From two days ago I have had the urge to listen to the Hemi Sync Gateway Experience. Yesterday listened to focus 10 track, interestingly despite not relaxing deeply and doing the resonant tuning exercise vocally there were instant energy wave sensations, lower abdomen digestive system was definitely doing something. Legs arms tingled, major goosebumps present. There were sudden jolts, its like the audio signals are more effective than before or I am simply more tuned into the waves of energy. Perhaps over time I have become 'sensitive'. As a result I woke up at 4am, has happened many times with hemi sync. When I woke up there was major fluttering around peripheral vision which was something that became permanent from Salvia use and for a while it was mild until this morning. This morning I felt I could go into a Salvia trip without using the herb and I am not looking forward to that happening randomly feeling that that is what is in store for me, I could only imagine myself ending up in an institution.
Will continue with the program.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Some New Years Eve Rambling
Only a few hours left till 2013 and here I am with a new blog post. Times have changed and with that so has my personality. I don't really want to write about the changes but I think I'm either going on some ego trip or something, but I don't judge it and allow those parts to just come out. On some rare occasions I would actually notice how drastically I have changed. Not all changes are bad - I definitely feel more confident in general - I can take on whatever is thrown at me.
I've already mapped out the next two years of my life which as always is subject to change. I have placed myself on a path which helps me to realize a very important goal - the goal is really a vision, a dream and it is something similar to what can be found in the Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre. In a nut shell I am trying to set up an eco village but that label is so small to how big and expansive the vision really is. Right now I am on funding and planning mode. I think this has to be the most significant change taking place within - previously I was drawn to mystical spiritual aspects, dabbling in astral projections and meditation and all that - now I am more earth oriented. The spiritual aspect is always there but mixed with a dab of earthliness.
This blog will continue to be mostly focused on metaphysical spiritual elements but from time to time I may update progress of my dream of an eco village.
I feel that the society you and I live in is deeply flawed but there are people who all over the world see this and are making real lasting changes which benefit mankind and the planet. Initially my plan was to completely remove myself from the 'system' and withdraw into the nature that already existed, but clearly it's not enough and once again not only must I remain but I have to become a part of that system. I seem to be called to something much bigger. I hope that in 2013 everyone moves closer to their true calling.
I wish everyone, every little bug, every animal, creatures of all kinds, entities, spirits, ghosts, aliens, star people, indigos, faeries, pleiadians, nature, every atom down to the minutest cell and all of the Universe a very very very Happy New Year!
I've already mapped out the next two years of my life which as always is subject to change. I have placed myself on a path which helps me to realize a very important goal - the goal is really a vision, a dream and it is something similar to what can be found in the Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre. In a nut shell I am trying to set up an eco village but that label is so small to how big and expansive the vision really is. Right now I am on funding and planning mode. I think this has to be the most significant change taking place within - previously I was drawn to mystical spiritual aspects, dabbling in astral projections and meditation and all that - now I am more earth oriented. The spiritual aspect is always there but mixed with a dab of earthliness.
This blog will continue to be mostly focused on metaphysical spiritual elements but from time to time I may update progress of my dream of an eco village.
I feel that the society you and I live in is deeply flawed but there are people who all over the world see this and are making real lasting changes which benefit mankind and the planet. Initially my plan was to completely remove myself from the 'system' and withdraw into the nature that already existed, but clearly it's not enough and once again not only must I remain but I have to become a part of that system. I seem to be called to something much bigger. I hope that in 2013 everyone moves closer to their true calling.
I wish everyone, every little bug, every animal, creatures of all kinds, entities, spirits, ghosts, aliens, star people, indigos, faeries, pleiadians, nature, every atom down to the minutest cell and all of the Universe a very very very Happy New Year!
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Sexual Predator
Since recent salvia session, experiences of a sexual nature are increasing. This morning was disturbing and I won't go into too much detail as it is far too personal. I woke up early about 4 or 5 am and could not sleep until much later slowly relaxed. Initially it started off with me becoming aware of a change in scenery. I was in a room but not my bedroom, a dark living room maybe. A man appears and I seem to know him - he tells me agitatedly why I made him speak English, why I have given him language - odd...
I was irritated by his presence and got a very sexual predatory vibe from. Told him to go away that he is not wanted here. Just when I think he's left he has actually gotten closer and from there everything else was sexual. It felt way too real, when I opened eyes I breathed a sigh of relief.
I was irritated by his presence and got a very sexual predatory vibe from. Told him to go away that he is not wanted here. Just when I think he's left he has actually gotten closer and from there everything else was sexual. It felt way too real, when I opened eyes I breathed a sigh of relief.
Friday, 21 December 2012
Sleepless Night and a Sexual Awakening
Could not sleep at all last night - I think it was from 4am - still pitch black outside. There was a glimmering star and for a while I stared at it. Eventually by 6am tried to relax and slowly dozed off only to be alerted to a change in my room - a kind of false awakening. Then I lifted up what seemed to be made up legs. They were made up because they were not solid but almost cartoonish and when I imagined them to be lifted up they'd raise up. Same with the arms. Then I felt a presence, it seemed to be hugging me, wrapping itself around me and all of a sudden there was sexual intercourse and I thought perhaps it's an incubus but beyond that I was too aroused. I recall making sounds and saying something then worrying if anyone can hear me.
This has happened before and I do wonder what this other presence is. A creation of the mind? Some say there's a Beloved - and I still question all of that despite having felt it. My mood has been very bad lately and I wonder if that has anything to do with it plus I used Salvia other day perhaps I opened a kind of portal that allowed this energy to be present. There is another thing that occurred from yesterday, if I am quiet and relaxed enough faces form within closed eyes but they are not images in the mind think of it as faces carved within the actual flesh of the eyes - they are a part of what I perceive as the flesh of my body.
This has happened before and I do wonder what this other presence is. A creation of the mind? Some say there's a Beloved - and I still question all of that despite having felt it. My mood has been very bad lately and I wonder if that has anything to do with it plus I used Salvia other day perhaps I opened a kind of portal that allowed this energy to be present. There is another thing that occurred from yesterday, if I am quiet and relaxed enough faces form within closed eyes but they are not images in the mind think of it as faces carved within the actual flesh of the eyes - they are a part of what I perceive as the flesh of my body.
Salvia After Bad Mood
From Tuesday my mood has been very sour, complex emotions and just plain debilitating. The incident left me angry to grieving to I don't know what. It was just plain disturbing, losing sleep even felt quite dizzy and sick yesterday - stopped eating for 2 days.
The incident constantly escalating in my mind - it was almost enough to make me want to get away from this kind of life and the people I'm around.
I recall at some point with all the hurt feelings that the pain escalated to the presence, the warmth and radiation which I once felt from something that personifies a Father figure. I cried and realized that was the hidden pain in all my pains - I asked how it could refuse me and I remembered the other beings who supported that presence and made me return to the stage.
Angry at their rejection of me by Wednesday afternoon I really needed to seriously understand what was going on and decided it was time to get the Salvia out. By the time I drained the re-hydrated leaves it was such a small amount I didn't expect anything from it. As I was going through the effects of the plant the issues were running in my mind but I was still much calmer. The beings opened up in a different way I can't describe it. Awareness and perception were different, a presence was there but it was not like the other presence I have felt previously - something different about it. I had to be very careful with my anger which was brewing a storm.
Something major was occurring in the nostrils - almost like the breath of life was detaching from the body via the nose. It was an odd sensation and there was no breathing yet the body was still functioning on a different level.
There was an understanding regarding a particular section of one of the Upanishads - spoken of a specific person that if he should think or say your head to fall off it will. My anger was tamed, I wished no harm on the people who have hurt me. The energies of my family members were present. It was raining outside and via some perception I could observe the beings/ energies causing drip drop sounds - it was musical. Amazing, I saw them beating to it and listening very intently it was soothing. I knew I could put in a particular kind of melody and they would create it with the droplets its just about building a rapport with them. I can perceive their dancing, it was wonderful. Wow, something else I can reveal to others. I kept thinking how I will reveal it to others, and the music is not only in rain droplets - in the wind, the howling and thunders music is everywhere. One has to be really silent and open to hear it.
Right now leaving this life behind away from people I don't get along with anymore nor the social structure is an option - I can do it, nothing really stopping me and then a part of me wishes to remain and finish a particular study after which I get an easy job and can save enough to properly plan out a new community like a kins domain mentioned in Ringing Cedar Series. In deep with Salvia though it was revealed to me anything is possible, anything I wish or desire is done. I'm going to listen to natural music more often, especially when it rains sometimes just sit beside the window and listen to the storm.
The incident constantly escalating in my mind - it was almost enough to make me want to get away from this kind of life and the people I'm around.
I recall at some point with all the hurt feelings that the pain escalated to the presence, the warmth and radiation which I once felt from something that personifies a Father figure. I cried and realized that was the hidden pain in all my pains - I asked how it could refuse me and I remembered the other beings who supported that presence and made me return to the stage.
Angry at their rejection of me by Wednesday afternoon I really needed to seriously understand what was going on and decided it was time to get the Salvia out. By the time I drained the re-hydrated leaves it was such a small amount I didn't expect anything from it. As I was going through the effects of the plant the issues were running in my mind but I was still much calmer. The beings opened up in a different way I can't describe it. Awareness and perception were different, a presence was there but it was not like the other presence I have felt previously - something different about it. I had to be very careful with my anger which was brewing a storm.
Something major was occurring in the nostrils - almost like the breath of life was detaching from the body via the nose. It was an odd sensation and there was no breathing yet the body was still functioning on a different level.
There was an understanding regarding a particular section of one of the Upanishads - spoken of a specific person that if he should think or say your head to fall off it will. My anger was tamed, I wished no harm on the people who have hurt me. The energies of my family members were present. It was raining outside and via some perception I could observe the beings/ energies causing drip drop sounds - it was musical. Amazing, I saw them beating to it and listening very intently it was soothing. I knew I could put in a particular kind of melody and they would create it with the droplets its just about building a rapport with them. I can perceive their dancing, it was wonderful. Wow, something else I can reveal to others. I kept thinking how I will reveal it to others, and the music is not only in rain droplets - in the wind, the howling and thunders music is everywhere. One has to be really silent and open to hear it.
Right now leaving this life behind away from people I don't get along with anymore nor the social structure is an option - I can do it, nothing really stopping me and then a part of me wishes to remain and finish a particular study after which I get an easy job and can save enough to properly plan out a new community like a kins domain mentioned in Ringing Cedar Series. In deep with Salvia though it was revealed to me anything is possible, anything I wish or desire is done. I'm going to listen to natural music more often, especially when it rains sometimes just sit beside the window and listen to the storm.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Die-Off Dreams
I am going through a major parasite die off period once again much like last year. With this experience I've come to understand dreams or should I say nightmares that are just plain whacky and I think are associated with body and mind healing.
As of recently dreams are first of all are being recalled since prior to this I feel there was nothing occurring during sleep time.
Anyways this morning I had an unpleasant dream, where my rage was uncontainable. Just at moment when I woke up my teeth was clenched hard but no pressure. I was concerned thinking I must've chipped my teeth real bad from all that pressure.
It also happens that last night there was a generation of parasites exiting and I think there's no need to share in which direction they left. I have also been super hungry lately constantly eating whatever I could shove in my mouth with great ease, in particular I crave lots of fat. Fortunately not fried fats but raw healthy fats, egg yolks, cheese, pistachios, coconut, ghee(usually this fat is a last resort if there's no other fat). It seems that suddenly overnight my appetite has gone bonkers. Another rather odd symptom is I just want to lay down all day long, being still doing nothing unless my appetite is calling me. All I want to do is not do anything, at least nothing physical. On some occasions I have felt like dancing but it's not how it used to be, can't describe it. Nothing to do with lack of energy, the energy is there it seems it wants to be reserved for something else.
Last night however I had a sudden what I would call 'sleeping spell'. I was falling asleep rather too quickly, head just nodding off. Not due to exhaustion as that would have come on gradually, this was sudden and taking effect instantly.
When I woke up from todays whacky dream, there was that fluttering all around me in the darkness and feeling aroused.
Haven't started the fasting phase just yet.
As of recently dreams are first of all are being recalled since prior to this I feel there was nothing occurring during sleep time.
Anyways this morning I had an unpleasant dream, where my rage was uncontainable. Just at moment when I woke up my teeth was clenched hard but no pressure. I was concerned thinking I must've chipped my teeth real bad from all that pressure.
It also happens that last night there was a generation of parasites exiting and I think there's no need to share in which direction they left. I have also been super hungry lately constantly eating whatever I could shove in my mouth with great ease, in particular I crave lots of fat. Fortunately not fried fats but raw healthy fats, egg yolks, cheese, pistachios, coconut, ghee(usually this fat is a last resort if there's no other fat). It seems that suddenly overnight my appetite has gone bonkers. Another rather odd symptom is I just want to lay down all day long, being still doing nothing unless my appetite is calling me. All I want to do is not do anything, at least nothing physical. On some occasions I have felt like dancing but it's not how it used to be, can't describe it. Nothing to do with lack of energy, the energy is there it seems it wants to be reserved for something else.
Last night however I had a sudden what I would call 'sleeping spell'. I was falling asleep rather too quickly, head just nodding off. Not due to exhaustion as that would have come on gradually, this was sudden and taking effect instantly.
When I woke up from todays whacky dream, there was that fluttering all around me in the darkness and feeling aroused.
Haven't started the fasting phase just yet.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Wolf-Bird
Dream starts off with me near garden door. Open door sense an animal nearby. See the most beautiful looking wolf staring back. Some fear mounts as I approach it but the wolf seems more afraid of me. I try to call it forward all the while scared, it slows down a little and approaches slowly carefully standing quietly. Face to face I see clearly now that the wolf is part bird with a peculiar beak – very sharp and dangerous looking. This creature, so beautiful yet scary at the same time. I stroke the beak with some bravery. It has formed some kind of attachment to me and this seems to bother me since I am still a little afraid. What in case it suddenly attacks me out of nowhere, animals have been known to suddenly go wild. It acts a lot more gentle and calm but I think perhaps I should just whack its beak – it will get scared and run off.
Dream sequence changes, I have a feather that belongs to the wolf-bird – orangish brown tints and fluffy unlike any feather. I show it to friends and tell them about the amazing magical creature I met in the garden.
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