I am absolutely certain that this is not mere paranoia.
Lately when I have written comments on other blogs related to Salvia exploration they somehow just delete, the worst part is they are usually the longest comments. It's so irritating. The same incident took place again today. I get this feeling that specific beings that I've encountered with Salvia do not want me participating in these discussions. The question is why? My guess is collectively we are cracking some kind of secret code.
It is interesting because just before I decided to look for other explorers I was trying to re label some entheogen posts and ended up deleting the more incredible posts that I feel were important. Luckily I found a backup which took so much effort going through.
Another interesting thing occurring is the number phenomena, usually they have started off with the standard 11:11. Now it's still the same but with the addition of other consecutive numbers 2:22, 3:33 4:44.
I think there is a message behind these, like a morse code via the use of numbers.
Some of my most significant posts are not being read, I feel the need to highlight them here. These I did not encounter during my Salvia excursions. What happened during one Salvia incident was that I was experiencing a phenomena known as pareidolia. Only the pareidolia under Salvia effects move, it is a schizophrenic attribute.
I have a feeling there might be something more to this. Eventually I was immersed in this whole pareidolia phenomena - I started to observe it in NASA images and discovered that there is some kind of message in them regarding natural disasters - they're all of course visual.
Here are what I feel are some of my more important posts.
Australia Flood
Interpreting Natural Disasters
The beings have previously been disappointed in me sharing this. I still wonder what harm could this possibly do. Later on I checked images of star systems and these were just spectacular, you could see a kind of story in them. One that I recall was of a man lying unconscious with several other beings surrounding and observing him - maybe there's something more to it. As of yet I'm not sharing these ones.
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Friday, 15 November 2013
Heartgasm
At around 5pm. I had some soaked Salvia remains, about two teaspoon full. To compost or chew was the question? Obviously I decided to chew it. It was sitting there for a day, I couldn't imagine it being at all effective.
Once done with the chewing there were subtle sensations. My face was heating up and I realized I've been feeling this heat quite a bit on Salvia. I think Salvia is stimulating the nervous system, heating burning has a cleansing effect. I feel a sharp pain directly in the right ear drums and heat.
I relax and get into bed. Close eyes meditate. The beings are demonstrating how they operate sexual activity. Quite literally I'm gathering the understanding or should I say I am behind the scenes of sexual activity. I have written about this before, this time the understanding is a lot clearer. Certain specific groups are behind the whole sexual heat, certain others following sexual motions and then those sensations. They're movements are pattern based.
I burst out laughing, just laughing that people have no idea that these little tiny beings make the sexual act what it is. It is like little tiny workers behind the process, and always the same ones in everyone's sexual activities. I don't know why they revealed this to me.
Soon enough despite realizing what went behind the sexual act I was slightly aroused. Immediately there was a sensation of complete pain. They were producing the pain sensation maybe so I don't do anything about it. I got this sense that they were making me feel sexual pain that others were feeling.
Later I had what I can only describe as heartgasms. Pleasurable yet unbearable.
Once done with the chewing there were subtle sensations. My face was heating up and I realized I've been feeling this heat quite a bit on Salvia. I think Salvia is stimulating the nervous system, heating burning has a cleansing effect. I feel a sharp pain directly in the right ear drums and heat.
I relax and get into bed. Close eyes meditate. The beings are demonstrating how they operate sexual activity. Quite literally I'm gathering the understanding or should I say I am behind the scenes of sexual activity. I have written about this before, this time the understanding is a lot clearer. Certain specific groups are behind the whole sexual heat, certain others following sexual motions and then those sensations. They're movements are pattern based.
I burst out laughing, just laughing that people have no idea that these little tiny beings make the sexual act what it is. It is like little tiny workers behind the process, and always the same ones in everyone's sexual activities. I don't know why they revealed this to me.
Soon enough despite realizing what went behind the sexual act I was slightly aroused. Immediately there was a sensation of complete pain. They were producing the pain sensation maybe so I don't do anything about it. I got this sense that they were making me feel sexual pain that others were feeling.
Later I had what I can only describe as heartgasms. Pleasurable yet unbearable.
Thursday, 14 November 2013
Direct Influence from Beings
This morning after cleaning out deceased cat litter and emptying out her things I chewed Salvia.
They have complete sovereign over what happens to the physical body - it is like they are part of the material aspect - meaning it doesn't matter if it is a body or a chair - there is energy of essence behind what appears to us as physical material stuff.
It is so hard to describe what it's like seeing them, how they unfold.For the most part what I've deemed 'my' which isn't even 'my' physical body, they can and do have control over it.
I couldn't go deeper, because there was no deeper. I felt or I was behaving like I was hungry because I didn't want to break apart - I didn't want to forget the feelings of the body the association of worldly feeling. I started to think maybe now was a bad time. Something I should note - with the chewing method I can break out of Salvia state, to bring myself back to so called consensus reality easily. With the extract I have a feelling this will be tough.
I felt them directly changing the physical cords of physical body, as well as physical environment.
There was the usual external surrounding coming to life, fluttering, seeing outlines of beings moving about etc.
The energy pattern of several of my relatives were present, in particular I recognized the pattern of my sister whom I'm collaborating with on several projects. I saw immediately our latest incredibly creative genius ideas having been directly influenced by these beings. They directly contribute. We are having an amazing amount of synchronicities, really incredible profound things occurring in our lives, I saw these beings as a part of that process. There was this undeniable sense that I have to make sister aware.
How could I do it? Make her smoke Salvia? That would be interesting and easy since she has already done it once but I can't imagine she could make sense of the experience. Is it possible that when I go through the shift someone near me can feel it to some degree. Suppose this other person was just as sensitive it is possible they could directly feel something without taking Salvia themselves. I have read about the phenomena.
There is this urge that her being aware and directly knowing will make her next moves potent, powerful creating.
Directly collaborating with these beings. I have spoken of our other selves and mentioned about Higher Selves in other experiences, here in this experience I felt seperated from it in a sense. The feeeling is different.
Speaking of feeling, last night I got the sense my mind was making it feel stuff, meaning my body was just a kind of feeling. Everything is some kind of feeling. Slept late and my brain was frying again - it was like the familiar drilling sensation and noise from other times. With it I felt, the body was some kind of feeling and I was feeling it out.
Yesterday the family cat was put down I spoke to sister in her room about cat last night. Her light was constantly flickering. We both looked at each other knowing it was her. I told her that when someone close to you passes away electric disturbance is common. Also we both heard a purr.
Interestingly I did not sense anything to do with the cat in this Salvia session, I was expecting it.
It has been lingering on my mind - to have a contact with Universal Mind and I've read another post which has brought my attention to it. I was thinking about it last night, a momentary profound moment.
Me and my partners in the creative process absolutely determined and completely set with the unfolding that it has become so real, yet behind it I kept being aware of the Universal Intelligence - I was applying that feeling to successfully making contact with this - it was contacting this that all worldly endeavors. Contacting this was the ultimate on my mind.
What I'm doing earth wise was nothing compared to this element it is like in everyone's life this was the end. An end to what? An end to limitation. Everything we do whether we are creating an artwork or any inventions it was from the level of limitation. In the unlimited arena - anything is possible? It is from this 'anything is possible' arena that this beautiful Earth came to be.
My ears hurt they have done things to the body once again, for some reason lately it is getting painful - contact with them.
Salvia is getting difficult to use, the interference is usually due to my inability to let go of the body. I know all association with the body directly is ending and in that phenomena I can't let it go. I think I'm trying to bridge the gap where I can hold on to both states.
Something always happens to the breathing, during and after Salvia. It becomes lighter and fuller.
I intend to try the extract soon.
They have complete sovereign over what happens to the physical body - it is like they are part of the material aspect - meaning it doesn't matter if it is a body or a chair - there is energy of essence behind what appears to us as physical material stuff.
It is so hard to describe what it's like seeing them, how they unfold.For the most part what I've deemed 'my' which isn't even 'my' physical body, they can and do have control over it.
I couldn't go deeper, because there was no deeper. I felt or I was behaving like I was hungry because I didn't want to break apart - I didn't want to forget the feelings of the body the association of worldly feeling. I started to think maybe now was a bad time. Something I should note - with the chewing method I can break out of Salvia state, to bring myself back to so called consensus reality easily. With the extract I have a feelling this will be tough.
I felt them directly changing the physical cords of physical body, as well as physical environment.
There was the usual external surrounding coming to life, fluttering, seeing outlines of beings moving about etc.
The energy pattern of several of my relatives were present, in particular I recognized the pattern of my sister whom I'm collaborating with on several projects. I saw immediately our latest incredibly creative genius ideas having been directly influenced by these beings. They directly contribute. We are having an amazing amount of synchronicities, really incredible profound things occurring in our lives, I saw these beings as a part of that process. There was this undeniable sense that I have to make sister aware.
How could I do it? Make her smoke Salvia? That would be interesting and easy since she has already done it once but I can't imagine she could make sense of the experience. Is it possible that when I go through the shift someone near me can feel it to some degree. Suppose this other person was just as sensitive it is possible they could directly feel something without taking Salvia themselves. I have read about the phenomena.
There is this urge that her being aware and directly knowing will make her next moves potent, powerful creating.
Directly collaborating with these beings. I have spoken of our other selves and mentioned about Higher Selves in other experiences, here in this experience I felt seperated from it in a sense. The feeeling is different.
Speaking of feeling, last night I got the sense my mind was making it feel stuff, meaning my body was just a kind of feeling. Everything is some kind of feeling. Slept late and my brain was frying again - it was like the familiar drilling sensation and noise from other times. With it I felt, the body was some kind of feeling and I was feeling it out.
Yesterday the family cat was put down I spoke to sister in her room about cat last night. Her light was constantly flickering. We both looked at each other knowing it was her. I told her that when someone close to you passes away electric disturbance is common. Also we both heard a purr.
Interestingly I did not sense anything to do with the cat in this Salvia session, I was expecting it.
It has been lingering on my mind - to have a contact with Universal Mind and I've read another post which has brought my attention to it. I was thinking about it last night, a momentary profound moment.
Me and my partners in the creative process absolutely determined and completely set with the unfolding that it has become so real, yet behind it I kept being aware of the Universal Intelligence - I was applying that feeling to successfully making contact with this - it was contacting this that all worldly endeavors. Contacting this was the ultimate on my mind.
What I'm doing earth wise was nothing compared to this element it is like in everyone's life this was the end. An end to what? An end to limitation. Everything we do whether we are creating an artwork or any inventions it was from the level of limitation. In the unlimited arena - anything is possible? It is from this 'anything is possible' arena that this beautiful Earth came to be.
My ears hurt they have done things to the body once again, for some reason lately it is getting painful - contact with them.
Salvia is getting difficult to use, the interference is usually due to my inability to let go of the body. I know all association with the body directly is ending and in that phenomena I can't let it go. I think I'm trying to bridge the gap where I can hold on to both states.
Something always happens to the breathing, during and after Salvia. It becomes lighter and fuller.
I intend to try the extract soon.
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
Realistic Real Life Dream Event
Had a dream this morning, it felt so real. The kind of dream you wake up from screaming and shouting.
The dream concerned another person who I seem to be clashing with, one of the worst relationships I've had to date. For the past year it has been an ongoing cycle of clashing.
In the dream I'm trying to prove a point to everyone I know about this person. Things turn a little aggressive on my part.
All I can say is that I'm working through it trying to remain indifferent to the situation, just let it be. Maybe my dream is only reflecting what my mind has been occupied with past two days, past year actually.
I'm amazed I've recalled this dream as for the longest time now it would seem that there are no dreams.
The dream concerned another person who I seem to be clashing with, one of the worst relationships I've had to date. For the past year it has been an ongoing cycle of clashing.
In the dream I'm trying to prove a point to everyone I know about this person. Things turn a little aggressive on my part.
All I can say is that I'm working through it trying to remain indifferent to the situation, just let it be. Maybe my dream is only reflecting what my mind has been occupied with past two days, past year actually.
I'm amazed I've recalled this dream as for the longest time now it would seem that there are no dreams.
Fasting Update
I stopped fasting from Sunday evening, also decided not to use Salvia. Feel like at this time I am not meant to, will wait it out.
One thing that has been clear to me that whatever Salvia accomplishes or allows us to see can and is possible without the herb.
Sunday evening as I relaxed in complete darkness the atmosphere was shifting almost in a Salvia sense. There was some resistance on my part.
I have been thinking that with Salvia I have become comfortable having the unusual experiences. I don't think I would be afraid of suddenly going into Salvia zone without Salvia only I would probably be fascinated as if I were having the experience for the first time.
Latest fasting has only revealed that I can actually do without eating a lot, in fact last week has been my most creative week. I think I will stick with interval fasting.
One thing that has been clear to me that whatever Salvia accomplishes or allows us to see can and is possible without the herb.
Sunday evening as I relaxed in complete darkness the atmosphere was shifting almost in a Salvia sense. There was some resistance on my part.
I have been thinking that with Salvia I have become comfortable having the unusual experiences. I don't think I would be afraid of suddenly going into Salvia zone without Salvia only I would probably be fascinated as if I were having the experience for the first time.
Latest fasting has only revealed that I can actually do without eating a lot, in fact last week has been my most creative week. I think I will stick with interval fasting.
Thursday, 7 November 2013
Fasting and The Body
Fasting is going smoothly, although I have had a craving for some kind of flavour. This isn't a pure fast in that initially I subsist on juices and teas. The next phase I soothe into the flow and allow only water.
I think one of the important aspect of a fast is trust. A trust or surrender completely in the power that has created water, air and sun. Surely it by this very power that the forms of human beings came to be.And so it goes without saying that this same power also has the capacity to nourish and power the human body so that it is operating to the highest standards.
Having said all that, I do like to eat. Especially being an excellent cook. The past few years I've only been eating to live with occasions of living to eat simply because I enjoy flavour.
When I go in Salvia world and have those direct knowings, regarding food and the survival of the body - this is what I receive: The body does not survive directly via external means. Its sustenance is due to whatever sustains the world and as such it is this same force that takes care of the body but due to our conditioned beliefs the body has to adapt in accordance to whatever those beliefs may be.
There is more to fasting, such as meditating, reflecting and contemplation. One thing that I find naturally occurring is simply being with what is present, it is pretty much Krishnamurti's instruction and there is also mention of this in the Shurangama Sutra.
A general theme I have noticed in all the scriptures whether it is by Ramana Maharshi, Buddha or Krishnamurti is to observe what is before you without naming it, without the psychological screening.
I am trying to allow more time for the body movements, which are changing. Last night the head moved differently rather than rotating. It's basically bouncing and a lot of emphasis placed on the left side. There was also inner movements in the left leg which seemed directly connected to the head movement. Some pain present near neck left side, a small ball of pain.
Another new movement has been the head shake, it comes on suddenly and vigorously. Last night it was not as dramatic and I have a feeling it may be almost done - whatever the shakes purpose is, it's almost complete.
I think one of the important aspect of a fast is trust. A trust or surrender completely in the power that has created water, air and sun. Surely it by this very power that the forms of human beings came to be.And so it goes without saying that this same power also has the capacity to nourish and power the human body so that it is operating to the highest standards.
Having said all that, I do like to eat. Especially being an excellent cook. The past few years I've only been eating to live with occasions of living to eat simply because I enjoy flavour.
When I go in Salvia world and have those direct knowings, regarding food and the survival of the body - this is what I receive: The body does not survive directly via external means. Its sustenance is due to whatever sustains the world and as such it is this same force that takes care of the body but due to our conditioned beliefs the body has to adapt in accordance to whatever those beliefs may be.
There is more to fasting, such as meditating, reflecting and contemplation. One thing that I find naturally occurring is simply being with what is present, it is pretty much Krishnamurti's instruction and there is also mention of this in the Shurangama Sutra.
A general theme I have noticed in all the scriptures whether it is by Ramana Maharshi, Buddha or Krishnamurti is to observe what is before you without naming it, without the psychological screening.
I am trying to allow more time for the body movements, which are changing. Last night the head moved differently rather than rotating. It's basically bouncing and a lot of emphasis placed on the left side. There was also inner movements in the left leg which seemed directly connected to the head movement. Some pain present near neck left side, a small ball of pain.
Another new movement has been the head shake, it comes on suddenly and vigorously. Last night it was not as dramatic and I have a feeling it may be almost done - whatever the shakes purpose is, it's almost complete.
Sunday, 3 November 2013
Fasting Urgency
Yesterday evening Salvia session was by far the worst experience I've had.
I ate small amounts prior to the session. Past few days have been eating very little. At the moment of chewing I felt a little uneasy and nasueous.
Finally finished chewing, there was that common fluttering only the sensations were stronger, felt like the fluttering was beating into my head.
Lights off and in complete darkness aware of the other beings. I go deeper, have to be silent. There is an opening of some kind that I'm about to enter this is where the world known as Earth ends. Losing myself more this time. Everything taken apart, dismembering process for the physical body. I hold onto some aspect of Earth in the ending process, can't let it go. Recalling something about the body, something wrong. Then I try to recall the feelings of having a body since Salvia has managed to wipe it out completely. I start to slowly feel my mouth once again - there is a fake quality about the sensations like consciousness or awareness wearing just a little of the clothing. Once worn completely it feels like you are the clothing.
Starting to feel odd sensation, very naseous now. Something happening to the stomach region, beings doing something here. A squeezing sensation. I get up knowing very well that I need to throw up. Movements are wobbly but I manage to get to the toilet and there I vomit the entire content of my stomach which was suprisingly a lot.
Two more times they are pumping the stomach and I throw up each time. Unbelievable amount of stuff coming out.
It wasn't just gut cleansing, there was also a cleansing of the bowels. I tried to relax after this vowing that I will never take Salvia again. They were doing more things to the stomach. At the center of the digestive region there was a kind of energetic charge focused. This moved along to the heart region. The stomach sensations were particularly unbearable. I was inviting sleep, waiting to forget everything.
This morning I had time to reflect what this all meant. I think they're trying to give me a head start to fasting, it seems more urgent than ever before that I do this but almost religiously. I was at the point where I decided maybe I just can't take Salvia anymore, but I think more than that I want nothing to do with food. So now with this complete lack of appetite fasting will be a lot smoother.
Fasting starts from today.
I ate small amounts prior to the session. Past few days have been eating very little. At the moment of chewing I felt a little uneasy and nasueous.
Finally finished chewing, there was that common fluttering only the sensations were stronger, felt like the fluttering was beating into my head.
Lights off and in complete darkness aware of the other beings. I go deeper, have to be silent. There is an opening of some kind that I'm about to enter this is where the world known as Earth ends. Losing myself more this time. Everything taken apart, dismembering process for the physical body. I hold onto some aspect of Earth in the ending process, can't let it go. Recalling something about the body, something wrong. Then I try to recall the feelings of having a body since Salvia has managed to wipe it out completely. I start to slowly feel my mouth once again - there is a fake quality about the sensations like consciousness or awareness wearing just a little of the clothing. Once worn completely it feels like you are the clothing.
Starting to feel odd sensation, very naseous now. Something happening to the stomach region, beings doing something here. A squeezing sensation. I get up knowing very well that I need to throw up. Movements are wobbly but I manage to get to the toilet and there I vomit the entire content of my stomach which was suprisingly a lot.
Two more times they are pumping the stomach and I throw up each time. Unbelievable amount of stuff coming out.
It wasn't just gut cleansing, there was also a cleansing of the bowels. I tried to relax after this vowing that I will never take Salvia again. They were doing more things to the stomach. At the center of the digestive region there was a kind of energetic charge focused. This moved along to the heart region. The stomach sensations were particularly unbearable. I was inviting sleep, waiting to forget everything.
This morning I had time to reflect what this all meant. I think they're trying to give me a head start to fasting, it seems more urgent than ever before that I do this but almost religiously. I was at the point where I decided maybe I just can't take Salvia anymore, but I think more than that I want nothing to do with food. So now with this complete lack of appetite fasting will be a lot smoother.
Fasting starts from today.
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