1:30pm chew 2 quids - wanted to understand 'The One and Only' portrait again feeling maybe there was something I missed previously. Staring at it the beings did not bother to move this time yet I can clearly see them. Maybe not enough Salvia for them to move - no it's something else.
Closed eyes - other perception - the others perceived through another sight - like closed eyelids were a screen - they all above me uncurling - now's the moment I need to ask them something - no, need to focus on a goal - I want to see the beyond this world and that - the prime, what Buddha and Krishnamurti both touched upon. I want to see beyond and like JK said it's not really so far - the world I perceive is within me - I am in the world and the world is in me - outside projection of inside. Starting to wonder if there is a beyond - what if I'm at the beyond and I don't know it - how will I know when I've reached beyond?
I'm thinking rapidly need to ask something - for something. I ask for changes put forth the desire for good to prevail mankind - request felt bogus there - why would I ask for that? It's not real - I'm asking for a change in the unreal world - the transient. Feel somehow unworthy or maybe I was unclear- too unclear - not sure if they understood.
As usual they're inside me and yet at the same time somewhere on the outside, internal and external.
I can feel them outside in the garden and black cat I saw while ago - this cat earlier in the morning sat still watching me intently - I knew they had something to do with it - now they're giving me the sense that they're in the cat contacting me.
Open door I want to see if it is in the garden. I can sense it by dining room garden exit but door is messed up so I have to use kitchen garden door. Knock on garden door to get it to come round - not bothered really, will contact later - need to go lay down.
Door knock, answer front door so glad that I took only 2 quids. Back in bed chew the other 2 quids.
Perception of many inner activity - don't know what they're up to - I want to understand this deeper.
Something pulled and stretched and stung in left inner nostril.
I know they are a part of me - I know there's an inner world that reflects outside - a projection.
The cat incident is intriguing - this cat has been lurking in garden last night/early morning at 2:30ish am. I was startled awake coz there was a banging sound near garden door in dining room and now I recall that black cat constantly meowing.
I'm not sure if they are operating within it - just that stare I got early morning, it was intense, deep and penetrating.
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