The Presence In My Astral Seperation From The Body

This post is adult rated 18+

Woke up 12am, another bout of insomnia. I didn’t take any supplements to help me relax. For some reason constantly needing to empty bladder. Need to do all my drinking early during the day.

After 4 am, relaxed this time again concentrating on forehead. Energy building up, for some reason this seems to be the only way I’m able to relax and get something similar to sleep. Except I’m not asleep, I’m still wide awake.

I heard the music and the song again, this time different. I’m in a dream like state where I am somewhat lucid, there are two creatures. One I recall being panda the other was also some white creature but don’t recall accurately. The panda lifts me up. I can feel sensation on my backside, so vivid. Just too real. I’m not afraid that the panda will drop me as it runs down my stairs carrying me to the front door. After that where I end up is a complete blur.

The scene changes and I know something is with me, inducing these states. I just can’t see it but I know it is definitely present. I am coming out of the body, this time it is strange. The window part everything seems broken as if the image of my wall is having trouble forming according to how it really is in memory. Broken fragments of my surrounding and lots of flashing. I am repeatedly going out of the body and back.

I am suddenly near a scene. Not inside it but looking at it. I look ahead in some kind of mirror. A man is standing and he beckons to a woman. He takes his pants off exposing his penis and she begins to perform oral sex, I can feel to some degree what they are feeling. Suddenly her face is covered in blood, I’m not sure if blood is from her mouth or his penis. I beg the presence to stop this visual several times. I cannot bear watching any more of this and attempt snapping out of it.

I do snap out of it, relieved to be back in bed but thinking why these very gruesome acts are appearing before me. I have one idea and it may be related to a very dear friend. He had a health scare where he found blood in the urine.

I’m so exhausted that I end up going back into that sleep state, very relaxed. There are more scenes of a sexual nature. Suddenly I am in a chair and a man is looking down at me as if examining me. He is African, probably in his mid 40s. Slightly chubby face. He tells me to open my mouth and uses something plastic to keep my mouth open. Then he uses a wood piece in my mouth and just leaves it there. I’m afraid of the plastic and tell him to use another wooden piece. I seem to know what is going on, I’m just not sure if I am myself (my this self) except I feel that I am myself whoever that self is.

Then scene ends and I find I am returning to the body back in bed. I think I am awake back in my room, in my bed, similar surroundings. Suddenly my legs lift up, I am being hung upside down again very aware of this other presence. I know I didn’t lift my legs up wilfully. Who are you? I am pleading for it to reveal its identity, thinking that it is some kind of evil spirit doesn’t quiet put my mind at ease.

Then I get some kind of answer, not in words but in feelings. Right now I can’t even recall what that feeling was, all I remember is disbelief and denial on my part.

Next time I will try and sleep without concentrating on the forehead to see what happens. 

Salvia Mother Earth Insight

Actually this insight is kind of old, however the incidents that led me to take Salvia are new. So I suspected for a few days now since the brain stem attack that I might have some tumors in my brain. Or it could be that I’m just a hypochondriac. However, the headaches and a new onset of nausea meant that the two may be related. I have looked up symptoms which match mine.

I decided to take the Salvia to peace of mind. I like that salvia shows me that this reality is just a game, this puts my mind at ease. I’m always aware of this since my salvia excursions but I get caught up in the daily activity of the world that it is so easy to forget we (our personality, individuality, ego) will not last forever. In fact it is ever changing.

I was listening to my mp3 player to the Soul Songs playlist. Different tracks about nature, love, reality and the divine. I became engrossed with the songs by Denean, Angels Calling Me, Sundancer, Walk In Balance. The message was so clear, the Earth is like an embodiment and some believe it is a mother.

And if you think about it, the Earth is our mother. She provides us with food, warmth, shelter and love all in abundance. It then dawned on me, because of what was being said in the songs that people in the past such as native Americans, were in tune with something we are oblivious to today. They used to sing songs but more importantly the earth communicated with them. The beauty is the communication wasn’t in their mind or a concept or even a psychic experience. The actually heard her voice, I’m not sure how. But certain sounds of the element if heard with a fully open, whole brain make up syllables and vowels which humans can understand.

I recall recently while waiting for a supermarket to open, I stood near the trolleys for quite some time. All of a sudden I heard sound of birds chirping and tweeting. It was such a beautiful symphony, and I’ve hear birds chirping and singing before but nothing as melodious. I thought it was somebody’s ringtone or someone was playing it on a stereo. I looked around to see several birds in one spot. Soon they began gliding across the sky and sat perched on the trees until they departed while I stood there wanting to hear more tunes.

The Earth is our mother, and long ago we had awareness of this. The evidence is in the fact that all people when around nature feel a sense peace and calm, even scientists are confirming this. I feel that the technological age which has already arrived is one that will be very depressing because it will disconnect people even more from the sense of peace and calm that comes with being in nature. Somehow as time has gone by we have become oblivious to this fact, through excessive living and needless stress. 

The current treatment the Earth is receiving from people is abominable, it is akin to rape. And to some degree I am also guilty. I do my best to live in a way that is friendly to the Earth, such as eliminating plastic, using reusables but not really doing enough.

I have an urge to actually connect with nature, live more simple and I am working to that end but at the same time Salvia tells me other things. That even nature is in my mind. That everything that happens and all that is perceived are based on my memories. That people outside me that I perceive to be real are dreamt up, that I dreamed them into being and that upon death this dream world has to also come to an end. 

There is something crucial about the memories, that somehow when parts of the brain are back into action that the Earth which is part of the dream will be a paradise. I have read a lot on Jiddu Krishnamurti’s works and this is something that he brings up on a few of his talks. His take on this is that all is required is only a few handful of people mastering this, although not through time instead it should happen instantly.

I recall in the Salvia state pondering the great tragedy’s around the world, especially various types of crimes that are increasing. I wondered if these people are punished, what happens to them – the answer I got back was “An eye for an eye” not in a callous way, only to explain how the laws operate. If a person murders someone in one life, the murderer must also go through the same fate in another life or even the same life. This means a belief in reincarnation, the Buddhist religion explains it using karma and how our deeds accumulate into other lifetimes. For now I don’t have much of my own thoughts on this but if I use Salvia will ask these questions for clarity.

I really need to take salvia without any external stimuli, no thoughts of this world, no songs to dictate my experience. Soon I will be building up a meditative practice so that I can do this. For now I listen to music, randomly sometimes even the radio because externally there is just too much noise but this will be changing soon.

Kundalini Brain Stem Attack

I have been having the most horrendous headache past two days. Slept fairly okay last night in comparison to how I've slept in past week suffering from bouts of insomnia. Mostly my fault browsing on lit screen throughout the night.

I awoke last night around 1:15am but felt like I slept a long time. Sleep was fairly restful except there was that awful headache. I tried to go back to sleep but this was not happening so I got ready a concoction of b vitamins and hoped the Riboflavin would help with the migraine headaches. This concoction included L theanine to help me relax. I'm not sure if eating turkey, high in tryptophan and some grape juice also helped.

The following is an account of what took place some time after 3am when I tried to relax. I recall now in the incident from the other day with Kundalini activity that I relaxed by focusing on my breathing and an energetic feeling concentrated at the third eye, pineal gland.

I'm changing my writing style so that all experiences are in the present form as if they are happening just so I can recapture the memory and feelings associated with it. Italics will be my thoughts as they happened. The following is an account of what took place.

Relax now, breathe in deeply. Energy concentrates in the forehead. I see swirls and faint shapes with closed eyelids. Soon magnetic force around the body feels like being in a bubble. Who's that? Someone is there, to the right. A woman, no a man. Doesn't matter, it's a person. I feel like hugging this person. The visual gets clearer and the person is singing a song with music playing. The person is disappearing. Another person. Now this is definitely a guy. I don't recognise him. Who do I know that has a beard? A few but definitely don't recognise him. He is singing. What language is he singing? Ok, I got to remember this word, oh and this one (I don't remember it now). I can feel an odd sensation in the brain stem.

They fade away and now I'm aware of something else. Oh my God! The arms, they're raising. Stay calm you're not possessed, just go with it. Whoa, I'm spinning. Maybe I've come out of the body. Fine, I've done this so many times. Easy. Rotating slowly several times. Whoosh, I go backwards, back in the direction of the body and bed. Again rotating. Something is happening to the brain stem. Energy charging almost like being electrocuted sensation. Something is tugging at it. Oh my God! I can't do this, they're snapping the stem. I know something is going to happen to the spine. It's the kundalini energy. Just relax now. Breathe in deeply, you can do this. Oh no! Now I'm aware, too aware of the body now, the tugging on the brain stem is unbearable. I can't do this have to snap out of it. Awake with eyes open. I don't think I can do this again, I'm not ready for anything this drastic.




I realise the travelling out of the body, the visuals and sounds were all there to distract me from what was happening to the body. I have several theories of what could actually be going on:

1. I'm dying
2. I have parasites in the brain ( I do feel a kind of movement inside the brain)
3. I have tumors and they're growing
4. It is Kundalini activity and it's extreme because my health is deteriorating
5. I have a brain chemical imbalance
6. I am possessed by some malignant spirit taking the piss out of me
7. I have some yet to be diagnosed illness of the brain

 

Electric Kundalini Sexual Energy with Benjamin Button and Wisdom's Voice

After I awoke around 1am, there was just no sleeping for me. This is of course terrible considering I tried an experiment where I had turkey for a meal followed by grape juice just to help tryptophan cross the brain barrier. The result is usually a long restful sleep.

5am I am still trying my best to fall asleep. My mind is rampant with thoughts and then I simply decide to think about someone I absolutely love. This put my mind at ease and soon I began to relax. But not for long. I think I entered some kind of meditative state of mind. There is an electrical like feeling in my right hand. The electricity is coursing through the veins. A tingling current like charge travelling up into the neck region where I feel something is concentrating in the back of the neck. Something was happening to my entire body. My teeth began to chatter as my entire body was vibrating with this electricity funnelling throughout the veins.

I literally thought I was dying even though I had some feeling it was Kundalini related. This sort of stuff has not happened in so long and was completely unexpected. I remember some point the right arm lifted and I thought oh goodie I can move and snap out of this. 

I got up just barely lifting my head and then a mans voice penetrated my ear drums, or perhaps it was really a voice in my head. "Stay still or your body will get destroyed, do not move at all" he said it with urgency but at the same time callously. I was beginning to worry that I really am possessed by some entity. I listened and decided to relax on the off chance that I could cause some serious damage if I moved because I myself was already convinced this energy feels dangerous. The energy continued to course through and I was at breaking point. I didn't think I could endure it for much longer and decided that either way I'm going to turn into a pancake. A burnt pancake. My brain was being fried!

If I opened my mouth even slightly my teeth would chatter and then I clenched them and noticed the energy was able to course through the body smoothly whereas opening mouth even a tiny bit meant struggling with the vibrating energy. I endured for quite some time.

I suddenly found myself in another place, another room. I am with a guy I get involved with sexually. It seems I know him and both of us are charged with a high amount of sexual energy. I realize he has receding hair line and could be much older than me. Suddenly he changes form and I wonder whether I am still with the same person. I feel his face and right before my eyes his from is changing. He is younger and better looking. I tell him that he is looking younger, that his look is transforming. He tells me that I am the one who is doing it and I realize that I was actually thinking about him becoming younger and different looking.

We get out of bed and walk into some kind of office. Suddenly I am smothering him with kisses, I seem to be madly in love with him. Feeling a very strange connection. After I kiss him a few times he has suddenly turned into a kid which leaves me shocked and I realize I need to stop. He gives me a very knowing look to imply that I really need to be aware.

I put him on the chair smiling embarrassingly. It was like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Suddenly I could feel that electricity still coursing through the body and soon I snapped out of it panting heavily. That was quite an experience so much that I kept thinking what might have changed internally. One of my thought was that something is with me. The hands floating, the voice it all seems related to some kind of possession. It was 6:10am and I decided not to dwell on it and try to catch up on sleep.

It was daunting because I seriously did not want to have to endure anything like that again. Still I closed my eyes trying to relax. I begin having very vivid dreams. I dreamed about my sisters going through a rough patch. I am in one sisters house eating peanut butter and chocolate muffins. In one dream there are various people with certain conditions, one looks like an actor I've seen before on tv shows, I think in 24 (president Logan). They seem like they've mutated somehow. I walk in with others and the energy seems to change. The actor seems to be channelling something very powerful in that room. He is saying that the one's that will win will be focused on their individuality or have an individual focus. Something along those lines. I woke up around 9:10am.

Battle With A Shadow Man

This happened sometime last week but never got round to writing about it. It was a general astral type experience where I'm floating in and out of consciousness. At some point I'm in bed and there is a black figure above me. Some might call this a shadow person but my room was dark. I felt like it was trying to get inside me, instantly I began chanting "God loves me, He is my savour and He will save me". Feeling like maybe that will not work and I will have to do something myself I started saying "I banish all evil from me".

Moments later I felt like I had some strength in my arms, began lifting them to fight with it. It had a very magnetic like feel. As I pushed it away I felt my fingers were bending until eventually I just snapped out of it. Phew!

Meeting In Secret Place

I woke up around 12ish am and then attempted to fall asleep again at 3am. Relaxed and then at some point out of the body moving rapidly without control south east. I see my niece are able to see me (cannot verify - 1 and 2 year old). They look at me, I'm a little concerned they've woken up from their sleep and sister is not aware. Still I am moving in the same direction away from them.

Can't recall things in sequence. At some point I'm aware that I am entering a restricted place. There are men in what looks like space suits. Someone gives go ahead to allow me to join them and I am somewhere that seems to be secret. Somehow I know I am going to lose memory of all the incidents that have taken place and that is the part that I remember most vividly. They actually allowed me to tour around this secret place knowing that I am going to forget.