Chew some salvia in the afternoon, this time cotton wool in ears relax- go so deep. we're leaving to somewhere very restricted and we've almost gained entrance but not quite, because of me so much for the cotton wool. Ears feel heavy, blocked with wool. We're all moving back now and heading for elsewhere - maybe places where I'm allowed. All going in particular direction in a queue - watch some of them go by and feel as though they were leaving my physical body and softly wonder 'hmm they - these others are a part of me' - one of the others suddenly stops moving in my direction calls the others and I'm still wondering how they are all a part of me. It felt like there consciousness were fragmented parts that made up the entire physical body. I can feel or should I say I know that they know that I'm on to something. I keep pondering. I feel they're cheering and waiting for something. 'I thought this all up' I look to another and I think 'I thought you into being' and with my mind I made it bend to my will.
I have been searching for the Creator what we might call God, the source of life as if it were external hiding in some magical shrine, somewhere up beyond the clouds like it was separate from me, that it was some other. Now I have found that Creator.
I was the One who thought my life on Earth into being, I am the Creator, the One that I've been looking for all this time was me all along. The irony of it is so beautiful it's poetic.
Hearing this from others is one thing but to know it is something else.
Thoughts shape and mold our experiences into being - nothing new I've always known this but it's the degree to which I know that has magnified. Here I am returning to the original primary identity but not so fully - some other parts come rushing in from the right side - I see they're trying to distract me from pondering deeper or doing something else - I recognize them also as a part of me, we're all connected. I sense maybe they're not keen on me remembering it entirely, I think it's too late, I know more than I will ever need to know.
They're once again taking me to scenes of a very sexual nature - don't feel at all aroused and decide this time I'm changing the course of this journey. I want to feel what it is like to be a bird, and our consciousness as an entire unit is rushing to a bird I know to be somewhere local.
This choice of bird was symbolic - I was feeling free and wanted to express it.
We've become a part of the bird. I know I'm not flying it - another in control here - I'm simply a guest - just for a while - we're flying but my perception is dimming - I can still feel as though I am embedded within the bird flying - but I don't see clearly. I state knowing the power of thoughts that my perception is clear opening up now and clearer - thoughts have to be succinct for it to work. Somehow though they are corresponding and I feel kissing pressure all over eyes.
Back now housed in PR - a bit hungry munch on snacks - I try to switch on lamp with thought alone but no - move bowl with thought alone, again no. Realize that I have to really either want it to or my thoughts have to be succinct - and I know deep down I really didn't want it.
If I want to turn it on I'll just use my hands, if I want to move bowl again I'll use my hands - but that movement of physical body is done by thought.
Tried to meditate after this but I couldn't silence my mind, pondered on the meaning of awakening.
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