I have been exploring with Salvia a few times now both quidding and extract, have the experiences documented but not publishing for the time being. Being in that space I see why some things should not be spoken of, it seems when I'm there I agree with the beings. I shouldn't talk about what gets revealed. There's also the usual body works, mostly have been feeling intense pain. Most recent pain in kidneys and this was with quidding.
I do however have an urge to let some things spill, having written so much regarding these explorations want to share. In all my time with salvia I have learnt so much more than I did in school.
The teachings are about important things, real things.
A brief overview of what happened recently, I was there in that unexplainable Salvia state. It was stormy outside and soon enough was communicating with the ones behind the storm. Their presence was magnificent, very powerful. Opened eyes I sensed they were drawn to just near my bedroom part, getting louder more ferocious. The storm was just as much aware of me as I was of all the energies around me. But coming closer I could feel the impact it could have had on part of the building. As a result I found myself almost yelling at them to stop.
Another thing, and perhaps I'm a little concerned about this, I did a little exploring with MJ and had an incredibly heightened powerful surge of sexual energy. As the experience deepened I was in contact with bliss, so much that I felt as though I was this bliss.
For past two days now I've been having these sudden spells where the room is slowly shifting and it feels like the onset of an MJ experience. With the recent Salvia experience the shift carried forward from this sudden spell. Either MJ hasn't left my system or it has activated something which I think could be a bit premature at the moment or it is something else entirely.
One interesting thing that is also occurring are the stuff in between sleep state. The other night I had some trouble sleeping. Then closed eyes heard music and I kept trying to remember whether I had my mp3 player on. Because it was so real I felt like I did. The song was changing to sounds that were having some really adverse effect on the brain. Then I sensed a presence coming closer, one that I'm familiar with. I felt like my forehead was touched and then a cover placed over me. Suddenly woke up from this, startled by the clarity of the experience, just as real as right now feels.
Sunday, 16 February 2014
Monday, 20 January 2014
The Everywhere
Yesterday evening chatting with two strangers, with one I was speaking to about my interest, open minded yet rational.
Our meetup was interesting, he's a screenplay writer and it turns out I need one. The other has some kind of Hollywood connections and I told him about my story idea for feedback.
With the first person I was discussing mind brain consciousness stuff, he says that the brain is what creates the thoughts and can fool the brain, I say it is the mind.
I took Salvia particularly to figure this one out, going deep though it seemed completely irrelevant mostly because I completely forgot my task. Relaxing, the environment changing. I started to see them everywhere in the air just peeping out. They even tried to stimulate sexual activity only because I was talking about it.
I kept thinking about the way they appeared and it just paved the way for the plot of my storyline. I know one thing for sure they're hiding but not hiding, it's just that we're not seeing.
It is true the brain can fool you, but the brain itself does not do it, it's simply a component inside a device. Your eyes see everything, and all the other senses work accordingly the brain processes and registers this information and filters out anything that does not connect.
I think the experience I had last night would completely frighten the uninitiated, now I can see clearly why I had to work through so many layers of fear and why kundalini does what it does - it makes a lot more sense now. Only that state is not permanent, not with Salvia.
I know if I could just relax stay still and observe they can become visible. I could experience this without Salvia.
Our meetup was interesting, he's a screenplay writer and it turns out I need one. The other has some kind of Hollywood connections and I told him about my story idea for feedback.
With the first person I was discussing mind brain consciousness stuff, he says that the brain is what creates the thoughts and can fool the brain, I say it is the mind.
I took Salvia particularly to figure this one out, going deep though it seemed completely irrelevant mostly because I completely forgot my task. Relaxing, the environment changing. I started to see them everywhere in the air just peeping out. They even tried to stimulate sexual activity only because I was talking about it.
I kept thinking about the way they appeared and it just paved the way for the plot of my storyline. I know one thing for sure they're hiding but not hiding, it's just that we're not seeing.
It is true the brain can fool you, but the brain itself does not do it, it's simply a component inside a device. Your eyes see everything, and all the other senses work accordingly the brain processes and registers this information and filters out anything that does not connect.
I think the experience I had last night would completely frighten the uninitiated, now I can see clearly why I had to work through so many layers of fear and why kundalini does what it does - it makes a lot more sense now. Only that state is not permanent, not with Salvia.
I know if I could just relax stay still and observe they can become visible. I could experience this without Salvia.
Saturday, 11 January 2014
Paranoia
S x25 again after a while in the evening, yesterday.
This time camera flashlight on, place pipe on bedside table and see beings in a certain way. Now I know why I felt the need to agree with T that the faces I see can simply be a creation of the mind, like my mind itself was imagining and creating them, it wasn't that that was the case somehow it is but it was the fact that I was not allowed to stretch the discussion - there was an urgency to agree with her also yesterday I felt like I was on the spotlight with the number of question thrown at me because it seems I don't have answers for them and I could see why they would arise.
Now with the pipe on the bedside table there was that very conspiracy theory type feeling, like the beings around me were conspiring maybe against me. It felt like officials like something was there just behind me watching observing acknowledging my moves. I got the phone to off light, time read 11:01 and I had an absolute understanding of the 11 : 11 phenomena, it seemed it had nothing to do with numerology - it was how it appeared something to do with symbology rather than numerical calculations. I'm sure there must be something to the other numbers. I went to sleep awakened sometime after 3am and back to sleep a few hours later.
I had a very vivid dream like experience, only it felt like I was really there. Made an application recently and I'm seeing a staff member processing the application on their screen.
This time camera flashlight on, place pipe on bedside table and see beings in a certain way. Now I know why I felt the need to agree with T that the faces I see can simply be a creation of the mind, like my mind itself was imagining and creating them, it wasn't that that was the case somehow it is but it was the fact that I was not allowed to stretch the discussion - there was an urgency to agree with her also yesterday I felt like I was on the spotlight with the number of question thrown at me because it seems I don't have answers for them and I could see why they would arise.
Now with the pipe on the bedside table there was that very conspiracy theory type feeling, like the beings around me were conspiring maybe against me. It felt like officials like something was there just behind me watching observing acknowledging my moves. I got the phone to off light, time read 11:01 and I had an absolute understanding of the 11 : 11 phenomena, it seemed it had nothing to do with numerology - it was how it appeared something to do with symbology rather than numerical calculations. I'm sure there must be something to the other numbers. I went to sleep awakened sometime after 3am and back to sleep a few hours later.
I had a very vivid dream like experience, only it felt like I was really there. Made an application recently and I'm seeing a staff member processing the application on their screen.
Friday, 10 January 2014
Playing the Fool
Took Salvia today in the evening. Sisters and niece in another room speaking another room. 25x extract.
Eyes open and I recall it clearly, it was picking up from the last experience, no from the only experience where everything is apparent about the Reality in which we find ourselves. I sensed it deeply that I was not from this world but it didn't mean I was from another world just that the person I think myself to be has no actual reality but there is a reality, there is something real and that real is apparent when the unreal is revealed.
So carefully and intelligently put together. The beings swarm all over, I'm looking in the mirror and I see the beings around the body, one embedded near throat and just moving about. I saw like each person somehow belonged to a group. Sis in law made a cake and I got this major feeling a transmission 'don't you dare eat that'! even though we are getting along now.
The urgency is so much stronger, the urgency to reveal this especially to those near me.
I sensed it that they would do something if I were to reveal it, the telling others of this was bad somehow. Try as I may I know how crazy it would make me sound. I got up not caring about it so much, got my sister and neice to join and try some Salvia.
It didn't work, I put enough in the bowl for each. They inhaled it long enough, sister coughed quite a bit. I always find hard heads intriguing but all this seemed beyond belief to me. 10x never worked on neice before but has worked for sister only 25x is having no effect on anyone except me so far.
I thought I'd smoke it whilst they were present. The shift occurs fast but somehow their - sister and neice's presence is distracting.
We had a discussion, whilst I was in the shift I explained to them that the reality we find ourselves in is not real but seems real, that what is real is knowing what is unreal, and being able to see the difference. This was the toughest thing I've done my entire life but the urgency was so strong I felt I had no choice.
The discussion stretched so much but they raised some important questions - I shared more than I ever dared to hence the blog.
I think they were slightly concerned about me. I told them I couldn't tell them about the experience, that somehow it's not that I wasn't allowed but that I couldn't - this isn't something you speak of or describe - you experience it. This word experience is so important.
T told me 'Maybe what you think is real (what I experience with Salvia which is more like the truth and I explained this to them as the 'behind the scenes of this reality') is real to you whilst you have the experience but then it fades so it means because you had to take something to have the experience means it is a hallucination. I asked suppose you wake up and realize this reality was all just a dream a figment of your imagination would you say because you had that experience and it felt real is why you were adamant it was real. There was some pause but I noticed it the urgency from both T and S to hold a firm resolve that what I experienced was a hallucination.
We hold so much onto our so called reality, so much on our dreams and hopes and whatever satisfaction we feel we can derive from reality that someone to suddenly come and say all of it was for naught is just plain ridiculous.
There I was recalling that time when the carpet beings signaled to me to share this other side of reality and I finally did it, told them about the beings and how I see them and that I could show their faces pasted. Sister says she sees the faces but what does it all mean, I have no idea what it all means - seeing the beings has never been important. What is important is the Truth.
I feel this deep sense that this Truth understood and perceived by all beings meant the end of dreaming or ever hoping for anything in life.
I was a little upset that it didn't work on them especially on my sister whom I was hoping so much to connect with. It could be the fact that we were not relaxed that maybe the focus was too much on whether it was not working. Somehow I feel T in the room was the disallowing factor.
Right now it's up to the beings, I know once before they manipulated sister's OBE and I know they can do more than that.
At the same time they themselves disapproved of my sharing, again I got that feeling they will just do away with my character here so perhaps it didn't work for a reason.
Eyes open and I recall it clearly, it was picking up from the last experience, no from the only experience where everything is apparent about the Reality in which we find ourselves. I sensed it deeply that I was not from this world but it didn't mean I was from another world just that the person I think myself to be has no actual reality but there is a reality, there is something real and that real is apparent when the unreal is revealed.
So carefully and intelligently put together. The beings swarm all over, I'm looking in the mirror and I see the beings around the body, one embedded near throat and just moving about. I saw like each person somehow belonged to a group. Sis in law made a cake and I got this major feeling a transmission 'don't you dare eat that'! even though we are getting along now.
The urgency is so much stronger, the urgency to reveal this especially to those near me.
I sensed it that they would do something if I were to reveal it, the telling others of this was bad somehow. Try as I may I know how crazy it would make me sound. I got up not caring about it so much, got my sister and neice to join and try some Salvia.
It didn't work, I put enough in the bowl for each. They inhaled it long enough, sister coughed quite a bit. I always find hard heads intriguing but all this seemed beyond belief to me. 10x never worked on neice before but has worked for sister only 25x is having no effect on anyone except me so far.
I thought I'd smoke it whilst they were present. The shift occurs fast but somehow their - sister and neice's presence is distracting.
We had a discussion, whilst I was in the shift I explained to them that the reality we find ourselves in is not real but seems real, that what is real is knowing what is unreal, and being able to see the difference. This was the toughest thing I've done my entire life but the urgency was so strong I felt I had no choice.
The discussion stretched so much but they raised some important questions - I shared more than I ever dared to hence the blog.
I think they were slightly concerned about me. I told them I couldn't tell them about the experience, that somehow it's not that I wasn't allowed but that I couldn't - this isn't something you speak of or describe - you experience it. This word experience is so important.
T told me 'Maybe what you think is real (what I experience with Salvia which is more like the truth and I explained this to them as the 'behind the scenes of this reality') is real to you whilst you have the experience but then it fades so it means because you had to take something to have the experience means it is a hallucination. I asked suppose you wake up and realize this reality was all just a dream a figment of your imagination would you say because you had that experience and it felt real is why you were adamant it was real. There was some pause but I noticed it the urgency from both T and S to hold a firm resolve that what I experienced was a hallucination.
We hold so much onto our so called reality, so much on our dreams and hopes and whatever satisfaction we feel we can derive from reality that someone to suddenly come and say all of it was for naught is just plain ridiculous.
There I was recalling that time when the carpet beings signaled to me to share this other side of reality and I finally did it, told them about the beings and how I see them and that I could show their faces pasted. Sister says she sees the faces but what does it all mean, I have no idea what it all means - seeing the beings has never been important. What is important is the Truth.
I feel this deep sense that this Truth understood and perceived by all beings meant the end of dreaming or ever hoping for anything in life.
I was a little upset that it didn't work on them especially on my sister whom I was hoping so much to connect with. It could be the fact that we were not relaxed that maybe the focus was too much on whether it was not working. Somehow I feel T in the room was the disallowing factor.
Right now it's up to the beings, I know once before they manipulated sister's OBE and I know they can do more than that.
At the same time they themselves disapproved of my sharing, again I got that feeling they will just do away with my character here so perhaps it didn't work for a reason.
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
The Pleasure of All
Another trip with MJ last night.
Smoking felt different, eyes did tear up a little but then it was windy outside. Back inside the involuntary movements started fast, again this is very much like being possessed. In general this has been occurring around the clock there is actually no stop to it.
In these other states of consciousness I understand the movement more clearly. Movements are smoother and while it feels like something else has taken over directly from within the body I also have the perception that externally the beings are also manipulating.
There was that same peripheral visual I get on Salvia, a vibrational effect like somehow the eyes themselves are vibrating but not quite, more like a deep layer of it.
It was just after 10pm, got in bed hoping to remain awake throughout (taking it late not a good idea as I end up sleeping it off.
There was mellow feeling coming about with the understanding with the unreality of everything, and it's interesting how my mj experiences parallel with the salvia experiences - it's almost identical.
Resting there were bodily sensations. Then it started once again, a very familiar experience of what seemed like the physical body collecting sexual energy. This same experience on Salvia was unbearable. It felt very much like I was experiencing the sexual acts of those around me, by that I mean neighborhood or town perhaps even expanding to an entire planet. I could be wrong but at the time it felt like that was the case. There was a moment where the sensation of pleasure converted into pain.
What happened after that was a complete blur except I had a very vivid dream. I was observing the characters and at the same time feeling to be playing each role.
Smoking felt different, eyes did tear up a little but then it was windy outside. Back inside the involuntary movements started fast, again this is very much like being possessed. In general this has been occurring around the clock there is actually no stop to it.
In these other states of consciousness I understand the movement more clearly. Movements are smoother and while it feels like something else has taken over directly from within the body I also have the perception that externally the beings are also manipulating.
There was that same peripheral visual I get on Salvia, a vibrational effect like somehow the eyes themselves are vibrating but not quite, more like a deep layer of it.
It was just after 10pm, got in bed hoping to remain awake throughout (taking it late not a good idea as I end up sleeping it off.
There was mellow feeling coming about with the understanding with the unreality of everything, and it's interesting how my mj experiences parallel with the salvia experiences - it's almost identical.
Resting there were bodily sensations. Then it started once again, a very familiar experience of what seemed like the physical body collecting sexual energy. This same experience on Salvia was unbearable. It felt very much like I was experiencing the sexual acts of those around me, by that I mean neighborhood or town perhaps even expanding to an entire planet. I could be wrong but at the time it felt like that was the case. There was a moment where the sensation of pleasure converted into pain.
What happened after that was a complete blur except I had a very vivid dream. I was observing the characters and at the same time feeling to be playing each role.
Monday, 23 December 2013
Updates on Recent Salvia Extract Trips
Had a few Salvia sessions with the extract 20x. It is incredibly fast, I'm having a clearer perception and also I'm able to remain coherent in the experience. I can open my eyes and move around normally, although the movements feel different but I think it has gotten to a stage I could be tripping near others with no disorientation - something I want to experiment with.
After third Salvia extract session, had chest pains, it started radiating throughout my shoulders and felt like a ton of bricks weighing down my upper torso and I think it may have been due to moving around too fast. Resting on my back it went away.
I just want to summarize my Salvia experiences at the moment, the main theme of my experience can be found in an advaita dialogue. Everything I'm experiencing, the insights received is right here.
http://www.sankaracharya.org/library/advaitadialogue.pdf
After third Salvia extract session, had chest pains, it started radiating throughout my shoulders and felt like a ton of bricks weighing down my upper torso and I think it may have been due to moving around too fast. Resting on my back it went away.
I just want to summarize my Salvia experiences at the moment, the main theme of my experience can be found in an advaita dialogue. Everything I'm experiencing, the insights received is right here.
http://www.sankaracharya.org/library/advaitadialogue.pdf
Latest Salvia Extract Trips
The world is an illusion.
Salvia extract takes me there with incredible speed. Just to clarify my 'there' is my 'here' in it's actual real form. I have complete understanding in this state, the true nature of not just life but the material cover up. So far everything I have experienced fits in with Adi Shankara teachings and Buddhist teachings.
Though these teachings have come about in different eras they still apply here in this time, in every time.
I felt it going in deep, the absolute necessity of holding onto that state. That state feels natural, seeing the truth behind reality. In that moment there was no care for anything worldly, it seemed to all be a make believe.
Being there I felt the absolute need to share this same state to others around me, in the session the people closest to me were my sisters. I needed somehow to explain all this to them. You could imagine for people not well versed in this how tough such a task would be. The thing is I don't have to do this, yet the urge is there.
The thing that holds us to this world is simply the world, it's worldly affairs, desires and attachment but more importantly our thoughts keep us bound here.
It seemed important that each person stepped through the same threshold as I have. I had a thought for a book. I've always wanted to write a book, I think this new book will have the new discoveries I'm embarking on.
The extract makes the transition incredibly fast, they appeared really quick also they made a few points regarding certain thoughts I had throughout the day.
I looked in the mirror and there was my shadow on the wall behind me, glowing and moving - think peter pan shadow but with more depth.
Phone flash light lit the room and beings were formed by light shadow. Forms also visible on solid objects around the room. Looking outside on neighbours chimney, three pillars formed beings that seemed to be watching over me.
In that state I naturally abandon all that seems to matter. The only thing that matters is holding onto that state, to fall away from it is to fall into the abyss of confusion and here lies all suffering and there in that state which is here even now, is the Truth and this truth does set you free.
This morning I opened my eyes quickly maybe after three minutes of closed eyes. I had the recorder handy, did want to make notes but was simply registering everything that took place.
I have thought about it, what does a person do with their life after discovering this. That reality is a dream, a short little trip. It seems one can do whatever they like but I am not permanently in that state, I am not permanently in a position to say one does this and this in one's life once one discovers this fascinating Truth, yet I feel there is something so much more to uncover.
So far no extract headache, however this morning when I got up after an extract session there was an intense radiating pain from my chest, spread to the shoulders and hurt like a ton of bricks suddenly applied within this area. These last maybe 5 or 10 minutes but even after 40 minutes there is something going on with the body like the sessions have directly enhanced the kundalini or energetic processes.
Yesterday I was not going to even touch the Salvia, it was going to be just MJ, got my glass bong ready and it slipped off my hand and cracked. It seemed like deliberately done by the beings and I thought they don't want me to take MJ, or maybe they don't want me to smoke it but eat it.
The smoking I find unappealing although smoking extract does not feel as harsh now in my pipe. Interestingly I can move around in my experience keep my eyes open directly perceive everything and coherently relay the experience as it is happening. This is 20* extract.
There was also that feeling present in that state. Someone could be dismembering the physical body, I could be tortured and beaten and in that state despite these things happening I am completely free from the suffering of these things.
Salvia extract takes me there with incredible speed. Just to clarify my 'there' is my 'here' in it's actual real form. I have complete understanding in this state, the true nature of not just life but the material cover up. So far everything I have experienced fits in with Adi Shankara teachings and Buddhist teachings.
Though these teachings have come about in different eras they still apply here in this time, in every time.
I felt it going in deep, the absolute necessity of holding onto that state. That state feels natural, seeing the truth behind reality. In that moment there was no care for anything worldly, it seemed to all be a make believe.
Being there I felt the absolute need to share this same state to others around me, in the session the people closest to me were my sisters. I needed somehow to explain all this to them. You could imagine for people not well versed in this how tough such a task would be. The thing is I don't have to do this, yet the urge is there.
The thing that holds us to this world is simply the world, it's worldly affairs, desires and attachment but more importantly our thoughts keep us bound here.
It seemed important that each person stepped through the same threshold as I have. I had a thought for a book. I've always wanted to write a book, I think this new book will have the new discoveries I'm embarking on.
The extract makes the transition incredibly fast, they appeared really quick also they made a few points regarding certain thoughts I had throughout the day.
I looked in the mirror and there was my shadow on the wall behind me, glowing and moving - think peter pan shadow but with more depth.
Phone flash light lit the room and beings were formed by light shadow. Forms also visible on solid objects around the room. Looking outside on neighbours chimney, three pillars formed beings that seemed to be watching over me.
In that state I naturally abandon all that seems to matter. The only thing that matters is holding onto that state, to fall away from it is to fall into the abyss of confusion and here lies all suffering and there in that state which is here even now, is the Truth and this truth does set you free.
This morning I opened my eyes quickly maybe after three minutes of closed eyes. I had the recorder handy, did want to make notes but was simply registering everything that took place.
I have thought about it, what does a person do with their life after discovering this. That reality is a dream, a short little trip. It seems one can do whatever they like but I am not permanently in that state, I am not permanently in a position to say one does this and this in one's life once one discovers this fascinating Truth, yet I feel there is something so much more to uncover.
So far no extract headache, however this morning when I got up after an extract session there was an intense radiating pain from my chest, spread to the shoulders and hurt like a ton of bricks suddenly applied within this area. These last maybe 5 or 10 minutes but even after 40 minutes there is something going on with the body like the sessions have directly enhanced the kundalini or energetic processes.
Yesterday I was not going to even touch the Salvia, it was going to be just MJ, got my glass bong ready and it slipped off my hand and cracked. It seemed like deliberately done by the beings and I thought they don't want me to take MJ, or maybe they don't want me to smoke it but eat it.
The smoking I find unappealing although smoking extract does not feel as harsh now in my pipe. Interestingly I can move around in my experience keep my eyes open directly perceive everything and coherently relay the experience as it is happening. This is 20* extract.
There was also that feeling present in that state. Someone could be dismembering the physical body, I could be tortured and beaten and in that state despite these things happening I am completely free from the suffering of these things.
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