The Pleasure of All

Another trip with MJ last night.

Smoking felt different, eyes did tear up a little but then it was windy outside. Back inside the involuntary movements started fast, again this is very much like being possessed. In general this has been occurring around the clock there is actually no stop to it.

In these other states of consciousness I understand the movement more clearly. Movements are smoother and while it feels like something else has taken over directly from within the body I also have the perception that externally the beings are also manipulating.

There was that same peripheral visual I get on Salvia, a vibrational effect like somehow the eyes themselves are vibrating but not quite, more like a deep layer of it.

It was just after 10pm, got in bed hoping to remain awake throughout (taking it late not a good idea as I end up sleeping it off.

There was mellow feeling coming about with the understanding with the unreality of everything, and it's interesting how my mj experiences parallel with the salvia experiences - it's almost identical.

Resting there were bodily sensations. Then it started once again, a very familiar experience of what seemed like the physical body collecting sexual energy. This same experience on Salvia was unbearable. It felt very much like I was experiencing the sexual acts of those around me, by that I mean neighborhood or town perhaps even expanding to an entire planet. I could be wrong but at the time it felt like that was the case. There was a moment where the sensation of pleasure converted into pain.

What happened after that was a complete blur except I had a very vivid dream. I was observing the characters and at the same time feeling to be playing each role.

Updates on Recent Salvia Extract Trips

Had a few Salvia sessions with the extract 20x. It is incredibly fast, I'm having a clearer perception and also I'm able to remain coherent in the experience. I can open my eyes and move around normally, although the movements feel different but I think it has gotten to a stage I could be tripping near others with no disorientation - something I want to experiment with.

After third Salvia extract session, had chest pains, it started radiating throughout my shoulders and felt like a ton of bricks weighing down my upper torso and I think it may have been due to moving around too fast. Resting on my back it went away.

I just want to summarize my Salvia experiences at the moment, the main theme of my experience can be found in an advaita dialogue. Everything I'm experiencing, the insights received is right here.

http://www.sankaracharya.org/library/advaitadialogue.pdf

Latest Salvia Extract Trips

The world is an illusion.

Salvia extract takes me there with incredible speed. Just to clarify my 'there' is my 'here' in it's actual real form. I have complete understanding in this state, the true nature of not just life but the material cover up. So far everything I have experienced fits in with Adi Shankara teachings and Buddhist teachings.

Though these teachings have come about in different eras they still apply here in this time, in every time.

I felt it going in deep, the absolute necessity of holding onto that state. That state feels natural, seeing the truth behind reality. In that moment there was no care for anything worldly, it seemed to all be a make believe.

Being there I felt the absolute need to share this same state to others around me, in the session the people closest to me were my sisters. I needed somehow to explain all this to them. You could imagine for people not well versed in this how tough such a task would be. The thing is I don't have to do this, yet the urge is there.

The thing that holds us to this world is simply the world, it's worldly affairs, desires and attachment but more importantly our thoughts keep us bound here.

It seemed important that each person stepped through the same threshold as I have. I had a thought for a book. I've always wanted to write a book, I think this new book will have the new discoveries I'm embarking on.

The extract makes the transition incredibly fast, they appeared really quick also they made a few points regarding certain thoughts I had throughout the day.

I looked in the mirror and there was my shadow on the wall behind me, glowing and moving - think peter pan shadow but with more depth.

Phone flash light lit the room and beings were formed by light shadow. Forms also visible on solid objects around the room. Looking outside on neighbours chimney, three pillars formed beings that seemed to be watching over me.

 In that state I naturally abandon all that seems to matter. The only thing that matters is holding onto that state, to fall away from it is to fall into the abyss of confusion and here lies all suffering and there in that state which is here even now, is the Truth and this truth does set you free.

 This morning I opened my eyes quickly maybe after three minutes of closed eyes. I had the recorder handy, did want to make notes but was simply registering everything that took place.

I have thought about it, what does a person do with their life after discovering this. That reality is a dream, a short little trip. It seems one can do whatever they like but I am not permanently in that state, I am not permanently in a position to say one does this and this in one's life once one discovers this fascinating Truth, yet I feel there is something so much more to uncover.

So far no extract headache, however this morning when I got up after an extract session there was an intense radiating pain from my chest, spread to the shoulders and hurt like a ton of bricks suddenly applied within this area. These last maybe 5 or 10 minutes but even after 40 minutes there is something going on with the body like the sessions have directly enhanced the kundalini or energetic processes.

Yesterday I was not going to even touch the Salvia, it was going to be just MJ, got my glass bong ready and it slipped off my hand and cracked. It seemed like deliberately done by the beings and I thought they don't want me to take MJ, or maybe they don't want me to smoke it but eat it.

The smoking I find unappealing although smoking extract does not feel as harsh now in my pipe. Interestingly I can move around in my experience keep my eyes open directly perceive everything and coherently relay the experience as it is happening. This is 20* extract.

There was also that feeling present in that state. Someone could be dismembering the physical body, I could be tortured and beaten and in that state despite these things happening I am completely free from the suffering of these things.

Dealing with the Beings

This morning I got Salvia ready.

Had a very clear intention today before the chewing process, I noticed for a long time I haven't been making specific intentions. I think ever since I decided that my intentions could be an intereference I decided not to intend anything.

But today there was that need to communicate with the beings prior to the session. I have told them that I no longer intend to blog about the Salvia experiences, that they need to reveal to me what was the 'hard to see thing' in reality that is so visibly in front of us yet we don't see it. Here in this experience you can get a gist of what I'm referrring to. It was something that was there for the entire world to look at and directly perceive yet everyone was too busy to pay any kind of attention to it.

I was pondering, maybe I need to go in the park, be around nature, the walls in my room could be blocking the view. Maybe it was somewhere up in the sky - I remember them looking up where I almost got a slight glimpse of it. The answer that came back was that it was internal to me, at which point I wondered if that meant the body or what?  It seems that even a blind person would be able to see it.

I chewed the Salvia, made the deal, no more Salvia posts or any discoveries. The terms are I can make the discoveries, that I myself can figure it all out just that I can't share it - this was entirely up to every individual who wishes for it and to go on their own journey.

I go deep, there is this immediate sense and I perceive them. We're just temporary guests here, the life that we consider to be living, all the memories and experiences, all of this put together just a short trip. Nothing more. We're basically tripping right now, only it seems this trip feels a lot longer.

There was a moment where suddenly an airplane shows up, I can hear the sounds and see through closed eyelids, through the wall all beings turning their heads in this direction. The aircraft is always intriguing to them. I've been curious about this, for beings who appear to know so much about this world why would this be so fascinating. I sense it, the energy of the aircraft, the great force that has gone behind the creation of it. They seemed to be in awe of this and yet at the same time I felt them calling to the energy of the aircraft, they were communicating with it.

The experience had gotten to a stage where it was a whole load of body movements. They're doing something internally and it has started to induce excruciating pain. I show them it is painful just so they know. Then I relax, tell them it's okay, I can take the pain and the procedure carries on. I never thought of asking them what they are doing. For the most part I'm assuming they're rewiring the body. There was a magnetic force or field surrounding the legs, felt the expansion.

I then got up, drank some sesame milk. I had this sense there was no such thing as possessing, that what we have and acquire here do not belong to us. All desires and that sense of something belonging to me or the idea that I possessed something at this moment were simply filtered with this bit of insight, and I've plummeted in that state once again where all my worldly endeavors have no significance.

So for now, no more posts on Salvia experiences.

 I've felt this for a long time and I think it is one of the reasons why I'm not going beyond the points that I've reached. Another thing I do whilst on a trip is 'How am I going to write about this experience' that is one of my biggest hindrance in understanding anything.

I will however share updates on how the Salvia sessions are going in general and anything allowed, usually my emotions seem to be good at dictating what bits of information are allowed.

Salvia Headache and Pressures

Yesterday I had a minor headache forming, I haven't had headaches for some time now until recently when I took the salvia extract. It got so bad, for most of the afternoon I tried to sleep it off. Instead it was like entering a deep meditation. My head started to shake vigorously, this has been happening a lot as I relax or attempt to fall asleep. There is some pressure also building in the ears, a burning sensation behind the eyes. Later on I started to hear internal sounds.

In the afternoon took Salvia hoping it would help. The leaves tasted more bitter and it was from the same batch. Soaked a little more. Remembered during chewing process had to do something, quickly made a call. There a message suddenly popped up regarding typhoon haiyan, a charity thing.

I don't think I heard of it - haven't paid attention on the news. There was this odd sense that they're trying to get my attention here, will check this out.

Getting deep in the stage I got agitated by preoccupations - some things needed dealing with. After this I relaxed and closed eyes - the shift had already taken place.

In the Salvia state I'm suddenly aware of the headache as two beings who have attached themselves just near the brain region where I feel the pain. Pressures in the head, the middle of forehead feeling like some kind of vortex. In particular the focus is on the left side. There is a sharp pain behind left eye. I start begging them to stop the pain, in particular the two beings that are causing it simply by their mere presence.

Several things happened when the perception closed up, I couldn't compute language accurately and thinking caused a very odd sensation in the brain.

It seems pointless, I shake my head still nothing. The entire evening was a nightmare, grueling pains and sensations in the head. I had a eucalyptus oil nearby which I got for my candle making. Decided to rub some near the pain which miraculously made the headache disappear, I felt triumphant. Yet still today those sensations are present, only the pain is not as bad but there are intense pressures.

A Meal With Salvia

Afternoon got Salvia soaked 4g possibly less. Not planned out just decided on a whim. I was feeling experimental. I wanted to try something that I am very reactive to and cannot eat. Lentils was the best choice. I can eat it raw sprouted and have no bad reactions, but when I eat it cooked and not sprouted it can cause almost food poisoning type symptoms for me. In fact the other day I  picked on a lentil dish and had a severe and very uncomfortable reaction. That being said it was not cooked by myself but by another individual whose cooking I should stay away from.

Anyways I made a dish that I didn't even know I was going to make. Made buckwheat pasta and a saucy lentil dish. At the same time salvia was soaking.  My dish took me near around 40 minutes.The important thing is that the dish had to be made by me with positive intentions - my mood had to be positive.

Got to my room and started chewing on salvia, shift starts within 5 seconds. I close eyes relax. I'm aware of the emotional and mental outburst I had yesterday and the circumstances surrounding it. It had to do with one of the beings arranging it - pulling my strings in some sense. It's interesting because I've been thinking of putting off Salvia and the reaction I had yesterday made me want to trip with Salvia to just clear the air.

In the shift breathing changes, I relax deeply and meditate.

All kinds of energy patterns make themselves visible and known. Then an energy pattern that belongs to someone or several people at the time in the house just makes its appearance.
This pattern has something to do with tumors or cancer. Anyways it was there. I had a sharp pain, more of a piercing sensation than pain in the left eye. The beings started to manipulate this, it was either them or something else.  Lots of pain behind eyes, they were focusing here. Pressure building up center of forehead, like a force entering through a vortex. Pain and intense heat behind the eyes. Had a minor headache earlier today, also not in a very good mood. This headache was transforming and revealing as some kind of energy pattern.

I opened my eyes and let them take a look around, that always excites them. Doing this produced other sensations around the body.  At this point  I told them I made pasta and lentils a very indigestible combination, but I expected them to help me digest this. More importantly I ate it as an offering to the groups surrounding me, for the most part what I understand is they get a chance to experience things as I experience them. Anyways so far no bad reactions from the lentils but then only a few hours have passed.

Regarding food in Salvia it has been revealed to me in several trips that food itself has nothing to do with the general health on the physical body. I could not understand this because I was on a healing diet which was actually healing me. What I've learned overtime and I draw all this from my own experience, is that most people with bad health do a lot of emotional eating.

At the time of eating our emotions will dictate what we eat and then those same emotions will do something to the energy pattern of the food and the result is ill health etc. The same thing can be said of the environment in which we live. So food takes on the pattern of the person rather than solely having an effect in and of itself yet all food (plant based and animal based including Salvia itself) have a predefined energy pattern, we all know cheeseburgers and fries are bad for you - but these foods came into the scene when human beings themselves have become quite imbalanced in their state of mind and being. 

In the beginning when I first encountered the Salvia beings they were perplexed that I had to take Salvia to get to that state, apparently how I perceive with Salvia is supposed to be natural for all human beings.

On a healthy diet I was only adding foods that were known to be nutritious and have been proven to improve health, so I consciously sought out those energy patterns that were designed to heal the body. Salvia revealed to me that the health of the body had more to do with my input, that somehow I could eat a pizza or a burger and get the effects of something that is far more nutritious. Beyond this one can actually naturally derive from their own self all that is needed for the body without any need to consume food just simply programming the body with the energy pattern required. That is the aspect I have been focusing on more than trying to eat junk food and changing the pattern there, honestly I don't see the point but it's good to know for those times when you fancy a burger or pizza.

Anyways in general I kind of knew all this from the days when I was experimenting Law of Attraction but not to this degree.

Here are two links that go into more details about how thoughts or intentions can literally change the energy pattern of anything:

The Intention Experiment
Emoto's Water Experiment

Also early morning an incident occured where when I wake up suddenly from sleep there is a shadowy of effect on the ceiling, the forms are vibratory and there is that sense that whilst the physical body was sleeping I had a meetup with them.

Update on lentil results: So far no reaction.

I think this may be the case: several factors go into how the body reacts to food, first every food has a predefined energy when you consume the food you consume the energy pattern, there are other factors that go into this such as the person who cooked or prepared the meal, their state of mind and emotions at the time of cooking.

Second, your body's reaction to the food is determined by your own energy pattern. This means that the overall reaction to whatever you eat has to do with your energy pattern and has the ability to override the energy pattern of the food being consumed.

On Salvia I think something changes within the body to guard it from anything harmful - that is so long as you use it regularly.

I would have to repeat this experiment again without the use of Salvia to see what happens. So far this experiment has only determined that with Salvia I can eat highly reactive foods and have no reactions.

The main thing I really want to determine is how I can eat one food and derive nutritional value of another food - problem with this is there is no actual way of telling whether I've received the nutritional value or not.

Which is why at this stage it's safer to play with the idea that the body can sustain itself purely by the energy pattern (nutrition and nourishment) without consuming food and that is what I'm trying to accomplish at the moment.

Beings and illusions

I need to start defining who or what these beings are. The explanation I can come up with and feels to be most correct are that they are the higher, wiser aspects of our own selves. Yet they can be complex in their appearance. I see or perceive them as energy patterns that are orchestrated in such a fashion that they represent aspects of the physical stuff. This means when I see cancer it is simply a group of patterns orchestrated in order to represent the idea of cancer. There were other things that came to me at the time but they have eluded me, too busy concentrating on other things.


The world is based on ideas, they're constantly running in our mind and program how we experience reality. Everything is an idea, there is the idea that if I don't cleanse myself the germs will follow me, I could die if I stay out in freezing temperatures for too long, or the idea that eating something will improve my health, regardless these ideas once confirmed by more than one person become actualities and everything you know is really just that, an idea. Our problem becomes when we are set on ideas that do not serve us - they're the limited ideas.

I had an experience on Salvia where I ended up in an unknown place during my earlier excursions. During these times I had more freedom in restricted zones. I was in a large room filled with what appeared to be dead carcasses, at the time I was with one of the beings I had encountered. I saw dismembered body parts, not in a gruesome sense, although I could imagine that for the uninitiated this could leave them traumatized, but it all looked like some kind of storage unit and some parts were being moved in a conveyor belt. I even wore a pair of legs once.

There I saw clumps of flesh molding, forming trying to work itself out creating a body, but the thing that was creating it was invisible I could not see the thing that was putting the body together. At that moment I knew something but could not put it in words until now, there is no such thing as birth. Birth is one of the greatest illusion instilled in us through an idea, you might wonder how that explains your baby photos and the fact that your parents are convinced they conceived you. It never actually took place, there is just one moment and in that one moment whatever ideas are floating in our mind all memories will support these ideas so that it feels like you had these experiences and that you lived a specific timeline. So even biologically the human body does not come about through a physical birth - the physical birth is an idea supporting the sense of ones self as the body.

To See Through the Hole

Yesterday in the evening I fell asleep early only to wake up around 11pm after which time I had difficulty sleeping.

Later on unable to sleep I played around with the idea of experimenting with sleep deprivation, have thought of trying it in the past but never have done it long enough.

I was watching or waiting for the body to fall asleep. Eventually there was a magnetic pulling force, I felt the body had become so pumped with helium it was about to float away. Only there was an intense magnetic type of force trying to pull me away or something from within the body. My arms automatically raised up, with closed eyes I was feeling it and then I could see a silhouette arms rising up through eyelids. Opened eyes and this was not the case, my arms were by my side under the covers, yet that other sensation was just as vivid.

 Soon, and I can't recall how I shifted in the environment but it was similar to current physical reality and I did not make the connection at the time as it felt like it was this reality. Only now when I think about it there were subtle differences which were in the general atmosphere or feeling of the new environment.

It was a very vivid false awakening experience.

It was evening time, I was somewhere downstairs and slowly started to feel disoriented, the entire experience was like what I experience during MJ only this was rapid and much more intense. I needed to get to my room quickly because I felt I was about to collapse and that would result in my family calling for an ambulance. The vision around me was turning black and blank slowly edging towards a centre. This centre was the hole through which I could see the physical reality was visible but the hole was getting smaller. Finally got in the room, sister comes in tells me the room was too hot and suggested I open the window. I tell her I can't - I'm too high, I make sure to say this in case she's concerned and calls for help. I don't want to alarm her with my disappearing vision and other senses, just close eyes and pretend to sleep. I try to remain calm reminding myself it will end eventually.

At this point I opened my physical eyes, the eyes focused in this reality. Someone else mentioned to me the 'hole' aspect of MJ, interestingly this is something I have not experienced yet whilst tripping but now I know what the experience feels like. The same person also mentioned how they could no longer drag their feet and ended up collapsing. The 'hole' thing reminds me a little of my earlier astral excursions.

Exposed and Judgement

Yesterday around 4 pm got Salvia rehydrated, I was choosing between quidding and extract, I prefer not to get a headache so chose the quidding.

Again same amount. This time house empty and quiet.

Going deep. Everything in reality revealing itself as though each part is a living entity. Much more complex than one entity, there are groups of entities that make up the more larger entities.

I eventually open my eyes, all the energies around me are counterparts of what I experience in physical reality. It is like suddenly I am being observed by all around me, they've seen from this perspective everything I've been up to meaning all my worldly affairs. In particular they've felt my feelings, most of these feelings aren't so great regarding others. They each are in a sense passing on some kind of judgement on me, not in the punishing sense but they are pointing out, accentuating what I am feeling - even discussing it.

In the deeper sense nothing is hidden all things are completely acknowledged by all beings in that state. So much that I felt it was important to just be completely open with others, because deep down they know.

I open my eyes and after this there is an entire host of entities, to the left I feel them seeking an entity. It is some kind of elemental group, not sure if it is some kind of storm but definitely related to the weather pattern. It is gigantic, and I feel it very strongly. I was maybe just a tiny bit concerned that this entity can gather it's group and cause havoc in my area.

All the while there are things going on with the body. There is a dark entity,  not evil but just not desirable. I sensed it was some kind of tumor or cancer pattern, it was definitely something related to darkness. I wasn't afraid as it embedded itself with my own energy pattern, wasn't sure how to ward it off or banish if that is possible.

Then I opened eyes and other energy patterns bled through the wall, like I saw the surroundings as their face, the shape of their bodies, and they were too large to see fully. But as an energy pattern came through full view I was completely inspired to capture this in a movie, it was incredibly cinema worthy. I make a note of this something to add in the storyline. Later on I got that painful headache.

I have been relaxing and meditating, it has resulted in a lot of head shaking. Later in the evening there was some thunder, sounded like a loud roar, though very unusual. I was not paying attention, too busy writing. It was my sister who made me pay attention to the sound.

Sleeping and Waking

This morning a small amount maybe 4 or 5grams of re-hydrated Salvia leaves chewed. Our beingness emerged. When I'm fully awake, all have awakened. Meaning when I'm awake you too are awake, everyone is awake. Then we return, only when I return I'm still awake and all else have forgotten their wakeful state. In actual fact we don't fall asleep, our true nature is constant wakefulness, what happens here is we forget that this is a dream and get lost inside it.

The trick is to remain awake, our point of being here is to lucidly dream. We're all like zombie's here, the walking dead, the key is to always remain with that awake fully aware life force.

To change the world you would have to go to each individual and convince them that the identity they have assumed is a fictional character, whether you have been treated well or you have lived all kinds of suffering, you have by the power vested in you chosen the role you are now playing. Now I understand more clearly what Krishnamurti was getting at when he said that the crisis was in man.

How can you say to a woman being raped that she specifically chose to have that experience, or an abused child that the experience they are having is their own doing? Yet the fact is we choose the roles we play, and we do it in an unconscious unaware state completely hiding from our true state of being. To see through all the bullshit you need to be lucid, you need to remain awake. When you remain awake and in that full awareness of your real true identity the role you play has no effect upon it but that true self completely changes the conditions of the dream.

Again there were the bodily movements, as if everything around me had a living force and was actively doing something to it. There was a very sharp pain in right ear followed by heat, then same thing in left ear only less painful. Something occurring behind the eyes, a movement. Sight blurred a little.

Amazingly with the quidding that extract migraine is gone.
I recall opening my eyes a bit where there was a kind of visible phenomena that I felt could be visible even without Salvia, something for me to keep an eye out for.

The Lack of Love and Body Fragments

Yesterday just after 7pm I used 20x extract, used a torch lighter and mini bong, saw energy beings or essence of those around me, in particular two of my sisters however in that state we did not have this relationship - there was something majorly different. The essence of my sister-in-law was also present. In reality I don't get along with her. Her energy or essence whatever was communicating with the worldly me. I sense it, that this giant like being could crush the physical body I had assumed. There was no fear on my part.

Instead I started to ponder why I disliked her so much and it all started when she revealed her demonic, seriously messed up behavior. She has a wicked demeanor and I have had bad experience with this, anyways long story short, nobody believes me or they think I exaggerate so I've just learned to avoid her like the plague.

I realize I'm trying to explain myself to the other beings in regards to the feelings I've been having about the she-demon. In reality she puts on this crying act which I can see right through, it works for her most of the time and I thought I'd try it. I conjure up feelings of hurt, a bit of sadness and I cry, well, at least I try to. Within seconds I'm bursting out laughing.

There are the usual energy sensations within and around the body as salvia effect starts to dim. I start to think deeply and it hits me hard, I'm missing something in my life, there's a sense of great lack of something. I go deeper into this feeling of lack and find that what I'm missing is love, not the love between a man or a woman, or any love between individuals but love itself.

It's not just me, everyone is lacking this love and I sensed it so deeply it disturbed me. Decided to take another hit, this time I knew what to ask for when they ask me to make the request.

I had real tears eventually, at least that's what I thought until I took a hit of Salvia. In Salvia state everything which includes emotions becomes bogus, my tears were like crocodile tears. I wanted to keep my eyes open this time. After three hits that was not possible, there was that other sense where there was an urgency to put the bong down as I attempted to take another hit very quickly and place the body in a relaxed posture. Everything was happening too fast, maybe this is good because there's actually no time to think.

As usual I see everything as it is. It's a rapid experience but I don't see that it is any different to the quidding - the difference is in the speed. The unfortunate thing about this is that all the details are left out. There is no frame of understanding for the insights received. I saw what I can only say are fragments of me this me I refer to is the body. It spread out in the space around me. I've been curious about this have read it in other blogs, about versions of the selves. With quidding it is different, I see what looks like parts of my head coming out from the left and right, the heads bopping as they move along, there is a face or something in the center and fragments of my head that look like seperate individual faces are streaming or flowing out, I am now considering this part of the experience to be the dissolution of the false sense of self which is the body.

I eventually opened my eyes and the rest is a blur, only I had a migraine. A horrible pain on the left side and I felt the beings producing the pain. So it seems the extract gives me a headache.

I had a million dreams, these dreams are unusual. I feel like calling them lifetime dreams, me in other lifetimes, other scenarios or probable scenarios all taken out of the context of my current life. In one dream I recall heading back in the house for my umbrella, the same house and same umbrella only something did feel different but I carried on in the dream in much the same way I would here. Then I was walking along and remember tapping the umbrella on the ground like a walking stick. Suddenly a wild looking wolf dog approached me. I realized it was following me because of the tapping of the umbrella, maybe it was a guide dog. Another more pet like dog approaches and I continue walking.

In another dream I'm with other school children and I am in their group. We're walking along and despite being so young we're roaming around the streets freely, like 3 or 5 year olds going wherever we please. There are trucks and lorries about, we pause until they signal a clearing. I see a man climbing a ladder or platform, he looks a bit like Jim Carey. Somewhere upon waking up from the dream I realize in nearly all my dreams this same man made an appearance.