States of Mind in Meditation

Yesterday I listened to a few old chakra meditaitons that were collecting dust. Listened to three and my injured arm would suddenly jolt, there were a few jolts of the entire body. It was very relaxing.

I might be trying out the whole astral projection thing I used to be able to do. Early morning I had an opportunity but for some reason these times I'm super alert and awake ready to start my day rather than relax deeply which is what helps me to project.

I'll continue to listen to the occasional meditation audio but need to go back to deep diaphragmatic breathing and focusing on third eye meditation.

The Truth About Psychic Abilities

I had this thought a while back but haven't really come down to writing about it. Long time ago, just before I dabbled in occult, metaphysical matters and started getting into astral projecting I was curious about psychic abilities, ghosts spirits etc. It was fascinating though I never quite believed in these things.

I don't want to say that my opinions have changed regarding the subject when in fact thoughts regarding it has evolved and I never really had much of an opinion. Understandings come to me in flashes now, I just have to think about a subject and I just know and understand things without having to so much as google it. Almost like the mind has a built in search engine. The understandings are more like knowings and they come naturally as part and parcel of whatever my thoughts are dwelling on.

The thoughts came to me when my sister expressed her interests in reading energy and psychic abilities. She had an experience where she knew her colleague was going to leave, soon enough this came to be. I questioned if she believed that we create our reality or reality just happens to us. It was something for me to think about because I have dabbled in the Law of Attraction and have manifested things. The answer in short is: it's both. We create and have the ability to predict because infinite possibilities exist and deep down all knowing exists about everything.

I was thinking about mediums who were able to communicate with dead people. Based on my salvia experiences if people are not real then the dead people seen are like the ghosts of well imaginary beings that were like ghosts anyways.

In some sense mediums are actually not communicating with the spirits of dead people instead they are picking up vibrations from other people.

Example: Sally's mother has passed away, Allison is a medium who picks up on Sally's vibrations and connects with Sally's mother but she is actually picking up on thought patterns, vibrations that are being emitted by Sally. You see Sally's mother is a part of Sally's vibration and thought patterns. And all these vibrations and thought patterns are like residues in the great big mind loaded with ever expanding content (data, information). And you are here on this page, reading this post as a result of that.

Post Head Injury Brain Charge and Kundalini Activity

I had a head injury last weekend (was attacked in an unbelievably horrendous manner). I have survived the incident and am in recovery mode. Experienced some minor memory loss.

Lots of blood loss, I think the blood loss happened for some kind of reason. This is going to sound unusual but I've been detoxing for a while and it's possible that a lot of toxins have been floating around in my system. While in hospital I considered what if the incident (as well as a severe blood loss incident last December) was planned (by the One who dreams up this entire reality) in order for blood loss to remove floating toxins. God works in mysterious ways.

After the incident, first two days falling off to sleep I'd catch myself smiling, a very happy smile and feeling at peace whilst drifting off.

This morning when it was still dark I felt a presence behind me. The encounter was very sexual though no lust present. Presence reminded me of someone I'm currently seeing.

Had the mula bhanda experience, tailbone rattled and then there was a charge in the brain, pulsing electrical sensations.

The Flaming Aircrafts Apocalyptic Dream

Had another apocalyptic dream. Again same sister present. I'm looking out the window the stars are moving too fast but they look too orange to be stars.

Then it's like the screen of the sky is lowered or my eyes zoom in a little. I see clearly that it is aircrafts on fire.

Then it seems I have a false awakening. I look up in the sky tell sister about what I saw and have imminent feeling to group  everyone together. Some kind of war was about to take place, war is what was going to cause the apocalypse.

The black tornado dream

In the dream looking out of window, in the middle of town black smoke, then turns into a black tornado. An apocalyptic feeling. Tell sis R bout this to quickly alert her, show her but it disappears and she does not see it. Then I look again see it turning into a more ferocious tornado, growing bigger.

Other dreams also vivid but this is the only one I recall. Upon waking up felt things moving around my body. Kundalini text reveal this as snake movements around the body. However, I kept thinking what if it was parasites because I have been focusing on detox and stuff so I would think that.

Dream symbology black tornado probably means the end of something or could even be interpreted as the beginning of something have to see my current life circumstances to interpret this.

Yesterday I repeated  sat naam

Another Morning Sexual Incident

Last night read some SGGS (Sri Guru Granth Sahib) and some after awakening around 4 am. By 5 am I attempt to relax and get some sleep. I'm instantly awakened with some sexual arousal that is hard to contain. I am sleeping on my right side. I can feel something holding me in this position. There are amorous feelings coming from it. The closeness is too real. I can feel pressure applied to the side of the neck. I look and see my right arm raising up.

There wasn't that sense of violation, I felt too close to this unknown presence. Tingling and other sensations present, intoxicated trying my best to control myself. When I open eyes I feel right arm underneath resting seeming to have been lifted. It was definitely not right physical arm that moved but a copy or version of it.

No tired feelings, but not too energetic although today got more done than usual.

I feel though what if it is the combination of the others that I see giving me the feeling of being close to something and inducing sexual feelings. I mean after all this human form is what I perceive to be a combination of exactly that at least in those deep Salvia induced meditative states.

Entity sexual experience

Last night I must have fell asleep around 2 or 3 am after being awake for quite long. Also I was pondering the nature of Self, the great mind, that one that alone exists. I thought about all the people, all the things imagined. I focused on mantra I am. My entire night also went about communicating with my surrounding, pondering each particle as Self, I am. Connecting with it all.

I went to bed relaxed but no sleep. All I recall is naturally focusing on nothing, but then felt a cessation of sound and breathing, as though breathing had left or transformed into something un-sensable.

There was silence complete quiet and then a feeling of something coming next to the body. A light bubbly floating kind of weight. On top, felt it all around the legs, and then what followed was like sexual intercourse. My left cheek had a very intense sensation like something touching it there.

There were deep sensations in the forehead area I'm assuming something being done to the third eye. There was also that feeling I get on Salvia where beings that compose the body were moving away, as if retiring from the act of being the body parts. I could sense them. With eyes closed there were also the shadowy silhouettes but was a little faint.

I wasn't quite aroused sexually but stayed silent and still. A few times moved about. Then I just tried my best to sleep but when I went deeper my head jerked with a jolt and I was startled. After a while tried to sleep it off. I woke up feeling not having slept well, missed out on a lot of sleep.