Changes with Hemi Sync and Emotional Releasing

Yesterday evening after a quick workout I drank about 2 or 3 drops iodine in water and then went to bed. Before listening to hemi sync sleep exploration track I did some major emotional releasing and had that feeling where I just wished a whole lot of good for the entire mankind.

During the sleep exploration track I decided to do the resonant tuning a bit more louder and deeper than usual. Suddenly I heard a strange sound that has never been heard before in the audio just shortly after the RT. I think this change in audio with hemi sync is something that is mentioned in instructions, will need to check this.

My left index finger raised up followed by right finger which is something that has happened in the past.

My breathing stopped but I felt inside I was pumped like a helium balloon. Then a sudden release of this hold of breath - I felt like beings or perhaps energies were being released. I then began to see the movements around closed eyelids as though beings were peering down much like how I encounter beings when taking Salvia. I continued to relax and just let everything take place without reacting. There was a strange feeling that came with this incident.

At some point there was a large bee flying around but I can't recall if it was in one of the dreams.

When I awakened from sleep around 4ish am there was some dreams I couldn't quite recall. I relaxed again and fell asleep easier. At some point in the dark I was still very much awake. I heard the voice of my sister who is actually not in, then the door knock and then heard a few family members staying over talking amongst each other. It felt like I was very much awake in this reality, not at all dream like yet those sounds and things did not actually physically take place.

It felt like some bits of memories were being used to create this particular scene.

When I see any kind of creatures in dreams or visions or even generally I like to look up animal totem meanings.

Here is what is said about the Bee: link

Fertility and the Honey of Life, Accomplishing the Impossible

Bees are the symbol of fertility and sexuality. Its honeycomb, a hexagon, is the symbol of the heart and represents the sweetness of life found within our own heart. It is also the symbol of the sun and all its energies.    The bee reminds us to extract the honey of life and to make our lives fertile (productive) while the sun shines. No matter how great the dream is, there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue our dreams.    If a Bee has shown up in your life, examine your own productivity.  Are you doing all you can to make your life more fertile? Are you busy enough? Are you making time to savor the honey of life and not becoming a workaholic?    The Bee is the symbol of accomplishing the impossible. Aerodynamically, its body is too large for its wings and should not be able to fly. Although now we understand how it does fly (high rate of wing movement), the Bee remains a symbol of accomplishing anything you put your mind to. In Hinduism, the Bee relates to Vishnu, Krishna or Kama, the God of Love. In Egypt, the Bee symbolized royalty. In Greece, it was the symbol of the Eleusinian Mysteries. The Celts associated the Bee with hidden wisdom.

SP experience, Latest Dreams, Body Detox

The Shadow Legs and Morphed Room
Woke up yesterday morning in a somewhat SP kind of state. Suddenly physical legs fly up and connect with shadow black legs. Concerned, I had this feeling of being 'occupied' by another. This other, being or entity was now having any experience I would be having. I was afraid that this other can now control my movement. The feeling is faintly still here as I type. It is not eerie but I just know something is there. After shadow connected with what seemed physical body awareness snapped into room only I knew legs were under duvet so there was no way it sprinted up and I felt perhaps happened was my imagination. It happened one more time and the feeling of a presence nearby was there. Room morphed back and forth.

The Bee /Wasp
This morning had an interesting dream - these interesting dreams are waking me up lately, now I wake around 4-5 am. In the dream I am walking down the stairs and a bee or a wasp lands on my bare leg. My brother is at the bottom of the stairs and I could sense he wants to smack it dead. I raise my arms warning him not to as it would sting me, however I start to sense a sinister vibe coming from him as if his intention is so that it stings me.

I woke up suddenly at 4:30am hearing a loud knock feeling a tad bit scared of the dark. If someone had indeed knocked that loud someone else would also have heard it.
 The other day in physical reality I was in the garden and a yellow jacket landed on my leg. It tickled as it started to wriggle its legs. I stood still mostly because I didn't want to scare it, amazed at the little creature and was astonished that I didn't jump or scream, normally these critters scare the life out of me. Perhaps spending time out in nature and in the garden is making me comfortable around any living creatures.

Detox of Body
I think I am having those anxiety issues again, this is the only way that I can translate these phenomenas (eg. loud knocking, lights etc) whereas before when they first occured it was all rather mystical. However now I see clearly that these phenomenas have to do with body detox, the only evidence I have are anecdotes from those who go through raw food diet and eventually have these mystical experiences. Obviously it eventually happens to others who meditate regularly. I have read of an account regarding involuntary movements, will link to it if I find it. This person had meditated regularly, eventually in one meditation the body started to move involuntarily, sometimes swaying and eventually making specific controlled movements. The person was convinced that the body was healing itself. I too am convinced that this physical body is going through the same process. Some inherent ability where the body itself is awake and functions according to the needs of the body. In my case I am still somewhat stressed out and need to relax. I know deep down I cannot do that unless outwardly I make some changes and the changes that I make are very likely to effect others. Krishnamurti gave importance to the inward transformation, and I wonder can I do that whilst living chaotically outwardly as I am now and be in peace and harmony without changing the outward?

Scorpion Totem Dream

In this dream my parents and I are in a room, my mum tells me she is looking for a really dangerous insect at which point I'm scared because my feet are bare and I know if it crawls my way it's gonna bite.

We're scanning the room until I see something in the distance - I point at it hoping mum would catch it. Holding a dustpan and brush, she chases after the little bugger. I see it more clearly - it's a scorpion and it's crawling closer to me. Surprisingly I don't faint - dream starts to fade here.

The scorpion like the snake is also related to transformation.

Hornet Totem

Past week hornet signs showing up everywhere - today it came to my mind. Was doing some online shopping and tried to remind myself once again to look up hornet totem info and almost completely forgot for a few seconds until I scrolled down amazon page and there was a book on adscroll 'The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest' and then that was it - looked it up. The hornet is a wasp so it would seem whatever applies to wasp also applies to hornets.

Looking up hornets I realized that what I've actually been seeing are yellowjackets.

Three Totems

Animal totems definitely represent some important message in this game called life.

I am just learning to understand these messages and incorporating whatever I learn.

This morning as I woke up a Magpie was on the roof, a wasp got through the window and then I went to the kitchen and a squirrel in the garden caught my eyes.

The Moth Message

In the kitchen I noticed a large moth making its way in through the window. It was really chunky which wasn't too scary. Flying and resting on the wall the moth began to vibrate, which seemed really creepy to me as I don't think ever seen a moth do that. It flew up towards the ceiling and I didn't think much of it after that thinking it wants to get to the light bulb.

I moved to the sink and as I did it landed on my head which made me flinch (and scream). I had a shawl around me and I think as I flicked it the moth landed on the floor, fortunately unharmed.

Here's what I got regarding moth totem:

"The Moth is a totem of ideas, intuition and sensitivity. The wings, bodies, and legs of the moth are covered with numerous touch hairs and is highly sensitive to vibrations. They can feel, smell, taste and determine temperatures with their feathery antennae and have the ability to perceive everything with clarity. Moth people usually have strong psychic and healing abilities.
They must be careful not to pick up other peoples problems and carry them around in their own energy field. If this happens confusion and irritability can set in. The process of metamorphosis is part of the magic the moth holds. The egg stage symbolizes the birth of an idea. The larvae stage indicates the laying of a foundation. The chrysalis stage represents the process of creating, and the winged stage allows it to take flight and explore new territory. When the moth appears in our life it is a message about sensitivity or insensitivity to those around you."

The highlited text describes exactly what I'm going through at the moment. I later apologized to the moth for my fearful reaction and gave my thanks. I am quite astounded that often when the animal or insect totems show up the message coincides with what is going in my life. Now when I do have any insects or animals show up in a special kind of way, meaning it's not just any random bird that flies across the sky - there has to be some kind of interaction and feelings involved. When I do a simple google search often the very first page I view is the one describing exactly what message I am being given.

I wonder though what do I do with the message. I have this tendency that even though I get the message and intuitively know what I'm meant to do, I just leave it. I completely forget about it. For eg. In this case I know I need to let go of other peoples problems - let them grow and sort out their own mess and no longer carry that burden but it something so difficult to just walk away from and it's even worse to stick around and watch them tackle their problems. I'm like the mother who is not giving an opportunity for her children to grow and get independent (in my case it's my siblings and I'm not even the big sis to some of the siblings that need my assistance).

I think my real problem is that I've always been the problem solver, and I've been doing it mostly for my family members that it had become automatic and now I'm just fed up. My eldest sister once about 3 years ago, had a very vivid dream and had to tell me about it because it was so incredibly real. She told me that in this dream there was a panel of people asking her about all us siblings. One by one my sister would describe each sibling until finally I was the last one. Of course she had good things to say about me and according to her it took a longer time. She said how I was always there helping with everyones problems, always available making time for others, kind and helpful. From my sisters tone of voice I could tell that when it came to me in the dream there was some major emotional charge that it even effected me somehow.

That is actually the first time I realized that I was taking on too many of others problems and it was the first time I really thought about it otherwise I would never have given it a single thought. But I left it as it was did nothing about it. I think now most of my frustration comes from the fact that I have an inability to let others who are in the middle of certain problems to learn to deal with it themselves. I need to stand my ground somehow and get my head around this one. I know that this is also what holds me back from focusing attention and giving my energy to my dreams and aspirations in life. I need to take some initiative in this for the sake of my mental clarity.

Fear of Wasps and The Snake

In the recent days since the summer heat has been breaking out I have had wasps come in through the open window, inducing my already crazy fear regarding wasps.

This fear of wasps goes a few years back, though I've always been afraid of these buzzing buggers my fear actually amplified when I got stung which was my fault I think. I had a really uncomfortable reaction to the sting, it is quite possible that most of it was psychological.

Anyways this morning I dreamt that several wasps were flying in through a window in unfamiliar room. Of course I panic in the same way I would if it were happening in reality. Suddenly I see a snake, I think it was white with a bit of black patches. I am suprisingly relieved by the presence of this creature. I am especially relieved when the snake begins eating the wasps.

As I did a search on these totems, I found something in relation to the snake which seemed to correlate with the dream.

Snake
The power of snake medicine is the power of creation.
It is the knowledge that all things are equal
in creation, and that those things which might
be experenced as poison can be eaten, ingested,
integrated, transmuted if one has the proper state of mind.

http://www.uc2enter.com/animalomens.html

Scorpio & Lesson

Scorpio
There is a weird looking large bug flying about, it lands on my eldest sister. She panics and tries to slap it off her dress. As it lands on the ground I realize it's a scorpio. Someone is picking it up and I feel like I am about to faint. Scorpion Totem

Lesson
I'm in a classroom set outdoors, we are standing on dirt. We are learning about an animal which I can't recall right now. Teacher asks questions.

"Where does this animal live?"

I make wild guesses and shout out "Under the ground". I got it right, I am so excited I love this game.

"What are the reasons for living under the ground?" There are others making several guesses until finally I shout out "Food". I am right once again.

"What is another reason why it lives under the ground?" I thought it through and realized that this creature lives under the ground hiding. I knew this was the answer but thought deeply about it. Why would it hide under the ground? From what or whom was it hiding from? At this stage the teacher was focused on me as though he knew I was on to something. Before I could figure it out I woke up.

This past week I have been waking up at the exact time every morning at 6:27am with heavy feeling in head and in a groggy state whether I sleep early or very late seems to make no difference.

Animal Totems

Initially when I first heard about animal totems I had very little interest in them, but now they seem to be popping up everywhere, in dreams, SP episodes and in waking life.

On one occasion I noticed a squirrel nibbling a hazelnut it looked adorable but I didn't think much of it until I began seeing it repeatedly for several days in the exact same spot. Finally I was compelled to read up on animal totems and the meaning of the squirrel.

Yesterday afternoon in the kitchen on the outside frame of the window was a spider on its web, it was attacking a type of beetle that had two yellow spots sticking out on either end (later learned that it was a yellow shouldered ladybug). By attack I mean it was wrapping its web around the poor bugger.

Within seconds I had an entire swarm of red ladybugs concealing the window - it was kind of scary. I had to close the window to stop them from getting in, just one had got in. I know ladybugs are harmless but when there are that many you can't help but think what they are capable of and they were multiplying. At the same time the entire scene was fascinating.

I have been reading up on the meaning of these - there is a wealth of information online regarding animal totems, so much that it's hard to figure out how it fits with you personally.

I think the red ladybugs have something to do with the root chakra, the past few days I have been experiencing thumping sensation in that area. The spider also probably has some significance.

This morning after a series of dreams where I had a negative attitude I woke up. I began reflecting on the dreams realizing maybe I do need to change my attitude with certain people. Fell asleep and had a dream where my mood changed positively. I was in the woodlands, it's winter and icy cold though I didn't feel it. I noticed a pale blue bird on a tree branch. As it flew about I reached out my left arm signalling it to come forth. It rested on my hand and there was a warm feeling of joy emanating from within me. I felt both playful and at peace. I can't seem to identify this bird - I'm sure it wasn't a blue bird. It was the size of a sparrow, only it looked really chubby and was pale blue all over.

SP Presence and The Black Bird

Lately instead of APing I seem to be experiencing a lot of SP episodes. This morning during SP I felt like there was someone in the room and in a matter of urgency I willed myself to snap out, because I really felt this presence was physical and intruding. Of course upon regaining full control of my physical apparatus there was nobody next to my door where I had assumed someone was standing watching me.

In another SP I experienced about two days ago there was a black bird on my neighbours roof. It was either a raven or a crow - honestly I can't tell the difference between these two birds. The bird then flew to my open window and landed on the frame. It stared at me intently, I felt like I was the meal of the day. The slats of the blinds were open, it put its head between the slat shimmying through. I panicked and snapped out of the SP.

In another SP which occured last week there was what looked like a seahorse but not quite. It came through my window in a similar way as the raven only I didn't feel panic. To the contrary I was delighted to see it, the creature rested on my right arm and I was able to feel the sensation as if it were occuring on a physical level though I was paralysed. I felt affection for it in the same way one does for a pet.

The Eagle Dream

I had a very intriguing eagle dream this morning that seemed to have left a great impression on my mind as I woke up.

My two younger sisters and a cousin are messing around with some of their perfumes in my bedroom. My cousin is holding a perfume bag and reads the inscription 'Use with any other perfume'. She begins to say how she was right as she had kept going on about this particular perfume and how it needed to be used with another perfume.

I wondered at this particular point whether she has any idea why it needs to be used with another perfume so I begin to explain. I tell her it's an enhancer, that the perfume in that bottle is odourless and when you use that and then apply another perfume it enrichens the smell and keeps it lasting longer. Now - in reality I've never heard of a perfume enhancer or know whether such a thing exists.

She seems to be at a lost how I have more knowledge about this perfume than she does since I absolutely hate perfumes. I begin to wonder myself and I think at this point I almost woke up within the dream.

They start spraying several kinds of perfumes all over and before it hits my sense of smell I go open the window. As I open it there is a great eagle, the most gigantic bird I've ever seen make it's way in my direction looking straight at me. At first I'm in awe but panic as it gets closer and quickly close the window. It turns and flies through the window of my home office. Now I panic even more and make my sisters and cousin panic because it's in my house. I grab the phone and wonder who I'm supposed to call, the RSPCA, the police maybe.

Upon reflecting on this dream I realize it is highly symbolic of something and I've been looking up on eagles in terms of spirituality. Discovered that in Shamanism the eagle totem represents spiritual healing among other things.

Article on the eagle totem
More on animal totems