I had no intention to use Salvia since last bag was finished - today clearing out the drawers found a full bag of it left I thought it was completely finished - afternoon peaceful in the house except for one sister but she's quiet, sometimes I could hardly tell she's in. Unlike other family members I feel she is the one person who doesn't get in the way.
In that other state not yet closed eyes - I want them to pierce through and observe but there are several questions that I hold in the mind and keep rephrasing until I ask the right question. 'Do others go crazy?' 'Can others see?' no not yet the right question. 'Can more than one person see?' Jackpot - finally got it. I have been pondering this lately - what occurs when you put two people hallucinating in the same space.
Before I close eyes I know they're all present. Closed eyes I could sense and see their attention at certain intervals diverting. They are watching my sister as she moves around the house and I could sense her every move but do not focus, mostly just watching them and their movements. This is the most that they've withdrawn from me - I normally am incredibly jealous when this occurs. However, this time I'm glad. Why? It's almost as if I am telling them, encouraging them to follow her and I feel glad that they're intrigued.
It seems the others have forgotten about me, then there's movement in the body. I could hear in the house the toilet door open, but it's louder than usual. I'm moving now to the toilet where my sister is - I don't see her or the toilet it's all sense based. I'm inside her through some opening - yuck. I feel so squeamish. Why would they bring me here - it's so wrong! There's anxiety, I'm panicking and pray she's not doing number 2 - lol. I know this is going to sound ludicrous but they're also present in feces. When I'm there amongst whatever is going on I'm not seeing crap and all that instead I see the others are there and experiencing what they experience - it's almost as though everything is a joy ride for them.
We're going somewhere else now but I interrupt briefly - then apologize for moving. I keep moving I know I need to stay still.
Energy patterns are trying to wrap around my brain - they're working so hard to make changes - I get this sense that they're trying to make me crazy by society's standards but it's not quite getting there. I think I am more adjusted to society and its ways than I previously thought like I'm holding onto it like a security blanket.
Eyes open and I feel strongly those others a part of the mind - I am not me - 'I' am not the 'I' that has been assumed.
Felt my arms to be individual bits of consciousness as I moved them - the body is not me. There is this oneness and yet there is also this individuality. I know all of this is a part of the whole - I can feel it in the mind. The others seem to be afforded with so much freedom having the ability to stream across everything material and witnessing anything and everything.
I feel to be still moving across this field that is the Mind.
It seems there is a usual routine - they are taking me to certain places kind of adorning this unit with various energy patterns almost doing it secretly. Each time a new energy comes through they have no idea about how I'm half there and half here until of course I make a physical movement at which point there is major commotion. There are occasions when I'm not allowed to go through certain restricted areas. After this session I felt very sleepy forcing myself to stay awake since I had company.
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An interesting thing happened just shortly after Salvia session - niece and nephew wanted to watch a recorded movie, it was left on pause from when they were last here. The movie was 'The Cat in the Hat' Did not watch this movie myself - hit play and it's near the last scene where Alec Baldwin character is claiming the house was alive. The scene then moved on to the party where the girl is saying how you can make the cupcakes out of anything - this part is like some kind of message and I feel that everything that just took place was arranged. It is as if sequence of the days event wanted to lead to that point to carry that particular message. I was still a little under the effects and was able to sense the other living elements all around the house watching, observing no doubt influencing.
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