Making Changes

Since my last post where there were many insights into the nature of being I've been wanting to concentrate on it more. However, general normal worldly stuff gets in the way. For a few days now things have gotten increasingly turbulent. It's almost as if the closer I am onto something the more magnetic and even problematic worldly affairs are. It's like the function of the world or something is to keep one astray from that state of mind.

I try to manage the stress but honestly can't believe the amount of stress and strain I have found myself in a matter of days.

Body machine

Following are quick notes I made just coming out of salvia trip and this is probably going to be how my future salvia posts will be (the parts in brackets are things I've added after salvia worn off):

The body high tech device 

Has features unused (body has potential to be used in a certain way)

Produce baby - they're making the meetings causing this and that secretly all producing babies have this goal in mind it's the energies around us (there have been a lot of births in my family, but in general birth rate increased from 2014, also babies I've been around seem a lot smarter)

Force around it (the body)

Imagine what body can do with full charge full force

They're coming through body like full force charge (I felt a force around the body, a kind of charged feeling, something was also funneling through the head)

Body feels like a high tech machinery, so many features 

Baghavad Gita story makes sense the offering and focus on Krishna nothing to do with worship or God or religion - man makes religion (I read this at some point and have notes on only what seemed intriguing to me which were the instructive parts of the story where Lord Krishna explains things to Arjuna)

It's about focus about concentration 

The world is easily distracting (desire, dreams, hopes, fears, worries etc causes a distraction from this state)

By offering duties all actions to that Krishna in story it was about focus on that force, the force isn't self centred or craves attention - it was always about focus, by not focusing on it we go astray- worldly living and endless desires are all distractions (Krishna in the story is like a symbol for this energy which really is difficult to describe with a name or some avatar shrouding it with ideas)

Body is instrument for this energy, a force so great, too great for one body 

The tiredness and fatigue everything it's them, it's because of them but also me somehow. The sudden wanting to drift off and fall asleep is them, brain sometimes feels to switch off.

They can actually do something to the body to make it reproduce without direct insemination, yes think Virgin Mary stuff here.
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I'm writing this after salvia worn off although it's never 100% worn off. I took Salvia late in the night/morning. Instantly I could feel how quickly worldly affairs was pulling me away from these truths, as the salvia was wearing off or should I say as I got distracted by focusing on a project and even stressing a little. I witnessed how quickly and easy it was to stray from that level of awareness, where there is a tremendous amount of clarity.

Cheating with Salvia

Today after I had written my last post I started to feel slightly unbalanced. Yet the unbalanced movements were very controlled as though somehow something was deliberately making those movements with the body, even as I write now it is happening in a very controlled manner my head keeps getting pushed down and actually nodding to say 'no'. Something feels like it wants to woosh into the crown of the head.

It was odd because these sensations had a very salvia vibe to it, however I had yet to soak the leaves getting it ready for chewing as I decided to take it to see if it does anything to detox symptoms.

I had to quickly lie down, this felt urgent, head rotated and I closed eyes, behind closed eyelids very familiar salvia type things going on yet I still had not chewed the leaves. There were movements in the middle of the forehead. About 30 minutes later I started chewing after being interrupted from the trance like state. It was a very small amount and I left the ball of masticated salvia on left side in the mouth.

I went deep as the unravelling took place, biblical things started to make sense. Suddenly I understood what was meant by the sacrificial lamb I can't seem to explain it though. The others are present as usual and seem to be hanging there as if they've been waiting, something felt different this time. It felt like someone I knew or the energy that was present there was so incredibly familiar to me.

The body has to be ready to sustain that state of mind, like something wants to come through it. There was some use for the body. Going much deeper I ended up chewing a few more times at which point there was some commotion from the other beings. It seemed that they were under the impression that something was performed on the body and it worked without any use of (salvia) and they had prepared for something. I realized at that moment that being in that state by the use of Salvia was a bit like cheating. Right now my head feels like it wants to float away.

Salvia Powerdox

I am wondering whether to take salvia and see how that helps along with the detox. I know what will happen when I do take Salvia next, I will be reminded that I am not the body, there will be some communication from the others where I will feel them reminding me of real reasons why things happen and perhaps wondering how I keep falling back in the trap. I will be reminded of the real actual source behind everything, the unlimited power source where anything is possible, yet that power is present only when desire, hopes and dreams come to an end.

Here lies the problem, when there is no desire, fear, dreams and hopes there's only freedom and from there that absolute power is revealed or unleashed where anything is possible yet that power becomes rendered useless because it can only be revealed in the unconflicted state of mind. In this particular state nothing becomes necessary, one has no wish remaining in the heart, one has no unfulfilled hopes or dreams in the mind, so why would it, that state of mind use it?

If that state of mind was to take over the show completely, we would live as though we were nothing, a nobody. I think this is the greatest fear of mankind, we're all afraid to be as we really are which is 'nothing'.

Bee or Wasp Totem Dream Clarity

Yesterday I had food containing more b vitamins but no supplements which is what I wanted to experiment with. I woke up from a very clear dream but is a bit hazy now. I recall there was a wasp or bee present.

Dreams are so much clearer now. Past few days have had some incredibly horrible detox symptoms (due to iodine supplementation). Back pains associated with kidneys and extremely foul urine that caused major burning which could be due to toxins being passed as well as some unusual mood swings, probably explains the zombie nightmare.

Nightmares dreams using iodine and vitamin b connection

I read somewhere that b vitamin, in particular vitamin b6 can induce dreams or give better recall. If you can't recall dreams apparently is a sign of b vitamin deficiency.

I experimented a little with this and for a few days have been eating food with the b vitamins. Yesterday drank iodine mixed in water and painted on soles of feet.

This morning recalled some incredibly vivid dreams. One dream was related to my cousin, in reality I have not been in contact with her but in the dream she is a bit crazy and attacking my sister. Usually in the past this cousin or any member of her family showing up in my dream was some indicator of detox or something cleansing.

Then I had a very bizzare Resident Evil type of dream, the zombies were extremely crazy compared to actual games or movie. There was a lot of action in the dream. There wasn't a single part that was entertaining.

I'm sure there's a whole lot of die off occurring inside the body, also been waking up sweating.

Keep getting magpies on the roof near bedroom, this article on magpies says that magpie people dabble in to everything which I believe to be very relevant to me. Need to slow down, prioritize things.

Iodine induced detox nightmares

I have increased dosage of lugols iodine and am having more of the nightmarish detox that comes along with it.

These are nightmares where I wake up in a pool of sweat. Today's nightmare reminded me of some of the nightmares I used to get with Kundalini activity, those were a lot worse compared to what I'm experiencing now. I have always suspected that Kundalini is mostly detoxifying. Lugol's iodine with co-supps is also detoxifying.

This morning I awakened from the following nightmare. In the dream a young girl we know very well has been attacked. Me and others are talking about this asking, wondering how all of this happened. My nephew is there, it seemed he had witnessed the entire scene. He was looking at us deeply and seriously seemingly still in shock. He begins to tell us that 'how' it happened is not important, we should be asking 'who' or 'what' did it? We waited for his answer, in particular I was feeling quite scared. "It was the demon child" he said. At that moment the child came out of the dark, ran across the room in lightning speed.

I should actually be prepared for these types of nightmares having had them already in the past, however the nightmare I awakened from today would almost stop me from sleeping again.

These chucky dreams are just freakishly uncool!

I found an old dream I had, same almost exact theme to be honest Wild Inner Child.

I try not to make too much of my dreams and interpret them but this one is something of a pattern. The only reason why I would be having this dream is because I am leaving things unexpressed, mostly stuffing certain emotions and hiding things that are kind of just lurking in the dark like the demon child. If I don't let it out, it will attack I guess. Interepreting dreams can get very complicated as they are so personal to the individual having the dream.