the stuff I say unless they themselves discover these secrets for themselves and the others should think I'm either crazy or have an overactive imagination. I know it has to do with the recent satellite images - as I submitted those images I really felt like I shouldn't but went against these feelings considering them to be mere paranoia.
I lay down - nothing I can do now. My perception changes - the light and shadow are stirring producing visions of beings on the wall and ceiling. There is a female presence, she has my full attention. I'm explaining myself about the situation with the blog. She is like a mother figure and I get the feeling that she is not concerned with what I've done - a male figure enters beside her. I begin to feel disapproval from him - not anger or hate just disapproval of me revealing too much. Suddenly the female and male embrace and kiss - there is so much love flowing here it's strange I don't know if I'm getting punished or what this discussion is about anymore.
There's a crowd forming - a family gathering of sorts. I feel like it's mostly elders, some kids present in the background - they're trying to understand me all the while I'm thinking 'wow how am I gonna write about this on the blog'. They all move in a particular direction - heading for my computer station in the corner. Their attention is focused on the computer - they look at it as though an alien just landed. They seem to have no concept of a computer just that I can sense they want to drain energy out of it. I plead with them not to, it's a brand new computer. I hope they haven't seen the other computers in the house.
The topic changes after I make a deal that I will no longer blog about the secrets being revealed - I don't have permision to do this - not that it matters but nobody would believe it anyways.
The topic is my exit from the game - they're considering it but it is not up to them - they want me to decide it. I don't feel I need to defend myself but I can definitely make them see it in a new light - I tell them about the dream I have - of creating my own little paradise here. I tell them about some problems I am having here and realize I need to be cautious about what I'm thinking when I become this aware of their presence - the connection is strong at these times and when they recieve a full signal from me in this state they conspire to make my every wish come true - no matter how beautiful or ugly it is.
Everyone is slowly unforming - looks like they are walking away or my brain is just slowing down but I spot a little girl - the visual is so clear. She is hiding behind the ceiling light fixture and doesn't seem to leave. She has these big adorable eyes and has been silent the whole time - carefully watching. I get the feeling she's never been human - I wonder who she is - a little sister? So far everyone I met I knew to be family but it wasn't like I suddenly remembered. In fact when I had to describe the paradise I wanted to create on Earth I had to do a lot of rummaging through memories - with them it is simply knowing. I tell the little girl to think before making the jump to be human - maybe learn a few lessons during observation. Almost like I'm telling her to do some homework so that she is prepared.
It was like waking up from a deep sleep where you were dreaming about being human and having human desires. When I found myself surrounded by all these beings I felt they were waiting for me to wake up. So many knowings came to me which I noted down.
I've decided not to share anymore secrets - there's actually more to the images that I've posted. It seems for now it is best to share K experiences and how to handle these new energies.
I know I did something that I shouldn't have done and I have inside me a plan formulating to reveal more - the great hidden secrets. I don't see what all the fuss is about, nobody will believe the stuff I say unless they themselves discover these secrets for themselves and the others should think I'm either crazy or have an overactive imagination. I know it has to do with the recent satellite images - as I submitted those images I really felt like I shouldn't but went against these feelings considering them to be mere paranoia.
I lay down - nothing I can do now. My perception changes - the light and shadow are stirring producing visions of beings on the wall and ceiling. There is a female presence, she has my full attention. I'm explaining myself about the situation with the blog. She is like a mother figure and I get the feeling that she is not concerned with what I've done - a male figure enters beside her. I begin to feel disapproval from him - not anger or hate just disapproval of me revealing too much. Suddenly the female and male embrace and kiss - there is so much love flowing here it's strange I don't know if I'm getting punished or what this discussion is about anymore.
There's a crowd forming - a family gathering of sorts. I feel like it's mostly elders, some kids present in the background - they're trying to understand me all the while I'm thinking 'wow how am I gonna write about this on the blog'. They all move in a particular direction - heading for my computer station in the corner. Their attention is focused on the computer - they look at it as though an alien just landed. They seem to have no concept of a computer just that I can sense they want to drain energy out of it. I plead with them not to, it's a brand new computer. I hope they haven't seen the other computers in the house.
The topic changes after I make a deal that I will no longer blog about the secrets being revealed - I don't have permision to do this - not that it matters but nobody would believe it anyways.
The topic is my exit from the game - they're considering it but it is not up to them - they want me to decide it. I don't feel I need to defend myself but I can definitely make them see it in a new light - I tell them about the dream I have - of creating my own little paradise here. I tell them about some problems I am having here and realize I need to be cautious about what I'm thinking when I become this aware of their presence - the connection is strong at these times and when they recieve a full signal from me in this state they conspire to make my every wish come true - no matter how beautiful or ugly it is.
Everyone is slowly unforming - looks like they are walking away or my brain is just slowing down but I spot a little girl - the visual is so clear. She is hiding behind the ceiling light fixture and doesn't seem to leave. She has these big adorable eyes and has been silent the whole time - carefully watching. I get the feeling she's never been human - I wonder who she is - a little sister? So far everyone I met I knew to be family but it wasn't like I suddenly remembered. In fact when I had to describe the paradise I wanted to create on Earth I had to do a lot of rummaging through memories - with them it is simply knowing. I tell the little girl to think before making the jump to be human - maybe learn a few lessons during observation. Almost like I'm telling her to do some homework so that she is prepared.
It was like waking up from a deep sleep where you were dreaming about being human and having human desires. When I found myself surrounded by all these beings I felt they were waiting for me to wake up. So many knowings came to me which I noted down.
I've decided not to share anymore secrets - there's actually more to the images that I've posted. It seems for now it is best to share K experiences and how to handle these new energies.
Seduction
I get back to bed around 6am but start relaxing fully about 40 mins later. Focusing on my breathing I am going deeper and deeper until suddenly I am touched by an idea. The idea is that there's someone outside my house - I play with the idea and find myself anxiously looking out of the top floor window - outside the living room window there are about 4 people taking a peep inside obviously planning to break in. I bang the window trying to ward them off with my presence but they can't hear me - I am so angry.
The idea slows down, and I remember it was just an idea. Then I hear whispers of voices - the idea is that they are conspiring something but I can't make out what they're saying. There is a strange feeling and the voices are gone only to be replaced by a symphony. I wonder where it is until I realize I am the symphony, I feel what is like to be a string of notes. The tune remains and there is the addition of a female voice singing at first sounding English, then Hindi at which point I'm thinking whether I am the one conjuring these songs. I try to sing along and think certain Hindi phrases, but the words that come out are different. The language has changed it sounds either Arabic or Turkish I honestly don't know. It was just beautiful.
I look to the wall on one side of the room, there's a birth of an image taking place. I stare at it with open eyes, close my eyes and the image burns through the eyelids. The base of my spine is rattling - just this tiny motion is intoxifying the body with sexual energy. I realized at this moment that all the ideas so far of this and that occuring were like caresses - a means to seduce me. I try to give into to the motion present in the spine, but with a slight movement it was gone. Got up at 7:15am.
The idea slows down, and I remember it was just an idea. Then I hear whispers of voices - the idea is that they are conspiring something but I can't make out what they're saying. There is a strange feeling and the voices are gone only to be replaced by a symphony. I wonder where it is until I realize I am the symphony, I feel what is like to be a string of notes. The tune remains and there is the addition of a female voice singing at first sounding English, then Hindi at which point I'm thinking whether I am the one conjuring these songs. I try to sing along and think certain Hindi phrases, but the words that come out are different. The language has changed it sounds either Arabic or Turkish I honestly don't know. It was just beautiful.
I look to the wall on one side of the room, there's a birth of an image taking place. I stare at it with open eyes, close my eyes and the image burns through the eyelids. The base of my spine is rattling - just this tiny motion is intoxifying the body with sexual energy. I realized at this moment that all the ideas so far of this and that occuring were like caresses - a means to seduce me. I try to give into to the motion present in the spine, but with a slight movement it was gone. Got up at 7:15am.
Psychedelic Home
In this dream I'm outside in a field - again I am capturing faces everywhere. There are many people here - some kind of memorial for a well known woman who experimented with psychedelics. I feel her presence lingering in the atmosphere, I feel her say 'May all who seek peace find peace'.
I look to the left, not too far away there's a mansion. There's a huge stone structure in front of the house and this part forms a face combined with the mansion entrance. I walk closer, from the outside it is boarded up, used to belong to the woman. Walk inside, it is really massive and made completely out of stone - like one gigantic stone carved up. The ceilings are way up high and I feel dizzy just being in this big open space. I don't see any furniture about. A man walks in - some kind of presenter working for a reality tv show, he plans to stay for the week for a project journaling what it feels like to stay in a strange building.
Walk into a room with large windows - there's a balcony - this part is above sea. I see many large wild birds floating here - forming a pattern. On a wood block I see the carcass of a bird and wondered how this bird came to an end. The other birds feel something and are moving as an individual - made up of many birds.
Somehow the dream transforms where I am seeing familiar faces, kind of garbled and hard to recall. Woke up 4am.
I look to the left, not too far away there's a mansion. There's a huge stone structure in front of the house and this part forms a face combined with the mansion entrance. I walk closer, from the outside it is boarded up, used to belong to the woman. Walk inside, it is really massive and made completely out of stone - like one gigantic stone carved up. The ceilings are way up high and I feel dizzy just being in this big open space. I don't see any furniture about. A man walks in - some kind of presenter working for a reality tv show, he plans to stay for the week for a project journaling what it feels like to stay in a strange building.
Walk into a room with large windows - there's a balcony - this part is above sea. I see many large wild birds floating here - forming a pattern. On a wood block I see the carcass of a bird and wondered how this bird came to an end. The other birds feel something and are moving as an individual - made up of many birds.
Somehow the dream transforms where I am seeing familiar faces, kind of garbled and hard to recall. Woke up 4am.
Saturday 15 January 2011
Major Orgasmic Brain Massage
As I write this I am still feeling some brain pains.
7am tried to fall asleep again. I felt sexual energy taking over and found myself consciously moved to do the mula bandha - felt a little rattle at the base of spine and knew something was about to take place. I heard a electro button sound going 'deeeet' then another single tone.
I turn my head to the right side because for some unknown reason I can't keep my head rested on the pillow aligned with the body. On the wall I see a bearded young man, almost looks like Jesus.
Close eyes and his face is still there. Forehead gets really magnetic - brain feels like it is being pulled up and massaged - the intensity of this brain orgasm is unbearable - I know not to fight it, feels important - so I give in and remain still. My head rocks a little, nodding and shaking a little left and right.
I get a few dream visuals where the forming entities surrounding me are eating me or doing something I can't seem to describe. Got up at around 9am.
My head still hurts a lot, I feel the pain deep in the brain. Not sure if I should attribute the pain to menses or the brain activity.
7am tried to fall asleep again. I felt sexual energy taking over and found myself consciously moved to do the mula bandha - felt a little rattle at the base of spine and knew something was about to take place. I heard a electro button sound going 'deeeet' then another single tone.
I turn my head to the right side because for some unknown reason I can't keep my head rested on the pillow aligned with the body. On the wall I see a bearded young man, almost looks like Jesus.
Close eyes and his face is still there. Forehead gets really magnetic - brain feels like it is being pulled up and massaged - the intensity of this brain orgasm is unbearable - I know not to fight it, feels important - so I give in and remain still. My head rocks a little, nodding and shaking a little left and right.
I get a few dream visuals where the forming entities surrounding me are eating me or doing something I can't seem to describe. Got up at around 9am.
My head still hurts a lot, I feel the pain deep in the brain. Not sure if I should attribute the pain to menses or the brain activity.
Dreams of Divine Light
I had dreams about being in a scene where I am observing - making out images within the scene and capture various snapshots until it disappears - then I'd look again - great divine beings - so gigantic. They are formed by illuminations of light - the lines are made from light. They are huge structures. I figure these rays must be from the sun. The rays illuminate these divine beings - I felt they were all around me - then I got the sense that I am on top, in and around them all at the same time. This was unlike 3D, a very different kind of dimensional viewing.
This dream felt like a lesson - a lesson in seeing the bigger picture? One thing I really understood from it is that this reality we percieve has so much depth, you could get to the deepest end and still there is a lot more to see. The deeper you look the greater you see. Woke at 6am making sense of this dream and I got this inner knowing that the Earth is a tiny speck of a vast expansive field - a tiny cell on a bigger body, I felt that the deeper you travel into this depth the slower time feels - like a day there would feel like what a millenia is here. Suddenly I felt like I knew why I came here.
- at 7am fell asleep and had a major orgasmic brain massage experience.
This dream felt like a lesson - a lesson in seeing the bigger picture? One thing I really understood from it is that this reality we percieve has so much depth, you could get to the deepest end and still there is a lot more to see. The deeper you look the greater you see. Woke at 6am making sense of this dream and I got this inner knowing that the Earth is a tiny speck of a vast expansive field - a tiny cell on a bigger body, I felt that the deeper you travel into this depth the slower time feels - like a day there would feel like what a millenia is here. Suddenly I felt like I knew why I came here.
- at 7am fell asleep and had a major orgasmic brain massage experience.
Friday 14 January 2011
Australia Flood - La Niña and El Viejo
I was taking a look at NASA's many captured images of all kinds of natural disasters and pretty much in everything I am finding images. I don't really strain my eyes or look hard, they just appear to me - like the brain is piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. There's no doubt that some kind of change has been made to the brain.
I took a look at the most recent disaster which is all over the headlines - the flood in Australia and before I took a look at the satellite images I didn't read too much about it other than how it has put many homes at risk and many people still unaccounted for.
Here is the whole image:
Source: Earth Observatory - NASA
Here are two images (cropped from the right hand side top corner of the above picture - next to Rockhampton) - Image A pointing out facial features, look at Image B to see if you can make out the face:
Image A Image B
In this image you should be able to make out the face of an old man.
Here is the another satellite picture of Australia's flood:
Source: Earth Observatory - NASA
Here are the two cropped images (from the right hand side top corner of the above picture - next to Rockhampton) - again Image A pointing out to the features and image B for clearer viewing:
Image A Image B
In this image there is a little girl who looks to be splashing water, I could see the splash pattern on her face and the wavey splash in the sea. She also seems to be spitting or sucking water into her mouth. This one might be a little harder to make out. However, when I looked at it a while longer I noticed inside the image of the girl there is a face of an old man.
I read some more on the Australia flood and found out that it was caused by La Niña - did some research on this. La Niña means the little girl and found out that it is sometimes referred to as El Viejo, which means the old man. Uh - coincidence?
I've been trying to figure out why these names are given and found a few articles - nothing that actually suggests that it has to do with the pattern of the weather forming these images. I hope others can see it - it is really fascinating.
Here are the articles from the web about La Niña and El Viejo:
Article 1
Article 2
I took a look at the most recent disaster which is all over the headlines - the flood in Australia and before I took a look at the satellite images I didn't read too much about it other than how it has put many homes at risk and many people still unaccounted for.
Here is the whole image:
Source: Earth Observatory - NASAHere are two images (cropped from the right hand side top corner of the above picture - next to Rockhampton) - Image A pointing out facial features, look at Image B to see if you can make out the face:
Image A Image B
In this image you should be able to make out the face of an old man.
Here is the another satellite picture of Australia's flood:
Source: Earth Observatory - NASAHere are the two cropped images (from the right hand side top corner of the above picture - next to Rockhampton) - again Image A pointing out to the features and image B for clearer viewing:
Image A Image B
In this image there is a little girl who looks to be splashing water, I could see the splash pattern on her face and the wavey splash in the sea. She also seems to be spitting or sucking water into her mouth. This one might be a little harder to make out. However, when I looked at it a while longer I noticed inside the image of the girl there is a face of an old man.
I read some more on the Australia flood and found out that it was caused by La Niña - did some research on this. La Niña means the little girl and found out that it is sometimes referred to as El Viejo, which means the old man. Uh - coincidence?
I've been trying to figure out why these names are given and found a few articles - nothing that actually suggests that it has to do with the pattern of the weather forming these images. I hope others can see it - it is really fascinating.
Here are the articles from the web about La Niña and El Viejo:
Article 1
Article 2
Interpreting Natural Disasters
I have been so fascinated by all the faces that I am seeing everywhere - I mean everywhere even the smudges of a door handle.
I decided to google lots of images of various sceneries of nature etc and wow!
Decided to look up images of natural disasters. Checked out hurricanes and came across Hurricane Katrina - which absolutely fascinated me.
Here's the original image:
Source: Nasa Earth Observatory
Here's the image outlining two of the characters:
To the left is an image of a little man or a boy - to the right is a woman with an interesting permed up hairdo (the hair seems to be made of all kinds of faces). Inside the woman is a big face.
Woke up from a dream where I was higher up in the sky looking down and on Earth or some planet seeing the face of a woman - there was some message in it that I couldn't decipher - woke up at 4am from this dream with a headache and aches in left ear like I might have slept in an awkward position where my ear was bent.
I think there's another way to look at natural disasters, we should learn to interpret their meaning - maybe there's something in the bigger picture?
I decided to google lots of images of various sceneries of nature etc and wow!
Decided to look up images of natural disasters. Checked out hurricanes and came across Hurricane Katrina - which absolutely fascinated me.
Here's the original image:
Source: Nasa Earth ObservatoryHere's the image outlining two of the characters:
To the left is an image of a little man or a boy - to the right is a woman with an interesting permed up hairdo (the hair seems to be made of all kinds of faces). Inside the woman is a big face.
Woke up from a dream where I was higher up in the sky looking down and on Earth or some planet seeing the face of a woman - there was some message in it that I couldn't decipher - woke up at 4am from this dream with a headache and aches in left ear like I might have slept in an awkward position where my ear was bent.
I think there's another way to look at natural disasters, we should learn to interpret their meaning - maybe there's something in the bigger picture?
Wednesday 12 January 2011
Pareidolia
Pareidolia - which is the name for seeing faces in things or hearing certain sounds that has significance to the person percieving it.
I am noticing these faces everywhere, yesterday there were some on the vinyl toilet floor - had this flooring for almost two years and I have seen one or two face before - this time they were scattered all over.
Saw some last night whilst in bed outside frame of window - formed by the sand cement I used about two years ago to fill up the huge gap between building and frame and did not bother to paint over.
Just a moment ago I noticed the faces outside formed by tree branches - incredible. I have since read many accounts of this phenomena online experienced by others.
This is interesting, when I'm under the effects of Salvia the way the walls, ceiling and other random objects come to life you would think in reality they are all where they are even when the effects die down - just that they become quiet or maybe the function of the brain that allows this perception dims down unless you make some initiative to see them.
I am noticing these faces everywhere, yesterday there were some on the vinyl toilet floor - had this flooring for almost two years and I have seen one or two face before - this time they were scattered all over.
Saw some last night whilst in bed outside frame of window - formed by the sand cement I used about two years ago to fill up the huge gap between building and frame and did not bother to paint over.
Just a moment ago I noticed the faces outside formed by tree branches - incredible. I have since read many accounts of this phenomena online experienced by others.
This is interesting, when I'm under the effects of Salvia the way the walls, ceiling and other random objects come to life you would think in reality they are all where they are even when the effects die down - just that they become quiet or maybe the function of the brain that allows this perception dims down unless you make some initiative to see them.
Tuesday 11 January 2011
Faces In The Sky
After Salvia event yesterday evening, becoming more sober I stared at the sky for 30 minutes. Softly gazing seems to do the trick. Passing were many faces - I'm amazed I've never seen anything quite as magical.
It wasn't a vision or a full coloured visual - this was clouds and the color of the blue sky and perhaps even the motion of the wind which gave the impression that several figurines were moving.
I witnessed mostly ancient greek old men type faces. There were a few children but mostly old faces. Some looked like jokers, some old men had mouth slightly open revealing a teeth or two which was funny. There was one figure of a beautiful elegant woman - she had this grace about her, she moved slightly. A man with pointy hat raised his arm fixing hat - another old greek face actually moved his eye's - so amazing to see these movements. Most of the old faces - some were women had a rather solemn grumpy look on their face and others looked mildly sinister - they needed some serious cheering up.
I wondered what they were up to - I knew it would rain after checking weather forecast and thought they're preparing our weather predictions. I feel the weather really is being controlled by the masses - I've read a chapter regarding this in Doreen Valiente's book Natural Magic.
It is just absolutely amazing that the sky is painted in this way - I wonder what other magestic aspect of this planet will be revealed.
I found a video on youtube - with a gigantic face and eyes peering out - click here There's no doubt more to view.
I woke up later in the night at about 12:45am - remembering my sleepless sleep where I was conversing with others telling me something about oil and trash and how there are holes we are eating through? It made a lot of sense at the time. Surprisingly I felt rather refreshed I thought it might be 4 or 5am - shocked to see it was only 12:45am. Tried to go back to sleep but that was impossible - did oil pulling and some chores - still not tired. Then looked at the sky but it has been covered completely with clouds and no visible face to be seen.
It wasn't a vision or a full coloured visual - this was clouds and the color of the blue sky and perhaps even the motion of the wind which gave the impression that several figurines were moving.
I witnessed mostly ancient greek old men type faces. There were a few children but mostly old faces. Some looked like jokers, some old men had mouth slightly open revealing a teeth or two which was funny. There was one figure of a beautiful elegant woman - she had this grace about her, she moved slightly. A man with pointy hat raised his arm fixing hat - another old greek face actually moved his eye's - so amazing to see these movements. Most of the old faces - some were women had a rather solemn grumpy look on their face and others looked mildly sinister - they needed some serious cheering up.
I wondered what they were up to - I knew it would rain after checking weather forecast and thought they're preparing our weather predictions. I feel the weather really is being controlled by the masses - I've read a chapter regarding this in Doreen Valiente's book Natural Magic.
It is just absolutely amazing that the sky is painted in this way - I wonder what other magestic aspect of this planet will be revealed.
I found a video on youtube - with a gigantic face and eyes peering out - click here There's no doubt more to view.
I woke up later in the night at about 12:45am - remembering my sleepless sleep where I was conversing with others telling me something about oil and trash and how there are holes we are eating through? It made a lot of sense at the time. Surprisingly I felt rather refreshed I thought it might be 4 or 5am - shocked to see it was only 12:45am. Tried to go back to sleep but that was impossible - did oil pulling and some chores - still not tired. Then looked at the sky but it has been covered completely with clouds and no visible face to be seen.
Monday 10 January 2011
The Possible End of Salvia Sharing
Salvia crumbled leaves formed 5 quid balls - todays dose is best amount. Used at 5:30pm - the worst time possible.
Salvia woke me up good this time:
I was clearing out drawer - saw empty bags of salvia but two had quite a bit of salvia crumbles - ordered some fresh batch so was going to experiment with Salvia again. These crumbles decided to use up, soaked and during soak I was thinking a lot about someone who has helped to get me sexually charged up today and I did not want this Salvia trip to be about him, bcoz others energies especially if you're thinking about them gets mixed up easily in the experience.
Anyways, it would appear he was the least of my problems. I chewed third ball (crumbly) and there was a male like character in my batch of chewed up Salvia - it was looking at me and I said 'What you looking at?' and spat the next ball on top of it LOL!
I am sitting on bed chewing, as I go under I tell them (beings who are stirring) how I should make a movie about what the effects are like and I make sure to inform them that I will not be in it but it will be about what Salvia does - a direct experience - I could so imagine it as a blockbuster hit.
Salvia is waking me up fast this time on so little of it. I want to lie back and go with the flow. The beings all around are stirring me up - conversing with me wanting to tell me something when suddenly phone rings - it's my sister I was thinking how she would be the one person to really interfere. The beings are sort of silently laughing - I think they set me up but I am too absorbed in my issues to take notice. I silence the phone then in the house another sis calls me with this annoying sister I have who is now on the other line - I screamed back that I'll call her. She shouts back saying it's alright sis wanted to just check what was for dinner. To make things worse my phone beeped and I got a message saying 'It's alright just decided to eat out now' - I felt like screaming but suppressed it, I think it is just poison in the body now. Weirdly it felt like she was tormenting me - somehow like she must know what I'm up to.
My anger was profound to say the least - I looked at all the other beings around and told them 'WTF! can you do something about them? F***ing Hell they should be out of my life already'. The whole time I'm getting angry I'm thinking there's no way I'm gonna write about this on the blog - it seems to be just about my stupid sisters.
The beings are telling me (NVC) to start writing about Salvia in my notebook, stop sharing it on blog - they are telling me my family problems have some kind of role to play but I censor out too much here because I try to put up a perfect image of myself trying to act as if I am gaining some spiritual perfection and thus block out important details - things that could help me personally in my life and a way to gain clearer perspective. In plain English, they're telling me that I'm a huge 'show-off' at least on this blog and I need to get over myself. I try to deny it but I guess I've never been good at lying but I have to admit I never did start this blog to show off. I actually ended up making this blog private for a long time before I shared the newer writings - simply because I don't like any kind of attention. I am by nature a very private person and so suddenly being revealed that I was actually the complete opposite was a blow to the head.
They keep telling me to look out the window. Twice I get up agitated - I don't see anything, I saw the moon before I took the Salvia but it obviously seems now to be hiding behind clouds.
Third time they insist I look again but I have to look for a while. I open blinds and say 'Alright, what is it? I don't see anything other than clouds.' Then I see, I see a man - a man shaped, contoured by the clouds. I say 'Okay, it's a plump looking man in the sky holding something - BIG DEAL!" I look away and return to the bed only to be back at the window within seconds staring at the sky. A man in the clouds?! and now I'm looking at a gigantic face - the two eyes pretty obvious. This has always been so in the consensus reality, that the energies are in the sky and they form into their respective shapes that if the human eye were to see it would make absolute sense. I'm thinking do they control the weather? when it's raining are they crying? Deep down I seem to have the answers but it is now a matter of remembering or learning - I'm not sure which.
I get in bed relax and think about the entire experience - beings and I we're all still astir. I can go deeper but decide to get up and write about this asap - getting up still under Salvia effect. I could see light structures still a little different - beings carefully putting all into it's usual space. One last moment I take a good look around and tell the Beings not to tell the man I met earlier today (meaning his being, higher self or whatever) that he got me sexually revved up - I feel fragile and I know in this state news travels faster than the speed of light.
I initially planned not to post Change is Good News and More Earth Changes for fear of appearing to be a quack as if I haven't already done a good job of that and just saved as draft ready for delete button. Now I feel the need to share those writings. It seems I do withhold a lot, I am so ego-centric honestly I had no idea.
Salvia woke me up good this time:
I was clearing out drawer - saw empty bags of salvia but two had quite a bit of salvia crumbles - ordered some fresh batch so was going to experiment with Salvia again. These crumbles decided to use up, soaked and during soak I was thinking a lot about someone who has helped to get me sexually charged up today and I did not want this Salvia trip to be about him, bcoz others energies especially if you're thinking about them gets mixed up easily in the experience.
Anyways, it would appear he was the least of my problems. I chewed third ball (crumbly) and there was a male like character in my batch of chewed up Salvia - it was looking at me and I said 'What you looking at?' and spat the next ball on top of it LOL!
I am sitting on bed chewing, as I go under I tell them (beings who are stirring) how I should make a movie about what the effects are like and I make sure to inform them that I will not be in it but it will be about what Salvia does - a direct experience - I could so imagine it as a blockbuster hit.
Salvia is waking me up fast this time on so little of it. I want to lie back and go with the flow. The beings all around are stirring me up - conversing with me wanting to tell me something when suddenly phone rings - it's my sister I was thinking how she would be the one person to really interfere. The beings are sort of silently laughing - I think they set me up but I am too absorbed in my issues to take notice. I silence the phone then in the house another sis calls me with this annoying sister I have who is now on the other line - I screamed back that I'll call her. She shouts back saying it's alright sis wanted to just check what was for dinner. To make things worse my phone beeped and I got a message saying 'It's alright just decided to eat out now' - I felt like screaming but suppressed it, I think it is just poison in the body now. Weirdly it felt like she was tormenting me - somehow like she must know what I'm up to.
My anger was profound to say the least - I looked at all the other beings around and told them 'WTF! can you do something about them? F***ing Hell they should be out of my life already'. The whole time I'm getting angry I'm thinking there's no way I'm gonna write about this on the blog - it seems to be just about my stupid sisters.
The beings are telling me (NVC) to start writing about Salvia in my notebook, stop sharing it on blog - they are telling me my family problems have some kind of role to play but I censor out too much here because I try to put up a perfect image of myself trying to act as if I am gaining some spiritual perfection and thus block out important details - things that could help me personally in my life and a way to gain clearer perspective. In plain English, they're telling me that I'm a huge 'show-off' at least on this blog and I need to get over myself. I try to deny it but I guess I've never been good at lying but I have to admit I never did start this blog to show off. I actually ended up making this blog private for a long time before I shared the newer writings - simply because I don't like any kind of attention. I am by nature a very private person and so suddenly being revealed that I was actually the complete opposite was a blow to the head.
They keep telling me to look out the window. Twice I get up agitated - I don't see anything, I saw the moon before I took the Salvia but it obviously seems now to be hiding behind clouds.
Third time they insist I look again but I have to look for a while. I open blinds and say 'Alright, what is it? I don't see anything other than clouds.' Then I see, I see a man - a man shaped, contoured by the clouds. I say 'Okay, it's a plump looking man in the sky holding something - BIG DEAL!" I look away and return to the bed only to be back at the window within seconds staring at the sky. A man in the clouds?! and now I'm looking at a gigantic face - the two eyes pretty obvious. This has always been so in the consensus reality, that the energies are in the sky and they form into their respective shapes that if the human eye were to see it would make absolute sense. I'm thinking do they control the weather? when it's raining are they crying? Deep down I seem to have the answers but it is now a matter of remembering or learning - I'm not sure which.
I get in bed relax and think about the entire experience - beings and I we're all still astir. I can go deeper but decide to get up and write about this asap - getting up still under Salvia effect. I could see light structures still a little different - beings carefully putting all into it's usual space. One last moment I take a good look around and tell the Beings not to tell the man I met earlier today (meaning his being, higher self or whatever) that he got me sexually revved up - I feel fragile and I know in this state news travels faster than the speed of light.
I initially planned not to post Change is Good News and More Earth Changes for fear of appearing to be a quack as if I haven't already done a good job of that and just saved as draft ready for delete button. Now I feel the need to share those writings. It seems I do withhold a lot, I am so ego-centric honestly I had no idea.
Sunday 9 January 2011
Extra Detoxing
Last year was all about getting healthy, shifting diet working out rather slowly but surely what fits in with me and I have made some very drastic shifts. I even made a 'New Years Resolution' brain storm which if I get the chance I'll scan and post - there is so much on the list, including things that I have already started.
This year whilst I'm still working out the diet, still needing to take bigger steps I think some detox is in order. There are so many detox, so much to choose from - I read about all the benefits and feel like doing them all one program at a time.
For the meantime what I am using are only the most simplest of methods. I am particularly drawn to ayurvedic treatments - right now I'm using oil pulling for detox and so far I have become incredibly sick from it which is apparently a 'healing crisis'. Crushing headache with intense pressures and incredibly phlegmy, also feeling sore throat coming on and oh yeah an extra bowel movement every day - not that you really wanted to know. Honestly after all the online testimonials of this very simple method I just knew it was something I needed to try out. Right now starting out with one oil pull per day but will gradually be practicing twice a day. As for the more beneficial results I will post them after a month or so. So far it's just so easy to do and I hardly notice I'm doing anything because for the 20mins that I do oil pull I keep myself busy with chores.
The jala neti is helping a lot, doing this every day until I feel the need to cut back.
Practicing 5 tibetans almost daily - sometimes I end up slacking.
Need to practice more of the Safeties - such as the recapitulation.
This year whilst I'm still working out the diet, still needing to take bigger steps I think some detox is in order. There are so many detox, so much to choose from - I read about all the benefits and feel like doing them all one program at a time.
For the meantime what I am using are only the most simplest of methods. I am particularly drawn to ayurvedic treatments - right now I'm using oil pulling for detox and so far I have become incredibly sick from it which is apparently a 'healing crisis'. Crushing headache with intense pressures and incredibly phlegmy, also feeling sore throat coming on and oh yeah an extra bowel movement every day - not that you really wanted to know. Honestly after all the online testimonials of this very simple method I just knew it was something I needed to try out. Right now starting out with one oil pull per day but will gradually be practicing twice a day. As for the more beneficial results I will post them after a month or so. So far it's just so easy to do and I hardly notice I'm doing anything because for the 20mins that I do oil pull I keep myself busy with chores.
The jala neti is helping a lot, doing this every day until I feel the need to cut back.
Practicing 5 tibetans almost daily - sometimes I end up slacking.
Need to practice more of the Safeties - such as the recapitulation.
Friday 7 January 2011
Light Eyes
Woke up at 2:45am, fell asleep by 6am though I was not sleepy just focused on breathing to relax, like a natural occuring meditation.
Moments later there is intense energy pumping through soles of feet, ascending through body. I could feel major expansions near reproductive organs. I could feel something like a presence near me. I'm lying down on the front side, turn my head to the right and see a beam of golden light right in front of my eyes, present maybe the entire time at the back of my head. This light is conscious and I feel it has eyes that I can't see staring back at me but can feel the stare.
I gaze into the light a moment longer and then put my head back on the pillow not daring to analyze it - I think it left me confused for some unknown reason.
Moments later there is intense energy pumping through soles of feet, ascending through body. I could feel major expansions near reproductive organs. I could feel something like a presence near me. I'm lying down on the front side, turn my head to the right and see a beam of golden light right in front of my eyes, present maybe the entire time at the back of my head. This light is conscious and I feel it has eyes that I can't see staring back at me but can feel the stare.
I gaze into the light a moment longer and then put my head back on the pillow not daring to analyze it - I think it left me confused for some unknown reason.
Thursday 6 January 2011
More Earth Changes
These aren't predictions, more like calculations of what is likely to occur meaning the formula can change therefore changing the outcomes. So here's what I manage to get:
Lands are going to literally split, creating sections of islands*(earthquakes)
Lands will submerge under water
Major earthquakes and possibly tsunamis in places where they rarely occur (never been recorded)*
Mass reduction in population - through widespread disease*
Floods in cities
*most likely to occur this year
Every little change no matter how subtle or intense has a ripple effect, we can learn to read these ripples therefore calculate what will result from the change.
Lands are going to literally split, creating sections of islands*(earthquakes)
Lands will submerge under water
Major earthquakes and possibly tsunamis in places where they rarely occur (never been recorded)*
Mass reduction in population - through widespread disease*
Floods in cities
*most likely to occur this year
Every little change no matter how subtle or intense has a ripple effect, we can learn to read these ripples therefore calculate what will result from the change.
Change Is Good News
I have been very aware of global news lately, mostly what has caught my attention is the drastic changes in weather, occurrence of earthquakes and floods. It seems the Earth is peaking in its detoxification.
I think many will take on the apocalyptic view of these changes especially after the recent news of mass animal deaths - which does paint a very end of the world kind of scene. This will be the view of those who are resistant to the changes - they will carry with them in these changes a lot of fear and this fear energy will be their fuel and reflect in their individual world. Then there is another view - one that is synonymous to the purpose of the Kundalini energy in the physical human body. I do prefer the latter view but it is not a simple matter of taste, for me it is fact as I see the energy working within me paving the way for a new birth I see the likeness of it on the Earth getting ready for renewal. I'm sure there are plenty of others going through K awakening who can feel that the earth also is going through a K awakening.
The cleansing is happening in all stages - levels that are hard to understand until we view it in its entirety.
Systems will be dying off - the biggest system that has tied down mankind to slavery is going to have its own death. We know this as the monetary system. I think this is one of the feelings that I've been getting which has de-motivated my business plans - any business plan is really money oriented and mine is no different. The economy is going bust and when that happens it is no longer about 'What do I want?' but more about 'What do I need?'. Most of the essential things that we need are free - air, water and mother nature's many gifts.
This brings me back to weather - what happens to the economy of a majorly developed country when it snows for days on end, or there is a major flood? The economy slows down, profit margins become alarmingly low, and many companies end up blaming the freak weather for it. What they don't see is the written word in the changes, they don't hear the voice in the elements - Earth and its many cells are being rewritten. The outcome will be poetry of unimaginable beauty and grace.
I think many will take on the apocalyptic view of these changes especially after the recent news of mass animal deaths - which does paint a very end of the world kind of scene. This will be the view of those who are resistant to the changes - they will carry with them in these changes a lot of fear and this fear energy will be their fuel and reflect in their individual world. Then there is another view - one that is synonymous to the purpose of the Kundalini energy in the physical human body. I do prefer the latter view but it is not a simple matter of taste, for me it is fact as I see the energy working within me paving the way for a new birth I see the likeness of it on the Earth getting ready for renewal. I'm sure there are plenty of others going through K awakening who can feel that the earth also is going through a K awakening.
The cleansing is happening in all stages - levels that are hard to understand until we view it in its entirety.
Systems will be dying off - the biggest system that has tied down mankind to slavery is going to have its own death. We know this as the monetary system. I think this is one of the feelings that I've been getting which has de-motivated my business plans - any business plan is really money oriented and mine is no different. The economy is going bust and when that happens it is no longer about 'What do I want?' but more about 'What do I need?'. Most of the essential things that we need are free - air, water and mother nature's many gifts.
This brings me back to weather - what happens to the economy of a majorly developed country when it snows for days on end, or there is a major flood? The economy slows down, profit margins become alarmingly low, and many companies end up blaming the freak weather for it. What they don't see is the written word in the changes, they don't hear the voice in the elements - Earth and its many cells are being rewritten. The outcome will be poetry of unimaginable beauty and grace.
Tuesday 4 January 2011
Stuck Prana Or Something Else
Hemi-Sync Wave 2 - Intro to F12
At F12 became very conscious of the air that I was breathing in - tangible essence flowing in slowly, smoothly and deeply.
Waiting to exhale - no exhale, just inhalation with long pause and the more inhalation - I could feel an air ball in chest, pulsing. I panic. It is like a stuck feeling, a few times went deeper and got that falling feeling where the body jumps.
Maybe some of the prana met with a blockage, maybe the inhalations was drawing in prana for extreme legnths because it is working on something and I simply should not assume that something is wrong.
At F12 became very conscious of the air that I was breathing in - tangible essence flowing in slowly, smoothly and deeply.
Waiting to exhale - no exhale, just inhalation with long pause and the more inhalation - I could feel an air ball in chest, pulsing. I panic. It is like a stuck feeling, a few times went deeper and got that falling feeling where the body jumps.
Maybe some of the prana met with a blockage, maybe the inhalations was drawing in prana for extreme legnths because it is working on something and I simply should not assume that something is wrong.
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