The Illusionist

I have started the Vitamin B6 a few days ago, taking a scoop of this which probably works out to about 100mg but will need to accurately measure. Last night hardly sleeping. I listened to a hemisync open the heart audio and woke up around 11ish pm. After that awake the entire night. I am not sure if this is what has been causing the drastic insomnia or something else going on. Around 5am still awake I relaxed my mind as much as I could. Suddenly aware of being asleep, visuals of my leg raising up, floating sensation. I just quietly focused, no thoughts in my mind. The legs went back into original position.

Then my legs raised up from the left side, and swirled to the right forming a half circle. At this point I was really giddy, giggling and finding it sort of funny. It was almost like being tickled. Then body started to spin. The rest were just sensations and very little recall of some incidents.

Once again when legs raised up they looked transparent, ghost like. The thought came to me during this transparent view. That all these episodes of seeing body, just simply seeing things was like an illusion, a virtual reality of some kind where everything is images but they appear real and depending on how vivid awareness is which is what determines how real the experience feels.

The question I'm asking is what makes this reality so real? and we think dreams are simply dreams. Some dreams are just as vivid as reality. I couldn't help but think reality is also just as dreamlike but we don't see it as such because of our level of awareness.

I think thoughts of this reality make it solid and strong. Most people, myself including have our minds dominated by thoughts of this world. It would seem the world is based on our thoughts.

I want to compare some things between "reality" and "dreams" and try other experiments. I also feel ancient scriptures and texts can offer some insights, and there are some things I've read already read that give some clue.

Entering Different Vivid Dream Scenes with Complete Awareness

Woke up late night then sleep again by 5am. Dreams at first were of a sexual nature, which soon transformed into full vivid awareness of changing scenes. I remember at some point simply floating. Then spinning fast into new surroundings.

I have been extremely busy and stressed lately and have often skipped the vitamin b complex. Yesterday I took the B complex plus NAC which may have helped with this vivid awareness after some dreaming. Also I should probably note that I have had some alcohol in my system, thinking that as NAC which is a liver detoxifier, is processing alcohol in the blood maybe this detoxification process is causing dream scenes of a sexual nature and also the vividness and intensity of the dream.

I have been meaning to do the dream programming but mind is preoccupied with other things at the moment.

Life is but a dream

Last night angry once again looking for closure from a relationship. Drank two glasses of wine to calm down. Slept late but awoke around 2am back asleep again at 4ish am. There was a half moon (filling from left side). Recently I have been blacking out room but decided to let moonlight slip in since this was natural light and not yet completely visible to me rather moonlight falling on other side of room. Mind too occupied I began taking deep breaths and felt intense sensations in middle of forehead  (third eye). I saw geometric spiraling and vibrating patterns and other shadow movements. At some point it seemed like lights were flashing as though flashing a torch right next to me.

Relaxed and soon I was in a dream scene with similar people and relationships. In one scene I'm at home awake in bed grab phone beside me and I start to play something. Phone slips out of my hand. I feel like I'm slowly losing consciousness but can't recall what I had. I felt so alert awake and like myself even though losing consciousness. I am on a sofa feeling like I am paralysed. Mum walks in, she looks like mum in reality but slightly different. She tells me how certain furniture was moved and mentioning her brothers name. I repeat the name which is same one in reality. I say I need to tell her something, how I can't see properly can't move losing consciousness and it could be I took some drugs. Then I get a glimpse of hands covering my mouth. Mother trying to smother me to death! Struggle a little, soon as hand raises up it looks like my right arm. The suffocating stops and I see a man to my right running towards me seems like he's about to attack me. I go in to fight or flight mode. In this moment I realize life is like a dream and I start to sing "life is but a dream". I emerge out of my slumber no longer caged in one dream scene. There are more scenes. I am free. I roam and enter into each scene with no directions. I am greeting all characters in each scene. I feel a deep sense of joy with this dream. In one scene looks like a kids play area. I see their toys. These toys have come to life some of them could be like Alice in Wonderland. I greet everyone and communicate. The characters are cheering me on and gravitating towards me. Like a large family. And the whole time its like I'm me there but I'm just more there than I am here. I'm more acclimated to the scene and characters there. Almost like this reality here is just another scene but only a lot more vivid here right now as I write this. Those dream scenes became the foreground and this reality was some where in the background.

This was an amazing experience, felt like it was more than just a dream or even astral projection.

Programming your dreams

I want to be able to control my dreaming and what I dream about, will be figuring out ways of programming dreams. For now I have noticed that most dreams I have are correlated with something from my everyday reality. A method I will try just before falling asleep is to think about certain things, paint impressions in my mind and dream about them but maybe also do it throughout the day.

While I do believe that dreaming helps release toxin build up in the psyche I think it's possible to navigate through the dream world with intention and achieving lucidity to control what you dream thereby effecting something in the brain. 

I will continue playing around with supplements for enhancing dreams since lack of dreaming is caused by certain deficiencies and possibly even toxicity. 

I'm going to keep external journal for the time being and post my experiences and what I've learned periodically.

Dream Interpretation - Banished and Demon Possession Exorcism

Last night before falling asleep I communicated with another part of my consciousness to give me dreams. I should have been specific about what I wanted to dream about because I ended up having a really weird cryptic and extremely unpleasant dream.

I am babysitting a child, sister present and her child different from the one in reality. She is vacuuming and I am giving some item(s) I cannot recall now. After perhaps a series of dreams I cannot recall dream skips to Gu who is staying at my house. She's been either kicked out or voluntarily left partner. In dream her partner is Shn. He comes to my house and sees me and family watching things on laptop can't recall what but he seems humiliated and angry. He tries to divert our attention by watching something that seems important to him. Starts off viewing on screen movie of kids with their parents on a train then it is as though I enter the scene and become a part of it.- In reality there is a situation with Gu who has been told to leave only not by her partner and she is not married to Shn. Shn looked more like how he looked during his very dark days. I am wondering more and more how dreams are weaved, why do we dream of certain people and how are they created? Going to research into more what parts of the brain effects dreams and study some Carl Jung books.

Something has gone terribly wrong and I need to protect this family from a young man but it turns out he's part of the family maybe a protective big brother. Each family is being taken around a certain time only to return possessed. I'm still not sure how possessed as I have yet to witness the worst. I tell him to pour them alcoholic drinks and they sleep well, except as I observe them from a distance  one of the children is pulled out of their bed and taken underground where child gets possessed. Big brother is not around so I attempt to depossess child. Have a holy book in hand not sure what religion but I end up reciting verses. Child is getting vicious as I am performing the exorcism, child trying to take book and destroy it, suddenly seemed important to memorise the book verses. I woke up with the words very vivid in my mind and it became clear that some part of my consciousness was creating the words as I verbalized them. Like for a few seconds I was able to view the creative thinking that goes into the dream as if I myself was scripting it and playing the part. - I think this definitely is trying to address something within family, where I have noticed two kids acting very hyperactive and at times it's almost like they're possessed. The alcohol is something I drink maybe 1 or two times a month (red wine) to put me to sleep, doesn't always work but keeps my mind balanced. This was clearly a very disturbing nightmare evoked by current reality nightmare situations. I feel the NAC which is known for it's liver detoxification is helping to release certain feelings.

Woke up 4am back to sleep after 5am after having my second concoction to help with sleep. This time added 1.5ml measured dose of inositol with all the vitamin b complex and niacin.

Before falling asleep relaxed and had a braingasm. Intense pulsating energy on top of head and deep inside brain which seemed to start between brows. Had dream about sister telling me how she's benefiting keeping company with solicitors. Either money or some other benefits. It seems suspicious and unlike her. She tells me her superior said it's fine (a law firm). Somehow the main boss says using that room is forbidden. Sister looks defeated and I tell her it's for the best and some things that happen are just for our good.

Then I'm at home going in a room invisible sexual energy is coursing through my body. Eventually awaken - I think this is one of those dreams where an anomaly should have made me lucid but then all these dreams have something completely out of place but whilst dreaming it's like these fragments of the dream are accurate just as we awake into what we call reality and think that everything is as it should be. The braingasm part was not dream induced but more to do with relaxing and I simply let go of the sensation and went with the flow.

Dream Interpretation -Dreaming about Brothers and Short Distance to Clockworks

Today's dreams involved all of my brothers.
In one dream I'm in some kind of gallery where items are like memories of different people's realities and I am browsing the pieces, some are like frames with pictures.

Next I'm looking at a map, looks like a screen showing a large scale distance and the destination which has two layers of these large clocks sliding and colliding against each other but not breaking, instead there is a light emitting as large clock pieces meet. Very cinematic something that could be recreated using CGI. There is a crowd in awe of this.
I'm telling eldest brother how it took me short amount of time to get to this place. - What I'm taking from this dream is something happening in a short amount of time, possibly something spectacular or I am expecting something to happen just like this. Dreaming about all of my brothers could also represent the relationship I have with them and have read online that it could represent the brotherhood of humankind.

Unable to recall the other dreams about other brothers as waking up from those dreams I had to get my day started quickly.

Dream recall is getting a lot better since I'm dreaming more and being able to write them down where as for some time this had stopped. I think it's the NAC supplement that is helping. I'm also sleeping a lot better. The list of health benefits from NAC is amazing and is working out for now. I'm looking forward to adding the vitamin b6 soon.

Dream Interpretation - Career Dream and Reality Connections

Career Dream
Giving out cv on tube escalator and Y was there. So many people underground packed. He's giving his cv out with such ease and confidence. I am hesitant and holding back, lacking confidence.- Dream suggestion perhaps to be confident about a career change or opportunity.


Reality Connections
Shannon Doherty is a lawyer in this office.
A young man puts in slice of ginger in window post. Unusual but she picks it up and out of kindness shows him she appreciates it by eating it. He tells her that he eats a lot of ginger. In office there's some stress. Shannon is going through a massive document. Get the sense she's was adopted and now taking on a case to prove her biological fathers innocence. Manager / boss approaches young man who is now sitting down. Boss says that Shannon first joined the office as a young Bulgarian student. He remembers first time she called office how enthusiastic and determined she was to get the job. I am viewing this dream from the perspective of young man. - Shannon Doherty played Pru in TV Series Charmed, my favorite character and one of her ability was to astral project. I have been eating lots of ginger lately to stave off a cold and so far something I'm doing is helping. There was a lot of stress in the dream but not sure how the biological father story line and how to interpret this.

Dream Interpretation - Sexual energy on the head

Woke up from a very highly sexual dream this morning. People having an orgy on the bus, they are all disturbingly horny and their animalistic behaviour did not make me feel aroused, instead there was a pulsating lump on top of my head.

As the sexual acts are increasing the energy on the top of my head is also amplifying. I have felt these sensations in the head before in the brain where it feels incredibly unbearable. At one point I recall touching the head to feel this lump which made the dream even more lucid and sensations even more unbearable. As the the sexual interaction took place the sensation of the lump on head intensified. It was like a brain orgasm but not quite. More like an excessive amount of energy being supplied in head which was just too small to contain.

- I started to understand something and I was thinking it at the time dream took place. Sex and why people are lusty is because people are after some kind of energy. Spiritual gurus have mentioned a state known as nirvana or a state of bliss. It seems somehow that sex is like a channel towards this state but is abused for sensual and lusty pleasures.

Dream Interpretation - Birth of Many Babies and Shouting

Birth of Many Babies
A came to tell me his wife just had 6 babies. I am in their room - it's different. There's so many babies and count 6, SP is holding one. All normal natural birth. She could not tell she was carrying 6 but could now feel that there are more to come out. I take one baby to care for, other family pitch in to take a baby to look after. In one scene baby I got seems really advanced  moving around as though it was already developed. Baby vomited at some point. - Not sure how I would go about interpreting this dream, perhaps it related to advancing before one is ready or commonly thought to be advanced.

Shouting
Dream moves onto relatives visiting. Cousin Lo is sitting with my sibling and her dad. My dad is calling me and I am constantly answering back but he's not hearing me. Lo thinks I am being rude when I start to shout out loud back because I'm not being heard. I open the door to show her my dad is standing right outside door. - I relate dreams of these particular cousins as detox sign. The shouting may have something to do with being not heard and it causing me frustration.

Real life dream interpretaiton

Dream interpretation can be complex, here's a few for dreams I was able to recall this morning.

Close and affectionate to child A whom in reality I'm not at all close to - it seems this dream is working out some issue

In SPs room eating her chocolate - she has two types one milk chocolate and other dark. I'm folding her clothes and wondering if I am doing it right. She walks in on me and I quickly shut chocolate drawer and  tell her I just had a few of her chocolate - SP is someone I don't get along with due to her negative and destructive attitude, the chocolate is representing chocolate binge issue I went through recently and there is a chemical in chocolate that induces the feelings of love

Walking down my street which looks slightly different I look at a door where letters have fallen. Woman from across Street picked it up. It has information about a deceased person. She closes eyes expressing sorrow and grief but keeping it together so nobody notices as if hiding something. Another woman at home answers the door to this woman. This other woman brings out a document that says duplicate. Some kind of certificate, possibly marriage. She hands it to the woman at the door - seems to be some kind of a feud between them. The document is a fake.- I wish I could interpret this dream but seems complex, a lot of it seems related to mistrust, but there's also the element of sorrow, grief and even regret.


At first this dream is about breast enhancement then suddenly some of Sho's friends and my three sisters emerge into the scene. I am pulling a luggage but trying to do it smoothly. At first using 4 wheels but then tilt to drag at which point I speed up at opposite end next to two sisters also Ro catches up telling me she is going with Sho, gonna meet her at station. Soon I am walking on a street where birds are not afraid of people. They land on them, some of them too close. At one point I am trying to shake them off. Suddenly see a big bird flesh half eaten, in shock I wake up. - This could be interpreted using bird symbology, the fear that emitted from half eaten bird flesh could be the fear of death, and the close contact of flying birds which made me agitated could also mean something but honestly have no idea what.

I did the interpretations a few days after dream, I think it is ideal to do them on the morning of recall so that message of dream is clear.

Astral tripping inside other bodies, bedroom scenes awakenings.

Last night I practiced the third eye meditation this time pointing finger right into the middle between eyebrows, once eyes were locked in closed eyes and then focused. Fell asleep until 1am and had some of the vitamin b concoction which now sometimes includes nac and around 3am I went to wash the dishes. Then back in bed after 4am, I relaxed and tried to sleep. Suddenly moving upwards this time felt more ready. It's dark still feels like night time in this other house with floral maroon wall paper. Keep thinking I'm at my sisters place and I know only my brother in law would be at home. I couldn't help but think I was there because something is wrong here, maybe BIL is having some kind of emergency. There's a lot of spinning motion as I emerge in each new surrounding. The theme seems to be night time. Soon enough I am aware of my sense of awareness/consciousness being inside different bodies and awareness waking in each of these bodies.

The Grandpa Song

Series of dreams connected to each other.

Powerful Powerless Chainsaw
Dream of a handheld chainsaw blade which was operating without any power unit, it was just a blade. I recall trying to think how it could be improved.

Then dreamt that I was high up on a building looking down. This moves me into another dream.

The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit (The Grandpa Song)
I am aware of a man in his middle age. He says something to his son who responds by saying he will go get something. There is another man who has been there the whole time in this particular dream. He looks like a homeless man, age looks 60s and bad teeth. When the boy leaves he breaks into a song. It starts off by him thanking the middle aged man for feeding and providing him shelter, at least for have given him something in the their  time together. Then it's all very movie, like a very well choreographed music video. Scene zooms into the middle aged man, the song now mentions how he wanted a grandson and suddenly middle aged man is now elderly. White hair and beard, he opens his eyes suddenly to see the image of his grandson in front of him. The song is brilliant, way too catchy and extraordinary. To me I felt like it could be a super hit. Interestingly the homeless guy looked directly at me as if wanting to tell me this story through a song. At the moment I woke up from the vividness of the vision I felt a little fear because it seemed this character had some kind of access to me. Unfortunately upon waking up I quickly forgot the lyrics and melody.

I wish I could have more of this type of dream, very creative and just amazing. It's not so much the vividness but the content of the dream that is fascinating and I guess it takes a whole lot of awareness to notice it.