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Monday 20 April 2015

All just ideas

When I am there I remember the process instantly, so quickly I tend to forget these important truths when I return to normal worldly state of mind. I can remember about everything being ideas, the body as an idea, everything based on ideas. From sensations to the simple act of walking. Everything to the minutest detail is based on ideas. Lugols iodine recently induced swollen lymph nodes and even thyroid glands here I am seeing them as just ideas caused by the pattern of thought, a combination of thoughts. I relax go deeper, the body as an idea is unraveling and whilst it feels like an undoing or unbecoming of what I think myself to be even this feels like an idea.

All fears, desires, hopes dreams anything one carries here dissipates into emptiness, it all loses it's relevance. Continuing to relax the sensation and feel of the body is still there, I have my eyes closed and ear plugs on with a scarf around the ears to cancel out as much noise as possible. I am doing some new experiments with Salvia where I will try to exclude as much use of the senses as possible. My digestive system begins to make an unusual sound. The sounds that my organs are making would be shocking to anyone beside me at that time, it was well timed pattern almost musical but a squeaky kind of sound  - something was controlling this. I sense the beings that make up these parts like essential components. All disease and thoughts of illness on the body had very much to do with ones pattern of thought but it seems they have some kind of control.

All the senses were based on ideas, from taste to touch. Here I felt as though I were seeing the raw actual process almost like the real part of it, I don't know how else to describe it. When we experience it in the normal ordinary state that part feels like the pretend part of it.

I suddenly recalled that I had eaten sardines that day, opening my eyes I felt I think I was trying to shake of the unbecoming and feel what it is like to taste in this open state where ones taste buds and all senses are awake.

I get up and hear my brother in the hallway who is with his son. He's near the door but his son starts to cry in an unusual way and it's like with some part of the mind I can feel them. My brother walks away with his son and I can feel his mind and what he's thinking. He seemed curious that his son cried near my door so he walked away and then back where his son cried again at which point I felt his curiosity of why this was happening. It felt like he shook off whatever ideas were floating in his mind. I had this thought that there was going to be a discussion about how kids can sense things, and I imagined myself saying that everyone kind of says this so it must be true. Not because it's a fact but because most people say it, and if enough people have a particular thought it becomes true.

I got up and took a tin of sardines out, I was eating but not in the usual sense with each bite I can feel the essence and all those things that were put together in the idea of the taste of sardines. It was like it was all being broken down to me and I was completely detached from the flavor and even the desire for food, the whole idea of it. I even had the thought in that moment that I would never eat food in the same way again.

The human limitation becomes so apparent in this state of mind and I find myself questioning once again; how is it that I forget this in the ordinary state of mind?

Here I am free, and freedom isn't to have the power to do whatever you want and acquire whatever one wishes or even to be a potentially unlimited being. Freedom is to be free from everything, it's a pure state of complete detachment.

Suddenly a wave of energy showed up, it was like a formation of something and this is something that I can't seem to work out. It seems this wave is a part of someone who is actually quite destructive and constantly angry. As I felt the bad vibes there was this knowing a feeling of some kind that I can actually shun or move it away with my mind somehow and I did a little at first but then let go. It seemed to cause a kind of tremor and vibration in the peripheral vision, there was also some heat in the forehead. I got this sense that I should not use Salvia around certain people.

This time round Salvia did not cause excess urination as it had done in the past but I did feel liver pains and used a very small amount, about 1 tbsp of crumbled Salvia leaves.

Again I need to use Salvia a bit earlier in the morning.

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