Initially when I first heard about animal totems I had very little interest in them, but now they seem to be popping up everywhere, in dreams, SP episodes and in waking life.
On one occasion I noticed a squirrel nibbling a hazelnut it looked adorable but I didn't think much of it until I began seeing it repeatedly for several days in the exact same spot. Finally I was compelled to read up on animal totems and the meaning of the squirrel.
Yesterday afternoon in the kitchen on the outside frame of the window was a spider on its web, it was attacking a type of beetle that had two yellow spots sticking out on either end (later learned that it was a yellow shouldered ladybug). By attack I mean it was wrapping its web around the poor bugger.
Within seconds I had an entire swarm of red ladybugs concealing the window - it was kind of scary. I had to close the window to stop them from getting in, just one had got in. I know ladybugs are harmless but when there are that many you can't help but think what they are capable of and they were multiplying. At the same time the entire scene was fascinating.
I have been reading up on the meaning of these - there is a wealth of information online regarding animal totems, so much that it's hard to figure out how it fits with you personally.
I think the red ladybugs have something to do with the root chakra, the past few days I have been experiencing thumping sensation in that area. The spider also probably has some significance.
This morning after a series of dreams where I had a negative attitude I woke up. I began reflecting on the dreams realizing maybe I do need to change my attitude with certain people. Fell asleep and had a dream where my mood changed positively. I was in the woodlands, it's winter and icy cold though I didn't feel it. I noticed a pale blue bird on a tree branch. As it flew about I reached out my left arm signalling it to come forth. It rested on my hand and there was a warm feeling of joy emanating from within me. I felt both playful and at peace. I can't seem to identify this bird - I'm sure it wasn't a blue bird. It was the size of a sparrow, only it looked really chubby and was pale blue all over.
Friday, 23 October 2009
Monday, 19 October 2009
Communication with K energy
In a brave attempt to sleep on Saturday night I realized I am resisting this energy a great deal. I knew something was going to shock me that night, whether it would be that incredibly focused energy in my head or some kind of panic attack - something was ready and waiting for me to slip into a sleep state.
Closing my eyes I thought 'Bring it on!' Seconds later there was some thumping at the base of my spine. I chickened out and begged the energy to be gentle and to 'please keep the energy in my head to a minimum'. It didn't take me long to realize that maybe I was imposing so I surrendered taking back all my demands, actually just the 'bring it on' part.
The only thing I remember from that night are intense dreams of a very sensual erotic nature. I have found some kind of connection though, before these intense energies take over I do get warning signs in the form of chakra sensations.
Closing my eyes I thought 'Bring it on!' Seconds later there was some thumping at the base of my spine. I chickened out and begged the energy to be gentle and to 'please keep the energy in my head to a minimum'. It didn't take me long to realize that maybe I was imposing so I surrendered taking back all my demands, actually just the 'bring it on' part.
The only thing I remember from that night are intense dreams of a very sensual erotic nature. I have found some kind of connection though, before these intense energies take over I do get warning signs in the form of chakra sensations.
Energy Hands and Whispers
Saturday morning I relaxed, it was very natural, not forced nor attempted. Some time in the relaxation there was a surge of energy sensations shooting into my chest - I flinched my hands and at the same time heard a female voice softly whispering in my right ear 'It's okay'. I asked questions with no response.
Sleepless Nights and Naps
Sleep has become rather pointless, at least the purpose of it seems to be some kind of invitation for this extreme energy to do its bidding rather than the natural rejuvination process that I am accustomed to. Even napping has become ineffective causing intervals of extreme fatigue during the day.
On Thursday night I had difficulty sleeping. Initially there was a pulsating beat in my solar plexus that comes and goes but able to doze off. I was startled suddenly with a burning itchy sensation that kept me from sleeping for about an hour. Eventually that calmed down and I attempted to sleep. Suddenly I was startled awake by a sound in my head. Roaring and gushing, banging, crashing and clashing. There was about a hundred different sounds exploding in my head. My right ear was vibrating and inside there was a burning sensation - I felt like smoke was coming out. It all happened really fast that I didn't have a chance to panic. Soon that familiar buzzing and tingling electric sensation soared up from my back to my head. The sensation in my head was unbearable, and the buzzing caused my teeth to chatter. When I made some movement it slowly came to a stop.
After this I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go back to sleep, of course on the other hand there was no way that I was going to deprive myself of sleep for an entire night. An hour later I stopped resisting sleep and within just a few seconds of drifting into a relaxed state the energy shot through into my head causing a nervous spark. This kept me up for another hour until I fell asleep without any further shocking moments unless I blocked them from my memory.
Usually now in the mornings I get a sensation of energy rushing through my body, particularly focused on the back of my neck.
I have tried napping in the afternoons but even these are invitations for K energy, though they are mild compared to the nocturnal activities, these too end with an energy rush.
On Thursday night I had difficulty sleeping. Initially there was a pulsating beat in my solar plexus that comes and goes but able to doze off. I was startled suddenly with a burning itchy sensation that kept me from sleeping for about an hour. Eventually that calmed down and I attempted to sleep. Suddenly I was startled awake by a sound in my head. Roaring and gushing, banging, crashing and clashing. There was about a hundred different sounds exploding in my head. My right ear was vibrating and inside there was a burning sensation - I felt like smoke was coming out. It all happened really fast that I didn't have a chance to panic. Soon that familiar buzzing and tingling electric sensation soared up from my back to my head. The sensation in my head was unbearable, and the buzzing caused my teeth to chatter. When I made some movement it slowly came to a stop.
After this I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go back to sleep, of course on the other hand there was no way that I was going to deprive myself of sleep for an entire night. An hour later I stopped resisting sleep and within just a few seconds of drifting into a relaxed state the energy shot through into my head causing a nervous spark. This kept me up for another hour until I fell asleep without any further shocking moments unless I blocked them from my memory.
Usually now in the mornings I get a sensation of energy rushing through my body, particularly focused on the back of my neck.
I have tried napping in the afternoons but even these are invitations for K energy, though they are mild compared to the nocturnal activities, these too end with an energy rush.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Weird Dreams - Forced Injection and Spider Claws
Forced Injection
This morning I woke up at 4:20am slowly falling asleep by 5am. I had a pleasant dream that I was in a beach spending time with people that I seemed to know only in the dream.
Suddenly the scene changed. I was in a room, on a couch. Completely naked, my body was slightly slanted to the right side. In front of the couch there was a man standing. I felt a deep shocking pain in my left buttock. I wanted to scream out my pain but the paralysis would not allow it. A woman is injecting my left buttock with something and she keeps repeating 'we'll take that part' each time she says 'part' I could feel the syringe dig in deep.
I have no idea how I got there, however my main concern was the intentions of these two strangers. The woman was calm whereas the man was rather nervous and jittery. Finally the painful jabs came to a stop. I could see the woman get up, in her hands are sheets of papers that looked official. I managed to catch a glimpse of a page, a section required for signing. She puts this page on the couch, and looks straight at me and begins to talk. "I'm sure this is all very clear" she said.
It was clear, at least what I thought was going on was that they were removing fat from my body. The woman was some kind of surgeon and the man was the one who wanted the fat for some unknown purpose. I also knew that this was being done against my will. The woman rummages through sheets of papers grabbing two that seemed important. She grabs a chair sitting right next to my head so that I can see the paper she's holding onto. I notice a few digits - seems like a price list.
She's making some kind of peace offering with me by offering me her services. I begin to fear that after what they plan to do to my body I most likely will need it. When I woke up in my bedroom I was slightly disoriented and confused until I registered completely that I had indeed woken up quite relieved that it was just an insane vivid dream.
Spider Claws
In another dream I had a few days ago I was out in a field. I examine a car nearby, a famous Bollywood actor in the driver seat and an unknown person in the passenger seat. The car was somehow crushed killing the two people inside. I turned around and found myself in my back garden. I walked towards the house and stumbled across a large spider web, I tried to walk over it but the sticky substance got stuck on my legs. There was a spider on my leg. It's a strange looking spider - the legs are like crab claws. I attempted to shake it off me. Suddenly there's a whole swarm of mutant spiders climbing up on me. Soon they're clawing at my flesh. The pinching is intense sending some kind of sparks into my nervous system, I felt somehow it was manipulating my hormones because suddenly I felt sexually aroused. When I woke up there was a burning prickling sensation in my left lower arm when I touched that part it would sting making it seem as if there was some inflamation.
This morning I woke up at 4:20am slowly falling asleep by 5am. I had a pleasant dream that I was in a beach spending time with people that I seemed to know only in the dream.
Suddenly the scene changed. I was in a room, on a couch. Completely naked, my body was slightly slanted to the right side. In front of the couch there was a man standing. I felt a deep shocking pain in my left buttock. I wanted to scream out my pain but the paralysis would not allow it. A woman is injecting my left buttock with something and she keeps repeating 'we'll take that part' each time she says 'part' I could feel the syringe dig in deep.
I have no idea how I got there, however my main concern was the intentions of these two strangers. The woman was calm whereas the man was rather nervous and jittery. Finally the painful jabs came to a stop. I could see the woman get up, in her hands are sheets of papers that looked official. I managed to catch a glimpse of a page, a section required for signing. She puts this page on the couch, and looks straight at me and begins to talk. "I'm sure this is all very clear" she said.
It was clear, at least what I thought was going on was that they were removing fat from my body. The woman was some kind of surgeon and the man was the one who wanted the fat for some unknown purpose. I also knew that this was being done against my will. The woman rummages through sheets of papers grabbing two that seemed important. She grabs a chair sitting right next to my head so that I can see the paper she's holding onto. I notice a few digits - seems like a price list.
She's making some kind of peace offering with me by offering me her services. I begin to fear that after what they plan to do to my body I most likely will need it. When I woke up in my bedroom I was slightly disoriented and confused until I registered completely that I had indeed woken up quite relieved that it was just an insane vivid dream.
Spider Claws
In another dream I had a few days ago I was out in a field. I examine a car nearby, a famous Bollywood actor in the driver seat and an unknown person in the passenger seat. The car was somehow crushed killing the two people inside. I turned around and found myself in my back garden. I walked towards the house and stumbled across a large spider web, I tried to walk over it but the sticky substance got stuck on my legs. There was a spider on my leg. It's a strange looking spider - the legs are like crab claws. I attempted to shake it off me. Suddenly there's a whole swarm of mutant spiders climbing up on me. Soon they're clawing at my flesh. The pinching is intense sending some kind of sparks into my nervous system, I felt somehow it was manipulating my hormones because suddenly I felt sexually aroused. When I woke up there was a burning prickling sensation in my left lower arm when I touched that part it would sting making it seem as if there was some inflamation.
Monday, 12 October 2009
Kundalini Signs Breathing Out for an Extended Period
More signs of physical anomaly showing up. It happens frequently as I doze off to sleep yet each thing that occurs seems so random. Usually I would just doze off for a few minutes and then I would be startled by either some loud noise or strange ideas that something is wrong even though there appears to be no physical evidence to justify such fears.
Usually these fears are accompanied by noises that only I can hear. One night there was a loud noise that sounded like someone was trying to kick open the garden door. My sister who was awake that night did not hear anything.
Recently as I drift off to sleep my mind would remain absolutely still but awake and completely alert. Suddenly I would breathe out for a long period without any conscious control and I could hear a loud hushing sound come out of my mouth. It seems as if something or someone has occupied my body and consciously manipulating my bodily functions - I get an eerie sense of being possessed. It's not really frightening considering that breathing is mostly involuntary anyways. I think when the mind becomes still there is an increase in ones awareness, a heightened sensitivity to the senses.
It seems most of the Kundalini signs that I've read about are starting to show up. For two days I felt like some kind of bugs were biting my right arm and both legs, itching constantly. I have felt intense heat around the body particularly in my face. I've felt heat internally as well as externally. The pressure in my head intensifies when reading, perhaps has something to do with concentration.
Having some knowledge in Kundalini I guess all this is rather tolerable and I could only imagine the constant fear and distress these symptoms can cause for people who don't have the slightest clue about this Kundalini energy.
Usually these fears are accompanied by noises that only I can hear. One night there was a loud noise that sounded like someone was trying to kick open the garden door. My sister who was awake that night did not hear anything.
Recently as I drift off to sleep my mind would remain absolutely still but awake and completely alert. Suddenly I would breathe out for a long period without any conscious control and I could hear a loud hushing sound come out of my mouth. It seems as if something or someone has occupied my body and consciously manipulating my bodily functions - I get an eerie sense of being possessed. It's not really frightening considering that breathing is mostly involuntary anyways. I think when the mind becomes still there is an increase in ones awareness, a heightened sensitivity to the senses.
It seems most of the Kundalini signs that I've read about are starting to show up. For two days I felt like some kind of bugs were biting my right arm and both legs, itching constantly. I have felt intense heat around the body particularly in my face. I've felt heat internally as well as externally. The pressure in my head intensifies when reading, perhaps has something to do with concentration.
Having some knowledge in Kundalini I guess all this is rather tolerable and I could only imagine the constant fear and distress these symptoms can cause for people who don't have the slightest clue about this Kundalini energy.
Friday, 2 October 2009
Brief APs and Grinding Teeth
Woke up at 3am and then returned to bed at 5:30am despite not feeling sleepy. I felt mild vibrations through my body until I became aware of floating around an unfamiliar room. There was a desk with a number of objects. My attention was focused on the white fan because I had the exact same one in storage.
Suddenly I warped to another room - again unfamiliar yet strangely beside the window was the same fan. I think I was returning back to normal waking consciousness but ended up in the void where I remember seeing some kind of structure I can't seem to describe. I was sinking and with that sense I thought about the hierarchy of the astral plane where there is the lower level and then the higher level. I momentarily thought I'm literally going down to the lower astral plane.
I returned to normal waking consciousness and closed my eyes again to get some sleep. Immediately I felt this heavy weight inside me feeling like it was sinking out of me - like some kind of magnetic movement. My head began to vibrate, but the vibration felt so different, it had a denseness about it. The room began to change but not quite. I was still aware of my bedroom, the sound of my breathing and the vibrations happening on the physical level and then in another awareness I could see in front of me an antique looking room without anything else visible. Then something appeared in front of me on the floor in this antique room - it looked like a skinny body wrapped in white sheets. Looked like a mummy - now the room took a new shape, it felt like a museum with some unusual artifacts.
The mummified thing was continuously spinning on that single point. On the physical level I could feel pressure in the right side of my face. Back to the mummy - I thought it had disappeared, but it was still there and looked as if it was shrinking. After clear examination I realized it wasn't shrinking, instead the sheets were being removed. I didn't see anything but the unravelling of the sheets made me feel incredibly angry, I demanded it to stop.
Then on the physical level my teeth began to chatter, it was literally buzzing. I then heard the sound and felt the motion of my jaw that highly suggested I was grinding my teeth confirming my recent suspicion over the reason for my unusual sensitivity in the back teeth when eating chocolate. I was conscious of my unconscious teeth grinding and was unable to consciously control the movement of my jaw. Although unable to make any movement I managed to slowly stick my tongue out to reduce the impact of the grinding. Felt my teeth buzzing and moving side to side on my tongue. Fortunately there wasn't too much pressure and a few minutes later of the grinding I naturally snapped out of it at 6:20am.
Suddenly I warped to another room - again unfamiliar yet strangely beside the window was the same fan. I think I was returning back to normal waking consciousness but ended up in the void where I remember seeing some kind of structure I can't seem to describe. I was sinking and with that sense I thought about the hierarchy of the astral plane where there is the lower level and then the higher level. I momentarily thought I'm literally going down to the lower astral plane.
I returned to normal waking consciousness and closed my eyes again to get some sleep. Immediately I felt this heavy weight inside me feeling like it was sinking out of me - like some kind of magnetic movement. My head began to vibrate, but the vibration felt so different, it had a denseness about it. The room began to change but not quite. I was still aware of my bedroom, the sound of my breathing and the vibrations happening on the physical level and then in another awareness I could see in front of me an antique looking room without anything else visible. Then something appeared in front of me on the floor in this antique room - it looked like a skinny body wrapped in white sheets. Looked like a mummy - now the room took a new shape, it felt like a museum with some unusual artifacts.
The mummified thing was continuously spinning on that single point. On the physical level I could feel pressure in the right side of my face. Back to the mummy - I thought it had disappeared, but it was still there and looked as if it was shrinking. After clear examination I realized it wasn't shrinking, instead the sheets were being removed. I didn't see anything but the unravelling of the sheets made me feel incredibly angry, I demanded it to stop.
Then on the physical level my teeth began to chatter, it was literally buzzing. I then heard the sound and felt the motion of my jaw that highly suggested I was grinding my teeth confirming my recent suspicion over the reason for my unusual sensitivity in the back teeth when eating chocolate. I was conscious of my unconscious teeth grinding and was unable to consciously control the movement of my jaw. Although unable to make any movement I managed to slowly stick my tongue out to reduce the impact of the grinding. Felt my teeth buzzing and moving side to side on my tongue. Fortunately there wasn't too much pressure and a few minutes later of the grinding I naturally snapped out of it at 6:20am.
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