Today after a long time I did another search on land in UK and again frustrated about all the red tape and how land prices are hiking I looked at the alternative - spain is also quite expensive now and I would have to look into the legal side which so far is also complicated.
I just want a piece of land work on - so passionately that I'm learning every skill I may need to have when I'm there which includes growing and knowing my wild edibles. Somehow ended up on a site about living in Bulgaria - the main thing that caught my attention was the price. It's dirt cheap and also there's not so much red tape around building a home, the climate is perfect and I like the fact that it is not an overdeveloped country. I felt the idea just growing and started talking about it to my eldest sister - will need to research more. In my excitement the Salvia package arrived and I got started with the intention to keep the thought of moving to Bulgaria in my mind.
The others were there some I remember from before - recognized a group who were attached with me somehow and recalled how I was suppose to give them a tour of this physical life, they were my guests and I was supposed to entertain them - felt odd that I forgot this so easily.
Everything was living and my dream to move to Bulgaria did not matter, whether I was in Japan or Russia did not matter - I felt like I arrived at my destination - this was the reality behind the physical reality, the basis the foundation of existence and it was from this that the outside projection was visible, from this the 5 senses were born and everything else that we know within PR. This was a new sight - a new pair of eyes and I knew at that moment who I am. I felt so deeply that this was natural - looked at my hand and I knew what had happened and how it can happen again without use of Salvia- Salvia was temporarily streaming in the blood of this body, waking up every little being within. I understood why I have been so obsessed with physical health - if we can heal the physical body completely cleansing it of suffering/pollutants and mentally completely cleanse it of emotional baggage the body becomes the perfect vehicle for that consciousness.
I knew that it wasn't the land that was so important, I don't need the land I just felt deeply that having and working a piece of land would be helpful to the process - deep down I know it is the physical body but for me now the physical body is synonymous to the Earth - they are literally identical and now living in the city feels like I'm living with cancer. But when I'm there - even in the presence of those others who are not always nice to me I feel at one with everything - no need to go anywhere or do anything. But then I come back, and what this reality really is is hiding again, or maybe I just lose my sight, the true sight. Again there was that knowing of the world inside the physical apparatus and I could feel structure of lower spine area moving and stretching - something going on in intestines.
If indeed the world isn't real then why do we suffer so, why do we face so many problems? Why is there pain? Why does this world appear to be so real? Is it really that we live in ignorance? We have lost sight of what is real so much that the pain and suffering that everyone lives with at least at some point in their lives is a device in order to lead us to the Truth? I still ask these questions, still trying to figure it out just in case I am wrong almost as though no answer is satisfying.
But suppose that was it, that suffering was merely a device to lead us on the correct path how do we break the chains of ignorance and wake up from that? We simply stop doing the things that create the suffering and suffering has multiple causes in the physical but only one source.
How do I or anyone else after seeing what this reality really is live? What is the purpose of that persons life? Personally I feel that I am supposed to help others see what I've seen with Salvia and at the same time I have to be able to see without the assistance of Salvia and I know that there is a connection between physical well-being and having a constant opening. The state of the physical body is essential to this because it is vulnerable to that other energy and its function is dependent on how well it already operates. This is why the Kundalini energy first seeks to correct the physical apparatus - a lot of the K symptoms are associated with certain disorders that it seems people without K amplification are going through a slow procedure.
I've always felt that the K symptoms that I personally experienced had some importance and that there are ways that we can assist to help heal the body or at least to correct it.
I am also aware that all this work operates in time - and over there where time has no existence everything unfolds in a flash any disorder is corrected instantly so much that you see what pain is. Just recently I bit left part of cheek - infact there is some other stuff going on specifically in left part of body. The bite formed an ulcer - under Salvia the pain from the ulcer diminished - detached as if deliberately held there by the others to give me the feeling of pain. We're playing pretend, this is a play and I don't know who is directing it.
Still someone in the middle of my forehead moving some other part like another body encapsulating this physical shell. The heart was beating to a different rhythm, rapid and yet in slow motion.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Spinal Surgery
Drank an infusion of mugwort last night - forgot to chop up leaves - this time used less water, leaves and flower heads. Color was pale and flavour mild compared to previous night.
Went to bed late after midnight and fell asleep immediately. Had a lot of very vivid dreams but recall is not so great except for the last dream I had which blended into physical reality.
In this dream I am sitting on a chair with my back exposed. There are rows of other people sitting on chairs with their back exposed. The female doctor I met recently in PR is in front of me. There's a nurse behind me rubbing something on back of neck - getting prepped for surgery - something to do with the spine.
Suddenly a large bug that has the appearance of a bee but with big glowing red bulby eyes flies around and lands on table that is very near to my face. Nurse has probably been frightened away. The doctor flinches and gives me the impression that she is thinking that someone is spying on her. I remain calm and still.
Suddenly there is a pulsing at the base of the spine and that familiar feeling of pumping up the rectum. I tell the doctor that something is happening down there but she seems confused. The sensation is too strong, so strong I wake up still feeling the sensation. Turning over it calms down. Went back to sleep and woke up at 8am - usually I'm up before this time. So sleepy in the morning - not sure if it is the mugwort or the weather.
Went to bed late after midnight and fell asleep immediately. Had a lot of very vivid dreams but recall is not so great except for the last dream I had which blended into physical reality.
In this dream I am sitting on a chair with my back exposed. There are rows of other people sitting on chairs with their back exposed. The female doctor I met recently in PR is in front of me. There's a nurse behind me rubbing something on back of neck - getting prepped for surgery - something to do with the spine.
Suddenly a large bug that has the appearance of a bee but with big glowing red bulby eyes flies around and lands on table that is very near to my face. Nurse has probably been frightened away. The doctor flinches and gives me the impression that she is thinking that someone is spying on her. I remain calm and still.
Suddenly there is a pulsing at the base of the spine and that familiar feeling of pumping up the rectum. I tell the doctor that something is happening down there but she seems confused. The sensation is too strong, so strong I wake up still feeling the sensation. Turning over it calms down. Went back to sleep and woke up at 8am - usually I'm up before this time. So sleepy in the morning - not sure if it is the mugwort or the weather.
Monday, 1 August 2011
Mugwort Dream Recall
Had a cup of mugwort tea last night before bed. Dreams were vivid but no lucidity. Violent dream where a relative was trying to attack me and in self defense I'm slashing about going a bit wild.
In another vivid dream I'm at the bus stop. I get on a bus, use card but does not work but driver lets me through. Seated I can feel eyes on me so I turn around look at the other passengers, all silent. They look like foreigners and I'm starting to wonder if I accidently got on a tourist bus. Strangely it is dark inside and there are lights on - all the windows are sealed with metal sheets blocking external view. I get a little confused but no lucidity. There were more dreams but recall hazy or maybe too much dreaming.
I think I need to brew the tea by chopping leaves to help with infusion but despite soaking leaves and flower heads whole the tea is a vibrant green. The taste is incredibly soothing and pleasant. Physically I have been feeling a little groggy just feel like sleeping on the spot - I don't know if this is the tea or other factors. There have also been some muscle aches and this morning a pressure pain in left jaw.
I have enough mugwort for 5 days so will be drinking this next 5 days and then I plan to change tea over to nettles another highly nutritious tea from a plant that grows in the wild.
In another vivid dream I'm at the bus stop. I get on a bus, use card but does not work but driver lets me through. Seated I can feel eyes on me so I turn around look at the other passengers, all silent. They look like foreigners and I'm starting to wonder if I accidently got on a tourist bus. Strangely it is dark inside and there are lights on - all the windows are sealed with metal sheets blocking external view. I get a little confused but no lucidity. There were more dreams but recall hazy or maybe too much dreaming.
I think I need to brew the tea by chopping leaves to help with infusion but despite soaking leaves and flower heads whole the tea is a vibrant green. The taste is incredibly soothing and pleasant. Physically I have been feeling a little groggy just feel like sleeping on the spot - I don't know if this is the tea or other factors. There have also been some muscle aches and this morning a pressure pain in left jaw.
I have enough mugwort for 5 days so will be drinking this next 5 days and then I plan to change tea over to nettles another highly nutritious tea from a plant that grows in the wild.
Friday, 29 July 2011
Mugwort Tea Dreaming
Yesterday evening about an hour or so before bed I drank some mugwort tea - used the entire bunch I picked two days ago. I was surprised by the taste of the tea was expecting something bitter but instead had a nice fresh tolerable leafy taste.
At the time of drinking I was tired wanting to retire to bed - it was quite hot thought it might be difficult to sleep. An hour after tea I went to bed started to doze off 11pm- felt very sedated but I am not sure the tea caused this since I was already tired. However a lot of images emerged - auto visuals, very vivid I even found that I could reconstruct the visuals. Relaxed some more, felt myself smoothly transitioning to sleep state. Suddenly someone just ran directly near my face which made me jump. Fell asleep and I woke up around 12:33am recalling vivid dreams of harvesting plants - I think there were some mugwort as well. Waking up at this time I thought it might be about 4am - I felt like I slept for long but having slept for just over an hour all the days exhaustion was gone as if renewed with energy.
Went back to bed and transitioned to sleep immediately and all I recall is flashes of blue. I can recall snippets of more dreams but nothing vivid or lucid.
Healthwise the tea has helped me to sleep smoothly, refreshed me with renewed energy in just one hour. Dreamwise it has given initial highly vivid visuals whilst drifting off to sleep and helped with some recall which might get stronger over time. Of course I don't want to over use it nor would I recommend it to be taken regularly. A lot has been written about its medicinal use and like all medicines you do not want to over use this - right now I don't know much about the toxicity of this herb so will use with caution. Saying that, I am aware that I may have over used Salvia and need to minimize any future use - maybe sticking with once a week and lower dosage.
At the time of drinking I was tired wanting to retire to bed - it was quite hot thought it might be difficult to sleep. An hour after tea I went to bed started to doze off 11pm- felt very sedated but I am not sure the tea caused this since I was already tired. However a lot of images emerged - auto visuals, very vivid I even found that I could reconstruct the visuals. Relaxed some more, felt myself smoothly transitioning to sleep state. Suddenly someone just ran directly near my face which made me jump. Fell asleep and I woke up around 12:33am recalling vivid dreams of harvesting plants - I think there were some mugwort as well. Waking up at this time I thought it might be about 4am - I felt like I slept for long but having slept for just over an hour all the days exhaustion was gone as if renewed with energy.
Went back to bed and transitioned to sleep immediately and all I recall is flashes of blue. I can recall snippets of more dreams but nothing vivid or lucid.
Healthwise the tea has helped me to sleep smoothly, refreshed me with renewed energy in just one hour. Dreamwise it has given initial highly vivid visuals whilst drifting off to sleep and helped with some recall which might get stronger over time. Of course I don't want to over use it nor would I recommend it to be taken regularly. A lot has been written about its medicinal use and like all medicines you do not want to over use this - right now I don't know much about the toxicity of this herb so will use with caution. Saying that, I am aware that I may have over used Salvia and need to minimize any future use - maybe sticking with once a week and lower dosage.
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Death Dream
At 4ish am woke up from a dream where I get this really bad feeling just before I receive a text message that my dad has passed away. I am in shock and tell family members. I feel some sadness but more than that I am bemused by the incident. I open eyes physically awake yet carrying those same feelings - relieved that it was just a dream.
The others were present - hazily fluttering in the surroundings almost as if to get my attention. I briefly felt that they created this dream to wake me up here in the physical and yet at the same there is this undeniable feeling of an impending loss. It doesn't help that there is some connection between the dream and reality as I have found out only today that my dad has been feeling very sick - it's interesting that I had this dream this morning since my dad just arrived yesterday from his holiday. When I saw him I had a feeling that something was wrong but he was being quiet about it.
The others were present - hazily fluttering in the surroundings almost as if to get my attention. I briefly felt that they created this dream to wake me up here in the physical and yet at the same there is this undeniable feeling of an impending loss. It doesn't help that there is some connection between the dream and reality as I have found out only today that my dad has been feeling very sick - it's interesting that I had this dream this morning since my dad just arrived yesterday from his holiday. When I saw him I had a feeling that something was wrong but he was being quiet about it.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Mugwort - The Dream Herb
I have been doing some exploring in wild plants - for use as food and medicine. I have taken a great interest in this subject and exploring my local wild areas. Only just starting to harvest some amazing nutritious berries.
One plant that I have come across is mugwort, considered a herb dream - many have smoked or brewed into a tea and have had powerfully vivid dreams. It can also be left under the pillow or near the bed in order to enhance dreaming.
I will be harvesting some mugwort leaves and flowers soon, will dry and make tea. As well as having dream effects this herb provides many health benefits. Will report back any experiences.
One plant that I have come across is mugwort, considered a herb dream - many have smoked or brewed into a tea and have had powerfully vivid dreams. It can also be left under the pillow or near the bed in order to enhance dreaming.
I will be harvesting some mugwort leaves and flowers soon, will dry and make tea. As well as having dream effects this herb provides many health benefits. Will report back any experiences.
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Salvia Type Projection
Woke at 2:10am - walked a bit and by 3am tried to fall asleep. Depressed about the wound on my neck which isn't healing as fast as it is apparently supposed to - more tests to be done and I think I'm more sick of the hospital visits then I am of my condition.
Fidgeting a lot until by 6am gave in and closed eyes. No intention to AP, just hoping to make up for lost sleep. I can see immediately with closed eyes the impression of the others, only it is dark - with Salvia it is like the lights come on and I can see again . I can feel their movement more than I'm able to see them.
I can see different contrasts of black a neck starting to form. I open eyes just to see that I am still physically awake and then close again. Now it feels like someone is stuck to my face and that's is why I can't see - this entity seems to be blocking my view. Again the neck forms and this time I relax and go with the flow. Soon I see a young man, formed by the colour black and splits of light - his face has cracks and the light appears to be glowing through these cracks. He is looking directly at me. A fuzzy snowy patch suddenly appears, forming into checkered shapes glistening in flashy lights. The patch forms into the face of an old man who looks familiar from other experiences. Others start to storm through and this experience starts to feel very similar to Salvia sessions. It's interesting how this is occuring without the Salvia.
The young man is doing something to third eye - I can feel the pressure - intense and energetic. I relax and suddenly I am moving in a projection. At some point open eyes because I'm still aware of physical environment and body. Awareness fully on body - it feels heavy. Close eyes and I'm still travelling.
Near towards some sea area - I know this place, wanted to come here - I'm so happy they heeded to my request. I am trying to remember when I was last at this location. It is strange that I know this place yet cannot recall when I was last here - I don't even know the name of the palce but the feeling of knowing this place is undeniable. I even had this flashing memory - an inner feeling of having spoken to someone about this place in the physical and how I wished I could go there but still no actual recall of this taking place.
Streaming along now near a row of buildings - movement fast and vision is a little dark and hazy but able to percieve in other ways.
Passing by a street and I think I see houses similar to the one I live in moving across many people I am in very close contact with a man who is carrying a briefcase. Moving on I start to have these burning questions. Who am I? Who are we and those others? What is this Earth and why are we here? I keep repeating these like mantras. Start to sink within the layers of the Earth and at the same time I am curiously aware of my physical body - it feels like my physical arms are being moved and with some trepidation I open my eyes. Head is moving left and right but not swaying.
My impression after this is that the two men I saw initially are experimenting, mostly working on 3rd eye and head region. I am getting a stronger feeling that there is information stored in each human being - perhaps in the brain or dna or in every particles - information and instructions that we have access to - much like a super computer - I just don't know how to use the information simply because I don't even know how to access it.
I think in the Earth Documentary experience this part was being accessed. The huge amount of energy that literally charged the brain with electricity was barely enough to get a clear processing of information - managed to only get bitesize, snippets of information about the Earth. Eventually after this huge charge of energy I was physically drained with a severe headache.
In this mornings experience there was no energy going through crown of head which is probably why I haven't experienced major headaches. I have a feeling another incident like the one in Earth Documentary is approaching and will likely be more intense than anything I've experienced and will require a strong healthy body. This certainly explains why I've been so obsessed with getting incredibly healthy and trying out a great number of detox therapies since the beginning of this year almost as if 'they' have planned this out guiding me every step of the way.
Fidgeting a lot until by 6am gave in and closed eyes. No intention to AP, just hoping to make up for lost sleep. I can see immediately with closed eyes the impression of the others, only it is dark - with Salvia it is like the lights come on and I can see again . I can feel their movement more than I'm able to see them.
I can see different contrasts of black a neck starting to form. I open eyes just to see that I am still physically awake and then close again. Now it feels like someone is stuck to my face and that's is why I can't see - this entity seems to be blocking my view. Again the neck forms and this time I relax and go with the flow. Soon I see a young man, formed by the colour black and splits of light - his face has cracks and the light appears to be glowing through these cracks. He is looking directly at me. A fuzzy snowy patch suddenly appears, forming into checkered shapes glistening in flashy lights. The patch forms into the face of an old man who looks familiar from other experiences. Others start to storm through and this experience starts to feel very similar to Salvia sessions. It's interesting how this is occuring without the Salvia.
The young man is doing something to third eye - I can feel the pressure - intense and energetic. I relax and suddenly I am moving in a projection. At some point open eyes because I'm still aware of physical environment and body. Awareness fully on body - it feels heavy. Close eyes and I'm still travelling.
Near towards some sea area - I know this place, wanted to come here - I'm so happy they heeded to my request. I am trying to remember when I was last at this location. It is strange that I know this place yet cannot recall when I was last here - I don't even know the name of the palce but the feeling of knowing this place is undeniable. I even had this flashing memory - an inner feeling of having spoken to someone about this place in the physical and how I wished I could go there but still no actual recall of this taking place.
Streaming along now near a row of buildings - movement fast and vision is a little dark and hazy but able to percieve in other ways.
Passing by a street and I think I see houses similar to the one I live in moving across many people I am in very close contact with a man who is carrying a briefcase. Moving on I start to have these burning questions. Who am I? Who are we and those others? What is this Earth and why are we here? I keep repeating these like mantras. Start to sink within the layers of the Earth and at the same time I am curiously aware of my physical body - it feels like my physical arms are being moved and with some trepidation I open my eyes. Head is moving left and right but not swaying.
My impression after this is that the two men I saw initially are experimenting, mostly working on 3rd eye and head region. I am getting a stronger feeling that there is information stored in each human being - perhaps in the brain or dna or in every particles - information and instructions that we have access to - much like a super computer - I just don't know how to use the information simply because I don't even know how to access it.
I think in the Earth Documentary experience this part was being accessed. The huge amount of energy that literally charged the brain with electricity was barely enough to get a clear processing of information - managed to only get bitesize, snippets of information about the Earth. Eventually after this huge charge of energy I was physically drained with a severe headache.
In this mornings experience there was no energy going through crown of head which is probably why I haven't experienced major headaches. I have a feeling another incident like the one in Earth Documentary is approaching and will likely be more intense than anything I've experienced and will require a strong healthy body. This certainly explains why I've been so obsessed with getting incredibly healthy and trying out a great number of detox therapies since the beginning of this year almost as if 'they' have planned this out guiding me every step of the way.
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