Ceremonial Cacao

I have been consuming cacao regularly past several months, and I think my recent fatigue symptoms maybe a result of this newly formed addiction.

I also think it may have given me high amounts of energy which I have been releasing through dancing and lots of physical activity. I feel the addiction was formed from emotional problems rather than addictive substances. Most of the times when I'm reaching out for it - it has been triggered by some emotional response. Other times I am craving the taste and the euphoria such taste induces.

I am aware of raw cacao toxicity but have only consumed the roasted cacao powder until last week when I purchased the raw version. Interestingly the raw cacao does not give me that 'high' feeling which roasted gave instantly. However I was consuming it with fat (coconut oil) and sugar (dates, sometimes bananas), I have been eating in small quantities but I think the accumalation is having some effect on me right now. The main effect seems to be a fatigue that comes on suddenly but I'm not sure if this fatigue could be due to egg yolk liver flush since it started after this.

Today I was thinking about the cacao tree that produces the bean. Just like Salvia the Cacao tree has consciousness. I was consuming the powdered bean from the Cacao tree consciouness and everything that the bean had to offer was blending with my consciousness creating a fusion. Looked up cacao online today and came across an interesting blog discussing the spiritual uses of cacao: ceremonial cacao.

I realize I have been abusing cacao and so now currently will stay away from it for a while - until I once again feel the call for some cacao journeying. It has opened my eyes though - to the wide spectrum of thoughts and emotions that I'm harboring. Honestly though, most of the emotions I have been releasing have been great but that is only when I am by myself allowing the high energy thoughts flowing through and they have been just 'wow' - so maybe I have been running after these high thoughts rather than running away from the negative thoughts that seem mostly to be induced by negative circumstances in my life right now. I can't say for sure which one it is, could be both...