Updates for 2025 - New Insights and Discoveries

 2025 has been another year of learning. So much growth this year. I have made some very profound discoveries. 

In brief, the human form is like an electrical vessel with a field, a very energetic field all around it that can be manipulated. The field can be working optimally or with chaotic output input. 

Your work is to repair and rebuild this field.

This year that is what I have been doing. Food, supplements self care are essential. It is more than just what you put in your body. I can't condense all this information in this one post.

I'll give an example of what I learned. We attract and repel people (other energies) based on the state of our field. 

I have looked more in depth into neurotransmitters, have learned so much I can read people after getting to know them a little. Traits, habits everything helps with the analysis. 

Often times we may attract characters that seem to be in conflict with our field - undesirable, bad unwanted players in this game of life. Sometimes these characters are undesirable  but somehow we invite them through our field. Just the meeting of one person can have a ripple effect. 

I had met one such person, following their traits, habits etc. Now she wasn't bad or undesirable, in fact we got along quite well but there some things that felt like I can do without. 

She was a chronic smoker, a sharp intelligent woman whom I shared apartment with. Now this was a temporary arrangement but at some point the idea came to my mind and I am not sure how but I determined that if I could match the levels of the neurotransmitter she was stimulating it would,  by my theory I had cooked up, repel her. So I experimented, lo and behold she had to leave after this and could not remain in the apartment. 

I continued these experiments and still to this day carry on learning and growing. 

When a person comes into your space whether desirable or not its because you bring some element to the field based on where you are and the growth you must do. They say like attracts like but actually two opposing forces attract just like a magnet. 

In my situation I increased Acetylcholine levels to either match or surpass the levels of the woman in my space. The effect was instant. Now I don't go around matching my levels to that of those around me but I certainly do use it as a cue. I follow a map as a guide, when to increase which biochemistry in my body. And it's not just neurotransmitters, I also manipulate levels of hormones and other chemicals and processes in the body.

The biological system of the human form is essential to any spiritual development. By manipulating this bodily system effectively we can awaken all our special abilities that right now remain dormant. 

Working to renew rebuild the field also helps attract positive experiences. 

It has been an interesting year of experiments and I have so much to share. 

Salvia Starlings Murmurations

Salvia Starlings Murmurations 30th November 2020 Full Moon

Soaked salvia crumbled leaves. Chew after vodka rinsed mouth

Laptop ready with documentary of starlings murmurations hoping an understanding of what they are will be revealed through this state.

At first I kept thinking the shapes could be hands coming through the sky

Later it became clearer. The black parts were outlines of the great giant beings. Amazing! There are many beings not just my computer screen but there in the world and even right here. I was too focused on screen didn't see what was happening around me but I can feel movement in the forehead.

My knowings are immediate what people in the past called insights. The organs working harmonious so that vision is clear. I understand why we don't see it now - the brain is not working the way it is meant so that the organ of sight isn't operating to see that world. A lot of spiritual text has referred to this as the veil. The current reality we think of as real as maya intricately coalesces with that other world. That other world is part of nature.

Then the sounds of the birds! Oh My God! My hearing was clear, each sound produced a frequency and I heard the voice so clearly. A voice coming out of this great being - full on sentences. Remember these sounds are frequencies and I was picking it up in English- someone who understands Hindi or Chinese or other language will pick it up in that language. I couldn't catch the words as I was stunned by it and the video moved away but what it sounded like was the giant being announcing something and it seemed like it was communicating with this world so that someone can hear it. Clear messages from someone in the sky.

The language of frequencies seems to be the Universal language. Which now brings to language through millennias language has changed dramatically - example the first man on this planet did not speak in English.

Why are we not able to see and understand these visions in the sky that to the onlooker seems like a group of birds performing some mysterious stunt.

I have had the experience with the northern lights.

I feel it is because the brain is not being utilised. I think children still have it but perhaps lose it with time as they begin to learn language and integrate within society. Another issue is due to changes in the environment toxins pollution etc more damage is done to the body so that the organs do not work as they should. Another possibility is because as the child grows their minds are conditioned to think on worldly matters riddled with stress anxiety worries etc. I know I can prove it and maybe some day I'll find a way to do it. For now all I can do is experiment not reveal this post and keep it to myself.

It's like my brain slowed down in order to capture or decipher the movement and sounds

I'm going to watch and listen keenly to the starlings in the sky.

UPDATE 

Have decided to post it even though initial feeling was to refrain from posting

Salvia Divinorum Defining Sexual Energy and The Way To Forgiveness

I chew the leaves afternoon. Heatwave.

The surroundings transform but only slightly, something in the brain has changed that my experiences are very different in quality. I would  not as visually as powerful as it has been previously except the insights are still powerful. In fact the insights are a lot stronger. Lots of knowings.

I am thinking on my abuser and what to do about my situation. Confrontation seems important at this time in my life and the opportunity is there. I am suddenly aware of why people have sex. An orgasm as an example, carries a great deal of information. It creates a blissful state but only lasts a moment. Another high. But so momentary, can only grasp for a moment.

The physical biological process is in alignment with an emotional process. When two people are procreating each partner is sending forth various energies, in thought patterns etc to create another living human being. There is something about this energy and I am now revisiting my first brush with the kundalini energy.

The sexual flow unlike anything I experienced my entire life. It wasn't like an arousal. I recall the voice, whose voice is it I still wonder. It told me to stay still and I listened. That was many years ago and only recently this year again the voice made it self audible in my ears. I'm not sure if it is the same exact voice but again it told me to stay still only this time warning me that my body will be destroyed perhaps due to damaged nervous system. I wrote about this here.

I think it's possible that during my abuse as a child I disassociated from my body. Probably the only way I was able to stay sane for at least a decade after the incident. From a more scientific perspective I remained unconscious but my brain continued to record the experience and then store it somewhere to revisit when necessary. Only in my teens did I get the flashback and it created a massive disturbance. When we ask for questions or ponder something our brain or mind looks for the answer, kind of like a personal google search engine.

I have done some reading on other people that were propelled into a kundalini awakening due to childhood trauma. During the sexual abuse as a child I think the person has left a part of something from his energetic field into mine and vice versa. Whilst his was given to me, mine was taken. I don't know if I'm even making any sense now but those who have been abused will say they feel as if something was taken from them. Innocence perhaps?

I know in my case the trauma paved the way for my future kundalini awakening.

I'm aware the entire time during this salvia session of all the energies around me. I am going into that same space where I always end up. That central part that I seem to refuse to accept - that I created my reality. I should take solace in the fact that I can then direct it in any way I like.

Unfortunately my mind is in such a state that I'm in victim mode, not a good place to give directions. I'm being told now to forgive, that for my own peace of mind I need to forgive. I have read about another woman and her kundalini awakening who had to relive a childhood trauma in order to release it and forgive her perpetrator.

I have decided to forgive and I confirm with the energies present at that moment I will forgive only if the perpetrator asks for forgiveness. I have also been thinking how I won't get a confession out of this person so I have set up something for him to say and if he has a hard time saying it then I'll know. I have already seen the many clues and signs throughout my life that confirms the rather unfortunate memory I buried a long time ago.

I'm actually shocked at myself that it has taken me 30 years to revolt and take action but it makes sense from the perspective of how much I have grown up from that frightened little girl to a mature woman who knows how to defend herself.

I hate reading about other people who talk about these trauma being some kind of way we repay our karmic debts or how it heightens our spiritually because as a victim I beg to ask the question Why? Why, God? Why put me through this shit? Then I read about other spiritual mumbo jumbo shit people spout about how we agreed to it and made a contract and so and so...Almost as if we are willing to tell ourselves anything just to feel good about ourselves.

I have clearly been angry but I know I cannot remain in anger for too long, it cripples me. I'm in that space now where I would like to move on. For the time being I am working on my memories to try to retrieve it fully.

Salvia Mother Earth Insight

Actually this insight is kind of old, however the incidents that led me to take Salvia are new. So I suspected for a few days now since the brain stem attack that I might have some tumors in my brain. Or it could be that I’m just a hypochondriac. However, the headaches and a new onset of nausea meant that the two may be related. I have looked up symptoms which match mine.

I decided to take the Salvia to peace of mind. I like that salvia shows me that this reality is just a game, this puts my mind at ease. I’m always aware of this since my salvia excursions but I get caught up in the daily activity of the world that it is so easy to forget we (our personality, individuality, ego) will not last forever. In fact it is ever changing.

I was listening to my mp3 player to the Soul Songs playlist. Different tracks about nature, love, reality and the divine. I became engrossed with the songs by Denean, Angels Calling Me, Sundancer, Walk In Balance. The message was so clear, the Earth is like an embodiment and some believe it is a mother.

And if you think about it, the Earth is our mother. She provides us with food, warmth, shelter and love all in abundance. It then dawned on me, because of what was being said in the songs that people in the past such as native Americans, were in tune with something we are oblivious to today. They used to sing songs but more importantly the earth communicated with them. The beauty is the communication wasn’t in their mind or a concept or even a psychic experience. The actually heard her voice, I’m not sure how. But certain sounds of the element if heard with a fully open, whole brain make up syllables and vowels which humans can understand.

I recall recently while waiting for a supermarket to open, I stood near the trolleys for quite some time. All of a sudden I heard sound of birds chirping and tweeting. It was such a beautiful symphony, and I’ve hear birds chirping and singing before but nothing as melodious. I thought it was somebody’s ringtone or someone was playing it on a stereo. I looked around to see several birds in one spot. Soon they began gliding across the sky and sat perched on the trees until they departed while I stood there wanting to hear more tunes.

The Earth is our mother, and long ago we had awareness of this. The evidence is in the fact that all people when around nature feel a sense peace and calm, even scientists are confirming this. I feel that the technological age which has already arrived is one that will be very depressing because it will disconnect people even more from the sense of peace and calm that comes with being in nature. Somehow as time has gone by we have become oblivious to this fact, through excessive living and needless stress. 

The current treatment the Earth is receiving from people is abominable, it is akin to rape. And to some degree I am also guilty. I do my best to live in a way that is friendly to the Earth, such as eliminating plastic, using reusables but not really doing enough.

I have an urge to actually connect with nature, live more simple and I am working to that end but at the same time Salvia tells me other things. That even nature is in my mind. That everything that happens and all that is perceived are based on my memories. That people outside me that I perceive to be real are dreamt up, that I dreamed them into being and that upon death this dream world has to also come to an end. 

There is something crucial about the memories, that somehow when parts of the brain are back into action that the Earth which is part of the dream will be a paradise. I have read a lot on Jiddu Krishnamurti’s works and this is something that he brings up on a few of his talks. His take on this is that all is required is only a few handful of people mastering this, although not through time instead it should happen instantly.

I recall in the Salvia state pondering the great tragedy’s around the world, especially various types of crimes that are increasing. I wondered if these people are punished, what happens to them – the answer I got back was “An eye for an eye” not in a callous way, only to explain how the laws operate. If a person murders someone in one life, the murderer must also go through the same fate in another life or even the same life. This means a belief in reincarnation, the Buddhist religion explains it using karma and how our deeds accumulate into other lifetimes. For now I don’t have much of my own thoughts on this but if I use Salvia will ask these questions for clarity.

I really need to take salvia without any external stimuli, no thoughts of this world, no songs to dictate my experience. Soon I will be building up a meditative practice so that I can do this. For now I listen to music, randomly sometimes even the radio because externally there is just too much noise but this will be changing soon.

Salvia Reveals Our True Powers and Plays with My Organs

I have only chewed salvia leaves on and off recently. Sometimes I'm astounded how made up our reality is. Meaning; In the grand scheme of things none of us really exist, not even the things we perceive. This happens often and each time when I experience the insight in my salvia excursions it feels so new because coming out of salvia state I am back to reality and the conditioning of my mind makes me behave as if all this is real; ie holding onto possessions, ideals and beliefs etc.

Yesterday with all my days anxiety I decided to take a break and listen to some music and instantly I recalled my experience with a being, a God like being. A presence that warms me up always without fail.

I didn't simply receive an insight, it was more of an instant awareness that this presence is always with me in all my experiences. It is this presence that facilitates the entire functions of this body, this world. Without effort as I listened to the music the lyrics pulsate with meaning, in our ordinary state this absorption is impossible. This presence controls veins, arteries every function in our body. I became further absorbed with some retrospective thinking which is the great thing about chewing leaves is that a large part of my ordinary daily awareness ego consciousness (call it what you will) is present so that I can vividly recall vividly my experiences. With the extract it can take time to assimilate new insights.

Listening to a song and thinking at the same time, suddenly my internal parts in the upper torso are pulsating. The rhythm of my heart beat is the same as the beat of the music I am listening to almost as if by magic my organs have an intelligence of their own and can change the rhythm of my heart beat. But wait this isn't magic, doesn't our amazing organs function without any mental effort on our part already? My veins and every internal part was following the same symphony of the tones in my ears. It really indeed seem magical.

I begin to feel inspired about a movie based on this experience and my mind is immersed thinking up a plot line to convey just how I felt in that moment. An experience I would sum up as God-realization.

God-realization, according to Meher Baba, is the highest state of consciousness and the goal and ultimate destiny of all souls in Creation. A soul that realizes God experiences God's infinite power, knowledge, and bliss continuously.

The following are things I myself have been trying to understand in this other state.
God within each individual severs the connection of mans awareness of God. Why? For the play of this world can only happen when man has lost all memory of his origins. Should he know his origins then he would be like a God. But here's the paradox, that even in mans state of amnesia, he continues to create. With his expanding imagination, storage of memories in the brain cell but it seems he is equivalent to that of a Robot and possibly has a pre-programmed destiny. The Buddha has also said it: We are a result of what we think but this implies that we can then change our destiny.

If you observe your own thoughts and see if those types of thoughts correlate with your current existence the connection will be there.

So why all the Chaos? Is life a sick joke and is God then a sadist because as beautiful as this world is there is darkness? No, because we are clearly creating according to our own imaginations. I'm still trying to work out the part why innocent children suffer then.

In this salvia state I am trying to understand the relevance of humans to God. I couldn't help but think that God did not need us, nor even want us even though there is this sense of longing in the songs I listen to and these are inspired by God. For anyone of any religious denomination I imagine this may sound a little upsetting, but I'm afraid God is just too happy and jolly to care how your daily life effects you. Why? Because you have been given the True Power to resolve your life yourself, what more can a God deny if he gave you everything from the very beginning. After this experience I feel even more prompted to go back to using Law of Attraction to fix some things currently going wrong in my life at least as a new experiment. 

Another thought came flashing in, if we are the sum of what we think how can we know that which is unknown. It is seems we can't know the unknown, to know the unknown we must ourselves become unknown. Lose one's identity, central ego self. Who then comes back to express the unknown? So in the salvia state as I lose my identity, and the brain empties of all memories how can I come back to communicate what I perceive when we live in a world dictated by the 5 senses which are wholly dependent on thought. Or it could it be that the 5 senses themselves go through some kind of transformation but again the 5 senses are dependant on thought. You wake up in the morning and even though in your mind you don't think about how your eyes see, ears hear and the feeling of the duvet against your skin in that moment there is the underlying thought of "I". "I" wake up and this "I" is assigned a body. I was speculating all this in the Salvia state.

This is the lyrics to one of the songs I was listening to:

http://www.bollynook.com/en/lyrics/9260/tumse-milke

Salvia Insights of Bird planes, Memory loss and mutated DNA

I went to the park without planning my intentions. I actually needed to get away from home, from family gathering, pretty hectic time.

I just randomly thought I'll take some soaked salvia. When I got to one hill, where I once used the salvia I just sat there for the longest time. Snacked a little not feeling yet I was ready to take the salvia. This part there's lots of people walking and running so I would not get the privacy I needed.
It was really windy. There were clusters of dense clouds, at times when the cloud would move away from the sun I would look at the hill, the light starts at one point and slides up the hill like an opening curtain.

The birds started to gather on the bottom of the hill. Ravens or crows.

Watching the birds flying, they seemed to enjoy the high winds. I watched and observed one only lightly flapping its wing and then allowing the wind to glide it. Almost like a kite (I did later on also watch a kite in the air).

I was eating some bread and gave some to the birds and then thought about just getting some more from the shops for the birds and hopefully by the time I was back it would be less windy.

It was less windy. I found that the hill was occupied so I went to another spot. Much better and more privacy, at least I hoped nobody would bother me. It's not easy going to the park without getting some kind of unwanted attention. I think it is for this reason my paranoia seems to increase when taking salvia in the park.

Finally when I knew the weather was warming up and the winds had calmed down I swooshed mouth with some vodka and then chewed about 1 1/2 tablespoons of salvia (it was crumbled and soaked).

About 5 minutes and I felt that nothing was happening, maybe because the salvia was soaked for several hours. I observed everything around me, the birds were croaking and I fell into a kind of reverie. I watched the birds and a helicopter pass by. A long time ago maybe when the dinosaurs were around or a time before that. There were large birds able to carry people on board, but as the scientific mind began to evolve all these birds were taken apart until they became extinct. Such a long time ago that we would not even hear it about it in this day and age because for one; even if bones were found it cannot be known that their main function was to carry humans.

Helicopters and planes are a replication of these creatures. I'm not making this up, this information came to me under the influence of salvia. It would seem that a lot of technology is a replication of technology that already exists and as humans we are simply replacing these technologies with artificial and inefficient versions.

In one moment I glanced across and the thought came into my head about Jesus. I remember reading somewhere (can't remember if it was the bible), Jesus said to his disciples to bring various herbs and place it near his body. God used the functions of these herbs to restore the body of Jesus. Who else would know other than the One who made the earth and the sky by what mechanism the human body can be restored.

I glanced at the lake where there ducks, swans and geese swimming. Just beyond the lake people were doing a barbecue and I thought about that word and where it came from. bar - be - cue back in the days it must be that sentences were short. 'bar' like a counter in a pub where people wait, 'be' meaning to be present, 'cue' doesn't mean to queue up but represents this word. I don't know but my mind was working on a different mode.

The smoke from the barbecue seemed like it was choking the trees. I followed the smoke and saw a face made up with the leaves of the trees watching me. Everything all around in that moment knew I was present and the creator of everything was with me. I kept asking how we have forgotten everything about the past, how the stories about history are actually incomplete. We know in previous times people use to recite hymns, parables and teachings and this information would be passed on. But there in that moment nobody passed these information on to me other than the one who created the space all around. I do recall reading in Anastasia Ringing Cedars Series about a creature in our past that almost flew but something happened where it did not come to pass.

It would seem that the One that created us would instill in us appropriate ways to deal with the world around us. So many animals already becoming extinct and exploitation is more rife than ever before. But some people do realise this and try to protect what precious we have left because they understand that we, or at least our bodies are dependent on the world around us. Humans were created this way. To live in nature and comply with the laws of nature. We have environmentalist and activists all currently exposing themselves to great danger but for the love of this world they are willing to take those risks.

It all seemed so natural, that this was the way it was always meant to be. To be aware of our creator and the one who gave us life. But why have people forgotten all this that is so fresh in my mind? and I know that everyone has access to this awareness. This powerful awareness and presence all around me at that moment. The answer was immediate, in the earlier days when people had this awareness they began digging away at the earth and making stuff from it. There was exposure to all kinds of substances. Fast forward millions and millions of years and today we know nearly all the developed countries are running on capitalism. We've changed the natural world so much that our DNA has mutated and as a result memories are not accessible. People of various religious denominations resort to their teachings not knowing that there is a scripture locked inside their own DNA waiting to be unlocked.

People are sort of confused and in a daze, so much that some conspiracy theorists who are saying that this is done by an elite group to keep the masses under their control seems plausible.

Aluminium is a mineral people are heavily exposed to. It has been linked to Alzheimer's and is a massive problem in this day and age because it is literally everywhere. I have known about aluminium for a while. I have been eating food and drinking apple cider vinegar in water high in malic acid to remove the excess aluminium as well as avoiding aluminium (cookware, deodorants etc). Excess aluminium will get stored in the brain and cause all kinds of memory problems both short term and long term. Even current scientists are figuring out ways to eradicate certain memories that make people unhappy. It was only a few weeks ago that I decided to get on board with the malic acid. I am also doing other heavy metal detox.

So even though I feel I can access this awareness simply using Salvia and it is all I have to do to access information about our history and learn from the One that gave us existence - it is a very short term experience most of which becomes a distant memory.

UPDATE: In one instance when I felt the sun heating up I realized and understood what hell is. Hell is when there are no clouds, the sun intensifies and all that is on earth will be set on fire. I was able to perceive in that moment that for some reason such a thing could come to pass. A long time ago people called this hell, today it is referred to as global warming.

Global warming will be like hell on earth. Even in my everyday life I have been aware the changes in behavior in certain people when the weather has intensified. Especially the latest terrorists attacks happening during this summer season. Some people seem incredibly moody, many smoke tobacco or drink a lot more in this kind of weather. The tobacco tends to calm people. There's also a high amount of aluminium in tobacco.

Faith in God

I've had my fair share of encounters with God (with and without Salvia). I've never been convinced by my religious upbringing about the existence of God. I remember always saying I'll believe it when I see it, I cannot blindly accept anything. 

Even though my encounters with God on Salvia are compelling they eventually faded in the background due to so many distractions. However the experiences as they occure were so compelling that I just couldn't believe how everyone was giving God very little attention. This was the case in the duration of the experiences and thereafter. More importantly I wanted to understand why people were unable to perceive it. Why was I unable to perceive it unless taking certain stimulants and entheogen. Entheogen means "that which generates God/the divine in a person" so it seems indeed it will generate encounters with God.

For a long time, since Kundalini awakening my body has been doing a lot of the involuntary movements without my effort. These are usually light and can be controlled by me, however when I relax they can take over, not so much by force but a surrender of my will over these movements. The interesting thing is I can ask questions and get a yes or no answer. Recently these movements have transformed and seem to be the movement of another form of intelligence within my body, almost like something else is asserting it's will. I have had different types of encounters with God which I have categorized below.

The Big Friendly Giant

This was in my early salvia  experiences where I encountered God like being only did not call it God.
Salvia Illusions
Salvia Kundalini and the Genie

God of Love

This was a merging with God and I recall being at the brink of completely merging where I would lose all sense of my identity, I was being cradled with pure positive love energy that the experience could be compared with a mother lovingly cradling her baby. Pure rapture and joy, however thoughts of worldly existence had me back in my original state.

The All Encompassing God

This is when I perceived God everywhere. With a completely different perception I was looking at God directly. I had an instant knowing that this was God, master of existence and there was no doubt about this. My reaction was one of complete shame because of the current state of affairs around the world, war, destruction and the petty somewhat miserable monotonous lives people were living. Instantly I needed to put my intention forward, I like I was apologizing on behalf of the entire world. Asking for forgiveness that we were all caught up in our miserable lifestyles and I vowed to bring happy people, that all people will face God in joy. Again this is another Salvia experience.

God as Self

This is the type of God experience where one experiences God as ones own Self, meaning a complete merging. There are many people such as Sri Ramana Maharshi and Jiddu Krishnamurti that have spoken about this. Krishnamurti was careful actually not to discuss it and has even said that people create God, he made that very firm in one discussion. However in one of his poem he makes it clear that God is his own self and that he had lived countless of lives to arrive at that conclusion however this could be his beliefs prior to abandoning the society he was a part of. Krishnamurti also speaks of the mind, not the mind of an individual but a greater mind too vast to comprehend. It could be that this vast mind is how some would interpret as God.

Awareness of God in the Body

In my case this experience is very much like being possessed by an entity. This has been my most recent experience since last year. I experienced this type of God awakening with mj and red wine and music. The experiences themselves are convincing for the person that experiences it. However after it is over it makes a person question their own sanity. I've often found myself pondering if maybe I'm possessed by some kind of demon trying to conquer my mind and body. But if I have faith in that then why should my faith in God be any less. Now generally you might think if it is God, then God should be able to perform miracles through this body. Let's take Moses and Jesus as examples, they were able to perform miracles and so a great number of people followed them and because of these 2 individuals we now have one of the major religion that to this current day is still in existence.

However for me just being alive to bear witness to such a joyous being was a miracle. You become so humble in its presence that there is no denying you are in the midst of an extraordinary being. I believe that it was Rumi that had this type of experience, for him it was not a matter of the manifestation taking place in his body but that of Shamz.

The euphoria is what makes it convincing, and if you taste a little drop of it that alone is more than sufficient to last a lifetime. The euphoric aspect of the entire experience could be tied to the music and songs I listen to. However in those states I've listened to singing in foreign languages which also seemed to induce the feelings of euphoria. In fact the euphoria is also there when I don't listen to music. Only difference without the music is there is a sense of peace and calm euphoria whereas the music is more hyperactive euphoria. On the physical observation my eyes had transformed, my face had delicate expressions all uncontrolled by me, I believe that this was because of being relaxed as this is when it can assert more control over my bodily movements.

So after all these experiences of God what is my stance on the existence of God? Is God real or simply a figment of my imagination? Did God create us or is God simply a man made idea? My very sincere answer to that is "I really don't know".

Could this simply mean a lack of faith in God? I know only one thing of this, when I have those types of encounters and I feel that energy using my sense perceptions to observe my surrounding and join me in my experience there is no doubt that I am with God.

L-theanine detox dreams and Salvia thoughts

Had the l-theanine supplement, possibly around 300mg and the b-complex last night as well as 5-htp. Had a few very vivid dreams but I think what is important is that I had better recall than usual.

I recalled a dream related to cousin and her family as well as sister. I always attribute any dreams related to cousin to do with some kind of major change. This is a cousin that I haven't seen in forever yet they do not live too far. In the dream I dreamt of sending her a letter, in another dream my sister was trying to get rid of me from her house. Only her house in reality belongs to cousin.

I need to take the supplement much earler around 6ish pm so I fall asleep earlier since lately I have been going to bed after 11pm.

A thought crossed my mind today about L-theanine and it's use with Salvia Divinorum. I think because of the relaxing effects of L-theanine in conjuction with Salvia this can produce some interesting results.

Here's a quote about brain waves:

"Theta waves (3 to 8 Hz) occur during sleep but have also been observed in the deepest states of Zen meditation. Alpha waves (8 to 12 Hz) are present when your brain is in an idling default-state typically created when you're daydreaming or consciously practicing mindfulness or meditation."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201504/alpha-brain-waves-boost-creativity-and-reduce-depression

L-theanine produces Alpha waves in the brain. I should be very excited about this, but I think I took way too much of the L-theanine last night.

Salvia Divinorum UK Ban

Before this session I read numerous articles about salvia being banned in the UK under new legislation which probably will go into effect May 2016. Click here for more about the ban

Around 9pm got the session started.
Deep meditative state concerned about the ban on Salvia they are aware of this and in a joking manner tell me that the pretend government and the pretend legislation cannot take away this meditative state nor my absorption into my true self. Pain on left side ribs aware of it as an energy. These pains are conceptual and not actual. Jk thoughts about his awakening, when his brother died this feeling of loss compelled him to ask questions to dive deep within himself. Sound constructs a way to delve deep into meditation had distiller running.

I've also felt for some time that I have to stop depending on Salvia to enter this state, it has become like a crutch.

A natural transition

Yesterday evening around 7pm I chewed small amount of Salvia, mostly crumbled remains.

Prior to chewing I set an intention and even spoke to the energies all around. Mostly all the beings that help to put the physical matter together creating this great illusion. I asked them to help me connect with the Creator, to unite with it and help me uncover the name of The One that is mentioned in several religious texts.

I knew I had to stop the body from moving, even a slight movement can break from going deep. There was an awareness of all the energies that composed the body, moving away and I was there joined with them. There was a dry sensation in my throat which I felt as some of the other beings inducing it, meaning making me feel as if  I need to cough and I gave in and coughed and they became even more aware of the 'me' physically focused.

I turned on led light on phone. Closed eyes and tried to continue with the meditation but had to remove the chewed leaves that were left in my mouth. 

Transitioning to that state felt completely natural that it was always this easy. I am always able to go to that state naturally and I felt that I did, all of it was so familiar it is our actual nature to be in that state.

I grabbed the phone and viewed an image of a person, it felt strangely alive what I mean by that is the image of this person was not just an image but an actual person moving. It was like the energies all around were controlling this image. There was a movement coming from the person in the image almost as if to turn around and look at me directly from their side view pose. I started to see the control of everything around. I am aware in some religions and cultures it is forbidden to make images and sculptors of people and suddenly understand why they did this.

Around me are the larger beings, they are encircling the bed and observing. I close eyes to go deeper, my feet and hands start to heat up, they felt like they were on fire. The sensation in the soles of the feet would cause a severe amount of pain had I not been in that state although a few times I was thinking of telling them to stop as it felt dangerous for the body.

Having had this happen before I knew I had to stay still to allow them to continue. This heat and incident was very much like another experience I had, New Clothes Psychic Surgery.

As I relaxed several sexual images popped up in my head as if to entice me to release the energy. I swatted all the images like annoying flies.

A more scientific perspective of why the hands and feet heated up like that could probably be that I had about 500mg of niacin, cayenne chilli pepper in soup and with the vasodilating effect of both niacin and salvia probably concentrated the heat in veins around hands and feet. However I felt the heat energy had some kind of healing effect.

Giving Thanks Before You Experience Eating

Salvia chewed just a small amount. Here are some notes from phone again will update with more details on each point later:

01/02/2016 around 3am could not sleep meditated with salvia
Master act of dying they're onto me
Fasting purpose is so that body is like the dead
Empty
Empty content bowels etc
Read book of dead
They're in the food
They're everywhere
That's why I'm so cautious of the germs from certain person
Sleep = playing dead
Now I understand why Jesus said eat at others whatever given can't hurt you
They are the food itself they are beings
Feeling of hunger
It's false
Put on by them I can feel they have combined their self to make me feel like a person a human
Smells sounds everything like this
They've induced hunger urge so much
Never felt this hungy
That's why certain food can be bad for some
But this is how Plato was able to survive cyanide
Could have survived anything want to feel food taste
Hunger of a pig
Now I know why pig prohibited
Could take characteristic of anything
Any animals
Any food has power to heal
Speak to it
Befriend them say command
Say move to a mountain
It will
Move
I took on the consciousness of a pig LOL
After eating bacon
They prohibited because we take on the qualities of a pig
If I was permanently in that state there would be no hunger
Now I understand breatharianism
I'm living off ideas
As I typed on phone I felt the trillions of living beings that went into creating the illusion of my phone
That's an idea

Morning woke up feeling very feverish, body temperature almost 37 but not quite. I added iodine to some bacon after having the thought that it would increase body temp and has been working though I did have some cramps.

Half Human Half God

I took the following notes whilst under the effects of Salvia on my phone device using app where I entered new lines so I'm adding the lines exactly as they appeared seems more clearer. Will do updates with notes when I have more time.

31/01/2016 around 7ish pm meditated with salvia
Have to lose my sense of being here now
My now and here stops me
It's our sense of me and now stops us
When we have no sense of ourselves he sees and knows we're  ready
Comes for us
Let go of it all
He is behind it
Has given us the power
He can end me now
I'm deep in that state
Where I'm aware of it
He's gonna forgive us all
But he knows all our wrong and right
Can't lie to them
They know all
The other humans are a part of the drama
Somehow they're in on it
I understand so much from the gospel
Will just read that
Now I know why he and his type get persecuted
Am I cheating with the leaf?
Actually is easy to be in this state
Let go of your sense of self, it's pretense
People I thought are just a part of a plot
Jesus was persecuted
I could see the people like this being labelled loony
When I am in that state I feel sorry for those trying to make it big
Get big and successful in the end you give up. No one takes it from you, you will literally give it up
Our attachment makes us forget
The entire world and people in misery why He not help them
He can but they need to recognize their actual true state
That's what will save them
Ones true state of being is the salvation

As I typed salvation on phone keypad suggestion for word Pharaoh kept popping up, was annoyed but then felt it was suggesting to me through the phone so I searched Pharaoh on google

"A Pharaoh was the most important and powerful person in the kingdom. He was the head of the government and high priest of every temple.The people of Egypt considered the pharaoh to be a half-man, half-god. The Pharaoh owned all of Egypt. Interesting fact. The ancient Egyptians did not refer to their Kings as Pharaohs."

That's exactly how I would describe the state I am in when in these meditations  half-human, half-god.

The Pure Hearted

The anger and hate I have been feeling past two weeks has been intense, never in my life have I felt so much hatred towards another person.

I desperately needed some perspective and Salvia is the one that helps me dispel any issues that arise, a great reminder and teacher.

I got my 10x extract out with a little bit of plain leaf on the base. I have stopped using the filters which I believe are made of aluminium and could be what causes the headaches.

1 hit, holding it for about 20 seconds. I felt some slight change but expected something more instant, thinking I needed more I took another hit. Burnt my thumb which is familiar and a signal from the powers that be that I had indeed taken enough and to stop being silly thinking I needed more.

I instantly remembered what I was, what this world is and death. I remember the dying and what it means to be dead.

Dead means to be alive and I was alive fully in my real power and strength. Why, I was so powerful that person who I identified as the cause of massive grief I have felt for the last two weeks could be annihilated with mere commands. It was too easy but in that state comes great understanding, this is the real true state and that part of mind that is curious and wants to understand came to the surface. This is what was understood, to be in that state is to be all powerful. This power source can be awakened in anyone, I'm cheating in some sense...or perhaps not.

While it can be awakened in anyone not everyone can attain it. It is blocked to us all and perhaps rightly so. It is especially blocked to the angry, that does not mean it's available to someone who is all loving.

To the pure hearted this flow of absolute supreme power is completely natural, it is not given or handed down. It is NATURAL!

As I sat down aware of recent behaviour on my part and the situation that caused anger to completely escalate within me, I felt it was abating.

I suddenly thought about my grandmother and wanted to have a conversation with her about death because I felt in that state that she was concerned about dying, like some kind of psychic awareness. I very much wanted to tell her that as death approaches she will notice it and have a feeling that it's coming. Death is nothing to be afraid of, in this death you will know everything. This is going to sound very strange, but I want to ask her if I can be present with her when she does sense it...

I didn't get the usual fluttering of the eyes, that doesn't seem to happen anymore. As I sit here that force or presence is playing with my head by making it sway, swirling in circular directions.

The Unknowing

Late night around 1am took Salvia. Here are notes I managed to record coming out of that state. Text in red is afterthoughts for some clarification.

Unknow what is known

You don't exist these things do not exist they are knowledge what is known is in the head.

Everything that we see in life or experience is a part of what is in the mind, thoughts, memories etc.

A certain thing is part of a pattern.

They control a function of something

As example I am detoxing body but they control outcome using my thoughts and expectations

Physically I have certain things releasing (even psychologoically) they’re doing it.

I started to see the forces that controlled everything, the results of my thoughts and actions etc

It’s the knowing. Knowledge that we exist. What exists isn’t what really exists. Everything every one who reads exist as remnants of my mind. 

All things external were internalizing, or I was viewing everything that took place externally, internally. It was like everything outside of me was thought into being. I was thinking of this blog and how I was really in particularly not actually communicating with anyone, it only exists as the mind solidifies it.

What exists is timeless.

What happens to me in my life is in my head

If all knew one would not grieve the dead.

What I say isn’t to be taken seriously

If I tell divulge any secrets to you it is you are the figment of imagination, I am alone.

I have died. Let me be the one to tell you Never mourn the dead, not even the dying.

There is a great sense of peace in this state of pure understanding

All just ideas

When I am there I remember the process instantly, so quickly I tend to forget these important truths when I return to normal worldly state of mind. I can remember about everything being ideas, the body as an idea, everything based on ideas. From sensations to the simple act of walking. Everything to the minutest detail is based on ideas. Lugols iodine recently induced swollen lymph nodes and even thyroid glands here I am seeing them as just ideas caused by the pattern of thought, a combination of thoughts. I relax go deeper, the body as an idea is unraveling and whilst it feels like an undoing or unbecoming of what I think myself to be even this feels like an idea.

All fears, desires, hopes dreams anything one carries here dissipates into emptiness, it all loses it's relevance. Continuing to relax the sensation and feel of the body is still there, I have my eyes closed and ear plugs on with a scarf around the ears to cancel out as much noise as possible. I am doing some new experiments with Salvia where I will try to exclude as much use of the senses as possible. My digestive system begins to make an unusual sound. The sounds that my organs are making would be shocking to anyone beside me at that time, it was well timed pattern almost musical but a squeaky kind of sound  - something was controlling this. I sense the beings that make up these parts like essential components. All disease and thoughts of illness on the body had very much to do with ones pattern of thought but it seems they have some kind of control.

All the senses were based on ideas, from taste to touch. Here I felt as though I were seeing the raw actual process almost like the real part of it, I don't know how else to describe it. When we experience it in the normal ordinary state that part feels like the pretend part of it.

I suddenly recalled that I had eaten sardines that day, opening my eyes I felt I think I was trying to shake of the unbecoming and feel what it is like to taste in this open state where ones taste buds and all senses are awake.

I get up and hear my brother in the hallway who is with his son. He's near the door but his son starts to cry in an unusual way and it's like with some part of the mind I can feel them. My brother walks away with his son and I can feel his mind and what he's thinking. He seemed curious that his son cried near my door so he walked away and then back where his son cried again at which point I felt his curiosity of why this was happening. It felt like he shook off whatever ideas were floating in his mind. I had this thought that there was going to be a discussion about how kids can sense things, and I imagined myself saying that everyone kind of says this so it must be true. Not because it's a fact but because most people say it, and if enough people have a particular thought it becomes true.

I got up and took a tin of sardines out, I was eating but not in the usual sense with each bite I can feel the essence and all those things that were put together in the idea of the taste of sardines. It was like it was all being broken down to me and I was completely detached from the flavor and even the desire for food, the whole idea of it. I even had the thought in that moment that I would never eat food in the same way again.

The human limitation becomes so apparent in this state of mind and I find myself questioning once again; how is it that I forget this in the ordinary state of mind?

Here I am free, and freedom isn't to have the power to do whatever you want and acquire whatever one wishes or even to be a potentially unlimited being. Freedom is to be free from everything, it's a pure state of complete detachment.

Suddenly a wave of energy showed up, it was like a formation of something and this is something that I can't seem to work out. It seems this wave is a part of someone who is actually quite destructive and constantly angry. As I felt the bad vibes there was this knowing a feeling of some kind that I can actually shun or move it away with my mind somehow and I did a little at first but then let go. It seemed to cause a kind of tremor and vibration in the peripheral vision, there was also some heat in the forehead. I got this sense that I should not use Salvia around certain people.

This time round Salvia did not cause excess urination as it had done in the past but I did feel liver pains and used a very small amount, about 1 tbsp of crumbled Salvia leaves.

Again I need to use Salvia a bit earlier in the morning.

Solar Eclipse with Salvia

I decided not to go out and watch the solar eclipse, instead intention was to meditate. Around 8:25am got started chewing. This batch fortunately had  no odd white stone bits and was freshly opened, there was also something different about the smell compared to the other batch.

Chewed very slowly, sometimes pausing. I was moving along in this other state but trying to keep myself from going too deep.

Yesterday had terrible cramps, realized they were behind it. They control all the sensations, motions and outputs. Last night I left a hot water bottle near the left ribs, upon waking around 1am I was in severe pain in that area. Here in the Salvia state I was reminded of all pain and their true nature - I was completely unaffected by all sensations in this state.

I realize I was suppose to focus on the Solar Eclipse, received back communication that this was completely irrelevant. The others that were present (they seem to be entwined with this reality), seemed perplexed why something like the solar eclipse was fascinating. It was like a tennis ball being thrown over a light bulb and there's a momentary darkness. For them it seemed to happen in seconds whereas here it was in slow motion. There was also this sense that as the solar eclipse took place, they were rearranging something.

Everything I was doing, all the latest projects I've been involved with were all irrelevant. Everything born of the mind was truly irrelevant. Everything lost it's importance.

I am a major health nut, always trying to improve my health in some way and even all the research I've done lately lost it's merit.

Looking to the left at the windows and the blinds I felt this area pulsing and felt the sensation somewhere in the mind. Had a profound understanding. Our brain is very much conditioned, I'm not speaking of our social conditioning or what we learn from our parents but the very general condition of the brain. How we perceive through the senses and see the world was all down to the condition of the brain. Not knowing anything was the key to it all, we know too much. Constantly bombarded with information and using and applying that our brain works in accordance to that and reality is simply this information externalized. There's this process where you just unknow everything you've ever known, to completely let it go.

I was in that state where anything was possible, I'm sure I could be in any world in that moment by simply allowing the brain to empty but I kept holding on. I wondered why? Why was I holding on? My projects came back to the surface and everything I was doing, again it was all just a load of nonsense. Yet deep down I knew what I really wanted to do, which was to create the movie that I've been inspired by Salvia  and even that was completely unnecessary. It was clear to see that I was too addicted to this worldly life, without it I don't exist.

Plain Leaf Smoking

After last experience, an hour or so later I loaded pipe with plain leaf to see how different it is to the extract. It was faster and very much like the earlier experiences. Body taking on a rubbery toy like appearance. I got this undeniable feeling that my family members around me knew my this state, it's like as I am aware in this state I notice how aware they really are. Sensing the real side of others.

I turn off the light and get in bed. Relaxed the beings in the body are scrambling about. Clusters composing different parts. I get this impression they think or assume that I am sleeping. A while later I open eyes and then close and start to feel sleepy.

Waking up this morning no major liver pain. I did however have some incredible dreams, there was a lot of action and the theme was mostly to do with survival.

The copious amounts of urination that Salvia causes seems to be having a detoxifying effect. Need to drink more water.