06/02/2013 -
So far this week have not had any sessions, perhaps tonight. After a few more sessions I might try the Salvia, it crossed my mind today but the setting is not right at this time, need to let certain stuff cool off. Need to let go of certain negative situations, people etc. Right now my focus is on my studies but I need to observe some of the situations I get meddled in, they are private and mostly family related. Since December when I started my studies it helped me to focus for a while away from all the crap but now feeling like having ignored all that the issues have arisen with greater force. I see now though with clarity that it is not so much the negative people and issues around me but my own focus on them - by focusing on these issues I contribute to it in some way. This obviously doesn't mean that I should simply ignore the issues and it will go away but rather try to understand it and be done with it for good, as the issues are not external but more from within deeper underlying issues. I do wonder if I can observe it the way Krishnamurti would suggest - 'Look, observe without words, or naming, without a goal without any hope for anything whatsover, silently watching'.
- Advanced Focus 10
Started session around 10pm. Relaxed throughout fortunately not thinking too much. Somewhere after REBAL felt the outer layer of this as a magnetic force. Then involuntary movement of the head shifting left and right which occurred 3 times, each time suddenly and with more force than usual in between these moves there were sudden jolts where the body felt to be closing in - the feeling was much like how perhaps a flower would close or fold in its petals. Beyond all this there is no recall, just slept through.
09/02/2013 - Advanced F10
Sometime in the evening. There were bodily sensations tingles and the goosebumps in particular were stronger than usual. Then going deeper yet physical body not still in the sleep mode there was an image of a mans face and then a white light flashed with a faint image of a light bulb. Then a red light flashed but it wasn't sudden instead there was a smooth building up of the intensity and brightness. I opened eyes just to see if there was any external source. The lights reminded of my bike since I recently got a white and red light for it. Carried on with the audio but fell asleep. I intend to start practicing without audio.
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