Cartoon Screen

Wake and then back to sleep around 4 or 5am. There was a screen in front of me and I felt I was inside it, 3D and HD. All kinds of objects with cartoon effect. I remember seeing an elephant.

After a while felt awareness of the body sexual energy present.

All the Worlds a Play

PART 1
So many thoughts since yesterdays salvia excursion. A lot is lost since so much occurred. I realized after yesterdays session I need to find someone I can rely on as I have the experience and try to document it. I also need a quiet environment, some seclusion is needed.

Luckily yesterday house was empty and I took the opportunity to explore with Salvia. Got my new batch, mostly whole dried leaves. Got the quidding started. One quid, probably a total of 4 or 5 leaves.

The taste was not so bitter. I thought about success because I had on my mind a particular person who has become successful. Then I saw the entire world around me come apart. Every component of my room was a part of an idea, something puts all this together and makes it all appear realistic, solid but everything is just an idea in the mind.

My friend was an idea in my mind. If I am in my room is my friend actually 8 miles away from me or is that distance a part of the idea? If someone enters my room did they actually enter the room or appear only because they are an idea in the mind? I saw everything as conjuring of the mind.

I saw not with my eyes but with understanding that everything was elaborately put together to give the feel or the illusion of it being real when in fact it is all just ideas. I started to see my own life, some of my own ventures that I appear to be participating in. Here in this state I can make it all highly successful, just a bunch of commands. I actually saw in that state that it all had to do with having a vibration of immense confidence. I was extremely confident but I saw that I needed to make certain others not add negative vibrations to this pool of energy that can conjure up the illusion of success.


PART 2
Later on in the evening there was enough leaves for another quid. Something has changed dramatically and this smoothness of transitioning has become a lot easier. No liver pains.

I relaxed, lying down with phone light turned on. I look to my left and the play of shadow and light takes effect. Beings embedded all over my surrounding and wherever I look it seems I am the centre of attention. This is an interesting effect. I look above on the ceiling at a strip of shadow vibrating with beings on the edge making their appearance. A story line started to play out in my mind, I started to think how I could use this particular aspect in one scene.

Then what seemed to be like a story felt to be something that is actual. Once there was a time where all human beings had this sense of awareness, full understanding and wakefulness. I think that time is in every moment fluctuating between wakefulness and sleep. Something changed and cast the veil so that we don't see what I was witnessing at that moment. I wondered what it was that did it and the realization came that we did it, deliberately to ourselves but why? I kept asking that as the beings continued to pulsate. I started to recall The Ringing Cedars Series where there was some mention of this. Of course this story line already existed externally as if these books themselves were a part of the mind. The externally reality is a communication with the mind, the lessons, the teachings, the Truth it's all there.

That desire has become strong now to find someone.

The Pure Hearted

The anger and hate I have been feeling past two weeks has been intense, never in my life have I felt so much hatred towards another person.

I desperately needed some perspective and Salvia is the one that helps me dispel any issues that arise, a great reminder and teacher.

I got my 10x extract out with a little bit of plain leaf on the base. I have stopped using the filters which I believe are made of aluminium and could be what causes the headaches.

1 hit, holding it for about 20 seconds. I felt some slight change but expected something more instant, thinking I needed more I took another hit. Burnt my thumb which is familiar and a signal from the powers that be that I had indeed taken enough and to stop being silly thinking I needed more.

I instantly remembered what I was, what this world is and death. I remember the dying and what it means to be dead.

Dead means to be alive and I was alive fully in my real power and strength. Why, I was so powerful that person who I identified as the cause of massive grief I have felt for the last two weeks could be annihilated with mere commands. It was too easy but in that state comes great understanding, this is the real true state and that part of mind that is curious and wants to understand came to the surface. This is what was understood, to be in that state is to be all powerful. This power source can be awakened in anyone, I'm cheating in some sense...or perhaps not.

While it can be awakened in anyone not everyone can attain it. It is blocked to us all and perhaps rightly so. It is especially blocked to the angry, that does not mean it's available to someone who is all loving.

To the pure hearted this flow of absolute supreme power is completely natural, it is not given or handed down. It is NATURAL!

As I sat down aware of recent behaviour on my part and the situation that caused anger to completely escalate within me, I felt it was abating.

I suddenly thought about my grandmother and wanted to have a conversation with her about death because I felt in that state that she was concerned about dying, like some kind of psychic awareness. I very much wanted to tell her that as death approaches she will notice it and have a feeling that it's coming. Death is nothing to be afraid of, in this death you will know everything. This is going to sound very strange, but I want to ask her if I can be present with her when she does sense it...

I didn't get the usual fluttering of the eyes, that doesn't seem to happen anymore. As I sit here that force or presence is playing with my head by making it sway, swirling in circular directions.

Voices in the Head after Wake Sleep Pattern

Last night woke up around 3am and then attempted to try to sleep at 5am. Relaxed my ears, my head in particular in the brain there was a familiar sensation which in the past I could not tolerate. This time however was able to sustain the feelings without fighting it.

It felt like tuning into a radio station. There were so many conversations, male voices and female voices and at times voices in a crowd.

I listened carefully and at some point did catch onto some sentences. Cannot recall them now. It seemed at one point that the voices were very much memories of past existences but the thought was also there that I was picking up on voices of current existing time. However it could be voices of all time or perhaps voices just in the moment being conjured by the mind.

Again there was the feeling that my brain was operating on a very different level, like some connection was being made.

Past few days I've been eating medium rare lamb meat. I think getting all the b vitamins consistently helped to sustain this operation of the brain. Ordinarily anything like this in the past would give me headaches, and in the past I've never had an episode like this where the voices where this clear.

Hemi Sync Sleep Wake Pattern Induced Experiences

Hemi Sync TGE Sleep Exploration track helps me to sleep and most of the times I've been generally using it for this.

Recently I was listening to Release and Recharge but not quite consciously doing the exercise. With a bit of mj (which is definitely making me very aware of the sounds in a different way) I tried to listen but was suddenly interrupted from a deep state of mind where the brain waves had definitely change. I was startled awake and could not sleep after that. That was the other day, so I just need to make sure I'm not disturbed during those sessions. During the sessions I'm still getting the auto head snapping from side to side. Usually sudden but not as much as before.

Yesterday I listened to Opening The Heart and during the body relaxation exercise I blanked out. Awakened at 1am. Could not sleep at all after this, having the worst insomnia ever. At least managed to get the 4 hours. By 5am still unable to sleep I end up doing a relaxation exercise focusing on my breathing. Suddenly felt that magnetic feeling around me and ended up opening my eyes with new surroundings. I saw a white iron board or something like that in one section of the room. In front of me is a fireplace. While I'm there I know I'm not in the right room, that this is a different place and not the actual bedroom where I was doing the relaxation but I couldn't remember my bedroom, I couldn't quite remember me. However I knew I was somewhere different and I was trying to remember where I was prior to that, it was like that bit of memory was erased but some remnants of knowing so remained. Strangely the living room was familiar, like I knew this place. Not the living room from this house but an actual living room in a different house was suddenly very familiar to me almost as if I was also from here.

I have had these experiences before, Robert Monroe used a phasing technique to get into these states. He also mentioned a lot about my me-here and me-there. Will have to skim through his books if I have the time. Perhaps the hemi sync is opening up some parts of the brain. The feeling of trying to come back to my starting point, which was the bedroom was interesting. I was trying to squeeze back into where I started from without knowing where I had started from. When I did return back to awareness of my current reality bedroom, brain and head felt fuzzy. Like some kind of energy or power was used up, maybe it was all that effort applied, need to learn to relax more into this.

Herbs that allow the Soul Dance and The Eye

So I have been experimenting with another herb. It's pretty amazing, a part of me opens up like I have never witnessed my entire life.

I don't chase after or expect it as it does come to the surface. In one experience I was listening to The Shaman's Heart, a hemisync music album. My body started to naturally move to the rhythm and the beats, I was dancing in unison with the sounds. A tremendous sense of joy burst out of me, and there was just pure happiness. I was partaking of something that was true, that was very real. I guess this is the euphoria.

I do have a lot of sexual experiences when on this, but again do not chase after it. It's like the entire body has it's own will and chooses to orgasm. I think this is some kind of extraordinary energy.

My most recent experience I listened to TGE Sleep Exploration, hemisync audio and my head swayed in a particular pattern and rhythm as if a part of me was listening to the audio in a way that very different to how body responds to it when in the usual sense of awareness. Almost like I'm allowing something to come through whilst in this state.

I looked up at the ceiling and the beings there became visible to me like they do with Salvia but with something else added to the entire phenomena. There is one light that was bulging with an eyeball, it's form was like an eyeball starting down directly at me. And now even if I'm not under the influence of these herbs I can still see it clearly, it looks as if some part of the brain started operating and I learned to see differently and now I know I can see it so I see it. At the same time when I witnessed the open eye I felt a pressure in the middle of the forehead. In another lightbulb I saw vividly the face of a man looking down. Again all around me just like in Salvia, there are forms that I witness and coming out of the state I can still see it, perhaps not so clearly but can do so if I were incredibly quiet in my mind.

I'll be trying out some of the more advanced hemi-sync tracks with these herbs.

The Unknowing

Late night around 1am took Salvia. Here are notes I managed to record coming out of that state. Text in red is afterthoughts for some clarification.

Unknow what is known

You don't exist these things do not exist they are knowledge what is known is in the head.

Everything that we see in life or experience is a part of what is in the mind, thoughts, memories etc.

A certain thing is part of a pattern.

They control a function of something

As example I am detoxing body but they control outcome using my thoughts and expectations

Physically I have certain things releasing (even psychologoically) they’re doing it.

I started to see the forces that controlled everything, the results of my thoughts and actions etc

It’s the knowing. Knowledge that we exist. What exists isn’t what really exists. Everything every one who reads exist as remnants of my mind. 

All things external were internalizing, or I was viewing everything that took place externally, internally. It was like everything outside of me was thought into being. I was thinking of this blog and how I was really in particularly not actually communicating with anyone, it only exists as the mind solidifies it.

What exists is timeless.

What happens to me in my life is in my head

If all knew one would not grieve the dead.

What I say isn’t to be taken seriously

If I tell divulge any secrets to you it is you are the figment of imagination, I am alone.

I have died. Let me be the one to tell you Never mourn the dead, not even the dying.

There is a great sense of peace in this state of pure understanding