Awoke at 1am flustered from sexual intensity, fell asleep and then startled awake at 3ish am. Eventually by 6am the miracle occured and I was falling asleep, did not expect a projection.
Very different than the usual projection - can't quite describe it, maybe there was this knowingness about it. Gliding through some hallway, above are round shapes - portals? I knew each represented something - towards end felt like I was being sucked in. Recall at some point going down a staircase only not walking, just in the air suspended and going down - free-flow.
Then a few scenes played out, two I recall was related to marriage. In one I feel a marriage is being arranged, in the second dream I'm in a video call with fiance introducing me to all his friends and family.
I know there was more but this is all I am able to recall at the moment.
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Jealousy
Today at 11:30am decided to take a little trip with Salvia. Now, without being under the effect of Salvia I can see impressions of the 'others' - they are in motion, seeing their sudden movements. More than anything the tactile sensations are incredibly strong and intense when relaxing, napping or sleeping - even in physical activity they seem to be present. I feel lately that some kind of connection has been made.
This time soaked enough leaves to make exactly 4 quids. Salvia is tasting less bitter. I don't know what to expect when going under but I knew for sure to be silent, not worry about external noise even though my sis-in-law and her kids are here for a few days - plus loud noisy sister is in the house. I was silly to think that I could shut out the background noise or that 'they' (the others) have ability to silence those parts just like they did in another experience. Some part of the mind shuts down physical earth environment and I know it is possible like a switch that stops everything.
I chew, relax see them more clearly now. I'm waiting to go to those deeper spaces, where there are areas that are restricted.
My mouth is still, I know to be perfectly silent but background noise oozes in - my niece and nephew talking loud - just focus on silence. Then there's music blasting - wow the timing was just perfect, my loud sister is playing music - Rihanna 'what's my name'. Suddenly the crowd around me is storming over to the other side of the house watching through my sisters bedroom dancing to the tune. They're dancing and I could sense my sister is dancing as well. I'm confused and there's this other emotion, could it be I'm feeling jealous? I'm trying to recall if I've ever felt jealous to see if what I'm feeling now matches that emotion, but I don't recall ever feeling jealous, okay maybe a few times when I was a kid - but never as an adult so it feels a little foreign.
The crowd starts to notice something I think they sense that I feel abandoned or something, they slowly leave the music and approach me, I wave them away tell them it's okay, go back and enjoy the music. I even dance a little to show them that it's fine. They go back only their dancing isn't as upbeat as it was before. Oh my goodness I'm still feeling jealous, but what am I jealous of? Them diverting their attention?
I have nothing to be jealous about. I know these others like to be entertained and you know I could bust a few moves of my own. I get up, head over to my sisters room not so disoriented, one sister doing her make up and other one dancing - I see my niece is dancing as well. I join in and dance with them - it's fun for a little while but I'm feeling so emotionally disturbed - previous feeling has mutated into something else. Get back in bed, the others gather back around me. I see two of them embracing and kissing - I know they're signalling something sexual and that they're gonna get very touchy. Great - so they think after a few releases, not my fault with all the heightened sexual heat - that I'm some kind of master with this activity, or are they doing something I don't fully understand? I tell them that sexual pleasure isn't what I'm about. Again I encourage them to go and dance with my sisters or find something else to entertain themselves with because this show has just been cancelled. I feel like crying but don't want them to see me emotionally distraught so I go under duvet and let it out then I see them in there watching me - seems there's no hiding from them.
I signal them to leave me alone, lately I've become so overly depressed around people and now these beings have somehow heightened my depression. I explain to them how boring and miserable I am and all these overloaded issues that I have to deal with - it's time they move on and take their curiosity and interest elsewhere. Regret unleashing this so I started to just pretend that I can't see them anymore and play with the idea that they've left - what a relief. I notice understanding them becomes difficult when they bleed through physical reality but in the inner experiences where I go deeper, there is more calm a little more understanding on my part and less or no emotional baggage.
Later about 3pm, I tried to meditate hoping maybe I'd end up napping for a good 30mins. Electrical orgasmic charges shocking my legs, and then movement all around me intensifying. I move to rest on front side, my right arm by my side and left arms under the chest relax ready to sleep. Left arm involuntarily moved to the left several times - they're moving my left arm and now that explains all those kriyas (involuntary movements). I give up and leave it by my side. I see them with eyes closed leaning over and kissing my face - odd sensation like a hundred lips kissing each inch of my face, a beating pulsing like sensation.
This time soaked enough leaves to make exactly 4 quids. Salvia is tasting less bitter. I don't know what to expect when going under but I knew for sure to be silent, not worry about external noise even though my sis-in-law and her kids are here for a few days - plus loud noisy sister is in the house. I was silly to think that I could shut out the background noise or that 'they' (the others) have ability to silence those parts just like they did in another experience. Some part of the mind shuts down physical earth environment and I know it is possible like a switch that stops everything.
I chew, relax see them more clearly now. I'm waiting to go to those deeper spaces, where there are areas that are restricted.
My mouth is still, I know to be perfectly silent but background noise oozes in - my niece and nephew talking loud - just focus on silence. Then there's music blasting - wow the timing was just perfect, my loud sister is playing music - Rihanna 'what's my name'. Suddenly the crowd around me is storming over to the other side of the house watching through my sisters bedroom dancing to the tune. They're dancing and I could sense my sister is dancing as well. I'm confused and there's this other emotion, could it be I'm feeling jealous? I'm trying to recall if I've ever felt jealous to see if what I'm feeling now matches that emotion, but I don't recall ever feeling jealous, okay maybe a few times when I was a kid - but never as an adult so it feels a little foreign.
The crowd starts to notice something I think they sense that I feel abandoned or something, they slowly leave the music and approach me, I wave them away tell them it's okay, go back and enjoy the music. I even dance a little to show them that it's fine. They go back only their dancing isn't as upbeat as it was before. Oh my goodness I'm still feeling jealous, but what am I jealous of? Them diverting their attention?
I have nothing to be jealous about. I know these others like to be entertained and you know I could bust a few moves of my own. I get up, head over to my sisters room not so disoriented, one sister doing her make up and other one dancing - I see my niece is dancing as well. I join in and dance with them - it's fun for a little while but I'm feeling so emotionally disturbed - previous feeling has mutated into something else. Get back in bed, the others gather back around me. I see two of them embracing and kissing - I know they're signalling something sexual and that they're gonna get very touchy. Great - so they think after a few releases, not my fault with all the heightened sexual heat - that I'm some kind of master with this activity, or are they doing something I don't fully understand? I tell them that sexual pleasure isn't what I'm about. Again I encourage them to go and dance with my sisters or find something else to entertain themselves with because this show has just been cancelled. I feel like crying but don't want them to see me emotionally distraught so I go under duvet and let it out then I see them in there watching me - seems there's no hiding from them.
I signal them to leave me alone, lately I've become so overly depressed around people and now these beings have somehow heightened my depression. I explain to them how boring and miserable I am and all these overloaded issues that I have to deal with - it's time they move on and take their curiosity and interest elsewhere. Regret unleashing this so I started to just pretend that I can't see them anymore and play with the idea that they've left - what a relief. I notice understanding them becomes difficult when they bleed through physical reality but in the inner experiences where I go deeper, there is more calm a little more understanding on my part and less or no emotional baggage.
Later about 3pm, I tried to meditate hoping maybe I'd end up napping for a good 30mins. Electrical orgasmic charges shocking my legs, and then movement all around me intensifying. I move to rest on front side, my right arm by my side and left arms under the chest relax ready to sleep. Left arm involuntarily moved to the left several times - they're moving my left arm and now that explains all those kriyas (involuntary movements). I give up and leave it by my side. I see them with eyes closed leaning over and kissing my face - odd sensation like a hundred lips kissing each inch of my face, a beating pulsing like sensation.
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Morning Kisses
Kissed by the invisible - it occured 2 more times. The other day in the morning waking up from sleep my head moved spontaneously to the left, lifting up and lips puckered and then the sweetest, most darling kiss. There was this pure innocence about it, this one was playful and made me laugh.
This morning it occured again however with more tactile sensations. I could feel waking up, that presence very close, the duvet moved. My lips reaching out and then a sealed kiss, so sweet yet passionate. I kissed back holding on feeling like I was embraced, then fell asleep again and had many dreams.
The first dream I had was of me and a lover at the beach. He rushes and guides me to the ocean where there is an enormous wave forming. Resting his back on this wave I embrace him and feel the wave carrying us across the ocean.
There were more dreams - too many to write about. I had 2 more experiences with Salvia since last post but so many details, so many new feelings plus emotional releasing, I managed to write as much as I could about it in notebook. Then there are the other experiences that feel like a follow up to the Salvia experience - like how the larger beings / entities have bled through the physical environment in my waking state. Still making sense of it all.
This morning it occured again however with more tactile sensations. I could feel waking up, that presence very close, the duvet moved. My lips reaching out and then a sealed kiss, so sweet yet passionate. I kissed back holding on feeling like I was embraced, then fell asleep again and had many dreams.
The first dream I had was of me and a lover at the beach. He rushes and guides me to the ocean where there is an enormous wave forming. Resting his back on this wave I embrace him and feel the wave carrying us across the ocean.
There were more dreams - too many to write about. I had 2 more experiences with Salvia since last post but so many details, so many new feelings plus emotional releasing, I managed to write as much as I could about it in notebook. Then there are the other experiences that feel like a follow up to the Salvia experience - like how the larger beings / entities have bled through the physical environment in my waking state. Still making sense of it all.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
God, Relatives, Rides and Kundalini - The Great Deception
Prior to this experience I soaked leaves to see if I could contact my friends to help finish what they started. As I got up my body felt so different, like it was very new. Then looked in mirror at my arms and my veins were bulging out so much they looked completely blue - I saw the many faces of entities. Legs moved differently, more entities there. Then I saw the veins pumping in my face, whoa they certainly did change something.
Suddenly my top started to be lifted up, and I knew they wanted me to look at my stomach. During the surgery I recall the abodmen being operated on majorly, endocrine and digestive system transformed.
I lifted the top up and my belly looked to be living - I don't know how else to explain it. I closed eyes haven't yet taken Salvia. I see with that perception that my friends were hovering above me - I feel I need to bow my head down to show them that I'm aware of them. They signal something, I can feel a touch near right ear - they want to get inside there. Still standing, eyes closed I feel them entering ears and there was tactile sensation.
Lay down, more of them getting in - my ear canal heats up and I feel a fluttering sensation that has happened many times before. Then feel them making changes in the brain, possibly activating something. I hear a bird croaking outside and it sounds like it is saying 'Help'. I reconsider taking Salvia again, what if my friends have to flee again. At about 1pm I was just about ready to throw the leaves - such a waste, I could've saved it for next time. As I am just about to chuck it I change my decision, why not just finish it instead of wasting it.
Get back in room and chew away and I was so glad to have changed my mind for what took place was just astounding, I find that I am reaching something.
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I chew the leaves at 1:30pm. Close eyes and immediately there is a perception of holy people dressed up in terracotta and white outfits. They look simple yet so stunning nothing I had ever witnessed in physical environment. I noticed the change, this time my perception was in full color. These holy people are greeting us, next to me I see other children - my friends. The holy people are moving outwards to reveal someone. The children are so excited. Then I see him, he looks like a very old man, so old yet so strong and wise looking. He had a white moustache and beard and I think a bald patch on the middle of his head. Could this be God? Could this really be the Father of all Fathers?
He didn't feel like God in the sense of what I thought God was - like everything I had thought was some kind of misconception - that I had decieved myself creating him in a certain image. He looked more like a very ancient, no doubt wise Grandfather to me. Something so humble about all that I was witnessing. Still I could not recognise him I think because I was comparing my reaction to the other childrens reaction. They looked so happy and ran to him. I followed them knowing I have to act like them otherwise I'll get caught out. He has his arms opened and looks to be wearing a cloak which has pouches, inside these pouches are many other children. They're warm and snuggled. He has so many pouches and with one embrace he warms all his children at once. They love him so much but the difference between me and them is that they know him - I feel as if I'm seeing him for the first time and I can't feel any emotion nor recognition, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel - still analyzing the situation. I wonder can he tell that I'm different, will he be upset - what will he do and I feel maybe he won't mind it so much.
We're in this embrace and I'm still trying to feel something. It is warm but still I don't know him. The embrace lasts a few moments and then all the children are on a ride. The holy ones are moving us along now. I know now that all I have to do to go unnoticed is to simply copy my friends - to be like them.
We're in a large hall now - performing a kind of worship. No, not worship, it was devotion - we were devoting ourselves to the one we had just embraced. I look at the other children, their arms raised up and falling down to the ground - they spoke, I heard the sounds - it wasn't ordinary human sounds. I join in and copy them - can't just stay still. They look at me happily and I try to copy the sounds, I imagine I'm half doing it right. If I were to translate with human words - I think we were saying something like 'Praise the Lord' over and over again, happily cheering. They didn't looked to be forced into doing this, it was something they always looked forward to and no one put them up to it. I look at the children and they have this particular look about them, everything they're wearing is like a uniform and that's when I realize what that whole psychic surgery was about - they were stitching me a garment to make me look more like them and this is why so far I'm allowed to be here, otherwise I would've been booted out. My friends are genius they planned this all out so that I can stay with them there.
Suddenly we're moving out to a grand field, there's a motherly figure nearby. The children run to her and each child tenderly with an indescribable affection kiss her on her lips. I stand back, I signal to the children that I wouldn't dare go up to her - she'll catch me out instantly. The children give me a look and tell mother that we're heading out somewhere now, just going out to play.
We're all on a carriage now, suddenly we're stopped and the two horsemen get off and notice something different. They eventually approach me and there is this deadening silence coming from the children. I stay quiet. They are now right in my face - they know I'm different but they need to prove it somehow, especially now that I look exactly like those children. Then the two men start doing something really weird and funny, they whizz and changing they're form making a kind of sound in order to startle me. I just watch as though I'm confused by their odd behaviour. I know that if I open the physical eyes I will be immediately caught out - these knowings just come to me.
They give up and we're moving along now, phew - I think I'm getting really good at acting. Now we're on the ride, everyone is buckled up. This carriage is so familiar, I remember being on it before. The children are so excited and so am I. I am looking forward to this but I also know it means some kind of end to the physical reality - that where ever I'm going now there's no coming back to this reality in the way I've become accustomed to.
Everyone is moving in a direction, one by one being launched. I can't wait till it is my turn and then that moment arrives and I am not at all worried about leaving earth life behind. Something's wrong I feel I'm moving in the direction of the launch but I can feel my mind is strapped and there's the sensation of my physical body. I am telling the other children that I so want to go but someone has strapped my mind to the body and I can't leave. Why would anyone tie me up to the physical existence - I know someone is behind it and I feel it is important to tell my friends about this so they can help me. Suddenly there's a commotion stirring up regarding my lack of ability to move forward. Then many other forces are strolling by each getting a good look at me - they're trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I keep my physical eyes securely closed. I am getting really good at this acting out with the help of my new garment that they still cannot figure it out. Then the children, my friends take me to someone in order to fix this situation.
We are in a room now where there is Guru, teacher like being. He is seated on some raised platform. I immediately state that I don't need a Guru, I'm my own guru. When he sees the children there is this smile on his face, it looks really sensual. The children go to him and kiss him on the lips. There is something very sexual about this Guru. He embraces the children and they are communicating with him, then they bring him closer to where I am standing. He is inspecting me now, trying to figure out what is different about me. The children have already told him but he wants to see for himself. I still keep my eyes closed why would I want to reveal myself especially now that I've come this far.
In the physical the telephone rings - it's so annoying and loud. I accidently open my eyes and quickly close them - now that being looks at me absolutely astounded as if he had just witnessed an incredible phenomena for a fleeting moment. Dammit! - I just blew my cover. I give up and open my physical eyes revealing my condition to that Guru like being. He is bleeding through physical reality, close eyes perception is clearer. I see he is approaching me gently, now he is on top and I can feel his intention - it's like he wants to have sex but not quite for the reason ordinary people would have sex. This is some kind of process and I start to understand after a short while when the base of my spine rattles, back and soles of feet start to heat up, he is working on raising the energy that I have come to know as Kundalini.
The process is still going on even as I write this and it has been extreme since it started. I can feel the movement, there isn't any sexual arousal except that I felt ecstatic bliss rushing through legs and a few on back of neck. This morning I jolted up as ecstacy erupted through right leg. So many Kundalini symptoms too many to list right now.
Suddenly my top started to be lifted up, and I knew they wanted me to look at my stomach. During the surgery I recall the abodmen being operated on majorly, endocrine and digestive system transformed.
I lifted the top up and my belly looked to be living - I don't know how else to explain it. I closed eyes haven't yet taken Salvia. I see with that perception that my friends were hovering above me - I feel I need to bow my head down to show them that I'm aware of them. They signal something, I can feel a touch near right ear - they want to get inside there. Still standing, eyes closed I feel them entering ears and there was tactile sensation.
Lay down, more of them getting in - my ear canal heats up and I feel a fluttering sensation that has happened many times before. Then feel them making changes in the brain, possibly activating something. I hear a bird croaking outside and it sounds like it is saying 'Help'. I reconsider taking Salvia again, what if my friends have to flee again. At about 1pm I was just about ready to throw the leaves - such a waste, I could've saved it for next time. As I am just about to chuck it I change my decision, why not just finish it instead of wasting it.
Get back in room and chew away and I was so glad to have changed my mind for what took place was just astounding, I find that I am reaching something.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I chew the leaves at 1:30pm. Close eyes and immediately there is a perception of holy people dressed up in terracotta and white outfits. They look simple yet so stunning nothing I had ever witnessed in physical environment. I noticed the change, this time my perception was in full color. These holy people are greeting us, next to me I see other children - my friends. The holy people are moving outwards to reveal someone. The children are so excited. Then I see him, he looks like a very old man, so old yet so strong and wise looking. He had a white moustache and beard and I think a bald patch on the middle of his head. Could this be God? Could this really be the Father of all Fathers?
He didn't feel like God in the sense of what I thought God was - like everything I had thought was some kind of misconception - that I had decieved myself creating him in a certain image. He looked more like a very ancient, no doubt wise Grandfather to me. Something so humble about all that I was witnessing. Still I could not recognise him I think because I was comparing my reaction to the other childrens reaction. They looked so happy and ran to him. I followed them knowing I have to act like them otherwise I'll get caught out. He has his arms opened and looks to be wearing a cloak which has pouches, inside these pouches are many other children. They're warm and snuggled. He has so many pouches and with one embrace he warms all his children at once. They love him so much but the difference between me and them is that they know him - I feel as if I'm seeing him for the first time and I can't feel any emotion nor recognition, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel - still analyzing the situation. I wonder can he tell that I'm different, will he be upset - what will he do and I feel maybe he won't mind it so much.
We're in this embrace and I'm still trying to feel something. It is warm but still I don't know him. The embrace lasts a few moments and then all the children are on a ride. The holy ones are moving us along now. I know now that all I have to do to go unnoticed is to simply copy my friends - to be like them.
We're in a large hall now - performing a kind of worship. No, not worship, it was devotion - we were devoting ourselves to the one we had just embraced. I look at the other children, their arms raised up and falling down to the ground - they spoke, I heard the sounds - it wasn't ordinary human sounds. I join in and copy them - can't just stay still. They look at me happily and I try to copy the sounds, I imagine I'm half doing it right. If I were to translate with human words - I think we were saying something like 'Praise the Lord' over and over again, happily cheering. They didn't looked to be forced into doing this, it was something they always looked forward to and no one put them up to it. I look at the children and they have this particular look about them, everything they're wearing is like a uniform and that's when I realize what that whole psychic surgery was about - they were stitching me a garment to make me look more like them and this is why so far I'm allowed to be here, otherwise I would've been booted out. My friends are genius they planned this all out so that I can stay with them there.
Suddenly we're moving out to a grand field, there's a motherly figure nearby. The children run to her and each child tenderly with an indescribable affection kiss her on her lips. I stand back, I signal to the children that I wouldn't dare go up to her - she'll catch me out instantly. The children give me a look and tell mother that we're heading out somewhere now, just going out to play.
We're all on a carriage now, suddenly we're stopped and the two horsemen get off and notice something different. They eventually approach me and there is this deadening silence coming from the children. I stay quiet. They are now right in my face - they know I'm different but they need to prove it somehow, especially now that I look exactly like those children. Then the two men start doing something really weird and funny, they whizz and changing they're form making a kind of sound in order to startle me. I just watch as though I'm confused by their odd behaviour. I know that if I open the physical eyes I will be immediately caught out - these knowings just come to me.
They give up and we're moving along now, phew - I think I'm getting really good at acting. Now we're on the ride, everyone is buckled up. This carriage is so familiar, I remember being on it before. The children are so excited and so am I. I am looking forward to this but I also know it means some kind of end to the physical reality - that where ever I'm going now there's no coming back to this reality in the way I've become accustomed to.
Everyone is moving in a direction, one by one being launched. I can't wait till it is my turn and then that moment arrives and I am not at all worried about leaving earth life behind. Something's wrong I feel I'm moving in the direction of the launch but I can feel my mind is strapped and there's the sensation of my physical body. I am telling the other children that I so want to go but someone has strapped my mind to the body and I can't leave. Why would anyone tie me up to the physical existence - I know someone is behind it and I feel it is important to tell my friends about this so they can help me. Suddenly there's a commotion stirring up regarding my lack of ability to move forward. Then many other forces are strolling by each getting a good look at me - they're trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I keep my physical eyes securely closed. I am getting really good at this acting out with the help of my new garment that they still cannot figure it out. Then the children, my friends take me to someone in order to fix this situation.
We are in a room now where there is Guru, teacher like being. He is seated on some raised platform. I immediately state that I don't need a Guru, I'm my own guru. When he sees the children there is this smile on his face, it looks really sensual. The children go to him and kiss him on the lips. There is something very sexual about this Guru. He embraces the children and they are communicating with him, then they bring him closer to where I am standing. He is inspecting me now, trying to figure out what is different about me. The children have already told him but he wants to see for himself. I still keep my eyes closed why would I want to reveal myself especially now that I've come this far.
In the physical the telephone rings - it's so annoying and loud. I accidently open my eyes and quickly close them - now that being looks at me absolutely astounded as if he had just witnessed an incredible phenomena for a fleeting moment. Dammit! - I just blew my cover. I give up and open my physical eyes revealing my condition to that Guru like being. He is bleeding through physical reality, close eyes perception is clearer. I see he is approaching me gently, now he is on top and I can feel his intention - it's like he wants to have sex but not quite for the reason ordinary people would have sex. This is some kind of process and I start to understand after a short while when the base of my spine rattles, back and soles of feet start to heat up, he is working on raising the energy that I have come to know as Kundalini.
The process is still going on even as I write this and it has been extreme since it started. I can feel the movement, there isn't any sexual arousal except that I felt ecstatic bliss rushing through legs and a few on back of neck. This morning I jolted up as ecstacy erupted through right leg. So many Kundalini symptoms too many to list right now.
New Clothes - Psychic Surgery
Woke at 1:15am but 2am gave Salvia another shot since there was this perfect silence. I transition fast with immediate perception of friends.
The Surgery
We're going shopping. There's some assistant I feel my friend asking for a completely new outfit for me. Once again I am given temporary persmission to go through certain restricted areas for what appears to be 'my kind'. There's a conveyor belt and I get this sense that we're looking for a new pair of boots. Upon further observation I see that these aren't ordinary boots that humans wear. They are actual physical human fleshy legs. I slip into a pair that seems to fit perfectly but panic. What if they don't fit so well, wouldn't there be some problem in physical. What if I end up walking strangely in physical. They are moving me faster now, we're in such a rush I don't get more time to think more about my concerns. There are more conveyor belts - I see hanging carcasses - actual human flesh and immediately realize these aren't simply bodies, they're garments. There's a really strange looking woman whose flesh is forming and binding like she's trying everything out - this is stuff that you'd think only appear in horror movies. Strangely I'm not afraid - I've moved beyond fear. They are now picking something suitable for me. I don't seem to have much of a say - I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear - feel really new to this so I leave it to the experts. Besides, I seem to have no idea why they're so interested in getting me a new outfit. Being wheeled somewhere and over me I can feel they have arranged the garment - put the parts together.
Suddenly perception of this other place is dimming - I have to get back something's about to happen so I chew remaning leaves. I can feel others around me but at the same time a new energy or force has come through. I can feel the entity of this house is being plucked like some kind of mother has come to pick her children up. They're all adamant about not leaving and point at me, that they won't leave without me. The energy observes me, they've just noticed something. I feel I am surrounded now. I get this impression, they're going to perform a kind of surgery on me. Wow a psychic surgery, I am so excited, will this heal the physical body, make it stronger maybe I'll get some kind of special ability from this. Fine, I'm ready do what you have to do.
They get working and from 3am to 7am I am awake, stay absolutely still and feel the entire procedure - very intense yet pain free. The only thing that really felt bothersome was staying still my body had compressed so much into the mattress I can feel springs pressing on my flesh. The sensations though pain free were so intense. It started with each toes being pressed repeatedly. I felt this extreme pumping of the veins, like something inside them. Pressures under feet, something pushing through. One point my entire body heated up I thought they literally set me on fire and I was actually burning. There were moments when several aeroplanes passed by in the dark sky, and the lights were so alarmingly intense and bright.
Post- Surgery
By 7am the procedure was still not complete and I couldn't sense them - didn't know if I could move or what. Moved arms slowly, grabbed salvia bowl - still a lot left. Started chewing, I want to know what's next - I really want to be able to move again. I wish they could put me to sleep if it was still not yet complee. New forces have come through, I particularly recall two men and some elders. We've just been caught and I sense that the one's performing surgery have fled. I feel so abandoned. I can't recall when but at some point, I felt to be on a stretcher, my friends were wheeling me out - hiding somehwere, so the elders don't notice. I get lost somehow in a factory where I see other beings that look like toy soldiers being prepared for something. On their foreheads they are being stamped with black ink. I am on the conveyor belt and about to get stamped. Then I'm found again being wheeled. I see there is a tunnel, we're going through, first my friends are going and then one friend stands near the threshold encouraging me to quickly get in. I move in but something is pulling me back - I want to go in but I can't I look at my friend confused and being sucked away, seperated from them I am being sucked back into physical environment.
What now? Are they just gonna leave me half done, what about my physical life? Will I end up totally crippled. I want to cry, telling the elders who are still there to let my friends complete this now. I am explaining to them that they were performing a kind of surgery on me. I so regret taking more Salvia - it is like with each new intake there's a louder sound that emits from you and others will hear you. So, by taking more at that time I created more noise and attracted forces that did not approve of what was going on.
Still the sense that I got from the two men was that they're listening to me and trying to understand me - I think the problem was I just could not understand them. Opened physical eyes and decided to just make peace with the situation. What's done is done, who knows maybe the procedure will be complete later. I became increasingly depressed after this.
It was only in my next experience that I found out that they weren't psychic surgeons but tailors - they were stitching my new garment and there is a very important reason why they had to do this.
The Surgery
We're going shopping. There's some assistant I feel my friend asking for a completely new outfit for me. Once again I am given temporary persmission to go through certain restricted areas for what appears to be 'my kind'. There's a conveyor belt and I get this sense that we're looking for a new pair of boots. Upon further observation I see that these aren't ordinary boots that humans wear. They are actual physical human fleshy legs. I slip into a pair that seems to fit perfectly but panic. What if they don't fit so well, wouldn't there be some problem in physical. What if I end up walking strangely in physical. They are moving me faster now, we're in such a rush I don't get more time to think more about my concerns. There are more conveyor belts - I see hanging carcasses - actual human flesh and immediately realize these aren't simply bodies, they're garments. There's a really strange looking woman whose flesh is forming and binding like she's trying everything out - this is stuff that you'd think only appear in horror movies. Strangely I'm not afraid - I've moved beyond fear. They are now picking something suitable for me. I don't seem to have much of a say - I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear - feel really new to this so I leave it to the experts. Besides, I seem to have no idea why they're so interested in getting me a new outfit. Being wheeled somewhere and over me I can feel they have arranged the garment - put the parts together.
Suddenly perception of this other place is dimming - I have to get back something's about to happen so I chew remaning leaves. I can feel others around me but at the same time a new energy or force has come through. I can feel the entity of this house is being plucked like some kind of mother has come to pick her children up. They're all adamant about not leaving and point at me, that they won't leave without me. The energy observes me, they've just noticed something. I feel I am surrounded now. I get this impression, they're going to perform a kind of surgery on me. Wow a psychic surgery, I am so excited, will this heal the physical body, make it stronger maybe I'll get some kind of special ability from this. Fine, I'm ready do what you have to do.
They get working and from 3am to 7am I am awake, stay absolutely still and feel the entire procedure - very intense yet pain free. The only thing that really felt bothersome was staying still my body had compressed so much into the mattress I can feel springs pressing on my flesh. The sensations though pain free were so intense. It started with each toes being pressed repeatedly. I felt this extreme pumping of the veins, like something inside them. Pressures under feet, something pushing through. One point my entire body heated up I thought they literally set me on fire and I was actually burning. There were moments when several aeroplanes passed by in the dark sky, and the lights were so alarmingly intense and bright.
Post- Surgery
By 7am the procedure was still not complete and I couldn't sense them - didn't know if I could move or what. Moved arms slowly, grabbed salvia bowl - still a lot left. Started chewing, I want to know what's next - I really want to be able to move again. I wish they could put me to sleep if it was still not yet complee. New forces have come through, I particularly recall two men and some elders. We've just been caught and I sense that the one's performing surgery have fled. I feel so abandoned. I can't recall when but at some point, I felt to be on a stretcher, my friends were wheeling me out - hiding somehwere, so the elders don't notice. I get lost somehow in a factory where I see other beings that look like toy soldiers being prepared for something. On their foreheads they are being stamped with black ink. I am on the conveyor belt and about to get stamped. Then I'm found again being wheeled. I see there is a tunnel, we're going through, first my friends are going and then one friend stands near the threshold encouraging me to quickly get in. I move in but something is pulling me back - I want to go in but I can't I look at my friend confused and being sucked away, seperated from them I am being sucked back into physical environment.
What now? Are they just gonna leave me half done, what about my physical life? Will I end up totally crippled. I want to cry, telling the elders who are still there to let my friends complete this now. I am explaining to them that they were performing a kind of surgery on me. I so regret taking more Salvia - it is like with each new intake there's a louder sound that emits from you and others will hear you. So, by taking more at that time I created more noise and attracted forces that did not approve of what was going on.
Still the sense that I got from the two men was that they're listening to me and trying to understand me - I think the problem was I just could not understand them. Opened physical eyes and decided to just make peace with the situation. What's done is done, who knows maybe the procedure will be complete later. I became increasingly depressed after this.
It was only in my next experience that I found out that they weren't psychic surgeons but tailors - they were stitching my new garment and there is a very important reason why they had to do this.
A Friendly Change
NB: all thoughts will be italicized and conversations with quotations marks - relaying as if it is occuring in present time.
It is 9pm, I chew leaves and lay down. Shifting smoothly and this time I am allowed to pass through certain areas.
They scan me, see that I'm different and could not go through a certain point, immediately passed through where I had permission or I think they just made exception for this one time. Journey through, we're on a ride, the others next to me I know them to be my friends who have been helping me in these trips.
Moving along I'm excited but know to remain quiet if I want to avoid getting booted out.
We're somewhere now, a large room filled with these gigantic beings who look no different to humans, only there is something different. Everyone is standing, it is actually pretty noisy in here. Not sure what we're doing but observe and I simply copy my friends - need to act like them so I blend in to some degree.
They are practicing a dance move. Each being is waving the left arm watching carefully a realization comes to me - that movement is collapsing worlds, ending worlds it is like this is what apocalypse is - the destruction of a world. Then they wave right arm and now there is a creation of another world, the construction phase. Amazing wow, wait till I get back to physical. So this is what is going on Earth - the world is ending but there will be something new. How many worlds are there. Stay quiet you're making too much noise. I think they're starting to glance in my direction. Quickly taken out of there. My friends and I are now buckled up on a carriage like going on a roller coaster ride. The carriage moves on the tracks. I feel good to be with them, so excited and looking forward to our next trip - wow just how much more is there to see? Remain quiet - this silence is so important.
Suddenly whilst carriage is in motion one side where my friends are seated is seperated and moving in another direction. I look back wanting to reach out to them. Very afraid, what's happening this is not meant to happen, what am I to do without them, now I'm really lost. I see on my carriage there are still a few of my friends but they can't do anything other than cling to me.
Someone is coming through, I feel them and then see them. They at first look like a bunch of teenage boys. I have just been hijacked, I think one of them is familiar maybe the boy who tried to run away with my house in another experience. I feel like I'm in this position where they have the upper hand and I'd have to follow their orders. They look at me curiously, trying to figure something out. The boy is pointing saying that I am that person they've been talking about. I seem to have built up a fanbase - the last thing I want is attention, espcecially from these lot.
They want to play with me and I just want to travel with my friends. I don't think they want to play with me over there, instead they're more interested in coming to the physical environment and playing with me there. I open eyes and they have bled through my room so much that I am seeing two worlds entwined, when I open my physical eyes they can see physical environment. Suddenly I see that older bearded men have now joined the party. I really don't want to play with these guys, I have become already so bored of them. They want me to do something - I know they want me to masturbate. I tell them I will not do anything they ask me, they're starting to inspect my room. I know they're up to something, they are formulating a plan for me. I know I need to distract them and do what they've asked of me in order to divert their attention.
A short while later, I'm so pissed. How dare they, and how comes they get permission to hijack me and yet I'm not allowed to go through certain points? Just what is the meaning of all this? I thought the other side would be all spiritual and good, I am learning otherwise.
There's still some more soaked Salvia left - this time just after 10pm I state an intention: my intention is to meet all those who are interested in my growth and development and wish to support me. Those who are not interested in my growth and development I ask you kindly to leave now.
I shift and am quickly amongst friends travelling in some field where I'm just touring, but it is all so familiar. I feel I am hanging out with this person I think a male or perhaps neither, a very good friend of mine. We're moving about and he tells me if I've heard about this girl creating so much commotion and then he takes me to her place and shows me what is going on.
There's a group of boys, barking like dogs and cheering, they are on top of a house - a bunch of horndogs humping the house, rocking back and forth. They're like loose wild animals, they need to be caged or something. Me and my friend move to them to get a closer look as soon as I get there I feel something that feels familiar to me. Uh oh - that girl is me. Now I see they're sexually manipulating me and no doubt having a good time. Ugh those rascals! just wait till I get back. I am kind of embarrassed with some of my actions but my friend does not judge me, instead he is telling me about an intricate plan - it is something that hasn't ever been performed by him. I'm listening, we went somewhere deeper - I think he's taking me somewhere but I can't go beyond the threshold. There's physical noise sucking me back to Earth environment.
Slowly I am back in physical and feel energy column near spine and other sensations, these sensations are not sexually stimulating me. I know it is my friend, performing that change we agreed on.
It is 9pm, I chew leaves and lay down. Shifting smoothly and this time I am allowed to pass through certain areas.
They scan me, see that I'm different and could not go through a certain point, immediately passed through where I had permission or I think they just made exception for this one time. Journey through, we're on a ride, the others next to me I know them to be my friends who have been helping me in these trips.
Moving along I'm excited but know to remain quiet if I want to avoid getting booted out.
We're somewhere now, a large room filled with these gigantic beings who look no different to humans, only there is something different. Everyone is standing, it is actually pretty noisy in here. Not sure what we're doing but observe and I simply copy my friends - need to act like them so I blend in to some degree.
They are practicing a dance move. Each being is waving the left arm watching carefully a realization comes to me - that movement is collapsing worlds, ending worlds it is like this is what apocalypse is - the destruction of a world. Then they wave right arm and now there is a creation of another world, the construction phase. Amazing wow, wait till I get back to physical. So this is what is going on Earth - the world is ending but there will be something new. How many worlds are there. Stay quiet you're making too much noise. I think they're starting to glance in my direction. Quickly taken out of there. My friends and I are now buckled up on a carriage like going on a roller coaster ride. The carriage moves on the tracks. I feel good to be with them, so excited and looking forward to our next trip - wow just how much more is there to see? Remain quiet - this silence is so important.
Suddenly whilst carriage is in motion one side where my friends are seated is seperated and moving in another direction. I look back wanting to reach out to them. Very afraid, what's happening this is not meant to happen, what am I to do without them, now I'm really lost. I see on my carriage there are still a few of my friends but they can't do anything other than cling to me.
Someone is coming through, I feel them and then see them. They at first look like a bunch of teenage boys. I have just been hijacked, I think one of them is familiar maybe the boy who tried to run away with my house in another experience. I feel like I'm in this position where they have the upper hand and I'd have to follow their orders. They look at me curiously, trying to figure something out. The boy is pointing saying that I am that person they've been talking about. I seem to have built up a fanbase - the last thing I want is attention, espcecially from these lot.
They want to play with me and I just want to travel with my friends. I don't think they want to play with me over there, instead they're more interested in coming to the physical environment and playing with me there. I open eyes and they have bled through my room so much that I am seeing two worlds entwined, when I open my physical eyes they can see physical environment. Suddenly I see that older bearded men have now joined the party. I really don't want to play with these guys, I have become already so bored of them. They want me to do something - I know they want me to masturbate. I tell them I will not do anything they ask me, they're starting to inspect my room. I know they're up to something, they are formulating a plan for me. I know I need to distract them and do what they've asked of me in order to divert their attention.
A short while later, I'm so pissed. How dare they, and how comes they get permission to hijack me and yet I'm not allowed to go through certain points? Just what is the meaning of all this? I thought the other side would be all spiritual and good, I am learning otherwise.
There's still some more soaked Salvia left - this time just after 10pm I state an intention: my intention is to meet all those who are interested in my growth and development and wish to support me. Those who are not interested in my growth and development I ask you kindly to leave now.
I shift and am quickly amongst friends travelling in some field where I'm just touring, but it is all so familiar. I feel I am hanging out with this person I think a male or perhaps neither, a very good friend of mine. We're moving about and he tells me if I've heard about this girl creating so much commotion and then he takes me to her place and shows me what is going on.
There's a group of boys, barking like dogs and cheering, they are on top of a house - a bunch of horndogs humping the house, rocking back and forth. They're like loose wild animals, they need to be caged or something. Me and my friend move to them to get a closer look as soon as I get there I feel something that feels familiar to me. Uh oh - that girl is me. Now I see they're sexually manipulating me and no doubt having a good time. Ugh those rascals! just wait till I get back. I am kind of embarrassed with some of my actions but my friend does not judge me, instead he is telling me about an intricate plan - it is something that hasn't ever been performed by him. I'm listening, we went somewhere deeper - I think he's taking me somewhere but I can't go beyond the threshold. There's physical noise sucking me back to Earth environment.
Slowly I am back in physical and feel energy column near spine and other sensations, these sensations are not sexually stimulating me. I know it is my friend, performing that change we agreed on.
Monday, 14 February 2011
The Many Salvia Induced Experiences
From Sunday night I have had many experiences with Salvia and have gone far beyond anything I could have ever imagined or dreamed of.
These are going to be some really long posts so I'm seperating them but each is entertwined and leads to the next experience.
These are going to be some really long posts so I'm seperating them but each is entertwined and leads to the next experience.
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