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Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Out of Body Meeting My Children

I woke up 2am unable to sleep (my fault since I was researching for work). Insomnia probably induced by various factors such as staying late night on the phone and recently quitting the nictotine.

By 5am I attempted to sleep and managed to relax instantly. I began to feel my arms floating and can see my hands. High sexual energy at play. Soon I'm spinning, a familiar sign that I'm about to do some astral traveling / out of body traveling. I can still feel my physical eyes and I know that just thinking to open them will snap me out of this spell. I end up near my window and begin to sink another familiar sign.

I see the garden and buildings that seem so different to me and suddenly once again I'm back in bed, arms floating and high sexual energy.

Once again, round and round I go. Out the window sinking. I am standing near my window awe struck with how realistic it all seems. I open the window where there is a white plastic like frame. As I lift it open this starts to feel floppy like it has moved out of place and then I realize just how different this window is to my actual window. I look outside, the structure of this area is similar to how it is in reality but something very different. There is a clothing hanging line in a narrow pathway of the garden but it is strangely high up. On this line I see 4 similar traditional (asian indian) ethnic outfits (familiar). 3 in dark blue color with gold patterns and one that is black with gold patterns. They look outdated.

I look in the mirror and see an image of myself, I think there was some major difference. Really brown hair but I cannot recall whether I felt it was me. 

I do wonder what year it is and if I am indeed in the same place as my house from reality. I turn to look at the room. Most of my furniture are not there but same carpet. It looks like it is night time with the lights on. Going to the door there is a lock that looks like something that would be used in a bathroom. I open the thinking that this will end because I just can't believe how real it all seems now. I walk out the door into the hallway (feels familiar looks close enough to my cousins home). I see the same carpet I have at home on a flight of stairs going up to a third floor (no third floor in reality). Part of the carpet is missing, seems home is being renovated.

I walk down to another landing and see an area that has wooden elements, I pass this area into a large room. On the floor there are two girls sitting beside a woman. She seems like a private teacher. The girls perhaps aged 3 and 4 look at me. They are distracted with my presence. I have a slight feeling that these girls are my children whoever I happen to be in this scene. I have this feeling that I know they need to study so I turn away and mostly because I am excited to see the rest of the house and investigate further.

Running down the stairs to the ground floor I see a toddler moving about, a boy I think. I walk inside a room where I see another girl aged 5 or 6. I realize this explains the outfits I saw hanging on clothing line. The girls all looked Turkish but something interesting about their hair, it looked like they had streaks of highlights. This girl seems to instantly recognize me "Mum, come here..Mum come, come here..." She repeatedly asks me to come closer gesturing with her hands wanting me to see something. At this point I'm a little perplexed and a million thoughts rush into my mind. I can't be your mum, I planned to never have kids. Is this the future? Where am I? Who am I? Maybe I should just go and check out the rest of the building, oh yeah and the garden. Maybe I have a partner, I should go check...

And just as I turn around I am back in my body, open my eyes and feel an odd sensation rushing upwards in the brain. Like hot warm air and I am left wondering the significance of this experience and how very different it was in comparison to past OBEs / Astral Travels.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Nicotine Detox Dreams and Twin Flame Meeting

Nicotine has definitely improved recall of dreams and since I stopped it (almost a week now) I'm still having pretty good dream recall. I've dreamed so much that I should really post these individually at least for future reference should I wish to try nicotine again. In this dream I had written about a stranger singing to me after and this dream I kept having strange feelings about missing this person and feeling like this person is very significant and potentially very real.

I wasn't sure what it was about this guy that left a massive impression on my daily life afterwards. I have only briefly read about twin flames a long time ago and brushed it off as something purely based on people hopelessly in love. I started reading about twin flames and in most places on the net it is mentioned that twin flames can enter dreams.

I then researched how to know you've met your twin flame. Usually one of the key signs is eye contact and both parties are usually glued to each other with the feeling of familiarity. It is supposed to be very intense, in my case I was sort of dazed not sure parts of my brain were even operating. I was mostly just absorbing the experience. Another sign is the kiss, and in this instance I would have to say it was definitely the kiss or more importantly the feeling that the kiss induced. Something I cannot even begin to compare with. It was actually magical, and just like how I felt in the dream it was like coming alive.

Was this my twin flame? Well, a  part of me for a good number of days since that dream has been utterly convinced that there's something about my dream man and I have been pondering it but then another part of me (the serious and analytical part) is thinking this could be a result of a number of bad relationships in the past and I'm just feeling really hopeful. On the night after the dream I asked for my twin flame to show up in dreamscape, instead what I got was one of the bad relationships showing up being very angry with me.

I didn't think much of it, the third night I asked once again for twin flame to show up but again I dreamed about the bad relationship being more angry with me than previously. This is when I really seriously tried to interpret all these dreams. My current interpretation is that maybe my twin flame is trying to break through but my connection with bad relationship needs to be disconnected as I am still in communication with this person. I wonder perhaps we are all psychically connected which isn't too far fetched considering I'm convinced I met God.

Dreams have continued, no bad relationship or twin flame showing up. I had one dream about the future. There is a chip that you can implant and it can program you to stop smoking - LOL
I also had one of those realistic real aware type dreams where I'm in bed and my limbs are floating lifting rising. I cannot see my limbs but I feel them.

Currently detoxing and experiencing some of the most horrendous withdrawal symptoms. I used exactly 24 lozenges (each at 2mg) and 7mg from a patch in a period of approx 28 days.

Nicotine has helped me when I first started it especially for razor sharp focus to work on an online store, but at the same time I was taking it under a lot of stress so was eating very poorly and I have been experiencing some of the withdrawals symptoms in the last week of use.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Nicotine Dream Of Man Singing Tragic Love Song

This dream is very familiar, similar to the dream I had about an old man singing a narrative song. I'll share link of that dream soon (when I find it). Last night I had half a nicotine lozenge (1mg). I also managed to get a few minor scrapes around my arms and hands moving boxes about and ended up using iodine to treat these. Iodine in the past has induced vivid dreams via painting on skin and ingesting.

In this dream I am an actress performing some act and having conversations with actresses I am familiar with. The scene changes where I'm watching a woman in a short white dress on a gloomy day with rain showers, dancing and singing but can't recall the words.

Soon enough my perspective changes where I am blending into her and entering a different scene. There is a man standing in front of me introducing himself by singing. The narrative is very interesting and as he sings it to me I seem to be re-living the scenes. Through the song I visualize him in love with his black car, to him it was a beauty. He adored and admired it because it was his own work of art. I see him literally stroking his car lol. Then he tells me about his friend who had tampered with his car because of his love for me or the character I had assumed. She had been jealous for a really long time which he did not realize. I begin to picture the scene he is singing about until we are both actually there, in the car, both of us inside. Car swerves and crashes.

There was regret in his voice revealing that he wished things did not turn out that way. At the same time he was trying to convince me of something. I am jogging through my memory (dream memories?) where I recall not receiving the kind of attention I am in that present moment. He comes closer to me and begins to kiss the base of my neck, instantly I feel a strip of my body coming to life, it was illuminated. It was almost as if that entire time I was actually invisible and only beginning to form a body with the kiss. Another kiss and another strip of the body illuminating. There were romantic feelings involved and soon enough I woke up, immediately registering entire dream sequence.

The nicotine is causing some insomnia, I've been on the phone browsing before falling asleep, also I'm not using the blindfold which helped previously. For the nicotine only some nights I plan to use the patches with iodine painting.

At this point in my life I'm going through some changes but nothing major or tumultuous, keeping an eye out on my dreaming to see what they reveal.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Nicotine Patch Experiment for Dreams

I am going to use lozenges only during night time as during the day I seem to be developing a dependency.

Last night I used the nicotine patch. It's the highest dose 21mg and may not have been right for me, not sure yet as I am only using for the first phase of sleep as opposed to throughout the day. I have definitely been dreaming more. I don't think nicotine increases dreams rather it helps to store the dreams in the memory bank for a longer duration so that upon waking recall is easier. In fact my wake up is almost like a quick transition between dream and reality. Whereas prior to nicotine use this rarely happened. I would really have to think through to recall dream events.

Unfortunately the dreams are pretty boring, they represent daily ordinary life in different settings. I only once dreamed of people I don't know since using nicotine.

I used the nicotine patch and listened to opening the heart track (hemisync) which usually helps me to sleep.
The dreams after using the nicotine patch were very clear and vivid, very life like and I was around people I know. Dreamed about harvesting in garden, lots of veg especially eggplants hanging off vines (I think egg plants don't grow on vines). Interestingly eggplants contain nicotine which I already knew when doing my research into nicotine.

I woke up around 3:30am and took the patch off. The nicotine was on my arm for a total of 5 hours, I'm sure any longer and I would have thrown up. High amounts are toxic especially for someone who does not smoke. It was still dark I should have nodded off but insomnia was difficult to deal with. It was only at 6am I decided to have 1mg of nicotine and relaxed. Then some more vivid dreaming, this time I think I accessed some childhood memory or my mind was recreating a scene that I may identify as my childhood.

I am going to write up the dreams some other time which are pretty boring but may have some significance to me if I can decipher them.

For now all I can report is there is definitely a difference in the ability to recall dreams using nicotine. For me this works if I use the nicotine before bed. Patches do not make me feel as sleepy as the lozenges possibly because patches are slowly released over time and require up to 24 hours to effectively release the 21mg.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Nicotine dreams update

I am still taking the nicotine lozenges, sometimes I've had around 1mg during day at moments when I feel I need something to relieve anxiety, seems to work.

I've been taking 1mg before sleeping and then once I wake up in the middle of the night another 1mg. Dreams are very vivid. This morning I woke up from a really upsetting (made me cry in dream and sad once awake). Again related to real life. In the dream my sister was suffering some kind of trauma, I tried to calm her and then myself trying to figure out what happened to her. This was kind of like a nightmare, a very emotional one.

Other dreams seem to be about Sil, someone I have a hard time getting along with in reality. In the dream we seem to be getting along. I am dreaming about Sil nearly everyday. Maybe I should use this as my dream cue.

I've also dreamed about my cat who died years ago. 

The dreams are very consistent and they make sense. Nothing strange and unfortunately nothing entertaining.

So far I don't believe I have been lucid, just good dream recall. I'm using small dose and amazed at the progress and recall ability, will be trying the nicotine patches soon.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Nicotine Dreams

I haven't smoked a cigarette in so many years but had the habit as a teenager and young adult. I needed at least one a day. Eventually stopped in my 20s when it was just no longer worth the coughing that would follow.

Just recently I've been observing during hot weather people smoking heavily, it is quite odd. Out in the streets it's like being inside a chimney. The smell of smoke is not exactly pleasant and I try to not get annoyed with smokers. I can usually smell tobacco from my neighbours garden or if family use in the garden and immediately close the window because I now try to be as kind to my lungs as possible. Second hand smoking is a real annoyance especially after years of successfully quitting.

After doing some research into tobacco I have found that the nicotine in tobacco can be helpful especially for enhancing cognitive function and improving memory. I went to my local shop for some lozenges or gums to start an experiment with nicotine.

As I scanned the shelf another woman stood next to me. She began to scan the shelf and quickly grabbed more than 10 boxes. She was kind enough to heed to my request of leaving two for me. My first use of the lozenge was not at all pleasant. Immediately I felt a slight tightening in the throat, too much nicotine in one go, 2mg to be exact.

I did feel different once at least 1 mg dissolved but nothing quite like a true smoke. So the past week I have been taking about 2mg per day splitting each lozenge in two and taking each piece morning and evening.

I noticed that I prefer the effect of nicotine in the evening, really paves the way for a relaxed mind for deeper sleep. The dreams however have been anything but relaxing. They are vivid and have a lot more details or I am recalling them more accurately. Some dreams have a very prophetic insightfulness to them. They are not too bad or nightmarish and are related to current life and people. Upon waking up I clearly remember all the details however I cannot recall them during the day. Another thing that I have noticed I am able to wake early and once again return to sleep if I wanted to.

Unfortunately the lozenges contain other ingredients that I would like to avoid ingesting. Next time I'll try nicotine patches to avoid the additives and cut it up to reduce the dose to avoid nausea.

Here's two interesting article about nicotine and it's effect on dreams
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/avn39p/nicotine-dreaming 
https://www.gwern.net/docs/nootropics/2003-page.pdf

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Salvia Insights of Bird planes, Memory loss and mutated DNA

I went to the park without planning my intentions. I actually needed to get away from home, from family gathering, pretty hectic time.

I just randomly thought I'll take some soaked salvia. When I got to one hill, where I once used the salvia I just sat there for the longest time. Snacked a little not feeling yet I was ready to take the salvia. This part there's lots of people walking and running so I would not get the privacy I needed.
It was really windy. There were clusters of dense clouds, at times when the cloud would move away from the sun I would look at the hill, the light starts at one point and slides up the hill like an opening curtain.

The birds started to gather on the bottom of the hill. Ravens or crows.

Watching the birds flying, they seemed to enjoy the high winds. I watched and observed one only lightly flapping its wing and then allowing the wind to glide it. Almost like a kite (I did later on also watch a kite in the air).

I was eating some bread and gave some to the birds and then thought about just getting some more from the shops for the birds and hopefully by the time I was back it would be less windy.

It was less windy. I found that the hill was occupied so I went to another spot. Much better and more privacy, at least I hoped nobody would bother me. It's not easy going to the park without getting some kind of unwanted attention. I think it is for this reason my paranoia seems to increase when taking salvia in the park.

Finally when I knew the weather was warming up and the winds had calmed down I swooshed mouth with some vodka and then chewed about 1 1/2 tablespoons of salvia (it was crumbled and soaked).

About 5 minutes and I felt that nothing was happening, maybe because the salvia was soaked for several hours. I observed everything around me, the birds were croaking and I fell into a kind of reverie. I watched the birds and a helicopter pass by. A long time ago maybe when the dinosaurs were around or a time before that. There were large birds able to carry people on board, but as the scientific mind began to evolve all these birds were taken apart until they became extinct. Such a long time ago that we would not even hear it about it in this day and age because for one; even if bones were found it cannot be known that their main function was to carry humans.

Helicopters and planes are a replication of these creatures. I'm not making this up, this information came to me under the influence of salvia. It would seem that a lot of technology is a replication of technology that already exists and as humans we are simply replacing these technologies with artificial and inefficient versions.

In one moment I glanced across and the thought came into my head about Jesus. I remember reading somewhere (can't remember if it was the bible), Jesus said to his disciples to bring various herbs and place it near his body. God used the functions of these herbs to restore the body of Jesus. Who else would know other than the One who made the earth and the sky by what mechanism the human body can be restored.

I glanced at the lake where there ducks, swans and geese swimming. Just beyond the lake people were doing a barbecue and I thought about that word and where it came from. bar - be - cue back in the days it must be that sentences were short. 'bar' like a counter in a pub where people wait, 'be' meaning to be present, 'cue' doesn't mean to queue up but represents this word. I don't know but my mind was working on a different mode.

The smoke from the barbecue seemed like it was choking the trees. I followed the smoke and saw a face made up with the leaves of the trees watching me. Everything all around in that moment knew I was present and the creator of everything was with me. I kept asking how we have forgotten everything about the past, how the stories about history are actually incomplete. We know in previous times people use to recite hymns, parables and teachings and this information would be passed on. But there in that moment nobody passed these information on to me other than the one who created the space all around. I do recall reading in Anastasia Ringing Cedars Series about a creature in our past that almost flew but something happened where it did not come to pass.

It would seem that the One that created us would instill in us appropriate ways to deal with the world around us. So many animals already becoming extinct and exploitation is more rife than ever before. But some people do realise this and try to protect what precious we have left because they understand that we, or at least our bodies are dependent on the world around us. Humans were created this way. To live in nature and comply with the laws of nature. We have environmentalist and activists all currently exposing themselves to great danger but for the love of this world they are willing to take those risks.

It all seemed so natural, that this was the way it was always meant to be. To be aware of our creator and the one who gave us life. But why have people forgotten all this that is so fresh in my mind? and I know that everyone has access to this awareness. This powerful awareness and presence all around me at that moment. The answer was immediate, in the earlier days when people had this awareness they began digging away at the earth and making stuff from it. There was exposure to all kinds of substances. Fast forward millions and millions of years and today we know nearly all the developed countries are running on capitalism. We've changed the natural world so much that our DNA has mutated and as a result memories are not accessible. People of various religious denominations resort to their teachings not knowing that there is a scripture locked inside their own DNA waiting to be unlocked.

People are sort of confused and in a daze, so much that some conspiracy theorists who are saying that this is done by an elite group to keep the masses under their control seems plausible.

Aluminium is a mineral people are heavily exposed to. It has been linked to Alzheimer's and is a massive problem in this day and age because it is literally everywhere. I have known about aluminium for a while. I have been eating food and drinking apple cider vinegar in water high in malic acid to remove the excess aluminium as well as avoiding aluminium (cookware, deodorants etc). Excess aluminium will get stored in the brain and cause all kinds of memory problems both short term and long term. Even current scientists are figuring out ways to eradicate certain memories that make people unhappy. It was only a few weeks ago that I decided to get on board with the malic acid. I am also doing other heavy metal detox.

So even though I feel I can access this awareness simply using Salvia and it is all I have to do to access information about our history and learn from the One that gave us existence - it is a very short term experience most of which becomes a distant memory.

UPDATE: In one instance when I felt the sun heating up I realized and understood what hell is. Hell is when there are no clouds, the sun intensifies and all that is on earth will be set on fire. I was able to perceive in that moment that for some reason such a thing could come to pass. A long time ago people called this hell, today it is referred to as global warming.

Global warming will be like hell on earth. Even in my everyday life I have been aware the changes in behavior in certain people when the weather has intensified. Especially the latest terrorists attacks happening during this summer season. Some people seem incredibly moody, many smoke tobacco or drink a lot more in this kind of weather. The tobacco tends to calm people. There's also a high amount of aluminium in tobacco.