Past Life and the Future

The Past Life
Last night in a relaxed state I felt like I was going to sleep like a baby, unfortunately that was not to be the case. In that relaxed state I began seeing partial images and just drifted off thinking very little of them. Then in my minds eye there was a sudden flash of an image where the characters came to life. There were two men, I can't quite remember how they were dressed. One man had a sword in his right hand and thrust it into the upper abdomen of this other man who seemed to be completely off guard.

At the instant that the sword had pierced through my right hand flinched and rested on the invisible wound. More disturbing than this re-enactment was the sound of the dying man which was ringing in my ears. Immediately I registered it as a past life incident and not something drawn from imagination. I'm not too sure about the nature of past lives but for the time being I feel this particular experience fits into that box.

After this I managed to get in a deep sleep but awakened at 2am, this time sleep was impossible - my mind was on auto, it was doing all the thinking for me. Questions were raised and I had to get to the bottom of these, things that relate to me personally. I had to, not resolve these questions because they did not represent problems, instead there was a deeper urge to understand some of my opinions, beliefs and convictions I have about certain things. Interestingly this was accompanied by energetic sensations.

The Future
I could not sleep until about 5am, and the external noise of birds were not helping much. I focused exclusively on my breathing and as I relaxed a little, tingling electrical currents surged up my legs. A few minutes later I heard my mum sobbing and mumbling something in the distance, she sounded traumatized as if something catastrophic had taken place. Then I wondered how on earth she got to London that fast since she was thousands of miles away in another country and I had just spoken to her on the phone that evening. Despite my rational mind and it's logical function I tried to get up to see what was going on, but some force weighed me down. The electrical fizzing in my legs restarted and I found myself raising up - I made an astral exit. I looked around my room, it was the same room but the furniture were completely different, the only thing I recognized was the carpet.

Mentally I rummaged through the room, scanning to find some of my stuff but nothing looked familiar to me. I got this impression, a gut feeling that I was in the future. It was more of an absolute knowing, as I floated about the house I briefly saw the new tenants which only confirmed this knowing. In particular there was a woman carrying a baby around. I wondered what year it was but the capacity for my mind to try and understand had become so fragmented. I ended up having some weird FAs and finally woke up.

Inner View of the Sun

Last night, before sleeping practiced diaphragmatic breathing for a few minutes. When I stopped controlling the breath I got ready for some sleep. Eyes closed, replacing the darkness behind the lids I could see an orange glow covering the entire field of vision. At first it was a deep orange and suddenly it got lighter and brighter. It looked like how the back of the eyelids would appear orange in front of the sun only the brightness of the sun is endlessly increasing to such an intensity it would cause blindness.

It happened in an instant - it was fear that snapped my eyes open. I seriously began wondering whether I can go through with any of this because of this level of fear that comes with every new special effect. Or maybe that's the point - to face these fears.

Meditation

I have been able to meditate on a few occasions in the past few days. Each time there were energetic sensations. I would get deeper and suddenly my arms would make explosive movements, there was one time I was able to move somewhat beyond this.

In one session prior to falling asleep, with my mind very still there was an awareness of a pressure in the left side of skull. The pressure eventually filled up the entire space in my head, it felt like my brain was being pumped and my skull was ready to crack open. My head felt like a helium balloon ready to float away as soon as my body would let go. I felt if my entire body was pumped with this I would begin to levitate.

I have also been practicing the alternate nostril breathing method - just the one time so far. I did one round and the energy surged through the left big toe, up my left leg, reached the left buttock where I felt a tremor that lasted a good few minutes.

Dietary Changes

For the past two weeks I've been sleeping without any interruptions. However, during the waking hours I'm feeling the movement of this energy even more and now it has gotten to the point where it doesn't really startle me. I'm getting so used to it that it feels normal. There were two occasions that did startle me. On one occasion I bent down to pick up a piece of paper and as I did had vomit travel up my gut and stuck in my throat. On another occasion while snacking on some sour cream pringles my tongue spontaneously made a quick movement - I ended up taking a bite out of my tongue. Body trying to tell me something?

This tongue event is quite interesting as some days later I felt inspired to look into changing my diet and I'm currently researching more about the raw food diet. This need to change diet came from the urge to be simple as opposed to just for health benefits, but it seems the effect of simplicity is good health. And it's not just that, I've been reading up some detailed information on Kundalini which have been a good influence. I've listed some websites on the right side of this blog.

Energy Currents During Meditation

It has become a bit difficult to meditate, it's not that I can't remain still or relax, I just can't bring myself to schedule a session like I used to. I don't have that same motivation I once had. Now I meditate when it feels right and I can do it naturally.

Last week I managed to meditate once. As I let my attention to thoughts and sounds play out, in a seemingly ordinary state there was some sudden heart palpitations, fingers and hands twitching, some movements in my thighs and then energy shooting up my legs. I felt like my entire body was being charged with electrical currents.

Reappearance of the Being

Saturday woke up 4am from phone ringing. 2 hours later began to relax. A warm feeling washed over me, I felt so warm inside the smile formed on my face as a natural reaction. Immediately followed by this was the sensation of cobwebs over my face and then goosebumps all over my right arm. I knew this meant there was something nearby, looked to my right and there was the being that I had recently met. I didn't have time to stare at it long enough to be certain because my right ear began to vibrate at an uncomfortable rate.

I averted my glance suddenly feeling vulnerable and a little afraid as the ear vibration made me feel I was lacking in control. I had a feeling my ear vibration was due to the being trying to communicate with me or it's possible that my ear was tuning into a different frequency. I tried to let the vibrations settle down without resisting but it was impossible to endure it and so I gave up and attempted to stop it instead.

So after fidgeting for a good few minutes the vibration finally stopped, but the feeling of the presence was still nearby. I didn't care to look. I was afraid to look but more than that I was annoyed. I just wanted to sleep at least for an hour and wake up feeling rejuvinated which is not the way I've been feeling lately. In order to avoid seeing this being I turned to rest on my front and began to relax once more and instantly felt a kind of funneling in my left ear. There was some root chakra sensation and some sexual stimulation present until I slipped in an altered state of consciousness where I percieved that I was in the back of a vehicle looking out at a suburb street passing by.

Once again I feel like I had triggered this, that night before bed I randomly thought about what that being was to begin with but I had no intention for another encounter. It was a background thought of very little significance.

Ribs Shift and Nonverbal Communication

This was perhaps the most extremely intense thing that has ever happened to me. I was suddenly alarmed in middle of sleep with my body in a strange twisted position. It was dark but had tactile sensation, though I still couldn't tell left from right. I had extreme breathing difficulty unable to breath in at all, gasping for air. My ribs were shifting outwards, snapping, cracking and being pulled by some force. It was agonizing yet strangely there was no pain, maybe just psychological trauma. I wasn't fighting it, not because I didn't want to but because it was impossible. Suddenly I got a flash of two people I know and I was being informed non-verbally that they will be going through the same procedure. Some time later became unconscious of the activity.

That morning had an astral type experience where I was surrounded by an array of birds, some I could identify (pigeons, sparrows etc) and a few others I don't think I've ever seen before. There was a particular bird, creamish colour with brown patches and large in size staring at me. I remember trying to memorize every inch of this bird so that I could look it up, still haven't found it.