Yesterday just after 7pm I used 20x extract, used a torch lighter and mini bong, saw energy beings or essence of those around me, in particular two of my sisters however in that state we did not have this relationship - there was something majorly different. The essence of my sister-in-law was also present. In reality I don't get along with her. Her energy or essence whatever was communicating with the worldly me. I sense it, that this giant like being could crush the physical body I had assumed. There was no fear on my part.
Instead I started to ponder why I disliked her so much and it all started when she revealed her demonic, seriously messed up behavior. She has a wicked demeanor and I have had bad experience with this, anyways long story short, nobody believes me or they think I exaggerate so I've just learned to avoid her like the plague.
I realize I'm trying to explain myself to the other beings in regards to the feelings I've been having about the she-demon. In reality she puts on this crying act which I can see right through, it works for her most of the time and I thought I'd try it. I conjure up feelings of hurt, a bit of sadness and I cry, well, at least I try to. Within seconds I'm bursting out laughing.
There are the usual energy sensations within and around the body as salvia effect starts to dim. I start to think deeply and it hits me hard, I'm missing something in my life, there's a sense of great lack of something. I go deeper into this feeling of lack and find that what I'm missing is love, not the love between a man or a woman, or any love between individuals but love itself.
It's not just me, everyone is lacking this love and I sensed it so deeply it disturbed me. Decided to take another hit, this time I knew what to ask for when they ask me to make the request.
I had real tears eventually, at least that's what I thought until I took a hit of Salvia. In Salvia state everything which includes emotions becomes bogus, my tears were like crocodile tears. I wanted to keep my eyes open this time. After three hits that was not possible, there was that other sense where there was an urgency to put the bong down as I attempted to take another hit very quickly and place the body in a relaxed posture. Everything was happening too fast, maybe this is good because there's actually no time to think.
As usual I see everything as it is. It's a rapid experience but I don't see that it is any different to the quidding - the difference is in the speed. The unfortunate thing about this is that all the details are left out. There is no frame of understanding for the insights received. I saw what I can only say are fragments of me this me I refer to is the body. It spread out in the space around me. I've been curious about this have read it in other blogs, about versions of the selves. With quidding it is different, I see what looks like parts of my head coming out from the left and right, the heads bopping as they move along, there is a face or something in the center and fragments of my head that look like seperate individual faces are streaming or flowing out, I am now considering this part of the experience to be the dissolution of the false sense of self which is the body.
I eventually opened my eyes and the rest is a blur, only I had a migraine. A horrible pain on the left side and I felt the beings producing the pain. So it seems the extract gives me a headache.
I had a million dreams, these dreams are unusual. I feel like calling them lifetime dreams, me in other lifetimes, other scenarios or probable scenarios all taken out of the context of my current life. In one dream I recall heading back in the house for my umbrella, the same house and same umbrella only something did feel different but I carried on in the dream in much the same way I would here. Then I was walking along and remember tapping the umbrella on the ground like a walking stick. Suddenly a wild looking wolf dog approached me. I realized it was following me because of the tapping of the umbrella, maybe it was a guide dog. Another more pet like dog approaches and I continue walking.
In another dream I'm with other school children and I am in their group. We're walking along and despite being so young we're roaming around the streets freely, like 3 or 5 year olds going wherever we please. There are trucks and lorries about, we pause until they signal a clearing. I see a man climbing a ladder or platform, he looks a bit like Jim Carey. Somewhere upon waking up from the dream I realize in nearly all my dreams this same man made an appearance.
No comments:
Post a Comment