Playing the Fool

Took Salvia today in the evening. Sisters and niece in another room speaking another room. 25x extract.

Eyes open and I recall it clearly, it was picking up from the last experience, no from the only experience where everything is apparent about the Reality in which we find ourselves. I sensed it deeply that I was not from this world but it didn't mean I was from another world just that the person I think myself to be has no actual reality but there is a reality, there is something real and that real is apparent when the unreal is revealed.

So carefully and intelligently put together. The beings swarm all over, I'm looking in the mirror and I see the beings around the body, one embedded near throat and just moving about. I saw like each person somehow belonged to a group. Sis in law made a cake and I got this major feeling a transmission 'don't you dare eat that'! even though we are getting along now.

The urgency is so much stronger, the urgency to reveal this especially to those near me.

I sensed it that they would do something if I were to reveal it, the telling others of this was bad somehow. Try as I may I know how crazy it would make me sound. I got up not caring about it so much, got my sister and neice to join and try some Salvia.

It didn't work, I put enough in the bowl for each. They inhaled it long enough, sister coughed quite a bit. I always find hard heads intriguing but all this seemed beyond belief to me. 10x never worked on neice before but has worked for sister only 25x is having no effect on anyone except me so far.

I thought I'd smoke it whilst they were present. The shift occurs fast but somehow their - sister and neice's presence is distracting.

We had a discussion, whilst I was in the shift I explained to them that the reality we find ourselves in is not real but seems real, that what is real is knowing what is unreal, and being able to see the difference. This was the toughest thing I've done my entire life but the urgency was so strong I felt I had no choice.

The discussion stretched so much but they raised some important questions - I shared more than I ever dared to hence the blog.

I think they were slightly concerned about me. I told them I couldn't tell them about the experience, that somehow it's not that I wasn't allowed but that I couldn't - this isn't something you speak of or describe - you experience it. This word experience is so important.

T told me 'Maybe what you think is real (what I experience with Salvia which is more like the truth and I explained this to them as the 'behind the scenes of this reality') is real to you whilst you have the experience but then it fades so it means because you had to take something to have the experience means it is a hallucination. I asked suppose you wake up and realize this reality was all just a dream a figment of your imagination would you say because you had that experience and it felt real is why you were adamant it was real. There was some pause but I noticed it the urgency from both T and S to hold a firm resolve that what I experienced was a hallucination.

We hold so much onto our so called reality, so much on our dreams and hopes and whatever satisfaction we feel we can derive from reality that someone to suddenly come and say all of it was for naught is just plain ridiculous.

There I was recalling that time when the carpet beings signaled to me to share this other side of reality and I finally did it, told them about the beings and how I see them and that I could show their faces pasted. Sister says she sees the faces but what does it all mean, I have no idea what it all means - seeing the beings has never been important. What is important is the Truth.

I feel this deep sense that this Truth understood and perceived by all beings meant the end of dreaming or ever hoping for anything in life.

I was a little upset that it didn't work on them especially on my sister whom I was hoping so much to connect with. It could be the fact that we were not relaxed that maybe the focus was too much on whether it was not working. Somehow I feel T in the room was the disallowing factor.

Right now it's up to the beings, I know once before they manipulated sister's OBE and I know they can do more than that.

At the same time they themselves disapproved of my sharing, again I got that feeling they will just do away with my character here so perhaps it didn't work for a reason.