Woke at 5:30am - surprisingly slept well despite drinking coffee last night, I think I haven't drank coffee in over a year.
Dozing off after 6am entered several vivid dream states - the last one being incredibly lucid and each dream related to health.
1. Cat's medicine
There's a box of medicine (antibiotics) - I know it's prescribed for my brothers cat. I took one and then read on box 'Lethal to humans'. Panicked a little. In reality my brothers cat was prescribed with antibiotics - it had the same ingredient as my antibiotics, I took it one day and was not feeling great on it so I stopped - no more antibiotics.
2. Kidney failure
I was being explained about the process of kidney failure which I cannot recall in great detail.
3. Health Check
Getting a check up from the doctor but it seems related to my mental health - he checks and tells me that I suffer from a distraction disorder. Yet deep down I seem to know what is going on just wanted a second opinion.
4. The Sky Man
In a hospital clinic - doctors checking me. Looking out at the sky - there is a giant man formed by sky, he is old but strong looking. He is running around the entire global shape of the earth making the Earth spin. I know I'm about to switch, I am going to breakdown and the doctors are probably going to admit me to a psychiatric hospital. I am about to point out the window and consider shouting out 'Father'. Then I thought the doctors would probably think I'm calling my dad from physical reality. I start reaching out to the window, to the man spinning the Earth.
5. Skull Crack
I go to see the two doctors I met recently regarding cyst near neck. Sit down on chair - one doctor to my left preparing the left side of my temple area and the other doctor preparing the crown of my head by parting my hair and rubbing the area he is about to crack open. I relax knowing what is about to happen. I think there was something in my hands keeping me occupied. Suddenly feel the impact on skull - no drill like sounds that I'm familiar with. This was quiet. The tool is squeeging through and I start to feel a pumping pressure entering the brain, intense cranial movement yet there is absolutely no pain. The energy is too much - I don't know if I can stay still. I shift head a little and then physically open eyes to my bedroom - the operation is still going on, sensations amplifying in waking consciousness. I know it is paramount that I stay still and that though this surgery is in the head it is my spine that is at risk, sensations stop a little but my head is spontaneously swaying left and right a part of the process I assume.
I signal a timeout hand gesture - I think by now they understand what this means as I've used it many times under Salvia effects. I go toilet to empty bladder and returning to bed my head continues to sway. I think the ones involved in these 'psychic' surgeries are using physical reality data to make me feel comfortable.
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Friday, 15 July 2011
Uninterrupted Sleep and Health Crisis
Past two nights have not had the chance to AP at usual time since I haven't been waking up - I've been sleeping without any interruptions. Also observing the whole otherly presence and flutterings of visuals is calming down now. I should start setting forth intention to awake in middle of sleep before sleeping.
Once in a while I have been napping during day time and there have been some very harsh movements. During one incident as I relaxed aware of the entire sleep stage I felt the physical body growing heavy and then suddenly my left hand which I relaxed on the right side rib cage area grabbed tightly squeezing as though to crush bones. As soon as I jumped up it stopped.
Don't know if I mentioned this but in previous Salvia trips I recall a feeling that someone else had occupied this body - felt as though someone has joined me but observing for most part and has access to the control centre (brain). I feel that it waits until I'm mentally and physically relaxed or asleep.
I should also mention here that I am going through some kind of health crisis - although it is not much of a big deal and nothing life threatening. It has a lot to do with the cyst that has formed near collar bone. I am doing so many tests and so far everything fortunately is coming out negative. The last thing I wanted to mention to my doctor is that a salvia entity accidently caused it whilst we were journeying. Initially I hadn't intended to go see the doctor regarding this - thought I'd just let nature take its course and deal with it myself. Things got pretty bad and sore I had no choice. I did start to get a little curious and wanted to know what the doctors say it is but it seems they are at a loss - they can't decide that it is something benign and want to explore other possibilities despite the fact that I'm fit and healthy.
Another doctor had a look at it and as well meaning as he may be I feel he will never be satisfied until he finds a disease and so I felt pressured to do more tests - now waiting for more results plus there's a possibility of another surgery which is minor but very painful. I think Salvia is very detoxing, add oil pulling and urine therapy to that and there's a great chance of major cleansing. I have been adapting gradually to a healthier diet and I think this health crisis is a good thing - a sign that certain 'energy patterns' are being secreted - the body has it's own natural intelligent operation. It is amazing really how the body functions, how each organ is connected to other organs and provide intricate systematic support and I wonder if what Salvia revealed to me is indeed true - that the physical body is made up of other beings, so many different beings each creating a unit called organs according to a blueprint. Not only is the physical body created in this way but houses, ordinary object, animate or inanimate even the sky is just a camaflouge of these entities or beings.
Once in a while I have been napping during day time and there have been some very harsh movements. During one incident as I relaxed aware of the entire sleep stage I felt the physical body growing heavy and then suddenly my left hand which I relaxed on the right side rib cage area grabbed tightly squeezing as though to crush bones. As soon as I jumped up it stopped.
Don't know if I mentioned this but in previous Salvia trips I recall a feeling that someone else had occupied this body - felt as though someone has joined me but observing for most part and has access to the control centre (brain). I feel that it waits until I'm mentally and physically relaxed or asleep.
I should also mention here that I am going through some kind of health crisis - although it is not much of a big deal and nothing life threatening. It has a lot to do with the cyst that has formed near collar bone. I am doing so many tests and so far everything fortunately is coming out negative. The last thing I wanted to mention to my doctor is that a salvia entity accidently caused it whilst we were journeying. Initially I hadn't intended to go see the doctor regarding this - thought I'd just let nature take its course and deal with it myself. Things got pretty bad and sore I had no choice. I did start to get a little curious and wanted to know what the doctors say it is but it seems they are at a loss - they can't decide that it is something benign and want to explore other possibilities despite the fact that I'm fit and healthy.
Another doctor had a look at it and as well meaning as he may be I feel he will never be satisfied until he finds a disease and so I felt pressured to do more tests - now waiting for more results plus there's a possibility of another surgery which is minor but very painful. I think Salvia is very detoxing, add oil pulling and urine therapy to that and there's a great chance of major cleansing. I have been adapting gradually to a healthier diet and I think this health crisis is a good thing - a sign that certain 'energy patterns' are being secreted - the body has it's own natural intelligent operation. It is amazing really how the body functions, how each organ is connected to other organs and provide intricate systematic support and I wonder if what Salvia revealed to me is indeed true - that the physical body is made up of other beings, so many different beings each creating a unit called organs according to a blueprint. Not only is the physical body created in this way but houses, ordinary object, animate or inanimate even the sky is just a camaflouge of these entities or beings.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Shrunk Consciousness
Woke at 3:30am - by 5:30am it was so difficult to relax - my mind is so occupied during these times. As I drifted I felt that I would not AP and end up sleeping deeply in order to compensate for the past 2 hours of wakefulness.
Suddenly somewhere in the midst of drifting I hear a female voice saying 'I want to show you something' or 'There is something you have to see'. I wait for it. My consciousness begins to shrink and it appears as if the room is growing much larger - at the same time I feel to be moving backwards in the corner of the room. This occurs endlessly as though there is no such thing as the smallest, biggest or the farthest and I wonder So, where is it - this thing the woman was talking about.
I think this is just it - consciousness shrinking and room expanding at the same time and there's nothing more. Suddenly there is a magnetic sensation at the crown of my head - it is very strong pulling. Then I feel something move like a lid at the top of my head open - end of recall.
This isn't the first consciousness shrinking room expanding type of experience I've had.
I have this feeling something more had occurred but no recall. This is the third projection type event to take place this month and despite being brief I know if I kept my mind focused on this the frequency would eventually increase as well as duration. I think what might help next time is restful sleep but not so restful I can't relax. A free unoccupied mind and keeping the physical body healthy.
Suddenly somewhere in the midst of drifting I hear a female voice saying 'I want to show you something' or 'There is something you have to see'. I wait for it. My consciousness begins to shrink and it appears as if the room is growing much larger - at the same time I feel to be moving backwards in the corner of the room. This occurs endlessly as though there is no such thing as the smallest, biggest or the farthest and I wonder So, where is it - this thing the woman was talking about.
I think this is just it - consciousness shrinking and room expanding at the same time and there's nothing more. Suddenly there is a magnetic sensation at the crown of my head - it is very strong pulling. Then I feel something move like a lid at the top of my head open - end of recall.
This isn't the first consciousness shrinking room expanding type of experience I've had.
I have this feeling something more had occurred but no recall. This is the third projection type event to take place this month and despite being brief I know if I kept my mind focused on this the frequency would eventually increase as well as duration. I think what might help next time is restful sleep but not so restful I can't relax. A free unoccupied mind and keeping the physical body healthy.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
The Raincoat Killer
A lot on my mind at night time - would've slept straight through if it were not for external noisy distraction at 4:30am.
5:15am tried my utmost best to relax but the thought of 'black magic' was running through my mind - no, I'm not practicing - it has happened to someone I know and this was the same reason why I couldn't sleep until late.
Close eyes and drift. In a part, a massive green field - big sloped hills. I see someone approaching me - can't tell whether male or female, almost concealed in their raincoat. There is a thought in my mind about a raincoat killer on the loose in this very park even though at the same time I am aware that this is a projection and that I have a physical body sleeping in my room.
I start to walk and amazed at how normally and real life like I am walking. The raincoat killer walks past me and a second raincoat killer approaches only this time there is imminent danger and I focus on moving past the killer without having to cross paths. I look ahead in the distance where there are a group of people seem to be playing some kind of sport in a flash think that if I focus on that distance there is a possibility that I might teleport there. I focus but end up gliding forward but more towards the left in order to not go near raincoat killer. The speed I am moving at gives me a heart pounding rush as if I am really physically there.
5:15am tried my utmost best to relax but the thought of 'black magic' was running through my mind - no, I'm not practicing - it has happened to someone I know and this was the same reason why I couldn't sleep until late.
Close eyes and drift. In a part, a massive green field - big sloped hills. I see someone approaching me - can't tell whether male or female, almost concealed in their raincoat. There is a thought in my mind about a raincoat killer on the loose in this very park even though at the same time I am aware that this is a projection and that I have a physical body sleeping in my room.
I start to walk and amazed at how normally and real life like I am walking. The raincoat killer walks past me and a second raincoat killer approaches only this time there is imminent danger and I focus on moving past the killer without having to cross paths. I look ahead in the distance where there are a group of people seem to be playing some kind of sport in a flash think that if I focus on that distance there is a possibility that I might teleport there. I focus but end up gliding forward but more towards the left in order to not go near raincoat killer. The speed I am moving at gives me a heart pounding rush as if I am really physically there.
Friday, 8 July 2011
Projection Intentions
I have been waking up twice each night for several days now - the best time for me to AP. Unfortunately I can't seem to stay up long enough. Each time waking up I can feel something took place since the others presence tends to have a sort of shimmering effect - it is like a clear connection is trying to be established. The wave energy is amplifying and at times feels like a full body sexual experience. At the same time because of this APs have changed - in what ways I'm not sure but I feel it has made me more susceptible to something - good or bad I can't really say at this stage.
I have had difficulty to focus on APs due to certain issues I am having to deal with. I think this AP needs a great amount of focus meaning I need to keep thinking about it and at least put forth intention - need to empty mind so that the contents of whatever issues are present does not completely take over.
I feel there is still so much to learn through APing and perhaps more to discover. I don't plan to have any specific goals as usual just go where I'm naturally directed of course this could change at any time.
I have had difficulty to focus on APs due to certain issues I am having to deal with. I think this AP needs a great amount of focus meaning I need to keep thinking about it and at least put forth intention - need to empty mind so that the contents of whatever issues are present does not completely take over.
I feel there is still so much to learn through APing and perhaps more to discover. I don't plan to have any specific goals as usual just go where I'm naturally directed of course this could change at any time.
Monday, 4 July 2011
Crushing Chest
Wake at 2:30am and by 5ish am close eyes and drift away with the intention to AP.
I am aware of a presence near my legs crawling up to my chest - it feels so real and tangible but I am only able to see a slight impression of it - the feeling of it is very strong as though a real person was on top of me.
Suddenly this being increases its weight on my chest pushing down. It is painful I feel my chest is being crushed. I can't move or scream as the body is paralysed. I start to control my fingers somehow breaking the spell. The heaviness is gone but now I am struggling to get out of the paralysis. I realize I should've let go to this and not express any fear except I think it wasn't that I was afraid, the pain was just something that I did not have the endurance for.
I remember seeing two birds on my bed but can't recall when it occurred.
I go back, this time letting go to everything. Can't recall if I had an encounter with that heavy being but felt myself going in deeper. There was a crowd of evil laughter - several people, mixed gender. I knew they were trying to scare me but simply observed. Going deeper I am sucked in some internal part. Looking up there's a hole and I start to realize I'm inside my body and I think that hole is the inside part of the lump near right collar bone. There's someone else there and I get a feeling he drew me in.
I feel we are both going somewhere now and then more episodes of sleep paralysis fortunately without crushing chest. I slip into dreams of a very sexual nature. The main theme involved polygamous relationships, and one dream involved similar characters competing with each other regarding an object that appeared to be some kind of special chip or a book which they were trying to get to a publisher. Both manage to sabotage each others work.
During these episodes a lot of thoughts came to my mind illuminating certain fears - fear of body being possessed and going into a deep coma in that SP state.
I think these SPs, crushing sensations and other undesirable sensations may be due to one's mental state - before AP intention I was feeling a little depressed about random stuff. Maybe other factors are involved, need to record more of these incidents and mental state.
I am aware of a presence near my legs crawling up to my chest - it feels so real and tangible but I am only able to see a slight impression of it - the feeling of it is very strong as though a real person was on top of me.
Suddenly this being increases its weight on my chest pushing down. It is painful I feel my chest is being crushed. I can't move or scream as the body is paralysed. I start to control my fingers somehow breaking the spell. The heaviness is gone but now I am struggling to get out of the paralysis. I realize I should've let go to this and not express any fear except I think it wasn't that I was afraid, the pain was just something that I did not have the endurance for.
I remember seeing two birds on my bed but can't recall when it occurred.
I go back, this time letting go to everything. Can't recall if I had an encounter with that heavy being but felt myself going in deeper. There was a crowd of evil laughter - several people, mixed gender. I knew they were trying to scare me but simply observed. Going deeper I am sucked in some internal part. Looking up there's a hole and I start to realize I'm inside my body and I think that hole is the inside part of the lump near right collar bone. There's someone else there and I get a feeling he drew me in.
I feel we are both going somewhere now and then more episodes of sleep paralysis fortunately without crushing chest. I slip into dreams of a very sexual nature. The main theme involved polygamous relationships, and one dream involved similar characters competing with each other regarding an object that appeared to be some kind of special chip or a book which they were trying to get to a publisher. Both manage to sabotage each others work.
During these episodes a lot of thoughts came to my mind illuminating certain fears - fear of body being possessed and going into a deep coma in that SP state.
I think these SPs, crushing sensations and other undesirable sensations may be due to one's mental state - before AP intention I was feeling a little depressed about random stuff. Maybe other factors are involved, need to record more of these incidents and mental state.
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Dying Exit and Sleep Test
Dying Exit
At home have kids over so very noisy. Decided to finish remaining last bit of salvia left. Afternoon 6:20pm got chewing about half a mug of the leaves sitting on a chair facing window. Looking out in the process of chewing the other reality is visible - nothing like seeing different shapes - I am looking at the same thing only I see something different and this is always the case.
The tree has branches with leaves but what I see are rows of faces and I can feel communication, the wind was present but it was their motion and perhaps to us the wind is just the wind. Everything was living or there was life peering out of everything even inanimate objects. I get up, feel like entire house is moving and they're all present, still standing I could feel we are about to go somewhere but before we do I ask why they put that lump on my neck get an answer from one individual - it was an accident that last time just like now they were taking me somewhere but something went through and basically that thing just popped out. I think no more of the lump. As I go to relax on the bed to get ready to go to that other place all external sound diminishes - there's no longer external sound everyone is quiet or no longer exist in that space of mind. We're about to ride our way to some other place.
I feel the movements are way too strong this time. Eyes closed and I see them all with that other perception. We're going deeper. Again I feel to be a part of everything knowing and ready to leave this area of the mind. Deeper others are showing up I see what looks like my niece - her converting - she looks more mature here - I know this energy being has been playing her role in physical as my niece - or could it be an entity pretending to be her. I strongly feel that it was her energy pattern.
No noise outside but I hear other sounds, can't fully convey what that was like. The others are now peering through mindscape - noise returns, hear physical relatives indoors speaking. Interesting, it is like the world is a video reel and as I return things are fast forwarding I felt it fast forward a bit too much into the future but could not capture the incidents.
They're observing one of my brothers and planning something. As I start to recall that this person is my brother in the physical I remind them of this. I think they're not listening to me, a bit annoyed I open my eyes and the magic begins.
Open eyes they are the surrounding environment and I see my aura and their aura. I think about relatives - I want to tell them about this other part of reality. I grab a paper I don't want to shout out in case others in the house think I've lost it. Write down on the paper after much struggle 'How do I tell them?'. Then make them all see what I've written. I start to think maybe now is not the best time and want to add this but as I look down at the paper the letters are contracting and the paper has a life of its own moving in waves and I feel I have just received my answer - the point is to not tell them, they have to be able to see themselves.
I feel a presence right behind me blowing cool air on my back, felt it as a soft pleasant breeze. Schizophrenics hallucinate and yet others can't see what they see so how exactly would it work in a situation like this?
-----------------------------
Sleep Test
Later on in the evening at 11:20pm realized I had half a mug of salvia leaves - got chewing but really did not feel like doing it this time and chewed faster just to be done.
Lights off and their presence strong but not like before. I can feel that they're still doing something to the body.
I open eyes lamp on - they are in the surrounding walls - I recall something about this in the ringing cedars series books. I felt like singing to them. I know last time when I was frightened by a certain bully it was they who were humming to perhaps ease my discomfort.
Switched lamp off and stated that I'm going to sleep, closed eyes and I saw them gently moving away around the house I sense them following and observing others and I don't know whether I should be worried about this.
At home have kids over so very noisy. Decided to finish remaining last bit of salvia left. Afternoon 6:20pm got chewing about half a mug of the leaves sitting on a chair facing window. Looking out in the process of chewing the other reality is visible - nothing like seeing different shapes - I am looking at the same thing only I see something different and this is always the case.
The tree has branches with leaves but what I see are rows of faces and I can feel communication, the wind was present but it was their motion and perhaps to us the wind is just the wind. Everything was living or there was life peering out of everything even inanimate objects. I get up, feel like entire house is moving and they're all present, still standing I could feel we are about to go somewhere but before we do I ask why they put that lump on my neck get an answer from one individual - it was an accident that last time just like now they were taking me somewhere but something went through and basically that thing just popped out. I think no more of the lump. As I go to relax on the bed to get ready to go to that other place all external sound diminishes - there's no longer external sound everyone is quiet or no longer exist in that space of mind. We're about to ride our way to some other place.
I feel the movements are way too strong this time. Eyes closed and I see them all with that other perception. We're going deeper. Again I feel to be a part of everything knowing and ready to leave this area of the mind. Deeper others are showing up I see what looks like my niece - her converting - she looks more mature here - I know this energy being has been playing her role in physical as my niece - or could it be an entity pretending to be her. I strongly feel that it was her energy pattern.
No noise outside but I hear other sounds, can't fully convey what that was like. The others are now peering through mindscape - noise returns, hear physical relatives indoors speaking. Interesting, it is like the world is a video reel and as I return things are fast forwarding I felt it fast forward a bit too much into the future but could not capture the incidents.
They're observing one of my brothers and planning something. As I start to recall that this person is my brother in the physical I remind them of this. I think they're not listening to me, a bit annoyed I open my eyes and the magic begins.
Open eyes they are the surrounding environment and I see my aura and their aura. I think about relatives - I want to tell them about this other part of reality. I grab a paper I don't want to shout out in case others in the house think I've lost it. Write down on the paper after much struggle 'How do I tell them?'. Then make them all see what I've written. I start to think maybe now is not the best time and want to add this but as I look down at the paper the letters are contracting and the paper has a life of its own moving in waves and I feel I have just received my answer - the point is to not tell them, they have to be able to see themselves.
I feel a presence right behind me blowing cool air on my back, felt it as a soft pleasant breeze. Schizophrenics hallucinate and yet others can't see what they see so how exactly would it work in a situation like this?
-----------------------------
Sleep Test
Later on in the evening at 11:20pm realized I had half a mug of salvia leaves - got chewing but really did not feel like doing it this time and chewed faster just to be done.
Lights off and their presence strong but not like before. I can feel that they're still doing something to the body.
I open eyes lamp on - they are in the surrounding walls - I recall something about this in the ringing cedars series books. I felt like singing to them. I know last time when I was frightened by a certain bully it was they who were humming to perhaps ease my discomfort.
Switched lamp off and stated that I'm going to sleep, closed eyes and I saw them gently moving away around the house I sense them following and observing others and I don't know whether I should be worried about this.
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