Smoked 10x extract yesterday evening. As I put the pipe down the effects were taking place immediately. Moving about I felt quite lucky that I was able to move freely in that state, got a sense that not everyone has this ability. I do however sit down as the body takes on a very dummy toy like quality. I could feel that I should close eyes but resist and observe and wonder how it is I keep falling back into this spellbound world. How my previous and all other actions would suggest that I've fallen for a trick.There I am in that state, but that state is not very different to this state. I'm still in the physical consensus reality yet what has changed is my perception.
The only way to describe the state is there is this complete fearlessness, with that comes great power with a sense of anything being possible yet there is nothing that is desired in that state. Again I started to hold onto the illusory self, Jasmine. There was also a focus on recent desires born from this character, it was powerful and today I see some of the manifestations taking place, very subtle. Ordinarily it would have been barely noticeable, but when observant you can see how whatever takes place in any given moment was somehow carefully orchestrated.
The body sensations were stronger. A pulsating magnetic pulling sensations all over the body. Peripheral vision vibrating around the eyes. I haven't timed how long this trip lasted but it's definitely not as long as quidding.
I've been resisting closing eyes in latest trips, but the urgency to keep them closed has become stronger.
One question that remains is, how is it I go into these deep states breaking through illusions only to return deluding myself even more? What is it that causes it?
The answer is desire causes us to be deluded, I know it sounds like something I've taken out of the Upanishads. Desire keeps us bound to the world of illusions.
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