I was about 20 years old at the time. Pitch blackness, eyelids closed. Suddenly I can see some light peering through but it was blurry although I could make out the figure of a person looking down at me. Then a woman saying my name and I think she asked if I could hear her, I started very lightly nodding my head.
It was only yesterday I began to think about this, thoughts came so randomly. One minute I'm enjoying a really tasty moin moin and the next these thoughts pop up out of nowhere.
I cannot recall anything except waking up at the hospital. Not much of an NDE in that sense except that I was either out of consciousness or clinically dead, something I never thought to enquire.
I wondered about this blankness, complete darkness and then coming back into consciousness. Did I have an NDE and my brain has completely blocked me from it? I started to think about every aspect of my life after this, realized the sudden dramatic changes that seemed to have occured in me. Things I've never thought about before.
I started gradually getting interested in the afterlife, ghosts, spirits, astral projection, out of body experiences, dreams and lucid dreams. Then I became keenly interested in law of attraction, focusing on self development. I really shapeshifted in a sense, no longer my former self. A self I couldn't recognise. It was after all the first 20 years of my life and I suppose that is when you start to build particular interests and move in a certain direction so at the time since the incident occured I didn't think much about it. In fact, at first I didn't think much at all. I was somewhat numb to thoughts and emotions.
Previous to this NDE I didn't think much about God, may have pondered a few times growing up but I didn't have faith like anyone following a religion. However after the incident I became drawn to the idea that God is wathching me and will guide me. I recall one day silently sitting down and automatically praying feeling a presence telling me that everything was going to be alright. I remember being in a car heading to one of my sisters house where I was staying for several months after the incident, looking out the window not a bird in sight and I said to God to send me a sign that he is with me, I asked him to send a bird in the sky. In that moment a flock of birds flew by, then more birds followed. This made me feel joyful and very much at peace.
I remember after getting deep into metaphysical topics I encountered the topic of walk-ins. As I read more into it I had a feeling it happened to me but soon went straight into denial and stopped looking into it altogether.
Yesterday when I thought about that incident and reviewing my past since that point it became so undeniably obvious to me that I ended up feeling all the pented up emotions . I did some major releasing. Letting it all out, some part of me was grieving. But what part and why? I've hid this from my own self for almost two decades now. It's amazing what the brain can block out. There was clearly something that held me back from accepting that the walk-in happened. What about the NDE if I did have one? Now I need to figure out if I had even died or simply lost consciousness. I don't know how long I was at the hospital, all sense of time had warped.
The knowing is very undeniable to me, when you know something you just know it. I have looked up some of the symtpoms of a walk-in and can relate to almost all of it except the negative aspects. I would say since that incident I have grown into a much stronger person which I know most would think happens with age. I have found it very easy to grasp spirituality and spiritual concepts, as it comes very naturally.
Also I don't think this body has had one walk-in, I think there have been a few others after this which may have occured during an excursion with salvia.
I'm going to do some time travelling soon, not in the sense you might think. I have to travel back into the time of the incident that led me to the ICU at the hospital. Retrieve the memory and gain some understanding from that point. I will be activating acetylcholine and GABA neurotransmitters for this purpose and be very clear with my intentions.
