Chi Energy

I have found interesting article which helped me understand my sudden inability to meditate.

Chi is life force it is what gives life to every living component.

The concept of "life force" is found in most of the ancient cultures of the world. In India it is known as prana, in China chi, in Japan ki, for Native Americans, the Great spirit.

Chi Gung is energy work - which has sparked my interest. I will also be looking into Robert Bruce's NEW Energy System.

Although I'm aware that this energy known by different names in different parts of the world, I was not sure that it could be the reason for my inability to meditate.

For some reason I felt like I needed to stay away from meditating - I guess I had a secret fear of something going awry if I made any further attempts. Now I'm certain it's this energy concentrating and continuous practice makes it more hard to sustain. Even without meditating the energy gets extreme. At times I could be simply relaxing or getting ready for sleep and suddenly I would jolt upright. Most of the times and randomly the energy is definitely working around chakra areas. Now I would very much like to learn how to control and use this energy.

Power Chakra Sensitivity

Today I became aware that my Power Chakra (solar plexus) is starting to react to things that have become quite the norm for me but perhaps time to move away from.

Lately there has been involuntary movement near stomach area - I can't really say which organ is actually pumping as it seems to have a ripple effect. When the pumping does occur I liken it to what El Collie mentioned about how it feels like you're being punched in the stomach. Though there isn't any pain sensation it definitely feels like being punched.

At first I thought might have gallstones' since recently my sis in law has opted for gallbladder removal due to gallstones.

I may try a system cleanse to assist in any removal of any toxins. Right now I have made significant changes in my diet - I won't say that I'm 100% there, but I've taken some rather big steps already.

Anyways back to the main point of this post. So, yesterday whilst cooking in the kitchen - someone was walking in the passageway. As the footsteps got closer to the kitchen my solar plexus did an internal jolting like tremor - being punched without the pain. At the same time I knew that the person about to enter the kitchen was one particular sister with whom I have a 'not so bad but not so good either' kind of relationship. Okay maybe it is a little bad. She is the kind of person who will demean you, make a joke at your expense, moody and easily irritable which is why I avoid her as much as possible.

The whole solar plexus jolting and punching sensation right at the centre of the solar plexus has been happening for over a week now but I don't recall in what circumstances they took place - didn't really think it was power chakra related. Today my dad had a panic attack over his finances - now the thing about my dad is he is always right and everyone else is always wrong so you could probably use your imagination to see what kind of relationship we have.

As he came to me with his problems to sort out my power chakra started being punched, perhaps an indication that I give away too much of my power or perhaps through vampiristic mechanism I have all this time unkowingly allowed others to suck on my life force.

I have already been told two weeks ago by someone that I take up too much responsitilies for others, that I am like a support centre. Also this guy (a psychologist, possibly a mind reader coz he read me like an open book) told me although it may seem that I am supporting others I am actually giving away so much to them which also means I am also taking away from them - that was an interesting discussion.

I have some serious Power Chakra issues. I think at this time I should start a gratitude journal, I've read that this practice nourishes the Power Chakra.

Imprint

I managed to recall most parts of two dreams today, both related to babies. As I woke up this morning, eyes just starting to open there was a hazy impression of someone by the side of my bed, bending down as if watching me. At first I was a little alarmed, then I thought how maybe it was something I was dreaming and as I woke up it may have been an afterimage or something.

Voice Recording Dreams

I'm starting to utilize my handy voice recorder. From now on all my dreams and any note taking will be voice recorded. Whatever seems significant I will write about here.

Since I'm here I'll write about the dream I had this morning, managed to recall only one.

Dupatta Dance
I am walking with two people but only fully aware of the man standing next to me. He is Amir Khan (bollywood actor). We're hiding or trying to get away from someone. Soon we are outside a massive building site, maybe it was a school or a mansion. Amir points at one of the large windows telling me that someone is moving in there. We know who it is, it's the person we're trying to hide from. This other person is Ajay Devgan (bollywood actor).

Amir gets inside a car while I'm standing next to it, I realize that Ajay will get an easy shot because we are exposed. I am concerned for Amir and then I think about how I'm outside more exposed, he will get me first. Then I remember how the fight is actually between 2 of the men and that somehow I am the object of the this feud. Suddenly Ajay and another older man who is also a bollywood actor is standing next to us. The other man seems to me to be Ajays father. He is speaking as if to all who is present. He says that if his son wins the fight I must wear the dupatta.

Without the fight even starting my older sister suddenly shows up and hands me over the dupatta. I am showing off with this dupatta, I recall saying to my sis 'Watch this' as if I'm about to reveal a fancy trick. Flipping my hair down, I wrap it up meticulously with the dupatta shaping it into a turban. After this I am doing a kind of traditional Indian dance, in a very joyful and lively manner. Suddenly I or my consciousness is no longer focused inside this dream body. I am somewhere on the edge of this dance and looking at the dancing body. It is my friend S, I wonder what she's doing there but am too caught up by the whole dance. There is a girl with some cosmetics in her hand, she asks S if she should pat her face with it. S is too busy dancing and nods no. I say out loud knowing my friend is absorbed in dance 'The last thing she's thinking about is putting makeup on her face'. After this statement I wake up because I am suddenly concerned that I'm speaking in my sleep.

Dupatta Dream Interpretation - Last night I did state to myself to be more aware of my dreams, I think that last part was pretty evident where I shouted out loudly opened my eyes certain that I was saying it physically. Perhaps if I wasn't too concerned that I was speaking in my sleep I could have attained some lucidity. The whole dream was actually trying to make me more aware, it's not everyday I have 2 famous actors fighting over me. My friend is a beautician and does bridal consultancy so it is no wonder why I dreamt of her having an assistant who wanted to apply some foundation on her.

I think there is some significance with the choice of actors, personally I think Amir Khan is attractive and Ajay Devgan not so attractive. My reason however for hiding away from Ajay is because of fear. This is exactly why I don't really like to interpret dreams - they end up being so overly complex and could mean a whole lot of things.

Here are some keywords of what the dream may symbolize:
vulnerability/fear(getting shot), war/feud(the fight), joy, freedom of expression(dance), beauty(cosmetic)

Night-Time Exhale

Last night I requested from Spirit Guides, Angels, Healers etc to assist with opening third eye so that I can use related abilities such as LDing, APing etc.

My main purpose was to help me mostly LD. Laying down and thinking deeply about LDing and the past experiences I had. Just simply impressing my mind with LD stuff so that in my dreams I may be more aware and alert.

While I was thinking suddenly there was an involuntary long exhale, and at one point I raised my head up in shock because I felt I was being pulled. So I rested back down and again suddenly long exhale. I started thinking 'What's going on? I just want to sleep so I can LD.' I turned over sleeping on my front side without further incident.

It was only this morning when I reviewed last night's incident I realized that it had to do with my request, or at least this is what I think it was related to. This has happened many times before and I know it's part of the Kundalini process, but the Kundalini is also related to these openings of psychic energy. I guess now I want to speed it up but that would mean I have to be prepared.

Lucid Dream Practice

It's been a while since I have intentionally tried to induce an AP. I have also had great trouble meditating and even relaxing. Meditation has become extremely difficult and I can't seem to pin point the cause for this. For the time being I will not be focusing on these practices.

Perhaps I've just been too occupied with earthly matters.

I'm going to start writing my dreams to help with recall once again. I'm going to place more of my energy towards Lucid Dreaming, since it is easier when practiced more often. Here are some things I'll be doing this week:

Before sleep, affirm lucid statements
Do regular reality checks throughout the day
Read about LD methods

Controlling Noise Pollution

This morning after 7am I started to relax - took time because I was already too awake. When I slipped into a deeper, quieter state of mind the roaring of an aircraft began. This time there was mild irritation as immediately I shifted my attention to something else. This something else I recognized as the flow of my blood, there was also the pulse beating. For a few seconds this was effective as it was overriding the sound of the aircraft and the bad reaction I have. Then attention was drawing back to aircraft sounds, tried to return to another sensation but it required more effort than the first try.

Soon I went into a dreamy yet very vivid state. I'm speaking to a man on the phone he is saying something about £200. Suddenly my this awareness (person in physical reality) is alert and I wonder who I'm talking to. I ask who he is but get the reply 'You know who I am'. The man is in my room, a black guy I don't recognise. The dream takes an erotic turn, no longer in control and in the midst of this I wake up.

Now I know that I can control my reaction to the intolerable noise pollution simply by shifting my attention on something more calming I will be practicing this a lot more, well mostly when necessary otherwise I feel there seems to be no need to apply such effort. Perhaps next time I may focus on drawing energy into the third eye chakra or hum a soothing tune.