Tuesday, 5 March 2019

An update on twin flame journey and life stuff

I very rarely get time to do a post unless it's a long list of dreams which I am just uploading as draft for the time being and I really wanted to do the whole dream interpretation but this has also been impossible because of all the extra to do list on my daily agenda.

I was thinking recently and also mentioned this to others how life seems more hectic even though we have automation and technology taking over most aspects of peoples lives. I've never been outside on a bus or other public transport without people hypnotised by their phones, I just cannot remember a day like that. Maybe from my youth and that's it. To be honest, even on the streets! This might sound cruel but I always expect someone to bump into a lamp post.

What a strange world this is becoming indeed....

My twin flame is a very hardworker, as am I and so we don't see each other as often as we'd like but communication is still there. Despite not having that much physical contact there are some other unusual happenings.

I have been prying into some of his interests and recently found a song he liked which reminded me of a copy of a song I had heard growing up, and I really enjoyed listening to. I get the number signs a lot. Other signs include him saying a particular word which I was thinking about only an hour earlier, this is the whole telepathy thing.

It's crazy! Even for me, someone who is well versed in crazy. This is something that I am still digesting but enjoying at the same time.

My recent focus has been on my work which is nutritional therapy and a lot of the times it helps me understand more and more how we are like machines, like robots that have become or perhaps in the becoming process of being self aware.

If you look at that robot Sofia, kind of like her, except we have a unique awareness which I'm not sure could happen to robots... or maybe it could? After all there are days when fishes fall from the sky.

As a human race it would seem we have come very far. I mean we know how to clone, stem cell therapy, and now robots that are cleverer than humans. Then you read the news and you follow what's happening in the world. Or you try to avoid the news but it catches up with you through other people and you just know that something has gone amiss, something has surely gone wrong...

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Twin Flame Song

I'm compiling a list of songs that describes or carries the essence of twin flames. I think the following song is so accurate of the feelings and awareness pertaining to the twin flame connection.

I'm still just wrapping my mind around the twin flame concept. A part of me really believes it as I'm experiencing all the signs but a part of me is being cautious.

Saturday, 19 January 2019

2019 Update

It's been quite difficult to keep up with this blog since I have been very busy lately however I have so much content currently in draft. I just haven't had the time to go through it all to post only what's relevant. For now some brief updates.

Dreams have always been fascinating and lately I have been aware of a lot of dream time. I try to make note of it as much as I can. Interpreting dreams will take time so unable to do much of this. I have so far had 4 dreams about my twin flame and crazy unbelievable synchronicities.

I think I'm sleeping better thanks to using magnesium oil spray which is helping me dream more.

I'm having weird health issues, hormone changes, joint muscle pain and weakness in bones. Problems with head eyes etc, new sensations. I'm trying to get healthier.

I have used salvia div only a few times with some significant insights. Imagine just staring around and seeing beings embedded in your environment knowing and sensing they have always been there playing along with your life as if it was all make believe. Our surrounding is just as conscious as you are. When you wake up so do they, by wake I mean being in that altered state of mind which I believe is actually our main state of mind. The ordinary waking consciousness, the one you're using to read these words and form an understanding is actually the altered state and when we wake up to the truth of our own being we can see that and only then we can fully fathom reality.

I've been meaning to be using hemisync but again too occupied to be consistent.

Tuesday, 16 October 2018

Real Life Meeting With My Twin Flame Experience

I have mentioned on this blog around the same time last year about dreams connected with twin flame which you can read here and here

There was no doubt in the dream that it had left a massive impact on me. My love life has been pretty non existent although I have been dating in the last several years which has really helped me learn some very important life lessons.

I have recently met someone who so far really has remained a mystery yet I feel like I know him. It takes time for me to trust a person, it once took me a year just to date someone from online dating since that place is really scary and daunting. With this guy there is this ease, comfort and trust that I had instantly. I'm picking up on his various kinks which is happening rather subconsciously meaning doing stuff as if he sent to me through some kind of ESP connection.

I also have all the Twin Flames symptoms and it is mad because this is something I have heard about before but never thought could be true or that it would ever be applicable to me. It's interesting because this year has been a really turbulent year for me. Some have been positive changes but major releasing, a time of purging all that was perhaps holding me back. In his life he is also going through some transformation, major changes which took him a long time to get to. I also feel he is healing but is unleashing a dark side in the process.

One aspect of the Twin Flames connection is the transformation that comes when Twin Flames unite and this is pretty apparent in my case. I am already noticing. A part of me really second guessing that he could be my Twin Flame so this morning I asked God, Universe to give me answers, to let me know and understand if indeed I am dealing with my Twin Flame.

Lo and behold, he entered my dream this morning. I have had dreams about a partner before and incidentally I got a text message from both him and my assumed Twin Flame at the same time after waking up from the dream which is making me scratch my head. I will be sharing and hopefully decipher the dream in another post soon.

Saturday, 15 September 2018

Pregnenolone and progesterone dreams

Lately I have been occupied with fixing my hormones which unfortunately has been out of whack for a few months now (menstrual migraines etc).

These two particular hormones are helping to recall dreams. I have read somewhere that even men can benefit from adding progesterone but not entirely sure about this.

Progesterone is causing a heightened sense of smell and I'm aware the same happens to women in their pregnancy which is because of the increase in progesterone.

My menstrual migraines have been so bad I end up sleeping a whole day at a time when it occurs, sometimes accompanied by nausea. I have even had out of body experiences during these bouts of sleep.

Recently dreamed about rats and in another dream I dreamed about spiders and mice running about. In reality I have seen two rats which was absolutely cringeworthy. Not a fan of rats. I dreamt of a white rat running about up and down the stairs whilst I am screaming. Suddenly it comes up to me and tries to bite my finger.

Other dreams are quite psychic. Dreamed about cleaning oven and nieces birthday cake, woke up completely forgetting until my sister told me she put oven on self clean mode and need to prepare for niece's birthday. Another dream about sister losing money, also came true. I really should start writing in a dream diary but is terribly time consuming.

Saturday, 7 July 2018

Sleep Vs Dreams

Sleep has been a little tricky. Insomnia got really bad upon taking zinc, sticking to one a day. Now I have restarted iodine protocol and I am sleeping much better with significant improvement in sleep quality.

I am taking so many vitamins and minerals it is really hard to tell how everything is interacting with each other. For the time being may have to just stick with the iodine protocol and co factors. My dreams have changed dramatically. I am only recalling dreams with very little fragments. Recall is bad.

Dreaming isn't necessary but I miss having those fun entertaining, thriller dreams. I do not even care to have lucid dreams as long as I have those long vivid cinema worthy dreams, all is good.

Salvia Divinorum Defining Sexual Energy and The Way To Forgiveness

I chew the leaves afternoon. Heatwave.

The surroundings transform but only slightly, something in the brain has changed that my experiences are very different in quality. I would  not as visually as powerful as it has been previously except the insights are still powerful. In fact the insights are a lot stronger. Lots of knowings.

I am thinking on my abuser and what to do about my situation. Confrontation seems important at this time in my life and the opportunity is there. I am suddenly aware of why people have sex. An orgasm as an example, carries a great deal of information. It creates a blissful state but only lasts a moment. Another high. But so momentary, can only grasp for a moment.

The physical biological process is in alignment with an emotional process. When two people are procreating each partner is sending forth various energies, in thought patterns etc to create another living human being. There is something about this energy and I am now revisiting my first brush with the kundalini energy.

The sexual flow unlike anything I experienced my entire life. It wasn't like an arousal. I recall the voice, whose voice is it I still wonder. It told me to stay still and I listened. That was many years ago and only recently this year again the voice made it self audible in my ears. I'm not sure if it is the same exact voice but again it told me to stay still only this time warning me that my body will be destroyed perhaps due to damaged nervous system. I wrote about this here.

I think it's possible that during my abuse as a child I disassociated from my body. Probably the only way I was able to stay sane for at least a decade after the incident. From a more scientific perspective I remained unconscious but my brain continued to record the experience and then store it somewhere to revisit when necessary. Only in my teens did I get the flashback and it created a massive disturbance. When we ask for questions or ponder something our brain or mind looks for the answer, kind of like a personal google search engine.

I have done some reading on other people that were propelled into a kundalini awakening due to childhood trauma. During the sexual abuse as a child I think the person has left a part of something from his energetic field into mine and vice versa. Whilst his was given to me, mine was taken. I don't know if I'm even making any sense now but those who have been abused will say they feel as if something was taken from them. Innocence perhaps?

I know in my case the trauma paved the way for my future kundalini awakening.

I'm aware the entire time during this salvia session of all the energies around me. I am going into that same space where I always end up. That central part that I seem to refuse to accept - that I created my reality. I should take solace in the fact that I can then direct it in any way I like.

Unfortunately my mind is in such a state that I'm in victim mode, not a good place to give directions. I'm being told now to forgive, that for my own peace of mind I need to forgive. I have read about another woman and her kundalini awakening who had to relive a childhood trauma in order to release it and forgive her perpetrator.

I have decided to forgive and I confirm with the energies present at that moment I will forgive only if the perpetrator asks for forgiveness. I have also been thinking how I won't get a confession out of this person so I have set up something for him to say and if he has a hard time saying it then I'll know. I have already seen the many clues and signs throughout my life that confirms the rather unfortunate memory I buried a long time ago.

I'm actually shocked at myself that it has taken me 30 years to revolt and take action but it makes sense from the perspective of how much I have grown up from that frightened little girl to a mature woman who knows how to defend herself.

I hate reading about other people who talk about these trauma being some kind of way we repay our karmic debts or how it heightens our spiritually because as a victim I beg to ask the question Why? Why, God? Why put me through this shit? Then I read about other spiritual mumbo jumbo shit people spout about how we agreed to it and made a contract and so and so...Almost as if we are willing to tell ourselves anything just to feel good about ourselves.

I have clearly been angry but I know I cannot remain in anger for too long, it cripples me. I'm in that space now where I would like to move on. For the time being I am working on my memories to try to retrieve it fully.