Just a few leaves rolled, one quid. The body is controlled, the force has come through I can feel it inside. A gripping sensation in the middle of the chest. It is through this force that everything is happening. I see them in the surrounding, they're inside the blood. Inside the whole system called the body. I need to keep reminding myself I'm not the body, in Salvia state it's clearly so but there's this feeling of being possessed. I was alarmed that I'm having this kind of effect with just one quid.
I look at the mirror at my eyes, they are closing. I look scary and wondered why I look like that until I realized the body is shutting down as if it was dying. The forces come through.
How to explain how I see them, I ponder this. It's like they're hiding all around, but they're not hiding, basically we just cannot see them. It's been set up like that and I don't know why. My guess is to experience what we are experiencing, something we are suppose to learn but even that does not sound quite right.
Had a discussion with sister about religion and stuff and I thought of her, there's something I wanted to say to her, I wished somehow I could show this and I kept repeating to myself that I'll help her to see this.
I told the others around me that I'm going to a movie event soon this week and for them to support me. It seemed like something I didn't need to ask for like whatever I wanted it was so, even felt odd to ask. I am still in that state as I write this. Typing very fast, they don't want me to write anymore. I feel possessed at some stage my head wanted to go down forward on my fingers typing on the keyboard and it seemed to want to kiss my hands, in fact my head moved down and rested on the hands.
They can turn the body off at any time, it is this energy that makes everything so. I could see shadows and light taking on a new depth, and it's almost like they're seeping through and composed of matter all around, or is matter composed of these beings. I imagine telling someone about this and how what I'm seeing is so clearly visible and how anyone can see it, I might be told that it's all my imagination, that it is my mind creating these images and that I'm hallucinating because of the effects of this herb but that is exactly my point. I find myself wanting to proclaim the same exact statement to everyone when it comes to the consensus reality. I need to be careful with how much I reveal, especially with them very active within this body.
The world that you see before you is a hallucination, it's like a dream and when you wake up from the dream you don't wake somewhere else but only within the dream and the dream is the reality. Reality is a dream! That doesn't mean that reality is an illusion, reality is very very real.
It's interesting while this type of Salvia experience is not new, I have gone through this many times but each time the quality is changing. It's like with each Salvia trip there's a new clarity that did not exist before.
----The discussion I had with my sister was about religion, how it is all bogus. She was adamant about things that seemed to be facts to her. I recall telling her that really we do not know what the facts are and I started to see that those who were against certain religions were just as blinded by it just as those who have great faith in religions. We are so filled with opinions. I recall wanting to express something about this to get through to her although we were not having any kind of debate.
After this Salvia session I had a little more to chew but had to spit it out quickly. At this point I was having sudden knowns presented in my mind which was related to my earlier discussion with sister. The thought was that Jesus and Mohammed as well as all other prophets were not messengers of God, instead they were actually Gods in disguise. I had this feeling that because of the times in which they existed they did not come out in the open, at least not 100%, or perhaps they did and all that is written in religious scriptures are anecdotes most of which are fabricated.
Monday, 21 July 2014
Friday, 18 July 2014
Practicing Natural Magic
Last night I soaked enough leaves to roll up two quids. Yesterday was a very hot day, my concern with Salvia was dehydration. Even though I was drinking plenty of water Salvia acts very fast on the kidneys. Some of the latest stuff that have been occuring with Salvia is sensations in the eyes and even what I feel like are the kidneys.
It's Ramadan and I have been fasting, only past few days have been unable to fast.
I got started on the quids as usual not sure what to expect, it's been a while since I've used the quidding method. After processing second quid, I lie down on the bed with door open. Lying down eyes closed, I let go. I'm aware of everything all around me both external and internal in one space. In particular the body seems to be composed of beings, the entire body is like parts of different factories with different types of workers. Then there are the elements all around the space that feels and appears to be the same as the external.
As usual there are other beings wandering in this space, almost as if they've come to observe. Eyes are still closed and I can see (visually, but also a kind of mental perception that is hard to describe) that the beings are curious about others around me. I sense they're watching one of my sisters. I sense her walking past my door, also that she wants to come in but something prevents her, some thought perhaps. After a moment of her distraction she opened the door. My eyes still closed, I assume she thinks I'm sleeping. I go deeper and deeper feeling the ending process. There were bodily sensations present, one particular one was the migraine and intense pressure I was feeling earlier. I felt the beings behind it.
The physical life and everything being wiped out. I understand this better now, it is not that the external world is ending but the entire mental imagery that gives birth to it disappears meaning memories are being wiped out. It was all disappearing, the impact this was having on the brain and the sensations were intense.
The beings do something to alarm me which I can't seem to recall, but it makes me open my eyes especially as I try to recall my life. I see them clearly with eyes open as if they've been very much visible in that space the whole time. Again I get that inspiration for the movie, a perfect scene which I know would be impossible to recreate. My eyes want to keep closing. I see my sister seated in the opposite side of the room looking down at her phone. It was odd.
The functions of the brain feel like they are ceasing to be. It all felt so wrong. I got up a few times trying to compose, fortunately sister was out of the room by this time.
Again I felt that raw sense of power. Recently I have been watching a show about witches, but I wasn't thinking about it until the beings bought it up. My curiosity sparked and I knew how and what made magic work. It turns out magic is not really all that magical. I tried to make commands, placed my hands over the salt lamp beside me and clicked my finger signalling for them to turn it on. I'm definitely doing something wrong but in my free time this is something I could play with. I think the key is to be in that state. We only need to use switches because we think we need to, it's part of our conditioning.
Magic is not really what my main focus is. I need to be able to go deeper on Salvia but there is this major discomfort that occurs mostly in the head region. After yesterday's trip I couldn't sleep, fidgeting and trying to shake off whatever was happening to the brain. Also I can't seem to describe what was happening to the brain.
I need to chew the quids slowly next time, have found a guide that explains this thoroughly.
Salvia Guide
It's Ramadan and I have been fasting, only past few days have been unable to fast.
I got started on the quids as usual not sure what to expect, it's been a while since I've used the quidding method. After processing second quid, I lie down on the bed with door open. Lying down eyes closed, I let go. I'm aware of everything all around me both external and internal in one space. In particular the body seems to be composed of beings, the entire body is like parts of different factories with different types of workers. Then there are the elements all around the space that feels and appears to be the same as the external.
As usual there are other beings wandering in this space, almost as if they've come to observe. Eyes are still closed and I can see (visually, but also a kind of mental perception that is hard to describe) that the beings are curious about others around me. I sense they're watching one of my sisters. I sense her walking past my door, also that she wants to come in but something prevents her, some thought perhaps. After a moment of her distraction she opened the door. My eyes still closed, I assume she thinks I'm sleeping. I go deeper and deeper feeling the ending process. There were bodily sensations present, one particular one was the migraine and intense pressure I was feeling earlier. I felt the beings behind it.
The physical life and everything being wiped out. I understand this better now, it is not that the external world is ending but the entire mental imagery that gives birth to it disappears meaning memories are being wiped out. It was all disappearing, the impact this was having on the brain and the sensations were intense.
The beings do something to alarm me which I can't seem to recall, but it makes me open my eyes especially as I try to recall my life. I see them clearly with eyes open as if they've been very much visible in that space the whole time. Again I get that inspiration for the movie, a perfect scene which I know would be impossible to recreate. My eyes want to keep closing. I see my sister seated in the opposite side of the room looking down at her phone. It was odd.
The functions of the brain feel like they are ceasing to be. It all felt so wrong. I got up a few times trying to compose, fortunately sister was out of the room by this time.
Again I felt that raw sense of power. Recently I have been watching a show about witches, but I wasn't thinking about it until the beings bought it up. My curiosity sparked and I knew how and what made magic work. It turns out magic is not really all that magical. I tried to make commands, placed my hands over the salt lamp beside me and clicked my finger signalling for them to turn it on. I'm definitely doing something wrong but in my free time this is something I could play with. I think the key is to be in that state. We only need to use switches because we think we need to, it's part of our conditioning.
Magic is not really what my main focus is. I need to be able to go deeper on Salvia but there is this major discomfort that occurs mostly in the head region. After yesterday's trip I couldn't sleep, fidgeting and trying to shake off whatever was happening to the brain. Also I can't seem to describe what was happening to the brain.
I need to chew the quids slowly next time, have found a guide that explains this thoroughly.
Salvia Guide
Saturday, 28 June 2014
The Presence on Salvia
Smoked 10x extract around 3:30pm.
The transition happens within a few seconds, still in my room but senses operating more rapidly. It seems nothing in the surroundings change but the senses themselves go through some kind of transformation. I am sure that what we are viewing now as the world and all the many objects contained within it is simply a distortion of the senses.
I sit on the bed and that presence is there, it feels to me as though it has sensed me. There is something very magnificent about this presence phenomena. In that state I'm aware that it comes to those who are like the dead, actually who are dead to this world. Did it make its selection who gets to be aware of it? Was I chosen to be aware of it?
I think about how to explain this experience, it seems to know what is about to happen before it happens, how? It is making those things happen, this thing knows its own script. I think about how to write about all this and at the same time sensing it knowing what I'm about to do and at the same time knowing that it is scripting every move I make.
I ponder deeply whether this thing selects people to have this awareness. My understanding is this, tt is available to all, but only those who are not absorbed by the world are aware of it. Those who are absorbed by the world are blind to it.
Salvia is temporarily lifting the blindfold.
At some point I tried to go deeper by closing the eyes but instead I was switching off whatever was switched on. Even on 20x I was able to do this.
The transition happens within a few seconds, still in my room but senses operating more rapidly. It seems nothing in the surroundings change but the senses themselves go through some kind of transformation. I am sure that what we are viewing now as the world and all the many objects contained within it is simply a distortion of the senses.
I sit on the bed and that presence is there, it feels to me as though it has sensed me. There is something very magnificent about this presence phenomena. In that state I'm aware that it comes to those who are like the dead, actually who are dead to this world. Did it make its selection who gets to be aware of it? Was I chosen to be aware of it?
I think about how to explain this experience, it seems to know what is about to happen before it happens, how? It is making those things happen, this thing knows its own script. I think about how to write about all this and at the same time sensing it knowing what I'm about to do and at the same time knowing that it is scripting every move I make.
I ponder deeply whether this thing selects people to have this awareness. My understanding is this, tt is available to all, but only those who are not absorbed by the world are aware of it. Those who are absorbed by the world are blind to it.
Salvia is temporarily lifting the blindfold.
At some point I tried to go deeper by closing the eyes but instead I was switching off whatever was switched on. Even on 20x I was able to do this.
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
The Sunset Hill
Around 6:30pm, with the weather being warm decided to head out for the park with Salvia ready. First 30 or 40 minutes sunbathing before starting chewing process. At this time the sun was too intense to do the sun gazing.
Chew the first salvia quid and within a few minutes I desperately need to pee, so I head for the bushes. Back on my spot I chew the second quid and slowly the transition occurs. A 60ish year old man walks up the hill almost in a drunk manner. It felt odd as he walked in my direction in that drunken floppy way I felt he was like me in the same state that I was in and he knew. As he passed by I was almost certain he wanted to come up to me and tell me something. Soon enough I see a dog nearby. I stand up just to make the owner aware of my presence, silly of me to think that would deter the dog or his owner from approaching. I smiled and let them walk by without the dog acting out.
Sitting back down I knew I would not be able to close eyes. I just simply observed, the sun was still too intense to gaze at. I looked all around me just observing everything around me. In particular my focus were on the trees, they were as alive as I was. The trees were like people, I had this sense that they did feel frightened whenever approached by tree choppers. The black dog sat under the tree relaxing, the tree was dusting something on the dog and at the same time communicating. There was definitely something being done to the dog. A few minutes later the dog pees near a younger tree and I was aware that its urine was to be picked up by the tree taking in information. Amongst the scattered trees there was one that was the tallest. It had silvery leaves and it glimmered as the rays of the sun played with the dancing branches. I felt deeply connected to these trees, it was such a shame that people, including myself are too busy to even look at or even ponder for a moment the meaning of these creations.
There's a hill to my left where the sun illuminated it in such a way it looked like some kind of special altar. It was almost like it was calling me but I had no intention to get up. I was absolutely in no state to walk that distance until a cyclist came up the hill I was seated on followed by the most scariest viscious looking dog. Some dogs are cute and friendly looking, others like this dog - not so pretty. I did not hesitate to grab my things and get moving. With my bare feet on the earth I was suprised how balanced I felt. I was headed for the altar hill, earlier there were people on here and now it was cleared. I lay down on the lush green carpet of grass and felt so comfortable. Too comfortable I could have slept there. I look to my left where I see a man smoking, he starts to walk in my direction and seats himself about 5 meters away from me. His smoke is blowing in my direction. Standing up agitated I get to the bottom of the hill and walk barefeet towards another hill. It feels so natural walking barefeet. There are two guys I've seen earlier with a white dog. They are staring in my direction and I sense them eye goggling which irritates me a little but I walk on and just as I pass them my trainer shoes fall out of the bag unsure of how that happened. I burst out laughing almost unable to control my laughter, I thought stuff like that only happened in movies. This one in particular would be a comedy.
Moving on I approach the other hill I look to my left at the sun set, mesmerized by the phenomena I'm witnessing here. At this moment I'm not sure what to say of it, while the memory is still there I can't seem to find the right words. My attempt will be like someone was holding a lamp, and that lamp was the sun. This is such a poor attempt at describing it. I couldn't remove my gaze and I didn't seem to care that to onlookers I appeared to look like a lunatic. I'll have to call this hill the sunset hill. As it is from this hill where the sunset can be seen almost close up. I plop myself down on the grass, which is patchy here, the earth here is also rocky and hard unlike the altar hill. Regardless there's this major urge to close my eyes. I relax and go deeper, the beings here seem different. Though the sun is setting it was still a bit too intense to stare at. I keep eyes closed, a few times I felt the need to remain absolutely still. There was some external distractions, a few women walking up the hill, looked like some kind of physiotherapy exercise. There were some people running up and down the hill, which would startle me because the sound of them exhausted sounds similar to wild dogs running.
Observed by the beings, something deeper was going on.
There was a moment where I felt a deep sense of appreciation for how freely the sun gave of itself. I sit up at some point, stare at the sun, it is easier to gaze now. Suddenly a major sensation is present in the abdomen, like a stabbing from the inside. I feel some of the organs here swelling, touching abdomen feels hard. I could feel I need to stay still and endure as much as I possibly could. A short while later I need to get up and get moving, feel like my bladder is about to burst, fortunately find a bush to pee near and head home. Some interesting things have happened since this incident. When I close my eyes sudden scenes of people show up. There is a forming mental image every time I close eyes and relax and I find that its possible to enter these scenes and become a part of them. There are pressures in the head, and several times now have had this signal to take time out and nap. Today napping the scenes appeared at the same time the deeper I relaxed the head thrashing has started again.
While this actually seems like a rather uneventful incident I thought about it for a while and realized that I was being guided or more like nudged to move in a particular direction. First I would not have moved from my starting point, the usual hill that I think I should call the Dog Hill had it not been for that scary mean looking dog. Then from the Altar Hill I would not have moved to what seemed to be the final destination, the Sunset Hill had it not been for the smoker blowing smoke in my face. Now I'm aware that my next trip has to take place on the Sunset Hill.
Chew the first salvia quid and within a few minutes I desperately need to pee, so I head for the bushes. Back on my spot I chew the second quid and slowly the transition occurs. A 60ish year old man walks up the hill almost in a drunk manner. It felt odd as he walked in my direction in that drunken floppy way I felt he was like me in the same state that I was in and he knew. As he passed by I was almost certain he wanted to come up to me and tell me something. Soon enough I see a dog nearby. I stand up just to make the owner aware of my presence, silly of me to think that would deter the dog or his owner from approaching. I smiled and let them walk by without the dog acting out.
Sitting back down I knew I would not be able to close eyes. I just simply observed, the sun was still too intense to gaze at. I looked all around me just observing everything around me. In particular my focus were on the trees, they were as alive as I was. The trees were like people, I had this sense that they did feel frightened whenever approached by tree choppers. The black dog sat under the tree relaxing, the tree was dusting something on the dog and at the same time communicating. There was definitely something being done to the dog. A few minutes later the dog pees near a younger tree and I was aware that its urine was to be picked up by the tree taking in information. Amongst the scattered trees there was one that was the tallest. It had silvery leaves and it glimmered as the rays of the sun played with the dancing branches. I felt deeply connected to these trees, it was such a shame that people, including myself are too busy to even look at or even ponder for a moment the meaning of these creations.
There's a hill to my left where the sun illuminated it in such a way it looked like some kind of special altar. It was almost like it was calling me but I had no intention to get up. I was absolutely in no state to walk that distance until a cyclist came up the hill I was seated on followed by the most scariest viscious looking dog. Some dogs are cute and friendly looking, others like this dog - not so pretty. I did not hesitate to grab my things and get moving. With my bare feet on the earth I was suprised how balanced I felt. I was headed for the altar hill, earlier there were people on here and now it was cleared. I lay down on the lush green carpet of grass and felt so comfortable. Too comfortable I could have slept there. I look to my left where I see a man smoking, he starts to walk in my direction and seats himself about 5 meters away from me. His smoke is blowing in my direction. Standing up agitated I get to the bottom of the hill and walk barefeet towards another hill. It feels so natural walking barefeet. There are two guys I've seen earlier with a white dog. They are staring in my direction and I sense them eye goggling which irritates me a little but I walk on and just as I pass them my trainer shoes fall out of the bag unsure of how that happened. I burst out laughing almost unable to control my laughter, I thought stuff like that only happened in movies. This one in particular would be a comedy.
Moving on I approach the other hill I look to my left at the sun set, mesmerized by the phenomena I'm witnessing here. At this moment I'm not sure what to say of it, while the memory is still there I can't seem to find the right words. My attempt will be like someone was holding a lamp, and that lamp was the sun. This is such a poor attempt at describing it. I couldn't remove my gaze and I didn't seem to care that to onlookers I appeared to look like a lunatic. I'll have to call this hill the sunset hill. As it is from this hill where the sunset can be seen almost close up. I plop myself down on the grass, which is patchy here, the earth here is also rocky and hard unlike the altar hill. Regardless there's this major urge to close my eyes. I relax and go deeper, the beings here seem different. Though the sun is setting it was still a bit too intense to stare at. I keep eyes closed, a few times I felt the need to remain absolutely still. There was some external distractions, a few women walking up the hill, looked like some kind of physiotherapy exercise. There were some people running up and down the hill, which would startle me because the sound of them exhausted sounds similar to wild dogs running.
Observed by the beings, something deeper was going on.
There was a moment where I felt a deep sense of appreciation for how freely the sun gave of itself. I sit up at some point, stare at the sun, it is easier to gaze now. Suddenly a major sensation is present in the abdomen, like a stabbing from the inside. I feel some of the organs here swelling, touching abdomen feels hard. I could feel I need to stay still and endure as much as I possibly could. A short while later I need to get up and get moving, feel like my bladder is about to burst, fortunately find a bush to pee near and head home. Some interesting things have happened since this incident. When I close my eyes sudden scenes of people show up. There is a forming mental image every time I close eyes and relax and I find that its possible to enter these scenes and become a part of them. There are pressures in the head, and several times now have had this signal to take time out and nap. Today napping the scenes appeared at the same time the deeper I relaxed the head thrashing has started again.
While this actually seems like a rather uneventful incident I thought about it for a while and realized that I was being guided or more like nudged to move in a particular direction. First I would not have moved from my starting point, the usual hill that I think I should call the Dog Hill had it not been for that scary mean looking dog. Then from the Altar Hill I would not have moved to what seemed to be the final destination, the Sunset Hill had it not been for the smoker blowing smoke in my face. Now I'm aware that my next trip has to take place on the Sunset Hill.
Friday, 13 June 2014
Barking Mad
Since The Being in the Sun incident I have been waking at exactly 4:35am where before it was around 5:45 to 6:15am.
I've been feeling like this is all somehow planned out. I have thought about going to the park to see what happens when I relax deeper whilst sungazing under the influence of Salvia, so this morning at about 6:15am I headed for the park. It was not as quiet as expected, in the distance I can hear the morning birds and nature chattering away. Park was fairly empty with a few people sitting in the distance.
I got comfortable at the top of a hill in seated position, gazed at the sun briefly then started chewing process not thinking much. The transition started to occur, I needed to lay back. Everything vivid and clear. The energies (I usually call them entities) around me were somewhat different. The transition feels different but I was going through the same process. Breathing changed until at some point felt like there was no breathing. I tried to stare at the sun but it was too intense. I can sense the others around doing something with the body as usual. Something was on the left knee, thought that it might be a bug and I sensed all kinds of earthly creatures around me more intensely. The rays from the sun were warming the skin. All sensations feel very different. My mouth felt numb and smoothed out. It was difficult relaxing because of the open space and anyone just showing up, in particular I was just very wary of dogs.
There was tactile sensation of a pulsing type of magnetic force. It was pulsating all over the body. I closed eyes and went deeper. At some stage I opened eyes and saw the entire world as some kind of setup, they were clearly visible in the sky, manipulating the sky and it's appearance. The sun, there's something about it that I can't seem to convey here. The clouds were covering the intensity of the rays. As I got deeper something very profound was taking place but then I sensed something coming closer, opened eyes and a few seconds later a woman was jogging past me. I felt I needed to get up, sensed something else coming closer and quickly sat up.
The jogging woman was calling to someone and then I saw the dog which was not good, made me panic a little. I could still feel the magnetic bubble around me, I could not see it but still very much aware of it. With activity still ongoing the dog made eye contact with me. I froze and continued staring, it had a very knowing look. It was clear to me that it sensed what was going on around me. Soon it started to bark, its barking was strange it seemed to be saying something. It wouldn't dare to come near me standing about 10 meters away just barking away. The jogging woman is frustrated shouting because the dog would not respond to her call whilst she is gone quite a long way almost leaving her dog behind. I panicked a little more because, though I'm not afraid of dogs, I've never had any experience where a dog behaved like this around me. I couldn't predict its next move but trying to remain as calm as I could. Soon it moved away from the other side avoiding coming around me. I was relieved. However, as it moved more towards the woman, it turned around one more time to stare back in my direction barking again this made the woman even more mad.
Still in that state I couldn't relax after that, stayed seated for a little while until I got up. Movement feels different, I walk a little and in the distance I see two dogs and a woman behind them coming up the hill. I know one of the dog is Freddie having encountered him before. The two dogs approach me really fast rather unexpectedly. They both start to circle around me, I gesture with my arms for them to move along. I'll admit I panicked more this time because one of the dog was a pitbull dog . The woman assures me that they just want to be stroked, I tell her I can't because of my allergies but don't think she was listening. I walk away slowly but with each step the dogs are getting closer. Finally the woman tries to move them along. The pitbull dog comes running back, sits in between some of the plants where I was meditating with Salvia, watching me. Again the same thing where the woman is frustrated and shouting at the dog to move along. After this I did some barefoot walking on the earth for some grounding. When I got home felt quite tired and was suffering from hayfever.
I have found another hill where I can try this again but would have to get there earlier, as it could get tricky exploring more with Salvia when dogs are around. One other thing I will be trying is just observing the view around me without Salvia next time just to see if I can capture visually what was witnessed in the Salvia state.
I've been feeling like this is all somehow planned out. I have thought about going to the park to see what happens when I relax deeper whilst sungazing under the influence of Salvia, so this morning at about 6:15am I headed for the park. It was not as quiet as expected, in the distance I can hear the morning birds and nature chattering away. Park was fairly empty with a few people sitting in the distance.
I got comfortable at the top of a hill in seated position, gazed at the sun briefly then started chewing process not thinking much. The transition started to occur, I needed to lay back. Everything vivid and clear. The energies (I usually call them entities) around me were somewhat different. The transition feels different but I was going through the same process. Breathing changed until at some point felt like there was no breathing. I tried to stare at the sun but it was too intense. I can sense the others around doing something with the body as usual. Something was on the left knee, thought that it might be a bug and I sensed all kinds of earthly creatures around me more intensely. The rays from the sun were warming the skin. All sensations feel very different. My mouth felt numb and smoothed out. It was difficult relaxing because of the open space and anyone just showing up, in particular I was just very wary of dogs.
There was tactile sensation of a pulsing type of magnetic force. It was pulsating all over the body. I closed eyes and went deeper. At some stage I opened eyes and saw the entire world as some kind of setup, they were clearly visible in the sky, manipulating the sky and it's appearance. The sun, there's something about it that I can't seem to convey here. The clouds were covering the intensity of the rays. As I got deeper something very profound was taking place but then I sensed something coming closer, opened eyes and a few seconds later a woman was jogging past me. I felt I needed to get up, sensed something else coming closer and quickly sat up.
The jogging woman was calling to someone and then I saw the dog which was not good, made me panic a little. I could still feel the magnetic bubble around me, I could not see it but still very much aware of it. With activity still ongoing the dog made eye contact with me. I froze and continued staring, it had a very knowing look. It was clear to me that it sensed what was going on around me. Soon it started to bark, its barking was strange it seemed to be saying something. It wouldn't dare to come near me standing about 10 meters away just barking away. The jogging woman is frustrated shouting because the dog would not respond to her call whilst she is gone quite a long way almost leaving her dog behind. I panicked a little more because, though I'm not afraid of dogs, I've never had any experience where a dog behaved like this around me. I couldn't predict its next move but trying to remain as calm as I could. Soon it moved away from the other side avoiding coming around me. I was relieved. However, as it moved more towards the woman, it turned around one more time to stare back in my direction barking again this made the woman even more mad.
Still in that state I couldn't relax after that, stayed seated for a little while until I got up. Movement feels different, I walk a little and in the distance I see two dogs and a woman behind them coming up the hill. I know one of the dog is Freddie having encountered him before. The two dogs approach me really fast rather unexpectedly. They both start to circle around me, I gesture with my arms for them to move along. I'll admit I panicked more this time because one of the dog was a pitbull dog . The woman assures me that they just want to be stroked, I tell her I can't because of my allergies but don't think she was listening. I walk away slowly but with each step the dogs are getting closer. Finally the woman tries to move them along. The pitbull dog comes running back, sits in between some of the plants where I was meditating with Salvia, watching me. Again the same thing where the woman is frustrated and shouting at the dog to move along. After this I did some barefoot walking on the earth for some grounding. When I got home felt quite tired and was suffering from hayfever.
I have found another hill where I can try this again but would have to get there earlier, as it could get tricky exploring more with Salvia when dogs are around. One other thing I will be trying is just observing the view around me without Salvia next time just to see if I can capture visually what was witnessed in the Salvia state.
Monday, 9 June 2014
The Being in the Sun
In the past I have been in the garden whilst in the Salvia state but have never remained long enough to observe the environment around me. Despite this in general with Salvia sessions taking place in the bedroom I have been able to sense the environment as well as the elements around me.
This morning I decided to try Salvia in the garden, it was about 7:30am. As the transitioning state occurred I was deeply comparing what was taking place with the experiences that occur for people that are deemed insane. I feel like this with open eyes Salvia sessions, always needing to make comparisons to the insane. I kept pondering how what we experience as our ordinary state of awareness was no different to that of an insane person. Something in the brain makes us perceive reality the way all people do, it's like a spell but at the same time the process is actually very biological.
I sat pondering if something in the brain was actually changing and this in response was changing how the senses were functioning. Looking up at the sky this morning I would not say that the sky was changing rather it was my senses and how I perceived.
There were slight shadows and glimmering light patches, the kind you would see after staring at the sun for some time only I had not yet gazed at the sun. It is cloudy yet the sun shining through. Gently moving my gaze towards the sun. There was this shakiness of the sun, almost like it was vibrating. At the same time that same movement was felt inside my head. It was like the movement of that sun was actually inside the head. A sense of deeper knowing came from all this. The sun was freely giving of itself to the world, it did not matter who or what you were.
Then I saw the form of what looked like a young child, it seemed to be within the sun or beside it but it was communicating to something. I felt like it was aware of me. My eyes kept closing, so I closed and relaxed. There is movement within the head and some shadows of beings inside there with closed eyes.
I open eyes want to look at the sky again. Then I have this urge to lie down but was unable to with family around.
I got up a few times, those auto body movements smoother but much more demanding. I followed the movement and understood that the body wanted to spin around. I didn't as there was this sense of feeling to unbalanced.
I've been sitting in the garden early mornings for a while now whenever the sun comes out. For a while there's always these flies, I think they're flying ants and they always fly in a particular direction almost as though with their movements they were producing some kind of shape. Today they were present, it was like they were dancing not for entertainment but as though they were worshiping or rejoicing in something.
I've managed to read Fire in the Mind : Dialogues with J Krishnamurti for past few days and in this experience I felt there was a much deeper understanding of what he was trying to convey.
I think my next session I will have to try in the park, early morning sun gazing.
This morning I decided to try Salvia in the garden, it was about 7:30am. As the transitioning state occurred I was deeply comparing what was taking place with the experiences that occur for people that are deemed insane. I feel like this with open eyes Salvia sessions, always needing to make comparisons to the insane. I kept pondering how what we experience as our ordinary state of awareness was no different to that of an insane person. Something in the brain makes us perceive reality the way all people do, it's like a spell but at the same time the process is actually very biological.
I sat pondering if something in the brain was actually changing and this in response was changing how the senses were functioning. Looking up at the sky this morning I would not say that the sky was changing rather it was my senses and how I perceived.
There were slight shadows and glimmering light patches, the kind you would see after staring at the sun for some time only I had not yet gazed at the sun. It is cloudy yet the sun shining through. Gently moving my gaze towards the sun. There was this shakiness of the sun, almost like it was vibrating. At the same time that same movement was felt inside my head. It was like the movement of that sun was actually inside the head. A sense of deeper knowing came from all this. The sun was freely giving of itself to the world, it did not matter who or what you were.
Then I saw the form of what looked like a young child, it seemed to be within the sun or beside it but it was communicating to something. I felt like it was aware of me. My eyes kept closing, so I closed and relaxed. There is movement within the head and some shadows of beings inside there with closed eyes.
I open eyes want to look at the sky again. Then I have this urge to lie down but was unable to with family around.
I got up a few times, those auto body movements smoother but much more demanding. I followed the movement and understood that the body wanted to spin around. I didn't as there was this sense of feeling to unbalanced.
I've been sitting in the garden early mornings for a while now whenever the sun comes out. For a while there's always these flies, I think they're flying ants and they always fly in a particular direction almost as though with their movements they were producing some kind of shape. Today they were present, it was like they were dancing not for entertainment but as though they were worshiping or rejoicing in something.
I've managed to read Fire in the Mind : Dialogues with J Krishnamurti for past few days and in this experience I felt there was a much deeper understanding of what he was trying to convey.
I think my next session I will have to try in the park, early morning sun gazing.
The Indescribable Brain Procedure
The other day had a session with Salvia plain leaf, quids in the evening. Transitioned as usual but after that something very disturbing happened and I honestly can't find the words to describe it.
It was like my brain was malfunctioning, I kept trying to shake something from off the top of my head. At the same time I felt the familiar process of being unable to think.
It was like my brain was malfunctioning, I kept trying to shake something from off the top of my head. At the same time I felt the familiar process of being unable to think.
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