Christmas day I fasted, drinking only water and relaxing. I wanted to fast mostly because of the full moon and after reading the Guru Granth Sahib where in several passages it mentions the lunar cycle, something which I plan to follow and try to understand, try to gather insights whilst on Salvia. In the Guru Granth Sahib there is mention of devoting oneself to the Lord (Creator), and meditating on the name of the Lord which is only given to a person through a Guru. There are also mentions of Saints. According to this scripture the Creator awakens the individual that can keep their focus solely on the name of the Lord. The way I understand it is that this name is like a signal, a call which the creator responds to.
So my intention was to receive this name in order to remain awake. Through Salvia and a process that has been taking place in my body I've tasted the wakeful state, where no fear exists and an understanding of everything is attained where all conflict ceases to have any place but it's very temporary.
Chewed soaked Salvia leaves thoroughly in the evening, something again about it initially feels so different. I think the difference is that I don't get the fluttering that was my biggest clue of it working and usually that's when I would naturally try to relax more. The initial transitioning effects such as fluttering vision and body numbing and sensory sensitivity no longer take place so that when I do transition it takes me a while to realize that I have. The only thing I have as a clue is the faces showing up, the beings that compose my surrounding become more apparent and that feeling where I realize I was duped into believing that the chair was just a chair.
I wake up as if to my real self, the way it was meant to be. The very state I should concentrate my mind on and fight for. It's here, the Creator is here and everywhere. There are so many beings, I'm unable to count them. Body, guts everything they change their composure according to what we think. It's like we're living a certain way in a daze coming up with all kinds of strange foreign things. There's been a cold virus going around, which begins to get the children but then passes onto adults. Illness, wellness everything is part of it, it being the very Source. Words are so hard to convey all of this and I am simply repeating everything I already discovered in previous experiences in the hope that I can carry it across and make some kind of sense but all my efforts seem futile.
I look up at the ceiling the beings in the light bulbs moving, beings all over. I understood that eye sight, vision had nothing to do with how it is understood. The eye is a part of what we see, there's something more about this and will have to go in depth another time.
That presence is always there and I ask, I literally beg to stay in that state "Please keep me awake and aware of this". I get up it's not enough, need to write down short notes turn the main lights on. They respond to me non verbally that I must meditate deeply, for the name, for it. By this they mean that the moment I'm in that state in order to hold onto it so I don't re-emerge into this sleepiness I have to keep my focus on the goal and not be swayed by the world nor the efforts on my part. I can't help it I have to pick up the pen, what if I forget it all and that is exactly what is holding me back. I went downstairs to grab two apples slowly munched on these. The taste was divine. When walking I felt that magnetic pulling, tugging sensation.
Unfortunately it was quite noisy although that didn't take away from the experience, still able to go deep. Had a water distiller running in the background which I'm not sure helped much. There were different sounds. After a while I fell asleep and had an experience of being in the presence of something where I also felt sexually charged. Another thing I've noticed on the following day after taking Salvia I get a high body basal temperature recording, it's a healthy level.
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