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Friday 22 April 2011

The Tornado Reenactment and Blindfolded

Yesterday at the funfair I had an urge to go on the tornado - I vowed not to get on any scary looking rides but the kiddie rides were getting boring.

Once I got off I never looked back - it was really surprisingly scary - I have been to bigger theme parks and thought the tornado is just a mini version of other bigger scary rides I've been on - I was clearly mistaken.

On the ride my head did some really weird somersaults - a lot of clicking and definitely something else going on in there.

Last night I wanted to smoke Salvia - but I wanted someone to be present. Youngest sister was there to babysit although I thought it was very unlikely that I was going to be moving about in a hallucination.

Half 10X extract leaf and half unaltered on pipe, did my best to pull but the burning sensation is unpleasant. Felt that fluttering - occured on the first pull. Closed my eyes but my sisters presence was not helping. They're there and I wondered if they moved in my flesh would my sister be able to see them - but there's no knowing where they're going to show up. One slightly moved in feet and I told my sister to keep an eye on my feet - but I guess she thought I was hallucinating and took no notice. Called it quits but after 5 mins I took the Salvia myself and relaxed - choked a few times.

Eyes keep watering when I smoke, breathing is mellowed - almost like it had completely stopped. The eye fluttering increasing rapidly. Went to sleep feeling tired.

Smoked this morning, eyes welled up and then the perception of them emerging. It looks as though they're gone up and round and whilst they're coming down it appears they are screaming (no actual sound - just visual). I know what they're doing - reenacting me on the tornado. I sure don't want to re-live that memory.

I smoked some more but eyes watering heavily - vision was getting very clear I could see them all in HD, so vivid and colored - not just perception - but actual images. Then a shadow slowly began to cloud my vision and I could feel someone deliberately blindfolding me. Vision impaired? Who? And why?

I started to feel both upset and angry. I think maybe smoking is definitely not for me. Maybe try one more time with chewed leaves to see if they really did blindfold me and find out why.

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