Morning Full Song In My Head

This morning I awakened around 4am, unusual things going on yesterday possibly due to extreme heatwave. I feel I'm being challenged in some ways. People that I've been trying to erase and move out of my life popping back in. So much influence and control need to be really strong so I'm not sucked back in. I do believe that some people have the ability to drain your energy.

The reason why I mention this is because I think the song in my head was a song being listened to by one of the person contacting me yesterday. At first the song seemed to be in his language but it took on a different style and accent that I was sure I was listening to something different. I also had the feeling that he was listening to it at the time and then there was that feeling of the body being used by a higher power tuning into different frequencies.

This is the same higher power I am communicating with, when I asked if song was coming from it my head nodded in the affirmative.

You know when you're sleeping it takes over and very rarely you get to catch it in action using the body in so many amazing ways.

Recent deep meditations making me want to write an explanation of the Bhagavad Gita (The Song of the Lord) but a remix version by writing it in a way that can be understood by the 21st Century modern day lay person. Because the time when the Bhagavad Gita came out was way different then todays day and age. In each age these teachings need to be explained and communicated in a different way so as to get through to current day people. I've discovered some very important things whilst reading Bhagavad Gita and going into deep meditation such as the evenness of the breath and how food and thoughts shape the personality and characteristic qualities of a person which the Bhagavad Gita refers to as a person's nature.

I don't see it as my responsibility to help people discover the things I am discovering in my own journey, however I feel very much inclined to do this. At the same time I'm noticing the distractions of ordinary living and this is the challenge. Already people trying to divert my attention.

Phantom Arm and Stab Attack

At my sisters for a few days. The pieces of fire wood have the faces, one being very detailed. Having some nightmares whilst there.

The other day went into her basement and started thinking that the only reason basements have a creepy vibe is because of all those horror movies.

Some of the dreams have been a bit sexual. This morning the nightmare was so realistic I heard myself shriek as I awakened. Before the nightmare I was in that sleep paralysis state, except my right arm felt like it was moving on it's own. I looked to see it only my arm was not there - just the sensation of arm moving. This phantom arm has been present in many other experiences. Sensations felt stronger this time and I was more alert, more awake.

I woke up, attempted to sleep again and then had the nightmare. The doorbell rang. I sensed someone next to me. Looked to the left to see a figure wearing white, then someone in front of me with knife slashing down into my abdomen. This is when I screamed and awakened and as I did looking all about me I saw the figure was converting into duvet and the knife was transforming back into the window screen above on the wall in front of me.

Is reality, dreams and nightmares based on transmorphism? Another word to describe it is transmogrify.

transmorphism: The evolution of one thing from another; the transformation of one thing into another.

transmogrify: To change in appearance or form, especially strangely or grotesquely; transform. 

My feelings and energy has been pretty negative lately maybe this is reason for nightmares recently.

Questions and Answers with My Head

My head moves on it's own, my body very floppy lately - it almost feels like something else wearing me but not being able to control movements 100%. I should be alarmed as I know there are a few physical conditions with body moving like this as a symptom except when I ask it questions there's a response from the movements and it's all so very intelligent, they are not like spasms or sudden jolts. Sometimes it's very dance like swaying which I've read is common with Kundalini Awakenings.

Recently I got advice from it. The details I got are very interesting and they are about life, about where I'm headed and where I should go. Whether or not I should do something. When I go out now whenever I can do it without anyone looking at me I ask it before I take a particular direction.

I jotted it all down to see if it does all come true or I'm just insane...

The Ghost on my Drawer

I had some very interesting dreams, vivid and relating to things going on in life. The theme of the dream was about negative vibes and in the dream I had a sister present and I am showing her how to send out positive vibes and making her aware that she is harboring negative vibes.

In one scene I have a bow with some unusual type of arrow and shoot out an arrow telling my sister to think of sending out positive vibes by this act. A lot of other things began to happen, turning almost nightmarish, with the energy and atmosphere changing really fast.

Suddenly it changes so much to the point I see a ghostly form that has a white face with upper black clothing visible. It felt like a sleep paralysis state and I began trying to snap out being slightly uncomfortable with this ghostly form. As I snapped out I kept a close eye on it and watched the white of its face transform into the white bag on a clay bowl on top of my drawer, the dark body form was just the bowl with parts of the drawer. It's interesting to watch these transitions.

Are hallucinations just simply a distortion of everyday objects? I've had an experience like this before with witnessing the figure of an alien and seeing it transition into a part of my table and more and more I feel I am understanding something difficult to express.

Last night as I tried to sleep I placed my right arm over my eyes and randomly just felt the feeling of my arm, the sense and awareness of being and the external noise were like ideas. That the very feeling of my arm in that moment was make believe, completely imaginary. I became so aware of the feelings which I felt with the idea of the body listening carefully to all the registered output of the sensory projections.

Lights Colors and Rising Command

I awakened last night around 2am back to sleep suddenly aware of colored lights flashing, sparks and feeling of something else around me controlling my movements like a puppeteer. Also at the time of it happening  I kept feeling like it was a seizure. There was non verbal communication yet also felt like I could clearly hear the words, telling me to rise. I felt this sense it telling me to be free by rising.  Just before this happened had lots of tingling feelings in arms like pins and needles felt that I might have slept on my arm causing it to feel numb and stopping blood from circulating properly.

It was a really tough night, lots of discomfort.

Meditation Uncontrolled Breathing

Yesterday evening 9pm tried to start with my very simple meditation but ended up listening to meditation audio by hemi sync "Opening the Heart". Had some white noise in background from distiller.

 About 10 minutes after the audio sometime after the breathing exercise I lost control of the breathing and became aware of an uncontrolled breathing. First there was no breathing with a weightless feeling and suddenly this would be followed by long exhales, but no actual breathing in or at least was not aware of any inhalations.

At the time of it happening I felt very aware that either there was something else that was controlling the breathing (meaning someone else occupying body) or the body capable of doing this on its own.

Obviously we breathe naturally whether awake or not and it seems the body just regulates it. In this case where I am meditating the pattern of breathing is very elaborate, there seemed to be some kind of purpose behind this type of breathing. Maybe just releasing toxins.

After this meditation fell asleep and awakened at around 2:30 am, lots of vivid dreaming right now cannot recall.

Meditation Practice

So once again I am going to be fully dedicating myself to practicing meditation, this time I want to go much deeper and I mean at least as deep as I go with Salvia.

Diaphragmatic breathing and allowing thoughts to naturally dissipate. The key is to simply watch the thoughts pass by. I will also be practicing third eye meditation.

In the past third eye meditation I have had extraordinary experiences such as seeing through the eyelids and watching shapes and forms being drawn with closed eyelids.

I'm also going to be simplifying my life to make time for it.