Salvia Requests

After a previous experience where there was a letter on my bedside table whilst under the effects I had this urge to hide it as I felt them reading or peering through it - I felt they will use it to plan something - didn't like the idea.

This time made a request for a certain desire to be fulfilled but again it felt so silly to ask for anything.

Salvia Inner and Outer and The Black Cat

1:30pm chew 2 quids - wanted to understand 'The One and Only' portrait again feeling maybe there was something I missed previously. Staring at it the beings did not bother to move this time yet I can clearly see them. Maybe not enough Salvia for them to move - no it's something else.

Closed eyes - other perception - the others perceived through another sight - like closed eyelids were a screen - they all above me uncurling - now's the moment I need to ask them something - no, need to focus on a goal - I want to see the beyond this world and that - the prime, what Buddha and Krishnamurti both touched upon. I want to see beyond and like JK said it's not really so far - the world I perceive is within me - I am in the world and the world is in me - outside projection of inside. Starting to wonder if there is a beyond - what if I'm at the beyond and I don't know it - how will I know when I've reached beyond?

I'm thinking rapidly need to ask something - for something. I ask for changes put forth the desire for good to prevail mankind - request felt bogus there - why would I ask for that? It's not real - I'm asking for a change in the unreal world - the transient. Feel somehow unworthy or maybe I was unclear- too unclear - not sure if they understood.

As usual they're inside me and yet at the same time somewhere on the outside, internal and external.

I can feel them outside in the garden and black cat I saw while ago - this cat earlier in the morning sat still watching me intently - I knew they had something to do with it - now they're giving me the sense that they're in the cat contacting me.

Open door I want to see if it is in the garden. I can sense it by dining room garden exit but door is messed up so I have to use kitchen garden door. Knock on garden door to get it to come round - not bothered really, will contact later - need to go lay down.

Door knock, answer front door so glad that I took only 2 quids. Back in bed chew the other 2 quids.

Perception of many inner activity - don't know what they're up to - I want to understand this deeper.

Something pulled and stretched and stung in left inner nostril.

I know they are a part of me - I know there's an inner world that reflects outside - a projection.

The cat incident is intriguing - this cat has been lurking in garden last night/early morning at 2:30ish am. I was startled awake coz there was a banging sound near garden door in dining room and now I recall that black cat constantly meowing.

I'm not sure if they are operating within it - just that stare I got early morning, it was intense, deep and penetrating.

The Importance of Silence

Chew salvia leaves.
The others are there - I can feel others were all thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts.

I can sense I'm inside myself - the body consciousness - this place can feel like another place but it happens within.

I can feel what feels like Soul but they're thought constructs moving - a group - like acutal beings - I gave up recent ambition, just dissolved partnership and the partner was there and our communication is about this sticky really difficult situation. I communicate to that group telling it exactly how I felt, that there was no joy in it and it needed to end.

Then I understand the thoughts within me are rampant and there's a place when all is quiet - it is there - now I know why there has to be silence and this silence had been emphasized in previous experiences where I would not be passed through to something well guarded simply because there was no silence.

I am the World - The World is Me

Understanding J Krishnamurti's often spoken phrase 'I am the world. And the world is me.' Now I know what he meant by that statement. More on this.

7:10am finished last 2 quids - perception open.

My knees are bent - the beings are chomping at something - I feel sensation on knees - put knees down and theres is a flow - they move freely - no more chomping.

What am I perceiveing - what happens inside the body? An inner world? Going now - start to act like someone else - my thoughts are loud - too loud - this someone else has train of thought broken. I know that we are inside an actual living physical person - my thoughts can possibly be hear by him/her - they might start to think they are hearing voices. Panic a little don't want to cause disturbance.

I realized if I am having an inner experience that translates as body consciousness - and inside I am have the experience of another physically focused on Earth then that means all that happens inside occurs outside.

This outside world is a reflection of the world inside me - the inner world - the perception I've been getting is also the world outside of me.

- What I am is the result of all these thoughts - I am not a singular thought but a complex system of thoughts interwoven into a unit that percieves itself as an individual.

- The other all gathered around me - sensing my understandings. I change the subject to food, feeling hungry - I don't want them to know that I know - strange how I always want to keep these deeper understandings a secret as though if they knew they would do something - it is this unknown something that makes me want to hide.

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I know this experience probably won't make much sense to others - especially if you have not read all the other Salvia posts and so I want to illuminate something here using an example I don't think I've written about.

In one experience my sisters were in the house and I remember I chewed the leaves and I as consciousness spreaded out into external reality I moved downstairs through walls and building parts now immediately you might think I travelled with the astral body but that was not the case. This was pure consciousness wearing each part of physical reality. So I ended up somewhere on the wall, maybe in the flower patterns of the curtains. Looking out in the living room, my sisters and there was another person. Could not see her clearly but suddenly felt the energy of a girl and saw her dancing and moving in a weird way and it was her energy that I was percieving. Once I was sober from Salvia state I asked my sister if someone had come over at any time, she told me it was her friend. I've met her before but in the visual she looked different and it has been a long time since I last saw her.

After visual of this girl I ended up housed in my street and I can feel the presence of the street and I felt as though I was the life of that street. Then focused on a child, nearby school has just finished and school children are headed home. I think I'm embedded somewhere on the child's school bag. The child is holding the mother's hand and I can see them both walking. Then next to me is another being like me embedded in the folder, it is aware of me and looks startled and amazed.

There was also that experience where the others touched areas of the house and I felt they had touched a part of the brain.

And then there are experiences where I see the other beings, especially when I bend my knees, they're chomping at the knees because body needs to be straightened for easier flow, because the physical body is a replication of the entire world. The physical world is inside and the outside is the reflection, the projection. This is something that needs more exploring, something that needs to be understood with greater clarity.

Thought Construction

Last night at 7:30pm chewed quids - just 2 left.

Fell asleep desperately seeking to escape it all - physical life and everything, feeling so depressed.

Middle of sleep awakened to find the window and blinds have been converted forming a Being - moment of clarity.

I knew then at that moment beings, entities, light beings are constructed by thought.

But who thought it into Being? Who converted my blinds and window into that being? I don't recall doing it - unless I was unconscious at the time.

Soul Romance - The Beloved

Last night at 12:35am it was so peaceful, chewed 2 quids and went there or perception of them opened - I saw other souls perhaps connected to neighbouring people.

I noticed these Souls were masculine and got this feeling that my soul too was masculine but I'm not certain, I could be completely wrong as I have been many times before. As far as I can say for now is that these particular lot were male. Also a majority of the faces that I see (pasted on walls, floors, trees etc are male.

They're doing some physical works to the body - pinching nerves - squeezing digestive and endocrine system - painful but I know I can take it, still a few moments I told them about the pain so that maybe they'd be a little more gentle.

Clear visual perception dimmed so I chewed the other 2 but quickly. Glimpses of them and just a sense - I knew the Soul part was active within me - litterally wrapping itself around me.

At 4am I was still awake but wanted to sleep - people in external chatting got me angry - I started hitting the pillow and was in a rage - started to shake my head and witnessed a blob of flashing light, a brilliant white light, so crystal clear even if it just lasted that nano second.

Sexual arousal incredibly strong but I relate it to Soul, Soul was the Beloved? I feel so utterly and insanely in love.

Eventually fall asleep - wake at 7am but try to get more sleep.

So many dreams of Soul communicating, lessons and teachings of the Soul. Told me to look up ceiling and I saw the faces clearly - Soul trying to tell me that it's suppose to be that easy even in physical environment?

It told me many other things of which I cannot recall or perhaps I couldn't comprehend as the communication was non-verbal.

There are doubts - what if I'm being tricked? what if they're just playing with me? I got the sense a few times Soul was perceiving through me, looking out with these physical eyes I am using right now. Level of trust far greater than the doubts.

Kundalini Moves

Ever since Salvia has exploded open this whole other world, my awareness of it has remained open in my waking hours. I could feel the energy move and one way to describe the movement is that similar to a child playing with a doll - in this case I'm the doll.

A few times whilst standing up breathed, relaxed and let go and it, they, kundalini not sure how to refer to it anymore moved me. Usually a swaying movement tipping left and right, a few times I tried to let go fully realizing that I would lose balance and fall.

It seems like they are trying to make me fall over - to fall flat down, luckily I have enough control over it but no idea what their intentions are.

I should mention a few days ago some lump has developed on the right side of my neck - at first I was concerned thinking it may be a tumor. It was so hard thought maybe my bone popped out, when I press it there's pain.
Yesterday relaxed to see what they will do. My head moved leaning towards the right with rest of the body still then it moved to the left and as it stretched that lump really hurt. Then head forward and back. As neck stretched I was reminded of the 5 tibetans and realized they're loosening something within the body and no doubt this is something that carries on in my sleep and could explain the reason for the broken sleep. Then my whole body swayed within this energy and I could feel it like a living pulsing bubble wrapped around me.