Faith in God

I've had my fair share of encounters with God (with and without Salvia). I've never been convinced by my religious upbringing about the existence of God. I remember always saying I'll believe it when I see it, I cannot blindly accept anything. 

Even though my encounters with God on Salvia are compelling they eventually faded in the background due to so many distractions. However the experiences as they occure were so compelling that I just couldn't believe how everyone was giving God very little attention. This was the case in the duration of the experiences and thereafter. More importantly I wanted to understand why people were unable to perceive it. Why was I unable to perceive it unless taking certain stimulants and entheogen. Entheogen means "that which generates God/the divine in a person" so it seems indeed it will generate encounters with God.

For a long time, since Kundalini awakening my body has been doing a lot of the involuntary movements without my effort. These are usually light and can be controlled by me, however when I relax they can take over, not so much by force but a surrender of my will over these movements. The interesting thing is I can ask questions and get a yes or no answer. Recently these movements have transformed and seem to be the movement of another form of intelligence within my body, almost like something else is asserting it's will. I have had different types of encounters with God which I have categorized below.

The Big Friendly Giant

This was in my early salvia  experiences where I encountered God like being only did not call it God.
Salvia Illusions
Salvia Kundalini and the Genie

God of Love

This was a merging with God and I recall being at the brink of completely merging where I would lose all sense of my identity, I was being cradled with pure positive love energy that the experience could be compared with a mother lovingly cradling her baby. Pure rapture and joy, however thoughts of worldly existence had me back in my original state.

The All Encompassing God

This is when I perceived God everywhere. With a completely different perception I was looking at God directly. I had an instant knowing that this was God, master of existence and there was no doubt about this. My reaction was one of complete shame because of the current state of affairs around the world, war, destruction and the petty somewhat miserable monotonous lives people were living. Instantly I needed to put my intention forward, I like I was apologizing on behalf of the entire world. Asking for forgiveness that we were all caught up in our miserable lifestyles and I vowed to bring happy people, that all people will face God in joy. Again this is another Salvia experience.

God as Self

This is the type of God experience where one experiences God as ones own Self, meaning a complete merging. There are many people such as Sri Ramana Maharshi and Jiddu Krishnamurti that have spoken about this. Krishnamurti was careful actually not to discuss it and has even said that people create God, he made that very firm in one discussion. However in one of his poem he makes it clear that God is his own self and that he had lived countless of lives to arrive at that conclusion however this could be his beliefs prior to abandoning the society he was a part of. Krishnamurti also speaks of the mind, not the mind of an individual but a greater mind too vast to comprehend. It could be that this vast mind is how some would interpret as God.

Awareness of God in the Body

In my case this experience is very much like being possessed by an entity. This has been my most recent experience since last year. I experienced this type of God awakening with mj and red wine and music. The experiences themselves are convincing for the person that experiences it. However after it is over it makes a person question their own sanity. I've often found myself pondering if maybe I'm possessed by some kind of demon trying to conquer my mind and body. But if I have faith in that then why should my faith in God be any less. Now generally you might think if it is God, then God should be able to perform miracles through this body. Let's take Moses and Jesus as examples, they were able to perform miracles and so a great number of people followed them and because of these 2 individuals we now have one of the major religion that to this current day is still in existence.

However for me just being alive to bear witness to such a joyous being was a miracle. You become so humble in its presence that there is no denying you are in the midst of an extraordinary being. I believe that it was Rumi that had this type of experience, for him it was not a matter of the manifestation taking place in his body but that of Shamz.

The euphoria is what makes it convincing, and if you taste a little drop of it that alone is more than sufficient to last a lifetime. The euphoric aspect of the entire experience could be tied to the music and songs I listen to. However in those states I've listened to singing in foreign languages which also seemed to induce the feelings of euphoria. In fact the euphoria is also there when I don't listen to music. Only difference without the music is there is a sense of peace and calm euphoria whereas the music is more hyperactive euphoria. On the physical observation my eyes had transformed, my face had delicate expressions all uncontrolled by me, I believe that this was because of being relaxed as this is when it can assert more control over my bodily movements.

So after all these experiences of God what is my stance on the existence of God? Is God real or simply a figment of my imagination? Did God create us or is God simply a man made idea? My very sincere answer to that is "I really don't know".

Could this simply mean a lack of faith in God? I know only one thing of this, when I have those types of encounters and I feel that energy using my sense perceptions to observe my surrounding and join me in my experience there is no doubt that I am with God.