Through the Looking-Glass 2

Last night before falling asleep thought about astral projection and putting forth intention to be awakened at around 4am.

Startled awake at 5:30am from a dream where a Doctor tries to gun me down.

At 7:30am close eyes and relax. Immediately I am able to see through my eye-lids, looking to the right side of my room in this visual my furniture are not present neither is the large mirror on the wall. Instead there is a face of a man using shadow and part light I guess.

Consciousness, spirit, or astral body rises - I don't know which one all I know is the 'I' definitely rises. Drawn to the face I move in that direction by gliding. Briefly consider perhaps that face is a mask and when I get there I will be that - instead I am beside it. From that angle the window is visible. I look out - the outside is so clear and vivid but looks different.

Start to sink all the while I am holding on to the clarity of sight. Sink down to downstairs room and travel outside through the window. As I am outside I feel I am looking through glass, like the world before me is contained in crystal clear glass and I am seeing it from the outside of it.

I glide through the town observing and doing nothing else in particular. I think after this I drift off to sleep. Wake up late to the pounding throb in my entire body.

Dr Mad

A doctor who has something dangerous in his office. Somehow sneak in and grab this something - take it to another room where there is a woman - we both examine it. A glass box - inside a red glowing light. I determine it's some kind of radiation. Impulsively I grab the phone, doctor on the other line as I smash the box making him hear the sound of his weapon destroyed. Start to load a gun so that Dr knows I have a weapon and can defend myself. Open door slightly to see Dr waiting near his door with his own gun. Tell the woman to take the gun and make a run for it and not to use it unless it's necessary.

Going against my advice she runs out all the while shooting at the ceiling. I start to panic and run out with the Dr chasing me certain that I'm going to die - crazy dream.

Recent Happenings

Lots of inner as well as outer experience with and without Salvia.

SALVIA
Salvia experiences similar to others but enhancing or expanding. The awareness of the small beings that combine in order to form physical has heightened significantly. Sometimes its a stampede inside when all at once they rush in.

Interestingly their movements happen without my control until I start controlling them at which point I get realization that I thought them into being and all the movement is a projection from me. In my last experience which was last night I realized that these 'others' had complete knowledge about my every move and intention - they seem to know what I've been up to every little detail and this is simply because they live internally as well as in the external setting. I was upset not because of them or anything they had done but over my own actions over the span of the Salvia exploration and desperately needed a new lease to correct my errors.

There were incidents of body parts (beings) detaching and some feeling of major pain - when this occurs I am forced to open eyes and reveal to them pain area so that they can stop. Great changes going on within body - a new energy group present, they seem to have been observing lately.

It's all rather confusing and right now I'm not going into any more details.

Early morning root lock sensation, thumping sexually without being consumed by urges.

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NON SALVIA

A few days ago early morning in a paralysed state the chair in my room which had a dress was moving and physical room was either being put back together and I simply got to catch a glimpse of the process.

On another day, aware in that other state I started to project - legs going up and then slowly spinning round and outdoors exploring. A few times I ended up back to the bed with legs rising. One time legs went all the way over - which was near to scary as it seemed bones would crack and I sensed another there controlling the body. Then legs were invisible yet I was able to sense the movement as well as controlling it.

In another experience early morning, opened eyes still dark out yet I can see clearly a womans face as though she were sitting on me. She appeared so suddenly and looked way too familiar yet it took some time to realize that it was my own face, at least the face I occupy in physical reality. She or should I say 'I' was smiling and looking at myself which creeped me out. Quickly opened or maybe closed eyes. After this had an unrecallable projection.

Forgetfulness

Chew Salvia late in evening - I wonder as I enter that knowing state and almost completely seated in what I really am why am I so forgetful? What is the veil that obstructs my view from one state to another? The veil being the many labels of the physical world.

It seems Salvia only temoporarily removes the veil but only partially and I feel it could be this that flings me into a state of depression and at times anger.

Being in that state changes the body, perhaps accelerating Kundalini activity.

Occupied

Early morning in the midst of sleep alerted to physical body because arms were moving of their own accord. Each time it occured I became strongly aware of a presence - a being which has occupied what I consider to be my physical body. It was thinking specific thoughts and like a child playing with what looked like my arms, raising them up and swirling about. I can't recall the thoughts but it was playful and even cheerful.

Head did some kind of crazy somersaults.

Deathless Death

Used Salvia twice today - early in morning it was mostly about the worlds and the entities that compose body parts. Again some uncontrollable sexual intensity.

Second time using Salvia in afternoon I relaxed deeper tried to calm mind. Still and somewhat silent the other world inside exposed. I become aware of all the moving parts, so many. Some in groups each having formed some part in the body called organs and everything else.

Going deeper I see all the beings clearly inside, I see the energy pattern of the physical body breathing. This pattern is a group made of beings and they are coming apart meaning no longer playing the role of breath within the physical body. Everything has come apart. In the midst of this I suddenly realize the body has stopped breathing and it dawns on me that this is the process of death - at least the death of the body. The body is dead now but yet I am still present. The death of the physical body is equivalent to shutting down computer. I'm not afraid but out of habit I reassume breathing gasping for some life giving oxygen. Breathing pattern very slowly reintegrating. Open eyes then close.

As the beings all gather at that special meeting point realization unravels slowly. They are there gathering together I know waiting for me to trigger physical orgasm. For a short while I wonder why and instantly it hits me - that feeling of orgasm is only a spark of bliss and the Bliss is what I truly am. Things get deeper, I know there is some beyond. Something is about to get revealed, maybe that beyond? Open eyes and slowly distracted from this realization when I look above the Giant beings present at the left side ceiling. I both sense and see that they are speaking to some illusive higher power about my condition. The higher power seems to be coming down from the concentrated energy in the passing physical aeroplane.

It seems they are trying to put in a good word in for me insisting that something be done - it explains the energetic wave sensations around physical body, a feeling of urgency.

They word 'who am I' which is interesting because just before this session started I looked in mirror and asked 'who am I?'

Close eyes and see them more clearly, to support their claim I start thinking 'who am i' in my mind almost slyly so that at least they can see how hard I'm trying to figure out this mystery. It does not work, it seems to get there this affair of knowing who I am is the only way. It's the key to open that door to the beyond.

I know this whole thing about self knowledge actually has nothing to do about going to some place but has to do with a state of beingness. It's getting a little clearer to me and now I understand that 'their' intention is for me to remain in that state.

I recall at some point during fragile leg pain (beings moving) where I kept the feeling on the gap between pain and was impressed each time there was a relief from pain.

As I open my eyes and rest for a little bit looking outside the window the sky beings are clearer than ever before, illuminated by the sun's ray. Their movements are crystal clear, some appear to be holding something and some grabbing something in the sky.

I am not the Body

Chewed Salvia, with no particular intentions in mind but I knew the others as usual will be present.

The physical body breaks down, internally I'm seeing each part as beings. The components of the body detached and had a rather choppy unusual movement. As they break down a team of men enter the scene. They are signalling a command for a sexual movement. I ignore and observe everyone. As the body is taken apart I wonder if I am not the body then who am I? and try to hold on to that.

There is a female being present, I can see her clearly but more than that I feel her movement is also inside the physical body exactly where the wound is located.

I get up to see what is going on in the physical. My body is shaking vigorously - grab the small mirror and open dressing. The open wound is composed of two female faces - before actually taking salvia I had replaced the dressing since it was stuck on the wound which had bled from the traumatic pull.

I look at them smiling, almost wanting to laugh at myself - how ridiculous I was to hate having this wound. Dressing back in place I lie down. The visuals are fading though tactile sensations still strong. A few times I feel something brushing against the neck near wound, an eery feeling that they're trying to take off the dressing. Keep grabbing mirror to look. Finally relax. Still sense the sexed up male entities. I give in to their sexual advances more to experiment than to play. As I get ready they all huddle inside in the inner awareness at some meeting point. A huge amount of effort is required and with this effort there is a massive explosive orgasm that reaches the head region.

Soon enough I get some sleep - wake around 4am and back to sleep by 6am. During this phase of sleep I am aware of being awake in the sleeping body. Awareness zooms to microscopic proportion whilst the external appears to grow larger. I feel that I am sinking within the body or through it.